Heather McMahon (2:23)

We both have on zero makeup. We are. We. We look like two lesbians who came to Ve to buy crystals on the Strip. You're wearing a. What is this texture, would you say, for this leather jacket?

Jen Zabrowski (2:37)

Okay, so Jill Bream. Jill Bream, who's a costume designer in New York City. She is a costume designer on Saturday Night Live. Okay.

Heather McMahon (2:46)

She designed my costume for breadwinner.

Jen Zabrowski (2:47)

Yes. And she is incredible. I mean, she's amazing. And Jill is my coolest friend, and she told me to get this jacket.

Heather McMahon (2:54)

Wow, thanks. Yes. But she told you to get this jacket?

Jen Zabrowski (3:00)

You're my most fun friend.

Heather McMahon (3:01)

I don't even know about that. It's a lot of stress.

Jen Zabrowski (3:03)

But, yeah. So Jill just told me to get this, and I did. I had. Cool. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, you know, we're. I. I don't know what this look is. It's literally I got on a plane and then put these sunglasses on. But, yeah, it does make me feel. I don't know. I'm like, is this too edgy?

Heather McMahon (3:20)

No, no, no.

Jen Zabrowski (3:21)

For me.

Heather McMahon (3:22)

You look fantastic. I will say, though, the barrel jeans, we got to talk about it.

Jen Zabrowski (3:27)

Jill made me get these.

Heather McMahon (3:28)

But here's the thing. I will fight Jill. I'm gonna see Jill next week in New York. I will fight Jill on the barrel jeans. The barrel jeans, now, they do look cute on you. I'm not saying you don't look cute. But the barrel jeans, to me need to fucking stop. If you're watching this right now and you've purchased a pair of barrel jeans, unless you're wearing them to the fucking rodeo. What are you doing?

Jen Zabrowski (3:49)

But you know what? I'll say this because I said to Jill, I said I was having, like, a denim crisis. Like, it was like an identity crisis when it comes to denim. I feel like we all are there, Right? We can agree on that.

Heather McMahon (4:00)

I am in a oversized, vintage Levi's men's jacket that makes me look like a mast.

Jen Zabrowski (4:06)

So.

Heather McMahon (4:06)

Yes, I get it. Yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (4:07)

And then you put on oversized, like, big open jeans, which is like. Yeah, this oversized look, this is great. But then we look like monster people.

Heather McMahon (4:18)

We look like slob kebabs.

Jen Zabrowski (4:20)

Yes.

Heather McMahon (4:21)

It's not flattering on anybody. Everybody got into the Palazzo Pant. It's not my look. I know we're staying at the Palazzo right now, but, you know, when Kendrick Lamar came out in his nice boot cut, fitted jeans, I said fitted.

Jen Zabrowski (4:32)

Thank God we're seeing the booty. We're seeing the thigh. And then we just give a little flare, a little flare.

Heather McMahon (4:38)

A flare is flattering on everyone. It doesn't matter if you're short and stocky, if you're tall and lanky, if you're plus size, mid size straight, you. You put a boot cut on a lemur and they're gonna look cute.

Jen Zabrowski (4:54)

No, it is. It's a very flattering look. I was gonna say this Isn't gonna help my case. I was like, I just saw someone else that was recently back in a boot cut jean and that was Meghan Markle. So this isn't helping. But she had on that with a nice navy sweater. She looked adorable. She looked not the example we want to use, but anyways, Jill told me also to get these jeans. They are wildly expensive. It makes me sick.

Heather McMahon (5:19)

Are they rack and bone?

Jen Zabrowski (5:21)

No, they're Mely loton.

Heather McMahon (5:23)

Oh, yeah, yeah, Those were pricey.

Jen Zabrowski (5:28)

Are so expensive. But I put them on and I was like, these look cute. I was trying on so many jeans and they were all terrible. And I put these on and I was like. I did feel. I felt good in them, but.

Heather McMahon (5:41)

Well, I'm here to bring you back down to reality.

Jen Zabrowski (5:44)

They gotta go. I'm not wearing these tonight, though.

Heather McMahon (5:47)

I want you to know, Jen, everything you put on. Jen is one of my secret friends who has the secret body, the secret hot body that whenever she gets dressed, I just go, this stupid bitch.

Jen Zabrowski (5:57)

I appreciate that.

Heather McMahon (5:58)

I mean, you got great, great tits. You got a tiny waist, a perky ass. I mean, it's just. Get out of here.

Jen Zabrowski (6:03)

You wouldn't know looking at me right now.

Heather McMahon (6:05)

That's what I'm saying. These goddamn barrel jeans need to go.

Jen Zabrowski (6:08)

All right, all right, all right. Anyways, you know, my gold in 2024 was to dress sexier, and I didn't do that, so.

Heather McMahon (6:18)

No, you're getting there.

Jen Zabrowski (6:19)

Okay.

Heather McMahon (6:20)

No, you are sexy. I mean, listen, we're not. None of us are.

Jen Zabrowski (6:24)

When we go out to after parties, I. I wear. I get the boobs out and I do the thing.

Heather McMahon (6:32)

But I had to tell you, I said, wear the girls, get the tits out. This is Hollywood, Jen. If we're going to be out and selling our TV shows, selling the specials, we need it. We need to play the game. I don't care. You know, that's why I always have a slit up to my clit. Because I got to sell, sell, sell.

Jen Zabrowski (6:50)

And sell she does.

Heather McMahon (6:51)

And sell she does. We're here in Vegas and I mean, we are dressed like two gals that live somewhere in Tucson or Sedona. And we come to the Vegas thing, we hit our restaurants. We'd love to go see the magicians. We seem like the lesbian couple who just. We have a personal relationship with the magicians.

Jen Zabrowski (7:08)

Oh, we absolutely do. We love this. And we're gonna go and we're gonna spend the big dollars and go to the sphere for the big magicians over there. Copperfield or whoever.

Heather McMahon (7:17)

Oh, yeah. And then we're going to see the Eagles at the Sphere. We. We look like lesbians who have own a crystal shop in Arizona. And we love the Eagles, period.

Jen Zabrowski (7:26)

Is this what this? Is this what you don't do?

Heather McMahon (7:31)

No. Like, rock on.

Jen Zabrowski (7:32)

Rock on.

Heather McMahon (7:33)

Is this this? This is, I think a demonic symbol. No, that's Longhorns. That's the Texas Longhorns. Why are you doing that?

Jen Zabrowski (7:41)

For my boyfriend, Glen Powell. For my boyfriend Glen Powell.

Heather McMahon (7:45)

So Jen and I do share a love of Glen Powell and he is just such a cutie. And we ran into him at the one hotel and he. Jen had just told me, I think 20 minutes prior, it was you, me and Tina, right?

Jen Zabrowski (7:56)

Yes.

Heather McMahon (7:57)

And you were sitting there and you're like, man, my y. I saw Glen Powell. I would just. I would. I would attack him. And then Glenn Powell happened to be sitting at the bar behind us.

Jen Zabrowski (8:05)

And here's the thing. Heather. Heather will talk to anyone. I travel with Heather all over these great states and she's chatting with everyone, making friends. People approach her. Heather's chit chatting with them. I didn't know this about Heather is that she will not go up and introduce herself to someone who she knows of. Yeah, she'll talk to a stranger, but she's not a, hey, I'm a big fan of yours. Or like, hey, we have this person in common. You. That's not your vibe. And after years of being friends and working together, I did not know this until this moment where I always talk to people. I do it less now. You know, like after 20 years of living in Los Angeles. But there was a phase when American Idol was at its height.

Heather McMahon (8:56)

Here we go.

Jen Zabrowski (8:56)

There is not an American Idol contestant that I did not touch. I mean, I was just like out

Heather McMahon (9:01)

and about, like chasing down Ruben Stutter down the strip. What are you talking about?

Jen Zabrowski (9:06)

No, I once I saw Jordan Sparks at an AMC theater and stroked her arm and told her how proud I was of her.

Heather McMahon (9:15)

So let me get this right. You've been assaulting American Idol contestants? Yes. Wow. Good thing I brought her on camera. If anybody needs to identify their stalker, here she is. Jen Zabrowski.

Jen Zabrowski (9:27)

I don't know what the. The limit of stat. What is that called?

Heather McMahon (9:30)

The statute of limitation is. It's usually about 12 years, but.

Jen Zabrowski (9:34)

So maybe I, Maybe I passed that. When. When's Jordan Sparks on? But during, like, there was a, like a five season period of time when I would just talk to anyone who was on American Idol. Also once in a nightclub, I. I saw Chris Evans. And this was like, back when, like, Lindsay Lohan had just gotten out of rehab for the first time. We had, like, remember was Andy Melanakis. Remember the Andy Melanakis show?

Heather McMahon (10:04)

One of the best pieces of art, I would say, of our time.

Jen Zabrowski (10:07)

Yes, 100% agree. He was at this club. It was on Santa Monica Boulevard. I forget the name of it, but this was when, you know, I was in my 20s and, like, going out and partying and, like. And I. I was also a preschool teacher at the time. And I had to leave the club because I had to go home to get some sleep before I had to go teach preschool the next morning.

Heather McMahon (10:28)

Yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (10:28)

And I was like, but before I go, I have to do one thing. And I walked up to Chris Evans, and I just want you to know, I knew beforehand. I walked up to him and I said. I stroked his face and I said, you are American Pie.

Heather McMahon (10:47)

What was his reaction?

Jen Zabrowski (10:49)

He smiled and was also like, what the fuck is happening? Who is this woman? But he smiled and he was like, thank you. And I was like, I have to go teach preschool in the morning. So I got to go. But I just want you to know, you are American Pie. You're going to do great things. And I walked away.

Heather McMahon (11:04)

Wait, hold on. Do you see that? Real quick, do you see that? That looks.

Jen Zabrowski (11:07)

Is that a private plane? It looks like it's coming into the building. Yeah.

Heather McMahon (11:10)

We are sitting. We can see the sphere from the window. I didn't mean to cut you off. I'm so sorry, but all the private planes that are taking off from the airport look like they're about to run directly through our window. Like it is giving me a heart attack. Six times, y'.

Jen Zabrowski (11:22)

All.

Heather McMahon (11:22)

I have really, truly been consistent with something, and that's my neutral fall. Okay? That is my neutral fall. If you have ever suffered from hair thinning, shedding, or hair issues, you understand how honestly insecure can make you feel. I felt like all of my hair started to thin and shed after I did ivf. And I had this big hormonal change and imbalance in my life. And this year, I was like, you know What? From day one, January 1st, I'm going to stay super consistent with my Nutrafol. I take it every day. And I've seen such a big difference. I mean, I've got, like, some visible thickness and decreased shedding, improved hair growth. It's just truly a game changer. The reason I love it, though, is because even if I wasn't taking it to improve my hair health, I'm also just taking it to calm myself because it gets the root problem of why your hair is thinning in the first place. Which mine was my hormones. 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Heather McMahon (17:31)

You know what they say. Early bird gets the ultimate vacation home. Book early and save over $120 with VRBO because early gets you closer to the action. Whether it's waves lapping at the shore or snoozing in a hammock that overlooks, well, whatever you want it to. So you can all enjoy the payoff come summer with Verpo's early booking deals. Rise and shine. Average savings $141. Select homes only. But sorry, okay, wait. Let's go back to Chris Evans. But here's the thing. I like pumping people up. I really find a joy in that kind of exposure. You know what it is? I feel intimidated. And not that intimidated. Like I shouldn't be in the same room as these people, but I know what it's like in Hollywood. I don't want to. I mean, I creeped on enough people when I worked at SoulCycle in a way, but the dynamic was different. I don't know why. Even now, as a peer in some of these situations, I'm just like, I'm just gonna shit in a corner and drink my chardonnay. Why do I get anxious?

Jen Zabrowski (18:33)

No, I was a nightmare anyt time. The few acting jobs that I booked, I was panicked. Fully, like on set in that. In that dynamic hierarchy, etc of like when to make friends, when people want to talk in the makeup trailer, that kind of thing. Not great in that dynamic, but walking up to people and just like being like, you're amazing. I'm so excited for you and, and to bring it back to our mutual boyfriend, Glen Powell, I was like, this is my moment. We have friends in common. I was like, I'm gonna. And I've wanted for years to meet him and to tell him that he's going to be the biggest movie star and he was going to save Hollywood. My sister and I. My sister knows this. I would be like, jess, this guy, Glen Powell, I'm telling you, he's going to be a movie star. And now the moment's past because he is a movie star. So I can't tell him he's going to be a movie star because year

Heather McMahon (19:34)

ago, like, he was just about to start doing the press tour for Twisters. And I. You really. You had a three day window, you had a 20 minute window to tell him he was going to be a star, and now he is a star. And I don't think you can ever do that again.

Jen Zabrowski (19:44)

Well, you know what? It's your fault.

Heather McMahon (19:46)

It is my fault.

Jen Zabrowski (19:47)

Because I got all excited. I was like, we have friends in common. I know what I'm going to say. I was running through it. I was like.

Heather McMahon (19:52)

And he was casual. He didn't have a big posy. He was having just a cocktail with two friends.

Jen Zabrowski (19:55)

And there weren't a lot of people there. It was like a very cool vibe. It was like this. This is it. This.

Heather McMahon (19:59)

There was also a French bulldog that was adjacent and like a chair necklace to it, which, like, that could have been an easy end. Whose dog is this? Like, there were so many ways for you to approach a situation smoothly, calmly and efficiently.

Jen Zabrowski (20:11)

And I was like, this is my moment. This is my time. And I was like, all right, we're doing this. And because we were getting up to leave and. And. And Heather just started to disassociate, like, even as I was like, okay, I'm gonna do this. And Heather was like, oh, she wasn't even getting words out. She was just like, like looking off into the distance, even though we were even closer than we are right now physically. And then we get up and we start moving towards him and Heather just takes a hard left and she walks. And you stood in front of a wall.

Heather McMahon (20:40)

You.

Jen Zabrowski (20:41)

A wall was six inches from your face and you just.

Heather McMahon (20:45)

I did. I stood like, like by the elevator bank. But there wasn't. I wasn't like, in front of the door. I was just standing. And you know the one hotel, there's a lot of wood and it's very eco friendly. So I was standing in front of like a piece of pine bark or some shit, and I was just like. Like, I didn't know what to do.

Jen Zabrowski (21:00)

And she just stood in front of the wall and I see her and I'm like, well, I now can't speak to this man. I was like, is this so unhinged what I'm about to do? I didn't trust myself. I've been doing it.

Heather McMahon (21:09)

Sorry. 20 years. And I fudged you up. Here I am. You know what? You need to trust yourself and quit listening to me because here I am bullying you about the barrel jeans. But they look cute on you and you should have gone after it. Don't listen to me. I don't know why. Maybe it's just because he's so attractive and I'll go up to other people. But let me tell you something. I. You. You've re inspired. Me, I'm going to start fucking bugging everyone because I don't even like to. To come on the podcast because I get so intimidated of, like, I understand that they're overwhelmed and I don't know why, like, asking that. I'm like, oh, I never want to ask a favor. Like, these asked me to do shit for them all the time. Fuck this. We. You know what? We're changing the narrative. This year is the year of I don't give a flying fuck. No, you're probably going to reject me, but I'm going to just say, get over to my house and I'm going to shove a microphone in your face.

Jen Zabrowski (21:52)

I love asking people for favors. Yeah, I love it. Yes. Ask people. Connect people. I love connecting people.

Heather McMahon (22:00)

Well, I love connecting people. That is networking is really truly my love language. I'm like, what do you need? You need spray tan artists in, like, Tampa? I know a girl like, or whatever you and I both enjoy that I

Jen Zabrowski (22:10)

never would have met if I was like, will you come on my podcast?

Heather McMahon (22:14)

And I bullshit all the time on here. I say, you know, go for it. Go for. Go for the gold. Ask for it. I don't know why I've gotten intimidating. You know, I saw there's another comedian. When I was at that Netflix party and Tina was with me. We were at a Netflix brunch during Netflix as a joke comedy festival. And I saw this woman go around to every single person. She didn't give a flying fuck if it was Judd Apatow, if it was Dave Chappelle. She just went in there and asserted herself and just let people know. And I had just gotten rejected by another male comedian who was a total asshole to me, but whatever. Fuck em. And Whitney Cummings came up to me and she's like, are you good? I was like, yeah, I'm fine. You just saw that. She's like, yeah. Coming to these parties makes it feel like it's the junior high dance. And I was like, but look at this other gal work in every corner. Didn't give a. That's the energy I need to have.

Jen Zabrowski (23:02)

I mean, not to say how great I am, but what did I. What did I do at the Golden Globes party?

Heather McMahon (23:07)

You worked that right for you.

Jen Zabrowski (23:08)

And. And Steph, when a certain person came up. Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx comes up to our table. Well, he walks by, and we were like, Jamie, we were like, we love your, you know, your special. He sees Steph to Lev, and she's sitting there, and he. He recognizes her. He follows her on Instagram. They have a nice moment. And I stand up, and I think I literally said something like, because I directed Steph to Love special, too, which is coming out on Netflix in the next couple months. And I was like. I was like, Jamie. I was like. Also, I was like, do you know, have you watched Heather McMahon special? She. She filmed it in Atlanta at the Fox. I was like, I directed. I was like, these are. Mike. I think I said, these are my comedians. And I was in a suit.

Heather McMahon (23:55)

With your titties out. You were in a suit. Suit. And that the zipper had broken, so your nips were about three seconds away from just full areolas popping out.

Jen Zabrowski (24:04)

And Jamie was like, you shot your special at the Fox in Atlanta. And then he came over, and he's

Heather McMahon (24:10)

like, get over here.

Jen Zabrowski (24:10)

Let's take a picture together. And he was like. And we had such a great moment, and we sat down, and you were like, jen, I'm gonna give you 10%. And I was in the corner of, like, this, like, booth in my suit with these. My two babes on either side of me. And I was like, yeah, I love talking to people like that.

Heather McMahon (24:27)

Well, and that's the thing is, I'm great at network. Like, if you put me on the convention floor, forget it. You took me to the dog show, crushed it. I don't know why. And maybe it's because I'm in Atlanta and I'm a little bit adjacent. Like, I'm not in the scene so much. I don't know what has gotten into me where I just feel like I need to be a little bit more quiet. And maybe it's because I feel like I'm so loud on social media all the time that when I get in these rooms, it's like, I just.

Jen Zabrowski (24:51)

I'm Just chill, you know, I have a thought.

Heather McMahon (24:53)

What hit me with it.

Jen Zabrowski (24:55)

I think it's because you are the talent, and I am very much like a producer at my core. And it's also what makes us, when we're working together, a really solid team. But, like, because. And I wish I had realized sooner in my career that really I'm like a. A producer and director, and I love directing specials because it really is just, like, gassing people up and seeing one person's vision and, like, putting that on blast, which is like a really exaggerated version of going and up to someone and grabbing their face and being like, you're American Pie. And then he ends up being Captain America. This was before he was captain, Years before he was Captain America.

Heather McMahon (25:46)

You spoke that into Existence.

Jen Zabrowski (25:48)

Yes.

Heather McMahon (25:49)

Wow.

Jen Zabrowski (25:49)

And I get so excited about people.

Heather McMahon (25:51)

Yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (25:52)

And so I. That's why I, like, I love when we're creating content where you'll be at the center of it, but when you're the talent with a capital T, I feel like it's like, yeah, when you're on, you're on. And I mean. Yeah, you make connections like. Like bonkers. Like, you work a room. I mean, it's unlike anything I've ever seen. But, yeah, I think when it comes to that kind of stuff, that's not like. And you don't need to be better at it.

Heather McMahon (26:21)

But we've also come in so many rooms with huge talent, and, you know, the ones that are insufferable. Yeah, you. And especially, like, in the comedy world, the ones that are just. They're screaming from across the room. They gotta be seen. And I already know that, like, I'm a little bit of a outsider. I come in with my big blonde hair, my big tits, and. You know what I mean? And. And it. I. I don't know why I. I've. I felt intimidated in a way of that, but it's just like, I kind of, like, ease in and I'm like, all right, you know, And I know my people, and I'm friendly. I'll talk to anybody. But I do need to get better at just being like, what's up, motherfuckers? And, like, don't give a shit.

Jen Zabrowski (26:57)

I love that for you.

Heather McMahon (26:58)

Because at some point, most of these people have DM me at some point, like, hey, are you married? What's up? You know what I mean? Like, they're all. They all want the same thing at the end of the day. But so, yeah, we're here. You're coming on the road with me for some dates because you're helping me make sure that we're not wasting a moment's breath on a joke that doesn't work. I mean, Jen, you've been so instrumental and just kind of like, it's so great when I have somebody else who can watch the show and then come backstage after the show and be like, you didn't make that transition. What were you trying to say with that joke? What was the point of that? It's helped me so much because you were so instrumental in and keeping my brain together too. And for those of y' all who don't know at home, Jen and I have sold two different TV shows together. We just sold another one. We've gotta take it out to market. So I also wanted you to see being on the road with me. Like, you get the schedule, it's. We're on the road. And then as soon as Monday hits, I'm doing my podcast. Then Tuesday we're on calls, pitching this show to different networks. It's kind of like you gotta have your hands in everything to know what's going on.

Jen Zabrowski (27:57)

It's amazing. I. When. So we just went to Alabama. I went to Alabama with you. You did four shows in four nights. And when the company made a move, company move from Huntsville to Birmingham, we were in the car and the entire time, Heather, like a two hour car ride. Heather just rolled calls. And it was all about. It was all about your schedule. And. And I went home and was talking to Van, my husband, and I was just like, you know. Cause we write shows together, so we're pitching, we're developing movie ideas and then you're on the road and it's been so fun to wear this hat of helping shape material and support that for you. And just being a sounding board, really, and just writing everything down. And it's like, it's really amazing to see. It motivated me. And what I said to Van was like, there can be no time wasted. So it also makes me up my game to want to be. To provide something that's as efficient for you and that gets to the point. And so when our time, when we have time together to work on whatever it is that it's like organized and ready to go for you to come in and to execute, so then you can leave and go and execute the next thing. It's unbelievable the amount of stuff you do.

Heather McMahon (29:27)

I don't know if it's like, it's not probably great, but I. Here's my thing.

Jen Zabrowski (29:32)

Your adrenals must be.

Heather McMahon (29:33)

Oh, they've been shot.

Jen Zabrowski (29:34)

The adrenals.

Heather McMahon (29:34)

The adrenal. The adrenals have been shot. You know what? I'm not supposed to be having a shitty ass iced coffee, Starbucks. I'm not supposed to be living off caffeine. But here we are.

Jen Zabrowski (29:42)

Here we are.

Heather McMahon (29:43)

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For 15% off your first purchase purchase@lumideodorant.com that's absolutely 15. At L U M E D E O D O R A N T that's lumide.com Please support our show and tell them that we sent you Smell fresher, stay drier and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lumi with Verbo care. Help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists so support is always, always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. Dude, you should have seen me last night. Okay, listen, I want you to know I love you dearly and I appreciate you and I am so grateful. We were talking about this earlier sidebar and we'll get into Vegas shit. Just, you know, we were talking about we've known each other for what like eight years now. And when we met it was just like a kismet thing. We were both. We met because you. Just to refresh folks who don't know we met cause you had a podcast called we need to talk about Brittany. I was at the beginning stages of doing Britney 91 1. I came to your house. I. You had a very sweet voice. On your podcast, I said, I don't know if I'm going to vibe with this girl. And I showed up to her, Joey,

Jen Zabrowski (36:01)

about the leather blazer and. And the barrel jeans.

Heather McMahon (36:05)

You did have a very sweet voice on your podcast. I remember being like, I just don't know if I. This is going to be my kind of gal. And then I show up. You're dressed like a lesbian. You live in Joni Mitchell's house in the canyon. And I was like. And then we were both sobbing over our dead relatives and friends. And I was like, this is my bitch. And we've been, you know, running the show since.

Jen Zabrowski (36:23)

Yeah, no, it's great. It's amazing. It's amazing when you just. Because when you find someone that you can work with, it's really rare. And to work in such an intense business with so much rejection there.

Heather McMahon (36:36)

We have had so many no's. Yes. People see the yeses, but the no's are daily, hourly by the minute. You know, last night when I was playing roulette, I was looking around, and I don't connect to gambling. And I realized why. Because my job is a gamble. Every day I get up on stage, I don't know if I'm gonna win or lose. You know, it's up to the house. It truly is. Like, I don't know what the outcome's gonna be when we're pitching stuff, when I'm auditioning. I'm so used to hearing, no, you did not win, that I just don't get a high. I'd be like, I get a high off walking off stage and being like, I fucking crushed it, or, that was a fun show. So sitting there and just throwing thousands of dollars and rolling dice, I'm like, I feel nothing.

Jen Zabrowski (37:21)

I'm dead inside. Not truly nothing. It's crazy. I was, like, pulling into my driveway the other day, and I was, like, having this moment where I was like, do I have a. Am I put together? Like, am I okay? Or is this, like, a complete disaster? That is my life.

Heather McMahon (37:36)

But we all feel that way, right? Every day.

Jen Zabrowski (37:38)

But then I realized I was like, I have lived in Los Angeles and worked in entertainment as my sole job, where it's been my only job now for, like, 12, 15 years. And. And same with my husband. And I'm like, and we're married. We like each other. I, like, live in this house. Like, I had friends who were so, like, suicidal or drug problems, and they were like, I have to leave. And now they have, like, incredible lives someplace else. And. But they were like, I can't do this, this. And I'm like, you know what? It's okay. This is meant for me. Because if I can withstand all of that and have, like, you know, be

Heather McMahon (38:23)

somewhat normal, that is winning, and you need to write that down. I have not killed myself yet. But people don't. I really think, you know, there is so much glitz and glamour in this business. But if you. Often I feel like, as a talent, as a producer working in this business, you are in this fishbowl. And when I meet other people, like, so many comics are sober, they don't drink because they were grinding it out on the road or they had problems with that. I mean, it is a really insecure business. It does not matter if you look like you're on top of the world. Ten people have told you no that weekend for whatever reason. And you're selling yourself. You're selling yourself as a director, as a writer, as a producer. I'm selling myself as. I mean, I've been told, like, she's too fat for the project, period. You know what I mean? Like, where, like, if you make it out and you're. You don't have a major issue, like, wow, 10 out of 10, you're thriving.

Jen Zabrowski (39:15)

10 out of 10, you're Thriving. Yeah. My. The. This is when I. I had to take a break from auditioning for commercials. It was. The breakdown came in, and it said, not. Not pretty, not ugly. Someone out there loves her. And I was like, I can't do this anymore.

Heather McMahon (39:36)

Yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (39:37)

Cause I was like, honestly, I'm perfect for this role. I was like. And then I started to spin out. I was like, I can't. I can't. I needed a break. I needed a break. But it's. It's hard. It's like. There's so much. It's just. It's a. It is a tough business. I'm so glad that I met you, because we just have fun.

Heather McMahon (39:53)

We have fun, and we've been through the trenches. I mean, Jen, one time we were pitching a show about five years ago. It was when Good Grief got sold. We were pitching a show at a really big production house. We went in there, and this woman was being so fucking rude to us. Now, mind you, I was in the middle of having an ovarian torsion. Again, we didn't know. This is when my cyst was growing. So I show up at the lot. We're at, like, the WB lot or some shit. And I look jaundice. I look ill. I'm like, Jen, I don't know what's going on. This cyst is just. It's bad. And I was like, I think I'm gonna barf. So I'd already went into this meeting, like. Like, really trying to put it on. I was putting on the Ritz. This bitch was so rude to us. She. What did she say?

Jen Zabrowski (40:33)

She was like. She was so. She was so rude to us and our. Our time, but she was so rude to you because it was about your life story, about you losing your dad, which was said at the top of the meeting.

Heather McMahon (40:49)

This is a show about losing a father figure, period.

Jen Zabrowski (40:53)

My dad.

Heather McMahon (40:54)

My dad. True story.

Jen Zabrowski (40:56)

True story. And then she said, but, I mean, after season one, we've moved on from the dad dying, so.

Heather McMahon (41:04)

So, like, what do you care? And I think she was like, and why is he important? And I was like, he's my dad.

Jen Zabrowski (41:12)

And it was just so bad. We had another meeting at Judd Apatow's company, who were fantastic. And I was like, you know what? And so I and Heather, we hadn't been working together that long at this point. And I did say to you, because you brought up my voice, and I said to you, I know how I sound. I know how I present, but I want you to know that I'm from upstate New York.

Heather McMahon (41:35)

Yeah, gang.

Jen Zabrowski (41:36)

And there is a part of me, just so you know, that is not to be fucked with, and you'll see it and you'll know. And I turned to this woman and I said, I'm so sorry, we have to go to another meeting. We. We're. We're going to be late to go to Judd Apatows. And it doesn't seem like this is working out.

Heather McMahon (41:55)

But you said it like this. Let me read out. You know what? I'm sorry, but we got a meeting across town at Judd Apatow's, and you don't seem to be really feeling this. So, Heather, I'd like for you to grab your purse. We gotta go. Thanks for your time. And then it was like a mic drop. Like, bitch. It was so amazing. And I remember just being like, that's my girl. That's my girl from upstate.

Jen Zabrowski (42:17)

That's my girl.

Heather McMahon (42:19)

My Gucci gang girl.

Jen Zabrowski (42:20)

Yeah. I was like, yeah, get out of here with that.

Heather McMahon (42:23)

Get out of here. But I mean, listen, I don't want people to be like, oh, they're just bitching about the business. But it's a wild ride. Like, people don't see the behind the scenes stuff, but we are having fun in Vegas. We're gonna hit the craps table. Dude, I just found out they have masseuse. Last night, I was playing roulette with a bunch of people who are coming to the show tonight.

Jen Zabrowski (42:42)

Yeah, What'd you say? You said on Instagram you were playing craps while getting a massage.

Heather McMahon (42:47)

I was playing roulette and this very attractive Thai woman came behind me. And her shirt, she had her tits out and it just said embroidered across her V neck massage. And I said, are you putting out? What? Like, am I picking up what you're putting down? And she literally unzipped her fanny pack and she's like, $2aminute. I said, bitch, get comfy, because I could be here all night. And I got my neck worked on while I was playing roulette.

Jen Zabrowski (43:14)

And she works for the hotel.

Heather McMahon (43:16)

Works for the hotel. If you go by the high rolling rooms they have, I saw a man.

Jen Zabrowski (43:21)

They'll suck your dick for you.

Heather McMahon (43:22)

They will suck your dick for you. I saw a man. And there were. When you're at the high rolling tables, there's not that many people doing it because it's obviously a big buy in. There was a man in like Umbro shopping. He had like Oakley wraparound sunglasses, right? Because they all. You gotta have the shades on when you're doing high gambling, poker. This woman was on his back. She was like on top of him. Like, he was bent over and he was playing poker in his Umbros and his Oakleys. And this woman had an elbow in him and had the works and just kept dipping her hand in her fanny pack for the oil. It was incredible. I'm like, I. I would become addicted to that part of the gambling.

Jen Zabrowski (43:58)

I had no idea.

Heather McMahon (43:59)

Yeah, they're bringing you drinks. You can smoke a cigarette while you get in a massage. I mean, the only way that they can make it better is that they could drop off chicken tenders. And I don't think you can eat on the floor. But if they dropped off chicken tenders while I was getting a massage and smoking a cigarette and drinking a McUltra, you bitch, I'd be moving to Vegas.

Jen Zabrowski (44:15)

Oh, my God. For sure. I did not know that. I didn't know that.

Heather McMahon (44:20)

But I met this great. These three couples, they were all from Ohio. They came to the special tapings. Like, what's cool about Vegas and performing here is people fly in from every everywhere. So it's not like you're rolling into, you know, a Birmingham and you, you can pinpoint exactly what the vibe is. People are coming from all over and they make a trip out of it. So that's why I think performing here is even more exciting. Because you really have to put on the Ritz. Cause you're like, I want this to be the best show ever. Because you've tried. You've made a vacation out of this also.

Jen Zabrowski (44:48)

I mean, it's Vegas. It doesn't get, like, more showbiz than that.

Heather McMahon (44:53)

Dude, there is a rock star shit feeling when the security will take me down to the show. And you'll see later, security will show up. I'm already dressed in my. They walk you through the underbelly of the casino. You know, you see everybody taking up room service. I mean, it's like the opening scene from Hacks. And you're like, here I am. I would love a Vegas residency. Vegas, if you'll have me, I'll stay here. I crushed the shops all over the Palazzo. I went over to the Wynn. I hit the Neiman's. Now I will say, I was Pretty Woman today. I could move here. But they have. They have to order larger sizes in the stores.

Jen Zabrowski (45:26)

I mean, we're in Vegas. I tried to find women. I mean, give me a break. We're not only dealing with twos and fours in Vegas.

Heather McMahon (45:35)

I needed just a black pump. I went to Jimmy Choo, Stuart Weitzman. I went into Ferragamo. Everybody can order the shoe in a size 11, but they didn't have it in stock. And I'm like, you have middle America coming here. I know there is a girthy bitch from Michigan who's got a wide foot and has two grand cash that she just won at the Britney Spears slot machine.

Jen Zabrowski (45:55)

She wants to drive.

Heather McMahon (45:56)

She wants to buy a pumpkin. She wants to buy a black patent leather pump to wear to my show tonight. And can't do it.

Jen Zabrowski (46:02)

You should tell them. Write it down in the computer. I want to see you type it. Type it into that computer.

Heather McMahon (46:08)

Carrie.

Jen Zabrowski (46:10)

Carry the other sizes.

Heather McMahon (46:11)

Carry the other sizes. They could all order it for me. And I said, if you can get it to the backstage at the palazzo theater by 10pm this evening, then I can do it.

Jen Zabrowski (46:21)

Heather, I feel like this show is gonna be fantastic tonight. Because this week I had. And I'm. I'm not even kidding. And it kept happening. It happened three times where I had dreams. And I can't really remember the specifics.

Heather McMahon (46:38)

Yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (46:38)

But I wake up laughing. Do you wake up laughing?

Heather McMahon (46:41)

Oh, I giggle all the time. Or I'm sobbing. I'm sobbing.

Jen Zabrowski (46:44)

Oh, I've never woken up.

Heather McMahon (46:46)

I gotta see A I gotta see a preacher or some sort of exorcist about that.

Jen Zabrowski (46:51)

I woke up laughing and it was something me and you were laughing in a dream and it woke me up and I' this is a good sign.

Heather McMahon (46:59)

This is a good sign.

Jen Zabrowski (47:00)

Last night it was something about like we were in Paris.

Heather McMahon (47:04)

Oh, well.

Jen Zabrowski (47:04)

And it was something like, should we go buy a bag? And you were like, yes, we should. And then we were laughing about something and woke up laughing.

Heather McMahon (47:12)

Well, I tried to buy a bag today. I did. I always buy myself a little treat in Vegas, but I was so focused on buying the, you know, stilettos, pumps in the club. Yeah. That I was not focusing on the bags. That's another thing. If the Vegas stores would stay open, if like Fendi would open for me at 12:30 when I'm. When I'm off the clock.

Jen Zabrowski (47:31)

You would drop? Yes, I would drop, actually. I wonder why they don't. The stores aren't open then.

Heather McMahon (47:38)

No, they're not open late.

Jen Zabrowski (47:39)

Wow.

Heather McMahon (47:40)

Everything else is open late.

Jen Zabrowski (47:41)

I'm learning all these things about Vegas. My sister and my brother in law love Vegas and it kills them that I live so close and I don't come here more often.

Heather McMahon (47:50)

But once you figure it out, that's the thing. It takes a couple times to figure it out. You got to stay at the right place. Once you get the dinner reservations, we always kind of fly in here, do the show, and like tomorrow I have to fly to Jacksonville, Florida. I've got a nine hour travel day, so I don't always get to like be present and enjoy it. And it was so nice coming in last night and we had dinner with all of our friends and I'm sitting there meeting some love that people are coming to the show and I'm getting a massage and I'm drinking my MC Ultras and the. I'm getting to run into so many, like, fun people. And I lost like $300 at roulette. It was just a blast. Like when you get to do it right, man, I. I see the addiction to Vegas. I'm dying to go to the Sphere. But I'll tell you who I wanted. The Sphere. I want the Spice Girls at the Sphere. All right. I'm rocking my Spice Girls T shirt. Oh, yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (48:35)

Yes.

Heather McMahon (48:36)

That's a perfect spice up your life at the Sphere.

Jen Zabrowski (48:39)

Well, Backstreet Boys is coming. Not the same. Not the same as Spice Girls.

Heather McMahon (48:44)

Still good.

Jen Zabrowski (48:45)

Very good.

Heather McMahon (48:45)

Still very good.

Jen Zabrowski (48:46)

I was talking to my Uber driver on the way here and he was like, I don't know, he's like, in the Backstreet Boys, like, really play the sphere. And I was like, listen. Yeah. I was like, I know, because after going on the road with you, I know the women.

Heather McMahon (49:03)

Yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (49:04)

Would show up for the Backstreet Boys, and they're the ones that have the time and the money to go to the Sphere.

Heather McMahon (49:11)

To go to the Sphere. The women that were shopping today, like, ladies, be shopping. Everybody that I ran to a brunch this morning, all of. All of them had bought back. You know what I mean? They would come back. They flew to come see me. They're coming to the Sphere. They would go to the Sphere to see the Spice Girls at the bsb.

Jen Zabrowski (49:26)

I just want to say, too, since I'm here on this platform, I fucking love your crowd.

Heather McMahon (49:34)

They're good people.

Jen Zabrowski (49:36)

They are such good people. I literally held a woman's hands in Alabama, and she was like an inch away from my face. Very, very Jen Zabrowski, circa 10, 15 years ago with an American Idol contestant. And she was just like, if you need anything, because I was with you. And she was like. And then she looked at me and she was like, I don't know how else to say this. I'm very well connected. If you need anything in Birmingham, Alabama. And I was like. I looked her up on Instagram. This woman, she's on safari walking with a lion in all her pose. She was, like, doing great work out in the world. And I was like, I. I love every single one of your fans.

Heather McMahon (50:19)

You know, I do get some shit for talking about all the things that we're doing, but for the most part, everybody else is out doing the same shit, you know? Yeah, it's on showbiz, but everybody connects to it because even if they're not like a working woman, they're out. They're taking their kids all over God's green earth. Being the best fucking moms, doing the most. We're all over stimulated. We're all doing the damn thing. But damn it, if this isn't a network of people, people who will say, we go to shows. What do you need? You're coming to our city. We got you. My friend owns a boutique hotel. We got you eight dinner reservations. Like, they're just fucking locked in. They're locked in. They get it. We're all networking together. We're just doing the damn thing.

Jen Zabrowski (50:53)

It's the. It's the most amazing group of women. Like, especially, like, the. The women. I'm just like, I just fucking love them.

Heather McMahon (51:01)

I'm excited for the cruise. The cruise is going to be crazy. And I will say though, if you're listening to this and you are in the cruise Facebook group, I just have to say this. I just said everyone's amazing. But there's, there's such a panic right now in the cruise Facebook group.

Jen Zabrowski (51:15)

What's going on?

Heather McMahon (51:16)

The gals are. And I gotta think how I want to phrase this. I have to start talking in the Facebook group. I see everything, but I don't always chime in. They're just panic. Like they're, they're all clearly type A over planners. They're just like, well, what are we doing this? They, they're so panicked about having like a second of downtime. There will not be a second of downtime on this cruise. You know what I mean? They're, they're signing up for all the activities. Well, I didn't get to do the activity. It sold out in two seconds. And I'm like, everybody calm down. Also give yourself grace. You're on vacation. That is what I've realized. The gals and the gays and the guys that come to my shows are on it. They are running shit. Whether it's in their households, at their businesses, that checks out, you know, running their mahjong team. Like, they are running shit. And I realized no one knows how to come on this cruise and relax. Sex.

Jen Zabrowski (52:00)

No. This needs to. This is your vacation.

Heather McMahon (52:03)

Chill out and let me panic.

Jen Zabrowski (52:05)

Yes. And, and you're in good hands because between Heather and Christina, like, Christina's gonna run this shit. Like, like a summer camp on steroids.

Heather McMahon (52:16)

Amen.

Jen Zabrowski (52:17)

And so there, there will be activities.

Heather McMahon (52:21)

No, there's so much that people are panicked about, like, not being able to do it all. Like, calm down. You may also be so hungover one morning that you're not going to make it to yoga. It's okay, bitches. Take a fucking chill pill.

Jen Zabrowski (52:35)

Or just go up to the walking deck. You'll see me and my sister power walking for sure. If you need something to do, I'm sure, I'm sure that will be happening.

Heather McMahon (52:44)

But that is a great life lesson because as soon as I saw a little bit of the panic in the group, I'm like, oh my God. These, these gals, like minded. They don't know even how to go on a trip. And just let me do the voodoo that I do, which is entertainment. Like, just come on the boat once you feel that fresh air in your hair and you take a deep breath and you see, you know, an island in the horizon. Just get a pina colada, the unlimited drink package, and chill the fuck out.

Jen Zabrowski (53:11)

Yeah, just chill. Just relax.

Heather McMahon (53:13)

We gotta relax. But this is a great life lesson for us because I call you panicked about all the fucking shit we're trying to do. And you know what is a good life lesson? Be present in the moment. You know, we gotta start having moments where we're just in it. We're dialed in, we're grounded, we're looking out. We're having human connection. We're going up to Glen Powell and just giving a little kiss on the cheek and just living in that, reveling in that moment.

Jen Zabrowski (53:36)

A little kiss on the cheek and say, big fan. Big fan. Proud of you. And then keep it moving.

Heather McMahon (53:45)

You know what we should absolutely not be promoting on this podcast?

Jen Zabrowski (53:47)

Kissing.

Heather McMahon (53:48)

Kissing people who have not given you consent.

Jen Zabrowski (53:52)

Maybe, just.

Heather McMahon (53:53)

Maybe one of these.

Jen Zabrowski (53:54)

But no, just like, go up and you just, like, you know, tenderly kiss on the mouth.

Heather McMahon (53:58)

Just like a little tongue to tongue.

Jen Zabrowski (54:00)

Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, but Heather, Jen told me.

Heather McMahon (54:04)

They told me. You know what I. I do miss? Nobody blows kisses anymore. That's a good one. I mean, remember when you were in, like, high school and somebody blew. Why does no one blow a kiss kiss? I mean, that may have ended with COVID God.

Jen Zabrowski (54:19)

Yeah. Blow a kiss and then you catch it.

Heather McMahon (54:21)

Yeah, that is romantic. That's flirty in a way to me, that's not aggressive or threatening.

Jen Zabrowski (54:29)

Yeah, you could just. Yeah. Start blowing kisses.

Heather McMahon (54:31)

Start blowing kisses, baby.

Jen Zabrowski (54:32)

That's not creepy at all. That's.

Heather McMahon (54:35)

Just.

Jen Zabrowski (54:35)

Go for it.

Heather McMahon (54:37)

I'm pretty sure the last time somebody blew me a kiss was like, when I was strutting my up, up, like, Second Avenue in New York, and some cabbie, cabbie just like, says, like, hey, big tits. And then blows a kiss. I miss those days.

Jen Zabrowski (54:48)

Wait, you know what? In Steph To Love's taping in the first show, someone blew her a kiss, and she was like, did you just fucking blow a kiss at me? And she's like, did you just blow a kiss? And then the wife goes, he does it all the time. And she's like, he just blows kisses to everybody. And she was like, yeah.

Heather McMahon (55:08)

Kind of love it, though.

Jen Zabrowski (55:09)

Kind of love whoever that guy is in Boston. There's some guy in Boston who blows kisses to people. So he. He's on top of it. He's on top.

Heather McMahon (55:18)

I mean, if I'm, like, at a restaurant in the back, waiter, just, you know, I catch him out of the corner of my eye and it's just a quick little kiss bone. There's so many fun ways you can receive it. You can catch it, you know, I mean, you can reject it.

Jen Zabrowski (55:29)

Oh my God. Yeah.

Heather McMahon (55:32)

Get that kiss out of here. There's a lot of ways to react to that. I just think it's very. It's a very versatile Greek reading without being threatening and without touching somebody physically.

Jen Zabrowski (55:42)

Now, Heather, what are you most excited about for the cruise?

Heather McMahon (55:48)

I feel like it is truly going to feel like summer camp. It is. And I said this before a couple weeks ago, like I'm also. I'm excited to live in the moment. I'm excited to meet everybody. I'm excited to see everybody. I obviously love to entertain. I want people to come and just have the best time ever. And that's why I don't want people to be panicked about like filling every second. There is going to be something at every second, like quit trying to over plan yourself and just come and enjoy and also live in the moment. But I'm also excited for the download afterwards. That's my favorite part.

Jen Zabrowski (56:19)

The best.

Heather McMahon (56:20)

The best. You know how many characters are going to be on this ship? Not even just like entertainers. You know how many people are going to come with like their mom, their stepmom, you know, their mother stories. The stories.

Jen Zabrowski (56:30)

And like at a wedding, my. I love going to weddings and hearing about the friendships that are made, the, the hookups that happen. Yeah, like all that. Like the fights that happen, the this, that, but the unexpected pairing of people because it happens no matter what. And I can't wait. That's the thing I'm excited for on this cruise.

Heather McMahon (56:56)

I fully agree with you. It's like the lesbian couple. Remember the great malesian Melissa from Huntsville? I'm excited to see who she and her wife, who they're going to be besties with on the cruise.

Jen Zabrowski (57:06)

Like I want to know, will it be my sister?

Heather McMahon (57:08)

Will it be you and your sister? That's what I want to say. I totally agree with you. Making vacation friends is the greatest thing on the planet.

Jen Zabrowski (57:15)

It is the best. So I'm going on the cruise with my sister Jessica and that's right, our parents named us Jessica and Jennifer. Very 80s of them, the same name. And Jill Bream, who suggested this blazer and these barrel jeans, designed Heather's amazing outfit for breadwinner next week. She. And so she's also coming.

Heather McMahon (57:40)

We got.

Jen Zabrowski (57:40)

Can we, can we get her a slot to be one of the judges

Heather McMahon (57:43)

for the, one of the contests?

Jen Zabrowski (57:44)

Yeah, yeah. Costume contest. Yeah.

Heather McMahon (57:46)

Of Course, I'm gonna see Jill next week. She's gonna rip me a new and probably drop off Barrel jeans at my hotel. And I'll be like, jill, I can't help.

Jen Zabrowski (57:53)

No, she'll respect. She. She. That's the thing about Jill. She won't put you in something that's not right for you.

Heather McMahon (57:58)

Jill's great, too, because when we were working for the special, and I was just like, Jill, you know, she was sending me all this great stuff, and I was like, jill, as somebody who has lived in this skin for 37 years, I know what's going to work. While I love this. And she got it right away. I was like, honey, I can't wear anything with a drop waist.

Jen Zabrowski (58:15)

This has got.

Heather McMahon (58:16)

I have no waist. I am. I'm like an apple on two toothpaste pics. And she still got it.

Jen Zabrowski (58:21)

She got it. And then still, she'll still text message me with, like, a photo of you on, like, a red carpet or something. And she'll be like, I just want to point out, don't you see Heather's waistline? She does have a waist, which is right. It's true. It's true. But no, she knows how to dress people. Once she hears something, once she's like, got it. Yeah. Well, I can't wait for the cruise. I'm really excited about it, and you

Heather McMahon (58:44)

have always been in my life, but, you know, and we've worked together for so long, but I think you coming on the road now and seeing the ins and outs, the day to day, and then also with the cruise, it's going to be a whole nother level. Like, you are in it. You are. You are dialed in. You have taken the oath. You've been branded.

Jen Zabrowski (59:00)

I've. Yeah, I've given you my blood for sure. But what's great is that. So, like, I'm going on the cruise, like, as a patron, as a. As. As for fun. Like, I don't have a. I don't have a job.

Heather McMahon (59:12)

No.

Jen Zabrowski (59:13)

And I was talking to Ray about this, and Ray was like, you know, I'm going to be working, so, like, I need to be on point. And I was like, this is going to be like a. Like a life swap. Because I was like, you're just. Everybody's gonna be like, Jen's, like, drunk all the time, and Jen's, like, in a sarong that's, like half off and, like, just, like, walksy out. I. I'm gonna be. I'm on vacation.

Heather McMahon (59:36)

Left on vacation, came back on probation and that's all you need to know there. What else do we have on the agenda? We're taking our show out. We gotta start wheeling and dealing in a couple weeks.

Jen Zabrowski (59:46)

We're gonna start wheeling and dealing. We? Yeah, we're gonna.

Heather McMahon (59:50)

And you're.

Jen Zabrowski (59:51)

We're taking this show out. I really, I'm really excited about this one. Here's the thing. Yeah, here's the thing. They, they, they.

Heather McMahon (60:00)

They're not like us.

Jen Zabrowski (60:00)

They're not like us. They make us feel like they get us all excited. And you, and you, you and you get all excited, and you're like, we're gonna make this thing. And then they're like, no, they're like, but how about you make this thing?

Heather McMahon (60:12)

And you're like, that wasn't my thing.

Jen Zabrowski (60:14)

You're like, I don't, I, I, I don't want to do that thing. And then you're like, okay. And then you start talking about and you get excited, and you're like, no, that's funny. That's funny. That's fun.

Heather McMahon (60:22)

We wanted, we wanted to make that thing. I'm glad that they suggested that we made that thing, that we didn't want

Jen Zabrowski (60:26)

the thing because we thought it was that thing, but it's actually this thing. And then they're like, we don't want this thing. And then, and then you're like, oh. And then you're like, I'll never get hard again. Like, I can't. I can't do it. And then it's like in the Godfather, just when you think you're out, they pull you back in. And then we have this one. And this is my favorite.

Heather McMahon (60:50)

This is my favorite. It's not about me. It's not my story. I am playing a character. I'm gonna have a crunchy wig on. I get to smoke menthols on camera. I get to drive like, IKEA soul. Like, this is my dream character. And I think it's going. I have a good feeling, Jennifer, that this is going all the way.

Jen Zabrowski (61:08)

Way.

Heather McMahon (61:09)

I love it, truly being in this business. That was a great analogy that you use. But being in this business is like getting blue balled all the time. You know, you're a guy, you stuck it in, and you're never going to finish. We want to come so hard on this next project. We want to be on set, on location. I want to be in a wig. I want to get a face tattoo if that the character calls for it. Like, whatever it is. We're about to become so immersive. Oh, my God.

Jen Zabrowski (61:35)

And let me tell you something. Thing. How Heather and I would be in charge of a television show. I mean, we're talking, okay? We're talking professional. Professional also. I mean, we have. We have our. Our nurse practitioner come to set to inject us with Botox on our lunch break, okay?

Heather McMahon (61:54)

We're talking vitamin C drips.

Jen Zabrowski (61:56)

Oh, we got the vitamin C drips in a D when they call, you know, for the martini shot, which is like the last shot of, like, the project, you know, of the day.

Heather McMahon (62:05)

That's what's coming out on a platter.

Jen Zabrowski (62:07)

Actual Martin, please. Okay? We're fun.

Heather McMahon (62:11)

We're fun Hollywood. We are so fun. We are so nice.

Jen Zabrowski (62:16)

We are so positive, okay? And we will make sure that everyone asks for consent. We won't. We'll blow kisses.

Heather McMahon (62:25)

We will only blow kisses to the craft service folks, okay? Safety blow kisses.

Jen Zabrowski (62:33)

We would have such a good time. And we. What? We're working with amazing people on this. And I just think that this is a show for your. For your fans, too. Like, it's just seeing how. How your fans live their lives, the kinds of people that they are, like, this is a show for them where they can, like, just laugh. They can fold their laundry, and they can. But you. Who am I kidding? Your fans aren't folding their laundry. They're bad bitches. Someone folds their laundry for them. I apologize. I apologize.

Heather McMahon (63:07)

I actually like to fold laundry. It's very soothing for me.

Jen Zabrowski (63:10)

I hate folding laundry.

Heather McMahon (63:11)

I don't like to iron, but I love to fold laundry. It's. But it is actually where I just shut down and I don't have to talk. Folding laundry is fantastic. But ironing. I am so bad at ironing. I could do a decent steam, but I am bad at ironing.

Jen Zabrowski (63:24)

I don't know why I'm good at ironing. I think it was, like, my cat, Catholic school, like, upbringing. Although I had an. Okay. I'm from a super small town in upstate New York. I don't think you know this. This character from my town. So my. My town is filled with characters, okay? My mom, My dad. My dad was a podiatrist, a foot doctor. He was the foot doctor in town. And my mom was like, it's the 80s. Okay? So my mom, stay at home. Mom always in, like, you know, fur coats and, like, just. She had, like, a cleaning lady seven days a week or five. Five days a week. I think it was five days a week. Week. We also had an ironing lady.

Heather McMahon (64:02)

A laundress is what they're called.

Jen Zabrowski (64:04)

Okay.

Heather McMahon (64:04)

Like, you know, the.

Jen Zabrowski (64:05)

The.

Heather McMahon (64:05)

The famous. Yes. Laundry detergent called the Laundress. That is because people used. That used to be a job. I think it still is. Just somebody to come do the laundry.

Jen Zabrowski (64:13)

So we had this little lady named Mrs. Who.

Heather McMahon (64:16)

Hell, yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (64:17)

And she lived up in this, like, walk up, and she just was the town's ironing lady, and she ironed all the doctors, like, shirts and, like. And all our school shirts and everything. And we'd have to go up sometimes to pick up the ironing. Mrs. Who's had one glass eye.

Heather McMahon (64:36)

Hell, yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (64:37)

And she would be like, Mrs. Who's. And she had one glass tie. And I just. I always think of Mrs. Who's every time I do the rest in peace.

Heather McMahon (64:45)

Mrs. Who.

Jen Zabrowski (64:45)

Mrs. Who's is definitely, definitely dead. We also had a tailor named Dario, and he was Italian, and. And he called all of his clients on dirt, like, right before Christmas. And whoever answered the phone, that's who got the Dario Christmas call. So it was always this thing, like, who answered the phone when Dario called? Because it was before. Like, you could see the call or, like, who was calling, and you would go like, hello? And he'd be like, hello, is this a Zabowski residence? And you'd be like, yes. I'm like, this is Dario. I just wanted to say a Merry Christmas. And you'd be like, merry Christmas, Dario. And then you'd hang up the phone and be like, I got the call. Dario call. And Dario taught me one of life's most important lessons. Heather.

Heather McMahon (65:23)

Which is what?

Jen Zabrowski (65:24)

Linen. Every time he'd go to hem something that was linen. Linen. Wrinkle a. Like a hell.

Heather McMahon (65:32)

Wrinkle like a hell. Which I have said many times on this podcast. Everyone's trying to put me in linen. I love linen. It's cool, it's comfortable. It's a natural fiber fabric. And you know what it does? It wrinkles like hell.

Jen Zabrowski (65:43)

Wrinkle it like a hell.

Heather McMahon (65:45)

Wrinkle it like a hell. We all need a Dario. Oh, my God. This is who's. We all need that support in our life to remind us that. That you can wrinkle like hell. Life is short.

Jen Zabrowski (65:57)

Life is short. And also get some help.

Heather McMahon (66:00)

Get some help.

Jen Zabrowski (66:01)

If you can pay people to do. You don't want to do. Outsource that.

Heather McMahon (66:05)

Outsource it. Whether it is stuff at your home, whether it is things at work. Outsource that somebody in your network of people knows somebody who can do the damn job. And we talk about this all the time. And I'm talking about this in the new hour. As women, we try to do everything on our own, and we get frustrated and we never relinquish, you know, the help to anybody. Or it's like, do. I'll just do it myself. I'll just do it myself. Well, because we keep saying we'll just do it ourselves. That's why we're burnt out, and that is why we lose our minds and we snap on our friends and we snap on our husbands and we snap on our people. It's not. We're not just talking about things around the house. It's anything, anything, anything. And I don't even let. We got out of the hotel and the. The bellman's trying to help me. And I'm like, I. I'm a woman in America. I can grab my bags. No, my leg is currently numb. I. I have. My sciatica is so bad right now. You know what I. I said? In the words of Mel Robbins, let them.

Jen Zabrowski (66:57)

Let them.

Heather McMahon (66:57)

That is their job. Let them, let them, let them. There's a great scene from Curb youb Enthusiasm where Larry David has a woman driver show up. And she's like, I gotta have. Can I take your bag? And he's like, no, you're a woman. I can't have you carry my bag. She's like, this is my job, sir. Please let me have the bag. And he's like, absolutely not. And so he calls the. He calls the valet company. He's like, can you please not send this woman? And they're like, did you have a problem with her? And he's like, no, I just feel bad because she insists on carrying my bags. And I don't want to be. Seem like I'm a rude man letting this woman carry my bags. And then Seth Rogen, who's your buddy, is in the episode where finally Larry David lets this woman carry his bags. And Seth Rogen's like, you're such a dick, Larry. Why the. Would you let this woman carry your bags?

Jen Zabrowski (67:46)

Later in that episode?

Heather McMahon (67:47)

He's in that episode, and he's like, God, Larry, you're such a piece of. And Larry's like, she wanted to carry the bags,

Jen Zabrowski (67:56)

but that's.

Heather McMahon (67:56)

That's a good reminder. Let them.

Jen Zabrowski (67:58)

We have to let people do stuff

Heather McMahon (68:00)

for us because, like, one, they're getting financially compensated.

Jen Zabrowski (68:05)

Yes. Yes. We can't do everything. We can't be everywhere, everywhere doing all the things. I mean, I watch my sister. I don't have kids. And I'm like, you know, I was in the shower, letting the water run over me. Last night, all I had to do was go to a movie with my husband on Valentine's Day. And I was so anxious. I was like, like, it's a movie. You're gonna enjoy yourself. All you have to do is get in the car and go to the movie. But I was like, there's so many other things I should be doing. Yeah. And it's just like, it's too much. We gotta find time to relax. We gotta ask for help.

Heather McMahon (68:43)

We gotta stop wearing barrel jeans and quit touching giant mega movie stars faces. But you can blow kids kisses. You can support one another. You can wear a crinkle textured leather jacket. You can, you know, slow down preparing for the cruise. You can. What else can we do?

Jen Zabrowski (69:07)

We can wear sunglasses to cover the fact that we're not wearing eye makeup.

Heather McMahon (69:14)

And we can also force our friends to be in our lives and. And show up. Show up. Show up.

Jen Zabrowski (69:22)

Yep.

Heather McMahon (69:22)

Let them show up.

Jen Zabrowski (69:24)

Let them show up.

Heather McMahon (69:25)

Yes. Tonight I am going. We have, we have probably what, like six hours until showtime. I really. Cause Vegas is such a whirlwind. But I want to have so much fun tonight. And I'm going to take a line from the incredible special that you directed. Breadwinner. Be present and be pleasant. I need to start. I preached this. This is on Hulu. You directed this. This, you helped edit it. And I'm not even living the life that I preached. I want to be present and pleasant.

Jen Zabrowski (69:51)

No, we got to be present and pleasant. I mean, Heather, no, you, you do that. But you show up tonight and you have a good time. You always have a good time. Once those lights hit, you show pony.

Heather McMahon (70:02)

As soon as I say good night Las Vegas, Jen will have her laptop with no like you up the whole show. Oh, you call that crowd work, you dumb bitch.

Jen Zabrowski (70:10)

And then Heather's like, where the is your nice little voice? When I first met you, Jennifer, where

Heather McMahon (70:16)

can everybody find you? And if you're a comic listening, because we have a ton of, you know, comics for fans of the show. You are out there directing specials. You're writing TV shows. You wrote for a commercial I just shot.

Jen Zabrowski (70:26)

Yes.

Heather McMahon (70:27)

I mean, you're really doing so much. I'm so proud of you. But where can everybody find you? And what is on your vision board? Cause you know that is a big thing here at. Absolutely not. What is on your vision board for the next year?

Jen Zabrowski (70:35)

Okay, so you can find me on Instagram, Jennifer Zaborowski, which is just like my dog and my husband. It's just, like, nice. On the road with Heather Travels.

Heather McMahon (70:48)

Aesthetically pleasing.

Jen Zabrowski (70:50)

And sometimes my boobs, you know, cleavage picks. But for what's on my vision board, I mean, I love. I love directing, and I love making their vision come to life. And I always wanted to, like, secretly, it was like a secret, secret, like, dream passion was to be, like, the artistic director of, like, a Britney Spears tour.

Heather McMahon (71:14)

Yeah.

Jen Zabrowski (71:15)

Honestly, like, that was, like, my dream. Like, it would just, like, hype me up so much. And I was like, what does that mean? Like, do I want to, like, write a Broadway musical or whatever? And then when I started working with you and directing your specials, I was like, it's just making, like, one tiny idea, like, totally come to life. And so I just want to be directing. I want to be directing more specials. Working with standup comedians is just, like, it's just so fun. It's such a blast. Obviously, working with you and Steph to Lev. And I hope, knock on wood, it's like, one or two others that are coming up. So I want to be directing other specials, and I want to be directing also, like, narrative stuff this year. So either I hope it'll be episodes of our television show.

Heather McMahon (71:59)

It's going to happen.

Jen Zabrowski (72:00)

A feature of a movie that we make together and just continue to be making, like, fun stuff with. With people. So that's what I. I want to be doing and just being open to whatever happens. Like, I. I didn't think I would act again, and then I did, like, a. A tiny thing in a show that's coming out in, I think, like, in a month. And so that was really fun to do that. So I just want to be open to just, like, making and creating and working with really fun people.

Heather McMahon (72:30)

You know what? That's what I love to hear. And we're going to do that. We're going to continue to do that. Say a prayer that our show gets picked up, please. We will be pitching it the first week of March, and we will be anxious to hear the yes. But in. In the meantime, even when you hear a no, just know that a yes is around the corner.

Jen Zabrowski (72:45)

That's right. That's right.

Heather McMahon (72:46)

Jen, thank you for being here. Love you. Mean it. We got to get ready. We got a show to do. Can't wait to see everybody in Viva Las Vegas. And next week, I will be all over America. Now, I. I'm. If you see me in one of your cities, I'm not on tour. I'm shooting this very fun commercial that is a part of a very cool project we're giving back to local communities and get it basically get to be like a Publisher's Clearinghouse next week. It's very exciting, but I will be driving. I don't know what I can. I don't think I can say anything about this, but either way, I will be all over and then I am going to be in New York for a week for a very specific gig. I also don't think I'm allowed to say yet. Either way, if you see me out and about, say hi, I love you. I mean it. Blow a kiss, blow a kiss. Blow kisses from the window and I'll catch them and put them right in my panties. I love you. I mean it. I'll see you on the next episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast. Ciao bella. Arrivedochi. Bye. Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. Don't forget to subscribe, rate us and leave a review. And as always, follow me on Instagram at heatherkmcmahon.

Jen Zabrowski (73:50)

See you guys soon. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.