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The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most and the least at the same damn time. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. I want to start a fire. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely not podcast. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. We are back in the studio. We're here. We're back. I'm in the studio. I'm a big girl. I'm doing it all by myself. I'm turning on the lights. Lights, camera, action. She did it. How are y' all doing? I just got such a fucking pep in my step because when I leave the office today, I am getting on a plane, I am flying across the pond, and I am fulfilling a, in the words of Taylor Swift, a prophecy. I am fulfilling a destiny, a prophecy. I just need you to know that be careful what you wish for, because if you ask and you believe you can actually receive and achieve, I think I'm able to say it now. This weekend, I am flying to London because the one and only Armando, aka Pitbull, Mr. Worldwide, Mr. 305, has invited me to come be a part of the Guinness Book of World Records, where we are going to have the most amount of people in bald capsules in Hyde park in London than ever before in the history of time, in the history of the world. Mr. Worldwide is setting a worldwide record and I'm a part of it. And I can't believe it. You know, when I started dressing in drag as Armando, aka Mr. Worldwide, aka Mr. 305, aka the King of the World, about 10 years ago, I started dressing up as him just to honestly make my friends kids giggle and to make myself giggle. And I was also unemployed and had a lot of time on my hands, so there was that. But I used to dress up as him and then it took off and, you know, and I've been doing his character for a really long time. And my last two tours ago, I used to open as him and had a whole video about him. I just. I've always loved Pitbull. Right behind this camera here in my podcast studio, I have a flag that's Pitbull. Affirmations. You know, I lost a lot and learned a lot, but I'm still undefeated. Every day above ground is a good day. Remember that took my life from negative to positive. And I think one of the reasons why I connect with him so much is because I dressed up as him to really make myself laugh. But I didn't realize that actually tapping in and truly stepping into his shoes and morphing into him, manifested my entire life. Wow. I just figured that the fuck out. Like, I'm always being sarcastic on this podcast. Everything, you know, has a deep undertone of bullshit. But I'm not even kidding you. It was 10 years ago that I had just lost my dad. I moved home to Atlanta. I was living in my mom's house, truly pulling quarters out of the couch to go to Chipotle, thinking, my career's over. I've left la. I was just getting started. What am I gonna do with my life? And I started dressing in. In drag as Pitbull because it made me laugh so hard. Cause I was like, who is this creature, this character? But when you actually physically listen to positive things in your life, I. E. All of the lyrics from Pitbull, you don't realize you're setting the tone. You're jumping the matrix onto the right frequency. It's forced positivity. You know when they say, when you're sad, just fucking smile. Just force yourself to smile. And we're smiling, and we're smiling. And look at what I did. I took my life from a negative to a positive. And I just need y' all to know that. So what is gonna happen on Saturday? I'm gonna be a part of a live stream from Hyde Park. I'm gonna be in full pit bull drag. Hopefully the makeup artist is secured, and I will be interviewing other people in their bald caps. All of that jazz. It's gonna be insane. So I'm so honored, and let me tell you how this all went down. A couple weeks ago, I get a text message from Armando himself, and he's like, heather, you know, I've been watching everything you've been doing over the years. I would be honored to have you be a part of this. And at first I'm like, I knew the text was coming because he and I have, like, low key, like, on the side. You know, we're watching each other. But to have him reach out to me was very funny and very cool. So I'm hoping. I think I'm gonna get to meet him this weekend. That's they say. I mean, I'm not going to stand in Hyde park and 10 hours of full prosthetics not to meet the man, the Myth, the legend, Mr. Worldwide. But he's like, dude, I'm, you know, grateful. It would be honored to have you be a part of this. And, you know, it is nice. It is nice to know that I am a bit of a trendsetter. Because I did. I will. I. That is something. I will fall on that sword. I will die on that hill. I started that trend, that period. That is why people go to his concerts dressed up in drag as him. Because I started the Pitbull revolution 10 plus years ago. So anywho, it's exciting. I just got back from Europe. I'm gonna get into my European adventures in a moment. But now I am literally turning around, getting on a flight and flying out to London tonight to be a part of this concert that's happening in Hyde park this weekend. I mean, unreal. And there's so much happening in London that we've got Wimbledon, this, they just had Silverstone, the. The Formula one race. So it's going to be an out of control week. And I'm a little discombobulated. It's kind of insane. I probably should have just stayed in Europe, but I literally had to fly home to like get my blazer and my pants and my Gucci loafers to like transform into Pitbull. But I'm just saying, you know, I never really put it together. I always was tongue in cheek, making fun of Pitbull in a way that I just thought he was this like insanely optimistic, positive, ridiculous character who in the middle of his, while these like hot slutty dancers are shaking their tits, he's like giving you life affirmations and like honest and earnest guidance in your life. And I've been to so many of his shows, so many of his tours, and obviously the music's incredible. And even if you think you're like, oh, I don't like Pitbull. No, you know every lyric to every song. And you love him. You like, you, you love Pitbull. When Pitbull comes on, when the song Kulo comes on, Kulo, I don't care if you are nursing a child, if you are laying your grandmother to rest, if you're hanging Christmas lights, you stop immediately what you're doing. And you, Kulo, like, that's just what you do. He moves you. And you know, I'm looking at this flag behind, behind the camera. Let's stop time and enjoy this moment. You know, this is for everybody going through tough times. Believe me, Been there, done that. But every day above ground is a good day. Remember that. And I think sometimes we do things and we don't even think about it. And I didn't realize at that time 10 years ago when I was deep, deep in the. The depths of grief, I didn't realize how going full drag and forcing positivity on myself and the people around me actually kind of set my life in a positive motion. So I have a deep connection to the man, the Myth, the legend, Mr. Worldwide, and I'm very excited to meet him. So I'm going to put some information up on Instagram and TikTok and all that, and we're going to be vlogging the whole thing. So you guys are going to have to follow along because it is going to be a fucking adventure. I am so excited. I can't wait to just give a little. Little kiss on that bald head. But I wanted to go ahead and tee y' all up for what I was doing this weekend, so. So you could tune along, tune in and tune to, you know, just be a part of it. I mean, there's going to be tens of thousands of people in bald caps, and I'm just so honored and happy to be a part of it and can't believe that we, you know, we started this journey 10 years ago and here we are. So remember, be careful what you wish for. It's insane. Thin body, thin body, thin body. Low bmi. Low bmi. Stop. I want to be so thin. In shape. Ripped abs. Yes. Anywho, hard pivot. Just got back from my annual European vacation. You know, people get it. I have miles. I got points. And I go hard. I go hard for two weeks in Europe every summer. That is my time. I usually try and take off an entire month in the summer because I can. Because I. I don't. Y' all know, I. Mama works on the weekends. Mama works holidays. So when I can take some time off, I do. And Jeff and I had the most fantastic time. We. We took a trip down memory lane for our anniversary. Went to the. My. One of my favorite cities on the planet, Florence, Italy. We flew in, we did a couple days there. We saw our guys at Trattoria Perione. We saw our boy over at Cingale Bianco, all of our favorite restaurants. And I've said this before, so I don't wanna be redundant, but if you ever go to a place and you need a guy, I got the guy. Jeff and I, that is his superpower. My superpower. We will always. It doesn't matter if you need a new carburetor or you need a Florentine cigar roller, I'll find the guy and I'll connect you with the guy. And I feel so blessed that we get to go to Florence and we have our people there. You know, we've been going to Trattoria Perione for years now. And we see Gianni and Marco and everybody and they're just all insane. And I love, love these people. And we, you know, had a flourishing friendship for 10 plus years. So when I get to go there and then meet other people in the restaurant who are like, hey, I found this place. Cause your recommendation. And I know that they're supporting Gianni and Marco and the whole team there and they're having a great meal and a great experience. Man, y', all, that just tickles me. That makes me. Oh my God. I get excited. I get excited when you're having fun. I'm having fun. We're all having fun. But we, we touched down in Florence. And let me tell you right now though, goddamn Europe is getting hot. Greta Thornburg Thunberg, she was onto something. And I am from the south. I am currently in Atlanta, Georgia, where it, the humidity feels like cotton candy. I mean, you step outside and it's almost as if you like, like sucked in a piece of cotton candy and it's sitting on the back of your throat and you're trying to get air through and you know it's gonna dissolve soon. You know, when you put that cotton candy in your mouth, you're like, give it 10 seconds and it'll just be raw sugar. But that first moment you step outside of your house at 6am in Georgia, it's that thick cotton candy heat in the back of the throat. But Europe is equally catching up to us. So we stayed at this new place in Florence, the Auberge Colleggio, which was incredible. High price point. I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you, but use, you know, use those Amex points. But it was incredible. Cause it had a pool. So we could go down to Florence, like early evening, shop around, see our people, and then. And kick it. We did a boat day. Okay, we have a. We have so much to discuss. I'm so excited. Oh my God, we have so much to giggle about. We did a boat day for our anniversary. Jeff and I are. We zip around. Okay. We rent a car. We do the thing. We drove about an hour and a half north of Florence up the coast to a little town called, I think Portolote. And it's where all the big yachts are. We rented a boat for the day with the captain, whole thing. Jeff surprised me. It was so sweet. Cause he knows his water baby needs to be on the water. So we take a boat all the way up the coast into Liguria region, like Santa Margarita past Cinque Terre, and we hit Portofino, and this is our actual anniversary. I'm getting off the boat in Portofino, and I. You know, every woman knows when it drops, you feel it. You feel a little like that little pop in the pussy. And you go, God damn it, I'm bleeding. I mean, I started my period in Portofino. Who does that? I did. And it's our anniversary. I'm thinking maybe we're gonna get a little frisky on the boat, you know, after I've had about 17 glasses of Pinot grigio at lunch, and Jeff's lady in the tramp force fed me some spaghetti vongole. I'm like, ooh, we might get a little crazy. Like the captain, he's looking the other way, smoking a cigarette. I might get a little something. No, I got a heavy flow in Portofino. Heavy. So we pull up, and Portofino was. You know, it's very sexy. Dolce and Gabbana have a house there. It's very rich. It's very fancy. But I also. As soon as we pulled up, I'm like, okay, okay. You can do it by boat. I don't know if I need to stay here. This looks ultra expensive. So we roll up. I run to a pharmacy. You know, Jeff's trying to, like, buy a cigar, have a glass of wine. We're doing it sexy. And I go, I don't know how to tell you this, honey. I got a heavy flow in Portofino. I got to hit a pharmacia. So I roll into this pharmacy. I buy the most expensive tampons. I mean, this woman saw me come in and show me your moomoo caftan and said, I'm gonna price gouge you. She could see the desperation and the panic behind my eyes. And I know in Italian she was thinking a heavy flower. She started a heavy flow in a Portofino that. I always get them. Like, the pharmacist saw me. Scarlet letter across my chest, right on time. Did I start it? So I buy these tampons. I buy, you know, the Italian version of my doll. And when you're in Italy and Europe in general, buy whatever kind of pain relievers they have. Now, it's not like going to Mexico where everything has fentanyl in it. And I say that with love. Okay, I do say that with love. Like, if you go to a Mexican pharmacy, you can buy Adderall, Ozempic, and you might get a little fenty. It just that it is what it is. But the European pain relievers are a whole nother ball game. They're not gonna fuck you up, which I actually like. Cause sometimes an oxycodone gives your girl the itchies. How would I know that? I had two neck jobs. That's why. But anywho, so. So you get a really good version of the Italian painkiller. And I'm. I'm kind of like, fumbling for my Euros. I'm a mess. And I see a nice little lip gloss on the corner. I say, oh, road. That's Hailey Bieber's company would love it. Throw it in the bag. I give her my credit card. She checks me out. I don't think anything of it. I don't even look at the price. I'm just panicked. Cause I. I have a heavy flow running down my bathing suit and my show me your moomoo tunic, you know? So I get out. I get back on the boat. We've already left port, so we're. We're. We're back at sea. I can't run out there, run back to the pharmacist like, you got me good. And I look at the bill. My Receipt says, like, €150. Like, what the fuck? I bought some super tampons, a road lip gloss, and some. My doll, some Italian Midol, that y'. All. The road lip gloss. And I know this woman because I keep saying, like, chapstick. I wanted some sort of chapstick. I just grabbed it. I'm like, oh, yeah, this looks nice. It's a peptide. Lip peptide. Sure, guys. It was 58. €58. Those bad boys, those little tubes, as little lip elixirs are going for $20 at your local US Sephora. And I think that Europe does everything right. But this is where I became such a fucking patriot. I was like, this is amazing. They wouldn't do this to me in America. Maybe cash fatale isn't that bad. Like, I turned very quickly. Jeff's like, huh? Who is my wife right now? Meanwhile, I'm death gripping a Coke Zero, a European Coke Zero, eating a slice of pizza on the boat, waiting for the tampon to just soak everything up. I could not believe it. And I know the pharmacist was like, okay, woman in a fancy caftan, look of desperation. And I'm like, do you have a lip gloss, a chap, a stick? And she's like, yeah, get her. Got them. Got em. Get em. She got me. So, you know, with the conversion, I basically paid a hundred dollars for A road lip gloss. Now, I've reached out to Haley Bieber for. For at least a. For some reparations is what I have done. But at least I wanted her to know, you know, brand owner to brand owner, you need to know that the Portofino pharmacy is shaking down rich Americans left and right. It's not a good look for the road brand, because when I'm on the road and I need some road, I need to know that I'm getting a fair deal. Now, mind you, this pharmacy was sandwiched in between a poochie store, Thoreau, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's brand, and a Dolce and Gabbana. So I knew better. But also, Haley, if you see this, want to let you know they're shaking people down for the road for about 80 Euro in Portofino. Do I like the lip gloss? I love it. Would spin that again. But I just want you to know that I got taken advantage of. Imagine that Heather McMahon gets taken advantage of for being over the top and insane. So we do a boat day. We stop in this little alcove and. And, oh, my God, everybody on the beach. The grandmothers, the, you know, hot late 20s women who've got perky tits. Everybody's just topless titties floating. Everyone's happy, you know, la dolce vita. Jeff and I are just hobbling like two fat Americans in our Birkenstocks, our rubber Birkenstocks, over the rocky beach, trying to get to the little lunch spot. And I had one of the best spaghetti. Oh, my God. It was a linguini with a homemade pesto and clams. Now, something you need to know about me. Pasta vongole, which is usually just clam pasta with either spaghetti or linguine. Some sort of, like, long pasta, white wine, garlic. Delicious, simple, fantastic. It's one of my favorites. But this had pesto because when you're in the Liguria region, you have pesto. That's what they're known for. And I mean, I wanted to get four or five bowls. And it's our anniversary, so Jeff knows one. Not only am I hormonal, because I just started my period. I'm starving. I could eat the ass of an elephant. We're on a little cliffside. I'm looking down. Seeing all the Italian nonnas with their tits out like this is peak happiness for me. There's a mixture of body positivity. I'm a little sunburned. It's our anniversary. I'm emotional. Cause I got a heavy flow. I'm also emotional. Cause I just got taken advantage of in Portofino and Jeff is spoon feeding me pesto and clams. I'm drinking a carafe of white wine and I just had an ahi tuna that would blow your tits off. I mean, I am peak. This is peak happiness for Heather. I also am going to have a Coke Zero with a lemon in it, two espressos afterwards, and about eight limoncellos for lunch. And then you know what I do after that? I crawl my fat ass back across the rocks, have my private boat pick me up, and then I'm jumping in the Ligurian Sea. All you need to know about me is that's a perfect afternoon. Tits out, pesto in limoncello, down the gullet, dipping in the ocean. And I told my husband we have a pack. If he gets terminally ill, I'm taking him to Pasa La Aqua in Lake Como. We'll probably only he helped to die quickly though, because we'll only be able to afford like two nights there. Got very expensive. Since the first time we went, we were like the first people to ever stay at this insane hotel. We got like an insane rate. And my travel advisor, Whitney was like, no, no, no, you want to stay here. Trust me, like Whitney, there's not even photos of this place online. She goes, just trust me. And now it's the number one hotel in the world. So we will not be asked back to that place. I love to live, laugh, love and kick my feet up. And we need to talk about Resort Pass because we feel like we've unlocked something pretty big here. You know, everyone's always talking about, oh, how it feels to give yourself like permission to rest. And we're doing too much to try and earn it. Well, listen, this year we're changing that and Resort Pass is making it easy for us actually to kick our feet up and take time for rest when we need it. So here's the concept. Resort Pass gives you access to luxury hotels, pools, spas and cabanas for the day. You don't have to do an overnight stay. Okay. There's no membership. You just book it and then passes started. Just $25 and then your poolside for the day. That is genuinely the whole thing. No more needing to book an overnight stay or having to go out to a loud day party just to enjoy a pool with a great view. This makes taking a much needed and let me say something, a well deserved break so incredibly easy. I'm honestly thinking about all the ways I can use it this summer, like bopping around to all the fabulous spots in Atlanta and also as I travel a little bit, like going to other places and just being able to use the resort for the day, the spa for the day, go and enjoy the pool where you don't have to make this like huge financial commitment of getting a hotel room and doing all this other shit. It is fricking awesome. And it's all made available through Resort Pass. So if you want to work directly with Resort Pass, they work directly with over 2500 hotels and resorts to provide you with the same luxury hospitality that you'd experience as an overnight guest. All you have to do is go to resortpass.com Absolutely. And use code Absolutely for $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. Resortpass.com Absolutely. Code Absolutely. Resort Pass. The day is yours. This episode of the podcast is sponsored by RO. If you have been on a GLP1 or you're wanting to try GLP1, you can get GLP1s on RO. Yep, that's right on RO. And I love RO because it is an affiliated healthcare provider. Okay. And before being prescribed medication, patients are going to complete an online medical visit, lab tests if needed, and qualify for medication based on their bmi, lab results, medical history, and the discretion of a ROE affiliated healthcare provider. And that's what we love. Also, the Insurance Checker is Ro's free tool to help patients check which GLP1 medications are are covered by their insurance. A few days after submitting their insurance information, a patient will receive a report that tells them which medications are covered and whether or not a prior authorization will be required. RO is just fricking awesome. It's. You know, GLP1 medications have been a game changer for me and I know that a lot of people, there's a lot of misinformation out there like where to get it if you're insured, if it's covered, if it's not. I knew a girl that was literally buying GLP1s from like a, a T ball coach in Arizona. I said that seems sketchy. The only thing you need to do is check out ro. Ok? And RO is just, RO wants to help people lose weight and that's why they have the lowest cost options out there. Whether you're paying with Insurance or cash, RO has it for you. Go to RO CO AbsolutelyNot to see if you qualify. That's RO CO AbsolutelyNot to see if YOU qualify on RO. Again, go to RO CO Safety for box warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications. But in order to check it out, go to ro co absoluteenot to see if you qualify. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. 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Squarespace just makes your life easier. I don't know why people have not picked up on this. I use Squarespace because it truly is such a freaking game changer. And that is why I've worked with them for, I don't know, consistently seven years. Now they're just next level. All you have to do is head to squarespace.com absolutely for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's an incredible deal. Again, you're going to head to squarespace.com absolutely for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use code absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace work smarter, not harder. Squarespace.com is here for you. But that's our pact. I have to take Jeff to Lake Como and rent a lakeside villa at Pasa La Aqua and spend our last $14 putting him to rest. And he said when he starts coughing really hard, I just kind of push him in the lake and let him go. I said I can do that. And for me it's Oceanside. For me it's, I wanna have a last meal at one of those little alcove spots that you can only get there by boat and I wanna be spoon fed linguine and clams and pesto, have 16 gallons of just some no name brand White wine. I wanna have a limoncello. I wanna smoke a cigarette. And then I want you to just put bricks on my feet and throw me in the ocean. And I want all the topless Italian women on the shore to be like, it's amore. Like, I just want them to be like, mamma mia, we gonna miss you. Bye. Bye. That's all I want. And actually this little alcove where we went to this little tiny restaurant that was one of the best meals ever. And it was, like, insanely cheap and delicious, and everything's fabulous. They have almost, like Christ the redeemer, you know, the giant statue, one of the seven wonders of the world. That's in Brazil. They have one of those. But in the ocean. Got a little spooked by it. Not gonna lie. And so then we dove down and we were snorkeling. And, you know, we're with some other people and they're all snorkeling. We're seeing, like, Jesus is looking up at me. So that is probably actually where I would like to be dropped off. Mm. God, I'm having a lot of epiphanies today. Probably there. Tie bricks to my feet, push me over the boat, let everybody on this little rocky shore with their tits out be like, she was so fun. Now we love her. She was the best. Ate so much. And then you can just lower me down and I'll float down into Jesus's arms. It's literally Jesus with his hands out, looking up and, like, a school of fish around. And you just let me. And I will fall into one of Jesus giant palms. And I'll go, and I'll go. Let me go. Just let me go. So that's what I was doing. And then we flew to Paris, and we went down to about two hours south of Paris to this place called Laborde, our friend Brent. And y', all, I'm sure you know my friend Angelique. Brent and Angelique are married. They. We are the godparents to one of their children. Love their kids. They are family to us. We love and adore them. He's got this cool, exciting gig at the board. He's running this golf membership. So Jeff went down there to play in this really cool golf tournament. So Jeff is in his element. We are in the woods. Angelique and I are drinking. We're meeting some of the other wives. They're all playing in this, like, good old boys, member guest extravaganza at this French. We're in the woods. I need you to know, though, for, like, four days I was in the woods in the Loire Valley, drinking fabulous wine, smoking cigarettes, hanging out with other people, just kind of talking and having a good time. And it was amazing. We met some wonderful people at this resort, and it's going to be really cool. Like, they're connecting one of our favorite hotels called the Six Senses to this resort. If you're. I'm just going to do my. My 30 second pitch. If you're looking for a great European real estate investment, I would look at laborde. I would look at the board in the Six Senses. Well, this is where I met Flo. Okay, now let me tell you about Flow, because some of y' all were following along on Instagram. You're like, heather, where are you? You're at a golf course in the middle of the woods. I was like, trust me, baby. I know exactly. I'm right where I want to be. So while Jeff's off playing golf, we get to meet this guy named Flo. Now, Flo is taken. He has a girlfriend. So I. I hate to tell you, I. The. The amount of gay men and women that reached out to me and said, hi, can I get his number? I'm. I said he very aggressively, as I was trying to put through his hair, was like, hey, Heather, I am taken. One of the nicest gentlemen I've ever met. But he's like six. Six played tennis, and he runs the real estate for the new. I believe the new Six Senses that's going at this place in the Lower Valley. And. And here's what I've noticed about him. And I don't know if he also watched off campus. That didn't really fully translate, but he was asking, like, this young man, I think he's probably. I think he was like, 26, looked me in my eyes and was like, how are you? Like, ask the question, how are you? You know when the last time I was asked how am I Was by, I don't know, my gynecologist, as he was scraping cells off my cervix to see if they were abnormal. That's the last time a man looked me in the eyes and said, how are you? And my husband is very in tune with my emotional instability and is my rock and my buddy. But this young man, who was very tall, looked me in the eyes and was like, heather, I've heard so much about you. How are you? And I was like, I'm so good, Flo. I am really good. And we basically spent four days while the guys played golf just sitting around a table. It was like all the wives just sitting there with our little hands, our little chins resting on our little. Our little hands going, tell us more. And he was such a gentleman and obviously fantastic at his job. But it was one of those weekends where I didn't even know Jeff was in the woods. Jeff could have been blowing other dudes at this golf tournament. I didn't care. I was just looking into the eyes of Florian and the way he talked about his girlfriend was so wonderful. He was showing us pictures and we're like, God, she's so fucking hot, you know? I was like, she's so hot. I mean, made Alex Earle look fat and poor. And that's how hot this girl is. And if you can imagine, if you can imagine how hot you gotta be to make Alex Earle, who is the hottest person on the planet, look fat and poor, that's what I'm talking about. And I'm not here body shaming. I'm just saying that's how hot this girl was. And I was like, oh, okay. You know, oh, okay. Yeah, we saw the girlfriend and we all, we all looked at each other. We go, yeah, that checks out. So it was a bunch of like horny wives hanging out with the head of real estate at this club all weekend. Just gazing into his eyes as he asked us really thoughtful, considerate, personal questions about how we were doing emotionally. And that's what I did for four days in the Loire Valley. And I will say that is why I had one of the worst hangovers of my life. Not him. It was that one day we, you know, it finally, the heat was so hot. And then it finally broke. And we had like three of the most perfect days in France. It went from 110 degrees, no one has air conditioning to then it was 75 degrees. There's a nice breeze. And the Lord was kissing your lips. Like, it got very. It was a hard pivot. So we sat outside and I started drinking at like noon. And then there was a nice reception that night for all the golfers. So I'm dressed up, fancy dress now I'm drinking champagne, looking at a real estate portfolio with my new friends. And Flo's like, you know, brushing my hair extensions. I'm like, I could live here, I could live this life. And you know, Jeff is never even threatened. That's the other problem. Jeff is the least jealous man on the planet. And I don't do it. I don't like, flirt and like. Cause he knows. He saw Florian's. He saw Florian's girlfriend. He was like, babe, I don't know how to tell you this. You are not even on the radar. Like, shut the fuck up, Jeff. I'm like, maybe he will try and date me for my money, because that would be great. But no, no, Jeff doesn't even get jealous. And then at one point, I think Jeff actually got a little. No, he wasn't even jealous. All Jeff said was he was like, you know, he stood in front of all the wives. He's like, you know the way you guys are just eating out of the palm of his hand. I'm just saying, if we ever acted this way around a woman, y' all would just. You know, the tables would turn. And I was like, shut the fuck up, Jeff. This gentleman has been asking us how we're feeling. When was the last time you asked us how we were feeling? He's like, this morning. I'm like, yes, you did, but shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. I think I'm. This. This episode's gonna be too much inside baseball, but I literally spent four days in the woods with the most beautiful man you've ever seen. I mean, unreal. And then. Let's go back to off campus. Cause I got a lot of people responding to me for that episode two weeks ago. And then I realized this. The show off campus. And I don't think I said this in the episode, but the show off campus made us like men again. Because I gotta be honest, other than my husband, I was off that dong. Anybody's dong. I would open my Instagram and see, like, you know, unproblematic people, like Tom Holland, who seems like the most lovely man on the planet. And I was like, even he's bad. No, this guy is great. Tom Holland seems like an angel, baby. But for a moment there, I think all women at the beginning of this year were just like, enough. And then off campus comes out, and we're like, oh, wow. Now, I know that these are fictional characters, but it reset my brain, recalibrated me in a way where I was like, okay, maybe I'm into guys again. Like, there were a couple female studs that were sliding into my DMs who had, like, lifted trucks. I was like, okay, I'm just gonna. Like, I'm just gonna bookmark this account. If something happens to Jeff, I'm just gonna bookmark. I've never been with a woman, but I'm bookmarking. Cause I was. I was over men. Especially after the Ryder Cup. Fuck that. I was like, everyone's gross, y'. All. Are all nasty. I hate you all. We're done. But now with off campus and then spending four days looking into this French men's eyes, I'm like, there are good men out there, and maybe, maybe they also need to be lifted up. Like, I'm really right now trying to have a three way with Garrett Graham from off campus, Flo, this guy from the middle of France, and Pitbull. Like three very positive men. One who's like a real per. Two who are real people, one who's a fictional character. But I just. That's like in my brain. That's the. That's the foursome. That's the kind of weird threesome I'm trying to get into. You know, I've somehow, in a positive way only been seeing the positive of men recently. And I've been looking at my husband. Like, the other day he put his. We were sitting on the couch in our new house, which we moved, and we're very excited about. I said, babe, turn your hat around. And he was like, okay. And he turned his baseball hat around. I was like, okay, sorry. Like, that's the level. And I said, jeff, you know, me having conversations with these other gentlemen in a completely respectful, platonic way, but just kind of getting to flirt a little bit is only benefiting you. This man in the last two weeks has had more sex than I think we've had in 15 years. And we were already pretty frisky. You know what I mean? I mean, could it. Did you catch me in the shower? Wasn't me. Like, we were. We're shaggy level of fornicating right now. And Jeff's like, what's gotten into you? And I said, well, one, I'm on vacation. Two, I think I like men. Again, like, there's been enough positive reinforcement with good men where I'm like, yeah, and now the world cup is on, and I'm watching Messi, and he's seems like a really wonderful, lovable guy. And now I'm studying all these different. These different international athletes. I'm like, there's some good men out there. You know, He's a good man, Savannah. I really feel that in my heart. Look, my. Oh, my bra's been hanging out this whole episode. My tits are out. I mean, my breasts are engorged just for fun. I don't know. I don't hate all men right now. Give it time. I will say as soon as I touched back down in America, I kind of disassociated and I really tapped out of politics. I was Like, I don't have the energy for it right now, which I know is bad, but I was like, I just don't have it. And I tapped out. And then when I tapped back in, I go, okay, we're back. But anyways, if you need to do a little cleansing and just reset your brain on straight men, I got a couple guys you can talk to just to recalibrate, recalibrate. Because I've never been a man hater, but I will shut them the fuck down as quickly as I can when I can, you know? And I'm grateful to all the men who listen to this podcast and support their brides. But if you have been feeling a shift or maybe you've listened to this and your wife or partner has not seen off campus yet, I think you sit down and you watch it with them and you might, there might be a positive shift in your household. That's all I'm saying. And also, hey, take notes. When in doubt, what would Garrett Graham do? Figure it out. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by betterhelp. Okay. Better Help is an on line therapy. Okay? And this is why I love it. Don't let the stigma stand in the way of getting support. So many people that I know who are actually like close to me are like, oh, I don't want to get a therapist. It's too much. I mean, what am I going to do? How am I going to find somebody that I want to talk to? Oh, I don't want to drive to an office. You don't have to drive to an office because Better Help truly has the help that you need. It's all Online. With over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session. Based on over 1.7 million client reviews. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct that are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A sure questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And with their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading, match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time, which is awesome. Again, don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with Better Help. Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com Absolutely. That's betterhelp.com Absolutely. Betterhelp.com Absolutely. I'm telling you, it's gonna be a game changer for you. I love talking to somebody online. I love having a therapist at my fingertips. So it doesn't matter where in the world I am, I can always chit chat with somebody and get the support that I need. Better Help's 2026 Statement of Stigma report surveyed that 2,000Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. Well, guess what? We are not gonna do that. I am telling you right now, the stigma report is out and there's no stigma behind getting help with BetterHelp. Since we just moved, we got all new pots and pans and I always shop with Caraway home. So I said, robin, I can't take these from you. You're going to keep those and I'm going to get my own set. What a great housewarming gift. What a great just gift for yourself is a gift of non toxic cookware. I love Caraway home. They have ceramic coated surface means minimal oil or butter for slide off the pan, easy eggs and easy cleaning. And caraway is so well loved. Caraway is in over 2.5 million homes and in over 155,000 people have rated five stars about their Caraway kitchen. Now it's time to try it for yourself. When I tell you I used to be the queen of like what was accessible, what was cheap, what was easy. And now I'm investing in things that are important to me and I'm telling you, non toxic cookware is so important. I love Caraway. I love their mixing bowl sets, their complete bar set, airtight glass containers is a huge game changer. 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Now, I'm not gonna say their names because your girl can keep her mouth shut, but when I tell you I had close friends, one might say I knew four different couples that we're like genuinely friends with that went to the wedding and never told me beforehand. And honestly, rightfully so. Rightfully so. They did the thing that they were supposed to do. And if I got invited, I also would not have told anyone. Even though I have a nationally Syndicated podcast, but you know what I mean, we had a lot of friends that went. And I found out the next day. Can you believe this shit? Can you believe these motherfuckers? And I say that with love. Went to the wedding and I didn't even get a hey, about to roll in. Gotta turn in our phones, but wanna let you know I'm here, bitch. With like a middle finger text from these hoes. I did not. I did not. And they're all very respectfully tight lipped about it post wedding. But I just feel that the, the, the closeness that I have to some of these people that did not tell me. I'm. I'm re. I'm reconsidering a lot of things in my life. And it's not my friendships with them because they did exactly as they were instructed. But I'm just thinking I'm not. I'm not doing enough, you know, like I thought. And I'm not saying social climbing. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm not doing enough. I'm not making lists. I got. We got to make lists. I'm here. I am with a heavy flow in Portofino when I should have been making lists. I should have been getting on lists. I gotta call my publicist. We gotta get on that. I couldn't believe it. I woke up the morning after the Taylor Swift wedding to multiple texts. I'm scrolling through Instagram. Everybody's posting their gorgeous gown themselves in a gorgeous gown or handsome tuxedo with the Taylor Swift song. It's a love story, baby. Just say yes. And I'm looking at this going, are you fucking kidding me? You're an accountant. You do my taxes. Why were you at Madison Square Garden, sir? Unbelievable. And for those. For those people who are having, like, a negative opinion about her wedding, let this bitch live. I've said this. I'll say it again. And I said, I thought it was just a decoy. I thought, surely she's getting married. Cliffside near her house in, like, Kennebunkport. Little did I know I changed my tune on it. Let the bitch live. I'm so happy she's getting dicked down because I am also getting dicked down. And it has really turned my attitude around. I was in a fight or flight situation there for a little too long. And you know what I realized? I didn't realize that I needed more dick. Sometimes that's what you need. It's summer, it's hot, it's sweating. But sometimes you just need more Dick. And also, there is a law firm that is directly across the hall from us in this studio. And I know that this poor guy is trying to, like, work on cases while I'm just screaming, you know what? You need more Dick. But it's true. But it is also true. That's what you need, okay? Another hard pivot. So after our little trip to the Loire Valley, Jeff and I did a romantic two days in Paris. He hadn't been to Paris in so long. And I said, I want to take my little boo up there, you know? You know, where It's a sexy place to have sex, Perry. And what I am about to tell you is. I don't really need to preface this, except in the words of Taylor Swift, it's been a long time coming. Now what am I doing? All right? So many things happened on this trip. I am. Okay, this is what I will say. What I'm about to tell you is so out of touch. Tone deaf, grotesque, vain, materialistic. Just indulgent. So just. If you. If you're. If you don't want to hear it, keep rolling, okay? Keep rolling. But I need y' all to know that I've changed my tune on men, and I've also changed my tune on luxury goods, particularly from Hermes. And I will tell you why. I secured the bag, okay? I'm not gonna show you the bag. I'm not gonna flaunt it. I'm not gonna do this thing. But I bought myself an investment piece. I sold three other luxury bags to get this bag. So I'm living my life, okay? I had been on a mission to buy the fucking bag. I been talking about the fucking bag for, like, three years now. Jackie Schimmel and I tried to get the bag in December. We were rejected. But somehow the stars were aligned and your girl secured the bag. And this is the story of securing the bag. So if you don't know what I'm talking about. When Jackie Schimmel and I were in Paris in December, we tried to get a leather appointment at Hermes. And they're very hard to come by. Okay? I'm talking very hard. We thought we could get one through our hotel. It didn't work. We went in there, we played the lottery. We begged, borrowed, and steeled. We could not get one. I was flirting with the lady folding the gorgeous silk scarves at Hermes. We could not get in. We couldn't use clout. Our names, our charisma, our charm, our sexual prowess. Nothing that we had in our orbit was helping us get a leather Appointment. And I've always talked so much shit about the fucking buying the Birkins and the Kelly's Only show. I'm like, this is so gross. Until, and this could be bullshit, but now I'm fully on board with Hermes. I saw this thing online that said the only person in like the luxury good worlds that said no to Jeffrey Epstein was the Hermes team. And I was like, well then I, you know what? To Catch a Predator, I am buying Hermes. I'm going to give them my hard earned dollar. Obviously the stuff is gorgeous and it's an incredible like company, but I saw this thing online that says that Jeffrey Epstein tried to get in with Hermes. He was like, fuck you guys. And donated to one of the Hermes charities of some sort. And Hermes like returned the check and was like, no, I'm good. I don't need that disgusting pedo money. And once I read that, I looked at Jeff and I said, I'm gonna buy a belt. I might buy a bag. So long story short, and I hope that this isn't going to completely hinder my chances of ever being able to purchase something from there again. But at this point Jeff said, you gotta do it for the plot. So we stayed at this amazing hotel and I had a friend who knew somebody who knew somebody who through the hotel was able to secure us. She said like, this is a five year old wedding gift. Like, just, just do it, go for it. I got it. And then you, you can go there and if everything is insane, then you, you know, you don't buy a bag. So this is how the whole system works. You ha, you get an appointment, you show up and then they take you upstairs and they take you in this like secret room and you get sat down and then you basically come in with like, like a wish list of things that you want. But it's not like shopping in a normal store. You're not like, oh, can I look at this bag? Can I look at this? They basically size you up and down, you know, read your energy, then probably do a quick google on you to see who the fuck you are. And that determines whether or not they're going to give you the bag you want or a bag that's like, that couldn't sell last season. I don't, I don't fully know how it works, except this is the vibe that I got. My sales associate was incredible, incredibly informative. Now my friend Lindsay, who collects these, she's like, heather, the only money I will spend is on this certain bag. You know, the Chanel's are just as expensive. Some of these other brands are just as expensive these days. Now, if you're buying a Birkin or Kelly or some sort of Hermes bag on resale, that's why they're like tens of thousands of dollars. If you buy it from the store in Paris, it's. It's a normal price. That's what I didn't realize then. Once it clicked, I was like, oh, once you actually are able to purchase it from the actual store, it's. It's a completely reasonable price. It's not what you're thinking. And without throwing numbers on, it's not what you're thinking. So at this point, Jeff's like, we're doing it for the plot. Let's do it. Like, you've always said you wanted one. And at this point, it took him to piss off Jackie. And I need you to know something about my relationship with Jackie Schimmel. We're actually friends. We're good friends. I love her. It's not a weird, parasocial relationship. I call her, I text her. I love her. I love her husband. I love her, baby. Like, that's my girl, okay? So I text her and I said, jackie, you're never gonna fucking believe this. I got a leather appointment. She's like, fuck you. Like, go fuck yourself. I was like, I'm doing it for the plot. She goes, girl, go get it. Like, live, laugh, love. Go get the bag. I thought I had had on a cute outfit that day. I had a cute little shirt that I bought in Loire Valley. It said pistachio. I have a cute little butterfly. Show me your mumu skirt on a pair of sandals. I've got another nice bag with me. I'm like, I think I look cute. And as soon as I walk in, I realize I am not dressed like the Sul of Bernay. Like, I should have been in some sort of Dior outfit. Just some. Something a little bit more elevated. I was too fun casual. So as soon as we walk in, I'm like, jeff, they're not. This is not going to go down. And they. You can get a leather appointment. And then they just deny you. They sniff you, and they're like, fat American, goodbye. But we get into the room, I tell the woman, there was like three colors and three different types of bags. And I said, these are my. Ideally, what I would love if you have this. That'd be great. Then she says, okay, I'm gonna go down and see what I have again. You're not walking in. It's like, people who buy nice watches. You don't get to walk in and just pick the one you want. No, it's like a whole system. You gotta feel out the energy. You gotta put out good vibes. They gotta read you up and down. It's a whole back and forth. So the woman goes downstairs, and as soon as our sales associate is gone, this other sales associate walks into this private room and she's like, who is your sales associate? And I. And I name our sales associate. And she's like, ugh. Like, kind of seems annoyed. Now, my friend Lindsay, who collects these bags, told me she said the whole situation is cunty. She's like, just go with it. Lean in. Don't say too much. Don't say too little. Be charming. Don't act like you're too excited. But also don't act like you've never done this before. Like, you. You have to really read the room, play the game. And I'm already sweating through my T shirt because I know that I'm not dressed appropriately. I thought I was so cute. I thought I was gonna be young fashion forward. Dua lipa. You know, I was feeling like, dua lipa vibes. I am not giving dua lipa. I'm giving honey Boo Boo win to Hermes. That is the vibe that I'm giving. It is. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, this giant side mirror in Hermes, and I'm like, I look fat as a house in this tight white tee. Like, what am I doing? So now I'm on the verge of just absolutely spiraling out. Jeff's like, be nicer to yourself. I'm like, I'm fat in Hermes. Why didn't you tell me I look fat in this outfit? He's like, you're on your period, bitch. I'm like, I know. Like that that was the back and forth as we were, like, whispering this to each other. And she was like, we can get out of here. We don't have to get the fucking bag. I was like, no, we are here. We are getting the fucking bag. If anything, I'm doing it for Jackie. So then a sales associate comes in while our girl is down in the basement. I don't know what she's doing. I imagine all she's doing is googling who I am. Cause on her way out, she did say. She's like, you know, I heard you are a famous actress. And I said, yes. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. I actually have not been in a movie. I was in a NETFLIX Christmas movie. Called love hard in 2020 during the pandemic. I'm in the movie four and a half minutes. But yes, I am. I'm an incredibly talented actress. That's the game we were playing. So she leaves. This other woman comes in, is kind of annoyed that we're in this private room. And I imagine that she thinks that her customer, her client, is more important than me, which, guess what? They probably were. I can almost 99% guarantee that they absolutely were more important. So then we get moved out of the private room to a desk out in the open air with the other peasants buying stuff. And Jeff looks at me and goes, oh, we're not getting offered anything. He's like, nope. This is how it goes. He's like, we got booted from the private room. It's a wrap. Forget it. It's never gonna happen. And then now I'm getting pissed. So now I'm like, actually, actually, I don't know if you know this, but I was in a fabulous rom com Christmas movie called Love Hard, that shot in Vancouver in 2020. And actually, I am fantastic in that movie. I've also played Radio City. I am a. I've had three comedy specials. One will be coming out on Hulu very soon. Like that. Like, I am actually quite accomplished, and I have been on a period for quite some time now. And I don't know if you know this, but I have done things. Okay. I am living. I have a podcast. I have a podcast. And Jeff is looking at me like, who are you giving this monologue to? Nobody in this room speaks English except the sales associates. And everybody in here has, like, 15 burkids. They don't care. We are the poorest people. No one cares. Your eczema is flared up and you're sweating through this baby teeth that says pistachio. I'm in a teacher that says pistachio. My favorite flavor of ice cream in the Hermes store. Store. Again, I want you to imagine honey Boo boo in a T shirt sweating in a Parisian luxury goods store. That's me. And I am gripping a glass of champagne that is now lukewarm. Well, my. The head of the store, one of the heads of the head sales associate comes up and he was like, why have you been moved? And I was like, I am. I don't know. And he's like, no. Then he rushes us back into the private room. They're having a little skir fuffle. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, our girl just went down and googled us. And I imagine in the bottom of Hermes, it's like a giant command center where there's multiple screens and they have like analysts down there, like, who is Your client? Heather McMahon. Let's look up her net worth. Is she worthy to buy a bag? And I didn't want them to do too much Googling because I'm sure some like, maybe because they saw me, one of the pinned videos on my Instagram is me dressed in drag as Pitbull. Maybe that was. Maybe my sales associate is a huge pit bull fan and was like, you know what? Love this bitch. She had a sense of humor. We were vibing. She couldn't have been more educated, kinder, nicer, like, was telling me all about the leather. It was. She was great. The other people though, when they saw my fat ass coming with a pistachio T shirt, thought, get her out of here. And I'm telling you, there was some like fabulous woman from Dubai who was buying a bag who had 16 Kelly's. And I'm like, this woman's actually has money. You know what I mean? Anyways, we get whisked back into the room and my sales associate comes up and it's this whole thing. Like, again, you can give them three colors and I think there's only like one or two opportunities for them to like pull out a bag. She pulls out this bag. I look at it, I look at Jeff. We're both dripping. I'm talking dripping sweat, like beads running down our face. I'm not even an armpit sweater. I can feel my armpits just fighting for their lives. And I'm in this little skirt and I'm trying to cross my legs because I know my Spanx are hanging out. It was just one of those, like, I truly was so uncomfortable in my own skin in this moment. And then she pulls this bag out of the box and I look at her and she's like, her exact reaction. Why? Why? No big reaction is what she said. She's like, I am worried. You are not giving the reaction. This is the exact bag you asked for. And I took a second and I looked at Jeff and Jeff so sweetly said, he's like, you know, so my wife has this condition where she can't buy anything for herself, but she could buy you a Birkin right now. And this is the dumbest thing ever. But I'm forcing her to get this because she's been talking about this for three years and now. And we kind of had like eye contact where he's like, I know we're doing it for the plot. And he was like. And honestly, that's a great price, and that's a great bag. And you know what? Fuck it. And he looked at me and he goes, I like that one. It's gonna look good on you. You put a little miss piggy charm on it, and that's your fucking purse. Like, without saying that. Like, the tone of what he was saying. He was being so respectful to the woman, but he just said she can't pull the trigger and do nice things for herself. And I looked at him, and she's like, are you okay? And I'm just sweating in this T shirt. And I go, I'll buy it. She's like, but you're not elated? Like, what is. And I go, no, no, I'm good. I'll buy it. I'll buy it in the private room in this T shirt that I have now sweat through. I will buy the bag. I will buy the bag. I am buying the bag. Where is the cash register? Let's see if this amex doesn't explode as soon as I try and swipe it. We have a laugh. She now knows that I'm funny, but the whole time, she's just like. Like, people are in there fighting for their lives. This is the moment they've all been waiting for. And again, it's all materialistic shit. I'm like, listen, you know what I'm putting in my Birkin, my fucking bug out bag. I'm putting a life straw when the world goes belly up at I'm clutching the fucking leather while I'm sucking through my life straw out of my pool because we've. The world's run out of water. But you know what? In my mind, I'm looking around at the store, and I'm like, everyone's a little cunty, and the whole thing is so obscene. And just the supply and demand and the whole thing. And I said, fuck this. Fuck it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it because they kicked me out of the room. Then they brought me back in the room. I'm doing it because why the fuck not? I'm doing it because I want it. I'm just doing it because fuck it. Literally, I wanted it. So I've talked so much shit on this show, and I did it. She. She secured the bag. She went from a heavy flow in Portofino to securing the bag. And I have, like, two friends that I can text about this that. That get it in the sense of, like, they're collectors of These, These. These things. And my girl Lindsay was like, you did it. You got the color you wanted. She liked you. Like, all caps, you know, And I was like, great. And then when I, you know, when you buy it and then you get the vat backs, guys, it's not. It's. It's really not expensive. I don't know how to explain it. You could go into Chanel and buy a bag. You could buy two Gucci's. It's the same thing. And I'm not saying that to, like, downplay it, but I think the hype around it is that these bags are out of control because it's all resale, because you can't get one. I mean, now I'm probably gonna get robbed blind, but either way, I secured the bag at the Hermes and I walked out, and they're like, we'll send it to your hotel. Da, da, da. Whatever. I was, you know, I was like, you know, fuck, yeah, Yeah. I did something nice for myself. And I walk out and Gwyneth Paltrow walks right past me. Like, shoom. Like right in front of me. She has no bag. She has nothing. She's just cute in a little linen outfit, hand in her pocket. She owned a piece of gum. And I didn't even notice her. First I noticed her husband, and she walked by, and then he or he walked by, she walked by. And I turned to Jeff and Jeff was like, yeah, it's a good day. You deserve it. You bought it. If anything, you did it just to piss off Jackie. And I said, exactly. That's how much I love her. That's how much I love her. Now, meanwhile, Jackie is spending every last time she has redoing her backyard. So while I was in Paris and she's pregnant in California, she's like, you know where I am right now? I'm in Alhambra. I'm in the middle of the Inland Empire in California looking at slabs of marble. And you just got a bag and ran into Gwyneth Paltrow. Who the do you think you are? And I was like, I love you. She's like, I love you too. I love you too. So all I need you to know is we had a wild ride in Europe. We had a wild fucking ride. And now I have come home and I am turning around and I'm going back to Europe to go hang out with Armando. I just. There was a lot of moments in these last couple weeks where it's been an incredibly difficult last year for a multitude of things. And it's just been tough, but also, I know, richly blessed, grateful that I get to do all this stuff, but I really became that materialistic bitch that I said, you know what? Fuck it, I'm doing it. And I got it. And I was like, like very happy that I didn't. And then on top of that, I just feel like, you know, sometimes you gotta do things for the plot. But if you can just envision Honey Boo Boo at her prime just sweating in a luxury goods store, then that's all you need to know. And I will say I will plan to continue to purchase things from Hermes because they rejected Jeffrey Epstein, and that is very important to me. So I believe this story is true. And. Yeah, and that's. That's what I'm sticking to. So, anywho, follow along on Instagram and TikTok for all of the information about the live stream of me and Pitbull this week. And, dude, just remember, write it down. Like. Like, just. Just do it. Go for it. Cause you never know what the fuck's gonna happen in life. And you never know. You never know when one minute you're sitting outside of a baguette shop just chomping on a piece of jamon just with a slab of butter on it, and you're looking at your husband going, this has been a fun trip. Do you get in the text that says, be at Hermes in an hour. Wear something cute. And you just kind of wipe some butter and grease on your pistachio T shirt. And I'm like, let's do it. Let's do it for the plot. And now that I have one, I'm like, 110 more. Anywho, but I told Jeff, I said, I imagine my gay son one day being like, this was mama's bag. Mama's barking. And, you know, I'm gonna have a little Diet Coke charm on it and a Miss Piggy charm. I'm putting charms. I'm using the thing. That's the thing. Don't be too precious about it. Use the thing. Wear the thing, do the thing. We got three good years left. Well, imagine my gay son one day going off to college and be like, you know, mama choked on a chicken tender last week, and she's only been gone seven days. But she did say I could have her Birkin. So, you know, mama said this is what I was gonna have. So I'm gonna wear this to cheer practice today at Ole Miss. Just imagine my gay son being a cheerleader and taking mama's Birkin to the gas station to buy a pack of menthols, and then go into cheer practice and walking into the Delta Gamma house with a smile on his face, just clutching my Birkin, being like, I miss Mama. And I'm gonna say, baby, I miss you too, but I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you for rushing Delta Gamma. I'm so proud of you for being on the cheer squad. And I'm so proud of you for taking care of mama's back. And that's it. That's. That's really. That's really why I said, we're. We'll take it. And I've said this about children as well. If somebody were to drop off a baby in a Birkin on my doorstep, I'd say, we'll take it. I've also said that about children. I. It's very hard for me to buy things for myself, but then when I do, when I do, I do. I hope you understand that when I say, let's, that's like our house. I walked in, didn't even look around. I think I saw the kitchen. I said, yep, this is it. Great. I'm the most wish washy, indecisive when it comes to doing things for myself. And then when I flip, I flip and I just do it. So that's what we're doing. Yep, we'll take it. We'll take it. So I don't know what that needs to invigorate, how that needs to set your tits ablaze for the rest of the summer, but sometimes we just gotta say, yeah, we'll take it. We'll do it. Mm. Yep. Yep, we're gonna go. Mm. That trip. We're gonna go. Picnic at the lake. Yep, we'll take it. We'll go. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. We're doing it. Don't overthink it. Don't think twice. In the words of Nike, just do it. I did it. We did. We're doing it. We're done. It's done. It's happening, and we'll continue to do it. So ask, believe, receive, achieve, and conceive. And that's all you need to know. I will be back next week with a full recap of what happens in London. I cannot wait to tell you guys everything. I'm so anxious about the weekend. Think it's going to be a really fun, positive experience. And I'm so honored to be a part of this monumental historical moment for Pitbull and all the people who are coming out to the show and want to be a part of the ball cap, the ball cap Society. Like unbelievably cool. So I'll be doing a recap. I will also be doing voicemails next week. So Please call in 800-213-7503 and I want to hear what you guys have been up to this summer. And I hope you didn't mind this just very insane indulgence, an over the top recap of Europe because we had a great time. And also don't ask me to go to dinner because I can't afford to. So that's it. Just so you know, we're done. I'm not leaving after this work trip. I'm not leaving the house. I'm sitting in the house. I'm putting together furniture from Wayfair and that's all I'm doing for the rest of the summer. Don't ask me. And you're not coming over to my house for a barbecue because catering's expensive. So just know we're done. It's a wrap. We're done. I love you. I mean it. I'll see you on the next episode. Ciao, bella. A river, Darci and hey, let's stop time and enjoy this moment. In the words of Mr. 305 took my life from negative to positive. I just want y' all to know that. Dollar Bye. Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. Don't forget to subscribe, rate us and leave a review. And as always, follow me on instagram Heather K. McMahon. See you guys soon. Sam.