Absolutely Not – "Live from the Today Show!" (Feb 26, 2025)
Host: Heather McMahan (Dear Media)

Episode Overview

In this high-energy episode, comedian Heather McMahan takes listeners on a rapid-fire journey through her latest misadventures—from co-hosting NBC's Today Show with Jenna Bush Hager, to wild encounters in Des Moines, Iowa, and backstage stories from her live Vegas shows. No topic is off-limits as Heather gleefully recaps behind-the-scenes TV tales, weighs in on viral TikTok drama, and responds to hilarious and heartfelt hotline voicemails from her famously unfiltered fans. Expect authentic oversharing, a bit of “bitching about life,” and the signature mix of chaos and kindness that defines the Absolutely Not Podcast.

Key Discussion Points & Stories

1. Behind-the-Scenes on the Today Show (00:07, 29:02)

• Heather’s Crossover onto National TV: Updates on co-hosting Today Show with Jenna Bush Hager; describes the energetic, somewhat surreal experience of live daytime television.
  • “Doing live TV is like nothing you’ve ever seen... every segment is three minutes, you tee something up, quick response, then it’s commercial.” (29:49)
• Impressions of Jenna Bush Hager & Crew:
  • “Jenna is so fantastic on air, but off-camera, she is truly so hysterical, so funny, ballsy, brash, in the best way.” (29:56)
• Work Crush Confession: Lightheartedly reveals a “work crush” on Willie Geist and muses about possibly doing a “Sunday Sitdown.”
  • “My new hall pass might be Willie Geist... he’s just so charming and so kind and handsome, and he has been so nice to me.” (32:12)

2. The Infamous Des Moines Walgreens Story (03:22–22:21)

• Setting the Scene: After a whirlwind tour, Heather finds herself at a Walgreens in Iowa where pajama pant-clad locals prompt major culture shock.
  • “You always know you’re on the wrong side of the tracks when everyone in the Walgreens has on Cookie Monster pajama pants and it’s negative 20 degrees out.” (07:09)
• Hilariously Surreal Encounter: Mistaken for “J.Lo from Wichita” by a young, friendly cashier; she plays along, inventing a backstory for laughs.
  • Quote: “‘Are you from Wichita?’ I said, ‘Oh yeah, Wichita.’ And his eyes light up like it is Christmas morning... and then he goes, ‘J.Lo.’ And I said, ‘Oh yeah, J.Lo.’” (10:56)
• Going Viral & Social Media Fallout:
  • Her TikTok story blows up, locals try to track down the mysterious cashier, and even J.Lo and Reese Witherspoon comment.
  • “J.Lo comments, crying laughing emoji. Reese Witherspoon comments ‘ain’t your mama, of course.’ I’m like, what is happening?” (14:28)
  • Ultimately, she panics and deletes the video, worried Iowa TikTok teens will create chaos at the Walgreens.
• 'Whorish Energy' Reflection: Jokes about why she, a happily married woman, always gets mistaken for strippers and “exotic dancers” by men nationwide.
  • “Apparently I give off whorish energy. And maybe it’s the confidence, maybe it’s the big tits, the blonde hair, the broad shoulders, the deep raspy voice…” (15:48)

3. Midwest Culture Shock: The Casey's Gas Station Pizza Saga (22:21–26:36)

• Unfiltered Review: Describes sampling “famous” Iowa gas station pizza—served “skin on skin, plastic bag”—and the odd folks encountered there.
  • “Call me when you’ve been 30 minutes outside of Des Moines at a Casey’s with a Mountain Dew in one hand, pizza in a plastic bag, and ranch from the cooler.” (24:35)
• Defending the South:
  • “I don’t want to fucking hear it...I have been to the rural parts of the Midwest and they are far worse than the rural parts of Alabama. Put some respect on my name as a Southerner!” (25:14)

4. NYC Adventures & Gay Bar Shenanigans (27:19–31:48)

• Revisiting Old Stomping Grounds: Takes Jenna Bush Hager to her old neighborhood, favorite late-night empanada joint, and Flaming Saddles—her beloved country-western gay bar.
  • “If you don’t know Flaming Saddles... every 45 minutes the dancers—who are the bartenders—get on the bar and do dances. Sexy, tight jeans, juicy...go for the eye candy.” (28:16)
• Fog Machine Rant: Comical almost-conspiracy about fog machines being the source of her raspy voice and “killing” everyone’s sinuses.
  • “There’s no way fog machines aren’t... it’s like you’re vaping. There’s never an exhaust. And I think that is the problem. That’s why we’re all dying.” (30:20)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On playing along with the Walgreens mistaken identity:
  “Did I wanna pretend like I was from Wichita? Of course I chose fun. I chose adventure. We’re in Des Moines, what the fuck, why not?” — Heather (10:43)

• On giving off “whorish energy”:
  “Maybe it’s the confidence, maybe it’s the big tits, the blonde hair, the broad shoulders, the deep raspy voice... but everywhere I go, they always stop me and go, ‘How do I know you?’” — Heather (15:48)

• On Casey’s pizza:
  “You get a slice of this pizza... you put it in a plastic bag. I’m talking skin on skin, plastic, unmelted cheese... not kosher, not good, didn’t like that at all.” — Heather (22:41)

• Gay Bar Love:
  “Ladies, even if you know these men aren’t interested in you: go for the eye candy. They want you to ogle. They love it; tip them, throw cash at them...I felt right at home.” — Heather (28:37)

Hotline: Voicemails & Audience Interactions

1. Vegas Meet and Greet: “Are They Always This Unhinged?” (40:41)

• Caller Lauren asks if all Heather’s meet and greets are as wild as in Las Vegas.
• Heather recounts the emotional range, drunken fans, niche questions (origami podcasting), and offers tongue-in-cheek advice:
  • “Are the meet and greets a little bit of a wild roller coaster for me? Yeah, they are... come to the meet and greets, bring good energy, bring good gifts, and it’s okay to be a little weird.” (43:55)

2. Vegas Show FOMO Confession (46:47)

• Caller Amanda from Detroit admits she and her husband booked a trip for the Vegas show but accidentally napped through it after dinner and gambling.
• Heather’s Response: Hilariously understanding, encourages honesty:
  • “As long as that ticket cleared the bank, you do you, baby... you and I both know if you go beef and lay down, you’re not getting up for the show.” (47:47, 48:43)

3. The Skims “Nipple Bra” Dilemma (51:40)

• Caller Andrea seeks a ruling: absolutely yes or no to Kim Kardashian’s bra with built-in fake nipples?
• Heather riffs on nip and bra philosophy:
  • “My nips are always hard… if you want to go nips out but have the oomph, that’s very nice. Call Kim Benjamin Franklin.” (52:27)
  • “I say, free the nips… for the ratio of nip to breast tissue is perfect, I have been told that by many lovers...” (53:14)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|------------| | Opening & Today Show Recap | 00:07–03:22| | Des Moines Walgreens Story | 03:22–22:21| | Casey’s Gas Station Pizza Saga | 22:21–26:36| | NYC/Today Show BTS, Flaming Saddles | 27:19–31:48| | Work Crush on Willie Geist | 32:12–33:39| | Meet & Greet Calls (Vegas Stories) | 40:41–46:47| | Skims Nipple Bra Hotline Call | 51:40–53:35|

Closing Thoughts

• Heather revels in her chaotic schedule and gratitude for her fans, and hints at future podcast guests, more tour dates, and possible Oscars party tales.
• “I want you to know the rest of the week I’ll be bringing old school Kathie Lee Gifford energy – because everyone has a story.” (54:30)

Summary

If you haven’t listened, this episode is a head-spinning, brutally candid, and laugh-out-loud storytelling session. Heather McMahan spins gold from travel disasters, viral TikTok mishaps, and the wildest corners of her fanbase—with plenty of self-deprecation and love. Her motto: do the most and the least, at the same damn time. And as always, the Absolutely Not Hotline delivers content that’s as chaotic as it is cathartic.