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Suzanne Lambert
The following podcast is a dear media production.
Podcast Announcer
Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where
Heather McMahon
we do the most and the least
Podcast Announcer
at the same damn time.
Heather McMahon
I'm your host, Heather McMahon. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. I'm so excited. I have a very special guest in the studio today. We're gonna get right into it. Turns out, no relation to Miranda. Ms. Lambert, how are you? Suzanne, thanks for coming.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm so excited to be here.
Heather McMahon
Oh, thank you for coming.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, my gosh.
Heather McMahon
Now we linked up on the interwebs as most mature adult relationships. That's where they begin on Instagram. And you have really blossomed into a. I mean, you have such a wonderful, wonderfully smart comedic take on what's going on in the political atmosphere right now. And I found you originally because of your MAGA makeup videos.
Suzanne Lambert
Yes.
Heather McMahon
Which truly iconic. I mean, I've been talking about MAGA mamas for quite some time. And I think one of the reasons why we connected is we both are from Georgia, have Southern roots, and have obviously, now in this day and age, taken, like, a hard pivot in, I don't know, an unexpected pivot into who we are politically. So totally talk to us about your origin story. You grew up in Kennesaw.
Suzanne Lambert
Yes, Kennesaw, Georgia. Y' all might have heard of it, because it is the law to own a gun in Kennesaw, Georgia. It's the law in Kennesaw, is our slogan. If that just kind of gives you an idea of, like, what do you
Heather McMahon
mean it's the law.
Suzanne Lambert
It's literally the law to own a gun, but you have to own a city ordinance. It's not in for.
Heather McMahon
Right.
Suzanne Lambert
But, like, it is. That law is still on the books. Just to give people an idea of, like, where we're at politically.
Heather McMahon
Okay.
Suzanne Lambert
I was president of Young Republicans in high school.
Heather McMahon
Yes.
Suzanne Lambert
Thank you. Because if you're going to be insufferable.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
You need to be the most insufferable. That's really important to me. Campaigned for Romney in college. But honestly, for me, politics was one of those things. Like, I liked the back and forth and, like, the drama. Honestly, I didn't really understand a lot of, like, the policies. What was actually true. I would just hear what I heard on Fox News and repeat it.
Heather McMahon
I don't think any of us knew anything about policies till about 15 minutes. I think this whole idea that, you know, in this day and age, and especially, like, on, you know, the Democratic side, it's like, you have to be this purist, and people are like, if you ever swayed, if you were ever once a Republican, if you ever grew up in a Republican House, that somehow you're tainted. It's like, no, let's meet people where they are now. That is why this, I think, political spectrum has just gotten so out of control. It's like, meet people where they're at now. Minds can change, things can change, policies change. I didn't know what. I didn't know about shit until I learned about it.
Suzanne Lambert
You know, of course, I hate to
Heather McMahon
sound so stupid in phrasing it that way, but it's like this whole purist idea that you had to, like, be born into a blue family or even on the other side, you had to bleed red since the day you were born. Like, that's simply not how life works. No.
Suzanne Lambert
And I think that. That really, it's always a. From Connecticut saying that, first of all, no shade to Connecticut, but also a little shade to Connecticut. Because I'm like, if you have that perspective, it just shows how ignorant you are to, like, the propaganda machine that exists. I mean, the football coach was. The history teacher was the FCA Fellowship of Christian Athletes.
Heather McMahon
Shout out to fca.
Suzanne Lambert
Shout out. Fca.
Heather McMahon
Not an fca.
Suzanne Lambert
And I was a cheerleader.
Heather McMahon
I was a cheerleader and a golfer, and I was. I was a part of fca.
Suzanne Lambert
Like, if you weren't in fca, you were a freak.
Heather McMahon
You weren't a part of fca. You definitely weren't getting fingered on the weekend.
Suzanne Lambert
You absolutely were not. You were not, like, hooking up with any of the cute boys from the lacrosse team. And that's why I was there. I was like, really? Really? And that's how it starts, right? Like, they create these spaces for these ideas to kind of blossom and fester, really. And then I think that that just shows, like, an ignorance. I'm like, you don't understand what it's like to grow up when you're just. That's the only perspective that you're surrounded by. And then I moved, you know, I moved to D.C. and I started doing comedy, and I was like, oh, like, everything I thought was wrong. Right. And I think that that resonated with a lot of people when I started building my platform, because it's like, I was very upfront about the fact I used to be a Republican, because people will pull it out and try to cancel you later. So I was like, here's everything. Like, I used to be a conservative. I thought all these things I Don't think that anymore. That's actually really normal, and we should encourage that.
Heather McMahon
Right.
Suzanne Lambert
And I think that that's helped.
Heather McMahon
Now, you grew up in Kennesaw. You went to the University of Georgia.
Suzanne Lambert
Yes.
Heather McMahon
Did you take the typical sorority? What sorority were you in? Kappa Delta Kappa Delta. Shout out to my KDs out there. I was a Delta Gamma.
Suzanne Lambert
Yes.
Heather McMahon
Which not. Not a strong chapter. I have to say this all the. Not a strong chapter at uga, but we still love.
Suzanne Lambert
But we. And we know that that's an outlier.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
You know, like, that's an outlier. And honestly, the worst chapter at UGA still beats the best chapter at a lot of, like, random. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, it's funny. I was a Katie, and that Mumu was not even, like, really a big thing yet, but there was a ton of older girls who were, like, plugged in with Cami and the Mumu team.
Heather McMahon
Oh, yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
So mumu used to come to Katie and do, like, trunk shows. I don't even think they had a website yet.
Heather McMahon
No, they didn't have a. And they only had two tops.
Suzanne Lambert
The peacock.
Heather McMahon
The peacock.
Suzanne Lambert
And I love. I still have it.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, it was the peacock. Regular mumu. And then they had, like, a longer one that you could wear that they'd wear out with, like, a thong underneath, and that was a full outfit.
Suzanne Lambert
And Jeffrey Campbell's and Jeffrey Campbell's.
Heather McMahon
And that's what you wore. And maybe, like, a gladiator sandal. And you had a hobo bag. Everybody had the Marc Jacobs leather bag in college, and we were thriving.
Suzanne Lambert
And we were. And we looked good.
Heather McMahon
We looked. We looked so great. You know what? I really get angry. I really am trying to be kinder to myself. I. I get so angry when I look back, and I'm like, why was I so mean to myself? I was so cute. Now, college, my freshman year was rough.
Suzanne Lambert
I wasn't cute. Yeah.
Heather McMahon
But then after I got to, like, junior year, I was like. I pulled it together. Like, why wasn't I kinder to myself?
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah, that was me, too. Like, I had a real rough go there sophomore junior year, but really pulled it together senior year. But, yeah, I was a. I was Acadia, Georgia. We were like, the Barbies. That was kind of our, like, reputation. And people tried to say it as an insult.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. You're like, who doesn't love Mattel?
Suzanne Lambert
Like, the beauty standard. That's why I always tell people. I'm like, stop calling Christine Ohm Ice Barbie. That is a compliment. All she hears is Barbie Call her Ice. Cabbage Patch.
Heather McMahon
Yes.
Suzanne Lambert
Or Garbage Pail Kid.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, Garbage Pail Kid. That's the. That's where you need to go. The fine muse at our school at Ole Miss were the Barbie girls. And everything was pink and they were gorgeous.
Suzanne Lambert
Everyone's a Barbie at Ole Miss.
Heather McMahon
That is true. I mean, I was truly, like. I was truly the troll. I was Pumbaa. I was. I was bad. I. There. I was the black sheep of my sorority, but I was funny, so they kept me around.
Suzanne Lambert
See, I would.
Heather McMahon
I would throw parties. Like, I would invite everybody out. I. I hustled, I wheeled and dealed. But every year, I'd be like, guys, can I run for homecoming queen? I know I could get the vote. And they were like, no. Can I be president? They were like, no. Can I do this? They're like, yeah, no, sweetie. We need somebody from, like, Born and Rise, Mississippi, who's from Jackson. I was like, I would just be in the back cheering Everybody on.
Suzanne Lambert
No, 100%. But I got to write the skit every year, which they got rid of because Kappa was racist, and then they yanked Skid. But we were funny, so we got Kappa wrote.
Heather McMahon
That's all we needed. And we're not blaming Kappa for everything, but all you needed was one sorority to do one tiny racist thing, and you ruined the skit for the rest of us. Talented black sheep in the sorority.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. You really did.
Heather McMahon
Josh, how do you feel about this?
Suzanne Lambert
He's like, real problem.
Heather McMahon
Josh is like, I'll tell you what, Kim.
Suzanne Lambert
People are dying.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. I literally tell Josh all the time, like, he has to listen to my white girl bullshit all the time. Yeah. That's where we thrived. I can tell that you and I had a very similar college experience. And so then after that, you move to D.C. you start getting really involved with politics. Or was it just you started performing, you know, obviously doing comedy. But what made you take the leap into such a. A hard line in politics with your material?
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. Yeah. So I had a little side quest in Tampa for a few years, and then I moved.
Heather McMahon
Everybody's needs a Florida side quest.
Suzanne Lambert
It's essential to have a Florida side quest. And I love Florida. Like, it's like the. It's only okay when I make fun of it. That's kind of how I feel. I'm like, you can make fun of it, but watch it, you know?
Heather McMahon
And I feel, as a Southerner, I, who spent every waking moment of their spring break in Florida, who is a family at one point, at a timeshare in Florida, like you. I'm allowed to do that. Even though we're from Georgia, we're allowed to shit on our younger brother.
Suzanne Lambert
That's what you do. Yeah. Our younger might be like a half brother stepbrother situation, but it is our brother. It's still family.
Heather McMahon
Right.
Suzanne Lambert
I think it's by marriage. You know, it's like dad's third marriage. It's like your random stepbrother who you've met twice. But like. But I love it. Yeah. And I. So I have. I had like a job in finance. So I was like a corporate girly. Yeah. And I was doing stand up on the side like super consistently. And then I'd kind of stop and then I would do it more and I would post online here and there. But I was still kind trying to find my footing and it was actually around the. It was right after the election, the first one.
Heather McMahon
Which one?
Suzanne Lambert
2024.
Heather McMahon
2024.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. Because previously I didn't really talk about politics online, like in videos at all. Only because I'm like, I'm going to get canceled for the way I want to talk about shit. Because I mean, people are real touchy. Right?
Heather McMahon
Right.
Suzanne Lambert
And we lost. And it was a week after my birthday, we just lost the election. And I'm like scrolling and it's like, we're going to get through this with love and kindness, whatever. And I was like, you know what? Fuck that. Who's we? Because that's. You're not talking about me.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Ad/Promo Voice 1
I'm a year older and things have gotten worse.
Suzanne Lambert
No, literally, I'm like, you can't. Because if I had done kind of my flavor of comedy, which is like, you know, kind of making fun of Republicans, but also I make fun of everybody.
Heather McMahon
Right.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm an equal opportunist making fun of, you know, people. It was after the election that I started kind of channeling more of my frustration into political comedy online. And it just like really took off because I think I was meeting the moment in a way that not a ton of voices online were.
Podcast Announcer
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Because people were too afraid.
Heather McMahon
And also I. I will say that you're attractive. Like, it's. It's a lot.
Suzanne Lambert
Thank you.
Heather McMahon
It's a lot less jarring to look at somebody who's so spitting absolute fire facts and with such, you know, well intended humor. And then you're also attractive. So that does help, you know, to be able to absorb what you're saying. They're like, well, she's got a great set of tits, so yeah, can't Fault her for that.
Suzanne Lambert
And they were better before. I got them reduced twice, you know, but, like, they were really something. And they're back now. I'm like, damn it.
Heather McMahon
I know. That's the thing with the reduction. Sometimes you're gone. I've had my neck done twice, and I'm. There are days where I go, we should go in for a third.
Suzanne Lambert
No, literally.
Podcast Announcer
Literally.
Heather McMahon
Removing is sometimes harder than people realize it is.
Suzanne Lambert
And now I'm like, I kind of want them back. You know, it is what it is. Ship sailed. But, yeah. And I think that, like, looking like a Republican.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Helps, you know, because people. I don't think people are used to seeing people who look like me talk about politics in the way that I do.
Heather McMahon
Right.
Suzanne Lambert
And, like, also be funny.
Heather McMahon
Right, Right.
Suzanne Lambert
And you've talked about that. I think it was an episode you did maybe with Becky Robinson, where you're like, people don't want you to be funny and pretty and happy.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
And it's like, it's. It's different.
Heather McMahon
It. It is a weird. I don't even want to say, like, a tightrope to walk, but in comedy, it's. It's either you've got to be really brooding and. And, you know, at your rock bottom, but I've always. My comedy has always come from joy.
Suzanne Lambert
Totally.
Heather McMahon
That's.
Podcast Announcer
That's how I get up every morning.
Suzanne Lambert
No, me too.
Heather McMahon
And then I'm always the butt of my own joke, and now I'm, you know, dabbling more into politics and really just kind of what it's like to be a outspoken woman. And, like, the last thing I want
Podcast Announcer
to do is talk about politics.
Heather McMahon
I think that's what people don't realize is, like, no, I don't want to get up every day and then have to write these jokes about how insane the administration is, but it's there. It's also like when you're a comic, you're like, this is just.
Podcast Announcer
This is.
Heather McMahon
It's right in front of me. What are we doing here?
Suzanne Lambert
Christine Owens, husband. We got to strapping on some.
Heather McMahon
We got to his boobs.
Suzanne Lambert
Looks like mine before I got reduced.
Heather McMahon
Yes.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm like, hey, brother, that's stolen valor. Then you don't have the back pain to match.
Heather McMahon
Then you had some weird nipples, though, because the nipples were not that. We had one going to the left, one pointing down. So I.
Suzanne Lambert
10 and 2. Like, I don't know what. What that was.
Heather McMahon
I was on a shoot yesterday, and I really hadn't been on my phone all day, and Then I finally sat down, poured myself a glass of wine, and I'm opening my phone. I'm like, what the fuck did I miss in the news cycle yesterday? It was like the fire of. Of Summer House. And then Kristy Noem. Okay, so this is what I don't understand about the Kristi Noem situation. So what I watched was that her husband has a kink for. It's called bimbification.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
So it's not even. He's cross dressing for, like, a sexual thing. He, like, is. He's. He's being a misogynist, making fun of women in that bimification. I didn't fully understand it.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh. I'm going to be honest, I couldn't look too much into that aspect of it. When people. We don't kink shame. I'm like, I do. Speak for yourself. It's a little. I don't listen. Especially if you're, like, terrorizing the world with your beliefs and then, like, being very hypocritical with them. That's what I have a problem with.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. I think it is a sexual thing, though.
Heather McMahon
Okay.
Suzanne Lambert
But he likes to dress up as Tina.
Heather McMahon
You have a. You have a fact check. Yes. Okay. So it's considered a practice or kink and fetish that involves role playing and transport, transforming oneself into stereotypical portrayal of a bimbo. But that is Crush. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Okay. Yeah.
Podcast Announcer
Oh, interesting.
Suzanne Lambert
Okay. So he just. But that's. I guess it stops and ends there. Like, he just straps them on. I did appreciate that he matched his top to his little tight biker short.
Heather McMahon
I did like that.
Suzanne Lambert
A matching set girly. Who would have thought?
Heather McMahon
And I said, you know, if I ever came home and I caught my husband cross dressing, I would honestly be like, Jeff, thank you for stretching out these shirts. You know, these. Ted, these sweaters were getting tight. Thank you for stretching these out for me.
Suzanne Lambert
So skims baby tees. Forgot Spanx. Can only do so much. And we love Spanx on this podcast, but you know what I'm saying, You can only do so much. Sometimes you need a man to stretch them out for you. No, that was. My friend sent it to me. And my reaction, I was like, oh, my God, I cannot believe she would send me this AI crap. Like, you have to be smarter with your. You know, I'm like, oh, my God,
Heather McMahon
you really have to check the watermark for the AI. You got to do your due diligence.
Suzanne Lambert
It got me. Oh, it got me.
Heather McMahon
Same gets me all the time.
Suzanne Lambert
A photo of the Pope. Like, it was the new pope from Chicago kind of dripped out in some chains. He looked like future. He literally looked like future fur coat. I was like. I retweeted. I'm like, yeah, cool Pope. And then everyone's like, that's AI. Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Did you reverse Google image this?
Suzanne Lambert
I'm like, damn it.
Heather McMahon
Oh, don't tell me that's wishful thinking, though, because, honestly, I feel like he would show up in that. He's the. The Pope of the people.
Suzanne Lambert
He's awesome.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
And he's an American pope. He's a cool dude. So, like. Exactly. I'm like, I don't want to wake up every day and talk about politics, but, like, I want to wake up every day and hang out with my dogs.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, that's it.
Suzanne Lambert
I genuinely just want to sit with my dogs on the couch. Like, I would love to just do that every day, but we, like, have to talk about these things.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. It does feel some days that we're living in a completely dystopian society, and it's almost like how. And I say this in my hour now, I'm like, our brains were not ever wired. We were never it through. There was no point during evolution that we were wired to be able to absorb this kind of news cycle, this amount of information. That is why everybody is so burnt out. Whether you are politically involved or not, you cannot tell me that you don't get up every day and even open your phone and want to throw it in the river and set your body on fire. No.
Suzanne Lambert
No one's having a good time.
Heather McMahon
No one's having a good time.
Suzanne Lambert
No one's having a good time.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
I live in D.C. i'm surrounded by people who work in the administration, and, like, we cross paths, of course, places. They're not having a good time. Yeah, well, you know what I mean? Not that I feel bad for them, but, like. I mean, everything's so expensive. Who can afford to? Like, gas is like $5 a gallon where I live. I mean, some people it's like, six, seven.
Podcast Announcer
Oh, no.
Heather McMahon
It's insane.
Suzanne Lambert
Dollars. It's crazy.
Heather McMahon
I think it's truly being with this administration. It's being in a narcissistic, abusive relationship. Right. That. That is. You know, the. The little therapy work I've done. I'm like, oh, this is the biggest red flag. It's being in a narcissistic, abusive relationship, and there's nothing we can do to escape.
Suzanne Lambert
There's really not. But at the same time, it's like, there are things we can do. Like, there's.
Podcast Announcer
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Every seat in the House is up for reelection this year. Y' all make sure you're voted or registered to vote. Just Google it.
Heather McMahon
Like, register and look through the fine print, because things are changing every other hour. Just make sure your shit is up to date.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. And I wish that I had realized how important local politics are you going to be. So. So, for real, I didn't even know that, like, states had their own Senate and House. Like, there's, like, a mini government in each. I didn't. I didn't know that. You know what I mean? And those matter, actually, a lot more like your school board and, like, your local elections matter, too. Like, make sure you're voting and everything, not just the presidency.
Heather McMahon
When folks now say, like, oh, no, you know what? I can't be bothered to vote. Or it's like, this is so overwhelming. All sides are his. I'm like, no, no, no. Actually, you need to. That's some bullshit. I will call you out so quick on. On saying, well, I'm overwhelmed. I can't do this.
Podcast Announcer
I don't.
Heather McMahon
Then fuck you. Like, truly, no. Get your ass up and get to the poll. Yeah, I'm.
Suzanne Lambert
So am I. I have 80 overwhelming ADHD.
Heather McMahon
My bones are brittle. My brain is done.
Suzanne Lambert
My shoulders hurt.
Heather McMahon
My shoulders hurt.
Suzanne Lambert
And I take my Adderall and I make it happen every day. And you can vote. And if your right to vote wasn't so important, there wouldn't be so many people trying to take it away. So if it can't be empowerment that gets you to the polls, just know that someone wants to take it from you and be petty about it.
Heather McMahon
And I feel the amount I travel and the way that I. I feel so richly blessed that I get to travel so much and see other parts of the world and other different types of political atmospheres. And I'm like, other. You know, you go a lot of other places in the world, they don't have the luxury to get up and just drag themselves. Drag their ass with a mocha Frappuccino, stand in line in their fucking aloe yoga and wait an hour to vote. Like, quit your bitching car and get your ass up.
Suzanne Lambert
You're bitching, Carol. And, in fact, you might be able to vote absentee. You can. In Virginia. Can I tell you a funny story?
Heather McMahon
Tell me.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, my God. This is actually crazy. And it has a Georgia tie. George is taking over, by the way.
Heather McMahon
Georgia is taking.
Suzanne Lambert
We're just taking over. And I'm obsessed with it. So I. I Flew Delta here, obviously.
Heather McMahon
Obviously.
Suzanne Lambert
And I decided to splurge for the Delta One. I just, like, wasn't like, I've had a lot of flight anxiety because, you know, they're underfunded and understaffed at all these airports. I was like, I'm just going to go for it. And I got a spray tan that morning so that I would have it for this week. And I'm like, well, I'm in Delta 1 and I'll have my sweatpants on and it'll be totally fine. And I usually try to dress up to travel.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
But I didn't this time. This one time. So I look like shit. I get off the plane, it's like 10:30 on Monday. I check into my hotel, I turn around, the first person I see, Senator John Ossoff.
Heather McMahon
He's a.
Suzanne Lambert
From Georgia, the hottest member of Congress. Yes. No, he is. Yeah. Like, Martin Heinrich, also a senator from New Mexico.
Heather McMahon
Hot. Hottie.
Suzanne Lambert
But John Ossoff is hotter. And I say this with all the love and respect, like, totally professionally.
Heather McMahon
Right.
Suzanne Lambert
His wife is a. Like, a bad bitch.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
OBGYN in Atlanta. Like, they've been together since high school. Like, they're adorable. So I say this, like, totally.
Heather McMahon
You know, you have straight and melting through your sweat.
Suzanne Lambert
Melting.
Heather McMahon
Smell like teriyaki chicken.
Suzanne Lambert
I smelled like teriyaki chicken. I looked like actual shit. Like, my sweatpants are still stained at that point. You know, all the things. And I was like, hi, John. Like, what's up? And I was like, what the hell? Like, what are the odds?
Heather McMahon
But the days that you have a perfect blowout, the lashes are crisp, you're never going to run into the people that you need to run into.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm gonna. I want to walk around LA today and just kind of. I won't see. I. No one will look at me. They'll actually avoid eye contact.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. And that's the thing is when you put in an effort in la, they really don't know what to do. Like, you came, you put yourself together today, you look gorgeous. People in LA don't know how to make eye contact with that. In New York, they will. They're like, oh, she's fucking going places, she's doing things. But in la, they don't know how to absorb that. I actually have a funny story about John Olsef. So my mom is the easiest person to. She's the most gullible, easiest person to get to do anything. So this is probably, I don't know, like, 15 years ago. I can't even Find the ad online. My mom comes home one day, and she's like, I just did some political commercial. And I go, what do you mean he did a political commercial? My girlfriend paid me $200 to do this commercial. I go, who? What? Like, my. Like, my throat is in my asshole. And I said, what do you mean? She goes, I don't know. It's against this. I was for this guy, John Ossif. So I'm thinking, oh, okay. My mom's on a political ad, Jonas. It comes out. I'm not even kidding you, Suzanne. My mom got paid $200. She was so excited to be in a commercial, she didn't even know what it was, what political party was it was involved with. And, like, my parents, like, oh, like, old good. We're good Republicans, sure. And. But literally, it's my mom in a thick Boston accent going, john Ostaff. He's not even from here. And I'm like, you're. You're not from here, Robin. She didn't. Wait.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm obsessed with that.
Heather McMahon
She did an anti John Ossif ad. And I'm like, what? They. They skimmed the bottom of the barrel. They could not get it because John Ossif is so loved in Georgia. They could not get anybody. And they're like, you know who's desperate for some attention? Robin McMahon.
Suzanne Lambert
That's so funny.
Heather McMahon
So it became the biggest thing in all of our friends. I mean, I would have, like, my attorneys, my financial advisors, everybody. And this is years ago, before I was doing any of this, and they would just randomly send me a link, and they're like, is this your mother? I'm like, yeah, sure is.
Suzanne Lambert
So. I mean, it's very. It's giving, like Melania Trump being against immigrants 100%. Like, it's literally that. Oh, that's so funny.
Heather McMahon
She didn't know who he was, you know, who was running against him. She's like, I don't know. I got paid $200, and they put me in a commercial.
Suzanne Lambert
And you know what? That's kind of how our government running right now.
Heather McMahon
Amen. They.
Suzanne Lambert
They want to be on TV and commercials. I mean, Kristi Noem spent hundreds of millions of dollars on her Little Ice commercials.
Heather McMahon
I gotta be honest with you. I would have loved to have been a producer in Yosemite national park, watching her on a horse with the spray tan melting and the filler migrating. I would have loved to have been a part of it as a. As a. Almost like an Undercover Brother situation.
Suzanne Lambert
I know.
Heather McMahon
Secret Shopper.
Suzanne Lambert
No, Genuinely, I mean Undercover Boss. I would love to see how that set went.
Heather McMahon
I mean, what is the conversation at the Water co or by crafty, you
Suzanne Lambert
know, can you even imagine, like what is she telling the makeup artist? Do your worst.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, do your.
Suzanne Lambert
She means it and she means it.
Heather McMahon
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Suzanne Lambert
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Heather McMahon
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Suzanne Lambert
If my teenager starts calling me Leslie
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Heather McMahon
You know, I was talking about this on Instagram and I got so much shit for this, but I felt so deeply about this, you know, the whole. The whole bullshit with Cash Patel in the men's hockey locker room after they won. And I was like, women, you know, yes, we can be catty guns, but if Pam Bondi or Kristi Noem would have shown up outside of the US Women's hockey locker room after they won gold, they would have been like, no, bitches, get the fuck out of here. They would have immediately said, hey, girls, we're good, we're good. No, thank you.
Suzanne Lambert
One of them probably would have beaten her ass and I would have paid their bail or at least made a generous contribution. And like, the thing about that is, so regardless of politics, if I'm being totally objective, Imagine winning the Olympics. And you're like, someone call the FBI director. Who wants to party with the FBI director? That's actually the last person I want to party with after I win the Olympics or any time. Like, yeah, who does that?
Heather McMahon
I don't. Also, it's like, he had a lot of other things that were top priority on the list that week. Like, I don't know, finding Ms. Guthrie. Okay, what the hell? Get on it.
Suzanne Lambert
Like, literally, it was giving. Like, the kid who is only a part of the group because his parents let him have parties and he doesn't
Heather McMahon
see it, and it's in his eyes, and everyone knows.
Suzanne Lambert
Everyone knows about him. It's like, you're only a part of our friend group because your parents are cool about letting us drink at your house. But, like, everyone.
Heather McMahon
And they have a pool, and it's salt water, and we want to hang out there. And they. They're not really home because they're surgeons, and so they look the other having
Suzanne Lambert
affairs, and each of them is visiting the person they're having an affair with every other weekend. And we all just kind of pretend like it's not happening. And, yeah, you're able to have parties and, like, they don't have any cameras at their house. Dude, aren't you glad that we didn't grow up where there were cameras and everything was trackable? There was one time I told my mom I was spending the night at a friend's house, and I was at Lambda Kai at Auburn University.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. And for folks who don't know, the drive from Kennesaw to Lambda Kai at Auburn University is about two hours one night.
Suzanne Lambert
Like, I'm like, they can't do anything these days.
Heather McMahon
No. And we would have, like, field parties and do all this crazy shit. I would go down to Georgia Tech, party at the fraternities, and I still had braces. Okay. It was not. It was very suspect, the fact that we got away with any of the shit that we got away with.
Suzanne Lambert
Insane.
Heather McMahon
Insane. Honestly, it's not even what we got away with. It's. How are we still alive?
Suzanne Lambert
That. That thing. Yeah. Because it's like, my parents knew I was, like, drinking and stuff, but I wasn't doing drugs. And I was friends with, like, good kids. There were some of the bad kids that would intermix, but I wanted nothing to do with them. But I'm like, oh, my God, we absolutely could have died. There, there, there, there, there. Like, what?
Heather McMahon
I could have died at a Regal Cinema from giving a hand job by the dumpster. Like, it was just everything was sketchy that we got our hands involved in.
Suzanne Lambert
That's a hell of a way to go, though.
Heather McMahon
It really is.
Suzanne Lambert
Be honest. Wait, that's Nicole Kidman is amc. What is it? Yes, she's amc Memories or Magic is Made Here.
Heather McMahon
Hand job. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Okay, so you. You did a little. I love a little side quest in Florida, and then you moved it to D.C. so when you moved to D.C. were you immediately involved in politics or what was. What was the journey up to D.C. yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
So I've never worked in politics. So I moved to D.C. because I met a guy on a bachelorette party.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
As one does in New Orleans. And I was like, I'm obsessed with him. I'm in love with him. Like, we're gonna be together forever. I moved there. He promptly ghosted me. Sure.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Podcast Announcer
As one does.
Suzanne Lambert
But I had always wanted. Because I lived in there. I lived in Virginia for a little bit when I was younger, before we moved to Georgia. So I always knew I wanted to get back. And it was like I got a promotion at the same time. It all kind of worked out. But, no, I was. I've never worked in politics up until November 2024. I had, like, zero Hill connections. I knew more Republicans working on the Hill.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Just from being from Georgia than I did Democrats, which I don't think people really. I think people think I have a political background. And I don't.
Heather McMahon
If you went to a school in the SEC, you know, 40,000 different people on the Hill.
Suzanne Lambert
Yes.
Heather McMahon
Every single person, every Sigma Nu from the University of Mississippi would leave and then go. Either be a lobbyist or they'd work on the Hill in Washington. I mean, for every administration. That's just what you did.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's. And they make no money. Like, all of my friends working on the Hill had to have second jobs or they had rich parents. Like, one of the two. And I didn't want to work a second job, and I don't have rich parents. So I was like, okay, I guess I'm not going to do that. Which I'm so glad I didn't work in Republican politics. Holy shit.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Thank you, universe. But no. I started doing stand up, and then I would, like, talk about politics. But again, like, wasn't super involved with, like, local politics. I wasn't super informed past, like, the reading the headlines. Yes. You could say I like that.
Heather McMahon
You said earlier that you like the fight. That's what they do. You like the argument.
Suzanne Lambert
I think that, like, the art of an argument is just really exciting. I like people who are good at arguing. Yeah, I do. Even if I don't agree with your perspective, if you make good points. I, I, I find, like, debates and things fascinating.
Heather McMahon
Right.
Suzanne Lambert
It's, it's cool to see how people go back and forth and like, how are you going to outsmart them? I mean, it's kind of like comedy in a way. It's like you have to anticipate what's going to work and you have to have a response for it. But no, I, it wasn't until, I think my first time on the hill was January 2025, really. So, like, very shortly after, my audience kind of exploded online and they invited me to a Medicare briefing. Oh, my God, this is so funny.
Heather McMahon
I can only imagine how lame is a Medicare reason.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm like, googling, what is Medicare? I mean, honestly, like, I'm like, I don't know. I've always, like, just been on.
Heather McMahon
Can I tell you, just as a blanket statement, the, the meta Insurance, how you get insured, how you pay for it. None of it makes sense.
Suzanne Lambert
No, it doesn't.
Heather McMahon
And it's all very convoluted and confusing.
Suzanne Lambert
It's designed to not make sense. Exactly. So they can suck as much money out of you as possible. And if we had, like, some kind of standardized health care, that wouldn't be the case.
Heather McMahon
Case. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
Like deductibles and things like prior authorization.
Heather McMahon
Get out of here.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah, like this.
Heather McMahon
You're like, my leg is dangling off and I gotta get somebody at this doctor's office to, to authorize.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm like, they already proved it by prescribing me this medication. What? That doesn't happen in other countries. But I went to this Medicare briefing and like, I didn't, I had no idea. I didn't bring a microphone. I didn't bring a tripod. I had, like, I didn't know what the I was doing. It's just something that I've, like, I've learned, you know, the more I do it. But I also never want to be like, a buff. Like, I'm not trying to be a political expert. I look at myself as a stepping stone for people who might otherwise not really give a about politics. And I want to make it just, like, more entertaining.
Heather McMahon
So you get invited to the Medicare convention, essentially. But you were supposed to bring your microphone. What did you think that you were there to do?
Suzanne Lambert
Honestly, like, I didn't really ask a ton of questions. I think they just, that's how I,
Heather McMahon
that's how you thrive early on in your business is you just show up. And. And that did get me into. That's gotten me into trouble now. I started to ask more questions.
Suzanne Lambert
Me too. Probably not enough advice I could give
Heather McMahon
you is ask the questions.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah, no, that's. So it's good to, like, Google who the person is interviewing me before. I agree. I, like, you know, gotten in trouble a few times with that. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. Thank you for letting me know. Yeah, I didn't know what to expect. But you're just essentially, like, asking the members questions about, like, what's happening on the Hill and stuff. But they enjoy. A bunch of people were like, oh, this is Lauren. I'm like, hi, Lauren. We're talking. I'm like, oh, my God, you're such a spring. Just like I did with Tina when I got here. I love, like, analyzing people's seasons and when they're wearing the right color. I'm like, yeah, like, my OCD's like, yes, yes. This is very pleasing to behold. Like, oh, my God, you look so great. And then I get an email a few days later that's like, congresswoman Lauren Underwood wants to invite you to be her guest to the State of the Union. And I was like, oh, cool. And I look her up, and it was the woman in the green coat. She was a member of Congress. And I literally had no idea. Like, I was just chatting. They just said, lauren.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm like, hi, Lauren. Hey, girl. And I think that's.
Heather McMahon
You look like a strong winter, literally,
Suzanne Lambert
as one does on the Hill. That's why I'm there. Everyone's in black. And, like, I was wearing this, like, pink and purple plaid coat, you know, Like, I think it's important to be yourself in those spaces. And I think that sometimes, like, I'm just, like, the personality hire of the. Of the group, which is fine with me.
Heather McMahon
That's great, though. I mean, and you really did explode online. And I think. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like, like, the tipping point for you was the MAGA makeup videos.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah, it was the MAGA makeup video. And then I. I did a video where I talked about, like, being a Regina George liberal, and I talked about, like, being an ex sec sorority girl. I'm like, we have a lot of retired mean girls, kind of, and we need to channel some of that energy.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
And I honestly, it was one of those things where I'm like, I think this will resonate. Resonate with the right people. It might also, like, blow up in my face because people are so sensitive online.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. What is the wildest. And listen, I. I will get a fair amount of hate just for even the dumbest. Like, somebody get pissed about my highlights the other day. You're like, can a bitch.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, my God. Someone. Someone tried to say that I was embracing white supremacy when I said that I missed having blonde hair. And, like, my black friends in this space were like, you're being crazy. Yeah, we like her with the blonde hair. It's again, it's always a From Connecticut.
Heather McMahon
The from Connecticut that you cannot please.
Suzanne Lambert
Really need to unpack. I'm like, you need to read. Read fewer books and go to the club.
Heather McMahon
When somebody stop reading, unpack. I go. I stay. Packed my bags. My bags are packed. I'm not unpacking shit. Because you have too much time on your hands.
Suzanne Lambert
Nope. And I have a carry on, and I have a checked bag, and it's heavy and overweight, and I don't want to hear shoes.
Heather McMahon
Okay. We both walked in with nice pink leather bags, so shut the up, Connecticut Carol.
Suzanne Lambert
Literally, shut. Shut up.
Heather McMahon
Oh, my God. Yeah. But, I mean, obviously having a very strong stance. I'm sure you've had the craziest of crazies, and if you don't feel comfortable sharing.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, no, I love it.
Heather McMahon
But what is the wildest reaction that you've gotten even behind the scenes? Like, oh, oh, anything scary? Anything crazy?
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, definitely scary. Like, I had people kind of geotag, like, my address and things like that. I had to, like, hire a security team to kind of walk through my house and, like, point out where things were not secure anymore. These, like, services to remove my information.
Heather McMahon
And you're, like, starting to stare at the microwave a little funny.
Suzanne Lambert
Like, is it? No, literally, I. I got rid of, like, a lot of, like, my, like, Alexas and things like that.
Heather McMahon
No, I never. Never. See, I never dabbled.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah, you were always like, don't have your laptop in your.
Heather McMahon
In your lap. I'm like, she's frying your.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm like, you know what? She might be cooking with that because I do have endometriosis. So, like, I don't know. Yeah, the craziest thing. So it's usually from people on the left, honestly, that make me laugh my ass off. So I did a video. Oh, my God, this was so funny. I did a video last year, and it was, like, kind of corny, but I was basically like, this trope that the cool kids in high school Grow up to be like, absolute flop losers is not actually true. And that's like a coping mechanism that a lot of you, I think, need to, like, work through as adults. Because I think that's something your parents told you in high school.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
To make you feel better. And it's like, essentially weird to like, like, still be hanging on to that because there's so many videos where it's like, the person from your high school. The person from your high school. Like, I was just presenting an alternate perspective. Like. And actually a lot of the kids in high school who were like, not the cool ones were like the meanest once and they grew up to be the Connecticut Carols who were just like,
Podcast Announcer
there was nothing worse.
Suzanne Lambert
Suckers.
Heather McMahon
There was nothing worse than somebody who wasn't in. In the honors program and was a total nightmare.
Suzanne Lambert
Total. Yeah. And I was in the honors program and I was not. AP classes.
Heather McMahon
I was not.
Suzanne Lambert
And they didn't, like, think that I deserved to be there. Isn't it funny how we can always feel like we're. We're not. We're not supposed to be in stand up comedy spaces. We're not supposed to. I'm like, where do you want me to be?
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
You want me to be at. At the January 6th. Is that where, like. Cause that's where women like me go if I wasn't doing comedy or like in my AP classes.
Heather McMahon
I tell you, you know, I'm doing new bits about, like, how I could have seen myself ended up on Epstein island. Just. Cause the party sound like I would have done no research. You know, I love a pizza party. I would've been like, pizza? Oh, great, okay. But I also feel like if somebody would. I mean, Tina's birthday's January 6th. Somebody was like, hey, we're meeting. We're all dressing in camo. It's a themed party. And, you know, and I've had a couple white wines. I could see myself. Next thing, I'm like, like, we're going in. I think they've removed the red velvet rope. I'm like, guys, we're going in. You know, I wouldn't be at the front of the line, but if. If I saw people going in, I'd be like, this is awesome. They're letting us in. Like. Like, it's bergain. The night in Germany.
Suzanne Lambert
Yes. Like, night at the museum. Vibes, you know, and we're going to steal the Declaration of Independence.
Heather McMahon
I can't believe they're letting us in. Let's go.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. No. And the funniest part about that is, like, the security at the Capitol is so lax. It's, like, not even as. As complex as it is at, like, the airport. I'm like, y' all didn't have to do all that. You could have just walked in.
Heather McMahon
You could have just walked in.
Suzanne Lambert
It's, like, actually really easy to get in there.
Heather McMahon
I've been in the White House a couple times, and not to touch on the security of the White House, but there were moments where I'm like, this is like. I see rats running around like. Like there. I mean, I am not supporting the ballroom, but I was like, we could have done a fresh paint job. I'm not gonna lie.
Suzanne Lambert
No. 100. It's not as nice you think, but sorry. Long winded. So I made that video, and people, like, lost their minds at that video. And then this girl from my high school made a video and was like, now that I've seen that video of Suzanne's, I want to talk about, like, she was the cruelest person I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. I'm like, who is this chick? I'm, like, texting people from high school. I'm like, do you know who this is? Whatever. And the. The terrible, terrible thing that I did to her was that she was, like, kind of pissing us off at a football game. And I get, allegedly, this does sound like me, and it's hilarious, and I stand by it. I offered her a spray tan coupon in the hallway because she came to a whiteout game with, like, paint all over her, and she got paint all over all of her clothes. So she tried to say I was just, like, terrible bully. And I wasn't a bully at all. I was a bitch. I wasn't a bully. Yeah, there's a big difference.
Heather McMahon
Big difference.
Suzanne Lambert
And, like, hot take. I think young women, like, should be a little bitchy. I think it helps you kind of grow up in a world that's not designed for you. Like. Like, I have a daughter. I hope she's a little bit of a bitch.
Heather McMahon
I had someone once comment, this girl who I didn't even never knew I had beef with. And I. I grew up in a very small, like, kindergarten through 12th grade. She told me that one time in the fifth grade, I had. I had done a. I don't even know how to. To. To set this up. She said that I had a fifth grade microaggression. I said, hey, I'm gonna change her name. I'm just gonna say Lindsay. I said, lindsay, do you Think anybody in the the fifth grade knew what a fucking microaggression was? Do you think that my frontal lobe was developed enough to be aggressive, like, microscopically? What are you talking about, a microaggression in fifth grade, Bitch? Yeah, I was eating the. The funfetti animal crackers and like, ready hoping I didn't shit my pants on the playground. What are you talking about? A fifth grade microaggression?
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. Like, okay, I had a fifth grade microaggression, and you are a 35 year old macro loser. We're still thinking about it. And I also already said I was like, I used to be a. Like I said I was very upfront about all my. I'm like, you're not gonna cancel me later. And it totally backfired. Even people who don't like me were like, girl, I was really prepared to be on your side, but this is like, nothing.
Heather McMahon
This is nothing.
Suzanne Lambert
And then she deleted it. Another really funny one was I was holding a photo of a fish that I caught, was very proud of my fish, and someone accused me of speciesism.
Heather McMahon
I'm sorry, come again? Speciesism. And I'm like, that's kind of like the bimbification thing. Like, I don't. We don't know what that is.
Suzanne Lambert
And I'm like, do I think that humans are better than fish? I'm gonna say, yeah. I'm gonna say, yeah, I love a
Heather McMahon
nice Alaskan salmon or a good grouper. But I'm gonna say, I think we're at the top of the food chain.
Suzanne Lambert
I do think that. And if that makes me problematic in some way, I'll wear that badge with honor, I guess.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, you can't please everybody, you know, And. And. And that is. Obviously, I've had fans that have said, oh, God, you know what?
Podcast Announcer
Actually, I kind of want to say this.
Heather McMahon
It. I'm going to say it after my Fort Worth show. And I love performing in Fort Worth. And they were a great audience. And I had like two MAGA jokes. This one woman who was hammered came up to Christina, and I think my
Podcast Announcer
husband was Jeff standing right there.
Heather McMahon
No, it was like the manager of the bar. The manager of the bar. And she grabbed the man, the manager of the bar, and she goes, you need to tell Heather. She's got it. She's gone too political. I'm like. Because I had two MAGA jokes. I was like, like, you need to calm the down. And also, do not ever tell me
Podcast Announcer
what I can and can't say.
Heather McMahon
Sorry.
Suzanne Lambert
That. That I would rather lose every Follower, every brand, deal, sponsorship, whatever. Before I had people telling me what I could and couldn't say.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, yeah, it's, it's crazy. And Tina, Tina was ready to fight. And Tina, I was like, dina, we gotta wrap this.
Suzanne Lambert
And the theater manager's like, yeah, no, we're having her back. This is a great sold out show. Like, you're an idiot. And I do just want to say, like, I so appreciate that you brought politics more into the fold because I don't think people realize like, how risky that is.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
For an entertainer and with someone with your audience, like, you didn't have to do that. And I really appreciate that you have because that's sweet.
Heather McMahon
But also I'm like, that is what is going on in the world, you
Suzanne Lambert
know, and people still aren't doing that.
Heather McMahon
And there's some comics who are like, oh, I don't say anything, you know, and I'm not getting up and lecturing people. I'm talking about, like, what has happened from my perspective. And then the judgment that people have on me. The joke is always back on me.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah, totally.
Heather McMahon
And you know, I don't think you get a gold star in comedy for not saying anything. And so be like, well, I'm not political. I don't say this, I don't care. I'm like, you get a gold star for that. I'm confused. So, I mean, and obviously, like comedy, when people come to my show, I want them to disassociate and have a fucking laugh and to giggle and have a sense of community for 90 minutes. But also, like, we have to keep our feet a little bit in the water and like, like, or like on the ground, grounded a little bit because you're still going to leave and open your phone and the shit's still happening.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. And I don't think, I think that's such a lame way for a comedian to be. To me, it's. I'm like, I'm like, you're fearful. Yeah, comedians are fearful. If comedians are fearful, who do we have left? And I'm with you. Like, I'm not lecturing people. Like, do what you gotta do.
Podcast Announcer
Just so you know, May is mental health awareness month. And this is a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a journey. And some days feel good and other days feel completely overwhelming. But whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel that you have to figure it out all on your own. But the truth is, no One has all the answers and no journey should be alone. Having someone go with you to listen to, understand and support you makes all the difference. And that's why I love BetterHelp. Okay, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp and that's important. BetterHelp is great because quality therapists are just truly important. BetterHelp therapists work according to the strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, and our 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. And if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time for a tailored recommendation. Again, BetterHelp's just the best. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone go with you through your therapy journey. Sign up again 10 off@betterhelp.com Absolutely. That's better. H E L P.com Absolutely. Again, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp and you will freaking love better help. So check it out. Go to betterhelp. H E L P.com Absolutely. And sign up to get 10 off@betterhelp.com Absolutely.
Heather McMahon
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Heather McMahon
But Chrissy Noem's husband doing bimbification.
Suzanne Lambert
Give me a break.
Heather McMahon
With fake titties on. That is. I mean, that's the other thing I do feel like, we are living in an episode of Curb every day. And Veep was one of my favorite TV shows of all time. And I've been rewatching it for, like, the 10th time. And I'm like, this was already written. Like, this. We are living in an episode of Curb meets Veep. This is truly the world that we're living in.
Suzanne Lambert
It's not real. I was like, clear my schedule. I have jokes about fake TV tits to make. Like, I'm not this. I'm locked in on this all day. It's better than anything that we could ever invent.
Heather McMahon
I mean, did Christy. Did Christy gnome. No. Like, did you think she ever woke up? And one day I was like, God damn it.
Suzanne Lambert
The tea on them. And I don't know if, you know, this is, like, she's, like, very much having allegedly an affair with Corey Lewandowski.
Heather McMahon
I heard that. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
And, like, this is, like, well known. Like, he was photographed taking out the trash at her house.
Heather McMahon
Oh, that's how they get. Did nobody watch House of Cards? You have to have somebody else take out the trash.
Suzanne Lambert
Right. Like, hello. Don't get your real name on the Starbucks cup. Like, there's all these guardrails in place. Yeah. So I. The timing of it all is very suspect. I'm wondering if she and Corey just, like, want to be together for real. So she. But apparently it was an immigrant that Corey or Kristi Noam's husband had been messaging that leaked the messages. So it all. It all comes back around. But I think that she just wants to be with Corey. So she leaked it so they. So she can divorce him.
Heather McMahon
Oh, yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
They can live a happy life.
Heather McMahon
He was. He was a freak in hot pink bike shorts. Look at this. Living a double life. And now I have an excuse in the eyes of, like, the super religious right to divorce.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. She said he was shocked. I'm like. Or she was shocked.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. Honey, you ain't shocked.
Suzanne Lambert
No, you're not.
Heather McMahon
You're not shocked.
Suzanne Lambert
And also, what kind of, like, government employee are you if you're, like, in charge of security and you don't know that you're. You don't know that your husband is strapping on two pairs of H cups. Yeah, those were H cups.
Heather McMahon
And. And I. I've often thought, like, you know, if you're gonna dabble in that, if you're gonna cross dress. Like, if you're. Guys, if you're out there and you're ever thinking about transitioning or cross dressing, please call me first, because as a woman, with large shoulders and enormous breasts. I want to make sure that you're set up for success. I will walk you through. Maybe we don't start with H. Maybe we go heavy seat. I think we do a custom, and then we lean in under the muscle. Under the muscle. Always just call me. I'm happy to consult because I am, you know, I get called man all the time. Misgendered online. That's what people do.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, no, I get that, too.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. They love to say because I have a strong voice and very broad shoulders, that that's their favorite insult. And I'm like, I'm happy to go shopping with you. I'm happy to make sure the sweaters are fitting, you've got the right bra, and you feel comfortable. Call me. I'll go with you anytime.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. And don't look to your wife Christy for help with makeup and hair. The dollar tree hair extensions are just not doing it. It's bad not doing it.
Heather McMahon
They're not doing it. Since you started touring, now you're doing shows all over the country, correct?
Suzanne Lambert
Yes.
Heather McMahon
And let's talk about some of your favorite markets, because we were talking off camera, like, I. We were saying we love Chicago. Chicago is one of the best comedy cities. It. And I have had very mixed audiences there where I. I've said things and I've. You know, people have had a very strong opinion one way or the other, but they get it. They're down to sit in a melting pot and just have a fucking conversation and to giggle.
Suzanne Lambert
Yes. And I feel like they don't take things super personally. Like, they're just a fun crowd. I love Chicago. I love performing in Atlanta.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
I love New York City.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
I mean, I think some of the smaller markets, like, I did Greenville, South Carolina, and that was super fun.
Heather McMahon
Like, really, anywhere that you've been that surprised you?
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, that's a great question. Boston was interesting.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
They took a little longer to warm up. Up, like, even more so than D.C. like, D.C. people aren't going to be as engaging with some of the. Some of the jokes because people are, like, nervous to be seen laughing in D.C. yeah. Especially these, like, that's a good government employees. And like, even if. Even if you're not, like, who here smokes weed? They don't even want to laugh about a joke where you talk about weed because it's like they have seven security clearances. Right, right. And I'm like, well, I'm past, like, gainful employment at this point, so I can just say whatever.
Heather McMahon
Right?
Suzanne Lambert
Those days are long gone behind me. Right. So I would say, but Boston, they were, like, a little stiffer, actually. This was so funny. And this wasn't a show that I was headlining. This was. I was on the lineup for it, but I was featuring, and they introduced me as a female comedian. And they weren't being funny. They were like, next up, we have a female comedian. No, you're feature.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, a female comedian.
Suzanne Lambert
Female comedian. And I. And I got them and I was with Warm Blood.
Heather McMahon
And I'm like, what does this mean?
Suzanne Lambert
And I was like, let's go. Like, it just really fired me up. And I, like, grabbed the mic and I was like, as opposed to a real comedian. Like, so sorry. You should have gotten discounts on your ticket. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I would say Boston, like, they took a little longer to warm up, but they were still, like a good natured audience.
Heather McMahon
Boston is also. They're just 24 hour drunk. That's what you need to know. And when you start doing the theaters there, you need to understand it's such a strong union town. The best piece of advice is you go in, you bring donuts to the guys, the stagehands, you maybe show them like, a little nip slip or a little leg.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, I'll do it. Yeah.
Heather McMahon
I still will do that.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, yeah.
Heather McMahon
I'm like, sorry, guys. Oh, my God, my bags are so heavy.
Suzanne Lambert
I'm not that woke.
Heather McMahon
But like, little lady, we got you. Oh, yeah. Treats. And then like, what do you need? And they'll.
Suzanne Lambert
And they'll die for you. Yeah, they'll die and they'll kill for you.
Heather McMahon
Honestly, they will.
Suzanne Lambert
You want them to?
Heather McMahon
Yeah, I mean, it's very, very much so. Like, I need your help with something and you can't ask questions kind of vibe. Like, it's. It's. It's definitely Ben Affleck. Is that from the town? When he's like. When he asked Jeremy Renner, he's like,
Podcast Announcer
I need your help with something, and
Heather McMahon
you can't ask any questions. I feel like it's from the town. But yes, just so Boston once. I mean, my mom's from Boston. My family's there. Once you lean in and you give them what they need, they'll always be behind.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. And I think it's fun to just like, learn the different crowds and learn what they laugh at and what works and, you know, winning them over.
Heather McMahon
So you've had enough of the cuckoos online. Anybody done anything crazy at any of the shows?
Suzanne Lambert
No, And I wish a Would.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
God, I wish I would. But also, we.
Heather McMahon
We were praying for safety.
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Heather McMahon
I mean, because it is scary times. Oh, no, totally. But yes. But yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
I mean, no, no one has. And they'll always threaten it. I'm like, come on over, babe. You got a bunch of drunk white women drinking doubles of tequila who are ready to pop off at a moment.
Heather McMahon
They're all on a sharp GLP1. And Alexa Pro. You have no idea the mood swing in this room.
Suzanne Lambert
They are not on earth. They are levitating somewhere above it.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
So much Adderall and angst about the state of the country. I'm like, come on over. But no, no one ever tries anything. And like, honestly, a lot of it has subsided. Yeah. I would say. Which is good.
Heather McMahon
And I do think, like, when you're doing a forward facing video online and you have a very quick, quick thought and a very pointed point of view. Obviously, like, when you're doing comedy, it's more well rounded. Like stand up is a more. Well. Or it's just. It's, you know, you're telling a longer story. It's a. It's a different situation. Anybody can click on anything and get angry about it.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. And I'm like, a lot of these people, I'm like, I think if you met me and had a conversation with me, you'd actually like me.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. You know, like, I don't know. Huge, huge nightmare as far. That's the vibe I'm getting.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah.
Ad/Promo Voice 2
You know what I mean?
Suzanne Lambert
I'm like. I'm like, they'll accuse me of all these things, like, weird things, like, you're being paid by the dnc, whatever. And I'm like, I just learned that there's a state Senate.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
A few days ago. If I'm a secret operative, that's really concerning.
Heather McMahon
Also, I've been doing so much free press for the Democratic Party. Please send me a chat. Please. I'd love my reparation.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah, right. We, as white women, God, we understand
Heather McMahon
we need checks from the Democrats.
Suzanne Lambert
It's hard to be a white woman.
Heather McMahon
You know, we are putting ourselves out on the line right now, and we are not getting paid. Kamala, this is. This is why.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. Right.
Heather McMahon
Ms. Harris, this is what happened. If you would have paid me, I maybe. You maybe would have won.
Suzanne Lambert
And that's what I'm saying.
Heather McMahon
They don't get it. What is your. I always love to ask performers, what is your. Your moment of Zen before you go out or when you're even doing Stuff on the hill. How do you. What do you do to focus and get ready?
Suzanne Lambert
Something that's really important for me. Yeah. I need quiet. I usually will go to a coffee shop. It's always a coffee shop. And I'll just kind of like, organize my thoughts and just kind of like. Like sit there with headphones in. Sometimes I don't even have music on, but just like, kind of get in the zone. And I love, like, a solo ride to the venue if I can. Like, that 15 minutes to just kind of lock in and get in that headspace for performing is really valuable if I can get that.
Heather McMahon
Do you have any, like, pre show playlists?
Suzanne Lambert
Oh, yeah, I have this playlist. It's amazing. It's called betchy and catchy.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
And it's all just like, I'm a badass. It's like the playlist we play too.
Heather McMahon
Like, and it's just Bruno Mars.
Suzanne Lambert
It's Megan the Stallion. Not gonna lie. There's. There's a lot of Nikki on there I haven't taken off. I'm having a really hard time parting from her. Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Can I tell you, we were talking about this yesterday. I'm like, we should have known Nikki was gonna teeter Roman's Revenge. She did an entire album where it's like a dungeon dragon. Like, she had a manic episode on an entire album, and we didn't think she was one day just gonna, you know, pop off. Like, what did we think was gonna
Suzanne Lambert
happen in real time? And we were like, guys, be nice. She has multiple persons. See, we got too woke there for a second. I'm like, listen, let's.
Heather McMahon
We got a king shame. We're like, hey, Nikki, are you Roman today or are you Nicole? Because we gotta figure out what you're doing. You're scaring everybody in the room.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. What are we. What are we doing here, girl?
Heather McMahon
Yeah. And as somebody who loves to wear wigs and be characters, I too, some people, my friends, will be like, you're being a little. You being a little cuckoo today. And I'm like, guys, I just need to put the wig on and feel something. But, yeah, nothing scarier than a Roman's Revenge hard pivot.
Suzanne Lambert
No, it was. It's crazy. Yeah. So I listen to just, like, some uplifting music, and then I try not to, like. Like, I try not to like, scroll or anything like that. Just, like, try to be present, like, chat with, like, you know, the other comics, like, in the green room.
Podcast Announcer
Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert
You know who comes, which is always.
Heather McMahon
That's a Roll of a dice. So they're like, here. Here comes. Here comes the female comic. I can't, dude.
Suzanne Lambert
It's crazy. But that's also why I love to be able to, like, now headline and produce my own shows, because there's power in that. There's so much power in that. I can hire who I want. I can pay what I want. Because the amounts that venues have suggested that I pay to talent is, like, shockingly low. I mean, like. Like, they were like, oh, yeah. For a host, we typically recommend you pay them 75. I was like, $75 to work for, like, three hours. Like, you're working really hard. Their Uber probably costs that.
Heather McMahon
Like, no, I don't want you to say this, though, because I don't want my. Anybody who opens for me to think that they're getting paid more than 75. I'm kidding. Y'. All. Y' all know I pay the most in the business.
Suzanne Lambert
Yeah. And I actually had someone, like, it was. It was interesting. She was like, you know, people, like, you're paying a lot more than what people normally pay. And I'm like, like, no, I know. And she's like, just don't pay the white guys this.
Heather McMahon
Josh agrees. We got Josh back on her side,
Suzanne Lambert
and she was like, just don't pay the white guys this. And I'm like, okay, valid. But I am having a white man host my show at the Improv later this month. But he's gay. He's gay, so it's fine. You gotta have something in there.
Heather McMahon
I travel. I travel with one white and one. Ray's half Chinese, half Mexican, but he really does love to let me know that he got the Irish in him. And I'm like, well, then you're white, right? So I'm just saying. Got a little white in you, so I don't want to hear it. And I. There's nothing better in my life than watching Andrew and Rhea just bicker back and forth in a car. And it just brings Tina and I so much joy. If they don't even realize it's actually a social experiment. We're just sitting back because we need that. But I like to keep the men around me. Obviously, I'm always supporting other female comics, but I just. I love to watch the gays and the straights just duke it out on the radio.
Suzanne Lambert
It's so fun.
Podcast Announcer
It's cathartic.
Suzanne Lambert
And I think you and I both have comedy that, like, still resonates a lot with men, too. Like, a lot of, like, male listeners.
Heather McMahon
And I Always say what? I want all the guys to come to the show. Like, for everyone. The joke's on everyone. We're all living in this, the cesspool together. And. And we. And also I always say when the men come to the show, it takes so little to support the wife. I used to get so fucking pissed and I would. I'd be at the meet and greets afterwards and a guy be like, yeah, my wife drugged me, but I had a great time. Damn, I didn't know who you were. My wife drugged me here, but I had a great time. I said, you don't need to be drug anywhere. This sounds like you're here against your will. I want you to be here consensually, but also, how many fucking Raiders games has she been to and didn't want
Podcast Announcer
to fucking go to?
Heather McMahon
We support your sports. You can sit here for 90 minutes and take. Give her a night out. And then. Yeah, imagine that. A female comedian can be fun, right?
Suzanne Lambert
I like, do you know, and also, how many dudes have I listened to perform comedy willingly? And I never had to be like. Like, my husband drove drug me here. My boyfriend drug me here, like, ever. It's like, dude, you should be able to laugh at women.
Heather McMahon
Just laugh at women. Because honestly.
Suzanne Lambert
And you're. We are funny.
Heather McMahon
We are because we're also sad. And that's really what it comes down to. Suzanne, when can everybody find you? Are you on the road?
Suzanne Lambert
Right now I will be announcing the leg of my Mean But True live tour.
Heather McMahon
Love it.
Suzanne Lambert
Very soon it'll be east coast first, but they can find me my podcast, Mean but True. Yeah, every Tuesday.
Heather McMahon
Great.
Suzanne Lambert
Would love if they hit us up. Subscribe. I'm on all platforms. Suzanne Lambert.
Heather McMahon
Perfect. I love it. From one sorority girl, you know, doing the Lord's work, now to another, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it. Good luck with everything. And hey, keep fighting that good fight. And remember, you can find us always at the Absolutely not podcast. Call into the hotline 800-213-7503.
Podcast Announcer
I will see you on the next episode. Ciao, Bella.
Heather McMahon
Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. Don't forget to subscribe, rate us and leave a review. And as always, follow me on Instagram at heatherkmcmahon.
Podcast Announcer
See you guys soon.
Heather McMahon
Sat.
Podcast by Dear Media | Host: Heather McMahon | Guest: Suzanne Lambert | May 6, 2026
In this episode, comedian Heather McMahon welcomes viral political comic Suzanne Lambert to the studio. The two Southern women—both with deep Georgia roots—dive into their complex personal journeys through southern culture, politics, and comedy, unpacking topics from political pivots and social media fame to women in stand-up, online harassment, and current events. The episode is a candid, humorous, and sometimes biting reflection on how to reconcile past perspectives with present-day realities.
Notable Quote:
"If you're going to be insufferable, you need to be the most insufferable."
—Suzanne Lambert (01:55)
Notable Quote:
“Minds can change, things can change, policies change. I didn't know about shit until I learned about it.”
—Heather McMahon (02:52)
Notable Quote:
“I’m an equal opportunist—making fun of, you know, people.”
—Suzanne Lambert (09:39)
Notable Quotes:
“I was a bitch. I wasn’t a bully. There’s a big difference.”
—Suzanne Lambert (41:05)
“Do you think my frontal lobe was developed enough to be aggressive, like, microscopically? What are you talking about, a microaggression in fifth grade, bitch?”
—Heather McMahon (41:16)
Notable Quote:
“I would rather lose every follower, every brand deal, sponsorship, whatever, before I had people telling me what I could and couldn’t say.”
—Suzanne Lambert (43:32)
On outgrowing old beliefs:
“Here's everything. Like, I used to be a conservative. I thought all these things I don't think that anymore. That's actually really normal, and we should encourage that.” —Suzanne Lambert (03:37)
On burnout and the news cycle:
“You cannot tell me that you don't get up every day and even open your phone and want to throw it in the river and set your body on fire.” —Heather McMahon (14:44)
On sororities and shade:
“Stop calling Christine Ohm Ice Barbie. That is a compliment. All she hears is Barbie. Call her Ice Cabbage Patch. Or Garbage Pail Kid.” —Suzanne Lambert (06:12)
On the state of politics:
“It's being in a narcissistic, abusive relationship, and there's nothing we can do to escape.” —Heather McMahon (15:41)
On the risks of political comedy:
“I so appreciate that you brought politics more into the fold, because I don’t think people realize how risky that is.” —Suzanne Lambert (43:58)
On female comics and male audiences:
“For everyone. The joke's on everyone. We're all living in this, the cesspool together.” —Heather McMahon (61:07)
This episode is a whirlwind tour through politics, Southern coming-of-age, female friendship, stand-up life, and the exhausting news cycle. Heather and Suzanne are deeply self-aware, playful, and unafraid to call out both right-wing hypocrisy and left-wing sanctimony. For listeners, it’s a good laugh, a sharp dose of real talk, and a rallying cry to show up, speak up, and not take yourself too seriously along the way.
Find Suzanne Lambert:
Listener Reminder:
Get involved, vote, and support women in comedy. And thanks for listening to Absolutely Not!