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The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most and the least at the same damn time. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. I want to start a fire. Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely not podcast. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. Is she glowing? Does she look fab? Is she feeling herself? She is. She is. Because I had one of the coolest. I had the coolest three days of my life. We have so much to get into. When I tell you my attitude, I turned that frown upside down and I had. God, we have so much to discuss. I hope you're having a good week. And if you're not having a good week, just lean in with me with a little positivity right now because, man, we got a lot to discuss. And I was thinking about it on the flight back from London yesterday. I was thinking about. I understand, like most people on podcast have these like hard hitting interviews where you learn something cultural or you talk to somebody about how the world works. And I do know that some of these solo episodes can just be very self indulgent, but it's like I'm bringing you along this ride of life with me. I mean, I already hate how cheesy this sounds, but y' all have been with me for the last, what, six, seven years on this journey. So win for me is a win for you. I feel like when. When we're checking things off the list of goals and life accomplishments, I'm doing it with you. So I hope you don't mind if I'm a little self indulgent today. And I just walk you through what happened this last couple days in Europe. Cause it was incredible. Sorry, the uk Brexit, it's. I don't understand it. Okay, But I'm wearing my Pitbull T shirt. Okay. And literally on the back it just says Mr. Worldwide Pitbull Dahle. Like you don't need anything else. When the guy who was creating the merch sent over the preview of what Could Be, that's all you needed to see. If I was Armando, if I was Pitbull, I would've been like, yeah, gets right to the point. Ha ha. Mr. Worldwide Pitbull Dale. Okay, like, good. Like that's all you need. It's a wrap. It's the only thing you ever need on a T shirt. And you just need his bald head on the front and that's it. So if you're just tuning in, I got to be a part of one of the coolest experiences of my life. All the other fellow baldies broke the Guinness Book world records at the Pitbull show in Hyde park in London this past weekend. And it was incredible. The performers were insane. I'm talking Little John, Keny, Tempa, and if you don't know Tiny Tempe, then you never, you don't know. And you got to get across the pond. And then of course, the one and only, the icon, the living legend himself, Pitbull. And when he called me, I talked about this on last week's episode, he called me and he's like, hey, I really want you to be a part of this. Like, I love your bits that you do about me and I know that you've been very, very influential in getting people to go to shows and concerts because you've been dressing up in drag as me for years. Like would love to have you a part of it. So I hosted a live stream with Live Nation with a couple other folks from, you know, the British, the BBC one and the radio, and personalities from the uk and it was insane. I wanna give a big shout out to Sally and Gemma, who were my makeup artists, incredible makeup artists who really just knocked it out of the park. But I feel like, fuck, I'm so excited. I feel like I'm getting out of order. Let's just go right into Pitbull though. It was incredible. It took about two and a half hours to get ready and I was so excited and I walked out the door and I get in the car to head to Hyde park and the concert is kind of an all day concert, but Pitbull is not going on stage until I believe like eight or nine. And I'm arriving there around four, so I am, I am. As soon as they do that last little bit of spirit gum on the back of the neck to get this, this bald cap down, I am counting down the moments like Cinderella. Like when the glass slipper falls off and the clock strikes midnight. This carriage is going to be a pumpkin and your girl's head is going to split the fuck open, okay? And I already cut off a lot of my hair extensions, so I am slicked down. I am like a Slytherin, just greasy. Then 18 layers of makeup. But I know that as soon as I put on that, that white blazer, the clock is ticking. We gotta get there, we gotta do our job. Cause I'm not gonna last long. And it was super hot in the, in London. They were already going through a heat wave, so. So I want you to imagine Like, I'm already a head sweater. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a breast sweater and a head sweater. And I want you to imagine what it's like to have latex and, and thick, intense makeup on your. The place where you sweat the most. And they'd already slicked down my braid and then I kind of had like a dreadlock going down the back of my neck like a lizard's tail. And it just was getting sweatier and sweatier and the sweat was trapped. And then I could feel at one point, like the first hour in, I could feel little beads of sweat that were somehow just dripping down like a ball sack down my back. But the ball sack started at the nape of my neck and just started to drip down. It was the wildest feeling because there was nowhere for it to go. But it found like a tiny little opening, a little crevice right where the ball cap ended and my braid began. And it was feral. Okay, so we get there and I. And we get in the car and we are headed towards Hyde Park. And I'm immediately overwhelmed because I see thousands of people walking to Hyde park dressed as him. And it really was a little bit of an emotional moment for me. I'm like, I can't believe that this is happening. I've always said I was a trendsetter. I always said that I, I start the party, okay, I'm never the last one at the party, but I will start that shit. And I'm in the car. Christina and Sally, our makeup artists. And I'm looking around, I'm just going, this is insane. I saw 55 pregnant women in white button downs, black ties, bald caps, sole patches, stippled on half beards. I mean, it just was unreal. And it was like silly, stupid, just joyful fun that I don't think I've had in a minute. It was the most, the most joyful fun. People were there to just fucking giggle and laugh and dance and watch Pitbull do his thing and shake his hips to coolo. It does not get better than that. It does not get better than that. So we get to Hyde park and I am immediately like, you know, grab a microphone. I am running around with the camera crew and we are interviewing people, people in the audience. Because at first. So the Guinness Book World Records is actually wildly specific. Like there were specific regulations that you had to check off and you had to abide by in order for you to be counted into the bigger count. Now mind you, this is a sold out show in Hyde park for like, 75,000 fans. And I do believe the number, the final number should have been way higher, but it was simply because people didn't line up in time or they came to the show a little bit later or whatnot. There was a. A lot of minutiae, a lot of. A lot of things going on. But in order to be actually counted for the Guinness Book of World Records, it was very specific. So you could not have any hair showing on the front, and all your hair underneath your bald cap had to be tucked in. So there was no hairline. Right. It could hang out the back, but it had to be completely covered in order for it to be a bald cap. Also, if you were already bald or if you brought your baby, that did not count. They had to be physically wearing a bald cap. So the count is furs. And then I'm up in this. I don't even know how to describe it. Like a tower. Like a. Like a sports tower. Like if you were watching a football game and I would be commentating down below. I am walking through the crowd, though, with a camera crew. People are stopping me because they think I'm actually Pitbull. At one point, we have one security guard with us. I start to get a little not nervous, but people are literally like, that's him. Oh, my God. Like, a crowd starts forming around as we are brick walking to this, like, tower that I was going to be reporting live from for most of this live stream leading up to the Guinness Book of World Records, count for the most amount of people in ball caps. And I've got a couple producers with me, Tina's with me, Sally, our makeup artist with me. And we're crying, laughing. I'm like, how the fuck do these people think that I'm actually him? But I realize I really do look like him. And, you know, if you saw the photo of. If you saw any of the photos that I posted me with Armando, AKA Pitbull, my biggest takeaway and what most people said is, I'm starting to look more like Pitbull than Pitbull looks like himself. Does that make sense? Like, I'm actually Pitbull. Pitbull's grown a beard. He is no longer Pitbull. I am Pitbull. I look more like him than he looks like him. And sometimes that happens. So I'm walking through the crowd. People are going nuts. And I thought, this is so funny to me that everyone actually thinks that I'm Pitbull now. It's a testament to how good the Makeup was. And then I would grab the microphone and be like, no, it's. I'm a woman. I have white acrylic nails on. I'm a woman. And a couple drunk guys like, oh, shit. Didn't see that coming, did you, Ronnie? Did you see it coming? I sure didn't. It's a woman. Show me your tits. So halfway, while I'm walking through the crowd, I'm just, like, showing booby so everybody knows I am not actually Mr. Worldwide. He is backstage, probably having a nice little meal so he can get his energy up to grinding out on stage. So we do the whole livestream. And I had been promised that I was going to get, that I was gonna be able to meet him. But I knew that this is right before showtime. I'm like, how? How the hell am I gonna meet him? It's not gonna happen. And I wanna give a big shout out to my agent, Jackie, my touring agent. She is a ball buster and a badass, and she is. I adore her. She made it happen. And it was probably about, I don't know, 20 minutes before he goes out on stage, which I never like to see anybody before I perform. I'm like, let me be in the zone. He's such a seasoned profession. He's like, 75,000 people in Hyde park, please. I got this. So he comes out of his trailer, he gives me the biggest hug. We are laughing. He tells me he loves the sketch that I did, you know, talking about his shows and making fun of him in the best way. And I said, listen, I need you to know something. I was sitting in my office, like, a couple days ago, and I'm looking at this flag that I have of you with all your words of affirmation, all your crazy manifestation sayings. And I can't believe that, like, we made this happen. He's like, I believe in that shit. That shit is real. You're fucking fabulous. He's like, let's get some photos. And then he takes his hat, he has a cowboy hat, and he put. Listen, we. We back and forth, banter for a little bit. I'm out of body. I'm levitating. You know what I mean? It's like fireball. I just. I'm sweating. And at this point, I'm actually worried because we're. You know, we've been four hours into me running around 75,000 people in Hyde park. And the back of my white blazer is. It's now translucent. It had to. I sweat through a bodysuit, a white. A Bra, a bodysuit, a white silk shirt, and then a Zara white blazer. I mean, I'm just moist. He was still so sweet. He gave me a big hug, and I can just feel almost. It felt like there was blood running down the back of my neck, but it was just sheer sweat. And he's so funny. He had a cowboy hat, and he looked at me and he's like, hey, he put his cowboy hat on. He goes, let's Yellowstone this shit. And I'm just crying, laughing. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. And meanwhile, like, 10 minutes. No, an hour and a half beforehand, I had the privilege of interviewing Little John. I mean, I grew up listening to Little John. If at some point during your homecoming dance, if Little John didn't come on and you didn't find yourself with a leg behind your head, grinding in a pair of Keds canvas sneakers, just living your best life, then you didn't. Then you didn't grow up in Atlanta. You didn't grow up. Have your. Your youth in. In the early aughts. You just didn't. There's a conference going on outside of my studio today, and I'm pretty sure they're like, why are you screaming? So I got to talk to Little John. He's like, such a class act. And he also does his bit, like, as much as, like, Armando texts Dale and, like, speaks the way he speaks in a text message. Little John also is Little John. He's like, yeah. I was asking him, like, what do you do after a show to unwind? He's like, I sleep.
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B
Yeah.
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A
I was like, okay, Mature. Mature Little John. I'm like, you know how to start a party? What's the best way to start a party? He's like, I hydrate and go to sleep.
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B
Yeah.
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A
It was insane. I was so grateful to Armando for being so kind to me and incorporating me and his whole team is fantastic. Dude, I got to meet the most bad ones, which is his group of dancers. I want to give a big shout out to Shani, who's, like, the hbic, the head bitch in charge there. She was so kind. I interviewed all the dancers, talked to them. I think she's been dancing with him for, like, eight or 10 years. And she said that she was the one who showed him the original video of my standup of me talking about, like, how insane his dancers are, how they are literally wearing nothing but titty tassels and a tampon string, and they're grabbing their ankles while he's telling you words of affirmation and, like, you know, stocks you should invest in. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with the whole operation. I'm obsessed with him. I'm obsessed with his whole team. And the dancers were insane. And I want to. I want to let y' all know I got a little makeup trick when. When I tell you these women shake ass like you have never seen. They are doing the splits. The splits are doing them. Their legs behind their head, their pussies are popped, their asses are up, the titties are out. They are gorgeous. They are talented. They are so insane. Insanely good at being hot, too, which is another thing, because if I was. Even if I had, like, the body, the eight count, even if I had that in my repertoire, in my toolbox of talent, I asked him, I said, none of y' all are sweating. Like, y' all still look flawless. One of the gals told me, the l' Oreal face setting spray, you don't need to go expensive. The l' Oreal face setting spray and the red can with the black top, that's what they use to perform in front of 75,000 people in Hyde Park. And their makeup does not move. If you don't think I have ordered 15 cans, I'm just, I'm dousing myself in that. The girls were fucking awesome. They were amazing. The show was unreal. So then the show starts. He goes up on stage. I've just had this moment with him also, Armando, you owe me drinks. He was like, we're get drinks tomorrow. Ha ha. And then he, like, runs off to the stage just like. Like an angel just kind of levitates into the clouds and then onto the stage. And then you hear the crowd go wild. I mean, the crowd was going absolutely nuts. And I, I, I took a seat and I had, like, a glass of backstage. And at this point, I can just feel, you know, I'm like, I got maybe 45 minutes left in this ball cap, and we got to hang out in this area. Maybe I shouldn't say the name, but, like, where his friends and family hang out to watch the show. And you have to walk in front of the stage and, like, down the main drag. So you're walking through the crowd, but you're not right. They're fenced off. So I'm walking in front of the stage. I'm, like, waving to him, and I'm dancing, and everyone's got. Cause, you know, he's Mr. Worldwide. Everyone's in a bald cap, and everyone has these giant World beach balls that they're popping up, and I'm just kind of running through the crowd like, we did this Guinness Book of World Records. We outcha, Dahlie. I've had one glass of. But because I am so dehydrated from heat stroke, and I'm just crying and there's tears running down my face, and I'm just slapping the hands of, like, young children and bald caps, being like, live your best life. Took my life from negative to positive. I just want y' all to know that. And danced my ass off for the next hour and a half. So in order to get out in time with security, we had to leave about, like, three minutes, about. No, maybe five songs before the end. And I ended up talking to somebody on Kesha's team later that night because we went to Kesha's afterparty and he said, did you hear that Pitbull gave you a shout out on stage? I believe this guy. I don't think he'd bullshit me. And I'm like, no. Security took us out so we could get into the car before 75,000 people were release out of Hyde park, you know, because I'd been working all day. And he said that. He said. And I. I believe this to be true. That Armando, aka Pitbull, aka Mr. Worldwide, aka the King and my second husband and the light of my life, apparently. He's, like, thanking the band, thanking the dancers, thanking all the other performers, like. And follow Heather McMahon. She does funny skits about me, darling. It's like, good night. And if that's true, that is. That's what it was all for. It was for nothing other than that. And my hair's still been slick. I don't know what else to do. I had a full dreadlock for, like, four days. So I've been in a loose chignon bun. There's nothing. I'm gonna have to get a blowout this week and make it maybe a keratin treatment. But we had so much fun. And I turned to Tina, and we were holding hands, and we're dancing, and he's playing my favorite song ever, which is Kulo, you know, and then it's a hotel, motel, Holiday Inn. He's got DJ Chino, which is so funny to me, and the show is insane. That's the thing. Even if you're like, oh, I haven't listened to Pitbull in a minute. Well, you have, because Pitbull is in every song and he's worldwide and you hear him everywhere. But the concerts are fucking Good. They're not good, they're great. So if you get a chance to see him, especially abroad, do it. It will change your life. You will have the most fun three hours of your life. It is nonstop energy. It is non stop sexiness. It is nonstop motivational speaking. If anything, you're going to leave with a business plan and a good attitude. There's no way to leave that environment and not either want to make out with someone. Write your list of goals or call your grandmother. Something good's going to come out of it, I guarantee it. So after the show, we get back to the hotel, we do a quick change. I'm talking, like, I. I don't even know how I got this off. I was using alcohol and, like, this makeup remover oil. My neck is raw. I still have little bits just peeling off. And that was the thing, too. Pit was like, damn, you look good. He's like, you look like me. I said, yes. And I realized we look so much alike because we have the same profile. Like, we have the exact same nose and kind of the same face. And he's cute and I'm cute, so it is what it is. But I really want to sit down and have a beverage with him. Hell, a cup of tea. I just want to sit with him and talk to him about business and truly being worldwide and just how to do it all. I adore this man. I told my husband I was like, would leave you immediately for Armando. Not even in a sexual way. And, like, I need a father figure. Good thing I didn't say at any point in the three minutes I got to talk to him. Good thing I didn't say, like, my dad's dead. Will you hold me? Will you hold me? Armando, I love you. I didn't make it weird. I did not make it weird. But, Armando, you did tell me if I come to Miami, you're taking me out on the boat. So I will be there soon. I will be checking your tour schedule, and I will be outside the gate when you get home. I'll give you a day to rest, and then you're taking me jet skiing. So after the show, you know, I ripped the bald cap off. It was feral. It was insane. I do a quick change, a slick back, and then we head to Kesha's after party. I know some of the people in her management team and some of her dancers. I mean, small world. One of her dancers, Joshua Ray, and I used to work with at Soul Cycle. It's just, you know, it's wild. It's Wild the way the world works. It's wild how everything is connected and we end up at an after party with her. And she is a fudgeing, badass performer as well. I mean, the whole entire show is incredible. She's hot. She's never looked better. And I'm not even trying to say that in a. Like to. To talk about her body, but when I tell you her legs on stage, I said, whatever her regimen is, whatever her glute regimen is, your girl's got to get that ass up because. And I'm talking about myself. That ass is so high and tight. Her ass looks so good. I gotta get keified. Kesha, if you see this, drop the routine in the comments, girl. Because I'm trying to get that Kelly. Because it looked good. Hill House Summer is here. And honestly, it might be their best collection yet. I'm talking new prints, tons of styles, and there is something that could literally fit everyone's taste. I just ordered a bunch of Hill House summer dresses because I love them. They have that famous nap dress, which is literally a dress that is so comfortable. It's got smocking, it's got fabulous material. You can take a nap in it, get up and go to a clam bake and then go out on the town. It is truly the most versatile dress. 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So we have this wild night, we're out to like two or three and I'm with my favorite people. I'm with Ray. I'm with Christina. My girl Retta was there, she came to the concert. And then we meet up with my buddy James J. Hart, who you guys have all loved from the podcast a couple weeks ago. And he is one of my oldest buddies and I'm so glad that y' all get to know him in the way that I know him and he's so incredibly talented. But so James is out there because he's working in the UK and we all go to the after party and then the next day it's like two or three in the morning and I'm looking at Retta and Retta is like, heather. We have exclusive tickets to Wimbledon the next day. So we go back, everybody else goes out clubbing. And Red and I wake up at like 8am and when I tell you the hard pivot, like the records, like the record scratch, almost skip from going from 75,000 people in a bald cap, sweating your dick off, dancing to Kulo shake, bending down and grabbing your ankles to. I am in now in Wimbledon whites and I am going to sit next to the Princess. The Duchess was the hardest pivot I have ever made. I have done a lot of pivots in my life that I. That was the hardest. That was a jazz square for all my old dancing friends. That was a jazz square of emotion. It was unreal. So we get up and I'm looking at Red and I'm like, red, we gotta take the train up there. Our car is gonna take an hour and a half and I gotta give a big shout out to the store. Czane S E Z A N E. This is not sponsored, but the morning that I was getting ready in my pitbull drag, Red is telling me she secured the tickets. And I'm like, retta, I don't have anything appropriate for Wimbledon. And so I'm. And I can't get across town because I'm in hair and makeup. So I called the Sezane store. You couldn't even call them. Long story short, Ray and Tina helped me. We went to Sezane, they had an outfit and it was perfect. I had like a white floor length eyelet dress that tied. It was too tight in the titties, but we made it work and some nice heels. You have to. When you're going to Wimbledon especially. We were like in the members club. So I'm. I'm not just going to Wimbledon. I'm in the membership. I'm in the members clubhouse. I've been to the Masters many times and I will, I mean, I hope to darken the doors of the actual real clubhouse one day. But that's probably not going to happen for a minute. Knock on wood. We don't want to say that, but, you know, I am sitting in the Augusta national of Wimbledon. I am with the members. There's, like, 350 members, very similar to joining Augusta national, and I'm in it. Retta and I are in it. So we have this private table for the day. We go up to the third floor, and it's where all the members dine. And it is, when I say, the chicest dining experience I've ever had. We have our table for the day. Everyone comes over. All the waiters are in gorgeous Ralph Lauren outfits with their ascots. But you have to dress. It's even different from the Masters. Like, of course, you have to look a certain way at the Masters, but. But you cannot wear sneakers. You basically have to be in a full royal outfit, like, tucks and tails. Tucks and fucking tails. My outfit was perfect. Retta looked great. We were. We were thriving. We sit down, we look at the menu, and I'm like, yes, darling, I'll have a glass of champagne, a. A spot of English breakfast tea, little skim milk on the side, a scotch egg, and, darling, if. If I won't have the lobster. Thank you, darling. Shout out to Rose, who was our server. I mean, it was fancy. Fancy to the point where I was. I got nervous. Like, I didn't want to put my elbows on the table, but I also still had, like, chunks of bald cap that were stuck to the back of my neck that I couldn't get off myself. So there'd be moments during Wimbledon where I would just see Retta kind of, like, lean over, and she's like, you got a chunk? And I would just pull it off. Meanwhile, Priyanka Chopra sitting behind us looking like an angel. I've got my little portable fan, you know, just sweating my dick off. But, I mean. And I'm texting my husband. He's like, heather, only you would go from Pit Bull. 75,000 people, Hyde Park, Guinness Book of World Records. Now you're sitting next to the Royal box. Now, this is how it works. So we're in the membership lounge. We have this gorgeous lunch beforehand. Then we get walked down to our seats. And I know the seats are gonna be great, but Retta and I were like, oh, my God, y'. All. I am sitting in, like, the membership section at Wimbledon, and. And. And Kate Middleton is directly next to me. I mean, maybe I'm not good with time or space. Okay, yardstick. I'm thinking yards. Maybe like 10 yards away from me, 10 yards away from me. And I turn to look over because it's the royal box, and I'm like, well, I wonder if there's going to be any royals here because we were there on the Saturday, not the Sunday. She took my breath away. I have never in my entire life been actually speechless, breathless than when I saw this woman. You know, And I've been critical of the royals over the years just because I've always been a day one Diana gal. And, you know, I was always like, I didn't get the pomp and circumstance. I am now sold if they invite me to a royal coronation for I don't care if they get a new dog, I will be there. I will be there with a little pillbox hat on and a veil and a bird on my head and a classy outfit and a turtleneck sweater, and I will be there. Please invite me. Because I loved it. Everything about the pomp and circumstance, I was like, this is Riche. And, you know, I think why I loved it. Tennis. There's so many more women at a tennis sporting event than golf. And that's maybe why it seems a little bit more like I was around of other. A bunch of other rich women. Now, don't get me wrong, there's tons of women at the Masters. But there is something where I was watching the ladies finals, the ladies doubles, and I was like, it's a day for the gals. I'm gonna have a little hot spot of tea. A little. And I'm gonna watch the ladies. There was a lot of good, rich feminine energy. And everybody had their fan out or they had a little paper fan. We were all fanning. We were all having hot flashes together. We were in gorgeous outfits next to. Next to Kate, you know, and she's so stunning. She's just radiating. Anya. It was. The energy was electric. And I do think it made a difference that we were watching women fight for this, this championship. There was just some sort of magnetic energy happening. Maybe we were all cycle sinking. We were all going to be on the same period. But it was a vibe I do need to look up. Kate, I apologize. I've already fucked up. What is her official. Kate Middleton's official title? I just want to make sure I get this right. She is Her Royal Highness the Princess of Wales. And I do believe. Let's see, her official title at Wimbledon is. She is. No, no, no. Oh, no, not at Womb. At Wimbledon. Middleton's official title at Wimbledon is, oh, the patron of the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club. So she would bring out the trophies at the end and she was iconic. And when she comes out, we just. And I think it's different. Like, obviously, you know, they're kind of like they're heads of state, but they're not making rules. It's just kind of the vibe. They're there energetically to bring happiness to England, but they're not actually policymakers. So it's different. And I think, because maybe it was so refreshing, because in America, like, when. Fuck, when Trump comes to an event, everyone's like, oh, God. Also, did you notice how Trump came? He meddled in the America vs Belgium match or whatever the fuck happened. And then America lost. The only game he showed up to at the Knicks game. Then they lost. I'm just saying. Meanwhile, Kate's floating through the crowd, everyone's cheering her. It just said, I hate to say it. It was like, civility, you know? And I'm sitting there in a gorgeous white eyelet dress, sensible heel. I have on a gorgeous cap. I have a fabulous sun hat. I'm feeling classy. There's women playing tennis. I finally understand tennis. And, you know, Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Wales is 10 yards away from me. Just being gorgeous, darling. It just felt gorgeous. The only thing that could have made that entire day better is if for some reason the Spice Girls came out onto center court and announced that they're going back on tour, my head would have exploded. There is no way for one human to be able to absorb that much joy and happiness in 24 hours. You don't go from giving a kiss to Armando, aka Mr. Worldwide on the forehead, to sitting next to Her Royal Highness, a Princess of Wales and a beautiful white eyelet dress. Having a glass of champagne with your friends, you don't do that in 24 hours. That's not a thing. I think the Lord said, heather, it's been a tough couple years, but I'm just going to give you the largest rush of dopamine that you will ever receive in. In 12 hours. I mean, I had one glass of champagne and I'm like, halfway upside down because one, I am severely dehydrated. Heat strokes taking over, and I haven't slept in four days. And then in between the matches, so we watched the ladies doubles finals, and then. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We watched the men's doubles finals, which was iconic, and then the women's final singles was after. And in between, we went back into the membership room, back to table 21, you know, very, very pos. High tea. And I said, isn't this civilized? I had my scone. I had my colotted cream, my raspberry jam, A beautiful tea sandwich, A gorgeous cup of Earl Grey. Mmm, flavorful. I had a beautiful, perfectly pad bottle of champagne with it. It was to die for. I had a sausage roll. Do you know what that is? It's just sausage in pastry dough. And you know what? Your girl likes 10 of them. I had strawberries and cream, which is what you have to get at Wimbledon. And guess what that is? It's just strawberries in whipped cream. And it is delicious. So we're at Wimbledon all day. I get it. I'm texting Ray and Tina. What are you guys up to? Cause Ray had gone to Wimbledon with his other friends, like two days before the day that I flew in. And Ray's like, we're here. Scummed our way in, bitch. We'll see you in like 20 minutes. After the match. Because we made friends with this other gal, Renee, who was playing. I mean, like, now I'm in the tennis world. I love tennis. I want to play tennis. I think I'll have a fucking thunder. Thunder. Backstroke, is it? Backstroke, backspin, whatever. I'm learning the lingo. It was unreal. And I will say, I've kind of. I've kind of said this before. Tennis was always confusing how it was scored. Every time it was explained to me, I'd be like, huh, okay, deuce now. Ad okay, but now we're back to one now. Okay, huh? Yep. Now it's 15, 30, 40. And now that I've seen it in person, I fully get it. I think you have to go to a tennis match if you were equally dyslexic with numbers and time and space. Just go to a match. I don't even care if it's like a junior high match, don't be a creep. But just, you need to watch the tennis. You need to watch. See the balling back and forth. And I told Jeff, I said, listen, I know you're trying to get me to play competitive golf again against, I don't know, 65 year old women at our club championship ladies nine hole. But I do think tennis might be my thing. I like the outfits. I need something cardiovascular to really get my ass in shape. I'm trying to get in shape. Everybody's bodies were tea, the thighs were ripped. Maybe that's what kesha's been doing, but watching, watching the tennis was next level time of my life. And I get it, I get it. So we had a gorgeous civilized tee, Ray and Tina. So this whole compound was like four floors up. And that's before you go to center court. So we're just like in the clubhouse, if you will. And Ray and Tina are up on the players floor, so they've somehow scammed their way, scammed all the way up to the players floor. So they're hanging out in players, dining with all the champions and like all the people who've been playing in the tournament. Ray got to their other friend was like, you want to peep the locker room? He's like, I'm good, but that's just what we do somehow. And my husband is like, Heather, only you would go from bald cap to sitting next to the royals at center court at Wimbledon. I just said, that's what we do. I will never be the last person at the party, but I will always start it. I will start it. I will start it. I love to start the party. Oh my God, this is such a, it's such a self indulgent episode. But I'm just so geeked out for the fun we had. So I got my little Wimbledon hat. Got my little Wimbledon hat. You know your girl's doing tennis. You know your girl's doing tennis though. Watch out. Game, set, match. Goodbye. So I had about 55 strawberries and creams, 48 glasses of champagne, 25 cups of Earl Grey tea, and it was fabulous. So Retta, Ray, Tina and I, we end up getting in a car, we head back to London that night, and then it's the England versus Norway game. So we meet up with J. Hart, AKA James Abrahart, AKA the love of my life. He's rented out a pub. He's got a table for like 10 at a slamming pub in West London. We roll up 10 minutes into the England game. Your girl did a whores bath after Wimbledon, threw on a little sundress, and next thing you know, I'm slamming ciders. And after working at the largest Irish sports bar in all of New York, there's something you need to know. My favorite, most refreshing drink is a. Is some sort of cider. A cold. If it, if it's on draft, even better. But like an Irish Magner cider or an English cider on ice is the most refreshing drink. It is apple juice with a Pixie stick in it. You have one of those, you're not only drunk, but you're Also, you're geeked out. I had one of those. A little pie mash, some bangers and mash, fish and chips. I love English food. If you do it right, it's actually good. You know, I did have a little Maldon sea salt in my purse to add because they don't like things salty in that country. And then England won the game. There's a cool breeze outside. We're all. The pub culture is incredible. You, you can walk outside with your glass. You just standing on the corner, everyone's smoking a cigarette. Yeah, you're right. You're right. He see that Penalty kick. Out of this world. Can you believe it? No, I can't. I can't believe it. It's just. It was such a vibrant three days. We get back, we fall asleep. I get up the next day, I'm at the Sky Club and I'm discombobulated. I'm wearing a. You know, I bought 15 shirts. A bit bull. I have on a triple XL Pitbull shirt where he's got it' Palm trees and flames. I've got my Wimbledon Strawberries and Cream hat on. I've got giant aviators on leggings. And I'm holding it together. I'm not even hungover. I'm just exhausted. Body is shut down. Organs are failing. I barely even drink. I'm just. The body is. It's. It's like an accordion. It was just folding into itself. So I'm having a cup of tea in the Virgin Sky Club. This young woman comes over to me. She's like, hey, you know, this is gonna seem really weird. I'm like, oh, here we go. Here we go. What you about to say? She's like, I live in your childhood home. I'm like, wait, which one? Cause I just moved out of my childhood home. She's like, no, the one you lived in. She says the address. I'm like, oh, my God. You literally live in my childhood home. We lived in this home up until eighth grade, and then we moved into the home that my mom currently lives in and that we lived in the last couple years. So, I mean, that was like my childhood, right? And I meet her family. She has beautiful daughters. Her husband's great. We're chit chatting, we're laughing. I'm talking to one of her daughters who, like, lived in my childhood bedroom where she. I'm like, what do you have on the walls? I had Spice Girls posters. What did you have? These kids are cool. They just got back from Greece and it was one of these things where I don't need. I really don't want to sound, like, delusional, but it was almost like this full circle weird moment where I'm riding this high of, like, what has just happened and how much fun I had. And then this beautiful young family. And I'm looking. And this. I don't. This is gonna sound creepy, but I'm looking at these, like, adorable young girls, and I'm just thinking, like, I looked at one of the girls. I was like, the world is your oyster, kids. That house was magical. This life is magical. Just whatever you want to do, you're gonna accomplish. One of the girls was like, I'm going to junior high next year. I'm going into high school. I was like, crush it. You got this. And it was so weird to have that core memory of, like, being placed back into that childhood bedroom where I would have Spice Girls posters all over the world walls. I would never have NSYNC or Backstreet Boys. Big fan, went to the concerts, but I never thought any of them were cute. I'm sorry, I didn't. I still don't Lance, maybe. And I knew he was gay in the fourth grade. I said, got a little extra sugar in the tank. That's probably why I liked him. I never, at any point had, like, a junior high crush on a single NSYNC bsber. Maybe O Town. Maybe o town. Maybe 98 degrees. Nick Lachey did love. Did love that little tattoo with the sun and the 98 degrees. Still do. He's a cutie. But never was into any of the boy bands. Always was die hard, Spice Girls. Slam it to the left if you're having a good time Shake it to the right if you know that you feel fine Shake it to the front Ah, go round I had Spice World. I had the movie Memorize. And you know, it's been off grid. You have not. It's been offline. You have not been able to see. Find it for a minute. And Mel C. So Sporty Spice and Baby Spice, Emma Button, they are on a radio show on the BBC together. And I keep getting fed this in my algorithm. And I don't know if it's sign. I don't know if we're manifesting this. And maybe I had to see this young gal who's living in my childhood bedroom that was covered in Spice Girls posters. Maybe this was, like, the universe connecting it all. Like the invisible string theory. Go with me here, go with me here I keep getting fed this video, and obviously I follow both of them, where they're talking. They're, like, almost teasing a Spice Girls reunion concert. And they're like, wouldn't that be great? Wait, we should do it. We should do it. We should do it. And I think that there's a slow burn. I think there's some sort of tease. I think they're setting, planting the seed, seeing how the fans would react. And I'm here to tell you right now, if for any reason, when these Spice Girls decide to go on a reunion tour, you will not see me till that tour is over. That is my ERAS tour. I will be at every show. I will be probably doing lighting or be a grip or, you know, drive the trucks for the girls. I don't care. I'll do craft services. I'll do physical therapy. I don't care. I'll sell merch. I will be a part of it. I'm not just in the entourage. I'm hired. I will be hired help for that tour. And I will live out my core memory, my core fantasy of my childhood, of standing in my bedroom just screaming Spice Girls at the top of my lungs. It was a weekend of girl power. It really was. Even though we were hanging out with people. He's a feminist. He loves the ladies. But seeing the women play and seeing all the gals getting them together, I don't know, it just felt like good, positive, supportive. Her Royal Highness. Good, supportive, feminine energy. I was very into it. But I don't know if the cosmos is starting to turn and we might get a Spice Girls reunion concert on our hands. We might. We might. And to all the straight men that are listening to this, and this has been too niche of an episode for you, I don't care. I had a fun weekend. Let me live. Who do you want me to interview? Fucking Tony Hinchcliffe. Ugh, I'm so tired. I'm so tired. Calm down. Let me have fun. This is my podcast. Skip to the next episode. If you don't like what I'm saying, Jeff is gonna listen to this and be like, you lost your mind on that episode. Also, the air conditioning's not working in my studio right now, and I'm dripping sweat. I am. And I have on, like, short, short, short tennis shorts. Cause, you know, I don't know if you know this. I am a tennis pro now, and it is disgusting. We got a whop. We got a whop. I feel like maybe that I kept getting sent these videos, and then I ran into this young girl who's living in my childhood bedroom. And maybe that was just a sign, like, Heather, little Heather memories are going to become new Heather memories, because the Spice Girls are going on tour. That's just what I'm saying. That is what I'm saying. All right, so what are we doing? Oh, I'm. I'm possibly. I'm hoping that, you know, flights get booked, all that. I think I'm going to the World cup this weekend. Y' all think I'm going. She's on a spawn. I'm just trying to knock off as many things as I possibly can go to see do this summer. Wimbledon, pit bull, World cup gang, Gucci gang. We're doing it. I'm also simultaneously cutting the special together. And it is so great. And I just want to say thank you to everybody who came out on that tour. But, you know, I was sitting last night and I took the photo. I took the videos off Instagram because I was talking poorly about myself. And Jeff was like, don't. He's like, so many people like, stop. He's like, you did it. Like, don't. But there is something very humbling about watching yourself and wanting and just being like, hey, why do I look fat in this? And I put it up in the amount of women that were like, shut the fuck up, bitch. You did that shit. I was like, you're right. You right. You know what we're not going to do? We're not going to talk negatively about ourselves. We're not going to talk negatively about ourselves. We ain't going to do it, boo. We going to be. We going to be living that girl power. We're not going to do it. But the level of self loathing when you are strapped to a bar stool in your kitchen and you are editing this is just. It's raw. It's a raw feeling. And then I sat there and I was talking so poorly about myself, and Jeff was like, heather, look at what you just did the last three days. Shut the fuck up. That's why I love my husband. He's a great equalizer in telling me to shut the fuck up and stop being a whiny little bitch. And then he's. While also being like, come over here and let me spank that ass, guys. And I'm gonna tell you this right now. If I am fertile, well, we're. We've probably got triplets on the way, because the amount of sex that I've been having with Jeff, I'm sorry I said it. We're like, new. We are honeymooners. We are newlyweds. In this house, from the windows to the walls to the sweat drop down my balls, it is getting freaky at our new crib. I am telling you what I didn't know what freedom was. Did I say this last week about how much sex we're having? We're having a lot. We're having a lot. And if you see me out in public and I'm drinking a Coke Zero, don't start me like she's pregnant. No, I'm not. I'm just out here enjoying a Coke Zero. I'm probably taking a break from the sexual encounters I've been having with my husband. From the windows to the wall. I mean, it has been crazy. To the point where Macaroni put a paw over her eye and went under the covers. And I said, I don't know if I'd go under there. You might be better off on the floor. I don't know what to tell you, Toots, but my man's been holding it down. He's been putting furniture together. He's been holding it down, and that's why we love him. I don't know what this energy is I'm having today, but I'm out of my mind. But either way. Oh, also, I think I can say this, but all of my older special so Son, I Never had and breadwinner are gonna be out on Hulu this week. I can't announce where the next one's going to yet, but if you. But so Son I Never had is no longer on Netflix. It's going to Hulu. The amount of emails, texts, dms, phone calls to the. To the podcast people were like, where is your special? It was sitting at Dean Bahat, who's my attorney. It was sitting at his office for the last, like, six months while we were trying to close the deal. Cause I was taking, you know, I was taking my Create my creative passions, my pieces of work, my performance are over to the Hulu. But it takes a minute sometimes to get those deals done. And even though Dean and Jackie be on it, it took a minute. So you'll be able to see those. I believe they'll be out this. This week, so stay tuned. We'll do an announcement on Instagram. So if you're a new listener, new follower, and you want to see who the hell I am and any of my other specials, I'm so excited to announce that those are all going to be on Hulu. Very exciting. I am starting with a fresh fridge, which means I get to buy all my favorite condiments. And I love Primal Kitchen dressing sauces and Condime because they are the best. Now you can find them@primalkitchen.com and the reason why I love Primal Kitchen is it's just frigging delicious. Okay? They are on a mission to change the way the world eats by making real food easy and delicious. One of my favorite Primal Kitchen dressings is the Caesar dressing. It is made with avocado oil, no seed oils. It's sugar free and no dairy. It's made with real ingredients and I recognize that it's the best addition to any salad or wrap. That's the other thing too, like when I was really working with the nutritionist to just try and, like, feel like I was lowering my information and wasn't eating a bunch of crap. When you look at all the sauces and and things that you were adding to your meals that are already, like, dangerous as can be, I didn't realize how toxic all of the sauces were. And that's why I love Primal Kitchen because I don't have to worry. I don't have to second guess any of the ingredients. They've made a ton of other dressing, sauces, condiments, and pantry staples that are made with real ingredients. Okay? They are. Primal Kitchen is always the go to brand for unbelievably delicious sauces and condiments that are made with real, honest ingredients. You can put it on salads, burgers, all of it. It's all fricking delicious. Let me tell you some of my other favorite ones. Obviously, I love their Caesar. Their ranch salad is amazing. It is so good. They also have a marinade. It's like a cilantro lime marinade. I'll put that with some chicken, let it sit overnight or even just for like an hour or two. It's to die for. They have a balsamic marinade that is great. It's everything. Everything is fricking delicious. I really, really love, love, love Primal Kitchen. And again, you can find Primal Kitchen dressing sauces and condimen local grocery store or primalkitchen.com Primal Kitchen made for real food again. That's P R I M a L Kitchen. Primalkitchen.com Nyx has done it again. Their new super leak proof mini dream boxer is so amazing. It's mini, but it's mighty. I got sent a pair of these and I was like, oh, these are the cutest little shorts ever. And then I realized it was like leak proof underwear. And I'm telling you what, I will never go back when you are in that first day of your period and you feel so gross and you're just like, oh, I feel bloated and nasty and all the things. Well, you are going to love these super leak proof mini dream boxers. Okay. They are so cute. I love the new mini length. Okay. Shows off my legs. But I, it's got super fun prints. I, I got the polka dot, I got the stripes, the cheetah classic sexy black cute lace detailing. And of course absorbs up to eight super tampons. There is nothing better than when you're on like first two days of your period and you're going to bed at night and you don't want to have a tampon in because you're like, I don't want tox shock syndrome. Well, you can put on these mini dream boxers and they are so amazing. I tr. I wear them also just for like my boxers to go to bed because they're so comfortable. You wake up feeling fresh and cute. And I'm telling you what, like you are going to love them. I love all of Nyx's products, but I specifically love these boxers. They're new and they're a game changer. So all you have to do is head to nyx.com and you'll see why I love NYX. Don't forget to use code absolutely for 15 off your order. Get leak proof undies. Amazing bras. Nyx has the best bras. And don't forget to check out the the new mini dream boxer. That's K N I x.com code absolutely. Nyx. Com. I have tried so many different underwear to go to bed in so many different things while I'm on my period and that's why I always go back to Nyx. K N I X has completely changed how I feel about my period because I feel like a sense of relief and protection. And again, all you have to do is go to nyx.com could Absolutely. I'm a new homeowner and owning a home is great until it's not until the next thing you know you have like running water coming out of your can lights. You're like, oh great, here we go. It's a holiday weekend. It's fourth of July. 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It was too insane. It was literally too insane not to. All right, hold on.
- [57:51]
B
Hi, Heather. Long time listener, first time caller, big fan. I've been to many of your shows, including The Arabia City 1. Went on your cruise, left my pretty young baby at the time home and with my mom not alone and me and my husband, bing bang, boomed over to your absolutely not cruise. I was the one that during the meet and greet, you asked me if I was hungover and you said no, we're not a bunch of gummies. Anyway, my absolutely not is leaving any party hunger, but especially a party where you were assured there's gonna be tons of food. Tons of food. Oh, come hungry. I literally got an invitation once that said Come hungry. And I left hungry. I don't understand. And you'll notice this voicemail is being left at 9:08 in the morning. So I haven't. You know, I'm not in a situation where I'm currently leaving a party hungry, but I have a party tonight and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna leave hungry. And I'd like you to address what are the hosting standards? Because my standards are not that my guest leave hungry. Thank you so much, Heather. I truly love you. I did DM you a bunch of times asking you to birth my baby. That didn't happen, but maybe for the next one. I love you so much.
- [59:03]
A
I love you too. And thank you so much to you and your fabulous husband for coming on the cruise that means the world to me. Side note, we're having another cruise. You know, get your tickets@heather.com. maybe we run it back. We run it back on the open ocean and we get pregnant with baby number two. I love that. You know, I've been doing this podcast for seven years. I've had so many people call in. We've had so such a variety of problems, issues, things to celebrate, just, I don't know, emotions over the years. And this. This one has just hit me in a. In a raw spot. And I hate to take a negative turn on this episode because it's really been love, light girl power, positivity. But showing up to a party with no food. I call the cops. I call the authorities. Nothing. Nothing. And you're looking at somebody with a BMI, probably in their 30s. Nothing irritates me more than a promise of a full belly or at least a full plate. And there's nothing. Everybody had that one house that they would go to growing up, and it wasn't for a lack of, like, you know, they couldn't afford to put food on the table. I'm not going there. There. You always had that one person who'd have a birthday party, and you knew if you didn't pack snacks in your sleeping bag, you and your friends were gonna starve. And I wanna say maybe people thought that was my house, in a sense, but my mom just made everything from scratch. Again, there are. There are ingredients. Households and food households. We were food or. Sorry, we were ingredients. We did not have, like, food. You wouldn't find, like, loose cuts of ham unless it was prosciutto in the fridge. You're not gonna find a chicken parm. Robyn's gonna make it fresh. You're gonna eat it in front of her. And then you're gonna clean your plate. That's how it went. And one of the reasons Jeff and I eventually had to move out of Robbins is she would make Jeff six lamb chops, and she would give me a quarter of a quarter and then slap my hand and be like, that's for your husband. He's hungry. And I'm like, I'm starving. I was just tilling the land, bitch. I'm out there picking weeds for you, Robin, and I can't even have a whole lamb chop. Don't love how this sounds. Jeff and I were laughing last night. We made, like, steak tacos. And I was like, wow. Equal plates, babe. Equal plates. He's like, yeah, At Robin's house, she would have given you a quarter of a taco and been like, take a lap. Go for a walk. You're not hungry. You have a pain in my ass. Meanwhile, Jeff's got, like a. He's got a tomahawk steak. But there was nothing worse than going. Going to a party, especially under the guise of that you're going to be fed, and then you're walking away hungry. And then if you. Because I feel like you're a good time at a party, because you already told me you were on gummies on the cruise, so I can already. I already know that you're going to be probably one of the last people at the party. And I'm never a last person at a party, but I am the party starter. Okay, I said it. But if you're. If you're leaving and you're one of the last people at the party, you. Taco bell's probably closed. McDonald's probably closed. You don't have a lot of options. And there is no bigger panic in this first world than leaving a party hungry. It's why Jeff and I don't do a lot of Michelin tastings, because we're always starving afterwards. If I know it's 26 courses, there are two places that I have done Michelin style tastings and not left hungry, hungry. One is Alinea in Chicago, one of the best meals I've ever had. And Gagan in Thailand. There was like 75,000 courses. And I left so full, I didn't think I would. I couldn't open my eyes and not like I was tired. It was like my body was so full that my eyelids were swollen shut just from the sheer pressure of my eyeballs against the back of my eyelids. That's how much food I had consumed. It was gluttonous for sure, sure. But don't invite me to your barbecue if you don't have ample snacks. If you don't have some sort of a shaved corn on the cob elote dip, I'm not coming. And if you're serving Pepsi, we'll see you. I love knowing if I, you know, and that's one of the big perks about having our own space. Like, I want to throw the parties. And if you don't think that I keep tabs on all my friends favorite drinks, I would prefer. I'm probably gonna have to hire a butler, which I love. An older white J gentleman named Michael. I would love that. I would love a butler of a certain age and skin tone. And he will be white, and his name will be, like, Michael, and he may be British, and I may be emailing Kate Middleton afterwards and being like, do you have anybody on the roster who's, like, not performing the way they should be? Can you send them to my house? I love nothing more than that simple touch of knowing what your drink order is. Is. It could be a Mr. Pib. Maybe you're off the sauce. I want you to walk in my front door and I've got a crisp Mr. Pib in a copper mug like you like it. Because it's thoughtful. I've thought about it. I need you to know one thing. And I don't know if I told you all this last week, but I was doing this Enneagram personality testing where you find where you are in this, like, personality wheel. It's through numbers. I'm a seven. I'm the enthusiast. Okay? And it literally says. Said. Hold on.
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Okay. Seven Enneagram falls. Okay? It literally says, my key toxic traits that manifest When a type 7 is unhealthy or unbalanced include gluttony or over consumption, a constant, insatiable need for the next big thing. This isn't just about food or money. It's a compulsive hoarding of experiences, thrills, or distractions to fill any underlying void. Wow. Ding, ding, ding. That's your girl. And I think because I grew up in a granola house where at one point my dad had a slim fast and a Krispy Kreme doughnut in one hand. He also definitely was a seven on the Enneagram. For sure. For sure. That is why now I I over order because Robin's been giving me a quarter of a chop my whole life. Incredible shit, Chef. But you ain't getting two platefuls. I never understood the families where you Sat at the table and you had to finish your meal, and we were not a glass of milk at the table family. Some of you sick. I don't know what your parents were up to. That whole, you got to have a glass of milk with your spaghetti casserole. Get out of here. In the fourth grade, I was having a glass of Cabernet sauvignon with my chicken piccata, which I probably should have had a Sauvignon blanc, but you get what I'm saying. We were not a milk glass of milk family, and we were not a finisher meal. Usually. Robin, Robyn would tell me when I sat down at the table, she'd go, heather, you're eating so fast. You're acting like somebody's gonna take it from you. Push. Hey, I got a new exercise for you. Push away from the table. And she and my dad and my sister would laugh and laugh, and I had a spaghetti sauce on my face. I'm like, one more bite, Mom. I was like an orphan. Like, more porridge, please. Please, a little more oatmeal for the baby. And they'd all laugh and laugh, and I would just run my little fat legs up to my room, slam the door, and listen to the Spice Girls. Maybe that's why I'm so connected to them, because I was going through an aggressive eating disorder in the fourth grade. But it wasn't because I chose not to eat the food. It's because my family was giving me rations because they were worried about my weight. Wait. And honestly, honestly, thank you for looking out for me, but it didn't work. It didn't work. And you could ask any one of my friends. Yes, I've been talking about, like, purchasing and buying bags and all this bullshit, but it's experiences. It's experiences. I will buy a dinner. I will buy. I will take us to a fucking. You know, I will take us to Vegas to the buffet, and we will lit. Because that's how I feel. Like my cup is full. Metaphorically and physically. Wow. Another one of my. One of my key toxic traits is a number. Seven is rationalization and dismissal. They tend to bend reality to avoid discomfort. Well, okay. Don't love that. Don't. Okay, you know what? Let's not read this. Let's only read the positive. We're gonna stay on the positive. To my dear listener who called in, I also agree. Going to a party where they tell you there's going to be a spread, and you get there and there is no spread, I'd call the police. At least call the fun police, because that party is a party I don't want to be a part of. At least get dialed into the Nextdoor app and let people know, hey, don't go over to Carol's because we were starving and I know everybody's on Ozempic now, myself included, but guess what? I still have room on my plate. I want to graze. Let me graze. I hate when you leave a wedding and there's not a midnight treat. I hate when you leave a wedding and there isn't a midnight treat. You know what? I need treats. You know when I like them. Midnight. So I feel you. I'm glad you brought that up. Really don't want to be barking orders or in on a negative tone, but I just think this is a good reminder. We still have Labor Day coming up. We have World cup parties coming up this weekend. Don't host if you don't have a spread. Fuck, you can do a potluck. I'm not mad at potlucks. Everybody bring two dishes. That's fine, but you better make sure that you're for the amount of people that you're inviting. Make sure you don't have like seven fair weather friends that you know they're going to just bring some bullshit Hawaiian rolls. I think you got to be very strategic in who you invite to a potluck. I'm just saying. And then maybe have everyone do their enneagram test and figure out if you guys even actually like each other. Can work well together as neighbors. That's it. I am very excited. Next week we're going to be fully hitting the voicemails. I know I have so much to catch up on, so please call into the hotline, 800-213-7503. I want to hear what you've been up to. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. Please hit the absolutely not line. It has been a minute since I've done multiple voicemails, but there was just so much story to tell you guys today, so I'm so glad we got through that. And please, please, please just remember, get out there in those mean streets. Ask, believe, receive, achieve, and do the damn thing. We're doing it. And I can't wait to. I can't wait. I'm hopefully going to be doing lunch with Kate Middleton and Armando together. Imagine if Mr. Worldwide and her Royal Majesty, we all got together. Wouldn't that be fun? Talk about a. A blunt rotation. A ideal blunt rotation would be those the three of us baddies that's what's up. We'll also add Cash and Little John and Tiny Tempa, too. All right. I love you. I mean it. I will see you on the next episode. Again, call into voicemail 800-213-7503. I'll see you on the next episode. Ciao, bella. A reverend, Thanks so much for listening to Today today's episode. Don't forget to subscribe, rate us and leave a review. And as always, follow me on Instagram at heatherkmcmahon. See you guys soon. It.