Absolutely Not: “Stronger than Ozempic”
Host: Heather McMahan
Date: July 30, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, comedian Heather McMahan checks in from a pool house in Mallorca, Spain, delivering a hilariously candid solo episode packed with vacation recaps, wellness updates, her honest experience with Ozempic and similar drugs, and sharp takes on pop culture, including the Hulk Hogan family saga. Despite less-than-studio audio quality (she’s on her phone!), Heather uses her signature blend of humor and heartfelt authenticity to explore the joys and absurdities of travel, body image, and the realities of “doing the most and the least at the same damn time.”

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Heather’s Travel Life and Philosophy (00:00–13:30)

• Podcasting From Ibiza (but not Ibiza!): Heather records from Mallorca, joking about choosing comfort over high-quality recording equipment, and assures listeners she’ll provide a full video recap of her trip next week.
• Vacation Luxury and Privilege: She comically defends her “five star or bust” hotel choices:

  “No shit, Cheryl. Mama works her dick off during the semesters... A little exclusivity never hurt anyone. Okay?” (06:54)

• The Reality Check: Contrasts her Spanish vacation with her upcoming comedy gigs in Florida and the inevitable “swift kick in the dick back to reality.”
  Notable quote:

  “If Keanu Reeves has got his leather trench coat on and his sunglasses and it's take the red pill or the blue pill, guess what pill I have to take when I get back? The red one. Because I'm going to Florida.” (11:43)

• Tour Announcements: New tour dates (including Boston, Philly, and Nashville) coming soon—get your tickets!

Wellness & Ozempic Deep-Dive (13:30–38:00)

• Honesty About Ozempic:
  Heather addresses frequent questions about her use of Ozempic and similar GLP-1 agonist drugs, going deep on her experience:

  “I have always been transparent with you hoes. Go back and listen to episodes at the end of 2021. I was like, I'm starting this thing. We didn't even know what the fuck it was.” (18:41)

• Before & After (The Real Talk):
  • Started the meds after IVF and weight struggles—lost about 30 lbs, but “porked back up” when off the drugs.
  • Never lost “80 pounds” like some; describes a much more modest and realistic journey.
  • Prefers “microdosing,” and is upfront about regaining some weight and the side effects.
  • Switches between semaglutide and tirzepatide (Brand names: Ozempic, Wegovy, Manjaro).
  • “I’d rather be 10 pounds heavier and feel like I can swallow than do this shit.” (34:22)
• Acid Reflux Adventures:
  Hilarious recounting of struggling with vacation eating, the Mediterranean diet’s effects on her gut, and sharing her home remedy for acid reflux:

  “Take a teaspoon of baking soda, put it in water, and woof it back, and it does immediately cure yourself.” (35:43)

• Strapless Bra Test:

  “Everybody has that one strapless bra. That's it. People say the jean test... It is a strapless bra test.” (29:26)

• Demystifying the Drugs: For those considering Ozempic, she gives a nuanced, non-influencer take, breaking down dosage, plateaus, and switching medications.

Family, Body Image, and Brooke Hogan Tangent (38:00–54:30)

• Family Body Image Humor:
  Heather jokes about she and her late father being the “Brooke and Hulk Hogan” of their family (the "thickums"), musing on what could have been if Ozempic had existed earlier.

  “If the Ozempics were around for Kyle, the comeback this guy would have had...” (46:08)

• On Losing Her Father & Weight Loss Realities:
  “As a kid who already suffered with acid reflux, I had surgery at 16 a la Ashlee Simpson for nodules on the vocal cords. I don’t wanna be on all the meds.” (34:51)
• Brooke Hogan Deep Dive & Nostalgia (54:35–60:00):
  • Acknowledges Hulk Hogan’s recent passing and the resurfacing of Brooke Hogan’s music career on TikTok.
  • Celebrates Brooke’s resilience, side-hustling at a restaurant post-celebrity, and compares it to her own readiness to return to hospitality if needed.
  • Wishes Brooke a comeback and extends an invitation for her to appear on the podcast.

Travel & Relationship Wisdom (60:00–73:00)

• Rental Car Advice:
  With her usual irreverence, Heather proclaims:

  “We rent a fucking car. I don’t understand this concept where people act like there are not cars in Europe.” (62:27)

• Traveling With Her Husband Jeff:
  Offers entertaining insights into traveling (and arguing!) with a long-term partner, such as playing “ask each other a new question every night” and running out of things to talk about, plus the reality of maintaining romance on the road.

  “Whether you're scissoring or they're burping you like a baby, you gotta find somebody that you have fun with.” (69:23)

• Jeff’s Glow-Up: Amusingly reveals his minimal skin-care routine (“uses a tea tree oil pad once every 14 days”) and contrasts his stoic personality with her own high-energy anxiety.

Commentary on Current Events & Pop Culture (73:00–79:45)

• Epstein Files & Political Absurdity:
  Lampoons recent political developments and conspiracies swirling around Epstein’s files, expressing equal-opportunity skepticism:

  “It does not matter who you voted for. You cannot look me in my eyes and tell me that that isn't the biggest amount of red flag bullshit you have ever heard in your life.” (76:31)

• Living in a Simulation:
  Finds comedic relief in observing current events from her poolside perspective, teasing upcoming social commentary in her Florida tour shows.

Travel Hot Tips & Next Week’s Preview (79:45–End)

• Absolute NOT-Line Call Out:
  Encourages listeners to send in specific travel questions for the next episode’s “Euro Recap.”
  • Hotline: 800-213-7503
• Boat Day Is Best Day:
  Advocates for making “boat day” a travel priority, no matter the destination.

  “I don't care if you're in Belgium, you do a boat day. You get on a boat, you find a captain... That is the way to do it.” (80:26)

• Next Episode Preview:
  Plans a detailed, visual roundup of her full trip and invites more listener participation.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Vacation Decadence:
  “It's not the fantasy of a pool boy rubbing you down with oil... It's thread count. It's luxury linens.” (07:22)
• On Body Image & Self-Awareness:
  “Everybody has that one strapless bra. That's it... If it is cutting me to the ribs, it's time to lock it up.” (29:26)
• On Health Fads:
  “Kudos, round of applause, to the real fatties who got super thin. Okay, good for you all. That wasn’t my journey.” (26:19)
• On Political Absurdity:
  “Trump just said...‘I never had the pleasure of going down to Epstein Island. Never had the pleasure.’ What is happening? What planet are we on?” (76:00)
• On Long-Term Relationships:
  “We've been together 15 years; if we don't know it by now, we don't need to go down that road.” (68:13)
• On Podcasting While Traveling:
  “If for any reason this episode comes out annoying or the sound quality isn’t that great, just know I had a decision to make and I went with the latter, which was comfort. Comfort over quality for you dumbasses. I'm kidding. I love you very much.” (03:06)
• To Brooke Hogan:
  “Brooke, if you want to come on the podcast, I'd love to have you... Big fan. And unfortunately the passing of dad really made me feel nostalgic for who you are and just you know your music girl, I've been blasting it...” (87:25)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Opening / Mallorca & Travel Philosophy: 00:00–13:30
• Heather’s Ozempic Experience & Health Journey: 13:30–38:00
• Family, Body Image & Comparing Struggles: 38:00–54:30
• Pop Culture Interlude: The Hogans & Brooke Hogan: 54:35–60:00
• Traveling with Jeff & Relationship Insights: 60:00–73:00
• Epstein Files Commentary & Simulated Reality: 73:00–79:45
• Next Week’s Tease & Boat Day Gospel: 79:45–End

Conclusion & Listener Takeaways

Heather brings listeners along for a riotous ride from southern Spain, balancing raw honesty about health and body struggles with outrageously funny anecdotes about travel, politics, and celebrity nostalgia. Practical travel tips, empowering responses to wellness fads, and an open invitation for community input make this episode both laugh-out-loud funny and unexpectedly comforting.

Don’t forget to call the Absolutely NOT-Line (800-213-7503) with your travel questions.
Brooke Hogan—if you’re listening, Heather wants you on the pod.

“Come for the humor, authentic discussion, or call in the Hotline... We'll discuss it all.”