Gargoyles for Joy

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Gargoyles for Joy" – Add to Cart with Kulap Vilaysack & SuChin Pak

Introduction

In the "Gargoyles for Joy" episode of Add to Cart, hosts Kulap Vilaysack and SuChin Pak delve into their personal strategies for maintaining mental health and finding joy amidst life's chaos. Recorded on February 4, 2025, the episode navigates through themes of social media addiction, coping mechanisms during turbulent times, and the importance of embracing new activities to sustain happiness.

Navigating Social Media and Mental Health

Kulap and SuChin open the discussion by reflecting on the aftermath of a significant political event—the inauguration—and its emotional toll. Kulap shares her struggle with intentionally disconnecting from social media:

Kulap Vilaysack [02:18]: "I was like, I'm not watching it. I'm not gonna be on social media. I'm not gonna be. I'm not. I'm not."

Despite her intentions, Kulap admits to falling back into habitual scrolling:

Kulap Vilaysack [03:11]: "Not an hour goes by and I am mindlessly on Instagram."

SuChin resonates with Kulap’s experience, highlighting the pervasive nature of digital distractions:

Soojin Pak [04:09]: "The phone is like, for me, at least, it's now become just an Instagram device."

Strategies for Maintaining Sanity and Joy

The hosts introduce their main theme: fighting for joy in challenging times. Kulap emphasizes the need for intentional strategies to preserve mental well-being:

Kulap Vilaysack [07:03]: "We need strategies of how we are going to maintain our sanity. I need them. I have some ideas, but more than anything, I need them."

SuChin elaborates on her approach, which involves physical activity and seeking joy through movement:

Soojin Pak [08:09]: "For me, fight for joy looks like flight. It looks like leaving the home. I don't care. Let's read excuses."

Embracing Movement: A Ski Trip with Family

Kulap shares a personal story illustrating her strategy to combat feelings of stagnation by engaging in physical activities outside her comfort zone. She recounts a family ski trip aimed at fulfilling her husband's bucket list despite her initial reluctance:

Soojin Pak [12:06]: "We did it. It was a last-minute thing. We just pulled the trigger and it was glorious."

Kulap humorously describes her first skiing experience, highlighting her determination to embrace new challenges:

Soojin Pak [24:05]: "And I did a private lesson. It was supposed to be with Zoe, but girls, like, I'm not doing this lesson with you. Look at me. I'm going down the slopes."

Her candid recounting underscores the importance of pushing personal boundaries to achieve joy:

Soojin Pak [25:02]: "And I did it. It was fine."

Learning to Ski: Overcoming Fears and Building Confidence

Kulap reflects on her transformation from an apprehensive beginner to someone who actively participates in family activities:

Soojin Pak [27:14]: "Because like, how many times do you go down that mountain and you're like, I did it."

Kulap emphasizes the joy derived from surprising her family with her newfound skills, fostering a dynamic of continuous growth and unpredictability:

Soojin Pak [28:47]: "So just blown away. And I was just thinking in my brain, like there were parts of me that I was just like, wait, just your."

Mahjong: Building Community and Coping Through Play

Transitioning from physical activities, Kulap introduces another coping mechanism: playing Mahjong. She describes how the game has become a central part of her social life and a strategy for maintaining mental health:

Kulap Vilaysack [38:35]: "It's like, it's been this wild sort of, like, super fun, super, like, community, and we just. We are so fucking insane and hardcore."

SuChin adds humor to the competitive nature of their Mahjong group, reinforcing the game's role in their social interactions:

Kulap Vilaysack [41:54]: "When June doesn't win, it is chef's kiss. And when she wins, it's so crazy how quickly it becomes a lecture."

Kulap also touches on the obsession and dedication required to master Mahjong, illustrating how deeply it has integrated into their lives:

Kulap Vilaysack [45:27]: "We paid for this app, and I am playing it so much, like, throughout the day. Like, it's like."

Conclusion: Building Joy Through Intentional Actions

Throughout the episode, Kulap and SuChin emphasize the significance of intentionality in cultivating joy. Whether through embracing new physical activities like skiing or engaging in community-building games like Mahjong, the hosts illustrate how deliberate actions can foster resilience and happiness.

Kulap concludes with a call to action for listeners to share their own strategies for joy and to support wildfire survivors via the podcast’s Instagram:

Kulap Vilaysack [48:13]: "Please share with us your strategies for joy, your strategies for this new year. And we will continue doing this as much as we can."

Notable Quotes

• Kulap Vilaysack [02:18]: "I'm not gonna be on social media."
• Kulap Vilaysack [03:11]: "Not an hour goes by and I am mindlessly on Instagram."
• Kulap Vilaysack [07:03]: "We need strategies of how we are going to maintain our sanity."
• Soojin Pak [08:09]: "For me, fight for joy looks like flight."
• Soojin Pak [12:06]: "We did it. It was a last-minute thing. We just pulled the trigger and it was glorious."
• Kulap Vilaysack [38:35]: "We are so fucking insane and hardcore."
• Kulap Vilaysack [41:54]: "When June doesn't win, it is chef's kiss."

Final Thoughts

"Gargoyles for Joy" serves as an inspiring exploration of how individuals can proactively seek joy and maintain mental well-being through intentional actions and community engagement. Kulap and SuChin’s candid conversations offer valuable insights and relatable experiences, making this episode a meaningful listen for anyone navigating the complexities of modern life.

Transcript

[Soojin Pak]

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[Reshma Saujani]

Hi, I'm Reshma Sajani, founder of Girls who Code. Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits, and I'm raising two incredible kids. But here's the thing. I still wake up wondering, is this it? And if the best years are yet to come, when's that going to start? Join me on my so Called Midlife, my new podcast with Lemonada Media, where we're building a playbook for navigating midlife one episode at a time. Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into opportunities for growth and newfound purpose. At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life? I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act, right alongside you. My so Called Midlife is out now, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Lemonade.

[Soojin Pak]

Also with that fire boy. Wait.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Welcome back to ADD to cart. I'm your auntie Cuckoo V. Lysack.

[Soojin Pak]

And I'm your other auntie, Soojin Pakistan.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Now, listeners, just to set the table, we are recording the day after what is known as the inauguration. And, you know, don't know anything about it. You know what, Sue? I was like, I'm not watching it. And I was like, I'm not gonna be on social media. I'm not gonna be. I'm not. I'm not. Because even if, like, there are.

[Soojin Pak]

It's a day of mourning.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It's a day of mourning.

[Soojin Pak]

I was out all day.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Most people in my algorithm are people who I, you know, agree with. I didn't even want to see that. I didn't I didn't want to see hear takes. I didn't want to see Vanity Fair covering fashion. Like, I. None of it. I didn't want any of it, right? But then this. And I'm talking about me. I'm talking about this man in the mirror. I say that not an hour goes by and I am mindlessly on Instagram.

[Soojin Pak]

It's like, you don't know how you got there.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

And then I was like, it's. It's. It's. Today is Frankie Casp's birthday. I'm gonna wish her a happy birthday.

[Soojin Pak]

Oh, yeah.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

And then I'm going to keep going. And then it was like, after I did that, I was like, no, you're supposed to be off, off. And it's like, sue, I did that. That was the worst of it. But I. I logged in and started scrolling multiple times that day and had to go, stop.

[Soojin Pak]

It's just a reflex. I know it is.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

And I.

[Soojin Pak]

This is.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I, let's start the show with a remove from cart. I'm not saying I'm never gonna be on it. I'm not saying that. Remove it. Like, completely delete the app. But what came clear to me yesterday, sue, was just like, how bad? The trigger, like, the, you know, the itch, the not even thinking about it. And I'm on it. Like, that can't be the way I connect with my fellow man.

[Soojin Pak]

The phone is like, for me, at least, it's now become just an Instagram device. It's like you just open it and. And then you're there and you're like, no, no. I was going here to set an alarm for my casserole, but I have to have, like, blocks of screen free, which means I'm worse at responding to texts and emails than I was even before.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Interesting. I find it admirable because I.

[Soojin Pak]

But that's the price. And guess what?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

What that. Willing to pay. You're willing to pay.

[Soojin Pak]

Willing to pay. And it doesn't really matter. So did I. Yesterday was Monday. Did I respond to texts from the Tuesday before? Yeah, not quite a week. But that's. That's kind of. Because now that I'm trying to put it away, like, Mike bought a box. We all put our devices in the box.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Wait, this kind of reminds me about when we had former guest Rob Hubel and he had the cell phone jail. Remember that? And we laughed at him.

[Soojin Pak]

I was the only one that thought that was a good idea. And there was that app I was kind of playing around with back then. I don't Know what happened to that app where it made you pause before you opened up social media? Like, I forget what it was.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I remember that you had to do.

[Soojin Pak]

Like a three minute lock on it, like a counter.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

So like that's going, you know, that happening. And I have, you know, of course, very strong feelings. And the fires are still going. Sue though the winds are picking up. We're looking at, you know.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah. What is the update right now in la?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Just get a sense of what my yesterday was like. It was just like, okay, we were gonna get more wins yesterday and tomorrow. The watch duty app. Things were red flagged again. Things were pink flagged again. You're like, oh, okay, it wasn't so bad. But then midday there was a fire that was started in Griffith park by the observatory and you're like. And it was to. Again to the first responders, again to the, the fire department, who they are truly not around. It was out within 20 minutes and a. Somebody who supposedly started the fire was apprehended very quickly. They're not fucking around. But it's like the level of like.

[Soojin Pak]

Vigilance not to, you know, get too meta, but you know, the inauguration, these fires, it does feel a bit like the seven horses are coming.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Oh, it been, it been.

[Soojin Pak]

You know what I mean? And, and some of us are going to remain and others are going to be brought into the rapture. But you know, it does feel biblical.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

What we're talking about here, I think, and this is what the gist, the gist of the show is, is like this is coming out in February. We have moved on from the first month of the year. In the recording, we're sitting at the very end of it. But we need strategies here. We need strategies of how we are going to maintain our sanity. I need them. I have some ideas, but more than anything, I need them. So while auntie is letting you know what she's up to, what she's doing, we're all into this together.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah, we need to balance out some.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Of this and I need to, yeah, I, I need to. I got a two year old that I need to keep a high vibration around and I am looking for places to experience joy. Yeah, that's what I want. And I know that that is going to be revolutionary and I know that's going to be a fight for me. So that's what add to cart is.

[Soojin Pak]

About today, a fight for joy. What is that vibration?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Let's start with you. Let's talk about what the benders are, you know, what they folded into 2025.

[Soojin Pak]

Okay. So my fight for joy looks like flight. It looks like leaving the home. I don't care. Let's read excuses.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

So there's fight, there's flight and literally fawn. And fawn.

[Soojin Pak]

Fawn. Yeah, that's right.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

But for you, it's flight. Go flight.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah. Any way I can just escape, physically remove myself from my daily. It's my go to has always been. And can I just. I'm digging in deeper and I'm going to apologize to you that the listeners and anyone involved in this show. La Manada 2025. I will not be home. I will not be home for most of 2025.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I applaud this. And I, you know, I. So I have to cough. There's. There's ash in my smoke and ash.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah, go ahead, clear that smoke and ash.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It doesn't go into right now. I'm stopping it through my will to hit my lungs. So it's settling really at the base of my throat. That's. There's not enough water. Not enough water.

[Soojin Pak]

Delicious. Yeah. I hope that water has been triple filtered because that's the zone that she's living. But guys, we are vibrating at Joy. This is, we have to get through this part. We're not quite at the top.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

We are gonna get there by the.

[Soojin Pak]

End of this episode. Oh, you're gonna be naked running around in your backyard.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That, that's a promise in the effort to climb. Yes. My clothes will come off. Okay. I want to. I'm so excited by your statement.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That you've made. It was an apology. But I really, I, I don't, I don't.

[Soojin Pak]

Out of office.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I don't like the I, I. It's a statement to me. And I love the statement because I think that is absolutely like a strategy that I'm going to glean on from you, which is like Travel. Travel in 2025.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah, it's, it's travel. It's getting out of the house. Any excuse. So as you know, I'm going into my 50th year. That's. That's a 12 month excuse.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Whoa. By the way. Oh, God.

[Soojin Pak]

Most of my friends are going into their 50th year. Those are excuses. That's the golden ticket. You know, I just booked a, a, a birthday trip out of the country. 50. Gotta do it. Where are you going?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Where are you going?

[Soojin Pak]

Tulum.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Yes, girl.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Yes, girl.

[Soojin Pak]

Just a long weekend of old ladies in Tulum.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That's beautiful. That's gorgeous.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Shout out to friend. Pod and one of my greatest friends, Daniel Schneider, turned 50 on January 1st.

[Soojin Pak]

January 1st. And guess what? Whole year 50 gets the entire year. 12 months, 365 days. So I, whether I'm shopping, buying things, I am denying myself nothing this year.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

This is your golden year.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah, my. She sheds. Going up.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That's right.

[Soojin Pak]

Moving out. Literally, flight. I'm moving out, guys. I'm getting my own little studio apartment, starting fresh. It's like, you know, I'm going to college all over again. I'm going to talk about another thing that, you know in our family, a bucket list trip that we took that will be repeated. We already booked our next trip.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

All right, let's get into it.

[Soojin Pak]

Let's get into this. So I don't know if you know this, but the Bender family, Mike's family is a ski family.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I did not know this.

[Soojin Pak]

Yes, they're a ski family. And there are many types of families. A ski family is one of them. I didn't know this until I married into a ski family. So he grew up. His entire, all of their vacations, all of their family activities were centered around skiing.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Wow.

[Soojin Pak]

This is, this is a ski family. And so between his health and the pandemic, we just haven't been able to get the kids skiing in all of their years. No, that's not true. They both have. So it's been six years. So Kai is 12 now. So he got a few, he got a few ski lessons under his belt. I mean, they. About when they turned three is when you get them on skis. According to the Bender family, that's ski time. So Zoe had been once she got one in at three and Kai probably got two or three trips in. And in terms of Mike's health, you never feel ready, but sometimes you just have to pull the trigger and hope for the best. Otherwise you're never going to move up, you know what I mean? You're never going to move through this bucket list that he has. And skiing has been on his bucket list. It's number one thing. And so we asked some neighbors and there was a ski area in Utah that was relatively easy to drive to. We did it. It's a last minute thing. We just pulled the trigger and it was glorious.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Wow.

[Soojin Pak]

Really? Yeah. Coo I wow. The altitude. First of all, I don't know much about skiing. I've never been on. I've never been skiing.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That's what I wanted to ask, like where you come in, how do you enter into this, how you put on the skis one by One I once.

[Soojin Pak]

Was on skis I believe in Aspen for a television show. I did a standup.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Mm. Mm. This all tracks with what I know about you.

[Soojin Pak]

And I was in an outfit on skis. It was for a teen show that I did in the Bay Area.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Okay, and when you say outfit, you mean like snow gear, right?

[Soojin Pak]

That's what you mean.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Okay, good.

[Soojin Pak]

Oh, a cute little snow outfit.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Great. Wish I could see it. Wish we had. Wish we could roll tape right now.

[Soojin Pak]

And they put me on the skis, I did my stand up, then they lifted me out of the skis and then that was done. That is my skiing. Okay, so again, when I say flight, and we said this again, give me an excuse to leave this house. Give me an excuse to go on a trip, even if that trip involves a sporty activity in the freezing cold at high altitude. I don't like any of those things. My skin was dry. I just, my scalp was dry. I still feel. I just did a scalp treatment. I'm like, how did I develop dandruff in one week of high altitude? That's what I'm blaming. Just like my whole body is off.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Well, but that's why, you know, why you, you're, you sense this need to flight is because right now you're just like a fatted calf that's just been inside for so long. And so now you're going out and I just want to call out like, this is tremendous. Suchin this, this energy. Like you went on a mountain. You did that, that, that activity. And today you went on a strenuous hike like, whoa, what is going on?

[Soojin Pak]

This is desperate times. This is us clawing our way to joy. Again, not quite the vibration that we want to land on. But if we must fight for joy right now, then we fight.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

If I have to gargoyle for joy, then I'm a gargoyle for joy.

[Soojin Pak]

That's right, Gargoyles for joy. And so anyway, so. But really seeing, I've never seen Mike ski, but he took the kids on his own back then because I was like, I'm not going on a mountain. I'm not skiing. What do I care? And for him, he was determined. So he took the three year old skiing. He. I never went on any of these trips. This was when I had, when I had flight of plenty, you know, I, I wasn't looking, I wasn't, I wasn't dry mouthed looking for a drop of water. I was like desperate. No, I was not desperate. Now anything comes my way, I'm like Where can I go? Take me and so. Take me. So we got there, and I saw him come down the mountain, like, swish.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Like a. Like a movie.

[Soojin Pak]

Like an. I've seen 80s movies like that as an immigrant child.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Sure.

[Soojin Pak]

Who hasn't seen the. I don't even. Can't even recall the specifics, but I have, of course, American memories of, like, white people swishing down mountains. And I'm like, what is.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That's.

[Soojin Pak]

What is that?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I'm from Minnesota, and that's also my experience.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah. And. Well, you probably saw it up close. I had to see it on a tv. And so I saw him swish down that mountain.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Swish, swish.

[Soojin Pak]

Like a 1980s aerobics instructor.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Oh, my goodness.

[Soojin Pak]

His little Jiminy Cricket legs. Beard just crusted with ice and snow. Grin from ear to ear. It was like a. Yeah, like a pelican taking flight. Gliding. Just joy.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

A man in his element.

[Soojin Pak]

A man in his element. Some people have sea legs. My Keski legs.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Wow. I love to hear it. I love to hear it.

[Soojin Pak]

I've never seen this man so physical and agile, so connected.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

So was that attractive to you? What was the.

[Soojin Pak]

It wasn't not attractive.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Okay, okay. All right, I'll take it. Wasn't not attractive. I'll put that in the bank. Okay.

[Soojin Pak]

But did that thought cross my mind? Damn, I did marry a white man. I really did. He's just American corn fed on those skis, you know? And Immigrant sue just like, wow. That's very impressive.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Foreign.

[Soojin Pak]

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[Kulap Vilaysak]

So again, I'm from Minnesota, land of snow, snow sports and Whatnot. I did I have to do cross country skiing in gym? Yeah, I did. I'm more of an apres ski person. What does that mean? Oh, I'm in. I'm in the lodge. I'm having a warm hot cocoa. I'm in cute boots that touch snow. But on the way inside, like, that's who I am.

[Soojin Pak]

That's what I wanted. It is. It was really interesting to see this family, my family, this family just skiing like it's a ski family. And I had imagined myself to be the apres ski mom. I was going to have the snacks, the duh duh duh dub by the fire. Yay. You know, clap at the window, watch them through binoculars. I don't know, whatever the ski. Yeah, like warm inside warm, not whatever. And Mike was like, there is no way that you were gonna go on this first epic bender family ski trip and not get on skis. Like, you are not gonna bring that poo poo Grinch energy to the mountain.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

God, I agree with him. I agree with him.

[Soojin Pak]

That's why I don't like you guys.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I know.

[Soojin Pak]

I don't like it when you guys get together either.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I know, I know it's tough.

[Soojin Pak]

It doesn't feel good. And so he was like, you need to be proficient on skis. I'm not saying that you have to go on every run, you know, ski every day, but you need to at least give it a shot. You can't not give it a shot. So, I mean, the first thing I have to do to get motivated is to get a cute little outfit.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Yeah, you had to shop. You had to add to cart, didn't you?

[Soojin Pak]

Baby, baby, I added to cart. And I added to cart. Cute little jacket from Burton.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Let's look at it right now.

[Soojin Pak]

When you see it, you'll know exactly that it's me. It was basically a large sleeping bag. So warm.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Yeah.

[Soojin Pak]

Hurts to see that it's on sale now, but that's okay. In a. In a nice sort of a neutral beige color. It's a unisex jacket. Love it.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

And summit taupe. Well, because I know such. And Puck. She's wearing that off the slopes. She's gonna put it.

[Soojin Pak]

Wear it on my walk every day.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Yeah, exactly.

[Soojin Pak]

Zip myself into that thing. So freaking warm. So I did a private lesson. It was supposed to be with Zoe, but girls, like, I'm not doing this lesson with you. Look at me. I'm going down the slopes. So I did it by myself. A 50 year old woman on skis for the first time with an instructor.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

50 yet.

[Soojin Pak]

And in, you know, major pizza triangles. And just slowly made it down the mountain. And I did it. It was fine. Ah, yes.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

What a review from veteran journalist Suchin Park. She loves the clothes and the activity. It was fine. And we heard that period. Thud.

[Soojin Pak]

And I said, you know what I did, Kula? This is my strategy. And hey, take this, because it is a strategy. May not, may not be yours, but I'm giving you this strategy. And it worked.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Okay?

[Soojin Pak]

I said, day one on the slopes. Day one in my skis. Day one with a private instructor, right? Because Mike was like, I'll teach you. I was like, over my dead body.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

No, that's a pass. I would have passed on that.

[Soojin Pak]

I went hard. She was like, oh, do you want to take a break? I was like, no, I'm not getting these things off my feet. Go back in, climb out. No, girl, I'm gonna do the four hours with you. I did the whole thing. I went on a ski lift. Most terrifying thing. I don't even, I, I don't go on Ferris wheels. That was just like a Ferris wheel, but like less safe with equipment. Did that. And I thought in my mind, I'm gonna go so hard on day one, the hardest I can go, just shock everyone.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Shocking.

[Soojin Pak]

And then after that, they will have to say they'd have to shut the up. Shut the up. Yeah, I did it. So day one, I did it. And guess what?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

They did.

[Soojin Pak]

Everybody shut the up. They did. They were so shocked that I got my ass on a ski lift with this woman holding my hand.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Look, keep them guessing.

[Soojin Pak]

You know, the thing about skiing is you just have to sit on your butt if you want to stop. I know they don't tell you that in the lesson, but pretty much quickly figured that out. Slid halfway down on my butt. It was fine. Yeah, it was fine.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

You're. You're able to walk. You, you, you live to tell the tale.

[Soojin Pak]

No, I don't want to fall on accident. Yeah, that's not what you do with 50 year old joints.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That's right.

[Soojin Pak]

You fall on, you know, you sit on your butt and you're like, that's too fast. And skiing is great.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Okay, now we're saying it's great.

[Soojin Pak]

No, I mean skiing is great. Like when I'm watching from the lodge, clapping at the window. Skiing on the mountain is fine.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It's just fine.

[Soojin Pak]

Okay?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It's fine.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah, because like, how many times do you go down that mountain and you're like, I did it. Is there any did you. Is there a lagoon in there that you put in in between the last run and the one I did? What is a little, little clown gonna pop out? Like, what's the.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I mean, you want it to be a fun house?

[Soojin Pak]

I don't know. I was just saying, I did this three times. What more is there? Like, is there a family of hummingbirds gonna sing me down like, there's nothing new here? I got it.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I assume, I assume again. I've told you my history, that there's some sort of feeling of euphoria. That one feels so good.

[Soojin Pak]

Not at the speed I'm going at, but like, you know what? I'm glad I did it because just to see the look on my kid's face, they couldn't believe it. I mean, Mike has seen different versions of me. Not extreme, but he's seen me in a two piece bathing suit in my 20s. You know, he's seen me tanning in the sun in Brazil. You know, the kids have never seen any of this. They've never seen me in the sun. They've never seen me in a proper bathing suit. There's so many versions of me that they don't know. They only know this version of me. So just blown away. And I was just thinking in my brain, like there were parts of me that I was just like, wait, just your. Your life is so long. I'm gonna continually, when you least expect it, blow your pants off and do something, just one thing every few years that's just going to shatter every thought.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

You had of your preconceived notions of who I am.

[Soojin Pak]

And this was definitely, definitely one. They couldn't believe it. They were so excited. So I was glad to do it, just to sort of like set the table again for them. And that's a joy. That's a joy that every parent, every parent should think about. You know, just like shake things up, keep them, keep them guessing.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Keep them all guessing.

[Soojin Pak]

So anyway, so that was that. Just really quick, two other things that I just was thinking about on this trip. So we, when we built the itinerary, we had a midday. Let's not ski this day. Take a break. And Mike rented snow, snowmobiles for us. And within the first, oh, I'd say 12 minutes, he got into a snowmobile accident.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

How so?

[Soojin Pak]

He flipped it.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

He flipped it.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah, but not going at a high speed. It's going over a tiny little bump onto like, you know what I mean? And it. I don't know how it. I was behind him. I was with Kai, he was with Zoe in front of me, and it was very slow motion, you know, not controlled. Nothing. Nothing crazy. All right. But I just think. I just think it's hilarious. And so we have the. The piece of the snowmobile that he broke. Of course, like, moment immigrant. I refused. Refused the extra insurance. Guess what? Hot tip. Add to cart snowmobile insurance.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Yeah. I wouldn't have done it either. That hurt. And.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah. And then. And then the rest of the day, you know, the rest of the trip was. Was lovely. It was lovely. It was just everything Mike ever dreamed and more. And I was ready to leave. And we're doing it again over spring break, exact same spot. And. And we'll see if my strategy worked because will I be clapping at the bay window of the lodge or are.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

You gonna have to go hard again day one?

[Soojin Pak]

That's another strategy. You know what? I may even want to do that just to say I did it. You know, I'm not the Grinch of, you know, skiing.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Yeah.

[Soojin Pak]

And. And then everybody. Oh, you know, everyone, you know, his brother, his mom, like, did she ski? You know, did she get up? No. And then Mike was like, she got up. I have video again. Shut the up. Excuse me, but explain why when life does not happen on a bi weekly schedule, our paydays do. Money you earn can be in your hands today with Earnnin. Earnin is an app that gives you access to your pay as you work up to $150 per day with a max of $750 between paydays. When might you need a paycheck sooner? Oh, I don't know. Like when your dog keeps swallowing ping pong balls and now you're at the vet er in the middle of the night. For example, with the ease and convenience of Earnnon, you can have the cash you need on hand to take care of your furry loved one. Download Earnin today spelled E A R N I N in the Google Play or Apple App Store. When you download the earn an app, type in add to cart under podcast when you sign up. It'll really help the show. Add to cart under podcast. Earnin is a financial technology company, not a bank. Cashouts are based on your available earnings. Standard cashouts take one to two business days with no mandatory fees option to expedite your transfer for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. See the cash out user agreement for details. Services not available in all states. Let's be honest here. Raising a family today, it feels like navigating a maze of unhealthy options. You're always looking for those hidden sugars, artificial ingredients, misleading labels. It's so hard to know what's actually good for our kids. And that is why I love Thrive Market. It is like having a personal guide to healthier living for my entire family.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Thrive Market makes it simple to find trusted, family friendly brands without spending hours in the grocery store. From snacks to pantry staples, everything they offer is 100% non GMO and with their on site filters you can shop based on what matters most to your family. Low sugar, gluten free, organic or high protein options. All just a click away. Our little Emmy loves the Amara Smoothie snacks filled with organic bananas, coconut milk and red berries.

[Soojin Pak]

And you know I'm Snacky sue, but I'm trying to be a good influence for my kids. So I love that they have this thing called the Healthy Swaps Scanner in the Thrive Market app. It's so simple. Here's how it works. You scan a product you're used to buying and then it instantly recommends cleaner, healthier alternatives. So we're filling our pantry with Annie's Mac and Cheese chomps, beef sticks and well, lesser evil popcorn. Yes, popcorn can surprisingly be pretty evil.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Ready for a junk free start to 2025 head to thrivemarket.com add to cart and get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T H R I V E market.com add to cart thrivemarket.com add to cart Carter's. You know your Auntie Cuckoo loves the good things in life. But even though I enjoy a little luxury, it doesn't mean I enjoy the price tag. Until I discovered Quince. Quince is my go to for luxury essentials at affordable prices.

[Soojin Pak]

And you know I'm cheap.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

You are.

[Soojin Pak]

Let's just say it is what it is. But being frugal with quints, I don't skimp on anything. I'm a millionaire. I'm rich. Quint offers a range of high quality items at prices within reach. For instance, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters from $50 washable silk tops and dresses, organic cotton sweaters and 14 karat gold jewelry.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

The best part? All Quint's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And I recently bought Emmy the super soft fleece joggers. Comes in navy and black. They're so comfy cozy her hands in her pockets. These kids love podcasts. Dripping with it, dripping with it.

[Soojin Pak]

Give yourself the luxury you deserve with quince. Go to quince.com add to cart for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com add to cart to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com add to cart. Cool. I'm so excited for our new partner. You know, I love a wipe, don't I?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Don't I?

[Soojin Pak]

A wipe for your face. A wipe for every part of your body. Think about this. You wash your hands with soap and water your butt. What are you out there dry wiping? And that is why I am just on the edge of my seat about our partner today. Good wipes. Thank you for coming to the rescue. They're soft, dare I say refreshing. And it actually gets you clean. Let me tell you, it's 100% biodegradable, flushable.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

The wipe is soft. Actually soft. And it's made for grownups, you know, like for us. Not for, like, babies. But if our babies are getting their booties clean. Clean, why not us too? What's good for baby Emmy is good for Mama cuckoo.

[Soojin Pak]

Exactly. And listen, I'm. I'm super picky about scents. Don't like them. I don't want my down there smelling like a car deodorizer. That's not what I'm looking for as I turn 50. The scents are. What are they? Sophisticated lavender or rose water. All right. My personal favorite, Cedar. It's like a forest bath for your tush.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

These wipes are hypoallergenic, made for sensitive skin, and don't leave that weird sticky feeling. And can we talk about how they're actually flushable again? I mean, like, made with plant based fibers that break down easily and are 100% biodegradable. Tested and vetted. They are not messing around.

[Soojin Pak]

Something I learned. I didn't know this. That washing your lady bits with soap throws off that sensitive PH down there. I now know this. I'm imparting this wisdom to you youngins so you don't have to be where I'm at. And these wipes are specifically pH balanced for your little dumpling. It just makes so much sense.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It just makes so much sense. It's like, try it and you'll understand. You'll feel fully clean after number two. Is this an auntie promise? Don't make me ask you how you normally feel down there, kids.

[Soojin Pak]

It's just a very small but complete upgrade to your daily life. And that's what we do here on ADD to cart. Just small, minuscule things that make a big difference. If you want to upgrade your restroom ritual, you can grab good wipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and most local grocery stores. Just head to the toilet paper aisle and look for the bright aqua, rose and emerald packages.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

They're also available on Amazon. If you're more of an online shopper, your booty will thank you. I promise. All right, so let's talk about my cartoon.

[Soojin Pak]

Let's do it. Where are you finding joy? Where are you clawing your way to joy?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Strategies for sanity and Joy started last year. I've talked about it ever so briefly. Is my obsession of mahjong.

[Soojin Pak]

How did you even get into this? Because it's not something you just. It's not like Uno.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

No. It started with a game night at June's house that happened, like, last. I don't know, like, maybe we were playing rumikube. We were playing hearts, and then we played that for some months, and then we were like, hey, we've always wanted to play mahjong.

[Soojin Pak]

Oh, God.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

And then I don't know how to play mahjong. Who do you know that plays mahjong?

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah, of course it would come from your friend group. The most competitive, vicious humans you have ever landed.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I have no idea how that has manifested in this game. So Casey's really good friend, Samantha Stone, who has become my friend and who I call my mahjong sifu, she taught us how to play. And then it just like. And it's. This is classic me. Play it once, and then right away, add to cart. It wasn't even like. It was like that night. That night. And Sam was like, hey, here's this, like, really good serviceable set. That's like 80 bucks.

[Soojin Pak]

And I'm like, get out of here.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Ah, let me pay.

[Soojin Pak]

Have you seen my ebike? Yeah, get out of here.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Let my starter set be double. You know what I mean? And I. So I have a link to my set. I bought it from one of the oligarchs.

[Soojin Pak]

Wooden case guys. That's right. Just want to let you know, that's in the. In the description.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I. Yes. I bought from the oligarch Jeff on Amazon. I bought the Yellow Mountain Imports American mahjong set. And so my set has, as she said, a beautiful wood case, and it's got wood pushers. But most importantly, the tiles. The back of it is gold glitter. I gotta have that gold glitter. Oh, Suchin Pak. The tactile. Let me wax poetically, the tactile feel of. Of simply tiles. The click clack, click clack. The asmr. As you're. As you together are moving and building walls and all of that stuff, it's so, so, so very satisfying.

[Soojin Pak]

Listen, I've seen the Wong Kar Wai movies. I know what that sounds like. Yeah. Never seen it in person, but I know that sound.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Then, of course, I wanted a more aesthetically pleasing mat. And so I find myself at Neiman Marcus.

[Soojin Pak]

That's what you play the tiles on.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That's right. Okay, so I got this. Gorgeous. From this. Oh, my Mahjong.

[Soojin Pak]

Wow, they're beautiful.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I play at least once every week with my group of gals and. And Maddie, Sometimes Paul, sometimes David, Casey's husband. Like, that's the thing. It's like we never. This group of friends can never just have a. Eat, like, a light hobby. Sue. Way too early, way too fast. We were playing for money.

[Soojin Pak]

Soon enough, you guys are going to be on the COVID of the mahjong magazine. Whatever. The mahjong was gonna be June.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Let's just call it. It'll be June.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah. And. And there'll be a tournament, and there'll be seats and tickets and a live show. Yeah. This group doesn't play for fun. Yeah.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Because, like, when you. The. How you play is this. There's a card where there's all the hands, and it tells you what the values of the hands. And the values of the hands are like 25 cent.

[Soojin Pak]

Oh. Money is built into the game.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Soojin Pak]

Oh, God. No wonder. Oh, my God. So Asian.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It's the most.

[Soojin Pak]

Oh, my Lord. I didn't realize money was built into the game. I should have. Of course.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That's exactly right there. Because, you know, I mean, you've seen the movies, there's mahjong halls, and there isn't a lot of sort of. You can't really. You're playing like, it's not. There's not a lot of, like, relaxing and shooting the shit. Like, you're playing. You're on. You're looking at your hand, you're looking at other people's hands. And, like, we're at a point now where we're playing. There's four. Four in a game, you know, and we're playing two tables generally now. Like, that's where it started to build in December.

[Soojin Pak]

You guys were. As of recording, we're about three or four weeks from that. So just in a matter of three or four weeks, you guys have built now a second table. And you're looking. Let's be honest, you're looking for rental space. We're looking for a permanent Mahjong haul.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

June just got a second table. But what was happening was, is that I would bring my. My table, my mat, my set set up at her house, her sets on. You know what I mean? Like, it's. It's been this wild sort of, like, super fun, super, like, community, and we just. We are so fucking insane and hardcore.

[Soojin Pak]

Oh, God, I wanna be at the bay window clapping at one of these things. Can I come and watch?

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It's the only kind of area where I kind of will allow this sort of, like, Real Housewife cadence. We are so, like, pay your debts, like, hardcore about it. Like, David Casp played with us, and I owed him $6, and he wouldn't give me his Venmo. And he said he wouldn't do it. And I was like, you. You. So. So what? So you're making me, like, my mother that I can't play my gambling debts. Like, it's this. He's like, no, I. It's not a big deal. Just, like, it's whatever. It's $6. I like cash. Put cash on his windshield.

[Soojin Pak]

I'm gonna say Venmo. I'm surprised you guys even allow that.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

We know. Because you Venmo immediately. Immediately. And. And if you don't do it immediately, people, someone's gonna say something. Yeah, something is. We're so petty. It truly is so fun. Because you have my friends. Personalities.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Oh, man. Guys, when June doesn't win, it is chef's kiss. And when she wins, it's so crazy how quickly it becomes a lecture. Like, how quickly she, like, starts to just sort of, like, TED Talk at you. Like, it is the funniest. The funniest thing I've ever seen it, like, it brings out, like, the best. Worst in us.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That, like, it. It brings me this joy and. And again, swinging back to, like, it's kept me sane in the last, like, three months. Absolutely. And I anticipate that it will. And I'm gonna need to do it, like, you know, in this year. Like, I have to be able to do this. And even when I'm not playing Mahjong. Oh, I. Maybe I didn't put the app. There's an app. There's an app that. There's a link.

[Soojin Pak]

It's a practice app just to get better at it.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It's called American Mahjong Practice. It is an unattractive app. We paid for this app, and I am playing it so much, like, throughout the day. Like, it's like. That's the thing. I'm. It the level of obsession is so comical.

[Soojin Pak]

I love it.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

And then for June and Mat's, they have the same birthday, which is the 4th of January. So me, Kayce and Lara, we, like, got them a gift together. And this is something to look forward to when it's warmer. It's something called Aquamage. And Aquamage is a floating game table. So we're going to eventually be playing mahjong in the pool.

[Soojin Pak]

Did they die when they opened this? What is going on? There's a whole world. I can't even believe that there's an entire company with floating mahjong tables for, for a pool.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

They're pending copyright for their design.

[Soojin Pak]

Wait, I need to know more about this. These people.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I need to share with you. This Julia Roberts, I forget what talk show host she was a guest on, but she's talking Maojong and it's like the best quote. And we'll put it here.

[Soojin Pak]

I can't imagine how you play.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

It looks so cool.

[Soojin Pak]

Can't make heads or tails of it. No, no, no. What's the point? It is. Well, here's the point. It is. The concept of it is to create order out of chaos based on random drawing of tiles. Wow, that's deep. That is deep.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That is.

[Soojin Pak]

Yeah. It's sort of like life. It's sort of like every day we try to make a little bit of order out of the chaos of life, just with our random acts of, hopefully, wisdom and kindness.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

I feel like I've just stepped into sort of this existing community that's been around forever. When I tell you it is at a level. And I mean, I just really want you to understand.

[Soojin Pak]

Oh, I, I, I, I understand.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Okay.

[Soojin Pak]

Because I'm seeing your cart. I'm seeing this cart, you know, and this cart isn't like, oh, I bought some stuff on Amazon, there's some of that. But I also bought some stuff on Neiman Marcus on this other bougie site. I mean, you guys are in, we're in. The dresses are coming out soon enough. The tournament, whatever, all of that is shortly on the horizon.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

That's right. The merch, the merch, the gear. The merch, the gear. Oh, wow. Wow. Thanks for being here with us for another episode of atc. We have been posting links and resources to support the Los Angeles area wildfire survivors on our Instagram @adakartpod. And, and please, please share with us your strategies for joy, your strategies for this new year. And we will continue doing this as much as we can. So please keep up to date, take Care and we will see you next time.

[Soojin Pak]

Bye. There's more Add to Cart with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned and why subscribe now and Apple Podcasts.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Add to Cart is a production of Lemon on Media. Our producers are Keegan Zema and Tiffany Bui. Brian Castillo is our engineer.

[Soojin Pak]

Theme music is by Wasabi and produced by LA Made it and oh so Familiar with additional music by APM Music. Executive producers are Kulap Vilaisak, Suchin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Whittles. Wax.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram To Cart podcast. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership.

[Gloria Rivera]

Hi everyone, Gloria Rivera here, and we are back for another season of no One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's childcare crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of no One Is Coming to Save Us is out now. Wherever you get your podcasts, are you.

[Kulap Vilaysak]

Looking for ways to make your everyday life happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one bestselling author of the Happiness Project, bringing you fresh insights and practical solutions in the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. My co host and happiness guinea pig is my sister, Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore ideas and hacks about cultivating happiness and good habits. Check out Happier with Gretchen Rubin from lemonada Media.