Podcast Summary: Add to Cart with Kulap Vilaysack & SuChin Pak Episode: Introducing: The Longest Shortest Time Release Date: April 29, 2025

In this compelling episode of Add to Cart, Lemonada Media hosts Kulap Vilaysack and SuChin Pak delve into the intricate and heartfelt journey of CJ Rivers as they navigate the complexities of parenthood. Titled "Introducing: The Longest Shortest Time," the episode provides an intimate look into CJ's experiences, shedding light on the intersection of gender identity and the desire to become a parent.

1. Introduction to CJ Rivers

[01:37]
CJ Rivers: "My name is CJ Rivers and I work as an underground train driver in London."

CJ Rivers introduces themselves as a non-binary or trans masculine individual with a deep-seated desire to become a parent. Contrary to their childhood dream of driving trains, CJ's true aspiration has always been to raise a child, embodying both monetary and emotional investments in the process.

2. CJ's Journey to Parenthood

a. Early Attempts and Challenges

[02:03]
Hilary Frank: "CJ specifically has always wanted to be a dad."

Previously featured on The Longest Shortest Time, CJ shared their struggles in making parenthood a reality, especially given biological limitations and societal expectations. Their initial attempt involved setting a six-month deadline to conceive, which marked the beginning of a tumultuous journey.

b. Health Complications and Seeking Treatment

[19:13]
CJ Rivers: "At the beginning of 2020, I thought I'm just gonna pay a clinic. I'm gonna go to a clinic. I'm not gonna use a non-donor. It turns out that I am unqualified to handle semen in any way, shape, or form."

CJ faced severe health issues, including prolonged and painful bleeding episodes, which were initially misinterpreted as potential miscarriages. This prolonged period of uncertainty and medical complications added significant emotional strain to their quest for parenthood.

c. Navigating Fertility Clinics and Legal Hurdles

[27:01]
CJ Rivers: "Most of the fertility clinics have their own sort of internal sperm bank... They just match you to someone who looks like your partner."

CJ's search for suitable clinics led them to Greece, where cultural and legal barriers posed additional challenges. The insistence of some Greek clinics on traditional gender roles and documentation hindered CJ's efforts, highlighting the systemic obstacles faced by transgender individuals seeking fertility treatments.

3. Pregnancy and Self-Discovery

a. Emotional and Physical Experiences

[35:06]
CJ Rivers: "I really felt great. That was so surprising for me. I really expected to feel absolutely horrible and miserable about my body and my looks."

Pregnancy brought unexpected emotional and physical transformations for CJ. Contrary to their fears of body dysmorphia, CJ experienced increased confidence and a profound connection to their changing body, fostering a positive self-image and resilience.

b. Relationships and Community Reactions

[37:00]
CJ Rivers: "Yeah, some of them didn't [know I was pregnant] when we first met, which again surprised me."

Navigating relationships during pregnancy presented unique challenges. While some partners were supportive, others were unaware of CJ's pregnancy, leading to moments of surprise and adjustment in their interpersonal dynamics.

4. Birth and Fatherhood

a. The Birth Process

[39:32]
CJ Rivers: "They were sewing me back up. Micah was absolutely covered in gunk... It wasn't magical in that moment."

CJ opted for an elective C-section to align with their gender identity, opting for a home birth team initially. However, unforeseen circumstances and personal experiences led them to pursue a hospital-based delivery, culminating in the birth of their child, Micah.

b. Legal Documentation and Recognition

[46:44]
CJ Rivers: "I got a friend to fill it out for me... It's just a box on the [registration form]."

Despite the emotional affirmation during birth, CJ faced legal challenges in registering Micah's birth. UK regulations required CJ to list themselves as the mother, conflicting with their gender identity. This bureaucratic hurdle necessitated unconventional solutions, such as having a friend complete the paperwork on their behalf.

5. Life with Micah

a. Parenting Experiences

[48:13]
CJ Rivers: "Micah's whole life right now for me is like an Advent calendar... I just get to open a little door and get a little extra piece of the puzzle of who they are."

Parenting Micah has been an enlightening experience for CJ, filled with daily discoveries and joys. Micah's unique personality and quirks bring endless surprises, enriching CJ's life and redefining their understanding of parenthood.

b. Reflection on the Journey and Future

[48:23]
CJ Rivers: "I have absolutely no expectations for them, but I'm so excited to see the person that they're going to be."

CJ reflects on their parenting philosophy, emphasizing unconditional support and the excitement of watching Micah grow into their own person. This perspective underscores a commitment to fostering Micah's individuality without preconceived notions.

Notable Quotes

• CJ Rivers on Overcoming Fears:
  [35:09] "I have never been as confident as I was when I was pregnant."

• CJ Rivers on Legal Challenges:
  [46:46] "You're asking me to sign something that's legally binding but also telling me I have to lie on it."

• CJ Rivers on Fatherhood Affirmation:
  [41:22] "When my kid was born, they said, 'You're a dad.' That will always mean a lot to me."

Conclusion

This episode of Add to Cart offers a profound exploration of CJ Rivers' multifaceted journey to parenthood. It highlights the intersectionality of gender identity, societal expectations, and the unwavering desire to nurture life. Through candid conversations and emotional revelations, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the challenges and triumphs experienced by transgender individuals in their quest for family.

For More Information:
Visit longestshortesttime.com to view pictures of CJ and Micah, including the heartfelt "dad bod" moment shared during the episode.