Rupture & Repair (with Vicky Nguyen)

Summary

Add to Cart with Kulap Vilaysack & SuChin Pak

Episode: Rupture & Repair (with Vicky Nguyen)
Release Date: April 22, 2025

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1. Episode Overview

In this poignant episode of Add to Cart, hosts Kulap Vilaysack and SuChin Pak delve deep into personal and cultural narratives surrounding midlife challenges, parenting, and resilience. Featuring special guest Vicky Nguyen, the episode intertwines authentic conversations about navigating life's upheavals with the inspiring story of an immigrant journalist's journey in America.

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2. Personal Reflections: Navigating Midlife and Parenthood

Kulap and SuChin kick off the episode by sharing personal anecdotes that highlight the complexities of midlife, particularly the emotional and hormonal shifts experienced during menopause.

• Sujin Park Sue shares a harrowing experience: "[...] by the time you listen to it, it will have passed. But this mercury has been such a giant F you cool up has been with me on this. I've been texting her just like, I feel insane. I feel crazy. This is what happened by the way, yesterday our dryer caught on fire." ([02:36])

• The conversation naturally shifts to the concept of "Rupture & Repair", emphasizing that while conflicts and emotional breakdowns (ruptures) are inevitable, the true strength lies in the ability to repair and rebuild these relationships.

• Kulap Vilaysack remarks, "It's called the reckoning." ([06:23]), highlighting the transformational phase both hosts are undergoing as they reflect on their roles as parents and individuals.

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3. Introducing Vicky Nguyen and Her Memoir "Boat Baby"

The hosts warmly welcome Vicky Nguyen, an award-winning reporter and author of the memoir Boat Baby. They express excitement about her participation, noting the shared Southeast Asian heritage that adds depth to their conversation.

• Kulap Vilaysack enthuses, "It's so thrilling to have another Southeast Asian goddess join us here." ([01:32])

• Sujin Park Sue introduces the memoir: "Boat Baby is our Auntie Book Club pick for the month of April. Get ready to add to cart." ([33:54])

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4. In-Depth Conversation with Vicky Nguyen

Vicky Nguyen opens up about her life journey, blending humor with heartfelt insights on immigration, identity, and overcoming adversity.

• Vicky Nguyen recounts her early experiences in America: "So when I come back to America, they didn't have to say anything. It just like clicked for me. I have this incredible life and so many opportunities." ([37:06])

• She discusses the cultural challenges of growing up as an Asian American, facing stereotypes, and the resilience instilled by her immigrant parents. "Being Asian American has definitely helped me in my career, and I know that it has definitely hurt me in my career." ([45:36])

• Vicky shares a personal story about a shoplifting incident during her adolescence: "He was like, officer, by the law, by the book." ([38:34]). This moment serves as a turning point, teaching her valuable lessons about integrity and trust.

• The conversation also touches on modern challenges, such as balancing a zero waste lifestyle with family dynamics. Vicky emphasizes the importance of refusing excess consumption: "A game changer for me is the zero waste mindset and carrying around a reusable stainless steel water bottle. It's small but super easy to do and makes a huge difference." ([51:25])

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5. Key Insights and Lessons

Throughout the episode, several core themes emerge:

• Rupture & Repair: Emphasizing that conflicts are a natural part of relationships, but the focus should be on mending and understanding rather than dwelling on the disagreements.

• Immigrant Resilience: Vicky highlights how her parents' hard work and silent strength paved the way for her success, illustrating the deep-rooted values of perseverance and adaptability.

• Cultural Navigation: Balancing two cultures can be challenging, but it also offers a unique perspective that fosters innovation and personal growth.

• Sustainable Living: Adopting a zero waste lifestyle requires conscious effort and offers significant environmental and financial benefits. Vicky's approach serves as an actionable guide for listeners looking to reduce their ecological footprint.

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6. Memorable Quotes

• Sujin Park Sue: "It's called the reckoning." ([06:23])

• Vicky Nguyen: "Where there's a will, there's a way." ([47:14])

• Vicky Nguyen: "A game changer for me is the zero waste mindset and carrying around a reusable stainless steel water bottle. It's small but super easy to do and makes a huge difference." ([51:25])

• Sujin Park Sue: "It's a constant conversation, but they know." ([54:07])

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7. Conclusion

The episode wraps up with heartfelt thanks to Vicky Nguyen for sharing her compelling story. The hosts reiterate the importance of "Boat Baby" as a testament to family, resilience, and the immigrant experience. They encourage listeners to embrace their own journeys of rupture and repair, fostering stronger relationships and personal growth.

• Kulap Vilaysack: "Big thanks to Vicky for sharing her incredible story with us today. Her book came out this month. Make sure to pick up Boat Baby. It's such an amazing read." ([57:39])

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8. Final Thoughts

Rupture & Repair serves as a powerful exploration of personal growth, cultural identity, and the enduring strength of family bonds. Through candid conversations and inspiring stories, Kulap, Sujin, and Vicky offer listeners valuable insights into overcoming life's challenges and building meaningful connections.

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Note: This summary intentionally excludes advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's substantive discussions.

Transcript

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

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[Sujin Park Sue]

Also with that fire boy.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Welcome to another episode of Add to Cart. I'm your auntie, Cuckoo V. Lysack.

[Sujin Park Sue]

And I'm your other auntie, Sujin Park Sue.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

We have a very special episode today. First you and I are gonna catch up and then we're gonna have our first auntie book. Book club of 2025.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Yes.

[Sujin Park Sue]

We're going to be joined by award winning reporter Vicky Nguyen to talk about her memoir. I mean, it's such a fun read. It's called Boat Baby.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It's so thrilling to have another Southeast Asian goddess join us here.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I mean, this is the place, you.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Know, it is the place she couldn't.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Have skipped at heart.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Oh, come on.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Her worldwide tour of Boat Baby.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

That's right. That's right. Please, authors, come on. You gotta come with the aunties. You gotta sit around our fire and listen.

[Sujin Park Sue]

We don't invite everyone into the auntie book club.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Oh, come on.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Okay. There's a lot of stuff out there that we're like, no, thank you. We've never time for that.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

We have asked John Grisham to join us.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Okay, but if he were. I mean, is he still alive? Who knows?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Email us.

[Sujin Park Sue]

DM us because we're book whores.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Absolutely.

[Sujin Park Sue]

So I'm excited about our book club.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

You know, it's too. Before we bring venerated reporter Vicky Nguyen, let's get into our carts. Let's get into our. And by carts, I mean our state of mind.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Oh. Ooh.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Okay, tell me what's going on.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Wow.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I don't know. I mean. Okay, I'm just gonna say this. Everyone's so tired of it, and by the time you listen to it, it will have passed. But this mercury has been such a giant F you cool up has been with me on this. I've been texting her just like, I feel insane. I feel crazy. This is what happened by the way, yesterday our dryer caught on fire.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I'm so sorry. That is incredibly scary.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I mean I've heard of that as an urban legend, like a myth. Yeah, so that happened. And Cool up was so kind that she sent me just a giant boxes of Pimms.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Now Pimms, quickly again, former sponsors. But I'm pleading play full price.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah, full price.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Well, no, I found a discount code for 30%. But sue and I, they don't even remember us. Yeah, we're addicted to something called Mood chews.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah, I've been chewing on those mood chews, trying to just suck every good adaptogen into my body body. Because I've been so on edge, the world feels a little crazy. At large and at home, like who's dryer catches on fire? And yesterday I woke up and I was like, oh man, it's still here. And I don't know, I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the stars, I don't know if it's menopause, I.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Don'T know if it's all of the above. Yeah, it's all of that. Because this period of time that you're speaking of which you listeners are listening, this was in the past. It was not just Mercury in retrograde, it was eclipse season. And I know even the people who don't believe in this stuff, you felt it.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah. My dear friend Annie, who it's not that she doesn't believe it, just not even on her radar. I was like ranting about this and you know, I'm sure she's rolling her eyes and then she texts me later, she's like, okay, that thing that you were talking about, I just dropped my son off at the airport and I'm going to pick him back up. It's two in the morning because there's a fire at Heathrow and they've shut down Heathrow airport.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Right. About that.

[Sujin Park Sue]

So I have to go back and pick up my son because he was going to go to England for his spring break. I mean, we can find meaning in everything. And so listen, you know, if you believe very chaotic. It has been feeling very chaotic. And I think that this menopause thing is like, is also always top of mind for me because I just feel things and I feel things in a way that I've never ever, ever felt before. So I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, it's just not like me. And I. It's very rare. I think, correct me if I'm Wrong. That you wake up at age almost 50 and, like, take on new personality traits.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

You know what I mean?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Like, it's just, like, you just wake up with it. So that's why I feel like it's gotta be something hormonal, because, like, where is this coming from?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Number one, our moms didn't talk to us about that. We're the models, right, Sue?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And then there is something, too. When we discuss things like midlife crisis and we talk, there's, you know, there's the joke of, like, oh, a dude dating a younger girl and buying a Corvette. But there's also, like, you are rewired. There are things happening. Yeah, look, they say, and my therapist brought it up, marriages end during menopause. Or if they don't, they fucking change. And they have to, because ladies aren't having it. Ladies aren't having it. I mean, this is. This is real. This is a real thing.

[Sujin Park Sue]

It's called the Reckoning.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It's called the reckoning.

[Sujin Park Sue]

And 40s. The 40s were my best decade so far. Like, for sure.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

40S.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I figured a lot of shit out. 50. And it's weird because I'm coming to you with, like, what is my life. But I do believe 50 is gonna top 40 because of this reckoning. And it's a reckoning for myself, it's a reckoning for my partner, and it's a reckoning for my children. Yes, it is. And as you're saying this, I'm realizing, though, with massive change, you got to break some eggshells to make that gorgeous French omelette. You know, that silky, cheesy French omelette. So I'm in the breaking eggshells right now, and I'm not proud of it, but I know that I just have to, like, get through it. I have to also acknowledge it. And I was like, do I even bring this up? But I'm just going to be honest with you.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Here it comes.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yesterday, I made both of my children cry in succession. First, I made my son cry, and then he, you know, went off on his bike crying to his friend's house. And then I picked up my daughter from her play date, and as I was driving there, I was, like, taking deep breaths, trying to, like, calm down. And I come back to this. You know, you ever have a conversation with a friend, someone who's generally wiser, and they say something and it just sticks in your brain. It's like. It becomes, like, part of your origin story. That's how deeply embedded it is. And we Have a mutual friend, Naomi, who once said to me about the importance of rupture and repair, that it wasn't about the rupture. Because that's what we focus on is like when we always get mad, when we always scream at each other and da, da, da, da, we made our kids cry, blah, blah. What we don't focus on. What's even more important than the rupture is the repair. And that is where my 50s, that's, that's where I'm trying to get to, is the repair. So I had the rupture with my son and I was thinking about, like, how am I going to repair that? You know, when he gets back from his play date, I'm going to be like, listen, this is what happened. I shouldn't have said that. But let's talk about this. And I'm picking up my daughter and I'm feeling good about it because I'm like, okay, I'm conscious and I'm aware. My daughter does something in the car and we have a rupture. I literally said to my 10 year old daughter, don't gaslight me.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Sorry.

[Sujin Park Sue]

What? Excuse me? I literally said to my 10 year old daughter, don't gaslight me. 10 year old girls, don't. That's not where gaslighting comes from. That's not gaslighting, you crazy, crazy person.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

She's 10 year old daughter Wolverine, unable.

[Sujin Park Sue]

To control her emotions. You can't say that to a 10 year old girl, even though she's acting that way and like pushing on every single button in your state of rupture. So like, do you see what I'm saying? Chaos. Cause it's like the second before I was thinking about, oh, I can't wait to repair this with my son. That's what Sujan, don't feel guilty. Don't focus on that. Focus on how you're going to repair. And then I have this huge rupture with my daughter, bigger than my son, where I scream at her, don't gaslight me.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Sorry. But I'm also like, do you know what I'm saying? Why is that? Okay? Because I know your background and our listeners, I think have an inclination of your background too, you know, because let me tell you what, your mom never did. And I know we'll get. I'm so excited for us to talk to our upcoming guest Vicki about this and we can talk about Asian parenting and we can talk about, you know, my parents never really ever acknowledged like that they had made mistakes. And if a sorrow. Sorry, Came. It was like. It was recently.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah. 20, 30 years, 40 years later. I don't even think I've ever. Yeah. And confused. It's like, sorry.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And make no difference.

[Sujin Park Sue]

No.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

At all. Right.

[Sujin Park Sue]

No, no, no, no. We've had to do that. Repairing ourselves.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yeah. Absolutely.

[Sujin Park Sue]

For our parents. That's right.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And I do think you are becoming your next final form. And that's some. It's often not smooth. Okay.

[Sujin Park Sue]

No, it's not.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It's not smooth. It's jagged.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Wolverine. Dragon. Before she becomes a swan. Cause I see. I do. I see her. There's so many moments that is when I'm skiing down a fucking mountain. I see the swan and her feathers just flapping in the wind. So elegante. Okay. But just to get her on that slope and then to get her home is just a fiery burning hell of a dragon.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yeah. It's a herculean task.

[Sujin Park Sue]

And my kids get to be there. Front row. Ay, ay, yai yi yi. It's tough.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It's tough, but it's like. It's also the juice of life. Dare I say it?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yes. I hope it is. I hope you guys. I hope I'm sitting here 10 years from now having the 50s behind in my rearview mirror and saying, wow, was that the juice of life or what? You know, I hope that this isn't going to be a sad tale of verbal assault. I mean, who says that? Like, I don't think I. I will ever unhear myself saying that to my child. So, yeah, it's just gonna be. Listen, it is what it is. It happened. We've all been there to that degree where whatever it is that we've said to our children, we wish that we could take back. And yet the lesson is there.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

The lesson is there.

[Sujin Park Sue]

You have to see it as a lesson. Otherwise it's something else darker. So we just have to take that.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I stand with you. I support what you're saying. And you being a better person and a better parent, I'm just going to add and throw in there into the circle, into the fire. That I would prefer my mom have said to me, stop gaslighting me. Instead of saying that I found you in the trash. So. And that's one of the tamer things she said to me. So I'm just gonna. I just wanna give a little bit of context.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I get it. Hey, listen, I would have probably had a. Had a belt to my butt the way that that girl was acting. And yes, of course. I mean, that's the thing, right? You and I are trying to do the work of 17 generations in 42 hours. Like, I feel crazy. I feel insane. I feel crazy. I feel both at times like, God, these kids are so lucky to have me as a mom. It's very small percentage. And then the other times where I'm like, should they be taken away for their own sanity? Somebody help them. Somebody come to the door and it swings wildly and I just have to like focus on the repair. On the repair, repair, repair, however big that that word. I want that to be the mantra of my 50s as I go into this decade.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Well, sue, this is their childhood 100%. But this is also your motherhood and this is also your personhood.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yes. Oh, wow. I didn't even think about that. Cuckoo.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

We're not as moms, like, yeah.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Cause we're so focused on that childhood.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I know, but it's all. This is also.

[Sujin Park Sue]

This is your experience time.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yeah. Like, that's why like times people getting so pissed off at 27 year old chapel Roan for saying that all of her friends who have kids are miserable and like everyone's getting up in arms and stuff. And it's like there's nuance to that. She's 27 years old. She's, I think she's from like Missouri. Sorry. Somewhere in the south side.

[Sujin Park Sue]

But also she's correct.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yeah, also she's correct.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Also she's completely correct.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

There's systems that are in place, you know, that make it really difficult in this country to be moms. And there's not a lot of support. And I think somebody else posted to that like, oh, it's not lost on me that like it's okay for Seth Rogen to say that he doesn't want to have kids because it doesn't look fun. But if the second she goes on call your daddy and says that the people are up in arms and it's like, it's hard. It's hard. And this society does not make it any easier.

[Sujin Park Sue]

No, yeah, you're right. Oh, good goodness. This is. You're repairing me. See? And I'm back to repair.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Guys, we're not emotionalist like monks to recognize that there are things going on with us. I didn't have a great mom, but I also didn't the I'm happy I had her than some like stepford wife that like, you know what I mean? Like that that was just a robot.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Well, let's just say this. You wouldn't have your sense of humor. Yeah, listen, I'm not trying to put a fake silver Lining on it because we. Who's to know? You know what sliding door would have created what? But it wouldn't be this. You know, it wouldn't be whatever. This is crusty too. Clearance creatures. And by the way, if you're listening, being like, maybe that isn't a bad thing. You're. You're also right.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Okay, wait, did I hear you say clearance bin Creatures? Because that's very funny.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Clearance bin Creatures. You know what I mean? So is it a gift? We don't know. It is what it is. And if it's a gift, receive it. If not, stop. Throw it in the trash. Okay, I'm not forcing these beliefs on you. Anyway, we got. We gotta get to our carts.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Remove from cart for such and pak. You feeling insane?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

That.

[Sujin Park Sue]

That literally was. I erased a remove from cart. And I'll get to that in another episode. This morning I was gonna talk about Glade and Febreze plugins, but then I woke up and I said, no. Remove from cartoon. I feel insane. Yeah. So I added that this morning. Yes. And so that's my remove from cart that I just did.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, you're going through it. You're going through it, but you're conscious of it. I swear, when my mom was in a mode, like, her eyes blacked out like a demon and like, she.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I had that feeling. But lately mine has gone too hollow where it's just like the person has disappeared. The personhood and the soul has disappeared. You better watch the out because what is coming is not going to be human.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Why am I not surprised? Wow.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

You should also follow such and puck on Instagram and so you can get the subtext of what's going in her life. And I saw one story she posted where she said, when a woman laughs during an argument, that's basically saying that, you know, you're fucked.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I. You know, that's when you know the switch. I'm not going to turn the camera on me and tell you about my day. What I'm going to do is find a meme that hits me in my vagina so hard that I have to repost it as myself. That's what you're gonna get. If you don't want it, look away. But yeah, I do feel like that. That monster.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Okay, is it a monster or is it, you know, I mean. Oh, yeah.

[Sujin Park Sue]

No, it's a monster. It's a monster. Anyway, it's shiver me timbers. Not appropriate for air. I've said enough. But I can go dark.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Well, let's talk about your add to cart though, because it is. It's in the subject, kind of related.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah. Which was really interesting because again, I didn't put this together in my head when I was putting this, this together. Okay. I am adding to cart. And this book is about to come out very soon and so I'm just excited to talk about it. It's called Moms Like Us. Okay. And it was such a fun read. It is.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Okay.

[Sujin Park Sue]

On a macro level, it's about what we do, especially in la, where this book is placed. But, you know, you could sub that for any big city. New York, Chicago, San Francisco, what we do to keep up with the Joneses. And part of that as moms and moms like us, that's the title of it is, you know, when you're living in a city where you have to think about preschool in utero before your child is born, you have to think about what preschool. This is what I'm talking about. You may be listening. And living in a place where you're like, that can't be real. The thing is, is I moved to la. I was pregnant with my first child, and I could not believe that people were already asking about preschool. As I was saying, and specifically, this book is about a group of moms that live in Hancock park who are all trying to get their kids into the right middle school. And at every turn, some insane choice is made by one of these ladies. I mean, it is exaggerated and over the top, which is why I love it. It's soapy. It's a little bit like Big Little Lies meets Desperate Housewives.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Oh, yeah.

[Sujin Park Sue]

It's really. Oh, no. There's like, there's sex, there's murder, there's. I mean, it's the whole shebang.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Well, trying to get their kids into middle.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Into middle school.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Because unlike where I grew up, like, the public middle schools in LA are like, worse than worse. Horrible.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Now, the kicker is the author, Jordan Roeder was my neighbor when I lived in Hancock Park. Oh, wow. And our children were friends.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And Mahondra was across the street.

[Sujin Park Sue]

And Mahondra was across the street. She knows Jordan. She was across the street from Jordan. And I was next to Jordan. And so just reading about our neighborhood, this is an exaggerated world, you know what I mean? Like, none of these people actually exist. But just hearing her point of view, having lived in Hancock park, having understood where this was coming, it just hit bullseye in a way that like a book hasn't hit bullseye for me in a while. So anyway, it's moms like us. It was such a fun, ridiculous read. There are so many parts of this book where I'm like, no, this is not actually happening.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Will you bring this to my house when you come visit your brother next, please?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I will pass this along to you.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

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[Sujin Park Sue]

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[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Are you looking for a small but mighty game changer? Carters, look no further than JLab. They have a pair of headphones for everyone and every moment. Nowadays the epic Lux ANC over the ear headphones are never not in my carry on. They have this thing called cloud foam. Cloud foam. Doesn't that sound amazing? Cloud foam comfort. And it's exactly as it sounds. It's cushy. I'm talking complete immersive lab spatial audio so you can hear every word of Zoox Cube and you're not going to be running around looking for charging stations with JLab. This is 70 hours of playtime. And for those moments when I'm out and about looking high and low for my next obsession, it's the JLab JBuds. Mini earbuds all the way. These little guys are literally some of the tiniest, if not the smallest wireless earbuds on the market. Plus there's noise cancellation built in for calls and they actually fit and stay in your ears. Not like those other earbuds. Find the blue box at retailers everywhere or visit jlab.com and use code ADD to CART for 15% off your order today. Sue, I just want to describe a perfect game night I had two nights ago.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Okay.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And this may not be for you or really for the kids at all, Sue. So just take that in mind. It's not like a Paul Sheer pick. Okay?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Okay.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

But if you watch the show Traitors, it's a game show, it's on Peacock and it's hosted by the Amazing Alan Cumming. And you know, I have friends who watch the Australian version. The English version.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah, no, people are love this show.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Like Matt McConkey and June are like, you gotta watch the English version. That host is amazing. Anyways, I've watched the last two seasons. I really enjoy it. A group of friends got together, we hosted and we played the Traitor's card game. And the Traitor's card game. We were like, what is this? Are we, is it just playing mafia? But to like make sure that we would have a good time, we all pre purchased and arrived wearing hooded velvet capes just to get in the mood. Just to get in the mood.

[Sujin Park Sue]

And these are mental.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

This Is like with Paul of Tompkins, Janie of course with Lauren Lapkis, Mike Castle, Jessica Jardin, John Schrader. And we made Scott like Scott, you figure out what the game is, you tell us what it is, we'll eat pizza while you read the instructions. He's.

[Sujin Park Sue]

He's been in that role his entire life.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yeah, entire life.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And we were like, we were like, if we don't like it, we'll play like werewolf or like secret Hitler. Like we were already like talking about bratty kids.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

But then he explained it to us. It's a card game, but there's also an element of. He used an iPad, but sort of a digital like element where you like write down people's names, you vote people and it like adds to this like level and it's really simple. And it's also like if you guys play mafia, I think there's some like it's quicker than mafia. There are just kind of like some guardrails and makes it a little bit more fun than mafia. So if you're a fan of traitors the game then 100% get this card game. Like add to card the hooded velvet capes.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Get the hooded vested capes.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

You need it. A lot of people got green to go with the show. Paul came in with a purple and that's fine as well.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Regal.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

But I mean find other things that you could wear it for. You know, don't wear it just once or here's another thought. We're trying to play this Traders game once a month. So look, it pays for itself.

[Sujin Park Sue]

How are you guys all functioning between mahjong and traders, card games and pickleball.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I'm out of pickleball. But that is funny you bring up because Sunday was this Traders card game night. Yesterday, Monday I had friends over to play mahjong and I'm living my best life, Sue. I'm so overwhelmed. Life has picked up so fast. But you know, again, Pimms, I gotta say I'm taking these mood shoes. These mood shoes were supported for this.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Back on the horn, will ya?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I'm using you to support for stress, worry and overwhelm. Okay, yeah, I'm using you. So why don't you come back on? Yeah, help us out.

[Sujin Park Sue]

It's better than smoking a Capri Light. That's true. Which is what I've been thinking about.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

That's better mom behavior. Okay, okay. The last thing I want to share is just an add to queue. I am fully caught up in a matter of days with the TV show the Pit. Do you know anything about the show?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Of course. I mean, I haven't seen it, but it's just everywhere. And Noah Wylie, you know, in the original version of the Pit in er.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Right.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Because it. Isn't it about a hospital emergency room or something?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It is, it is. Yeah.

[Sujin Park Sue]

But like, on to the next level.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It's like the TV show 24. So every episode is one hour of a shift. So we're in full season. We're gonna be in one day shift.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Got it.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And it's. Yes. Noah Wylie is just.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Ooh, this is gonna be my next Immaculate. This is my next.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It's not even my type of show, Sue.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Like, it's my type of show. I love it.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It is. Okay, so like, er, I was like, yeah, I've seen some, but it wasn't my thing. Never. I mean, wasn't a part of the Grey's Anatomy.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah, but no Grey's Anatomy. I mean, I couldn't get into, like, it's too soapy. I like things that are much grittier. I like my TV shows to be full of gore and. Oh, drama.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Sue, then this is bullseye for you.

[Sujin Park Sue]

No, I know, I know. No, I'm saving it because randomly I got into Homeland. I'd never seen it, so I'm on season seven.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Okay, so you're finishing Homeland, and when.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I'm done, I'm gonna slide because I went for. From Ozarks. Yes, I know. I'm 10 years behind. Okay.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I went. I never did Ozark, so.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Ozark. So good. And I slid right into Homeland. So you guys are seeing where my mental state is being. And then I'm going from Homeland and I'm just sliding into the pit.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Oh, yeah, you're. You're in your carry mindset. Yeah, that's makes a lot sense.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Carrion. Homeland is so comforting to me. Like, I wish I had a big screen TV behind me. And you know how, like, when you were little, you would just, you know, would just like, play music videos or something just in the background. I just want to play Carrie's character in Homeland. Having a complete mental breakdown all the time. It relaxes me. I watch it before I go to sleep. Like, I get so sleepy. It makes me feel so calm.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Wow.

[Sujin Park Sue]

To see someone externalize my internal to the absolute perfect pitch that, like, it actually sedates me.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Wow. Anyway, I'm so glad you found it.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I had to queue the pit.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I had to queue the pit. I wanna shout out to my friend Ken Kirby, who appears later in the season I was just so happy to see him up there. He's playing a doctor. He's like. He's so great. Sue, I can't wait for you to get into this show.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I'm so into it. Okay?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And, like, this is the same group of friends who I played traitors the other day. It was Janie, Jessica, and Lauren who got me to start watching the Pit. And, like, I dragged my feet.

[Sujin Park Sue]

And then a recommendation from that holy trinity.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yes.

[Sujin Park Sue]

You know, it's gonna be good.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It's so good. Oh, boy. Suchin Pak, our guest, is an anchor and correspondent for NBC News and the Today Show. Her reporting gives consumers valuable info on how to live healthier, wealthier, and safer lives. She has numerous awards. Okay, let's just name a few.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Count them. Yeah.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

National Emmy much.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Thank you.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

The Gerald Loeb Award for business and financial Journalism.

[Sujin Park Sue]

That's right.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And the Dupont Columbia Award for Broadcast Journalism.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Thank you.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Her memoir, boat Baby, is our Auntie Book Club pick for the month of April. Get ready to add to cart.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Vicky Nguyen. Give it up. Give it up. I love to be added to the cart.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Please, please.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

A Viet queen has entered the room.

[Sujin Park Sue]

There she is.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

There she is.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I have to say, reading this book, coming from an Asian female journalist also in the Bay Area, there were at times I was like, am I reading my book?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Wow.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I mean, there were so many moments of crossover and then divergent and then crossing over. But it was just so, so fascinating and wonderful to see your whole life, from childhood to where you are today. I mean, that must have been an incredible experience to write about the whole scope of your life.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Well, Suchin, let me just say what high praise that is coming from you, MTV icon queen, who was such a part of, like, the zeitgeist. For me growing up Asian in America, right? Like, mtv, it doesn't get any more, like, high level.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Right?

[Vicky Nguyen]

Carson Daly, I now work with him at the Today show and his TRL days. Like, it's so full circle to be sitting here with you and Kulap. And I love that you say that there are parts of it you read, and you were like, wait, this is, like, my story too. That's what you hope when you write a book like this. It's supposed to be a tribute to my parents, of course, and to teach my daughters where they came from and to, like, share this immigrant experience with everybody. Whether you came to America by boat, airplane, train, whatever it was, and whatever country you came from, we all have parents, and we all have parents who've made incredible sacrifices for us in the hopes that, you know, we would have better lives. So to sit down, to put it on paper, to honor what my parents did and also the village of Americans who helped raise me. My parents were the typical immigrant parents. They got here nose to the grindstone, worked hard, and relied on the system. There were teachers, there were mentors. There were just great, like, sponsor families who helped us along the way. And I think that people need to be reminded of that generous, kind American spirit, because there were a lot of families that have resettled in the US over the years. And what makes America great is our diversity and that fabric that is woven of different cultures and languages and ideologies. And, yeah, there's a lot of conflict that comes from that, but it also breeds innovation. It also helps us all widen our perspectives. So what a gift to be able to put it on to.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Boat baby. Yes. Yes. I. My family is from Laos. I am roll call. I am an anchor baby conceived in a refugee camp. I, too, had sponsor families. They're a big part of my story. So it was wonderful to see that in yours as well. And you share so many hilarious stories in the book about navigating two cultures. Do you mind sharing one that really, like, sticks out in your memory?

[Vicky Nguyen]

Well, I will say that my parents did rely on the system to help raise me and inform me. And there was a very unfortunate incident when I was maybe 12 or 13 that involved shoplifting. So my mom would take me grocery shopping with her. And around that time, you know, I'm very interested in, like, boys and what's to come. And there's no way, as an only child, I'm talking to my parents about any of that. Crushes, this, that, and the other. But Cosmopolitan magazine was the thing. I mean, the COVID alone. When the quizzes, does he think you're sexy? What to do on the first date. You know, all the. All of the headlines were very enticing to, like, a preteen or, like, a teen that I was. So I would try to read those articles and, like, answer the quizzes and just soak in as much as I could, but there was never enough time. My mom was a pretty quick shopper, so I got the brilliant idea. Instead of just asking her to buy the magazine or, you know, bringing my own piggy bank down to spend the two bucks or whatever it was, I took one of the magazines, shoved it down my shorts, and put my shirt over it. You know, real stealthy like. And I wasn't.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Master criminal.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Yeah, Mastermind and as we're checking out, this guy comes up. Turns out he was playing closed security. And he was like, ma'am, what are. Your daughter has a magazine. She's trying to steal a magazine.

[Sujin Park Sue]

What was he doing? He knew what was going on. He clocked it. He saw that it was a teenage girl probably too embarrassed to ask her mom, and he. He still went for it. Men, dude.

[Vicky Nguyen]

He was like, officer, by the law, by the book.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Okay, But I think what Soojin's saying is a bit of a gatekeeper. Of a gatekeeper.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Listen, we all have jobs to do. I don't fault him, Mr. Security Guard Blaine, Clothes. I will say maybe he deterred me from a life of crime.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Okay. Oh, there you go.

[Sujin Park Sue]

There we go.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

There we go.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Okay. All right.

[Vicky Nguyen]

But, yeah, there were some things. I mean, that whole incident, you know, he was like, you're not welcome back at the store. You know, we're not going to call the police. I mean, he went, you. If you think it was hard that he called me out, my God, he was ready to prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. So I walk out of the store, I'm, like, humiliated. My mother is, like, confused and mortified. But we never speak of it again. You know, it was like, okay, I don't know what you thought you were doing. You got smacked down by the popo, and hopefully you learned your lesson. And that is a recurring theme. My parents definitely gave me chances to figure things out on my own. Sometimes you fail when you're trying to figure things out on your own. But ultimately, they trusted in me to learn the American way of life and relied on me in some ways. And I think that that's helped me a lot in my life as an adult.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I love what you said about, you know, your parents giving you that. Those lessons or allowing you to have those lessons. I mean, whether they did it consciously or unconsciously. Cause I think there's also a whole thing about Asian parents. You know, they don't really like to talk about the thing directly. You know, it always comes out in these, like, side sauces, you know, the condiments.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

When you're talking about something completely innocuous.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Innocuous. Then they'll just. That's the time a deep family secret comes out. A deep family secret comes out. And often it's when it's celebratory. You know, like in the middle of an engagement party. Someone once blurted out a very deep, dark secret of my father. And I was like, well, thank you. Anyway, I'm engaged.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Stole your sunshine a little.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah, that's right. But I think there is this kind of resilience, maybe that your parents taught you. And it is so woven in throughout the book, it's hard to even just pinpoint one moment or a certain value. But could you give us sort of like how they really helped you get from the immigrant story to being on national television to being a reporter? I mean, that is like threading. I mean, I know personally, just the tiniest needle through a hole. So I kind of want to hear about what you brought from your upbringing and what your parents really gave you.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Much to my parents credit, they were very much never complain, never explain. And they modeled, I think, what a lot of immigrant parents model, which hard work. And they had expectations, but not like in a tiger parent way. So it was like a perfect alchemy, I think looking back of they worked hard, they made sure I had the material things like home cooked meals, clothes that I needed, a roof over my head. You know, if I begged for a Nintendo, I would get the Nintendo. But they also expected me to do my job. And for me, my job was school. And I think one of the most formative experiences was when they took me out of sixth grade for two weeks and we went back to Vietnam for the first time. And they didn't have to say anything. I was exposed to what my life would have been like if they hadn't escaped 11 years prior. I met my cousins and aunts and uncles and it was amazing the kind of love and joy that people showed. But I also saw, wow. I don't know that I would have had an education past middle school, maybe high school if I was lucky. I have one cousin who went to college and, you know, maybe that would be me at the noodle stand after school selling bowls of noodles for 5 cents a bowl. Like, it impressed upon me how lucky I was to have basic things like running water, KFC and McDonald's Happy Meals whenever I wanted. So when I came back to America, they didn't have to say anything. It just like clicked for me. I have this incredible life and so many opportunities. I got to make the most of it. And watching them work hard seven days a week doing all of the things I think it taught me, a work ethic and also to. To keep trying and not taking no for an answer. My parents didn't talk a lot, right? Like, there wasn't like, well, let's talk about your feelings and how's your mental health? And like, you know, we love you and we're so proud of you. There's not any of that. But they ask you if you're hungry, you know, have you eaten yet? Or, like, what do you want? They were there. They were there. And I think their presence in my life taught me as much as any, like, lessons that they would have verbalized to me because we have that, like, multicultural generational difference. Like, they grew up Vietnamese. I was growing up American. There were some things lost in translation, but we figured it out.

[Sujin Park Sue]

How did they react to your passion for journalism? I'm just curious.

[Vicky Nguyen]

I was super lucky because my parents never said I had to do any one thing. And when I was young, I was all on being a veterinarian. Then I was like, oh, allergic to cats. Then I thought heart surgeon, too hard. Physical therapy with a sports medicine emphasis. I had read some things in high school, like, physical therapists. That was like, a fast growing profession, you know, in 1996, stable career. I thought, that'll be good. And then I hit O chem, wasn't doing so hot, and met a guy halfway through college. And he was just like me, but he was a Chinese Vietnamese guy, talkative, gregarious, just, like, energetic. And he was doing all these local TV internships and said, I'm majoring in communications. I'm, like, interning at Channel four and Channel five. And I was like, what?

[Sujin Park Sue]

What?

[Vicky Nguyen]

Like, I had seen TV news reporters. Obviously I'd seen you stooching, but, like, I didn't really know the path, the steps one would have to take. And here he was right in front of me saying, here, you switch your major, you apply to these internships, and this is how you do it. And he just made it so real. He's like, good friend till now, but you just needed someone to give you, like, one little lifeline, right? And say, like, you could do this too. And then I just kept at it. And there were many times I thought about leaving the business, as you know, because financially it's tough to make a living, especially in the beginning on, like, these $25,000 a year salaries. And I'm just glad I kept going. And every time I thought, maybe I'm done, I would stick it out for just, like, one more little bit. And then it's led me here, like, beyond my wildest dreams.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah, amazing.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yeah. I mean, look, you faced a lot of stereotyping in your career. I think we all have on the zoom for sure. Could you speak a little bit about how those early experiences of prejudice growing up gave you the fuel to kind of Push you through those challenges in journalism.

[Vicky Nguyen]

It was, you know, the kids would taunt you. They would pull their eyes back. You know, there was this neighbor kid who'd always, like, weirdly sing we are Siamese if you please. And it bothered me so much because, I don't know, it's like a Disney song. But the way he would sing it and pull his eyes back, I knew what he meant. He was trying to make fun of me and my Asian heritage or whatever. Yeah, he was being, like, a little cruel. Whatever. But, you know, we were kids, and so there were little things like that where, you know, someone is teasing you because of how you look or, you know, where you come from, and it's uncomfortable. But I never saw my parents complain about racism or discrimination. And I'm sure they experienced it. They were business owners. They had to, you know, deal with people, get leases. They never complained about any of that stuff. So for me, I just was like, okay, well, these are things about me I can't really change, so I'm just gonna figure it out and, like, avoid the people that talk to me in that way. And I know that being Asian American has definitely helped me in my career, and I know that it has definitely hurt me in my career. And so I feel like you take the best of who you are. You embrace and you are proud of your heritage and that you don't carry too much of a chip on your shoulder for people who are going to judge you or mistreat you or stereotype you. You just got to be the best you that you can be and, like, either prove them wrong, outwork them, work around them. You will find a way. Where there's a will, there's a way. My parents always kind of, like, operated that way, and it definitely imprinted on me.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Amazing. We're gonna take a quick break, and then I'm so delighted. I believe, that you have a few game changers to share with us.

[Vicky Nguyen]

I do.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Listen, no topic gets more heated than packing a suitcase on the show. And with Quince, I'm going for high quality travel essentials. I'm talking gorgeous organization that makes traveling easier and, dare I say, sexier. It is the perfect time for some luxe upgrades. And as always with Quince, luxe at Quince means fair prices. I just added to cart Quince's leather jewelry travel case for all my thick gold chains and the matching Italian leather toiletry bag that has dual compartments to fit all of the products from my deranged shower routine. Quince has your entire suitcase covered from compression packing cubes to luggage tags and duffel bags, they understand elegance at an affordable price like no other company out there. For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from quince. Go to quince.com addtocart for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com addtocart to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com addtocart carters I'm so excited to share this incredible book I just finished with you. Boat Baby is a memoir about family, resilience and the promise of what America can be. As you follow Vicky Nguyen's unlikely journey from refugee to NBC News anchor and correspondent, Vicki and her family were among Vietnam's boat people families fleeing the communist government in search of freedom. But leaving Vietnam to start a new life in America is only half the story. Figuring out how to be American is the other. With heart and humor, Vicki celebrates her parents grit and resilience, shares childhood misadventures, and talks openly about combating stereotyping throughout her career and her struggle to be a dutiful daughter. Olivia Munn calls Boat Baby a love letter to all immigrant families and Hoda Kotb says it reads like a thriller and a love story and a how to on finding your voice. Boat Baby available wherever books are sold.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Hi, I'm Emily Deschanel.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

And I'm Carla Gallo and we're here.

[Sujin Park Sue]

To bring you Boneheads, the official Bones Rewatch podcast. That's right, we're watching all the episodes.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Of Bones starting with episode one and.

[Sujin Park Sue]

We are the right people to do it. I play Dr. Temperance Brednnan and I met Carla 16 years ago on set. I played Daisy Wick. Tune in every Wednesday day to hear all our behind the scenes stories, conversations with cast and crew and our favorite moments. Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

We are back on Add to Cart with special guest author of Boat Baby, a gorgeous memoir by Vicky Nguyen Vicki. Please, please. Oh God, I'm so delighted. What? What? Game changers. Aside from your book, which of course everybody. Add to Cart.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Add to Cart. Add to Cart.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

What are you into these days?

[Vicky Nguyen]

I love so much that you ask this question and I will say it's a little bit counterintuitive but years ago I did a story about people who live zero waste lifestyles and so it taught me to refuse as the first R. So you hear about recycling and Reducing and reusing. But the first R is refusing. I met this woman, and her family of four produced, like, this much trash that could fit into the palms of your two hands per year. Because her first step is to refuse anything coming into her house. Like those kids Valentine's that they make at school, and then they exchange them, and they come home with all this plastic junk and wrappers and candy and, you know, erasers. She would tell her kids to leave that at school, and she would have them bring a glass jar, reusable, filled with, like, chocolate chip cookies, and they would give those out as their Valentine's. And it's like, once, you know, you can't unknow. So she refuses the plastic water bottle that someone offers her. Once her husband was gonna get a free printer with a laptop that he was buying, and she was like, absolutely not. We have a printer. And he was like, but it's free. And her point was, well, you take that off the shelf, it creates space for another one, and we don't need this, so we're gonna refuse. And ever since then, I have really kind of been obsessed with trying to refuse as much as I can. It's hard when you have three daughters and they want stuff and, like, stuff, and people want to give them stuff. But one small game changer for me has really been thinking very consciously about what things, material objects I accept into my life and purchase myself. So when I add to cart, it has to be something very practical, useful, hopefully sustainable and helpful. And I will say one of my favorite things, a game changer for me, this little yeti that was given to me by the very Asian foundation. It comes with me everywhere, and I love it because the lid has a handle. It's very easy to clean. There is no straw. You got to get a straw brush. And I use it when I go traveling. You know, you fill it up at the airport, and it's just reduced so much plastic waste in my life. So a game changer for me is the zero waste mindset and carrying around a reusable stainless steel water bottle. It's small but super easy to do and makes a huge difference.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I mean, you're a superhero.

[Sujin Park Sue]

That's when we have it. One we haven't tackled here on add to cart is refuse. Because that's. That's bold. That's not a no, thank you. That's not a huh, Let me think about it. Which we've done. This is straight up middle, fingers up refuse. This is a hard 20, 25. Look at our lives.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

It's a no, it's a period.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah. And saying these like blurry lines that we're creating around changes and I put that in quotation just is not working. I'm feeling that. Especially today. I don't know, I woke up in a very refused mood.

[Vicky Nguyen]

It's a little bit of like the no spend challenge.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Right.

[Vicky Nguyen]

It's like it helps you harness your budget and your finances. It helps you help the planet. Because look, we probably between us, we have enough clothes in our closet for the rest of our lives.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Don't say that. That hurts. That hurts my feelings.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Well, I wish you lived closer because then I could raid your closets and we could borrow things and swap things.

[Sujin Park Sue]

But it is amazing. Yeah.

[Vicky Nguyen]

As a little reminder for us because, you know, like, God, the tick tocks and the over consumption and the way that we Americans live and then expect everyone else to take our garbage. Not cool.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Not cool. I want to know how your three daughters react to this philosophy. How do you negotiate that? How do you manage their expectations?

[Vicky Nguyen]

I try to show it to them. So I can't be like, look at all my Amazon boxes. No, you can't have anything. You got to make a case. Like, you need these shorts because you compete in a sport. This is part of your equipment. Great. If it's something nice, it's a birthday or it's the holidays. I try not to be like a total scrooge about stuff. And it's a constant conversation, but they know. Do not bring a party favor into my house. Do not bring yourself a plastic bag with some oriental trading company things that got to stay at the party.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Okay, I have another follow up question because of course I'm personalizing this and I'm looking to you for advice and for guidance. What about family members?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Oh, yes. What about getting all that stuff?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Yeah. Getting all that stuff on birthdays, Christmas. Yeah. Anytime they come over wanting to like give stuff. How do you communicate to them this philosophy?

[Vicky Nguyen]

Ongoing conversation. Like my own mother who lives with us. 4.99 Marshalls. 30 new hair scrunchie things showed up yesterday. Yesterday. And I'm like, mom, do you see how many hair scrunchie things we have? Look, it's a vast Wasteland of hair.

[Sujin Park Sue]

$4.99, Vicki.

[Vicky Nguyen]

Exactly. It's on sale. And they're so cute. They're like new colors that she doesn't have. And I'm like, I'm the one that cleans it up. Or I'm the one that has to wrangle the things so it is a constant negotiation. It's a conversation. I mean, like, listen, what am I gonna tell my mother in law? Nothing. Because she's my mother in law and she can do whatever she wants. You pick your battles. You choose your battles. You choose which you'll die.

[Sujin Park Sue]

So you fight blood. You fight blood.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I had to say to my sister in law and I love her. She's a saint. She's a NICU nurse at Chalk. Okay? She saves lives, Angel. She handles ecmo. I've seen the pit now. I know what it is. But I had to say to her friends, no more crocs. No more crocs. We can have no more crocs.

[Vicky Nguyen]

No more gibbets. Think of the sea turtle that's gonna swallow that gibbet when it ends up in a landfill in the arms of. No. My kids are like, oh, my God, get off the bully pulpit about that. But it's literally now, you know, and you can't unknow. So maybe your listeners too will just think the next time they're like, do I need that extra plastic water bottle or that bag? When you go shopping, I will stuff so many things in my purse. I'm always like, no, I don't need a bag. I'm good. And like, I'll be walking out of the, you know, if I have to get groceries or something, it's just all stuffed in my purse. But it's just like when you can say no, it's freeing. And no is a full sentence, as they say. And then you'll be like, yeah, that's one less thing I have to deal with in my house.

[Sujin Park Sue]

I have shivers.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I mean, shivers. Shivers.

[Sujin Park Sue]

That's a game changer.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Thank you so much for joining us. This was an absolute delight. I wish we could spend more time with you. I want to pick your brain. You have a voice of authority. Let me just on record say that.

[Vicky Nguyen]

I am so grateful to both of you.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Yeah. She's never asked me these questions. You know, I sit with her every week. Not one question has been asked to me for a time.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

I don't respect your choices. Such. And I love you, but I don't respect your choices.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Oh, my God.

[Vicky Nguyen]

You guys are the best. This was such an amazing experience and so fun to chat with you. I love your podcast. I love the theme of it, and thank you for asking me questions that only the two of you could have asked.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Thank you so much, Vicki.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Big thanks to Vicky for sharing her incredible story with us today. Her book came out this month. Make sure to pick up Boat Baby. It's such an amazing read.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Boat Baby is full of heart and humor. There's so many lessons from this voice of authority that we can learn from.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Go grab Boat Baby. Wherever books are sold, trust us, you're gonna want to hear more of Vicki's journey. We'll see you again soon. Bye. Carters by.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Add to Cart is an Auntie's unlimited production with sales and distribution by Lemonada Media. Executive producers are Kulat, Balai, Sock and Sujinpak. Tony Williams is our engineer. The music is by Wasabi and produced by LA Made it and oh so familiar with additional music by APM Music. Be sure to check out all the items mentioned today on our Instagram at Add to Cart Pod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. There's more Add to Cart with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content. Subscribe now at Apple Podcasts. Want more from your favorite Lemonada Media podcasts while supporting the shows that help make life suck less? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today. As a subscriber, you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like never before heard interviews, behind the scenes moments, bonus episodes, and so much more. It's easy to sign up no matter what podcast app you use on Apple. You can just click the Lemonada logo in the Apple podcast app and hit subscribe. For all other podcast apps, head to Lemonada Supportingcast FM to subscribe. That's Lemonada Supportingcast FM. Are you in bed by 10?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Can you feel your hormones raging more than ever? Do you wake up every day wondering, is this it?

[Sujin Park Sue]

Guess what?

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

You're not alone.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Welcome to my soul called Midlife, a.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

Weekly podcast hosted by me, Reshma Sajani. On this show, we're gonna expose the con we've been sold about middle age.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Figure out what the fuck we want.

[Cuckoo V. Lysack]

From our lives and how to get there. We'll have help from guests like Julia Louis Dreyfus, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown.

[Sujin Park Sue]

Jackson and Alana Glaser. You can listen to my so called Midlife ad free on Amazon Music.