403 | You Are NOT Your Hustle | Learning to SIT Down & Take a Break. Reclaiming Rest & Finding Your Worth Beyond the Hustle | Pep Talk Wednesday

Summary

Affirmations for Black Girls Podcast Episode 403 | "You Are NOT Your Hustle | Learning to SIT Down & Take a Break. Reclaiming Rest & Finding Your Worth Beyond the Hustle | Pep Talk Wednesday" Release Date: January 15, 2025 Host: Tyra The Creative

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Introduction

In Episode 403 of the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast, host Tyra The Creative delves deep into the pervasive culture of hustle and the critical importance of rest. Titled "You Are NOT Your Hustle," this episode serves as a heartfelt pep talk, encouraging listeners to reclaim their worth beyond their productivity and to prioritize self-care in a world that incessantly glorifies non-stop work.

The Necessity of Rest

Tyra opens the discussion by challenging listeners to reflect on when they last allowed themselves to do nothing. She emphasizes that in a society that equates busyness with value, taking a break is often misconstrued as failure. However, Tyra asserts, "Rest is not lazy and it is very necessary. And you are more than what you accomplish, and your worth is not tied to your hustle" (02:15).

She underscores that rest is a "radical act of self-care and resistance against a hustle culture that ties your values to how much you achieve." By choosing to rest, individuals allow their minds and bodies to recover, fostering creativity and enabling them to present their best selves.

Personal Anecdotes: Learning from Her Mother

Tyra shares a personal story about her mother's experience with surgery during the past Christmas. Her mother, embodying the resilience of strong Black women, struggled to rest post-surgery despite medical advice. Tyra recounts:

"I remember I was talking to my mama... she wasn't doing what she needed to do about that. So I was just explaining that to her because she, I was on the phone with her and she was like, I'm just so tired... That's why you're tired. Because your body is using that energy where it is most important at this moment." (04:50)

This narrative illustrates the ingrained mindset of always being busy and the difficulty many face in embracing rest, especially within strong familial roles.

The Impact of Hustle Culture and Burnout

Tyra delves into the psychological effects of constant hustle, highlighting feelings of anxiety and the fear of falling behind. She acknowledges her own struggles with similar feelings, noting:

"I have to constantly remind myself that it's going to be there tomorrow. Our well being is way more important than any work that we do, even if it has a deadline attached." (05:30)

She warns of the dangers of burnout, describing its symptoms—exhaustion, irritability, and a lack of focus—and the prolonged recovery it necessitates. Tyra passionately argues that "taking those breaks and taking time to rest does not diminish our value. It protects it." (07:10)

Redefining Success

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to redefining what success means on a personal level. Tyra challenges the conventional metrics of success, such as titles and income, advocating for a more holistic approach that aligns with individual fulfillment and joy. She encourages listeners to:

• Align Success with Personal Fulfillment: "Defining a success means aligning it with what truly brings you fulfillment and joy and not what society or others expect of you." (11:05)

• Prioritize Quality Over Quantity: "It's better to excel in a few meaningful areas than to spread yourself thin trying to do it all." (12:00)

• Celebrate Small Wins: "Celebrating those small wins and making those big will help us in living more intentionally and living more authentically." (13:45)

Tyra emphasizes the importance of letting go of comparison, especially in a social media-driven world, asserting that "your path is not my path. Her path is not his path. Amen." (16:20)

Practical Challenges and Tips for Embracing Rest

To empower listeners to incorporate rest into their lives, Tyra introduces a practical challenge:

1. Schedule Intentional Rest: Allocate a day or few hours for activities that foster calm and happiness, such as reading, walking, or journaling. "Choose one activity that makes you feel calm and happy, like reading, taking a walk, or simply relaxing without your phone." (12:30)

2. Reflect on the Benefits: After engaging in rest, write down three ways it helped reconnect with oneself or boosted your mood. "Reflect on how it feels to step away from productivity and truly allow yourself to recharge." (16:00)

3. Embrace Rest as Maintenance: Tyra likens rest to routine maintenance, essential for sustained performance. "Rest is maintenance. And it's very important that we understand the power of rest and we understand that resting is not doing nothing." (06:20)

Additionally, Tyra recommends integrating nurturing practices, such as listening to lo-fi music for relaxation and deep work, as effective methods to calm the mind.

Conclusion

Tyra wraps up the episode by reinforcing the message that "you are not your hustle." She encourages listeners to view rest as an essential component of their lives, integral to their overall well-being and success. By embracing rest and redefining success on personal terms, individuals can live more balanced and fulfilling lives.

She leaves listeners with a motivational challenge to incorporate intentional rest into their routines and to let go of comparisons. "You deserve to live a life where your worth isn't something that you have to prove, but something that you already know." (17:50)

Key Takeaways

• Rest is Essential: Far from being a sign of laziness, rest is a necessary act of self-care that supports mental and physical health.

• Redefine Success: Align success with personal fulfillment rather than societal expectations, prioritizing quality over quantity.

• Embrace Intentional Rest: Actively schedule and value rest periods to prevent burnout and foster creativity.

• Let Go of Comparisons: Recognize and honor your unique path without measuring success against others.

Notable Quotes

• Tyra The Creative (02:15): "Rest is not lazy and it is very necessary. And you are more than what you accomplish, and your worth is not tied to your hustle."

• Tyra The Creative (04:50): "That's why you're tired. Because your body is using that energy where it is most important at this moment."

• Tyra The Creative (11:05): "Defining a success means aligning it with what truly brings you fulfillment and joy and not what society or others expect of you."

• Tyra The Creative (16:20): "Your path is not my path. Her path is not his path. Amen."

• Tyra The Creative (17:50): "You deserve to live a life where your worth isn't something that you have to prove, but something that you already know."

Final Thoughts

Episode 403 of Affirmations for Black Girls is a profound reminder of the importance of self-worth beyond productivity. Tyra The Creative masterfully weaves personal anecdotes with actionable advice, guiding listeners towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. By challenging the relentless hustle culture, this episode empowers Black women to prioritize their well-being and embrace rest as a cornerstone of their success.

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Connect with Affirmations for Black Girls:

• YouTube: Watch the video episode for a more immersive experience.
• Podcast Platforms: Subscribe to stay updated with future episodes.
• Social Media: Follow @AffirmationsForBlackGirls on TikTok and other platforms for daily inspiration.

Challenge: Schedule intentional rest this week and reflect on its impact on your well-being. Share your experiences with the community to inspire others.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's valuable insights and discussions.

Transcript

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[Tyra the Creative]

Okay, let's ask ourselves a question. When is the last time that you gave yourself permission to do absolutely nothing? In a world that praises the grind, taking a break can feel like a failure. But here's the truth. Rest is not lazy and it is very necessary. And you are more than what you accomplish, and your worth is not tied to your hustle. And we all need to reclaim that sense of peace that comes with slowing down what is going on. Beautiful people. Welcome back to another Pep Talk Wednesday. I am Tyra the creative, your host and virtual cheerleader for the day, delivering a midweek pick me up that you have been craving. So get ready for some encouraging words and a dose of inspiration to brighten your day. And just so you guys know, this is a video episode. So you can watch us over on our YouTube channel or you can keep on listening if you're just listening. But if you've been feeling like you're running on empty or like your value is measured by how busy you are or how full your calendar is, then this episode is a reminder to pause. So today we're going to talk about how to step away from the grind and prioritize your joy. And remember that your worth is not something that you have to earn. It's already yours. So let's jump right in. So the biggest thing about today's pep talk episode that I want you to take away is that rest is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Especially in a world where we glorify non stop productivity. Choosing rest is a radical act of self care and resistance against a hustle culture that ties your values to how much you achieve. Rest allows your mind and your body to recover. It sparks creativity and it helps you show up as your best self. I remember I was talking to my mama, y'all, and this past Christmas time while I was home, she ended up having surgery. She's fine. It was like an outpatient surgery, but the doctor told her that she needed to rest for six weeks. Here's one thing about strong black women, the older generation, they don't know how to sit down. And I was constantly telling my mama Me and her husband constantly telling her to sit down, rest. And a lot of times, well, the first week she could barely move. But after that she tried to like get up and start doing stuff. And I definitely identify with that because she was like, well I got this, this, this, this, so many things to do. And I was like, I identify with that because when I am sitting down and I have a bunch on my plate, I feel like I'm wasting time. I feel like I am just pushing deadlines back and all of the things. I totally get it. And I want to say that those feelings come from a place of anxiety. They come from a place of worry that you won't get. While I also struggle with that, I have to constantly remind myself that it's going to be there tomorrow. Our well being is way more important than any work that we do, even if it has a deadline attached. Especially living in Los Angeles and living this creator lifestyle. I have struggled with emptying my plate and I talked about this a little bit in a previous episode, but this year I'm sitting down. I am not overloading myself. I am not saying yes to everything. And in that I have to make time for me to just rest. I remember I was saying I can't remember the last time I was bored. I haven't given myself time to be bored because my schedule is always jam packed and we always talk about like hustle culture and you can sleep when you did and all of that bump that we not doing that anymore. In 2025. Your power is in your rest. Your power is in your ability to take time for yourself, fill your cup up and come back 100 ready to rock and roll. There are so many different things out there, resources out there and tactics that you can use to help you create a more productive work life balance. And I am definitely one of those people that are trying to implement that in my life. But back to my mama, so she was saying I got this, this, this, that do. And I'm like, ma, you literally just had surgery and this is the perfect like example of your body needing rest. When you are constantly moving around, you're, you're not giving yourself, your body time to heal itself. And for in my mama's case, she had just had surgery. Her body needed all of the energy that it could use to heal her insides after surgery. And that's why the doctor gave her a six week, week sit down period. And she just wasn't doing what she needed to do about that. So I was just explaining that to her because she, I was on the phone with her and she was like, I'm just so tired, I can't really do much in a day. And I was like, ma, you haven't even hit that six week mark yet. That's why you're tired. Because your body is using that energy where it is most important at this moment. This work that you're doing is not most important. Cleaning up the house is not what's most important. What's most important is making sure that you are your best self and that you are 100% before you go out there and do XYZ in the world. Because them dishes still going to be there, that job's still going to be there, that task is still going to be there. And if it's not still there, then by the grace of God, somebody on your team took care of it. Amen. But what I'm saying is yes, our jobs are important. Yes, what we have going on on a daily basis is important. But rest is even more important. So we can always work efficiently. You're not going to be driving a car that's not getting a tune up. Let's say that you had a road trip coming up. You gonna take your car and you gonna go and get it inspected. You're gonna make sure that the tire is good, that all the fluids are good. Everything that is also what rest is doing. Now, that's not a period of rest, but it's maintenance. Rest is maintenance. And it's very important that we understand the power of rest and we understand that resting is not doing nothing. Resting, even though your body is laying idle, it is a very important job that you have to set aside that time. And when you're resting, it isn't being lazy, it isn't wasting time, it isn't being bored or whatever the case may be. It's a way to recharge and sustain your energy for the things that matter the most to you. Whether it's in your job, your, you know, career, whatever. It's all about what matters most. And it's very important that we learn to listen to our bodies. Burnout is a buzzword that has been around for a long time now. And burnout can look like exhaustion, irritability, a lack of focus, even a lack of creative ideas. And when our bodies finally say, okay, look, I've had enough, that burnout can take us months and months and months to come back from when if you were investing small restful breaks into your day to day, making sure that you're going to bed on time all of that, we wouldn't need those six months to get ourselves back together. And that's why it's so important. So it's very important to remind ourselves that taking those breaks and taking time to rest does not diminish our value. It protects it, so protects it. So we really have to release all the guilt attached to resting, because resting literally makes our world go round.

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[Tyra the Creative]

I could really talk about this all day. And I think a lot of us not resting has to do with how we define success. Success is deeply personal and it isn't limited to titles, to income, or even your accomplishment and refining red Defining a success means aligning it with what truly brings you fulfillment and joy and not what society or others expect of you. It's about embracing balance and choosing goals that nurture your whole self so it can look different for everybody. So ask yourself, what brings you happiness, what brings you peace, and what brings you meaning? Rather than Chasing external validation or trying to fit into the box of what other people deem as successful and also prioritize quality over quantity. It's better to excel in a few meaningful areas than to spread yourself thin trying to do it all just because you see Becky down the street trying to do it all. And this is something that we have talked about a lot at the top of the year, but celebrate those small wins. I am a firm believer that celebrating those small wins and making those big will help us in living more intentionally and living more authentically. And it'll also help to help us to understand that success is not just about those big milestones. So when you are hitting these smaller milestones and things like that you have subconsciously, I start to get an idea of, okay, I really need to reward myself. And a lot of times that reward looks like a beach day. It looks like taking myself to the movies. Like, there are so many different ways to rest. And I think if we. We retrain our brain to think about our smaller wins, we inevitably will start resting in a lot of different ways. Right. So we talked about our New Year Define Me workbook, and at the very beginning, we talk about all of our small wins. So if you haven't gotten the New Year Define Me workbook yet, it is always linked in the show notes of the episodes. I'm gonna keep it linked down there for you guys. But go ahead and get the workbook because there's just so many key moments in there that can help us with rest, help us with accomplishing our goals for the year and really putting our lives into perspective and creating the life that we personally want to live. And the biggest, biggest, biggest thing. Let go of comparison. We live in a social media first world, and it's very hard to not compare yourself to people. I'm not saying that it's easy because I find myself falling into that trap all the time, but then I'm like. Whenever I recognize, I'm like, tyra, hold up. Let's take a step back. Because you are one of a kind. Everybody is one of a kind. Your path is not my path. Her path is not his path. Amen. So when you let go of that comparison, your version of success does not have to look like what you seeing on TikTok. Ain't got to look like what you're seeing on YouTube. There is not just one path to success. And when we get that in our heads and we truly live in that and. And lean into that, I really think we'll stop being so hard on ourselves when it comes to accomplishing X, Y and Z. Because again, we have to make time to rest. And if we're constantly comparing ourselves and looking at what everybody doing on social media, it's easy to think, oh well, they're always working, they always posting something. It's easy to think that. But you don't know what's going on behind closed doors. You don't know if they are burnt out, you don't know their mental state, all of that. And I truly believe when we invest in ourselves and we take rest seriously, we'll be able to get exactly where God has always deemed for us to go. So I say all this to say I'm going to give you guys a challenge. You already know we always do a challenge for Pep Talk Wednesday. So I challenge you to schedule a day or even a few hours for intentional rest, not when you're going to sleep. Okay? Even though if y'all be playing and going to sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning and gotta be up for work at 8, you're playing and you need to get more, more sleep. But this is about intentional rest outside of that. So choose one activity that makes you feel calm and happy, like reading, taking a walk, or simply relaxing without your phone. One thing that I love to do is, especially if I am like building a Lego set or journaling is to listen to lo Fi. I have a complete like hour long lo Fi track over on the YouTube channel. So you can always go and listen and it's great for like deep work. Or I listen to lo fi when I'm going to sleep as well. If you wanted to take like a quick nap or anything. Lo fi has just been such a game changer for me and it really helps to calm the noise in my brain when I want to listen to some music or whatever. But I don't really want the words. I always go for lo Fi. So once you do that, once you pick something after you do it, reflect on how it feels to step away from productivity and truly allow yourself to recharge. Y'all charge your phones every night, so don't even come up here saying, dang, that ain't gonna help me recharge. We recharge our phones every night. This is something that we should always be doing. Now once you've done that, write down three ways that resting in this way, whatever you chose helped you to reconnect with yourself or it helped to boost your mood. You are not your hustle. Resting does not mean you are falling behind. It means you are investing in you and taking care of the person who makes all of this possible. You Rest and joy are just as essential as any accomplishment and they allow you to live a life that feels whole and balanced. And by embracing rest as revolutionary and redefining success on your own terms, you are choosing to show up as your best self, not just for others, but for yourself, day after day. So I really encourage y'all to reflect on what success means to you and what rest means to you and really take inventory of if you are comparing yourself. What would it look like to truly honor both rest and success? Because you deserve to live a life where your worth isn't something that you have to prove, but something that you already know. Now I'm gonna leave it at that for y'all. So thank you guys so much for listening to this Pep Talk Wednesday episode. And if today's episode resonated with you, share with a friend who might need this reminder because rest is important. Sit your tail down. Sit your tail down and rest. But thank you guys so much for listening. I will see you guys again in two weeks for our next Pep Talk Wednesday episode. But until then, make sure you're subscribed to the YouTube channel. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast. Leave us a ra a review. Yalls reviews. They just warm my heart. They honestly do. Follow us on social media. You can find us everywhere at Affirmations for Black Girls on Tik Tok. We're at AFBG Underscore Podcast, but go ahead and follow. Follow us. And thank you guys so much for listening. And if you didn't take anything else from this episode, please rest. It is important for your livelihood. And with that being said, I'll see you guys again soon. This is Affirmations for Black Girls.

[Geico Representative]

All you homeowners have unique needs. Some feel the need to paint their door a vibrant shade of blue. Others have the need to decorate their bathroom with fish anchors and other nautical items. And because each homeowner has unique needs, GEICO helps you get the right coverage for your home and what's in it. That way you get exactly what's right for you, even if your needs are unique. Get more with Geico.