← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
406 | Entering My Do Not Disturb Era: If It Drains Me, It is NOT for Me. Prioritizing Myself & Protecting My Peace at ALL COSTS.
00:48:21
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- [00:00]
Sponsor Announcer
This podcast is sponsored by Ramp. Look, there's feelings and then there's the facts. If you're feeling like your finance team is bogged down in mundane manual tasks, the fact is you need Ramp. Ramp is the corporate card that makes the expense process fast and easy. The moment your team makes a purchase, Ramp handles everything. Receipt, collection and approvals the works. With Ramp, you can cut your month end close from five days to one, customize approval workflows and get complete control over every transaction. Facts. Over 25,000 businesses trust RAMP, including Shopify and the Boys and Girls Club of America, which is why they were just named number one in spend management by G2. Facts. Start using ramp and you'll have more time to spend scaling your business and that'll feel really good. Upgrade to Ramp for free today and get $250@ramp.com that's ramp.com r a m p.com cards issued by Sutton bank members. FDIC terms and conditions apply.
- [01:00]
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- [01:30]
Tyra
I think it's way past time that I start to step into my do not disturb era. What is going on? Beautiful people? You are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator and mental health enthusiast. And it looks a little different in here if you are watching the podcast. Hello, welcome to my living room kitchen duo. I'm literally sitting on top of my couch right now because I just wanted to chat with you guys. I have been in a space where I just want to yap. Y'all know everybody's saying yap now. I just want to yap with y'all. I just want to chat, chit chat a little bit because my life is changing so much right now that it has been very difficult for me to sit down and write out podcast outlines like I normally do. So if you like these type of episodes, please let me know if you're like, hey Tyra girl, I need you to, you know, write out a little outline Give me a bunch of resources, definitions, you know, all of that stuff that I do sometimes. Please let me know. I really like to hear from you guys because without y'all, there would be no affirmations for black girls community. So. So I do value Yalls opinion, but at the space of my life that I'm in right now, I've been needing to more so use this podcast as an outlet for me because that is actually why I started this podcast in the first place. And it ended up growing into something that I really never thought it would become, y'all. So with that being said, as I AM entering into 2025, well, we're almost two months in at this point, but as I am walking through the beginning of 2025, I'm realizing that I need to enter a do not disturb era. And that doesn't mean shutting people out. That doesn't mean telling people, hey, I don't f with you no more. Like, that's not what I'm really talking about here. But since our February theme is loving on you, somet self love can look like saying no self love can look like falling back. It can look like releasing the responsibility of doing certain things. And I've realized that I've just needed a little bit more of that in my life lately. So before we jump all the way into what I want to chat about today, let's go ahead and get into our affirmation of the week. This week's affirmation is if it drains me, it's not for me. Let's go ahead and drop in, y'all. If it drains me, it's not for me. If it drains me, it is not for me. If it drains me, it is not for me. If it drains me, it is not for me. Think about something that has been draining you lately, something that has been pulling all of of your energy. If it drains me, it is not for me. How does it feel when that thing that you're thinking of drains you? What are you left with? Do you feel depleted? Do you need a nap? If it drains me, it is not for me. Let's go ahead and say it one last time together. If it drains me, it is not for me, y'all. That affirmation, it's so simple. And for today's episode, I was like, what can I say? That is just simple and straight to the point that Tyra needs to hear here. That's the thing, y'all. A lot of this stuff or most of this stuff that I talk about on the podcast, I'VE been needing to hear it. Y'all just, you know, second wind, honestly, to keep it a buck. Because this podcast is something that I have always said. It's something that I wish I had growing up so I can talk about the ins and outs of being a black girl doing in whatever stage of life I am in at the moment. So this affirmation, if it drains me, it is not for me. It is so to the point. We've all been in situations where there have been some things that have drained us, and we just keep on going. We keep on putting up with it. We keep on chugging along saying, okay, well, I ain't going to never do that again, or, okay, well, it just got to be like that sometimes, or whatever the case may be. And I'm here to say, if it drains me, it is not for me. And it's so hard to just live in that 100% in the world we live in today, because there are a lot of draining things, and sometimes we do have to do hard things. But at the root of this affirmation, I am referring to the things that we say yes to, that we don't have to say yes to, the things that we put up with, that we do not have to put up with, that do not have a direct tie to our livelihood. I'm talking about those things when I say if it drains me, it is not for me. And there's a difference between things that drain us and things that just require a lot of energy at the time. And y'all know what I'm talking about. For example, I just launched Tyra's Table, and we'll talk about that a little later in the episode. But I just launched Tyra's Table, and I had a launch dinner party for it. It's my lunch party dinner party here at my apartment where I served 20 guests. And when I say I was depleted after this, but when I sat down on my couch after my launch party had ended, I was so overwhelmed with joy. And I was filled with joy. My heart was full. I felt accomplished. I was tired and I needed to go to sleep, but I felt full. When we are talking about things that drain us, it's things that leave us feeling empty and tired. So think about that when you're thinking about, okay, Tyra, are those some things? Are there some things in my life that drain me, or is it just that I'm tired? Is it just that it took a lot of energy to do? Because there is a difference. And deep down, you know, the Difference. Take some time to reflect on that and you'll find the difference. So when I say I'm stepping into my do not disturb era, it's just like my phone, like my phone lives in do not disturb. And for a while, since I live far away from home, I have been thinking to myself, maybe I shouldn't have my phone on do not disturb. What if my mama needs to get through, my daddy needs to get through all of these things? And that mindset has trickled over into my daily life here in Los Angeles, and I have been getting into a space where I kind of take a back seat, especially when it comes to relationships. Of course, you already know that's my kryptonite, and it's something that I'm really working on and working with God on. And I've been told since a very young age that that is the way that the devil is trying to distract, and that is going to be where I need to focus. I've been told that since a very young age. And it's trickled over into relationships and my career. And at this point in my life, I have just been letting things happen. And we kind of touched on this a little bit at the top of the year. But it's time to hit that do not disturb button in relationships and hit that do not disturb button in my career. Because my do not disturb, do not disturb, I'm talking about, in a sense, when it comes to my time, my peace, and my energy, it's not about shutting people out. It's about setting boundaries that allow me to show up as my belt, my best self. I'm not moving with obligation anymore or, oh, well, this just fell into my lap. I might as well just go in and do it. I want to start moving with intention because when you set your phone on do not disturb, you can let certain people through. You can set your favorites up to come through. You can set certain apps up to come through. Alarms come through. That is intention. So I want to do the same in my physical life. So let's go ahead and jump into everything else. We've been here before, but in relationship, especially romantic relationships, and we're going to touch on platonic too, here. But in romantic relationships, I have been a very go with the flow person. I've told y'all about the boyfriend that I had when I moved out to la. I've told you about subsequent relationships, and I have always been very go with the flow or we'll see what happens. I don't want to be with this man, forever. But somewhere down the road, I'm gonna let it go instead of doing it in the moment. Right? And I don't want to be that anymore. I was literally sitting on my bed yesterday, frustrated. I've been so frustrated in life right now, and it is partially like relationships, but also in my career. But I'm frustrated because I'm in a space where nothing, not nothing, that's a hasty generalization. But a lot of things are not happening for me. Things that I desire are not happening. And I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing to get those things. And moral of the story, I'm probably not to the complete sense, but it's time to trim the fat. It's time to cut down on the fluff. Because I say that I want a husband, but I'm gonna keep it a buck with y'all. I'm still entertaining guys that I have told y'all that I was gonna stop talking to, but they keep popping back up, and I keep letting them waste my time. And I know that it's not going anywhere. But there's also that those feelings of loneliness, especially in a place like LA where it so lonely. There are times when I just want companionship. And sometimes I. My friends are busy. Sometimes I just want to be hugged. Sometimes I just want to be around male energy. There are times, obviously, it's like, okay, yes, I have friends. Yes, I. I definitely lean on my friends, and I hope my friends lean on me. But there are some times where you just want to be around masculine energy as a woman. Point blank period, the end. And that's okay. But I need to have things in place where I am not just allowing men to waste my time. And I am still getting to the point where I can nip it in the bud right then and there. There are. So I talked to my friends about this all the time. Like, we're gonna talk about white women for a second. White women in a general sense. And I don't like to talk about race, y'all, but this is what I'm saying. White women are raised to find a husband. They are raised not to waste their time. They are raised to look at what they. To look for what they want. And if that man ain't got it, they move on to the next with the quickness. I wish I had that superpower, because that's why you find a lot of. And obviously not everybody. I'm not talking about everybody, y'all, but in a general sense, they are looking for Someone with status, stature, success, whatever, one of those S's, right? And in the black community, especially where I'm from, I'm from the south, we deal with hard love. I have. I was raised around a lot of hard love and people who just stuck it out. That is what is deeply ingrained in me. And that is what. That's a generational curse that I want to break. I don't want hard love. I don't want to have to work for. For love. From my standpoint, I don't want to work for a man that's doing whatever he wants, and then I'm just sitting there until he done playing around, and then comes to me. I don't want that. And I. I just wish I had that superpower that a lot of other races. I just said white women, because that's my experience. I've seen that. But a lot of other races have that same superpower, and it's not really a superpower, but you guys know what I mean. We. I grew up in a small Southern town that's like, hard love is okay, get them in, keep them, blah, blah, blah, have the babies, whatever, get married early, all of that. That's where I grew up. And I just do not want to do that no more. That's just not for me. And I've been giving men too much space to figure it out. Because it's not like a man will say to me, hey, I don't like you. And then I keep talking to him. That's not what I'm talking about. But little actions that they'll do will show me that they don't really know what they want. And I'm like, okay, well, I need you to tell me what you want. I don't need to wait for you to tell me what you want. I really don't. If you don't know what you want, I'm not the one for you. Because we know, for example, and this is, you know, not as important, but you know what you want for dinner when you got two options in front of you, there is one thing that you want more than the other. And you gonna pick that thing. You gonna make a decision because you gotta eat right now. While that is definitely a frivolous example, the fact of the matter is, if you are like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not the one for you. And maybe because I'm a hopeless romantic, maybe I could be that person somewhere down the line. But Right now, I am not the person for you. And that is okay. Stop wasting my time, Tyra. Stop wasting my time. Right? Because I. This man is only wasting my time because I allow him to waste my time. And I'm just frustrated with that. And then on the the opposite side of this with friendships, I have always been a pretty stable friend and I really want to do a episode where we talk about friendships a little more. But I've always been a pretty stable friend and I've always been a very low maintenance friend. I have never been the type of friend to be upset because you didn't show up for me. You didn't do X, Y and Z. Because I believe everybody got their own life going on. I also do not live a regular life. I'm out in LA. I'm an actress. I don't have a 9 to 5. I live a creator lifestyle. I get it. A lot of my friends are married, live in other parts of the country, all of the things, right. So I always give my friends the benefit of the doubt. And in the past few years, there have been some situations where some of my friends have presented themselves as high maintenance friends. And that alone has frustrated me. I have also been a more stable friend. So friends who are less stable have come to me time after time to be their savior. And they obviously won't say, hey, I need you to save me, but they bring their problems to me. And I'm a problem solver, I'm a fixer, I am a sa. I'm a stable friend. And if I can help, I try to help. But I'm in a space in my life where I don't have the capacity to do that. And that is okay. And I think I just can't be the one that's constantly showing up for high maintenance friends. And that can look a lot of different ways for different people. High maintenance can be different things. One of the biggest things that I want people to realize is that everybody got something going on. Just because I can't make it to your birthday don't mean I don't care about you. Because one thing that I will say, and I'ma leave this at this, because we're not about to have this conversation today. One thing that I will say is, y'all be doing too much for your birthday. Yeah. Yeah, I said it. Yeah, I'll be doing too much. You want all of us to go on a birthday trip with you for your birthday. Nine times out of ten, your friend group is around the same age. For example, for me when I turn 30, a bunch of my friends turn 30 that year. I can't go on everybody's birthday trip. And if you can't understand that, that's the issue internal issue that you have. But in a general sense, I just can't be a savior friend. I'm really going to keep it at that. But again, what I mean by putting myself on do not disturb is or enter my do not disturb era is in these relationship situations I have to put my time and my piece first and I need to move with intention. I need to be intentional about where I'm spending my time. If I do decide to go on a birthday trip, let's say three of my best friends having birthday trips, I need to make sure that I am communicating with them up front. Hey, I might not be able to do this, but this is what I can do. Hey, I'm going to be able to come on your trip, but this is what I cannot do. This is whatever the case may be, communication is very important there. But yeah, I I'm tired of wasting my time with these men and I am releasing the responsibility of being the savior friend or always being there for the high maintenance friend in my life. Especially when I'm not high maintenance myself.
- [20:14]
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- [20:41]
Sponsor Announcer
This podcast is sponsored by Ramp. Look, there's feelings and then there's the facts. If you're feeling like your finance team is bogged down in mundane manual tasks, the fact is you need Ramp. Ramp is the corporate card that makes the expense process fast and easy. The moment your team makes a purchase, Ramp handles everything receipt, collection and approvals the works. With Ramp, you can cut your month end close from five days to one, customize approval workflows and get complete control over every transaction. Facts Over 25,000 businesses trust Ramp, including Shopify and the Boys and Girls Club of America, which is why they were just named number one in spend management by G2. Facts start using ramp and you'll have more time to spend scaling your business and that'll feel really good. Upgrade to Ramp for free today and get $250 at ramp.com that's ramp.com r a m p.com currents issued by Sutton bank members. FDIC terms and conditions apply.
- [21:41]
Tyra
When was the last time you really.
- [21:43]
Hormone Harmony Announcer
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- [22:26]
Tyra
I'll be honest with y'all.
- [22:27]
Hormone Harmony Announcer
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- [22:36]
Tyra
We can feel when we support our.
- [22:38]
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Tyra
It can help you feel more in.
- [22:44]
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- [23:25]
Tyra
I have spent way too much time and energy saying yes to projects just because of the money. I have said yes to projects way too often just because I didn't have anything better to do. And I'm tired of that. If it does not align with my creative vision or what I want for my life, I don't want to do it anymore. And I really hope I can live in that as much as I can, because money is obviously important. Y'all live I live in Los Angeles. I will not be able to be a hundred percent enthralled in every single project I do. But if I can find a silver lining in a project or if it doesn't bring me joy at all, I don't need to be spending my time doing it no matter what price tag is attached to it. If it's not, if it's not fulfilling. It's a no. And I need to learn how to live in that, because money is not enough anymore. I was literally at a brunch today with a friend who is also a chef, and one of her friends was also at this brunch, and we were just talking about how, especially when you're a chef, it takes so much work for little return. Food costs are going up. It costs a lot to book spaces. You have to spend time and labor making the food, and then on top of that, you want to actually get paid to be doing this stuff. But it takes hours on top of hours for your work, and the. The market just isn't there. People don't really see the value in a dope chef, honestly. And we were just all talking about how everybody is feeling the pressure, or a lot of us are feeling the pressure. As chefs, as creatives, as. As doers who do things with their hands, as makers, we're all feeling the pressure to show up and do the thing and hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle, go to sleep and do it all over again. And it's very tiring, and it's very lonely. And for me, if it's not fulfilling and if I'm not getting enough return on it, like, if I'm beating my body up for something and I'm not even making ends meet with that, I can't do it. We live in a society now where things are so expensive and housing is so expensive, food is. Groceries are so expensive. And it's very hard to live a lifestyle where you can be a chef full time by yourself. Right? Because I'm talking from a creator lens, from an entrepreneurial lens, a solopreneurship lens, and it's very hard to do. Hustle culture will have you thinking that exhaustion is an accomplishment. And I am sick and tired of that, because I fall to that too. And sometimes it's not just because of the money. It's because I actually love what I do. And since I love what I do, I end up saying yes to way too many projects. And then at the end of the month or the quarter, whatever, I got five projects due, and I'm like, dang, I should have never said yes to this in the first place. And then I got to get it all done, and then I'm exhausted, and then I'm burnt out, and then I need weeks and weeks and weeks to recover, and then I do it to myself all over again, because I'm like, oh, this is interesting. And I can do this. Oh, this is paying me how much? Okay, I need to do that because I need to pay my rent. It's just a cycle that I really want to remove myself from. So I want to enable my do not disturb button in my creative career because I need to move with intention. If it does not match the vision I have for my life, it's a no. If it's not fulfilling, it is a no. Hustle culture is not for me. It's honestly not for any of us. And we live in a world where everybody wants instant gratification. We're seeing all of this stuff on social media, and we feel like we have to do all the things. Things at all times, and that's just not true. We do not have to do all the things at all times. And I'm tired of running myself ragged because all of that has been just. I've been inundated with all of that information over and over again. And now I'm like, okay, Tyra, let's reel it back in. What does Tyra want? What can Tyra do? But then you have that other side of it where you do have to pay your rent, y'all. I live alone in Los Angeles. Granted, I can go home. I can live in my mama house. I'm 30 years old. I don't want to live in my mama house. But if I had to, I know that I could. But I'm also 30 years old, and I want to be able to live the life that I want to. And, of course, there's all types of things that go with that. Making sure that I'm not living above my means and. And all of that. And I keep a good handle on that. But in a general sense, everything is expensive now, and it's very frustrating, and it makes you feel like you need to have six jobs. It makes you feel like you have to say yes to a project because you don't know where the next opportunity will come from, because everybody is doing the things that you're doing now. There's so many people doing the same thing now, or that's how it feels. But I'm here to say. And this is what I say to myself all the time, especially when I get into a situation like that where I'm like, dang, I'm saying yes to all of this stuff. I don't know where I'm going, but, God, I need the money. Your path is for you. What. What has your name on it is for you. What God has made for you is for you. And nobody can take it away from you. And you have to live in that, because if you don't, you'll drive yourself crazy. You'll drive yourself completely insane. So for me, the answer is no. Unless it aligns with my purpose, it brings me joy in some way, or it truly benefits me. And the only benefit cannot be money. I'm past that at this point in my life. And I'm also grateful that I can say that at this point in my life. But the only benefit cannot be money. It can't. I'm too old to be wasting my time on projects that doesn't. That don't serve me. I cannot keep doing that because that alone drains me. And if it drains me, it is not for me. I want to create with purpose. And that's one of the biggest reasons why I launched Tyra's Table. Tyra's Table is all about bringing my community and my love for food together and fellowshipping with one another, with a theme, with a story, something. Just having an overall dope experience. And that in itself stems from the. The fact that. That I'm a content creator living in Los Angeles. I'm also an actress who is trying to grow her acting career. And my acting career is pretty still right now. I'm not getting auditions, all this stuff. And that's another reason why I'm so frustrated right now. Because I feel like I'm doing the things and the things are just not going as planned right now. But I know I serve a great God. I know I serve an omnipotent God. I know that there is more for me. I'm just in a space where I'm pretty frustrated and I need to take a step back because I don't want to succumb to that frustration, to those heavy feelings, right? Because I have to feel the feels. But I got to keep it pushing because I know I serve a great God, right? So that's why I started Tyra's Table. Because I was lonely. I needed human connection. Outside of my gym, outside of just going to my pottery studio, I wanted to just have an all around good laugh or just sit and chill and eat good food. Like food really makes the world go round. Food brings people together. And that's why Tyra's Table is so important to me. So I had 20 people over here and we just ate a pot of gumbo and we laughed and we just hugged like it was just amazing. And I really need to do more like that because that fills my cup. And I also live far away from home. So a Lot of us have family that we can go and see on a daily, weekly, whatever type of basis. And you have that time where you can just sit and not be on. I need to find that out here in la and I'm doing that with my friends. Like, at my party, I didn't feel like I had to be on. I was just serving food and we was just eating and I love that and I need that. And a lot of times we don't think about that when we're close to family. We just like, oh, I'm going to my grandma house. And that's just that we don't think about just how much that is pouring into our cup or just how much that human interaction action is really filling us up and filling a void that might otherwise be there. The last point I want to hit about my Do Not Disturb era is that I have been neglecting my mental health a little bit. And I can feel it. I can feel it mentally, emotionally, and I can feel it spiritually. And I want to hit Do Not Disturb on that. I want to find the quiet moments again to check in with Tyra and really see what I need, check my inventory. Do I need more time with God? Do I need more physical exercise? Like, what do I need? I really want to focus on that a little bit more. I haven't been consistent with my. I've told you guys about calm so many times. I normally listen to a bedtime story. I also do the meditations. There's morning walks and there's all types of stuff on there. And I haven't really been doing it. I really, really want to dive back into that. There's also apps like Headspace. I just got this one app called Ahead, where it's basically, it says that it's like Duolingo but for your mental health. And that one has been pretty dope because it actually teaches you different things and it has quizzes and stuff. So if you're into that kind of stuff, it's called Head App. You can go and check it out. I don't feel as centered as I should, and I think that's also where some of the frustration is coming from. I'd have all the tools, right? But I think all of this stuff that we've been talking about has been working in tandem to pile on me, and I have not done the work to filter through, right? So I do journal. I do have the Calm app. I do have a meditation routine. I do have a workout routine. But sometimes it just doesn't get done because I've said yes to 5011 projects and my time is all taken up with that. And then I'm dog tired by the end of the day and I don't feel like doing X, Y, Z. I don't feel like spending time with God and just, just to keep it a buck, I'm tired. And that is why I cannot continue to do all of the things I only should be doing things that truly fulfill me. That's really where I should live. Slowing down and being intentional with my self care and creating space for stillness isn't a luxury, it is a necessity. And it always has been. And I'm continually finding more importance in that necessity and in that stillness. Every single day I'm working on getting back into my routines and flexing them to fit my lifestyle, transforming them to fit my current needs without guilt. Because sometimes when we build a routine, we're like, oh shoot, I didn't eat breakfast at 6am Dang, get it together, Tyra. I want to live a flexible life. I want to build habits over routines, right? I want to build habits that slowly turn into a routine. So when people say, what are your routines? I'm saying, well, this is what I habitually do and it just happens to be a routine. So I would rather think about building habits than, okay, my routine gonna be 6:00am, eat 6:30, we in the gym, 7:00, we don't, we work. I don't want it to be that because it gives this, this military hardcore thing. And when I slip and fall or when I need to change something up, I'm the type of person who I subconsciously beat up. Now that's not a good thing. But the, the, the reason that that happens for me is because one, I'm a very type a person. If I have a to do list and I say I want to get something done and it doesn't get done. It's not necessarily that I'm like bad Tyrone. It's like, dang, I missed the mark and I don't want to continue to do that to myself. But if I make a habit and I'm like, okay, well my habit is I like to wake up in the morning and go work out. Whether I go at 7:00, 9:00, I still hit that workout and I can still give myself praise. You have to do what works for you. Now if you're the type of person who needs that hardcore set time, do that. I'm not that type of person at this time in my life. So I need to make it work for who I am right now at this point in my life, because I say all of this to say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your mental health is not and has never been selfish. It is the biggest necessity we have. Something that I recently realized is that you are constantly evolving and so is your life. And with that, so are your boundaries, so are your routines, so are your priorities, so are your needs. And we need to walk in that versus trying to keep ourselves fit into this cookie color mold that we made back in 2016. Because for me, 2025 Tyra is not 2016 Tyra. 2025 Tyra is not 2024 tyranny. We're growing and we're evolving. We're transforming, and life is meant to be flexible. So I have a friend, her name is. I'm not gonna say her name. Anyways, I have a friend, and she has been organizing my apartment, and she's done the kitchen, she did my tech closet, my bathroom, my. My clothes closet. She's done a lot of stuff, and we about to start on my storage unit. And when she came over here, she was over here a couple of days ago, and I was just like, oh, my God, I feel like you just organized my kitchen and now I need some stuff to change. And she made a comment that was something along the lines of, yep, as soon as you find a place for everything to go, or as soon as you have everything organized, you need to switch it up again to match your current needs in life. Because life is always changing. And I was like, you are so right. Life is always changing. And I should not be like, dang, I thought I had it perfect. Just because we did one organization task in a room, or we said, this will go here, this will go there. We're always purging stuff. We're always taking on new things. We're always buying stuff. We're always inheriting stuff from our family. We're making things. I think it's very important that we remind ourselves that life is fluid. And I. I said all of that because, yes, I'm talking about things, right? Like material things that actually go into my house. But you should apply that to your life as well. When you think about these routines, they're just a guide to keep you on track to meet the. The. The goals that you've set for yourself. It's not something that a box that you just need to. Needs a check and that's it. And you need to keep it just like that and stay so hardcore. It's a formula. It is a guide. It's something to help get you from point A to point B. And if you need, if it needs to change, then it just needs to change. And that's how I choose to look at it. But like I said, it applies to life too. And we're all changing and that's okay. And I cannot continue to beat myself up for falling out of my routine. So this is me. This whole episode has been just my thoughts about reorganizing my life to fit the woman that I am today and the woman that I will be tomorrow because we don't know about the next day. But I'm reorganizing my life because there are some areas where I need to put it in, do not disturb and only let in the notifications that need to come through at the moment to really quiet the things that do not deserve priority in my life right now and really focus on the intentions that I want to set and the things that Tyra wants out of life and the things that do not drain me, the things that fill my cup up. I really want to get rid of the draining things because things that drain me are not for me. And like we said, there is a difference between something that has drained me and something that's just required a lot of energy. And we all know what those energy suckers are. And those, those, those time drainers are the things that are just like junk food for life. We know what those things are. And like I said, our theme for the month is loving on you. And I think entering my do not disturb era in this way, in my relationships, in my creative career, and in my mental health is me loving on me. It's me practicing self love in a new way. Because loving myself means knowing when to. To step back. If I'm only if I'm the only one that's making effort in any place in my life, that thing is not for me. That goes for my career too. If I'm in a space where the people that I'm working with are not, they're undervaluing me or they're not taking me seriously, this place is not for me. It is not set up for me to succeed. I might, I might have already gotten what I needed out of this place in my life because I do believe that we are put into positions for a reason. But I might have already gotten that. And it may be a situation where God is increasing that discomfort because it's time for me to move. It's just like if a baby chicken is Coming out of the egg, it grew too big for that shell, and it's time for it to move. And that's really how I like to look at things versus oh, well, they ain't like me. That's just. Ain't that. I'm just fall back. I don't like the way. I don't like looking at stuff that way. Because there's always a blessing and a lesson in everything that we do. And this do not disturb era is not about cutting people off or cutting things out of your life. It's about recognizing who. Who and what respects your boundaries and who benefits from any lack of those boundaries. So stepping into your DND era isn't about blocking people out. It's about being intentional with your time, with your energy and your peace. And that's going to look different for each and every one of us, and you deserve that. Oh, y'all, you know what time it is? It is time for our fun closing segment. And I'm super excited about today's closing segment because we're playing a new game. Well, it's not really a game, but this is a new segment called Pop the bottle of Champagne. I'll be saying champagne. I'm talking about champagne, y'all. Pop the bottle of champagne. And it is all about celebrating milestones that I have hit, and you can also take part in this. If you bought the New Year Define Me workbook, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. One of the activities that we did for the workbook was, was taking some of our goals, and we wrote them on a bottle of champagne or whatever you want to do. I decided to write mine on a bottle of champagne. So I have the lamarca Rose Prosecco. If you're watching, then you can see my beautiful little bottle. I have, like, six goals, big goals that I want to hit this year. So the first one has already been done. It says launch Tyra's Table. And I just told you guys that I did, in fact, have have my launch party last week. So it's time to pop this bottle, and I'm gonna do that with y'all. I thought it would be perfect to do it with y'all here on the podcast. So let's pop. Didn't do a little pop because it was a little twist stop because it's a little bottle, but cheers, y'all. I'm so excited to have launched Tyra's Table. Now, if you wanted to do this, you obviously do not have to use champagne. You can use a non al champagne. If you like some apple cider, any of the things. Right. But I'm so excited about Tire Stable and I've kind of touched on it a little bit already. But y'all, I was so nervous about Tyra's Table being launched, and it was just because I haven't served that many people in a very long time. I don't think I've done that since I lived in Jersey, honestly, like seven years ago. But again, I'm just so filled with joy. And this is your sign. If you want to do something that seems big or seems scary, give it a try because your friends will show up and show out for you. And I've just been receiving so many nice notes and things from friends about the launch, and I'm already excited for the next one. So in a general sense, if you're like, girl, what is Tyra Stable? So Tyra's Table is actually my foodie brand as a whole. That's it. So if you. I have an Instagram Tyra's dot table on Instagram, so it's T, Y R A S dot table T A B L, E. And that's where I post all my foodie content. I also posted on Tyler Creative because that page only has like a thousand followers. But I want it, like I said earlier, I want to bring it in real life. So Tyrus Table first started when I first moved out to California and I wanted to have little dinners with friends. I wanted to have three course dinners. And at the time I was vegan, so I was like, that was my whole thing. I was like, oh, well, I'll introduce people to veganism because I'm vegan and I know I can make some good vegan food. I lived in a small space, so I only did dinners of dinner parties of four. And that's how it was born. I remember I had my friend Janae and Raven over and I was like, what am I going to call this? And one of them, I don't even remember which one said, tyra Stable, we at the table. Okay. And that has stuck since then, and now it's just become all of my content. It's become a food blog. Like, I'm just so excited for where it's going. Food has always been a huge part of my life and a huge part of my creative journey, and I just want to live in that. But with that, I want to do in person things. I'm tired of being a lonely content creator. I always say this now, like, I'm like, this is lonely, like, right Now I'm sitting in my apartment talking to a camera. Like, I love talking to y'all, but I'm like, I need some human interaction. I need to fellowship. So that's what this is all about. I'm having my next one in April, and it's going to be a little pop up coffee shop in my apartment. So it's always going to be something a little different. Because that's the whole reason why I never wanted to work in a, like, a commercial kitchen. Because I don't want to make the same thing every single day, day in and day out. I was the head pastry chef at a place called Black Bottom Southern Kitchen, and I liked it, but I didn't love the idea of me going in every day and making the same thing. It got old. I'm not that type of chef. I don't want to be doing that. But with that being said, one of the things that I loved the most about my dinner party was that I used a lot of my pottery, y'all. So I'm glad that I'm doing, like, a video episode, because I can finally show y'all some of my pottery. So if you're listening, I'm sorry, go and watch it. It's on the YouTube channel. But the people who are watching, let me show y'all some of my pottery. Okay, so this is where I keep most of my pottery, the pieces that can fit. And I'm going to show you some of the pieces that I actually use for the dinner party. So I use these two super cute egg holders. I put my crawfish deviled eggs in them. I made these by hand at my pottery studio. Here are two of my favorite bowls. I actually made these in my first class at my studio, and I use these bowls all the time. They are so cute. This one right here is definitely my favorite. It has the texture on the side, and it's made with a sandy clay, and I just put a clear glaze on top. And these, y'all, they absolutely stole the show. These are my toast plates, and I just use these to put the, like, the tongs and stuff on for each of the dishes. But look how cute they are. They literally look like toast. Oh, my gosh. They are so cute. I have the little crust on the outside, and I have four of them. Okay. There's one more set that I want to show y'all. These are, like my. I. These are the pieces that I'm most proud of to date. Okay. I made two super cute lemon bowls. First of all, look at these bowls. These bowls are so adorable. I made them and then I hand drew all of these little lemons that are on the inside. Look how cute. Oh, my gosh. I hand drew them all, y'all, and I just covered them in clear glaze. This is a porcelain clay, and I just love them. So for the party, I ended up having lemons just sitting in them, looking cute. And I just love the homemade aspects of things, and I've talked about that in the past. I love doing pottery. I love doing things with my hands. Cooking is doing things with my hands. So that's really how I show love through acts of service and gift giving and just showing people that they can come and have a seat at my table and always have a meal and we can have a good time. With that being said, y'all, my heart is so full. Thank y'all for allowing me to just sit here and chat about the things that I'm frustrated about in life right now. And, you know, I know that trouble don't last always, and I know that I serve an amazing God, and I know that there are things coming for me in my life, but I do realize that there are some things that need I need to hit do not disturb on. There are some things that are not worth my immediate attention right now, and some pivots need to happen, some falling back needs to happen, and I need to move with a little more intention in certain areas of my life to really get to where I'm trying to go. I'm 30 years old and I'm tired of playing. I'm tired of playing with these little boys. I'm tired of playing with these brands, these companies that ain't trying to pay me. I'm tired of playing with my mental health because my mental health is all I got. Our mental health is all we got if we really want to keep a spade, a spade. So with that being said, thank you guys so much for listening. I will see you guys Wednesday, I think, for a pep Talk Wednesday episode. And until then, this is affirmations for black girls. And I'm so glad that you guys listen to the end. Make sure that you rate the podcast. Please, please, please leave us a review. They help so much with the podcast. And if you're not already subscribed to the YouTube channel, make sure you hit that big red subscribe button down below. And we also have a newsletter. The newsletter is always linked in the show notes. Join our newsletter, please. We'll be having a lot of fun over there. And we also have a book club. This month's read was the KISS Countdown, a great book about this cute astronaut who falls in love with this girl who is an event planner. Anyways, it's a really, really good fiction book and I loved every second of it. So we're reading that right now and we'll have a new book every single month. So if you're into book books, please join our book book club because we have a lot of fun over there too. I'm trying to make sure that I am hitting a lot of different areas of our community and doing things that you guys can be involved in. So with that being said, once again, thank you guys so much for listening. I love you all. Thank you for being here and I'll see you again on Wednesday for a pep talk Wednesday episode. This is affirmations for Black Girls. Poison is getting beautiful.
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