← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
412 | You Deserve to Feel at Home. Why Your Space Deserves More Intention. The Emotional Power of Decorating for Joy, Peace, Warmth and Presence.
00:22:24
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- [00:01]
Tyra
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One of the biggest compliments I've gotten recently was actually at an event that I had this past weekend and just about everyone that walked in for the first time into my space complimented me and said just how homey, warm and inviting my space felt. And I took immense pride in that. Few things are as powerful what's up everyone? Welcome back to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast. Today we have another Pep Talk Wednesday episode. I am your host, Tyra the creative, your virtual cheerleader for the day, giving you the midweek pick me up that you have been craving. I am just elated. If you guys listen to this week's full length episode on Monday, then you already know that I have just been high on life recently because I had an event that literally, y'all, it just fed my soul in ways that I have not been fed in a while. So I really wanted to talk about one thing that kept coming up over and over and over again. People kept telling me how homey and put together my space was and I said if I'm going to talk about this on a podcast, then I need to make sure that it is a video episode to show y'all at least a piece of my space. So if you're listening to the podcast, you can keep on listening. But I do want to let you know that it is a video episode so you can go over to our YouTube channel and listen. But if you guys are already on YouTube. Hello. I'm glad to see y'all. This is my space. This is like my kitchen slash living room area. It's very open concept, but I am so excited with all of the work that I have put into this space. I've been living in this apartment for three and a half years almost. Well, my lease is about to be up in a couple months and I'm gonna renew again, but I think this will be the last time I renew it. But the biggest thing here is that this is the first space. Well, it's the second space, but it's the first space that I said I would decorate Fully to my heart's desire. So we're gonna unpack all of this and I'm super excited. So if y'all ready to get started. I am ready. Okay. In my last apartment, one of the things that I said I wanted to do was, and I didn't have the language for it as in terms of how I really wanted it to be, but I said. Said that when I walked into my studio apartment that I used to live in, y'all, it was like a 700 foot square foot studio apartment in Koreatown. And I really wanted to make that space feel creative. I wanted it to inspire me. I wanted it to feel like home. I wanted to. Wanted to feel like something other than four white walls, because that's literally what it was. It was a studio. So I said to myself, what can I do to this space with the resources that I have? Because at the time, I didn't really have a lot of money at the time. What can I do in this space to make sure that I am pouring into it in a way where it can pour into me when I need to be poured into. Right. So I threw some paint on the wall. I did like this super cute mural on one of my walls. I also put up some wallpaper. I redecorated the kitchen. I made sure that I had a. It didn't. This apartment didn't come with a refrigerator or a microwave. So I made sure that I had a cute microwave and all of the things. And I was just like, if I'm going to be living in this space and I'm out here in la, I want my space to fill me up. I want it to fill my cup. So once I did that, I was able to work more in my space. You guys know I'm a content creator. I was able to be more creative and it lifted my spirits. I really think decorating your home helps to shift your mindset, and it just helps you feel more rooted and not like you're passing through that space. I knew that I was there for a short time or a good time, not a long time in that studio apartment. But that didn't mean that I couldn't make it my own. And I think for the longest time, I have struggled with the fact that I'm renting. And since I'm renting, you know, they have all of those rules. I was like, okay, well, I'mma just leave the walls blank. No, baby, I'm not doing that no more. And that's why I started to really get into my DIY bag. And when I did that, like putting paint on the walls, I did a lot of stuff. I did removable wallpaper. I changed out the ceiling fan up in there. When I started to do that, I realized that for me. And it could be different for you. But joy lives in the details for me. From the lighting, from changing out those ceiling fan fans or what blades. Ceiling fan blades. To making that super cute paint splatter, it just filled me with so much joy. And I really think that's where the bug came from for this space. So if we fast forward to this apartment that I'm living in now, the first place that I started was my balcony, because I was like, my balcony has to be the spot. Okay? I want it to be an oasis. When I go out there, I don't want to have no worries. I want to be able to relax. I really curated my space to fit me, and I had never done that before. And I really think that I wanted to do that because overall, I needed to start feeling like I was at home. I had been out in la by the time I moved into this apartment, I had been out in LA for almost three years. Yeah, almost three years or three years. I had been out in LA for three years at the time, and now I've been out here for seven years. So, yeah, that makes sense. Three and a half years at the time. So I was like, yeah, I really need somewhere to feel like home because I just felt like I had been uprooted for so long. And now that I think about it, we've talked about this on the podcast so many times. Me trying to find community and me putting down roots, y'all, that starts right at the place where you lay your head every single day. I really believe that a, well, a well decorated space impacts your energy. And when the space feels like you, you're at ease, you're able to have more peace. You're able to really thrive in the. In the energy and spaces that you want to be in. And for me, that's in my creativity. I have. I'm in a creative field. So if I'm in a space that is drawing all of that energy out of me, like I'm on these four. I got these four white walls. I don't have nothing up. I don't have anything that's here to inspire me. I'm not really going to be able to be creative. Or maybe I can still be creative, but it's going to take a little bit extra time to do so. So I know that my environment impacts my energy. And even though I didn't say when I moved into this apartment o to make sure that everything is taken care of before a certain time, I said I was going to do it as my heart saw fit. And I have. And now my space is my oasis. People always say when they walk into my apartment, oh, this feels like you. I can tell that Tyra lives here. And for me that is just. That's just the biggest compliment. Okay, I'm nosy. 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- [11:47]
Unknown
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- [12:09]
Tyra
I think there are a lot of emotional and mental benefits of having a thoughtful and curated space that works for you. And I know that a lot of people don't live alone. I know people have families and all of this type of stuff, but these same everything that I'm saying now can Apply to even just a corner, a piece of your home. Right. I really think that less clutter equals more clarity. I am. I like to say that I like organized chaos. Right? Even though I'm a maximalist, as you guys can kind of tell a little bit. You can only see a little bit of my. My house now. But as you can kind of tell, I'm a maximalist, I'm not a minimalist. I like to have things in my house that are quirky, things that fit me, all of that. And also, y'all, this on my wall right here, this is the menu from my coffee shop. I haven't taken it down yet. It was just so cute right there. And I also painted this door. Great. As you can see, this door is like a very light, kind of cool, gray tone. And I love it, love it, love.
- [13:12]
Unknown
It, love it, love it.
- [13:12]
Tyra
It's so freaking cute. But I. I can always tell when my space is a little too cluttered. And as a maximalist, sometimes that's a little hard. You know what I'm saying? Like, sometimes I feel like I can get into a mode where I'm buying a lot of stuff or I'm changing a lot of stuff out from, like, season to season, or maybe I just found something else that I liked, whatever. And I want to put it into my space. If I leave too much stuff all over the place, my mind is not clear. And it can be visual clutter. It can also be both visually and mentally. Less clutter can create order and make room for the calmness in your space. Like I said about my balcony, like, it's my oasis when that thing is cluttered because I. I did just clean it off. I'm not gonna lie. I did just clean it off in my coffee shop. Having that space clean and clear. Oh, my gosh. I just ran around screaming in my apartment because I was like, this space now is just so great out there. I. I wish I. Y'all. An apartment tour is what I need to do. But what I. When I was looking out there, I'm looking out there right now. I have, like, this twers egg chair out there. I have a little fire pit. I have all my plants. I have a balcony bar. And for my party, I was frying beignet on the balcony, and I have string lights. Everybody who walked out there was just like this. Now this is amazing. I love the way your mind works. And I'm like, the only reason I'm able to live in that creativity is because I am making an effort to Have a space that promotes my creativity, to spread my creativity, to be flexed, my creative brain to be flexed in that way. And I'm just. I'm so glad that I have gotten out of a mindset that my space, since it's a rental and since it's not mine, is not mine because I'm paying for it to be mine at this moment, even though it may not be mine in 10 years, it's mine now. So what can I do right now to make this space truly, truly feel like me? In college and in my first apartment in New Jersey, I didn't put anything on the walls. And I wonder why. I was sad all the time, right? Whenever I was doing all the things that I liked, I'm like, what is that sadness that's down there? What is that little bit of something? Because it's not mighty. I won't. I won't lie, it's not mighty, but it's still there. And I can feel, feel it. It was because my house was white. There was nothing around. No things that I love, no gallery wall full of pictures of my family since I don't see them often. Like, I. It's so important to make sure that you are having that space to look the way you want. And also having things in your home that you can create rituals around that get you excited for the next day. Like, even making a coffee or reading feels different in a space that support supports your joy and supports those hobbies and those things that you love. In my room, y'all, I got my Legos on display, baby. When I pass by, when people look at them like, oh my gosh, your Legos. And I'm like, I need to do another Lego set. Okay? They need a friend. And I really have like six or seven Lego sets that I need to do right now. But I think it's so important and it has such a huge impact on your emotional well being when you decorate your space. And I think a well loved space is also very grounding for us. It brings a sense of safety, stability and belonging. Even if you, you know, live alone or you're living in an apartment, you have a space that you belong. Have you ever been outside, outside, like at somebody's function or something and just been like, dang, I can't wait to go home and relax. That I never had that true feeling of relaxation, that true feeling of decompression when I lived in my apartment in New Jersey or when I lived in my very first apartment out here with a guy that I was in A relationship with. I'll talk about that for a quick second. We actually brought him up in Monday's episode. But when we lived together, first of all, I was paying all of the rent. He started paying me back, and that was a whole thing. He started paying me back, like, six months into us living together. His name wasn't on the lease because it. He couldn't pass the. The thing to get on there and all of this stuff, right? So I said, we need a place to stay. I can afford it. Pay me back. So throughout all of that, I realized that everyone doesn't have the same mindset about a rental that you do. But for me, it was more so okay. Mentally, I cannot be in no plain apartment. And for him, he was like, well, it's a rental. Why are we buying all of this stuff? Stuff? So if you do live with someone or you share a space or whatever the case may be, and they have that mindset or you have that mindset, it's time to check in. Because at the end of the day, you have to make the space yours. And that doesn't always look like spending a lot of money. We didn't have a lot of money back then. This boy, and we fought about this all the time, but he would find stuff on the street. Some of the stuff, not going to lie, was great, but other of the things, I was like, please leave that outside. Stop playing with me. But people are always getting rid of furniture. Facebook Market has been a godsend for me, y'all. I get so much stuff on Facebook Market, Facebook, Marketplace, okay? And I know I live in la and it may be a surplus of good things there, but I get so many gems from Facebook Market, and I absolutely freaking love it. So no matter what your price point or your budget is, you can find things that work for your space. And I'm not even necessarily saying fill your space with stuff, fill your space with things that make you happy, or decorate your space in a way that makes you happy. If that is white walls so that your mind can stay clear because you may have a chaotic job and you just want to see beige, minimalistic things, then that is okay. All I'm saying is make your house feel like a home, because a house and a home are two different things. And I know we all know that once upon a time, I was feeling like I was on top of my finances. Bills paid, budget, set, everything looking good. But then life, you know, started. Life in a financial journey is rarely ever linear. And sometimes the old me would have just taken an Overdraft hit okay, shed a little tear and kept it pushing. But now I've learned to plan ahead for those sneaky charges. I set reminders, I try to keep a little cushion in my account, and I make sure I'm not out here letting random transactions throw off my whole flow. Because who has time for unnecessary fees? Sometimes I think getting my finances together means making huge sacrifices, like giving up certain hobbies that genuinely bring me joy. 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- [21:01]
Unknown
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- [21:13]
Tyra
Foreign okay, so I have a challenge for you guys. You guys know Pep Talk Wednesdays come with a challenge. My challenge for the week is for you to pick one corner of your home and make it yours. I want y'all to take that and run with it, okay? Whether it's a cozy chair, a candle shelf, a kitchen counter, decorate it intentionally. And again, when I say decorate, it doesn't necessarily mean go out and spend money on some stuff. It may mean, oh, I got these pictures of me and my friends. Let me tape them on this wall. Or oh, I found this vase outside on the street because, you know, people leave stuff outside whenever they want to get rid of it, too. You may not be in an area where that happens, but it happens a lot here in la. Oh, I found this vase. Or I went to Goodwill and I found this vase. Let me clean it up, let me paint it, let me put it on my kitchen counter just so I have something fun to look at. And Also something that I made myself that I can say, oh, wow. Or when people come over, they can say, oh, wow, did you make this? And it's a whole conversation starter. Take a place. Take a piece of your home and make it yours. You can add beauty, add comfort, or a piece of you. And then I want you guys. Now, I'll never tell you how to do this, but since you're taking a piece of your home, and I didn't open up my home to y'all and shown y'all a piece of my home, take a picture of it, post it on Instagram, and tag us at Affirmations for Black Girls and be like, look, Tyra, I did the pep talk Wednesday challenge, and then we're going to repost it. Okay, I'm ready to see this little piece of y'all house. It could be anywhere. I actually have a piece of my house that I am going to focus on this month. This month, this week. So in my kitchen, I have this white space above my cabinets, and I got some wallpaper made for it, and I'm going to put that wallpaper up and then decide if I want to put any type of photos or anything on top of there. So that's the little space that I'm making mine, and I'll go ahead and tell y'all. So the wallpaper features handwritten recipes from my family. As I said, y'all, I am away from home. I've been living away from home for, like, 10 years now. I have to find pieces of my roots to bring here, and that's what works for me. I go to Goodwill a lot. Like I said, there are so many things you can do no matter your budget. Now, the only problem is if you have champagne budget, but you can only afford apple juice from the stove, you need to check in with that. But you can decorate your space and make it more homey and make it an oasis no matter what your budget is. But keep in mind that you don't need to go out and just buy the stuff that everybody else got in the house. I know you may be like, dang, Well, I don't know how to decorate, baby, take it slow. Get things that you like. I have these pillows. Look at these pillows, y'all. I have a freaking croissant pillow, and I also have this tomato pillow, and I have a lot more. I have a lot more of these pillows all over my sofa. I would say that I have bought all of these pillows over the course of a year, and I only have 1, 2, 3 4, 5. I only have 6. I only have 6 of them because I wanted the ones that I wanted and I didn't want the stuff that I didn't. I didn't want to just, you know, try to fill the space. I'm being intentional about everything that I'm doing for my wallpaper in my kitchen. I got my family members to write these recipes and then I took time to figure out the perfect place to get this stuff printed on wallpaper. And I've been doing that project since my 29th birthday because that's when my nanny sent her recipes with my mama. That's the only reason. I know that I have been working on that, that for a long time. My. Your space is continually evolving. You are continually evolving. I always find things that I like and then things that I'm like, okay, why? Why? I got this steel. Let me go ahead and get rid of it. Cuz you're getting older, you're maturing, you are transforming, and your space can transform with you. So like I said, pick one spot in your house. It could be a chair, it could be a wall, it could be a room. One spot in that house and make it yours this week. I'm not saying spend no money, but take things from other parts of the house. Really get it the way that you want it to be so you can be joyful in that space and then snap a picture, post it to Instagram, tag us at Affirmation Black Girls. And let me see it. As you can see, my bar area here, y'all, this bar area. I've been working on this bar area for a long time. It's so cute. It has all of my. It's a little dirty up there right now because I had a party, but. Or not dirty. Let me say clutter. It's not dirty. I have pictures. I have all my favorite glassware. I have a few bottles on there. And I also have these super cute wall planters that have flower them. I normally keep like baby's breath in there, but now I put these flowers in there because of the coffee shop. I'm going to keep blooms in there now because that's cute. That's real cute. But yes, you guys. So this is what my home looks like. At least a little piece of it. You get to see a little piece. And I cannot wait to see your space. But I think making your house a home will uplift you in ways that you never thought possible, and especially when you are inviting friends over. That's what makes me want to invite people over when I just lived in four white walls. I'm like I want to get out of the house. I don't want to spend time dwelling in the house. Right? I want to go somewhere else that is more inviting. Well now my spot is the inviting spot and my friends feel at home and cozy whenever they come over here. I really want you. If you don't take anything away from this, anything else away from this other than this, I want you to stop thinking about a rental. If you live in a rental, stop thinking about it as not yours. You didn't pay for it to be yours, at least for the next 365 days. So make it yours. And with that being said, you guys, I didn't chat it way too long on this, but thank you so much for listening to this pep talk Wednesday. I will see you guys again next week for a full length episode on Monday. Full length episode of the Affirmations Black Girls Podcast. Thank you so much for listening and I will talk to you guys soon. Bye.
- [28:29]
Unknown
Location the Lab Quinton only has 24 hours to sell his car. Is that even possible? He goes to Carvana.com what is this?
- [28:37]
Tyra
A movie trailer?
- [28:39]
Unknown
He ignores the doubters, enters his license plate. Wow, that's a great offer. The car is sold, but will Carvana pick it up in time?
- [28:48]
Tyra
They'll literally pick it up tomorrow morning. Done with the dramatics.
- [28:51]
Unknown
Car selling in record time.
- [28:54]
Tyra
Save your time. Go to Carvana.com and sell your car today.
- [28:57]
Unknown
Pickup fees may apply.
- [28:59]
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