← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
414 | You’re Allowed to Outgrow Survival Mode: Finding Safety, Softness & a New Way to Thrive | Pep Talk Wednesday
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- [00:01]
Tyra
So sometimes I randomly feel a little off and I always wonder, is this stress? Am I not drinking enough water? Is this just what getting older feels like? Because I'm 30 now. And I'll also be the first to admit that I'm curious about the role hormones play in how I feel day to day. But who really feels like shelling out extra coins to find and book an appointment with a specialist? But not knowing what's going on is just as stressful. So I have to start somewhere. So. So y' all. I recently learned about a free two minute quiz that can help you uncover the root of your hormonal symptoms made by Happy Mammoth. It's right there on their website and it's all pretty straightforward. I just answered a few questions about my symptoms, my habits and where I'm at in my life. And they offer a range of products designed to help women feel like themselves again. And with personalized recommendations from the quiz, you'll know exactly where to start. My results recommended that I give their hormone harmony a try, so I'mma see what it's hitting on. Are you ready to start feeling like yourself again? Head over to happy mammoth.com and take their free 2 minute hormone quiz today to find out the ultimate answer to your stubborn hormonal issues. And for a limited time, you can also get 15% off your entire first order with my code affirmations at checkout. That's happy mammoth.com and use the code affirmations for 15% off today. Okay y' all, I have a confession to make. I am a hot sauce sleeper. My body be running so hot y' all and sometimes it has me tossing and turning all night. First I'm too hot because I'm under the covers. Then I get too cold because I didn't took them off of me. I'm flipping my pillow every 10 minutes to find the cool side and eventually I just end up with one foot in and one foot out to regulate my body. But I recently realized that it's not just me, it's also my bedding. Heat trapping sheets and duvets are a recipe for a restless night. And no matter how tired you are, I cannot get jiggy with it. Now, I already upgraded my bed. I told y' all. I got the Avocado green mattress and with the warmer weather approaching us, it has given me the push to give their bedding a try. So Avocado's bedding collection is warm weather ready and the refresh that your bed deserves, from soft organic cotton sheets to light as air silk duvets. Their bedding is designed to naturally regulate temperature and keep you cool, comfy and sleeping soundly all night long. Amen. Everything is sustainably made, non toxic and super luxe without the heavy hot feeling that usually comes with high end bedding. And y' all know y' all know what I'm talking about and I can feel confident knowing that my pieces are high quality and will last longer because we trying to make that dollar stretch honey. I really recommend checking out all of Avocado's bedding options and finding the right items to ensure a cooler and more comfy night sleep. So y' all head to avocadomatress.com today to save 10% on all bedding clearance. Bedding Avocado Dream of Better I used to feel like every day was a hustle. Waking up with my mind already going 100mph trying to figure out how to make rent, how to make sure I'm doing everything in my power for my acting career, how to make sure I'm leveling up myself physically and I'm taking care of my body because at the time I couldn't afford to go to the doctor just figuring out how to make any and everything work. But now I have hobbies. I do things for fun. I can take a walk through the park or the mall and forget why I even came in. And for me, that is a level of freedom that I absolutely love to have. Powerful. Your things are as powerful as few things are as powerful. What is up beautiful people? Welcome back to another pep talk Wednesday. I am tired. The creative, your host and virtual cheerleader for the day, delivering a midweek pick me up that you have been craving. Get ready for some encouraging words and a dose of inspiration to brighten your day. Ready? Okay. Foreign When I first moved out to California in 2018, y' all, I was deep in survival mode. I would say the majority of my 20s. Yeah, because I'm only 30 now, but the majority of my 20s were definitely full of hustling and just being in survival mode. Just hustling to survive. And I know for me a lot of that comes from the fact that I decided to move out to Los Angeles in the first place. But even before I moved out to Los Angeles in 2018, in 2018, I was what, 22? 23? Even before that I was living on the east coast and I was still out there surviving. I was in culinary school, I was working at Red Lobster, I was slanging cakes on the side and it was always hustle, hustle hustle. And for me, I was very, very deep into hustle culture. And I remember when I would be, like, once I moved out to la, when I would. I would even think about this when I lived in Jersey, but I would just be, like, walking or at work one day and thinking, wow, I wonder what it'll be like when I'm 25. I wonder what my life will look like when I'm 28. Dang, I'm so tired of doing all of this stuff, of all of this work. I wonder when I'll be able to just have fun. And I know a lot of the thoughts around that didn't necessarily come from me saying, okay, Tyra, I know that you're in survival mode now, but eventually we're gonna have to, you know, live to live. And y' all know on this podcast, I talk a lot about making sure that you're living a full life, because the career will be there, and the one thing that not be there is your mental health, if you continue to just survive and not really care about how you're impacting your body. But I remember it was still 2018. I had just moved out to LA, and I was talking to my friend Alexis, and she asked me. I don't remember how the conversation actually went, but she was like, okay, hey, do you want to go out to eat with me? And I was like, girl, I got food at the house. You know, not in any type of way. I wasn't, like, upset or, you know, anything. That was just the first thought because I did have food at the house. I didn't. I wasn't in a space where I felt like I could go out to eat, you know, subconsciously. I didn't say to her, girl, I don't have no money. I was like, oh, I already have food at the house. Because I made sure that I had everything I needed to survive. So anything out of that basic survival, it wasn't a priority for Tyra in 2018. And she just said eventually she would ask me this, like, all the time. I would go every now and then, but she was like, girl, you got to make time to just go out to eat. You got to make time to just do something for fun. And when she said that, I was like, girl, I'm in la. Like, I'm trying to. I'm focused, you know, And I think that's okay for a certain amount of time. But I did. I was still in a spot where I was working brand ambassador job. So I was freelance. I was 10, 99 so I was just doing contract work, working two to three days for a certain amount of money, and I had to make my dollar stretch. You guys also know, at the time, I was living with this guy who wasn't contributing to our space at the time. So I was really taking care of two adult human beings. Mind you, he was also, like, four years older than me. And at the time, I was just doing it because I knew that I. I could. And because of that situation that I was in and all of that, I didn't always have the space to rest or even think about bettering myself in other ways or just, you know, diving into my hobbies. And I think that's why I am so gung ho about them now, because in my early 20s, I wasn't. I wasn't in a space where I felt I had space to dive into those things. I just. I just had to make it with what I had at the time. So I'm just here to say it is more than okay to outgrow survival mode. Okay, y' all, so I have a confession to make. As the treasurer for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, I want to let y' all know that I gave up on regular bras a long time ago because they were always so uncomfortable. Either the straps would dig in or the cups would have that weird gap that really got on my nerves. Now, I. While I said I do have a smaller chest, and bad bralettes aren't exempt from this criticism either, I just always wanted something that felt good on my body, something that worked for me instead of against me. Amen. Now, I'm pretty sure I wanted the last people to try skims, but, baby, why didn't y' all tell me that the scoop bralette from the Fits Everybody collection was so freaking good. I don't think I ever expected experienced fabric like this. It's buttery, soft, and it's smoothing. It's like melt into your skin soft, but it still provides that support and that secure feeling without digging or pinching or weird gapping. Okay? And there are also no weirdly placed seams. And y' all know what I'm talking about. You know that over the nipple seam that pokes through your shirt, especially if you got a small chest. I absolutely hate that. But, y' all, I love this bralette. It's lightweight, and it moves with me, which means I can go all day without even thinking about it. And I got it in two colors, and I wear them under everything. Now, listen, this part is important. Shop skims Fits Everybody collection and more@skims.com and Skims LA flagship on Sunset Boulevard. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show Affirmations for Black Girls in the drop down menu that follows. I really think my 30s are about reclaiming my ease and reclaiming that loss. And I'm putting lost in quotations because I, I am so grateful with everything that I've accomplished since I've been living in la. But that lost time that I spent working non stop, I think something that I was grappling with early on when I started to actually live a full life is feeling lazy, feeling like I had to earn rest instead of it being a priority. And now that I'm 30, I'm still learning just how much rest my body actually needs. Because y' all, let me tell you, it needs a lot more than it did in my 20s and that can be a little frustrating for me. But I think my body is finally resting more because I feel safe, I feel secure. I am not in a toxic relationship. I'm not taking care of a grown man. I am fully putting myself first. I'm making sure that Tyra has what she needs in this time in her life. And overall my nervous system is just so much more calm and I'm doing more normal people things and I'm finding joy in those things. Like sitting on my balcony in the morning, by the way, y' all. I have a hummingbird living on my balcony right now and I just be going out there to water my plants in the morning to make sure I don't disturb it. But I'm finding joy in those things. I'm also doing actual grocery shopping these days. That's not something that I would have normally done in my early 20s. I'm having more slow Saturdays. I typically just go to the gym on Saturday mornings and I come home and I let the day take me. If the day takes me to just laying on this couch all day, baby, I'm laying on this couch all day. I also take walks. You know, I tell you guys all the time that I take walks with my friend Alexis. She now has a in person job. So we can't walk every day. So now I just go for walks on my own very leisurely walks. I walk slow, okay? I will even like walk through stores with no urgency. I am doing normal people things. I remember I was talking, this was actually last week, I was talking to a friend and I was telling him I Was like, I, well, this is what happened. So I invited him over for dinner. This is a friend, y' all. Friend. I'm serious friend. And he was like, dang, I haven't done this in a while. And I was like, what normal people stuff? And he was like, you know what? Yeah, that's exactly how I would put it. I haven't done normal people things. And the. I feel like that's the best way to put it because when you live in a place like La Hustle, culture is so ingrained into everything that you do, you don't feel like a normal person. And it's not to say that normal people things are like less than or anything. I honestly strive to be a normal person, but have an acting career, a normal person, but be a content creator. And all that means is that I am making time for the things that, as we've talked about before, constitute a full life. Your career is not your whole life. And I also want to touch on the fact that thriving doesn't mean it's perfect when you're thriving. Like my 30s are all for thriving. You know how people say 30? Flirty and thriving. My 30s being my thriving time means that I am present, I am taking inventory of the things that Tyra wants to do, the things that Tyra is feeling, the things that Tyra needs to work on, all of that stuff. Because I do have things that I want to work on in life. I do have things that I want to learn how to do, all of that. And in my 20s, I didn't have room for it. But now that I'm in my 30s and I'm not in and I don't want to equate my 30s to being without up survival mode. That's just how it worked for me. You could be out of survival mode at 18, 20, it doesn't matter. 40, it doesn't matter. But for me, since it was my 30s, that's really why I keep saying this, or my late 20s. But now that I'm in a space of thriving and not just surviving, I have the space to breathe, I have space to laugh, I have the space to feel. And I'm so excited about all of that. So especially when I was reflecting in Thailand when I was turning 30, I started to just get so overwhelmed with just joy and pride because I really worked my ass off in my twenties. And I'm so grateful to that Tyra for setting 30 year old Tyra up for success in the way that I did. But I want to invite y' all to reflect on a question that I have been reflecting on myself. What is something that you do now that your younger you couldn't even imagine having the time or capacity for? For me, that was taking a trip, like Thailand. We literally just went to Thailand for 12 days for our birthdays, me and my best friend, and she invited her family, and I invited one of my line sisters, and we just had an amazing time. That's something that my younger self couldn't even imagine having the capacity for. And I'm also in a space where I am now being way more soft. And even as I'm talking about this right now, it's just so crazy how being in survival mode and taking care of everything can have a very masculine appeal to it. And now that I am thriving at 30 years old, I feel more soft. I feel like there is so much more softness in me, and that I really believe softness is a sign that you've made it through the hard times. As you guys know, we have a challenge for every single pep talk Wednesday episode. So this week's challenge, and I really hope y' all be doing these challenges because they're so simple, but I think they're so rewarding. So if you do this challenge, I send me an email. I know a few of you guys have been emailing me with your results to your challenge for each pep talk, and I absolutely love it, and I would love to share them on the a future episode. So go ahead and share those with me. But today's challenge or this week's challenge for this pep talk is like the reflection question I just asked you was something that you couldn't even imagine your younger self having time or capacity for. When you come up with one of those things, one of the easier things, indulge in that thing this week that could be taking a long walk, that could be going to the movies, whether by yourself or with somebody else, that could be sitting on your couch all day and doing absolutely nothing and not feeling guilty about it. Resting, that could be going to the beach. It could be a lot of different things. And I think it's so important to make sure that we are making time for stillness. I think being able to be still is a luxury. And what I mean by that is a lot of times when we are in survival mode, our nervous nervous system is in disarray. So even if we are sitting still, we aren't in stillness because our body is still very full of worry, doubt, or whatever that whatever it may be full of when we're in survival mode. But I think when you are in a thriving stage in your life, you're able to truly be still and give yourself that stillness. And it can show up in a lot of different ways. Like I said, beach, laying on your couch all day, going to the movies by yourself, you know, going out to eat by yourself, going to a restaurant, those types of things. So I want you to indulge in, in that this week. And it may be hard, like you might be like, oh, I don't know if I could do that yet. Do it. Give yourself 15 minutes, give yourself an hour. Give yourself two hours. I promise you your body will thank you. Okay, so as I continue to get older, I am constantly looking for better ways to take care of my skin. But you guys know how every few months there is this new new must have skincare products. Do you ever feel like no matter how fancy the product is, you try, your skin still gets irritated, dry, or just really overwhelmed? Girl, same. Okay. My skin has always been on a more sensitive side and I had to slow it all the way down and get back to basics with LA Pure Naturals Beef Tallow face cream. Yes, y' all, you heard that right. I really like how it's made with simple nutrient rich ingredients like aloe vera and raw honey. Nothing complicated or harsh and designed for sensitive skin. But honestly, anyone who's tired of the hoopla from a 17 step skincare routine can benefit from this product. This face cream is super rich, but melts into your skin without feeling heavy or greasy. And because it mimics the natural oils your skin already produces, it helps moisturize, heal and protect all without clogging your pores or throwing your skin off. It's truly a back to basics approach to skincare that feels refreshing in a world full of over complicated routines. And let's talk about that glow honey. Okay, so if your skin has been asking for something real, something gentle, something that just makes sense, this is your sign. Ditch the overwhelm and nourish naturally with LA Pure Naturals Beef Tallow face Cream. Unlock your natural glow. Discover the power of nature's original skin care. Get yours@www.lapurenaturals.com that's LA L a pure P U R E Naturals. And use code affirmations for 40 off. Okay, y' all remember when summer meant vacation Bible school? Growing up, there really was something about learning scripture, singing songs, fellowshipping with other kids your age, and feeling spiritually full in that kid way. These days, life is busier and it's louder and leaving our time with God on the back burner. That's why I love tools that make it easier for me to stay connected and pour into myself again. May is Mental Health Awareness month, and for me that means taking better care of my spiritual peace too. So the Glorify app feels like a grown up version of everything we loved about vacation Bible school, right? But on your schedule and in your own space. And that could be in a park, at a beach, on a restaurant's patio for lunch. Anywhere with a little sunrise can replicate the fun feeling you get daily devotionals, scripture readings, reflection prompts to process real life through a spiritual lens and this cool immersive experience called Daily Walk with God. Whether you're already deep in your faith, you're just exploring, or you're reconnecting with God, Glorify makes it all accessible, supportive and grounded in peace. So Visit glorify D app.com affirmations right now to download the Glorify app for free. That's glorify-app.com affirmations with an S to download the Glorify app for free. Glorify-app.com affirmations y' all. I absolutely love that it is finally getting warm outside here in LA and I've been back in my hosting bag. Okay, I'm talking about charcuterie boards. I have been trying new recipes. I've been having themed parties like my coffee shop and all the cute backyard vibes, but on my rooftop instead. But I also want to be honest for a second. Grocery prices are absolutely ridiculous right now. Like why is a carton of eggs giving luxury item versus something that I need to eat every morning for breakfast? Amen. The last thing I'm trying to do is run up my credit card. Just to be a hostess with the most is Even though that's what I really want to do, I have been loving the idea of building credit without going into deep debt. And that's exactly what chimes Credit Builder Visa Credit card is made for. There's no annual fee, no and no credit check to apply. You just use money you've already set aside and make everyday purchases like groceries, gas and those last minute extra lemons for the aesthetic. You feel me? It helps build your credit steadily over time and lets you handle your business without worrying about sneaky interest charges creeping up behind you. So turn your everyday purchases and on time payments into steps towards your financial goals with Chime Secured Credit Builder Visa Credit Card. Get started today@chime.com affirmations. That's chime.com affirmations Chime feels like Progress Banking services provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Banking A members FDIC spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. EAs apply at out of network ATMs IP eligibility requirements apply. Regular limits range from 20 to $502 fee applies to gift funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com disclosures for details. One of the biggest goals of mine has always been to live a full life. I didn't necessarily know how that would come about, but I knew deep down that being in survival mode would not get me to where I wanted to go. Or maybe I should say being in survival mode for the rest of my life would not get me to where I wanted to go. Because like I said, when you're in survival mode, your nervous system is not still. Your nervous system is so uneasy and sometimes we need to be in that fight or flight or freeze situation. But it's not a state that we are meant to live in 247 so think about what are some signs that show that you're not in survival mode anymore? Is it going to bed on time? Having a home cooked meal? Indulging in your hobbies? Making time to laugh? To feel? What does that look like for you to not be in survival mode? And I don't want you to think that survival mode means or a sign of it is anything monetary? We get it. Being in survival mode so you can actually survive and put a roof over your head. But outside of that, inside of you and your day to day life, what does getting out of survival mode look like? Yes, having more money, we get that. Yes, having a place to live, we get that. But outside of that, how will you know when you've made it out of survival mode? How will you know when you are no longer surviving and you're thriving and being present in the moment? I'm going to say this again and I'm going to say it loud. It is okay. And it is actually one of the most important things for you to do to outgrow survival mode. And that could look a lot of different ways for all of us. But it's so important that we do it. That is all that I have for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this Pep Talk Wednesday episode. Once again, when you do the challenge of the week, please send me an email. Let me know how it works out for you. What thing you decide to do that your younger self wouldn't even have the capacity to even fathom yourself doing? I can't wait to hear from you guys. If you are watching the video, make sure you give this video a like and make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel. It will help us out a lot and be able to start doing way more video episodes if you do. But if you're listening on your favorite listening platform, go ahead and leave us a rating and a review and I will see you guys next week for another episode. Another full length episode on Monday. This is affirmations for Black Girls.
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Unknown Speaker
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