← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
416 | Before You Fall in Love Again… Ask Yourself These 5 Questions | Am I ready to be a Partner? Your Love Life Deserves a Firm Foundation and it begins with YOU.
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Tyra
When I was younger, I used to think that I was ready to date if I was bored, finally over the last dude and just had some cute outfits lined up. But, baby, dating takes energy. It takes clarity. It takes capacity. And I learned the hard way that if I wasn't full of those things on my own, I'd go looking for someone or something to fill the gap. I remember putting my whole identity into a relationship because I didn't have goals of my own to chase. And that's when I realized I was trying to skip the foundation. So I slowed down and asked myself five honest questions, and they really opened my eyes to parts of myself that I needed to see. What is going on? Beautiful people. You are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator, and mental health enthusiast. And today I am here to answer one question for myself. Am I ready to be in relationship? Am I ready to be a partner? Am I ready to fall in love again? I said a whole bunch of questions, but it's really at the base of it, it's one question. Am I whole enough to be a partner to someone else and show up fully in that relationship each and every day? And without thinking about these questions that I just mentioned to you guys, I would have said, yeah, I'm ready. And it's just because my body feels ready. I don't necessarily know if my heart and mind truly feel ready outside of the fact that I'm just lonely and would like physical touching, you know, all of the things that everybody loves. But, Tyra, are you truly, truly ready to be an actual partner and a teammate? So I've came across this Instagram post that shared these questions, and that's what we're going to go through today. But before we do that, let's go ahead and jump into our affirmation of the week. This week's affirmation is I choose love from overflow, not emptiness. This one is a good one, y' all. Let's go ahead and drop in. I choose love from overflow, not emptiness. I choose love from overflow, not emptiness. I choose love from overflow, not emptiness. I choose love from overflow, not emptiness. What does it look like for you to choose love from overflow? What does it feel like? I choose love from overflow, not emptiness. Let's go ahead and say it one last time together. I choose love from overflow, not emptiness. Y' all, the key word here in this affirmation is overflow. And you only get to a place of overflow and abundance when you are constantly placing, pouring into yourself. And you pour into yourself so much that you finally have extra to give to those around you. The way I look at it is I don't want to show up in a relationship as 25% of Tyra and I, this can definitely be different based on the situation. So I'm talking from a general lens of if I know that I am not doing the things in my life to make me happy and make me feel fulfilled in my own life, I'm not going to go out and find someone to jump into a relationship with or find someone to latch onto, because then I will expect them to feel that void. And that's not fair to that person and it's not fair to yourself either. So that's what I truly mean by this. But it can be different. Sometimes you can only. And we're not getting into this today, but sometimes when you're in relationship, you only got 10% to give today, but other days you got 90, other days you got a hundred. You know it's going to be different. So I don't mean that part of the relationship journey. I mean you showing up as a whole person, you know what you want in life, you have a clear understanding of your morals and values, you're not easily swayed by anyone else. And you have a giving heart. You have a heart, a heart posture of, we are a team, we're working together, I am here for you. All of that stuff comes from you being in a season of overflow and not emptiness. Because when we are lacking in some areas, we then go to, okay, well, I did this. So what you doing for me that tiff or tat or I got to make sure that I'm not being taken advantage of. And all of these things, you know, that can come, can not always can come from a place of emptiness. But anyways, we not getting into that today. We got to decide, are we ready, y' all to be partners? So like I said, I came across a random Instagram post, and I don't even know where the post is, so I may not link it in the show notes, but I came across across this post of this girl, she was a black girl saying, ask yourself these six questions before you get into another relationship. And I decided to read the. It was an Instagram video and I decided to read the questions that she had. I was like, let me. Let me just see. Because I say that I'm ready for a relationship, But I'm more so ready for a relationship because I just be a little lonely, but I don't necessarily think about. Okay. Am I truly, foundationally ready for a relationship? And these questions have now changed my mindset a little bit more. Right, so question number one is. Or did I say six questions? How many questions is it? It's five questions, I think. Yeah, so we have five questions. I think I said six. Anyways, so the first question is, do you have a healthy relationship with money? Oh, y' all. I. I know I say this pretty often, but I really want to deep dive into the relationship that I was in when I moved out to California, because my partner at the time did not have a healthy relationship with money. And I know I have been financially secure. I just grew up in a household where we did not. We were not insecure about money. And that doesn't mean that you grew up with money, means that you grew up with the understanding that money comes and money goes, and you can make more money if you need to, and you don't have to hold on to every cent you have or with a poor mentality mindset. Right. I didn't grow up that way. So my previous partner did not grow up that way. And it showed up every single day in his money management. He wouldn't have his half of the rent. I would have to make sure that we were both working the same jobs at the time. We were doing, like, brand ambassador work. So it was independent contractor work, gig work, and I would make sure that we worked the same job. So I knew how much money he had coming in, but then he would just go and blow it on things and just not care that we had bills to pay. But that caused a lot of tension. And we had so many arguments about that because he was very insecure in that financially. He was very financially insecure. And the reason that that was an issue or the reason that. Yeah, the reason it was the issue for us is because we live together. Boy, you gotta have your half of the rent. What are you talking about? We live in Los Angeles, for one. He was also four years older than me. So it was just a point of tension. 24 7. And I think it's very important that you have a healthy relationship with money, because when you feel secure financially, you will then choose love in that relationship and not survival. You won't get yourself caught in a situation where you're staying in a toxic relationship for the sake of money. And I really believe that is the main reason why my ex Boyfriend stayed with me for so long because I had the money. I made sure that he had a roof over his head. So you can get stuck in situations like that if you don't have your own money or you're not making your own money. But the thing is, and I've always said this, don't let anybody hold a dollar over your self worth. Learn how money works. Learn ways that you can make money. Get into, like a financial workshop. Learn some financial literacy the best way you know how, so you know how money works and how, how much you need to live your day to day. Because, and I get it, some of us want, like a man to take care of us and all of this type of stuff. But you still should know how money works and you still should be financially secure. And again, I don't mean when I say financially secure, I don't mean you got $100,000 in the bank. I mean, you know how money works. You know that it comes and goes, and you don't have an anxious attachment to your money. Now, second question is, do you love the body you're in now, y' all? This is a huge one. This is a huge one for me. Do you love the body that you're in? Oh, my gosh. I have been. I know I don't talk about body image a lot on the podcast, and I definitely think we should talk about it a little more. I have been on a journey my entire life, and I would say if I were to ask myself this question five years ago, I would probably say. I wouldn't say no. I hate it. But I don't. I wouldn't have a resounding yes. I wouldn't have a confident yes. And I can say that over the last year, two years or so, I have started to love the body that I am in. And I think a lot of that comes from where I grew up. I grew up in the south, and growing up, my nickname was Big Mama, and that was like a term that was used. A lot of young girls were called Big Mama when I was growing up, especially in the South, I've been told that I was big boneded and like, all of these things. And I've never really been super big, super overweight, but it's been instilled in me from a young age that I needed to be more thin. And I've just never been thin, and that's okay. And I think for the longest, I've always just been like, dang, I really want to lose weight. I want to get fine. I'M going to get snatched. You know, all of that stuff. And I've been in sports my whole life. I've had, I've always lived an active lifestyle and I've just never really got into a weight that was thin. So let's fast forward to when I'm actually like dating and in relationship. So I did a six week CrossFit journey. This was maybe this was 2020 and I think it was 20. No, this was 2019. And so I'm still with the guy that I moved out to California with, actually. Let me back up a little bit. I'm going to give y' all some more of this loving. The body that you're in doesn't necessarily always mean your weight. It can mean a lot of different things. It could be your hair, it could be your skin. Like if you have like, you know, blemish prone skin, maybe you have some insecurities about that. It could be a lot of different things. Maybe your height, how big your feet are. I say all that to say I've had some sort of insecurity around all of those things in the past. And with this guy that I moved out to California with before we even moved out here. And this is why whenever I think about this, y' all, I'll just be like, I should have left him in the dust. I should have left him in New Jersey. He should have never made it out to California with me. But God knows what he's doing and he doesn't allow things to happen that should not happen. That's what I believe. You can believe what you want. That's what I believe. But anyways, one day he mentioned my height to me and he. It was just like a passing comment, but he was just like, dang, you're really tall, or something like that. And from that moment on, I started to feel self conscious about how tall I was. And I hated that for me, because I've never been self conscious about my height, y' all. I'm five eight, I'm not that tall. But he was short, he was 57 and are shorter than me, whatever. And for the longest time I did not want to wear heels anymore. And I'm a platform heel, girl, y' all. I had all the platform heels back in 2015, 2016, and I wouldn't wear them. And that continued the entire time I was with him. And I just hated that so much or I was so upset that I started to feel that way and those things started to seep in. But that's why it's so important that you do love your body because your body deserves your attention before anyone else's validation. And when you feel good in your skin, you attract confidence and not insecurity. So I think it's very important that you start nourishing your body and creating healthy habits around movement and exercise and body positivity. I know we've Talked about the mJoy app on this podcast before. It's E M J O Y M Joy and they have all types of body positivity exercises on there. I remember one time they had me do one where I stood in front of the mirror completely naked and just said what I loved about every part of my body. And that was such an odd experience because I was like, what am I gonna say? But that's the point. Your body deserves attention, your attention before anybody else's validation. You should not be looking for anybody else to say, oh girl, I like your thighs. Oh girl, your skin. You need to be saying that first about yourself so that when it comes to you through other people, you're not then craving that external validation. You should validate yourself first and learn, truly learn how to love your own body. I also remember. This is the last thing I'm going to say about it, but I also remember when I was still with that man, he mentioned that I was very masculine and that I dressed like a boy. And that hurt my feelings. I started to feel so insecure, like I was not pretty and all of these things. And through all of that, I also stopped dressing up. I stopped trying to look cute and all of that because he had started to beat down my self confidence. And this was before I started going to therapy and before I had the tools to really work through those sorts of things. But I'm just so grateful that the answer to this question now for me is yes. Because now, baby, look, we playing dress up every day. Tyra looks good. Okay? I look at myself in the mirror and I've said this on the podcast before. Sometimes I'll be like, oh my God, I'm so cute. And I'll just like yell and scream and just be so excited with how I look. And yes, I'm wearing my platform heels again. I do not care what these men got to say. I like to feel good in my skin and that is all that matters. And I am so grateful that I am finally in a space where I love the body I'm in. Now the question number three is, do you know what you actually desire? Now, this one is very much so a deep question. It has layers to it. What do you desire in life? Where do I start? Small. Where do you want to live? What do you want to do in life outside of, well, career? And then outside of career, what do you want to do? What do you want to be remembered for? Do you want to have a house and the American dream with the, the kids, the husband, the dog, the white picket fence? Do you want to just have a job that you go to every day for the next 50 years and then retire? Do you want to travel the world? Do you want to win a Nobel Peace prize? Do you want to write a book? Do you want to do some extensive research on something that you care about? What do you actually desire in life? What's important to you? What is your, what are your non negotiables in your actual life? Like at the end of your life when you standing there on your judgment day, what do you want to say? What do you want God to say? Job well done on in your life. What are those things? Right. I think this is an important question and it can, I don't think this can be answered in a day. I think you really need to take some time, but you need that clarity because clarity creates alignment, especially in that relationship. You can't build a healthy relationship if you're still mentally at, at war with yourself. You don't know what you want. You're going back and forth, oh, I think I might want to be a nurse, or oh, I think I want to be an astronaut. Those are two totally different career fields. And I'm using that because that's easy enough for us to visualize. Those are two totally different career paths. Right? A nurse is more. And y' all don't take this as, you know, I'm just using this as an example. A nurse is more stable. You go to work, you come home astronaut. You could be in space for six months and then your, your date to come back to Earth might change. You might be up there another six months. You know what I mean? That's very, that's a very volatile place to be. And you never know what's going to happen. Things can change. So create that a lot. That clarity will create alignment because it's not fair to you and it's not fair to your future partner. If you wishy washy or you don't know what you want. You can't take that. You shouldn't want to take people on that journey with you because one, it may be frustrating for them, especially if they are, they are set in what they want. And you're trying to see how Yalls lives are going to mesh together. And also they can be a bug in your ear that you do not need while you are trying to figure out what you actually deserve. Sometimes we truly need that solitude. Sometimes we truly need to have that time to ourselves to figure out what we want. And we can't do that when we are again at war with ourselves. A healthy relationship requires proper attention and you can't give it that if you can't think straight. So some ways to actually figure out what you desire. You could practice journaling and healthy self reflection, even things like yoga, pilates, mindfulness, taking a walk, getting in sync with yourself and really figuring out what your inner voice sounds like. Spending some time in the word, spending some time with God. All of those things can help you figure out what you actually desire. So sometimes I randomly feel a little off and I always wonder is this stress? Am I not drinking enough water? Is this just what getting older feels like? Because I'm 30 now and I'll also be the first to admit that I'm curious about the role hormones play in how I feel daytoday. But who really feels like shelling out extra coins to find and book an appointment with a specialist? But not knowing what's going on is just as stressful. So I have to start somewhere. So y' all, I recently learned about a free two minute quiz that can help you uncover the root of your hormonal symptoms. Made by Happy Mammoth. It's right there on their website and it's all pretty straightforward. I just answered a few questions about my symptoms, my habits and where I'm at in my life. And they offer a range of products designed to help women feel like themselves again. And with personalized recommendations from the quiz, you'll know exactly where to start. My results recommended that I give their hormone Harmony a try. So I'm gonna see what it's hitting on. Are you ready to start feeling like yourself again? Head over to happymammoth.com and take their free 2 minute hormone quiz today to find out the ultimate answer to your stubborn hormonal issues. And for a limited time, you can also get 15 off your entire first order with my code affirmations at checkout. That's happy mammoth.com and use the code affirmations for 15 off today. Okay y' all, I have a confession to make. I am a hot sleeper. My body be running so hot y' all. And sometimes it has me tossing and turning all night. First I'm too hot because I'm under the covers. Then I get too cold because I didn't took them off of me. I'm flipping my pillow every 10 minutes to find the cool side and eventually I just end up with one foot in and one foot out to regulate my body. But I recently realized that it's not just me, it's also my bedding. Heat trapping sheets and duvets are a recipe for a restless night and no matter how tired you are, I cannot get jiggy with it. Now I already upgraded my bed. I told y' all I got the avocado green mattress and with the warmer weather approaching us, it has given me the push to give their bedding a try. So Avocado's bedding collection is warm weather ready and the the refresh that your bed deserves. From soft organic cotton sheets to light as air silk duvets, their bedding is designed to naturally regulate temperature and keep you cool, comfy and sleeping soundly all night long. Amen. Everything is sustainably made, non toxic and super lux without the heavy hot feeling that usually comes with high end bedding. And y' all know y' all know what I'm talking about and I can feel confident knowing that my pieces are high quality and will last longer because we trying to make that dollar stretch honey. I I really recommend checking out all of Avocado's bedding options and finding the right items to ensure a cooler and more comfy night's sleep. So y' all head to avocadomatress.com today to save 10% on all bedding and 50% on clearance bedding. Avocado dream of Better Americans love using their credit cards. The most secure and hassle free way to pay. But D.C. politicians want to change that with a Durbin Marshall credit card bill. This bill lets corporate mega stores pick how your credit card is processed, allowing them to use untested payment networks that jeopardize your data, security and rewards. Corporate megastores will make more money and you pay the price. Tell Congress to guard your card because Americans lose when politicians choose. Learn more@guardyourcard.com? number four is have you already built healthy habits and routines? This is so important. I am so glad that I'm in a space now where I have started to build healthy habits. There are some things that I still want to build and I can see them already. I was thinking about this the other day. I invited a guy over that I thought I would like but we'll get into that another day. But I invited a Guy over. And it just put into perspective, oh, wait. I have these routines and these habits that I have, and I don't really want people messing them up or okay, I definitely need to know what my routine is here. I remember he was asking me, what does my Sunday typically look like? And I was like, well, I might do this, I might do this, I might do that, I might do this. It'd be looking like this sometimes. So that alone just said to me, okay, I need to make sure that I have my routines in order, and I need to have them in order so that I don't sound like I'm just, you know, flying by the seat of my pants every single day. Which I'm not flying by the seat of my pants every single day. But some days I like to just chill. And that's okay, too. That is also a healthy habit and a routine setting around, setting aside time to just chill, gather yourself for the week ahead. But my healthy habits that I already have in place. 1. Going to the gym. I'm going to the gym five to six days a week. Or let me not say gym right now. It's the gym. But my actual goal is, or my actual routine is to make sure that I am moving my body and working out five to six days a week. So I'm starting to implement, especially since the summer are about to be summer out here in la. I am going to a run club, you guys. I just ran my first 5k in the longest I've been. The last time I ran a 5k was in college. So that's been almost 10 years ago. So I want to run more. I want to start going on more hikes again. You guys know that I play tennis every now and then. Boxing is still my number one. Like, I still love it. But I do want to add some new and fresh activities to my my healthy habit routine. Outside of that, right now, I don't have any other routines that are like clockwork. I do every single day. So I would say the answer to this question is yes, but also no. For me, I need to build some more healthy habits because I need to make my own future a priority. I need to make sure that I am working out and all of that. And that's the thing. Strong routines protect your peace, especially if you're in a new relationship. You know, y' all are in the honeymoon phase. You want to spend all this time together, but then you can get way off your game. And having those routines set will keep you in line. So I really think that love Feels different when discipline is already like your love language, right? I love a disciplined man. I love when a man has his routine set up and I need to come correct as well, because how I'm a love when a man have his routine set up, but then I ain't got none. You know what I mean? So solidify your morning routine, find your weekly hobbies. Oh, meanwhile, hobbies, y' all know I go to pottery once a week, so I do have a couple of them. I just don't have them written down and I really need to get that back in order. I go through these, like, times in life where I have my routine written out completely. And then other times I'm like, okay, I need to change it up. Which is okay, but I think, right? Or whenever I decide to invite another man into my life, I need to have my routine written down just so I know it, so I can refer back to it. So when he says, oh, what you doing tomorrow? Or whatever, this is what I'm doing tomorrow. This is what's on my calendar. So you know that these things are important to me. So again, solidify your morning routine, find your weekly hobbies, and create structure in your day to day life. Now the last question. Do you have clear goals for your future? Y' all get clear on where you're going. So love doesn't become your destination. And that is definitely something that I need to hear because especially since I'm 30, I'm about to be 31, and I would really love to start a family. It's in my brain, in my female brain right now. Love is seeming to become the destination and I don't want it to become that. But subconsciously, that's been a battle. Transparently speaking, that's been a battle that I've been having lately because I want a man. I want a man. I want to get married and I want to have babies and I want to just live. I. I see. I keep going back and forth, y' all. I am partially like a traditional woman, but also I'm a little bit more progressive than that. So anyways, that's not what we're here to talk about. Love is kind of coming to destination, and I'm working hard for it not to be. So if you're not working towards anything, if you have nothing to look forward to when you get up in the morning, as soon as you start dating somebody, you're going to pour all of your energy into that person because it has nowhere else to go. And that will lead to an unhealthy attachment. And I have been there, I will say, in college, when I did the National Student Exchange Program and I moved to New Jersey and I fell in love with this guy, that's exactly what happened. I moved away. I was only there for a semester. I did not plan to fall in love with him, but I ended up staying for the summer. And I stayed with him and his mom because, you know, we're still college age. Like, we hadn't graduated college. And I stayed with him and his mom, and my life became. My life started to revolve around him, and y' all was happy as a clam. But I didn't. I was honestly. Wow. At that time, I was honestly okay with giving up my dreams to be with him. And it's just so crazy to say that. And I can still very vividly feel how I felt back then. And I'm just like, that is so crazy. It's because I didn't have clear goals for my future. I thought that this love was the destination at that point in my life. And granted, I'm young. I still had time to grow and all of that stuff, but it became a very unhealthy attachment. It didn't become unhealthy in a sense of, like, we were fighting and it was toxic. It wasn't that. It was unhealthy in a sense of. I didn't want anything else but to be with this man. And I was perfectly okay with that. But the thing is, you are the main character in your life, and your partner is meant to join your path and not to define it. So what goals do you want to hit? I know off the top of my head, some goals that I have. I really want to be cast in an action adventure film, Hopefully Jurassic park or Transformers, or get my own string of movies that I am the star of. That's action adventure. I also want to write a cookbook. I want to write a couple cookbooks, but I also want to publish my first cookbook. And those are just two off the top of my head that I really want to happen in my life. So I have to make sure that I am working towards those things, because I have. I know that I have the tendency to have an unhealthy attachment to my man whenever I do get one. So having those clear goals will set you up for success, baby. I remember being in relationships where I didn't even know what I needed. I just knew I didn't want to be alone. I was showing up with pieces of myself, hoping someone else would complete the rest not because I didn't care about me, but because I honestly thought I had time to waste. I thought love would help me figure all of it out, but it didn't. It just made those gaps even louder. It made everything louder. The confusion, the insecurity, the self abandonment. I was saying yes to people. I had no business entertaining y' all letting them take up space in my life, not because they were a good match for me, but because I was ultimately disconnected from me. And when you don't know yourself, anyone can become a placeholder. And that is a very dangerous game to play. But now I realize love isn't where you go to find yourself. Love is where you go once you've already come home to yourself. Before you look for someone to build with, make sure you've started building with yourself. You are not behind. You are not incomplete. You are simply being invited to root deeper in your own journey. Love is beautiful, but it's not the reward of worthiness. You are worthy the whole time. So if your answers to these questions we talked about today weren't yes, let that be the start of your next season. One where you love yourself out loud. You prepare your life intentionally and know that when love shows up, it'll find you whole. Oh, y' all, you know what time it is? It is time for our fun closing segment. And today, you guys, we are doing this is my favorite fun closing segment recommendation of the day. Yay. Yay. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you guys a couple of things that I have been loving. We have talked about these things in the past. Past. But you know what? It's okay because they are relevant today as well. So the first thing that I want to recommend today is the calm app. I know we've talked about these five questions to ask yourself before you jump into a new relationship. And the Calm app goes hand in hand with this stuff. Like the question that I asked about knowing your desires. You can put on a meditation from calm and get your journal out and just write brain dump. Just download everything from your mind there. I really love the Calm app because this is not sponsored, y' all. I do want to throw that in there. I really love the Calm app for their sleep stories, y' all. I'd be out like a light and I'd be sleeping like a log when I put on those sleep stories. Fun fact. My favorite one, y' all, is Peppa Pig. When her daddy be telling her the story. I love it so much. The guy who voices Peppa's daddy is his Voice is just so creamy. So many of them are just so good and they just itch my brain the right way. I love it so much. But there's tons of things on the Calm app. I know when I'm on like a flight or something, I will listen to the inflight series that they have on there or some lo fi music, some bedtime music with no words that keeps me calm. Anyways, I have a free 30 day guest pass. It's linked down below in the show notes. Go ahead and click it and get calm for 30 days. Remember, I is not sponsored, y' all. So it's down below. And the second thing that I want to recommend, especially since it is getting hot outside again, it's another app and it. It is Class Pass. We've talked about Class Pass before. A lot of people at my gym actually use Class Pass and instead of buying a membership to the gym, and me and one of my sorors, we were talking after a chapter meeting one day and she was just like, girl, we gotta go take a Pilates class. And I was like, girl, I don't be doing Pilates. Where we gonna go? And also I have a membership already at my gym that is 200amonth. So I don't really have, you know, a lot of extra money to go and get a whole nother membership. And she was like, girl, Class Pass. And I was like, oh my God, I completely forgot about Class Pass, even though I have used it in the past. And I said, you know what? Okay, let's do it. So now we do Pilates with Class Pass. And there's so many other things on there. I've. I think I've mentioned this in the past and I have not done it yet and I need to do it, but I found a tap dancing class on Class Pass and I was like, oh, yo, I need to do that. But there's like, it's a health and wellness app, so you can do workout classes, you can get massages, you can get your hair done, nails done, pedicures, all types of things with the Class Pass app. It's not just being able to go to a gym. So I think that's pretty dope. And you just purchase like a certain amount of credits and then you use them. However many credits. Like a class may be like five credits, three credits, or like getting your nails done, maybe 10 credits, 15, something like, like that. But it's super dope if you like to shop around and you like to try a lot of different things. I think it's great, especially for the summertime, because this is the time to be doing all of the activities. Okay, so I'm gonna put my link for class pass down below as well. I forgot how many credits you get, but you get maybe like 10 free credits if you sign up with my link. And yes, again, this is not sponsored, but those are my recommendations of the day because those are two apps that I have definitely been loving. You already know, I've it. Me and Calm go together real bad. I would absolutely love if they sponsored the podcast. That would be so dope and it would be such a full circle moment because Calm has really gotten me through a lot. I started using a Calm app after my breakup with the guy that I moved out to California with, and it just felt like a hug. The Calm app is just so. It's. It's truly amazing, y' all. So Please use the 30 day guest pass. I've sent it to my family, my mama, my daddy, everybody. And they all said that they like, they like the app and I wish they used it a little more. They said they liked it, but I'm trying to figure out if they really, like, still use it. I need to go and check in with everybody, but I'd be sending that link like it's Nobody's business because 30 days for free. All right, now, I really hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I had a lot of fun. Again, if your answers to those questions aren't yes, just take some time to really see if you're ready to be a partner. And if you are a person that is already in a relationship right now, that's totally fine. I'm not saying leave your relationship, but now you have some indicators of the things that you may need to focus on for yourself to really become that whole person and know what you want out of life and not just feeling around in the dark. So with that being said, y' all, that is all that I have for you guys today. Thank you again for listening. Make sure you subscribe to the Pit to the podcast. Leave us a rating and a review. I really want to stay in in apple top 100, you guys. So please leave us ratings and reviews. And yeah, I will see you guys again on Wednesday for a pep talk Wednesday. We will have a pep talk Wednesday, this upcoming Wednesday. And I'm super excited, excited about it. So thank you guys so much for listening. This is affirmations for black girls.