← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
424 | Soft Life Summer School: Money Mindset | Releasing Fear Around Finances & Planning for a Secure Future
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- [00:00]
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- [00:27]
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- [00:57]
Tyra (Host of Affirmations for Black Girls Podcast)
Did you know that as of 2025, only 64% of Black Americans have a will or estate plan? And honestly y', all, I get it. Talking about money and legacy and future planning can feel overwhelming or even scary. But avoiding the conversation does not make it disappear. It just means that we are not prepared for when we need to be. And hey, I am no financial expert by any means, but I'm just sharing what I learned and what I'm still figuring out. Growing up, money wasn't always abundant in my house. We were rich, but we also were not poor. But my parents gave me and my brother a healthy outlook. Money comes, money goes, and you can always find a way to make more. And that mindset has stayed with me. I'll say dating was when I really saw how different people's relationships with money can be and how much our mindset shapes the way we handle financial conversations. Powerful things are as powerful as powerful. What is going on? Beautiful people. Welcome back to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. I'm your host Tyra the creative actress, content creator and mental health enthusiast. And as you guys can see, if you are watching, we are in my bed y'. All. We have a soft Life Summer School episode today. I just started this last week and it is just a laid back series where we talk about things to help us live a softer life in a casual way. That's why I'm in bed. So if you listening to this episode, go ahead and lay down. Go take a little walk, a little stroll. I Want this to be as laid back and casual as possible. I only have, like, a couple of episodes of this soft life summer school coming up for you guys, since we're at the end of summer. But I really wanted to do something fun. So class is in session. So a lot of us already know this, but I just want to say money is more than just the numbers in our accounts. But I'm starting to realize that it's actually about how safe you feel when you walk through life. Money and having money and the conversations around money, it all has. It's directly impacted by the way you feel in your life. So when you shift from constantly worrying if you have enough, you're taking the steps to protect what you have, you start breathing a little easier. And I don't know about you, but that peace of mind is truly the real wealth that I'm chasing. And I never really thought to have any type of money conversations because growing up in my household, like I said, my mama and daddy money talk wasn't on the table, not in front of the kids. I recently found out. Well, not recently, maybe a couple of years ago, I found out that my mama and daddy filed for bank bankruptcy when we were younger. And I was like, we would have never known. And my mama actually brought that up recently. She was like, one of the things that was a pat on the back moment for her was the fact that me and my brother both said we never thought there were any money issues growing up because we always had what we needed. And when we asked for things, we got it. We very much so did not have the type of parents that would say things like, do you have McDonald's money? Or, you know, the things that we joke about? Or a lot of my other family members, I would hear this growing up when they were talking to their kids. I don't have money for that. You know, I don't have money for that and things like that. And I'm just so grateful that my mama and daddy didn't talk to me and my brother that way. But like I said, through dating is when I really started to realize, oh, shoot, people are really raised with different money mindsets. And especially in relationship, I couldn't understand why me and my boyfriend at the time were butting heads so much about money. Because in my head, boy, just go make some money. Like, it's easy. Go do that. But in his head, he had a very unhealthy attachment to money. And that. That's a whole nother thing. And that's his story to tell. And I'm just glad that I'm not in that situation anymore because I became the breadwinner and the provider and all of this stuff just. And I 100% say that that is because of my mindset about money. But before we dive into all of that, let's go ahead and jump into our affirmation of the week. This week's affirmation is I trust myself to manage and grow my resources wisely. Let's go ahead and drop in, y'. All. I trust myself to manage and grow my resources wisely. I trust myself to manage and grow my resources wisely. I trust myself to manage and grow my resources wisely. What does it feel like to trust yourself? What does that truly feel like? I trust myself to manage and grow my resources wisely. I trust myself to manage and grow my resources wisely. Let's go ahead and say it one last time together. I trust myself to manage and grow my resources wisely, y'. All. Saying I trust myself to manage and grow my resources wisely is really about feeling confident in how you choose to handle your money and not letting the stress of it all make you feel stuck or make making you feel stressed at all. Honestly, I think it's important to get to a place where money feels less overwhelming to you or out of the ballpark or foreign and more manageable, even if you're still figuring all of the things out. A lot of us grew up, especially in the black community, grew up hearing things like, money doesn't grow on trees or don't waste your money, or things like, I got to work twice as hard to get half as much. And while these warnings were often meant to protect us, I think they can also create a sense of fear and scarcity around money. And we can't fix what we don't face. Growing up, I have always been a money minded person, and my parents have always poured into me to have a healthy relationship with money, to have a healthy outlook on having money. I started my first business in seventh grade. I was selling Rice Krispie treats, y', all, out of a little bag. I told my mama, hey, can I buy some Rice Krispies treats? I'm gonna sell them at school for 75 cents. And my parents invested in my first business. By the time I made it to high school, I was selling, you know, the variety packs of chocolates and, like, Skittles and stuff from Sam's. I was selling four of those a day. I was also selling chips. I was selling these. What are they? The big Texas cinnamon rolls. They were so good. The king size Kit Kats, hot fries, baby. I had it all. And by the time I was in my 11th grade and 12th grade year of college, I was selling salads, I was selling PO boys. I did pancakes one time, y'. All. I was not playing, okay? And one thing that I always say about that entire experience, and I was also. Oh, I was doing Oreo balls, y'. All. That's how I actually said, okay, I'm gonna go to culinary school. Because I started selling Oreo balls. People love them, and they could not get enough. I was like, I got something here. I started doing special occasion cakes by the time I made it to my senior year of high school. And I was like, this is definitely something. I ended up getting a scholarship from the nfib, the National Federation of Independent Business for college. And I was like, you know what? I have something here. And throughout all of that time, my mama and my daddy invested in me. Not. Not the money. I always made my own money. I also had a job. I don't know how I did all this stuff in high school, y'. All. I also had a job. I worked at Sonny's Pizza, and I was also on the basketball team. I made straight A's. I was valedictorian of my class, and I also made my own money. And I did not have parents that said, stop doing that. Why are you doing that type of stuff? And the faculty also allowed me to do it. There were other people that tried to sell candy in school, and they would get in trouble. I truly believe I did not get in trouble selling candy because I was making straight A's. I was doing the announcements every morning when I would go into my math class. I think this was my sophomore year. I would give my candy bag to my cousin Sean, and he'll go sit in Ms. Webb's class. We had a whole system, and it was very much so a community effort. And I was just so happy about this because, remember, I was in high school between 2009 and 2012. So Michelle Obama had her whole. I don't even know what it's called, but it was healthy stuff going on in school. She had her initiatives, and we couldn't have, like, vending machines with food in them anymore. And we only had, like, Coke Zero, all of that. So I was like, I see a hole in the market, and I'm going to do this. So I say all that to say I am so grateful that I never had a scarcity mindset when it came to money. And the People around me have always poured into me in a way that I believe built the foundation for me to be able to come out to a place like LA and Thrive. I've been in LA for seven years. I have a six figure podcast. I've been making six figures for the last three years now. I couldn't imagine like 15 year old Tyra. If you told 15 year old Tyra, that should have been like, girl, what, what are you talking about? Six figures? Living in LA on your own, in a luxury apartment. What? I'm just so, so grateful. I really think the conversations around money start at home and I think all of us should take inventory of what those conversations look like. Did you have people in your life when you were growing up that was opening bills in your name, that had bad credit, that then spiraled out of control into other things where you always moving into new apartments? Were your things getting repossessed? All of that definitely plays a part in it, but I definitely think it starts at home. But a scarcity mindset. I would say that when it comes to money, I don't have a scarcity mindset, but that can look like a lot of different things. So in everyday life, a scarcity, a scarcity mindset could look like hoarding money. Maybe you'll never want to spend your money. You got money up in the bank in your savings account, but you're not going to touch it, even when you need to touch it, because you don't know when the next check is coming in or you don't know when you're not going to have it. Avoiding spending even on needs or when you can't afford it. It can also look like believing opportunities are limited or avoiding financial conversations. When I first moved out to la, I moved out here with a guy and y', all, to put it plainly, I ended up taking care of this man. And it was the most frustrating thing because he was way older than me, like four years older than me. And I became the provider of our relationship and that alone transpired into a lot of other things. But anytime I would try to bring up finances, hey, it's time to pay the rent. What you got? I know what jobs you working because at the time we were doing brand ambassador work and I was getting us all the jobs. So I know how much money you're making. Where is it all going? It literally got to the point where this man would cry to not talk about money. And I could not understand it would make. I would be infuriated. I could not understand why we could not just talk about money. And having a conversation about money is just like me having a conversation about what I ate for lunch today. And I'm so grateful that that is the relationship that I have, because that relationship especially taught me that not everybody grew up with that type of attachment to money. But, yes, a scarcity mindset can look like those things. It can also look like feeling guilty or anxious about spending the money. Like, oh, shoot, I really want this Coach bag. Maybe I don't want to spend it because I don't know if I'll have this money in the future. Baby, one thing Tyra gonna do is buy that Coach bag, okay? Yolo. In the most respectable and in the most responsible way possible. Yolo. Money comes, money goes. And I think even as we're having this conversation, check in with yourself. Are you feeling uneasy about this conversation? With the things that I've been saying so far, have you been like, girl, no, not this. Because if you have been finding a conflict with things that I've been saying, take a step back and ask yourself, where does that ideology or where do these thoughts stem from? Is it from my childhood? Am I saying that it's just me being realistic versus optimistic? Because I truly believe a lot of times when we say that we are being realistic about things like, especially when it comes to money, it's pessimism masked as realism. And I think that's very important for us to pinpoint if that's happening for us. It can also look like hoarding money or obsessively saying, because what if I run out? What if I lose my job? What if this baby money come, money goes. What else? It can also look like a scarcity mindset. Can also look like overworking yourself out of fear that you won't have enough income. Baby, just do that budget. See what you need. And then once you hit that number, rest in that knowing that you truly will be okay. We don't have to live in a scarcity mindset, but these behaviors can truly hold us back from enjoying life or even growing financially. For example, if you are the type of person that is always hoarding your money or obsessively saying, well, what if I run out and say somebody came up to you with an investment opportunity or whatever. I mean, these days, a lot of stuff be scams, but if somebody came up to you and said, oh, well, what if you invest in this stock and you're like, I'm not doing that. That's too risky. And then that stock blow up, kind of like, what happened with bitcoin, honestly, a lot of people were sitting on their money. And at the time when it started, you could have just put in, I don't know, like a hundred dollars for a coin or whatever. And it became so much bigger. So even things like that, missing out on opportunities, it can stop you from growing financially, I think, in the most responsible way possible. We should. We should have a healthy amount of risk in our lives. I think that's super important now. I definitely think my parents are different from their parents and so on and so forth, because generational experiences, especially in the black community, can influence our relationship with money. We have not always had money. We have not always had the opportunity to make as much money as other people. I totally get that. So there's a ton of. A ton of historical barriers for black families around building wealth. We're not going to get into it today, but things like redlining, unequal access to banking and things like that, I get it. I get that is deeply rooted. And I think that is our job, as we continue to get older, to make sure that we are retraining our brains to not still live in that time, know where we came from, but also know where we are trying to go and know how we are trying to elevate ourselves as people. That's just as important. Important. A lot of stories passed down from your parents or grandparents or their parents can also shape money, beliefs and fears as well, and the pressure to be financially responsible or perfect because of those struggles. For example, I've asked my grandma this multiple times. What are your hobbies? She don't have none in terms of, like. So she was talking one time about wanting to go to the spa, and she was basically saying that she never really treats herself. Baby girl, go to the spa. Treat yourself with the money that you made for yourself. Do it because you only have one life to live. And I truly believe all of that, especially when you can splurge on something for yourself at least once. I'm not talking about frivolous spending, but splurge on something for yourself. Whether it is a spa day or a massage or a bag that you have been wanting for five years. It teaches yourself that you deserve good things. You deserve the desires of your heart. You deserve the material things that you want to purchase. Now, that's a whole can of worms that we're not about to get into. It can go deeper than all of that. But I'm saying in a general sense, buying yourself the things that you want in life will help you see just how Good you're actually doing. And it will help you remember that money comes, money goes. And it is more than okay to spend some of my money or all of my money, depending on your situation, on yourself is totally fine. So I think recognizing your personal money patterns and where they come from are super important. Like I said, if you feel uncomfortable with this conversation or you're like, tyra, girl, what is you talking about? Take some inventory. Take a step back, ask yourself some questions. Also, think about your earliest memories with the money. What feelings or what lessons stand out for you? For me, my earliest lessons are the fact that my mama and my daddy invested in my businesses when I wanted to sell candy. And now that I think about it, my actual first time selling candy was when I was way younger. So I can't remember who bought it, but my mama or my daddy bought me a little vending machine, and I used to put the little mini candy bars inside and sell them for 25 cents at church. And that ignited something in me to keep doing that. I also, I remember one time I wanted a Build a Bear and my cousin Jazz, we were the only two girls at that time. We both wanted one. So I was like, you know what? We're going to make popcorn balls and we're going to go around the neighborhood and we're going to sell them and we're going to make enough money to get our own Build A Bears. And we did. My parents have always invested in me in that way, and that's why I'm out here in la. That's why I always know how to make a book. I always keep a job. Okay. Like, I think it's so important to pour into your kids in that way. And I'm just so grateful that my parents have done that for me. But again, awareness is definitely the first step in all of this. I'm not saying to go and try to change all of these patterns overnight, but seeing where you have an opportunity to grow is definitely the first step with becoming more secure in your attachment to money. A money mindset is not fixed. It's something that is learned, and it can also be unlearned and relearned based on what it is you learned in the first place. So I think stepping away from fear and focusing on your strategy about money is very important because we have to move towards a security mindset, a more secure attachment to our money. So think about simple and actionable things that anybody can take, no matter where you are in your journey or no matter how much money you make on a Monthly, weekly, yearly basis.
- [21:44]
Grainger Advertiser
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- [22:14]
Tyra (Host of Affirmations for Black Girls Podcast)
It may be that season, but y' all know I'm not headed back to anybody's classroom these days. But one thing I do love about back to school season is new routines, new goals. Reason to tighten that budget and get a fresh start. And baby, my phone bill is definitely on that list. I've been interested in Mint Mobile and let me tell you, I might be ready to make the switch, y'. All. Their math is mathing. Three months of unlimited premium wireless for just $15 a month come now. Mint runs on the nation's largest 5G network, so you're still getting fast service just without the games and surprise fees. And the best part is you can keep your number. You can keep your phone and handle everything online. Easy peasy. Whether you're a parent who wants to save for the whole family or a college student who's still getting a handle on your money, here's your reminder. You do not have to overspend on your phone bill this year. Skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get this new customer offer and your three month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month at mintmobile.com affirmations that's mintmobile.com affirmations up front. Payment of 45 required equivalent to 15amonth limited time new customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabyte on unlimited plan taxes and fees. Extra cement Mobile for details Y' all want to know what I love? I love the feeling of coming home after a long day when the sun is still out. But I'm winding down on my couch and I look around and I realize that every corner of my apartment has a little piece of my personality. I love that so much. Wayfair has been my go to for those things that really pull a room together. Like my bar cart. If y' all follow me on Instagram, then y' all have definitely seen it. I got it for Wayfair and it's cute and still super functional. I always dress it up super cute when I'm hosting friends over and they always give me the best compliments on it. I truly find the cutest kitchen accessories that are affordable on theme for my quirky apartment and that get delivered straight to my door super fast. Y', all, they got all kinds of stuff. They got work from home, setups, they got organizers, they have appliances. Meanwhile, I didn't have my eye on that ninja slushie and a portable grill. But, y', all, I decided to get something that I actually really needed. I just got these gorgeous bar stools. Well, they're bar chairs because they got a back on it that really add that extra razzle dazzle to my space. They got yellow cushions and the legs are silver and the back of the chair is a light rattan material. Y', all, they add the perfect pop to my kitchen. As soon as they got delivered, which they got delivered in two days, I put them together and I'm so in love. And I'm so glad that I picked the ones that are silver and a pop of color, because my accent color in my house is a lot of gold. But I was like, nope, I'm a mix of metals and they fit so perfectly. But anyways, y', all, I got the shopping bug now. So if you're craving a little home refresh before fall, Wayfarer has got your back. And you already know Wayfair, they got just what you need. Anyways, y' all, get organized, refreshed, and back in the routine for way less. Head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's wayfair.com wayfair every style, every home. I think instead of saying things like, okay, will I ever have enough, try saying, what small steps can I take today that make me feel more secure? You know, and that's going to be different for everyone. Could it be that you let go of one of those subscriptions? Can it be that you do pick up a side hustle if you have the time? And it's not going to impede on sleep because sleep is very important. But overall, money is not something that we should fear, is something that we should view as a tool to help us live the life that we want to live. It's a tool just like a hammer, just like a. I was about to say a knife, just like a hammer, just like a pair of scissors, just like a screwdriver. It is a tool to help get us to where we are trying to be. So some simple actions, I wrote some down for you guys. You can start tracking your spending to See where your money actually goes and make sure that you don't judge yourself on this. Just view it. View the info. I know for a fact that I spend way too much money going to raising Cane's every single week, but that is okay. I'm working on it. I also have a lot of subscriptions that I don't really use. It's okay. Find the problem and then remedy it. That's all that you have to do. You can also create a budget that reflects what matters most to you and make sure that you're including fun in that. Because if you're not filling all of your cups, you're on. You're going to be living an unbalanced life and it's going to be hard to wake up every day and go to work. Especially if you work in a job you don't like. Come on, somebody. I know it's a lot of us that are doing things because it's a good paycheck versus it being something that we like, especially in this day and age. Make sure that you're making time for fun and things that truly fill your cup up. You can also build a small emergency fund. $5, $10 a week, a month, whatever. It will still build up. Don't try to make too big of a goal at a time. Okay, I'm gonna say $500 a month, girl. What? I'm not doing that. Start small. Start with something that you feel is comfortable, something that is doable, something that you can stay consistent with. You can also look for free or low cost financial resources like podcasts, webinars, community classes. That's why I really wanted to put at least a little bit of financial resources within Affirmations for black Girls, because we talk about personal development and becoming the best version of ourselves, and that also includes our finances. A podcast that I listened to a lot was the Side Hustle Pro podcast. That's because I did a lot of side hustles and didn't have a full 9 to 5 job. There's also. Well, it's not the name of the podcast anymore and I haven't listened to it in a while, but a podcast that I used to listen to faithfully was called Blessed and Bossed up or what's. Is that the new name? Blessed and Bossed Up. And she talked about business and faith in that podcast. So try to find free resources because there are honestly a ton of them out there. And start there and then also talk about money with your friends and family that you trust, sharing tips or struggles that make it less scary. I think reframing money as a resource and money talk as a resource and, and working for you can help so much because money is not the enemy. Money is just a tool. Again, it's something that we control. It's something that we have power over to support our goals and our peace of mind. So instead of restricting yourself from your money, spend it in ways that align with your values. And that includes self care experiences and also growth. Now, one thing that I will say is I am not the best person. And I know this about myself because I've taken inventory. I'm not the best person at putting aside money for taxes. I'm a full time freelancer. At the end of the day, my podcast, my content, all of that. I'm 1099, so I have systems in place because make sure that you are setting yourself up for success. I have systems in place to make sure that as soon as any money hits my account, 20% of it is being taken out for my taxes. And I don't touch that money. I don't see that money. It is in a high yield savings account. I don't touch it. So my money is not just sitting, it's also gaining interest over time. I also have a Roth ira. And y', all, if you're like, oh my gosh, she about to start talking about all this stuff. It took me time to learn these things. And I hope that this is just the starting point for you guys to dive a little more deeper into what financial resources are out there and what financial avenues you should take. But I have a Roth or ira and it's money that you'll be able to use in the future. And you can put like $6,000, 5,000. I'm not a financial expert. Now, don't. I'm just saying this off the top of my head, but you can put like 5,000, 6,000, $7,000 in there, a year of untaxed money. And basically you can use that as your retirement down the line. I have one of those. And I also want to make sure that I am building out my financial team right now. I have a bookkeeper, but I want to have like a financial advisor because I don't know that much about money. I know what my mama taught me, and I know how to make money, but I don't necessarily know how to leverage my money in ways that can exponentially grow my net worth. So I think finding trusted financial help will help you understand the community around money, will help you understand everything that comes with what Having money and what not having money will do for your livelihood. But yeah, use resources that feel relatable and accessible and not overwhelming or intimidated. I mean, don't walk into a big old financial firm and be like, hey, I don't even know what a tax return is. You know what I mean? You want to use resources that meet you where you are so people aren't talking over your head. That's the biggest thing for me. Because if you saying stuff that I don't know what it mean, maybe I'm not letting you touch my money. I'm not letting you see my account. So I think that will help to empower you. Once you learn more, that will help to empower you to go out there and do things that will put you in a position to be better off monetarily. Building confidence around money takes time. It's not something that will happen overnight, but each step you take, no matter how long it takes, will definitely add up. So confidence comes from knowing that you are protecting your future, knowing that you know what all the lingo and terminology means and making smart choices today. Like I said, if you know that you're the type of person that won't set aside money for taxes or tithes in the offering for church, have an automation set up so you can't even touch that money. I know where my strengths and weaknesses are. I divvy up my money as soon as I can. Even when I was in high school and I was working at Sonny's Pizza making tips, I did the envelope method. I had a bunch of different envelopes for everything. I need my little bills. I don't even know what bills I was paying back then. I probably had. Girl, I don't even know what bill. Probably no bills for real. But I had all of my envelopes set up for things that I need. I needed candy money to buy candy every week. I needed money for gas for my truck. I needed money to buy maybe a prom dress because I bought all of that stuff myself to take that burden off my parents. And I had the money. Why would I not spend the money? That's why I'm getting the money. So make things that work for you and also make sure that you are celebrating your progress. Even the small wins matter and show you that you are in control. Money confidence is built over time and it comes from knowing that your future is protected. And you feel confident in having conversations about money and also feel confident in your attachment to the tool of money. But also, we can't talk about financial security without Talking about our future for both ourselves and the people we care about, whether it's our moms or our kids or whatever the case may be. And this whole episode even came about because I recently went home and my mama does estate planning, y', all, and she was just talking about how black people don't be having wheels. We don't be having nothing set up because we be feeling like we don't have anything to even put in them. You should still have a will, an estate, if you can. I don't know all the details. I. I can't wait to bring my mom on the podcast to talk about this. But a lot of people will think that even life insurance have it. We need to start having those. Those conversations. My mama has, like, whole life insurances on me and my brother that she got when we were very, very little. She only paid, I don't even remember, maybe, like $50 a month, maybe less than that for us. And it covers whole life. And that's just if we never go and get our own policies on ourselves, she has policies on herself. Like, having these conversations is very important. I think when people are living with a scarcity mindset, they don't even want to make room to have conversations about wheels and life insurance and all of those things. It seems like something that they should put on the back burner until they have the money to do it. But when you don't have money, that's definitely the time that you need to talk about it. And one thing that I have been seeing so much lately is so many GoFundMes for people because they don't have life insurance. It's important. Now you can say, okay, well, I heard life insurance is bad or whatever. You just have to know your options. There's so many different ones. For me personally, I may get a life insurance policy, but also I'm setting aside money that I will never touch until I'm very old. And I've been doing that. I started like 3 years ago setting aside that money, and right now I only have, like $30,000 in there. I'm saying only. That's so crazy that I just said only. I have, like, $30,000 saved, and I never plan to touch. And I'm at the point in my life now where that money, I can see the number, but it's in a high yield savings account. But in my head, it doesn't register as money. It registers as retirement. It registers as money that I'm going to pass now. It registers in my brain as money that is for my burial and all of those things, last things that my kids may need the money for. And I pray that that money is exponentially larger by the time I'm out of here. But even if I were to go today, and let's just say that my mama didn't have a plan on me or the plan that she had wasn't good for, however I left this world, I have $30,000 that can be used. And I think that is so important. Like I said, $5 a month, y'. All. You can save $5 a month. Don't buy a pack of gum a month. Don't buy a cold drink. You know what I mean? You can say $5 a month. That's not hard. And once you get into the habit of saving money and putting it aside for things outside of what you need today and in life today, it'll get easier to do every single time. So again, look for low cost or free ways to start. Maybe you want to go to like a legal aid clinic and ask some questions online estate planning tools are a basic beneficiary. Updates on your accounts if you have a salary job. I had to add beneficiaries. I added my brother and my goddaughter to that when I had a salary job. Going through those steps will definitely help you get into the mindset of I need to plan for the future. I should not have a scarcity mindset when it comes to money. I should be looking at the big picture of all of this stuff. You could also create a financial vision board. How much money you want to make? What do you want to do with that money? What else do you want to do? What do you want to learn about your finances? Get into the nitty gritty of all of that, or getting into the nitty gritty of all of that will help you retrain your brain on how you should feel about money. Because money comes and money goes, but we shouldn't. It should not affect our day to day. We should not be stressing about money. I get it. Especially right now, the economy and all of that type of stuff. I get it. I'm talking in general. We should not be super stressed because we think that money will never come again. Our attachment to money must be healthy, especially if you think about getting in a relationship. I tell you one thing, I pay close attention, y', all, to how these men talk about money and how these men talk about how I spend my money. In a previous relationship, not the one I moved out to California with, but in a previous one, I Mentioned to a guy I was talking to that I was looking for a new housekeeper. And then I also mentioned, yeah, I'm looking for a housekeeper because I. And I also want to get an interior designer to help me figure out what I want to do with my. My room in my apartment, because I needed to be an oasis and, you know, all the things I wanted to be a space that I love to be in, and I just could not figure it out on my own. And he was like, why would you spend your money on that? Okay, we not doing that because, baby, it's my money. It's not yours. And he argued me down about that being a bad way to spend my money. And in my head, I'm like, baby, I can go and make more money. How? You know, I ain't been saving up for this. Like, what? And you just. I don't like those types of combative conversations. So I pay very close attention to things like that because they definitely matter, especially when you get into a relationship with someone. And also, sometimes maybe I could have been the problem, you know what I mean, in the relationship, like, making us butt heads. But I know for a fact the guy I moved out here to California with, y', all, he. That was a lot of stuff that he definitely needed to work on outside of our relationship. And I really wish that I would have peeped any of that before we decided to move in together. But the fact that we moved in together was the reason or the way that I saw his attachment to money in the. In the first place. But knowing that you have a plan, knowing that you can talk about money freely or wealth and wealth planning freely, can give you such confidence in moving through this world, and you start to see things a little differently. It's so important to get informed about all of this. I think being informed and being confident in your money choices and knowing that money comes and money goes are the things that will help you have a healthier attachment to said money. The way money impacts our mental health is no secret, but at some point, we have to leave the scarcity mindset behind, y', all, and we have to take control. The way money impacts our mental health is no secret, but at some point, we have to leave the scarcity mindset behind y', all, and we have to take control. Do not let your finances run wild like a runaway wagon. Your sense of safety and your ability to dream bigger are on the line. A scarcity mindset will have you stuck in fear, but a secure mindset says, I've got this, and I'm building something that will last. And money comes and money goes. I can always make more. But you don't have to try to overhaul your whole life overnight. Like I said, just start with one small change. Open that savings account. Talk to your family about your goals, or finally, look at your spending habits. Every small choice that you make now will allow you to pass down not just money, but the knowledge and the confidence and the healthy attachment and peace of mind. Honestly, when I first asked my mama how much she made at her job, she looked at me like I was crazy. But now we talk about money so much more openly. Not because I need to know the details or she needs to know the details about me, but because it's about breaking down the silence and understanding each other a little better and creating space for real conversations around what money means for our family and our future. So I implore you, take some inventory. If this episode made you a little uncomfortable, really figure out where that discomfort comes from. Because I'm gonna say this one more time. Money comes and money goes. And you can always make more.
- [42:44]
Wix/AMPM Advertiser
What do you think makes the perfect snack?
- [42:46]
Tyra (Host of Affirmations for Black Girls Podcast)
Hmm. It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.
- [42:49]
Wix/AMPM Advertiser
Could you be more specific when it's cravenient?
- [42:52]
Tyra (Host of Affirmations for Black Girls Podcast)
Okay, like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right now in the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. p.m.
- [43:00]
Wix/AMPM Advertiser
I'm seeing a pattern here.
- [43:01]
Tyra (Host of Affirmations for Black Girls Podcast)
Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.
- [43:03]
Wix/AMPM Advertiser
Crave, which is anything from AM PM.
- [43:05]
Tyra (Host of Affirmations for Black Girls Podcast)
What more could you want? Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience AM PM Too much.
- [43:13]
Grainger Advertiser
Good stuff.
- [43:22]
Tyra (Host of Affirmations for Black Girls Podcast)
Oh, y', all, you know what time it is? It is time for our fun closing segment. And today's closing segment is called Big Splurge versus Lil Splurge. And I'm just gonna tell y' all a couple of things that I have purchased lately that I love and that I don't think was a bad purchase, whether it was big or small. So I literally made my big purchase yesterday, y'. All. I have been so enamored by the Ninja Slushie. Now, I'm not a huge appliance girl, but I ended up buying the Ninja Slushie. And, well, first, the regular Ninja Slushie is like, you know, like the black gray color. But then after I bought that one, I literally saw that it came in actual colors, and I was like, bump that. I'm taking this one back, and I'm about to get this colorful one. So I bought a colorful one. I cannot wait to for it to come in. And it was like $400. So that was a big splurge for me and a small splurge that didn't cost a lot of money but made me happy in the moment, and I'm glad that I did. I would honestly say these. If you're watching the video, I'm sitting in my bed, and I have this Psyduck pillow, y'. All. It's so soft. I also have Bulbasaur right here. These things are so freaking soft. I sleep with Psyduck every single night, and it's just so plush. I absolutely love these. These were like 20 a piece, and they are a small splurge that I really, really, really, really, really love myself for buying because I use them every day. They stay on my bed, and literally, I'm coloring up with psyduck every single night, and it just helps me fall asleep so much easier. So let me know what your big splurge is and what your small splurge is, because I want to know. You don't have to tell me the money amount for either thing. I just wanted to tell you guys mine, but you don't have to tell me yours, but I want to know what's the big splurge that you didn't made lately. And also, what's a small one? Happy. Let me know in the comments. But anyways, thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. I think having money conversations are super important, especially in a podcast like this. We don't talk about money often, but it has so much to do with our mental health. So I really want to just open the conversations up here a little more for that. So thank you guys so much for listening. If you are not already subscribed to the YouTube channel, go ahead and hit that big red subscribe button down below. If you are watching. And if you're listening on your favorite listening platform, go ahead and leave us a rating and a review. They are super important. But again, thank you guys so much for listening to what I had to say about money. And if you feel uncomfortable or anything, it's okay. A lot of people are there. A lot of people are not born, especially in our community, are not born into a household where money talk is celebrated. So I totally understand that. But it's up to you now to do the work. So with that being said, I'm gonna get on out here, y'. All. Thank y'. All so much for listening. This is affirmations for Black girl.
- [46:44]
Grainger Advertiser
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