← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
434 | The Stories That Made Us: How Storytelling Heals Us Through Recipes, Memories & Family Stories That are Passed Down
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I don't know about y', all, but these past few weeks have had me on the go. Between traveling back home, long days of doing everything for everybody and trying to squeeze in a little fun, my body has been telling me that I need some extra TLC when I'm constantly on the move. The first things to slip are my good sleep and staying focused during stressful days. So I've been looking into what can help and CBD FX might just be the way to go. They've been in the game for over a decade now with products that are third party testing and made from organically grown hemp. Whether you're new to CBD or already know what works for you, they've got everything from gummies to capsules to sleep aid blends designed to support your specific needs. And I love that CBD FX really prioritizes transparency and quality. You can literally scan the QR code on their packaging and see the lab results for yourself. And a lot of their products are vegan and gluten free. I've got a box of their products headed my way and I'm super excited to try them. Because listen, even when life doesn't slow down, I still deserve to. And you do too. Whether you want calm focus, better sleep, or just an overall wellness boost, CBDFX has something for you. And right now my listeners can get 40% off your first order with code affirmations@cbdfx.com that's cbdfx.com Use promo code affirmations to get 40% off today. Feel the difference with CBD FX? Over the years, I've realized how much we've lost touch with simple storytelling. Okay? Did you know that literacy and reading comprehension in the United States has been on the decline over the past five years? And I think it's just wild to think about because storytelling is one of the oldest skills that we've got, y', all, and one that we cannot afford to lose. Now as kids, it was bedtime stories, family tales, or even recipes passed down like secret codes, or even those long winded stories from our grandparents and great grandparents that we rolled our eyes at when they were telling them. But now as adults, we're glued to screens, doom scrolling or juggling emails and we've forgotten the power of just telling a story. And here's the thing. Some of these stories, some of these recipes are disappearing, y'. All. Older generations who hold this knowledge are passing on. And with them go meals that we may never taste again, family jokes that we may never hear, and wisdom that we may never know. That's why keeping story time alive is so important. It isn't just nostalgia. It's how we pass down culture, humor, creativity and connection. Now, whether it's a podcast that makes you laugh while you're cooking, or journaling your week in 10 minutes before bed, or sharing a recipe that's been in your family for generations, that's story time and it matters more than ever what is going on. Beautiful people, you are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator, and mental health enthusiast. And you guys, today's episode is a video episode. So if you're listening on your favorite listening platform, go ahead and stay there if you like. But we do also have video over on the YouTube channel. Now, somewhere along the way, we traded bedtime stories for endless emails, group texts, or even worse, which I am currently struggling with more than you guys know, doom scrolling on social media. But if we're honest, that little spark of wanting to get lost in the story is still there. And you're never too grown for story time. Whether it's that podcast that you like to listen to to make you laugh while you're cooking, or doing stuff around the house, or you entering stuff into your journal about your day or about your week, or that hilarious story from a friend that has you rolling all the time. Y', all, that is story time. And it matters. Not just for kids, but no matter how old you are. And y' all know I love to talk about this on this show. You have heard it before, you've been listening for a while. And fun fact, they're also sponsoring the podcast right now, so this is perfect timing. But I just have to say I love the Calm app. I love listening to the bedtime stories there. And it's just so satisfying to be swept away in one of those stories. Personally, I'm all about the children's stories. Like I said, my favorite one right now is the Peppa Pig where she's on there with her daddy. I absolutely love it. The character voices is everything and I have linked it down below in the show notes for you guys to try out. You can get like a seven day free trial or whatever. But anyways, before we dive too deep into story time, let's go ahead and jump into our affirmation of the week. This week's affirmation is my experiences and my voice matters. Let's go ahead and drop in Y'. All. My experiences and my voice matters. My experiences and my voice matters. My experiences and my voice matters. My experiences and my voice matters. My experiences and my voice matters. My experiences and my voice matters. Let's go ahead and say it one last time together. My experiences and my voice matters. Oh, you guys, y', all, y', all, y'. All. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the stories that I'm leaving behind right now. Sure, there is my podcast. There is also my YouTube channel that some of you guys may know about the content that I create. But what about the everyday stuff? The little victories, the silly moments, the lessons that I learned in quiet moments, the thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis that I don't really share with anyone? Keeping a journal of day to day life might seem like a small thing or it might seem like a big old task, but it's actually a gold mine for those generations to come. My kids, my future grandkids, they kids, they kids. Imagine them reading those words years from now and seeing life through Tyra's eyes, feeling the laughter, getting to know what my personality was like, seeing the struggles, the growth, what was going through my head in 2025, 2030. That is the power of stor. And it doesn't just keep us connected now. It bridges generations, it preserves our culture, and it reminds us where we came from so we can see where we are going. And it just. All of this just reminds me that my experiences and my voice matters. And I think a lot of times, especially in the type of society we live in now, we don't always know how much weight what I just said actually holds. One of my favorite parts about going home and spending time with family is when y' all all in the living room and y' all are looking through those old photo albums. And I think that is the best incubator for story time, right? So our family traditions that have been passed down or just looking back at what was going on when we were kids or when you were kids or when your grandparents were kids, seeing that in real time or seeing a picture, like a snapshot of that moment and just hearing the story behind it is something that I think is so amazing. I don't have photo albums. Y' all now living in Los Angeles, I said, you know what? I'm building a life here now. I am putting down roots. I need to also make sure that I am keeping documentation of what I'm doing here. I know y' all probably when y' all read the title, y' all Was like, okay, what is she about to talk about today? Story time and storytelling has so many different forms, right? It's not just that book that you checked out from the library that is a fictional story that you're reading to your kids. It's not just something that is for kids to listen to a story before they go to bed. Story time and storytelling is weaved into our culture so deeply because 1. And we'll talk about this a little more later. There was a time when we couldn't write anything down. There was a time when we had to share information through stories in a way where it wasn't so obvious the information that we were sharing. And I think that's why story time and telling stories. Storytelling, I should say storytelling more so than story time. But story. That's why storytelling is so important to me, especially as I continue to get older. And I'm super excited about an episode that we have coming up later this month, y'. All. But it's so important to me because I grew up in the Deep south, and there are so many things that happened when I was younger, when my mama was growing up, when her mom and them was growing up, and even when her mom and them was growing up, my great grandma Willie Mae, that I've told y' all about when she was growing up. And I hear bits and pieces along the way, but being able to sit and hear from the person that lived it is something that we will not always have access to. So if you do still have great grandparents, grandparents, your mom, your dad in your life, sit down and ask them questions. Ask them what they like to do on a random Tuesday when they were 15 years old, what was their favorite sport. And you never know what you can uncover with saying stuff like that to them. It's just so amazing to be able to sit through stuff like that. So, like I said, family traditions as story incubators. There's a lot of stories that get repeated. I know when I'm at my grandma house, there are two stories that my daddy always tell. My daddy always tell about me and my brother. So no matter who around, he gonna tell this story. He gonna tell this one story where when me and my brother was growing up, I forgot how old we were. We wasn't old. We was probably in elementary school. But my mama was in school. She's a lawyer now. She was in school for her law degree at the time. So my daddy would cook for us. And, you know, working parents, they using a crock pot. My daddy used a pressure cooker. Pretty often he used to make these bomb barbecue ribs. So he put some barbecue ribs in the pressure cookie, some country style ribs, right in the pressure cooker. And he fed us. And I think he went in his room, like, take a shower or something, and he came back out and. And me and PJ had finished. We were, like, almost done eating our food at the time. And he looked at us like, where y' all bones? And me and PJ looked at each other like, what bones? What? No bones in these ribs? These country style ribs? What are you talking about, daddy? And he just bust out laughing, and we were like, what's going on, y'? All? My daddy had put the ribs in the pressure cooker, right? So he had pressure cooked them so much that the bones got super soft. And, you know, you could eat the bone marrow and stuff like that, but the bones, that got so. So me and my brother just ate the whole thing. And they was good, too. And he tells that story every single chance he gets. And I just love it because that's something that I can pass down to my kids now. It's not really, you know, too deep. And that's the thing about storytelling and story time. It don't always have to be deep. You just get an understanding of what life was like for people who came before you. And you never know what other conversations that can lead to. Another story that he would tell is. Me and my brother used to fight, right? And a lot of times this story will come up because now me and my brother are really close. I mean, we've always been close. We're Irish twins. We fought like any other kids would fight when we were growing up. But we still have a very, very good relationship. I will say that I'm blessed to have the relationship I do have with my brother. We're Irish twins. We're not even a year apart. So he'll always tell the story and I'll just give you the spark notes on this. But one day, one day, y', all, me and pj. That's my brother's name, pj, we was bickering. We was bickering so much, and I don't even know what we was fighting about, but we was in, like, middle school at the time. At the. At the oldest, we was in middle school. Daddy had came to pick us up from my grandma house. We argued all the way home. He came to pick us up a little bit later. So it was turning night time. And I remember on the ride home, we just bickered the whole way. Now, from My grandma house to our house. It wasn't that long. It's probably like 15 minutes to get home. My daddy ain't say nothing. And in the back of my head, I was like, okay, Daddy. Letting us argue so we can get it all out. We can duke it out in this car. So we get home, me and PJ still arguing all the way to the door into the house. We arguing through the kitchen, and then we get into our living room. Out of nowhere, all the lights go off in the house. Me and pj, y'. All. Me and PJ hug each other, scream, and fall to the ground. Daddy. All we hear from the washroom, which is where the breaker box was at, is him cackling like a hyena. Me and my daddy have a very similar laugh. So when you hear me laugh, just add a little bit of base to it, and that's my daddy laugh. He turned the breaker off because we were arguing so much. And after that, we was quiet for the rest of the night, and we was good to go. But those are two of the stories that he always tells, and I just love hearing them. And even though we've heard them so many times, and now there's family members who will, like, jump in to share parts of the story that is just something that you cannot replicate. Like, that's something that you. You have to be there to experience, and it's just a beautiful thing. So I urge you guys to engage in story time with your family, with your loved ones, with your close friends, because it is. It's just such a dope thing to do. Stories are also a tool for memory and connection. Storytelling can sharpen your memory, your attention, and even your language skills. Have you ever asked a person to tell a story and they can't get through it? Exercising that muscle of just recall and response to whatever has been going on or whatever you're talking about can help you so much in that regard as well, and it also helps us feel connected across generations. Like I said, there are some stories that I'm starting to hear more of from when my grandparents were little. Here's the other part about my family. I'm super blessed because I still have one great grandma in my life, and I just lost one of my great grandmas a couple of years ago, Grandma Willie Mae, that you guys have heard about a lot on the podcast. And I'm so blessed because my great grandma Lily, who is still alive, she still has siblings that are alive as well. And being able to. To see them interact with one another is A huge blessing, y'. All. And I am able to then document their life. Even as I'm 31 years old, I get to see how they act towards each other, and they're all. They all. You know, for the. For the most part, everybody gets along. My great. My grandma Gloria still has her siblings as well, and also my pawpaw has. They both have a lot of siblings. So being able to see them interact with their siblings and see that history still being made through my eyes and seeing it through my lens from my perspective, it's all I need to do my due diligence to make sure that I'm writing stuff down and taking mental notes and all of that stuff, because I will be able to then share that with my kids. They kids and they kids. Right. So all of that keeps us connected across generations. And I just think this isn't something that we talk about enough, especially since a lot of us move away from home super early. Like me, I've been. I done moved away from home. I've been living away from home since I was 17 years old. And that's why when I go home now, it is such a treat to spend time with the older people in my family and just be. Just be in their presence and hear what they have to say. I just want to continue to do my due diligence. And that's why I wanted to do this episode today, because it's something that's seemingly so small, but we don't talk about it enough, or at least I don't hear people talking about it enough. So I wanted to make sure that I was talking about it a little bit. I also love how, as a Southern woman and being, like, growing up in the South, I say this all the time with my friend Alexis. Don't nobody tell a story like somebody from the South. We are so colorful with our language. We are so funny. The comedic timing is there. The way that we structure our sentences and the way that we tell the story is just unmatched from anywhere else. And that's the best way that I can say it. I just need you to come and sit down and listen to my Uncle Bubba tell a story. Listen to my Uncle James tell a story. Right. Like you, I can't even articulate the way that they tell stories, and it's in a way that you will not forget. And sometimes I get complimented on the way that I tell stories. They're so entertaining, and it's fun, and it's easy to remember. I get complimented on that, too. And for a Long time. I was just like, well, I'm just telling the story. And then I realized a lot of that has to do with the way that I grew up and the way that stories had been told around me. And I just always love that we always, we exaggerate certain things that we know will be funny or things that we want to highlight. And the rhythm and the cadence of when we tell the stories, it's just so dope. I, I say as Southern black people, but black people as a whole, the way we tell stories, like, I'll give you an example, y' all already know this goes around social media all the time. But the way that we compliment somebody, okay, Red jeans, everybody, don't do that. And that's what I mean with the storytelling aspect of it. And it's just a way that we connect, a way that we continually pass down things. I just, I just absolutely love it, y'. All. So stories are also a vessel for teaching lessons without it feeling like a lecture. Like I said, I'm always in so much awe when I hear stories about my parents or my grandparents or like their siblings, their parents. I shared this in our episode with Taylor Cassidy. If you have not listened to that two part episode, go ahead. And if you have not ordered her book, go ahead and order her book. Okay. Because we talked about that on episode. So what I was saying was I'm always in awe of hearing new things. I think we're at risk of losing a part of our culture if we don't actively tell and record all of these stories. Just even things like passing down culture or recipes or traditions and life hacks through oral history are super important. I think one of the greatest things that I'm glad that I did subconsciously, but also because I'm from the south, it was automatically going to happen. But one of the things that I'm grateful that I did was I was in the kitchen with my great grandma Willie Mae when she was making pies. So I have seen her make buttermilk pie. I have seen her make white potato pie. I have seen her make sweet potato pie. And as you guys know, the white potato pie went viral and it might go viral again. We back at the holiday season, so it might go viral again. But I'm just so excited that I have that within me, even though she isn't here anymore. And like I've said in the past, now it's on me to make these pies. And I'm just so grateful that I had the opportunity to be in the kitchen with the hands that made that recipe that the family now looks at as, like, oh, we gotta have this. This is a staple. This is something that we cannot have the holidays without this pie from Great Grandma Lily Mae. And I love that I was able to do that. I'm in awe too, because, like, I shared. This is where I was going with that about Taylor Cassidy. The Taylor Cassidy episode, like, I shared. Our first integrated prom in St. Francisville, Louisiana, was in 2007. And I got some. We got some comments on that video. Like, oh, my gosh, 2007. That's insane, baby. There are still segregated places in the South. And even though we have progressed so much as a nation, that's why storytelling is still so important, because we are not far removed from slavery. Segregation. Some people are still living in segregated areas. And my grandma, my mama's mama went to a segregated school. She ain't never go to school with no white folk. My papa didn't either. And I think that's why storytelling is so important, because we can lose bits and pieces of that. And especially as we continue to advance as a nation and as a world, as a society, it can feel like all of that stuff was hundreds of years ago. No, baby, it was 2007. How many years is that? I can't even do math. We had our first integrated prom in St. Francisville, Louisiana, in 2007, 18 years ago. That's why it's so important for us to continue to tell stories, you guys, because we never know what we can truly uncover about where we come from and what our role may be in progress. So I have a couple of reflective questions that can possibly help you guys. You know, start the conversation or spark something up at Thanksgiving, at Christmas, whenever you spending time with a lot of family members, what stories do you still remember from your childhood? And why did they stick? Which stories do you find yourself repeating now as an adult? How do these stories shape the way you see yourself and your family? I do want to answer that for myself. I think I see my family as real people who are figuring it out the same way that I am. I think when we are kids and we grow up, we see the adults as all knowing. We see them as already having it figured out. But hearing these stories is like, oh, you lace up your shoes just like I do. Each and every day you go outside and try to accomplish your dreams, just like I do every single day. So I see them as real people now who are just figuring it out just like me. And lastly, how can you do your part to keep these stories alive. It's all so important. Y' all know, over here we're all about finding hobbies that feed you. And one that's been on my to do list lately has been cozying up with an audiobook. If the AFBG book club keeps you busy but you're curious about something different, maybe something thrilling and a little spooky for the season, I recommend checking out Audible right now. I've been curious about The Prophecy Season 2 Kerry Washington. Yes, that Kerry Washington is back as Dr. Virginia Edwards. And when I say this supernatural thriller has piqued my interest just off the first few minutes, baby. And add in that the cast is stacked with talent and I just. I just might be hooked. I heard this new season is wild, y'. All. The fight between good and evil, family drama and those haunting visions that just keep you guessing. It's got action, it's got heart, it's got suspense. And it comes in handy being able to pop it on while I'm cooking, journaling, driving, or while working on another cozy hobby. Evil is rising and time is running out. Do not miss Kerry Washington in Audible's new action packed must listen the prophecy season two. Go to audible.com prophecy2. That's the number two. And start listening today. Every year I like to do a little life reset right before my birthday. I'll deep clean my apartment. I'll set some new goals. And lately I like to do what I like to call a little financial find out. You know, I like to take a look at what's really going on with my money before I head into a new season season. It's my way of checking in with myself, asking me things like how well am I managing my money? And reflecting on times where I meant to move a little something into savings, but I just didn't. I've found out that utilizing Chime's tools can really help make this process a breeze, y'. All. Because with tools like the Chime checking account, you don't have to deal with those sneaky monthly or maintenance fees. If you've got qualifying direct deposit, you can even get fee free overdraft up to 200 on debit card purchases and cash cash withdrawals. That's a game changer for avoiding no surprise charges. Plus, with access to over 47,000 fee free ATMs, you're never really stuck without your money. For me, it's about making sure that my finances aren't another source of stress weighing me down. Amen. Having a safety net and some flexibility, it truly makes a huge difference for your mental health. If you're ready to breathe easier and take your financial audit into a new direction, work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in two minutes@chime.com affirmations. That's chime.com affirmations. Chime feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC Spotney eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file Fees apply at out of network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs. According to US News and World Report 2023 Chime checking account required. So let me ask you guys a couple of serious questions. Do your joints feel older than you? And do you really know what's going on inside of your body? Yeah, me either, y'. All. Now y' all know whenever I go home to Louisiana, family time is everything to me. When we're all together, I'm always so grateful for that quality time. It always reminds me to take care of myself so that I can keep making memories with the people I love for years to come. And I'm ready to get even more serious about that. So I just learned about True Diagnostic and their True Age Truhealth test, y'. All. This ain't nothing like a grade school test, okay? But the more research I do on it, the more I'm interested. Did you know that a single painless finger prick at home can lead you to over 180 personalized insights into your health and how you're aging? On one hand, TruHealth runs tests to look over 100 biomarkers, which is stuff like your vitamin levels and nutrient balance, your immune system, and even stem stuff like gut and cognitive health. On the other hand, True Age goes even deeper, y'. All. Their test shows your biological age, which is the pace of your aging. And it shows how important organs and systems like your heart, your brain, your liver, and your immune system are aging. Which means I'm 30 years old and my biological age could be more than 30 or it can even be less than 30 years years old. And this test will help to show me where I'm at. So this is a full snapshot of how your body's really doing on the inside. And with an easy to read report and personalized recommendations, I honestly feel like this is a tool that can help me actually stay on top of my health and put energy into the right habits where I'm not just guessing all the time. So if you want to dig a little deeper and if you're serious about living healthier and longer, visit truediagnostic.com and use my code affirmations for 20 off your entire order or subscription. That's truediagnostic.com code affirmations for 20% off your future self will. Thank you. I absolutely love a good story. Now my favorite kinds of non fiction stories are the ones like we've been talking about that are passed down within our family and they help me better understand and connect with my loved ones and their experiences living in the Deep South. One thing that I do wish I had done before my great grandma Willie Mae passed away was to get a journal of hers. Sometimes we forget that these people are just somebody's child, somebody's daughter, somebody's son, and they're moving through life just like we are trying to figure it out. So I think journaling can be a huge storytelling asset as we continue to go through life. Because y' all know when we were in like elementary school, middle school, high school and we had to take like history classes, they would share different journal entries from all of these figures that we had to learn about. Why can't we have that for our families, right? Why can't we start that as well? I know there are a few. I've been seeing a lot of like story capturing brands now where it's like you can give your mom a book and it asks her questions and she can write down things or your grandparents or whatever. There's a lot of stuff like that now. And I think they are so important because we don't take the time especially we move so fast now. We don't take the time to sit down and jot something down. And it doesn't have to be like a huge lift. I. I don't like to journal. Often I'll be the first one to say that I can't. It's hard for me to keep a journal, but since I've been doing the Artist's Way, which is a 12 week challenge, we have to do morning pages every morning. And while I was doing my morning pages one day, it reminded me that I do have journals. I would journal like here and there. And I journaled while I was doing a national student exchange program in New Jersey back in 2015. And just going through the little bit of journal entries that I have from that time, I was like, oh, I forgot that happened. Oh wow. That's what I was thinking like at that time of life. Well, girl, 10 years later, look at you now. Like, imagine your kids reading that, your grandkids, your grandkids, kids reading that stuff. I just think it's so dope to keep certain parts of our experience alive and writing them down because you don't know what's going to happen in 50 years. And y' all already know what they say. History repeats itself all the time. I think journaling is definitely a great way to capture that day to day life and moments that would otherwise be forgotten. I also think journaling is a great, obviously it's a great reflective practice and it's a form of self care and is deeply personal because there are times where I just want to kind of brain dump my thoughts and the things that are like worrying me or the things that I'm super excited about. I think those smaller moments are just as important to jot down because it reminds you of where you have been personally if you want to go back and look at your journal in months or years to come. Now, when it comes to recipes, family recipes are also a vessel for those memories. And something that I have been asking my family members more so recently is, what was your favorite meal growing up? I've asked my mom and daddy what was your favorite dessert that your mama cooked for you? And I just love hearing stuff like that because. So my mama mentioned that one of her favorite things that her mama cooked for her or made a dessert that she made was like this, this, this jello dessert. And I can't remember for like the complete thing now, but it had like peaches in it. And it was a jello thing. And I was like, I never had that from Momo. So I called my momo and I was like, momo, my mama said that you used to make this jello dessert that had like peaches in it. Why you ain't never make that for us? And she was like, girl, because I lost the recipe. And I was like, momo, why you don't remember the recipe and why you ain't write it down? And apparently she got that recipe off of the back of something. She can't remember what she got the recipe off of, but it was off the back of a box. As you know, back then, a lot of people were using those recipes. So I'm like, we can find that recipe if you can give me enough information on it. Because it was. My mama was pretty young. My mama is 51 now. If you can give me enough information on it, we can go back in archives and find that recipe and we can make it, and you can. Now we can share it with your kid's kid, right? And it's also something that I can make for my kids whenever they are. God, whenever you allow me to have some kids, whatever you give me, my husband, I can make that as well. And I just think stuff like that is so dope for me, especially since I am a pastry chef. You guys know that I do a lot of food content. Family recipes give me a huge, huge, huge sense of pride. And that's why I. I've mentioned this before, but you guys can actually see it in this episode. That wallpaper above my cabinets, that is all handwritten family recipes. And I got the idea to actually make it into a wallpaper after my grandma had passed away. Like, I need to get these recipes, because at the time, I didn't have. The only recipe of hers I had was the buttermilk pie, because I would make that when I worked at Black Bottom Southern Kitchen. And she knew. She knew about it back then. I used to tell all the time, people would give so many compliments on her pie, but I would make that, and I'll make her sweet potato pie. But then I was like, okay, I need to start making this white potato pie. So it made me go in as everybody else for the recipes that I enjoyed growing up. So now I have a hard copy of them. Now I have digitized it, and now I've also created something in my house that is a conversation starter. When people come over, they're just like, that is such a personal touch. That is the stuff that is important to me, and I've talked about this as well. I feel like I'm my family's historian. Like, I feel like that's my calling in my family, to be the family historian, to make sure that we are gathering all of these things and making it accessible to all of the family lines. Right? Because my family is so big, there's so much just even making my generation and my mama's and my grandparents and then just keeping it together from then, that'll be a gold mine in itself, because they all have so many siblings. My mama got a lot of siblings. My daddy got a few siblings. All of my grandparents got a lot of siblings. That in itself is a huge thing. And I just really want to make sure that I am doing my own part. So now there are also other ways that we can get into storytelling. I know I'm kind of focusing on, like, our personal families and recipes and hearing that stuff, but I know that all of Us don't have the same types of family dynamic, but storytelling as a whole is still very important. So you could also listen to stories like audit from audiobooks, podcasts, listen to oral history from, like, your friends or any loved ones that you do have while you're cooking, commuting, you're doing your chores, all of that type of stuff. I love audiobooks because they are modern day storytelling, and a lot of books will even include a little bit of music. They'll include some character voices, and that just takes it to the next level for me. But family oral histories, like learning lessons, some humor, and some shared values through shared memories are also great. And if you can go back and ask, like, your grandparents, your parents, a story that they used to tell as a child, when you were a child, and see if you still have the same type of feelings about that story as you did when you were growing up. I know when my grandparents will be telling stuff. I'm like, yeah, okay, let me go play this game or let me go color. But now, hearing those stories, I'm on the edge of my seat because I just want to hear everything about it. I just found out, y'. All, I'm gonna tell you this story, and then we're gonna have to move on. I just found out that. So we were talking about how my grandma went to. They all went to. They went to segregated schools, right? So they went to school back before my school actually existed in our small town. Why did I find out that? Before my mama and papa got together, my pawpaw's cousin liked my. He was sweet on my mama. So my papa. See, papa say that this is not true. Well, Momo say it is. Why this man grabbed some brass knuckles and was fighting his cousin, and I forgot what. I think he knocked out his front teeth or something. And my papa got expelled. No, he didn't get expelled. Excuse me? He got suspended. He said he got expelled for gambling, but he only got suspended when he beat his cousin up because he was sweet on my own, y'. All, I love it. I be on the edge of my seat here hearing all of these stories because it's not something that I would think would be happening. Like. And mama was like, well, he wasn't doing what he needed to do. And I'm just like, this is crazy, Papa. Why was you in there fighting these your family over mama? But, hey, I wouldn't be here if y' all ain't fighting. Get it together. So praise God for the fight anyways, y'. All. I just love Hearing all of those stories. And I do also think that story time and storytelling is also an act of self care. So whether it's like through food or through writing or even through listening, it's nourishing your mind and your spirit, and it can also help us feel grounded and connected to something, especially when it's story time with your family. I think it's a great way to preserve identity and culture and joy. And like I said, that these stories specifically are so important because stories being passed down started out as a way to for communities, especially black communities during slavery and segregation, to preserve our history, to preserve our culture and lessons. When written records weren't accessible and were not safe to keep. We had to tell stuff through stories. There's even, like fabrics that story was woven into. Back in the day, oral storytelling became a tool to teach values, share survival strategies, and keep heritage alive across generations. So now I want to ask you guys, which recipes or food traditions tell a story in your family? How could journaling or recording your memories help preserve those stories for future generations? What stories from your childhood do you want to make sure never get lost? And how can you make storytelling a regular and intentional part of your life from day to day, y'? All, Do y' all feel that breeze in the air? The weather is starting to cool down and the days are getting shorter. And I want my apartment to feel like a cozy little retreat, y'. All. That's why Wayfair has been my go to and September is my birthday month, y', all, and I always take the opportunity to pour some extra love into my space. Y' all know how I am. So I just upgraded my kitchen with bar chairs from Wayfair. And let me tell you, y', all, they complement my my new wallpaper so perfectly, and they add the perfect pop of color. Now, every time I walk past, I stop and I smile. It's those small details that pull the whole room together and make it feel like me. That's what I love about Wayfair. It doesn't matter if you're into bold statement pieces, neutrals, or you just want a subtle seasonal touch. They've got a huge curated selection that fits every budget and every vibe, plus free and fast shipping each. Even on the big stuff. My chairs came in two days, and with fall creeping in, I've been inspired to keep layering in cozy touches like candles, throw blankets, and little accent pieces that make my place feel even warmer. So now is the perfect time to cozy fire your space before fall really starts to settle in from warm bedding and autumn throw pillows to espresso machines for that perfect homemade latte. They've got everything you need to make your home feel like a a space that you deserve. So cheers to another year, another cozy refresh, and a little more Wayfair sparkle. Cozify your space with Wayfair's curated collection of easy, affordable fall updates. From comfy recliners to cozy bedding and autumn decor. Find it all for way less@wayfair.com that's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every Home I believe storytelling is bigger than family history, but I also think it is a great place to start to dip your toe in, right? So in this episode I focused on passed down stories, family history, and even recipes. But storytelling is so much, much broader than that. Storytelling is how we communicate, how we create, how we process our experiences in daily life. It's how we connect with each other and for our people. It's especially important to preserve our culture, strengthens our identity and keeps our creativity alive. Like I said back in the day, it wasn't safe to keep a written log of everything that was going on. And that's why oral storytelling was so important. And today, both oral and written storytelling is super important. And I know it's important to me because I personally don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be that family member that doesn't have anything in the history books about them. I don't, you know, like your ancestry and, you know, things like that. I want to make sure that I am doing my part because it is up to us to tell our own stories or our own portion of the story, right? And I think the most practical reason why storytelling is so important is because we live in a digital age. And I mentioned this at the beginning of the episode. We live in a digital age where all we do is scroll all freaking day. We need to get off of social media. I need to get off of social media. Let me call a spade a spade. Long term, long form stories and conversations and journaling engages our minds in ways that TikTok, Instagram, this podcast just does not do. When we consume endless short form content like on TikTok or Reels, our brains get that rapid dopamine hit, which is a quick reward that is going to keep us scrolling and that's why we get addicted to social media, right? But long form storytelling and journaling and meaningful conversations activate our prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that's responsible for attention and planning and reflection and emotional regulation. I have a lot of notes here, so I'm just gonna be looking at my phone for real. So when it comes to our prefrontal cortex, it helps us think critically and reflect on experiences and connect events in a meaningful way. And then we have our hippocampus. I'm pretty sure that's like towards the back of the brain, if I remember science properly, which engaged when we process and remember stories, which strengthens our memory formation. And then we have what's called the default mode network, which is activated during deep reflection or narrative thinking, supporting creativity, self awareness and empathy. So when we shift from mindless scrolling to stories focused activities, we're actually training our brains to focus, to reflect, and to create, rather than just just reacting to those constant 30 second stimuli that are coming in front of our face. It's like giving your mind a full workout instead of just a sugar rush. So storytelling exercises your creativity, your problem solving and your emotional intelligence. And sharing stories can also help to build your empathy for others. It teaches lessons to you without giving you an actual lecture. And it creates meaningful connections with other people, which we definitely need because again, as we continue to look at social media every day, we are, this is the most connected we've ever been, but it's also the most disconnected we have ever been because we are not actually building those relationships with people outside of this thing right here, this digital phone, this that we have that everyone has in their pockets. So I think a great way that you can dive in, especially if you're like, I don't really want to be having these, these conversations with my family and all that stuff. I get it. Host a casual story night. It could be anything. Spoken word, a poetry night, or a poetry themed storytelling. Like maybe it's about travel, some fun dating stories that you have, or some childhood memories. Join a book club like the AFBG Book club, which is always linked down below. You can join, but you can also go to Tyra, the creative.com backslash podcast and you can join our book club, you can join our newsletter, all of that stuff. But we do have a book club and we read two books every single month. You don't have to read the two books, you can pick between the two. Or if you are like a real book person, you can read both of the books that we have picked out for you. But yeah, I also am excited because my, my sorority, I am a Delta. As you guys may know. My chapter is doing a book Club as well. We are reading Waiting to Exhale in October, and that's going to be a great thing, too. So what they are doing is one book for the entire month, and then they're going to have a movie night afterwards. So if you want to just dip your toe into storytelling in that way, this is also a great way where you are in. You're taking in this information versus you telling the stories yourself. But I think stories create a sense of belonging to and shared experiences even beyond your family. And that's why I think this book, Waiting to Exhale is so great, especially as I'm 31, single, still trying to figure it out, still waiting on that moment to breathe and exhale in certain areas of my life. And as we've been talking about, journaling is a great way to engage in your personal storytelling on a more personal and intimate level so you can really see, like, what's important to you. Right? You can use your journal for that. And then I also want to say that not every story needs to be heavy, but also not every story needs to be funny. Like, you can pick and choose what you want to engage in because there's room for all of that. So sharing those heavier things, but also sharing those fun, quirky or quick moments are also just as powerful. And like I said, the Calm app is something that I absolutely freaking love, y'. All. I've been using it for years. I've been using calm since like 2020. Yeah, I want to say I started using it. So five years. And again, you can get a free trial. I have a free trial link down below. And then you can also sign up for the year. There's a link. There should be a link if you're listening to this when it first goes live, because there's currently sponsoring the show. But yes, I think that is great. I love to turn on a story late at night and it just like. Like we were talking about, it activates your prefrontal cortex and it also gives you. It gives me a sense of joy and it makes me feel very rested when I'm listening to these stories, especially late at night. But there's also some other things that I have in my head that I want to do. I guess I can tell y' all one day I want to write a children's book. I already have my ideas and I've already talked to my mom about it. And I. I don't know when I'm going to do this in my journey, but I want to write a children's book. And Because I think storytelling is so important. It's so important, y'. All. Storytelling is so important. I could just keep going in on that. But anyways, I say all this to say that storytelling is a tool. It is a creative outlet and a way for you to fully step into your own voice and beyond your family history. It practices. It's a practice that nurtures your mental health. It's a practice that nurtures your creativity and connection in our daily lives. Somewhere along the way, storytelling became something that we outgrew, but it's really a lifeline to who we are and where we come from. Sitting with old photo albums, hearing the same stories over and over at family gatherings, or even journaling the small, seemingly ordinary moments. These are the threads that connect generations. And then they're the recipes, the ones that our grandmamas made, the ones passed down like secret codes because they ain't want them to be written down. So many of them get lost when the older generations pass on those flavors, those little techniques, the stories behind every dish. They aren't just food, y'. All. They're history. They are memory, and they are your culture. Storytelling isn't just about remembering the past. It's also about shaping the future, keeping our creativity sharp and giving our minds the space to reflect, to imagine, and to grow. Even the simplest acts, like writing a few lines in a journal, sharing a family recipe, or recounting a childhood memory, are acts of preservation. Those moments ensure that the laughter, the lessons, and the love embedded in our families live on. These moments remind me that culture, humor, and connection aren't lost. They just need to be tended to. And even when life gets busy, story time isn't just for kids. It's for anyone who wants to stay rooted, inspired, and in touch with what truly matters. So the next time you are sitting at a family function while memories are being shared, or sitting on a porch with your grandma or your grandkids, just listen closely, jot down a few notes, or even record a little history. Those moments, as ordinary as they may feel, are gold, y'. All. They are the building blocks. What you capture today, whether it's a labor, a cry, a lesson, or a secret recipe, becomes the treasure your children and their children and their children will hold on to tomorrow. Every story preserved is a piece of legacy and reminder that our voices and our traditions and our creativity matter so much. And that the act of storytelling and the act of telling them keeps us alive in more ways than one. One. Oh, y', all, you know what time it is. It is time for Our fun closing segment and today's closing segment is called Way Back when. We're gonna keep this on Brand for what we've been talking about today. So today I'm gonna talk about a time in my childhood that molded me into who I am today. And I am particularly choosing something that happened very early in my life because I don't tell this story often. Now, I want to tell a very quick story because I don't have much memory of this, but I do have some. I want to tell a very quick memory of my great Grandpa Jim. Now, my papa Jim is my papa Tyrone's daddy. My. So that means that my great grandma Lily that I told y' all about earlier, and my pawpaw Jim had my pawpaw Tyrone, which is my mama's daddy. So just so y' all know, where we at on the family tree. So I was great. I was blessed enough to be able to meet my great. My great grandfather, but he passed away when I was really little. But one memory that I have of him that I absolutely love is. And it's just. It's. You know, it's just bits and pieces there. But when I was little, I want to say about like, 4, 3, 4, 5. Somewhere up in that age had to be like, yeah, yeah, somewhere up in there. Three, three or four. Honestly, we went. I don't know where we went. In my mind, it was right across the street, but I don't know. I don't know where we went, but we went to pick some berries. Now, down in the south, there's something called a dewberry, and they grow on barbed wire fences down where I'm from. So we went out to one of these barbed wire fences, and we picked these dewberries, and we took them back home. We also had some sugar cane in there. I could be mixing memories together as well, but I know that we've also harvested sugar cane down there. I'm from the deep south, sugarcane fields. And so we had some dewberries, and we might have had some sugar cane in there, and we took them home, washed them, put some sugar on there and put them in some water and created this delicious sugary dewberry soup that we just ate. Oh, my mouth is watering. And it was so good. And it just reminded me of. In my mind, it reminded me of summer. But I was very little, so I wasn't really in school. So it feels like what summer feels like in my heart and in my memory. And I want to say that that has shaped me into who I am, because one, I Am blessed to have known my great grandfather, even though it was briefly in life. And I just think that those experiences that I had with him are so rich because of the generational gap there between the two of us. Like my great grandfather. What? Like, that's dope. And we shared a moment where we were harvesting these berries that are native to the South. And I think a lot of those earlier experiences keep me grounded into who I am as a Southern woman. No matter how long I've been living in la like I'm from the south, people be asking me, is LA home, baby? St. Francisville, Louisiana, is home. Let's call a spade a spade, okay? I live in la, and I love living here. But at the root of who I am and at my core, I am a Southern country bumpkin girl. I am tired from St. Francisville, Louisiana, and it ain't gonna. It ain't gonna never gonna change, right? So I want to say that that has definitely helped shape me into who I am. And I still have a green thumb. I still love to make sure that I'm in the garden and I'm harvesting things. I still love to do all of that. So I want to say, from a very young age, I have just been conditioned to be a Southern woman, and I. I love those parts of my roots. Now, y', all, with that being said, I didn't kept y' all a little bit too long today. I really hope that this had. This episode has planted a seed and inspired you to ask questions to people that you love and start jotting down your history. Because I was about to say black history is your history. But that's Taylor's book, mind you. Go and get the book. Okay? Don't play. Go and get her book. But, yes, this history is your history. And keeping record of that can be a gold mine for those that come after you. And like I said, I don't want to be forgotten. Do you want to be forgotten, baby? Write down something. It don't have to be a lie. Write down something. Take pictures. Make sure that you are taking note. I always get on my mama because she's like, I don't like taking pictures, baby. I'm taking pictures of you. I don't care if you don't like taking pictures. We gonna have documentation of who Gloria White is, okay? I'm gonna have video of who my grandma is so I can share that with my kids and they kids and they kids. If the Lord said, you know, so I just think that storytelling is so important and also story time, listening to those stories and downlo downloading what the older generations have to say, Even your cousins. Like, I have a lot of cousins sitting down and having conversations with them in their lives and seeing what they're doing with their lives. Because what's crazy about it all is at some point they are going to be the matriarch or the patriarch of their family tree. Like our families, our trees can be so elaborate. So. So I think it's just. It's just mind boggling to me. And this is something that I care deeply about and I just wanted to share with you guys. So I really hope that it has inspired you to tell a story or listen to a story. And with that being said, y', all, I'm gonna go ahead and get up out of here. I'm gonna let you go. Thank you so much for listening. If you are not already subscribed to our YouTube channel, go ahead and go over to YouTube and hit that subscribe button because we have a lot of fun video episodes coming for you guys if you are listening on YouTube or watching on YouTube. Hey, thank you so much for watching. And if you have not already rated the podcast, please leave us a rating and a review. We trying to be apple top 100. We trying to be apple top 10. Okay. I am trying to really go grow this thing, but I'm so glad that you guys enjoy my podcast. I'm so glad that you get something from it every single week. And with that being said, I'm gonna see y' all again soon. I'm gonna see y' all actually for Pep Talk Wednesday. See y'. All. But thank you so much for listening. This is affirmations for black girls.
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If you're a podcast host. Listen up. This one's for you. My name is Allie Jackson. I'm the host of Finding Mr. Height, a dating and relationship podcast that I've been doing for four years now, sharing my positive and practical approach to dating that's built on my own life experience. And I wanted to share another experience that I've had, my secret behind monetizing my show. It's called Red Circle. And I was just telling my colleague about how much I love their platform. With Red Circle, not only am I getting a seamless hosting experience, but I also love the support I receive in ads sales. It's not just typical ad sales either. It's targeted opportunities based on my show and my life. And the platform is super simple. You just set your preferences and Red Circle matches you with sponsors that align with your show. You can vet every opportunity and their platform gives you great analytics. More recently too, my Red Circle team has brought me opportunities outside of my podcast on social media to really augment the podcast partnerships. Bring them full circle. I just can't recommend them enough. If you want to give it a try, go to redcircle.com to get your free trial. That's redcircle.com for a free trial.