← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
438 | We Are Not Trees, Girl MOVE! Stop Staying Put. It’s Time to Uproot and Find Freedom Beyond Your Comfort Zone | Pep Talk Wednesdays
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Why is it that as we get older, it feels harder and harder to get our bodies to cooperate? We're out here trying everything, measuring this, avoiding that, eating the yogurts, drinking those sodas and still not feeling like we've cracked the code. But what if the answer was simpler than we've been making it? Scientists now say the gut is the cornerstone of our health. It affects everything. Our energy, our mood, our sleep, even how we manage our weight. As women who just want to feel our best. I'm happy to say that Bioma takes the guesswork out of gut health with just two little capsules before breakfast. No fuss, no overwhelm, just the good stuff. Your body needs prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics all working together to help you finally feel imbalanced. And that's backed by science, baby. So if you're curious and ready to take the guesswork out of feeling your best, visit gobioma.com affirmations today y'. All. I'm so serious. I want us all walking into this next season feeling strong, clear and taken care of from the inside out. So again, visit gobioma.com affirmations today. That's G-O-B-I-O-M A.com affirmations Can I let y' all in on a little secret that you probably already know? I love giving a good gift, and honestly, it's for selfish reasons. But it's because I get excited when I find a gift that feels super personal and perfect for the person that I'm giving it to. Because one thing's for sure, I'm not about to show up empty handed or with something basic. Now let me refresh Yalls Memory on Uncommon Goods before the holiday season because their site is packed with unique gifts that you won't see anywhere else. I love planning ahead, so of course I started bookmarking some things that you'd never find in a regular store. But what really stopped me in my tracks this time while I was perusing the site was the fact that Uncommon Goods has experiences you can gift, y'. All. I'm talking classes, cooking workshops, crafting tastings, and all kinds of creative adventures. That's not just a gift, it's also a memory. Uncommon Goods has something for everybody. From moms and dads to kids and teenagers, from book lovers to history buffs and die hard football fans to foodies and avid gardeners, y'. All. You'll find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else, quite literally. Plus, every time you shop, you're supporting independent artists and small businesses, and they even give back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice. So shop early, have fun, and cross some names off your list today. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com affirmations that's UncommonGoods.com affirmations for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer uncommon goods we're all out of the ordinary. If there were no rules, no stipulations, and money was not a factor, where do you think you would want to live? Would you move away from home? Would you stay put exactly where you are now? Would you move one town over? Maybe you'd actually go to that out of state college that you have always dreamed of going to, or just anywhere to get a fresh start? A lot of us tend to tell ourselves that the timing isn't right or that stability is more important than our happiness. Or we have to really plan it out to a T before we make a move. But a realization that I recently came to was we are not trees. We are not meant to stay rooted in the same soil forever. And maybe the question isn't what if it doesn't work out? Maybe the question is what if it finally does? Sometimes the only thing standing between you and your next chapter is the belief that you have to deserve movement before you make it. And for all of the time that you have left on this earth, you you have got a question. If wanting to stay put is all that's really holding you back. What is up beautiful people? Welcome back to another pep talk. Wednesday I am tired. The creative, your host and virtual cheerleader for the day, delivering a midweek picnic me up that you have been craving. So get ready for some encouraging words and a dose of inspiration to brighten your day. Ready? Okay. For such a long time, I would always just go with the flow of life. I would never really think about long term. What does Tyra want? And something that I realized after I started going through all of the things that I have been doing in my life and the places that I've lived, I realized that just because you are planted or because you have planted yourself somewhere does not mean that you have to bloom there forever. You have a choice. Whether or not you want to stay at home, whether or not you want to move away and give something else a try, you have a choice. No matter how out there or how far fetched or how impossible it may seem, you have a choice in where you live. Growing up, I grew up in a very, very small town, St. Francisville, Louisiana. Right. I grew up in a place where a lot of people don't really tend to move away. A lot of people will stay there for the entirety of their lives and be content with that, which totally fine. I am so grateful that my grandparents and my mama and my daddy, their separate parents and my extended family, I'm so glad that they are all in one spot so that I can come home and visit everybody. I am grateful for that and there is a place for that. But as someone who wanted to do something different with their life, as someone who wanted to travel a road that is less traveled some, a road that doesn't really have a point A to point B to point C to point Z, plan. I had to make a decision. I grew up in a town that was population 1500 people. I know in a previous episode, I said that St. Francisville had like 3,000, 4,000 people. I actually looked it up again and I was looking at the entire parish, but my town specifically was population 1500 when I was growing up there. And there was nothing there for me as far as my career goes. So I had to make a decision when I graduated from high school as valedictorian of my class, by the way, with all of these dreams and plans, I said, you know what? I am afraid to go to Juilliard, which I got accepted into on scholarship. And I don't want to live. I don't want to be too far away from home. Let me just go to North Louisiana to dip my feet in something new. When I got to North Louisiana, I went to Northwestern State University. Go Demons. And I loved it. My first semester, I was introduced to, I did Scholars College. And I was introduced to a professor that introduced us to the exchange program, the student exchange program. And I said, you know what? That would be pretty dope. Because I had turned down Juilliard. I had turned down a school, amda. It's not even like a university, but I turned down amda I turned down all these other places that I got accepted to on scholarship to go to Northwestern on a full ride because I could drive home every weekend. But it's funny that the first semester that I'm in college, I am presented with the opportunity to do an exchange program. So me and my best friend Bria decided to do it. She did the international one because she is a rock star and she is not scared of nothing. And I, as a little scaredy cat, only did the national Student Exchange program. And I decided to go to New York. Well, as close as I could get to New York. And I ended up in New Jersey at William Patterson University. Best decision I ever made in my life. But I do think that was a seed that was planted or that was just divine intervention. Because I got accepted into a school in New York that I really, really wanted to go to. But I was afraid. I was very close minded. I didn't know anything outside of St. Francisville, Louisiana, population 1500 people. And an opportunity presented itself for me to leave and go somewhere bigger. Now I was terrified and I actually had to apply early. And I didn't go until junior year. And I took my best friend Tracy with me. We went out there together. But I am saying that even if it seems unattainable, even if it seems scary, even if it seems like something that you should not be doing. Something that, like I went to Northwestern on a full ride. I was like, this is the plan, right? I ended up doing the national student exchange program because of divine interventions. God said, I'm gonna get you out of the South. I need you to experience other things. So just because you are planted somewhere doesn't mean you have to bloom there forever. I think a lot of times we confuse our comfort with our calling, right? Some people also can equate moving around a lot with being unstable. But I want to pose the question, what if you aren't happy? Or what if you have outgrown the place that you have been in? We are sold the idea that stability outweighs everything else in life. Even if our true needs and desires are being sacrificed. And sometimes, which I have come, me and my brother talk about this all the time. Sometimes I think we come across people who have brainwashed themselves into believing that they don't want something, that they don't want a new experience, that they don't want a new environment, that they don't have a bigger dream. And what that brainwashing is that we're talking about, there is cognitive dissonance. It's that weird mental tension that we feel when what we want doesn't line up with what we believe we can have. Our brains hate discomfort. So instead of us pushing, we're human, we're animals, right? We always want to keep ourselves safe so that discomfort means we're unsafe. So instead of pushing ourself forward, we can tell ourselves stories that make not having something feel okay. Like, oh, I ain't really want it anyway, or oh, that was gonna cost me X, Y and Z. So it's okay. But that's just Self protection. And once we start to recognize it, we can call it out. And we can start letting ourselves want things. Things again. Even when they feel so out of reach to us deep down. It's not that we don't want it. It's that we are afraid. It's that we are scared, uncomfortable. We are afraid of the unknown. We are afraid of losing control. We are afraid that if we move, everything we built might fall apart. We might miss out on something. But the truth is, we are never really in control. And the best thing that we can do for ourselves is explore the depths of our hearts, our hopes, our dreams, our curiosities. That's where real direction comes from. Moving to a new place could mean trying a new city or a new neighborhood. Changing up your morning routine, leaving the job that has stunted your creativity, Letting go of a friendship that maybe you didn't have since middle school, elementary school, whatever that is no longer reciprocal or that y' all are no longer on the in the same season of life or think the same. Our brains thrive on new challenges and new environments. And if we are constantly staying in our same environment, same place, not doing anything new, how are we challenging our brains? How are we growing? So this basically means that your brain can rewire itself at any time, right? So every time you try something new, imagine a better version of your life or speak an affirmation out loud. You are training your brain to see new possibilities. And change isn't just an emotional thing, right? It all. It's also physical. And a lot of times it starts in the physical, like going to a new place. You can build new thought patterns the same way that you would build a muscle, one intentional move at a time. And there are also studies that show novelty boosts dopamine and motivation. It helps combat burnout and stagnation, which so many of us feel like we have plateau. We are stagnant in life. It is an important thing because a lot of us as black women, we are navigating chronic stress. And I think a lot of that comes from us not putting ourselves in a position where we can have neuroplasticity, where our brains are constantly being fed those challenging things or those new experiences. And I say all of this to say one of the easiest ways for me to make sure that I am having a life that I love is to constantly put myself in position to experience new things. And a big way that I have done that in the past is moving around. I have. I know a lot of us, we either stay at home forever or we move away from home, and then we bounce back and forth, and then there's the whole stability thing that we. We touched on. But you are not a tree. I'm talking to those of you who. Or, like, I might want to do this thing, or I thought about it, but I just don't know how it can happen. I just don't have no money to move to la. I just don't have no money to move to. Blah, blah, blah. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. You can find a way. And doing those things, like exposing yourself to new experiences, truly opens your mind so you can see the possibilities. I can't stress it enough. Whenever you want to do something in life, it is so important to physically put yourself in new experiences. Even in your own backyard, put yourself in new experiences so you can see the possibilities. We don't think that. Oh, well, I don't see it, so it can't be seen. That is not the case at all. If you want to experience something new in life that you don't necessarily know, you can experience at home or wherever you are living now, take this as your sign to go ahead and. And uproot and move, even if it's just for a little while, right? I tell my cousins this all the time. Like, move away. Give it a try. We're not saying that you have to stay there forever. Wherever it is that you are. Give it a try. I said, okay, I'm gonna go to college here. Did the National Student Exchange Program. Loved Jersey. Also fell in love with a boy. Then I was like, okay, I'm gonna move back out there, go to culinary school. I'm so glad that I did that. I gave it a try. I said, you know what? I can always go back home. I always have a safety net at home. So I'm going to go and try the things so that I don't live in the space of, well, what if. What if I would have did this? What if I. No, I'm doing it right. And I'm not saying that there's a right or a wrong thing. I'm just saying if you have a desire in your heart to do something, you should honor yourself in that way and give it a try. Okay, y', all, picture this. A candle is lit, your favorite book, and a story that sweeps you completely away. Suddenly, you're at a lavish Regency house party, surrounded by corsets, champagne, and secrets. And somehow you've caught the eye of not only one, not two, but three. Three very eligible men. Now, what's a girl to do. If that sounds like your kind of chaos, baby, you need to grab His Grace the Duke by New York Times bestselling author Emily Rath, who is also known for the Second Son series. Okay, so boom. This book follows Rosalie, someone who is rewriting the rules of high society for herself. It's smart, sexy, and gives you all the emotional payoff. Re releasing with a gorgeous new cover, this deluxe limited edition printing is a stunna. We're talking stenciled edges, exclusive character art, and elegant design elements that'll make it the crown jewel of your bookshelf. Available while supplies last. And y', all, I got mine and baby, I'm keeping it front and center. Okay, now it officially goes on sale on October 28, 2025, so this is your sign to add it to your fall reading list right now. So if you've been wanting to mix up your reading routine and dive into a new genre that feels rich and romantic, do not sleep on this book. Especially with the series getting a stunning new set of covers with limited edition sprayed edges and character art. His Grace the Duke is on sale October 28th and is available for pre order and purchase wherever books are sold. Okay, so the holidays are literally knocking at our doors. We only have about T minus five days before Mariah Carey thaws out. Okay, now the holidays mean two things. Great soul food and for girls like me who are single, 30, and live far, far away from home, aggressive questions. When you get married, did you get that new job yet? Wait, you still paying how much for rent? Like, golly, y', all, can I finish my plate of macaroni and cheese in peace? But listen, this year we not just pulling up with a puck on pie. We're pulling up with a plan. Okay, so I've been doing a little financial reset with Chime because I deserve to feel proud of the money moves that I'm making, even if it's one step at a time. With a chime checking account, you get fee free overdraft up to $200. With Spot Me, get your paycheck up to two days early with direct deposit, no monthly fees, no minimum balance fees, and no overdraft fees. Period. Chime is truly for the everyday girly trying to build stability and celebrate progress over perfection. The holiday season can be stressful enough, y'. All. Your bank shouldn't add to that. Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in two minutes at chime.com affirmations. That's chime.com affirmations. Chime feels like Progress, Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC Spotney eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file Fees apply. And out of network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs. According to U. S News and World Report, 2023 Chime checking account required. So let me ask you guys a couple of serious questions. Do your joints feel older than you do? And do you really know what's going on inside of your body? Yeah, me either, y'. All. Now, y' all know whenever I go home to Louisiana, family time is everything to me. When we're all together, I'm always so grateful for that quality time. It always reminds me to take care of myself so that I can keep making memories with the people I love for years to come. And I'm ready to get even more serious about that. So I just learned about True Diagnostic and their True Age plus True Health test, y'. All. This ain't nothing like a grade school test, okay? But the more research I do on it, the more I'm interested. Did you know that a single painless finger prick at home can lead you to over 180 personalized insights into your health and how you're aging? On one hand, Tru Health runs tests to look over 100 biomarkers, which is stuff like your vitamin levels and nutrient balance, your immune system, and even stuff like gut and cognitive health. On the other hand, True Age goes even deeper, y'. All. Their test shows your biological age, which is the pace of your aging. And it shows how important organs and systems like your heart, your brain, your liver, and your immune system are aging. Which means I'm 30 years old, and my biological age could be more than 30, or it can even be less than 30 years old. And this test will help to show me where I'm at. So this is a full snapshot of how your body's really doing on the inside. And with an easy to read report and personalized recommendations, I honestly feel like this is a tool that can help me actually stay on top of my health and put energy into the right habits where I'm not just guessing all the time. So if you want to dig a little deeper and if you're serious about living healthier and longer, visit truediagnostic.com and use my code affirmations for 20% off your entire order or subscription. That's true diagnostic.com code affirmations for 20% off YOUR future self will thank you. When you decide to uproot and move to a new place, you are not abandoning who you are. You are giving yourself better conditions or new conditions to thrive in. As black women, we deserve so much more than survival, y'. All. We deserve environments that nurture joy. And there is so much social conditioning, especially for us. Many of us were taught to be grateful, to be practical, to be strong, to deal with what you have, to not ask for too much or to make any waves. That mindset can quickly shrink our dreams over time, and it can shrink our softness, and it can shrink our ability to actually rest. Right? So there is a growing trend of black women that are relocating online. You'll see people, people like black women in luxury or soft life or black women who travel moving physically or mentally towards peace and possibility. And it isn't about running away. I see a lot of discourse about, oh, they just running away from their problems. No, it's about rerouting intentionally. Right? So there is a woman on TikTok who moved abroad to find peace and find community. There's actually a ton of them. Actually, I don't even want to just talk about one. There's so many of us who have found peace in, like, just new experiences in all of these other countries. Just to give it a try. I have friends who've left corporate jobs to pursue. Pursue creative paths. And a scenario that comes to mind here is even a flower in a flower bed will bend towards the light. So why are you sitting in a the shade? That flower is literally rooted, and it's trying its damnedest to get to the light. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is pull up your own roots. And like I was saying a little bit earlier, luckily we have neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity means that your brain can rewire itself at any time. So every time you try something new, imagine a better version of your life or speak an affirmation out loud or whatever. You are training your brain to see those new possibilities, Right? So with that, think about the fact that you can be the same you, but a more robust, a more enthusiastic, a more enriched version of yourself in new soil. And you can always go back home. Give it a chance, y'. All. Like, I, I just came from home. And I think that's why this topic has been on my mind, because there are so many people there that when I talk to them, they'll be like, I can't see how you live in la. I just can't see how you do it, you can't see it because you're not putting yourself in a position to open your mind. I grew up in a very small town, like I said, and something that I realized very early on when I eventually moved to Jersey was how close minded I was. And not in a bad way, but there were possibilities that I didn't even see. And I quickly learned that there is so much more out there in the world than St. Francisville, Louisiana. Home will always be home. Let me say that. Home will always be home. But give yourself a fighting chance to live the best version of your life that's possible. And the only way that we can do that is if we take inventory of what we want, what we need, what we got, and then move from there. If you've been thinking about moving to Istanbul, Budapest, Italy, girl, do it. Even if it's for a stint of time. Like, there is always a way, there is always an option. There is always something that you can do. And I know we're specifically talking about moving and this can be a tax thing that does take a little bit of time. But think about the things that you can do right now that are pushing you towards that. Maybe it's watching some movies about Italy, like From Scratch, Watching From Scratch on Netflix, like, that was a very good series. I really think y' all should watch that. Maybe it's you trying a new routine, like we said earlier. Maybe it's you journaling about how you see your life in the future. The biggest thing that I want y' all to take from this is you are not a tree. You are not meant to be rooted in the same exact spot for your entire life. Go out and explore. Go out and see this beautiful green earth that God created. I think it's very important to take in as much of life as we can because home will always be there. And something that has definitely made me, like, on the flip side of all of this, something that has definitely made me say, well, hold on, Tyra, I don't really know is the fact that maybe you're missing out on. If you were to move away, you're missing out on time with family and friends and all of that, yes, that stuff is important. But think about it like this. If you decided to stay wherever you are rooted at for the sake of other people, what is that going to do to you in the long run when those people go off and do their own thing, when those people are, God forbid, no longer here with us and you're still here? Like, what is that gonna do for you? Are you gonna feel like, okay, no, I am glad that I stayed here and didn't do the things that I wanted to do when I was younger. Or are you going to be like, dang, I wish I would have taken that trip. I wish I would have done that thing. I wish I would have tried it out because now I'm too old. Now I'm stuck in this. Now I don't see a way out. Now I have all of these other responsibilities. There's always going to be a reason for you to stay where you're at, but there's always going to be a reason for you to go out and explore the world around you. And I don't know about y', all, but the one thing that I don't really agree with is when people say, not really agree with, that's the wrong thing to say. The one thing that I'm like, nope, we not even get into that about this stuff is when people say, oh, I can't do that because it's expensive. Life is what you make it, so let's make it rock. You feel me? So there's always a way, and I think it's very hard to get into that mindset of there's always a way, and there's always something that can be done to get you from point A to point B. But the easiest thing that you can do is start putting yourself in situations where you are forced to think outside of the box. Situations where you are forced to open your mind and be more open minded, because then you'll be able to see more possibility around you. So y' all know every pep Talk Wednesday has a challenge of the week. This week's challenge, y'. All, I want you guys to uproot yourself just a little bit, right? I want you to try something new that may scare you or it may just excite you. Something that you haven't done. It doesn't have to be like a huge life overhaul. I want it to be something that y' all can really do this week. It could be taking a weekend trip to a city that you never explored before. It can be signing up for a class or a workshop that is totally outside of your comfort zone. It can be reorganizing your living space or trying a new neighborhood coffee shop. Something that gives you excitement, something that is new, something that's for the novelty of it all. It could be reaching out to somebody new for networking, friendship, or mentorship. Somebody that you follow on Instagram and you're just like, I really need to get together with them because we live in the same place. The goal is not to make a permanent change. It is to flex the muscle of curiosity, to remind yourself that staying put is a choice. Let me say that again. Staying put is a choice. It is not a requirement. And after you do this, I want you to journal about how it felt to move, how it felt to try something new, and how it felt to challenge yourself, to challenge the story that you've been telling yourself. And this is a bonus. But I want you guys to share one small unrooting moment on social media and tag us at affirmations of black girls so we can celebrate together. So we can tag you guys or repost you guys on our social media. This is something that I feel very strongly about as a girl who lives away from home. And I know I talk about, like, how hard it is. I'm not saying that it's easy. I'm not saying that once I moved away, all my problems was gone and everything just fell into place. That's not what I'm saying. But I can go to sleep at night every single night, proud of myself for giving my deepest, darkest desires a chance. Staying where you are might feel comfortable, but comfort isn't always the same as your peace. Every time you challenge your environment, you challenge your limits. So if something in your life feels too small for you right now, maybe it's because it is. You're not betraying your roots by wanting to grow, by wanting to explore, by wanting to experience something new. You're honoring them. And growth doesn't always come from doing something huge. If you need inspiration for doing something new or enriching your life in any way, look up women like Evita Robinson, who is the founder of Nomadness Travel Tribe, or Jessica Nabongo. I think that's how you say her name. The first black woman to visit every country. Their stories prove that we can build home wherever we decide to bloom. So whether the move for you is a physical one, a mental one, or spiritual, go where your heart leads you. Give it a try, you guys. Breathe deep. Stretch your roots. And remember that you are not a tree, baby girl. You can move. So that's all I'm going to say. We not trees. We can uproot, and we can reroot elsewhere and put out new roots. But I want to thank you guys so much for listening to this pep talk Wednesday. I really hope it gave you a little pep. And if in the back of your mind, you're like, you know what? I have been wanting to do that thing. That's your challenge of the week. Go ahead and lean into that thing, whatever it may be. So thank you guys so much for listening. I'm gonna go ahead and let y' all get up out of here, because, you know, pep talk Wednesday is supposed to be a little short, and I've been talking for a little minute, honey. But thank you guys so much for listening, and I will see you guys again next week for another episode. This is Affirmations for Black the Girls. Sam.