← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
6 Life Lessons I Learned From All of My Past Romantic Relationships. Leaning Into Reflection and Self Awareness After a Break Up. Rediscovering YOU through Experience. REWIND
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Tyra
AFBG Rewind.
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Healthy relationships are not something I grew up having access to. I've said in the past I didn't have healthy foundational relationships to model my ideas and beliefs of how relationships should look. So I've been on a very long but very rewarding journey over the last 10 or so years, learning, growing, and being redirected as I navigated romantic relationships. What is going on, beautiful people? You are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator and mental health enthusiast. Now, as some of you know, I recently went through a breakup, and I think this is a great time to start talking about what I've learned along the way. Not just from my last romantic relationship, but all of them together. First, I want to say that I'm super grateful for all of my experiences and I have learned so, so much. And I was recently reflecting the other day and I just started to write down some of the lessons I've learned that I will forever apply to my romantic life. And I want to share that with you guys today. But before we get into that, let's jump into our affirmation of the week. This week's affirmation is what is for me, will not miss me. Let's drop in, y'all. If you're able to close your eyes, let's go ahead and get into a comfy spot, close our eyes and be present in a moment. What is for me will not miss me. What is for me, will not miss me. What is for me will not me miss me. What is for me will not miss me. What is for me will not miss me. What is for me will not miss me. What is for me will not miss me. What is for me, will not miss me. Let's say it one last time together and really envision what that looks like, what that feels like to know what is for me will not miss me. You guys. Okay, I just wanted to keep the affirmation of this week straight to the point because throughout this episode, we just gonna get straight to the point. Okay? I'm here to tell you what is for you will never, ever miss you. And after my breakup, I or after any breakup, honestly, I typically feel like I messed up or I failed. But one thing that I realized is that if the man was for me, if he was the man that God ordained for me to be with, we would still be together. And just because we are no longer together does not mean, I failed. And this is something that I have been saying to myself on a regular basis because it's something that I really need to believe in my heart. Every experience is either a blessing or a lesson or both. Honestly, I think everything is a blessing and a lesson. Amen. So all of my romantic relationships that have come to an end, that have run their course, have been both blessings and lessons. And it truly just took a mindset change to reach that conclusion. So if you are listening to this podcast and you are going through a breakup, or you went through a breakup and you felt like you failed and you're struggling to see the point, point. Like what was the point of your last relationship? Just sit and reflect. I'm sure you'll find out that you did learn something about yourself or something that you didn't want to deal with anymore, something that you wanted more that was not in your last situation. I guarantee you, if you sit and reflect long enough, you will learn something about yourself through that last relationship. Okay, guys, so today's episode is just gonna be a little chit chat. You know, I like to keep it real raw and regular. So I just took a couple of notes. I really just wrote down the things that I wanted to share with you guys that I learned. So how many do I even have? I didn't even count them, Lord. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Six things my past relationships taught me. That's what I'm going to share with you guys today. And if you're asking yourself, like Tyra, how you came up with these things or I can't ever, I can't list what I've learned. I only know this stuff, y'all, because I journal and because I sit and reflect and I really try to dissect the situations because like I said earlier, I didn't grow up with foundational relationships. So I, I kind of went into this dating thing blind. And I, early on I just, I was a yes man, to be honest. If a boy like me, yep, we can go, we can go together. You know, I didn't really have any standards. I didn't have a list of preferences. And over the last 10 or so years, since I had my first boyfriend in high school, I've slowly started to build what my preferences are, what I want in a relationship, what my non negotiables are. And if you're like, oh my gosh, I don't know any of that stuff, you do not have to have it 100% figured out. And if you do think you have it 100% figured out. You can always change what your preferences are. As we learn and grow, sometimes the things we want shift a little bit. So no matter what side of the spectrum you're on, it's okay to change up what you want from time to time and also learn more about what it is that you want through experiences with other people. So the first thing I want to. I want to actually catch you guys up. So I have been dating, I was about to say seriously, but not even. I had my first actual, like, boyfriend that my parents knew about in summer of eighth grade, going into ninth grade. And we were together for four, five, six years, y'all. Six years. So all through high school, all four of those years, and then two years of my college career, then I did the National Student Exchange program for a semester. I met a guy and we were together for about that. That whole semester I was there, we were together. So what is that, like six months? And then we broke up when I went back home. So we were together for about eight months, nine months total. So after that, I got another boyfriend when I moved back to New Jersey, which about a year and a half later. And we were together for five years or four and some change. And that is the boyfriend that I moved out to California with. And I recently just got out of a relationship with my most recent boyfriend. We were together for almost a year. And when did we break up? Oh, we broke up in, like, December. So I've really only had four serious relationships, and they're all very different. And for the most part, well, now I'm 50. 50. But I've been in super long term relationships, and I've also been in shorter term relationships. So now that we're all caught up, I'm going to tell you guys six things my past relationships taught me. And the first one is the first thing that my past relationships taught me is to fill your cup first. Now, if y'all like to take notes on my podcast, take some notes, please. Because I think that all of these things that I learned in my past relationships, they can be applied to everybody who's listening, whether you're female, male, whatever, anybody listening these, these things can apply to. So fill your cup first. I think this is one of the biggest things that I learned in relationship that I should be doing. And when I realized this is when I was with my boyfriend that I moved out to Los Angeles with, I started to kind of mesh into his life. And I was always worried about him. Now, the reason I was always worried about him is because we Moved out here together. So I felt a sense of responsibility for his well being. And we lived together, so his well being directly affected mine. So it just became this codependent type of relationship. And I always something that he would always say, is your success is my success. And I really took that to heart and I was like, okay, well, regardless of how it looks on the outside, Tyra, you have to be there for this man. Y'all are living together, all of this, all this stuff, y'all. But what I realized is that I cannot give from an empty cup. I cannot worry about myself if I'm spending all my time worrying about this man. I cannot worry about his success if I'm not worried about my own success. And I only attributed that to other relationships and other aspects of my life. So I attributed his success was my success, but I didn't necessarily do that in other aspects of my life. Does that make sense? But anyways, I. I was always worried about him succeeding. Like it became the priority versus Tyra being her own priority. And that just ain't cool. And another portion of it was why I think I was in this relationship with the boyfriend that I moved out to California with is because I 100% dated this man's potential. I was like, well, one day he's going to be this, he's going to be that. He's saying he has all of these hopes and dreams. I'm telling y'all now, do not date anybody's potential. You need to date that person with as they are right now. Think to yourself, if this person never change, if this person never grows, if this person always stays the same, keeps the same mindset, the same work ethic, this, the same beliefs about relationships, the same outlook on life, will I be happy with this person for the rest of my life? That's what you need to ask yourself. Because if I would have asked myself that in that relationship, we would have never made it to California. But also that's why I say everything is a blessing and a lesson. Because he pushed me to move to California, I was pushing my trip back. Fun fact. So I am grateful for that relationship. But I was 100% dating his potential. And because I was creating this idea of him in my head, I wasn't worried about filling my own cup. I was like, well, I'm going to put in all of these work hours now on this relationship and then it'll be fine in the future. And that is one of the worst things that you could possibly do. Other than that, when I say fill Your cup first. In that same relationship, I didn't really do for myself. I started. I was like, okay, we're in this thing together, and I kind of just let him take the lead on the things that we would do, and I would really want to, like, bond and spend time. So I was like, okay, well, he don't really want to do X, y, and Z. We're gonna go and do things that he likes to do. So I was constantly giving in that way, and I wasn't doing the things that Tyra loved to do. So if you are wondering how you can fill your cup in a relationship, what are you interested in? What? Who were you before this relationship? What types of things did you like to do? You are still an individual even when you're in relationship with another person. And that's what makes relationships work. That's what drew that person to you, you being who you were. So I think it's very important to make sure that you continue doing things with your friends. You continue spending time with yourself, you continue doing all of these things that make you you even when you're in relationship. And you'll be able to spend time creating your own individuality and maintaining your own individuality. And you'll also have time to miss your partner. You'll have things to talk about when you come together for dinner. How was your day? What did you do? You know, that sort of thing. So for me now, or even in my last relationship, that's something that was at the forefront of my mind to make sure that I was constantly filling my own cup, because I feel like I had more of a tendency to not fill my cup. So it was top of mind for me in my last relationship. Tyra, make sure that you remain an individual. So I was still workout. I did my hobbies, and I just remembered that I am my home person without this man attached to me. So what can that look like for you, girl? Go work out. Go on that hike. Go to brunch with your friends. Take a trip with your friends. Okay. What hobbies do you have that is so important? And now that I'm not in a relationship, that is my main priority, to make sure that I am always filling my cup. And I know I talk about this all the time now, but, y'all, I've really started creating a community out here. Like, I'm just so excited with the community that I am cultivating. And one of my favorite things to do now is go to the gym. And I know I talk about that so much. It's more than just working out, it's. It's a lifestyle for me. So I do boxing and y'all, I'm up to five days a week going to boxing and I just recently started going on Saturdays and I'm like, oh my gosh, I really love the energy on Saturdays. I meet so many different people that I don't see during the week. And it's just the camaraderie is just so great. And one thing that y'all probably like, okay, Tyra, you go five times a week, I'm not gonna play with you. But one thing that keeps me going with like going to boxing and making sure that I have enough energy to actually perform throughout the day for all my work is making sure that I am taking my vitamins and supplements.
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Tyra
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The second thing that I learned from my past relationships. Oh, and this one has stuck with me, y'all, is you are responsible for your own closure. Now, this came about when I was living in New Jersey. I had finished college, and I moved back to Jersey for a boy. And we had already broken up, but in my mind, I was gonna marry this man like y'all. I don't know. I don't know why my faith was so strong in this, but I really thought I was gonna marry this man. And we never ended up getting back together. And I was just so sad for such a long time. And one day, I was sitting in my apartment in Jersey, South Jersey, and my line sister called me. I'm a Delta, if you guys don't know. I'm a part of Delta Sigma Theta sorority Incorporated, so we have line sisters. So my sorority sister called me, and I was just feeling a little down, so we just started to talk. And I will never forget what she said to me. So I was just telling her, you know, I'm sad. I don't have any closure from this. I just feel like I'm waiting on him to come back. Like, he hasn't said anything to me, all of this stuff, you know? And at this time, I'm probably 22 years old. She said to me, you don't need closure from him. Think about it like this. You wanting closure from someone else is like you staring at your front door, sitting wide open, and waiting on somebody to walk up to your front door and close it for you. And when she said this to me, I was sitting in my living room, and I started to look at my front door, and I started to envision just how wild that actually is. And that has convicted me till this day. Your closure is your responsibility, nobody else's. Our peace of mind and ability to move on should never be in someone else's hands. We tend to need some kind of closure when there has been an end to a significant piece of our life. But you are 100% in control of that. And here's the thing. You may say, okay, but if they don't say anything to me, how can I get closure? That is your closure. They don't deem it necessary to talk to you. No answer is an answer. Silence is an answer. And that's something that I've had to wrap my head around. But I will never forget when my line sister India told me this. It has changed my life forever. Because I did not know that that's what closure was. I was waiting to have a closing conversation with this man when, honestly, he don't owe me that. If you're being completely honest, he don't owe me anything. Nobody owes you closure. Nobody owes you a conversation because everybody got their own stuff going on. You know, you don't. You never know what demons these people are fighting. You never know what they got going on in. In their mind or in their actual life. And it may just be a situation where it's too overwhelming for them or it's triggering from. For them, whatever the case may be. And that also doesn't matter for you. Like, don't take what I'm saying about their life and say, okay, well, I might, you know, give it some more time. No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is there are reasons that people don't want to have a. A conversation for closure, but that ain't none of your business. It is your responsibility to close that chapter of your life. It is your responsibility to give yourself closure. It is your responsibility to say, okay, no answer is an answer. Okay, I understand. Okay, I see that this is over. Okay. Moving on to the next. That's 100% in your ballpark. And moving on to number three. I learned that it's okay to lean into your femininity and let your guard down. Now, remember the relationship that I was telling y'all about when I moved out here to la. So one of the biggest things. Let me set the scene for y'all who don't know. So that boyfriend was like 5 foot 7. He was very skinny, and I was. I'm bigger than him, so I'm taller. And I'm also. I'm a thick girl. So just from physicality alone, I felt like I was more so the man. Because in my head, like, the man is supposed to be like, you know, bigger than you. All of that, you know, all of that stuff that don't really matter. I still have those type of beliefs in my head, but I also want to feel safe, right? And in my last relationship, I. I always say this. I'm going to just be real raw and regular. I wore. I wore the pants. I wore the pants in the relationship. And it wasn't by choice. I didn't say, hey, I want to wear the Pants. And we didn't have a conversation saying, okay, you're going to wear the pants. We didn't have that conversation. It just kind of happened that way. And some of the reasons why it happened that way. When we moved out to California, the lease was in my name. I paid the deposit on the apartment. I paid the rent most of the months until he started making enough money to be able to pay half of the rent. And it kind of just kept trickling over in that way. I kind of felt like I was taking care of this man. And obviously it takes two to tango. So it was partially my fault that I was allowing this stuff to happen. But that started to make me feel more masculine. That started to make me feel like I needed to live in my masculine. And this was subconscious. I wasn't saying this outwardly, but I remember one day after we stopped living together, but we were still together, he was over at my apartment and he said to me that, I think you're too masculine. I think you should be a little more soft, a little more feminine. And I took offense to that when he said it, because I was like, how am I not feminine? I'm a woman. And after reflecting on that situation, here's the thing. There has to be space and opportunity for a woman to lean into her femininity. Because one thing about us, if we need to lean into our masculine to take care of stuff, we gonna do it. So I never got the opportunity to have this conversation with him because we broke up before I started to reflect in this way because I really did take it up to heart. I thought he was saying that I was acting like a man, but what he was saying was, I am pres. I'm more masculine. Masculine presenting in this relationship in terms of I am the provider, I am the leader. I make the decisions in the relationship versus being soft and nurturing and more feminine. And the reason that this was was because obviously I was providing. I was doing all of these things. I was making the decisions and. And whatnot. But I started to refle that after I got out of that relationship. And I was just like, well, I'm gonna be who I gotta be. I'm gonna always get stuff done. Tyra. Gonna always take care of Tyra. And sometimes that meant that means that I'm gonna be a little more masculine. Sometimes that means I'm gonna be wearing the pants. And not. I'm not talking about in relationship. I'm talking about in general. Because every person on this earth has masculine and feminine energy. And it's just like more masculine traits are like, you know, the provider providing support and that sort of thing. Whereas the feminine is more soft and nurturing and non combative type of things if you wanted to have like some words to put around it. But in addition to that, once I got into my most recent relationship, I just felt safe. He really provided me with the space to be feminine. He was more of a leader. And I even said to him one time like this is different, this feels nice. And he was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, I can actually be feminine and soft with you. And I haven't been able to do that in the past. So it was very new for me. So it was this euphoric feeling of being able to be a woman. And that is definitely something that I. That's a non negotiable for me in future relationships. More often than not I want to be able to live in my more feminine energy because it just, it feels nice. And I'm pretty sure that most men like to live in their masculine as well. But the biggest thing is there has to be space for that and that takes both of us. If you as a man are not providing and if you as a man are not living in your masculine, how am I ever going to be able to live in my feminine? I'm going to be on guard and I'm going to make sure that I'm putting up all of the walls and stuff that I need to to keep myself safe. So it was just, it was just an amazing experience to be able to finally see the difference. Okay, I don't have to be so masculine. I can be more on the feminine side and it just, it just felt so good. Now what's the next one, y'all? What we on number four. The fourth thing that I learned is to always reflect. Reflect on your actions. Reflect on their actions. Check ins are necessary now. I started doing this once I started going to therapy, so I didn't really start reflecting until 2019. I used to live in a space where something would happen and then I would just push it to the back of my mind. I didn't want to think about it again. Let's say that I was in a relationship with my boyfriend that I moved out here with and we had a fight or an argument. Okay. Once the argument is over, no matter how bad the argument is, I'm not thinking about that no more and I'm not replaying it in my head in a sense of reflecting on it to make sure that I got my Point across or that we actually solved the problem. Like, I wasn't thinking in that way. And it wasn't until I started going to therapy where when I had to start recounting things to my therapist and we were talking, that I started to realize that I was really suppressing everything. I never took the time to reflect and learn about myself. I never took the time to just sit with myself and just literally play by play, go through things that happen in my life. Not in an overthinking type of way, but just like, okay, Tyra, so this is what just happened. How does that make you feel? How did you feel then? All of those things I never took the time to do until I started going to therapy. And once I started going to therapy and once I started to actually reflect, whether that was writing it in a journal or just sitting to myself and just thinking about what's going on and really unpacking what happened, my therapist started to notice. She started to say, wow, you are growing so much. You're reflecting and all of this. And I was just like, wow, like it really makes a huge difference. It provides you with some insight that you don't have in the moment. And I reflected a lot in my last relationship and sometimes I would say, okay, well this is what just happened, Tyra. What could, what could you have done differently? How did that make you feel? And if it was something that my boyfriend and I at the time had to talk about, I was more equipped to have a full on healthy conversation with him versus just saying, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Because that was my favorite thing, y'all, when I was with my boyfriend before him. I don't know. Why are you asking me? And that's just. That's just not the life that I want to live. So always take a time to reflect, take a beat, think about how you're feeling, check in with yourself and also check in with your partner. I think having check ins with them are super important because it forces you to be present, it forces you to listen, and it forces you to think outside of yourself because they could be having a bad day. Whereas you want to gripe about something that happened at work, but you having a check in with your partner and you see that they've been, well, they've been having a bad, a bad day, a bad week. And then you have that insight to say, okay, I'm not gonna bring up how my co worker aggravated me today because it is honestly not bothering Me, or even vice versa. Like you're able to say, I really been wanting to tell you about this, but it just seems like you've been having such a hard time. How can we make room for both of us to be able to share? Check ins are important with yourself and with your partner. Oh, this is a big one, y'all. The next thing, number five, the fifth thing I learned, y'all write this down. Especially in this day and age, your relationship is your business. You are not obligated to share it with anyone, especially when you are in a fight or having a disagreement. So the biggest thing that I want to say about this is privacy and secrecy are two different things. And in my relationship, when I first moved out to la, I really felt like he was trying to be secretive. Like he didn't want to, you know, post me on his Instagram. Like if we were out together, he would post that he was out, but he wouldn't post that I was with him and that I don't really like that because it wasn't always like that. Let me give you the full story. So it started after we had been out in LA for about two years. He would start to do that. And whereas in the past when we were together, selfies, posting it like it was just normal, so it started to change a little bit. So I felt like he was being secret and he was just saying that it was a privacy thing. And I was like, ah, it don't seem like privacy thing because when you're in these type of situations, you do share these same exact things. So it just don't make no sense because people already know we're together. We've been together for three years. So privacy and secrecy are two totally different things. Don't be in a relationship with nobody that's trying to keep you a secret. Being private. Sure. Secret. No, absolutely not. Because I feel like that's attached to some sort of fear, some sort of embarrassment, something. And we don't have time for that because we are amazing beings. And I know the God, the. The man that God has for me is going to show me off and thank God every day that I am in his life. And I'm gonna do the same. So your relationship is your business. I want to touch on that. I always felt like when my parents would ask about my relationships, I had to give them all of it. Oh, well, this is happening, this is happening, this is. This is happening. And it wasn't until my friend Bria, who is married, she's been on the podcast before it wasn't until she said to me, I don't tell my mama or anyone about a situation until I'm already over it. Like a situation between her and her husband until she has already dealt with it. And I was like, why? And in my head, I was like, why? And what I came to the realization of is that if you let people in when you're in a vulnerable state, you are more likely to let their thoughts and opinions sway you one way or the other, especially if it's someone that you love because you value their opinion. But in the case of a relationship, they're speaking from a place of not being in love with this person. They're speaking from a place of loving you. And if you're having some sort of disagreement or argument, whatever, with this person, they become the target. And it's very important to make sure that you have the space to process what's going on before you bring other people into it. Because they don't have opinions. People have opinions. Your loved ones have opinions. They just like buttholes. Everybody got one. But your relationship is your business and you're not obligated to share anything with anyone, including your parents. And what I said to myself, because my parents still ask about. Not my parents, but my grandparents still ask about my ex boyfriend from when I first moved out to la, and we haven't been together in years. So what I said was, I'm not bringing nobody else home until I think that I might marry this man. And that's just going to save me a world of heartache by them constantly bringing them up and asking me how they doing, and me constantly have to say, hey, let's not talk about this man no more. He ain't in my life no more. So you're not obligated to share with anyone. I always felt like I had to bring these men home and, you know, get them to meet my family and all of that. But nowadays, Tyra ain't doing all that. Now we are finally at our sixth thing. This is a doozy. This is one that is so hard. It's so hard. Let me just share with y'all. So the sixth thing that I want to share with y'all that my past relationships have taught me is that you cannot change things by loving them harder. And this is why I say foundational relationships are so important. Healthy foundational relationships are so important because they help you build the idea of what love is, what love should look like, what love should feel like, how you should show love. And I think early on, I Built an idea that loving someone harder will make them stay, or showing why I'm worth it will make them stay. And I know that that stems from my childhood trauma, my abandonment issues and things like that. But you can't. You simply can't. And that is something. I'm gonna be real transparent. That's something that I tried to do in my last relationship. He said that he needed space to focus on himself. I said, well, I want to be there. I'm great. All of these things. I said all of this to this man and I just felt so. How did I feel? I felt so powerless over it because I did love him and I know that I was a good girlfriend. He never said that I wasn't a good girlfriend. And he said, it's not me, he loves me, but he needs to focus on himself. So it was never the fact that I wasn't good enough. He just really needed to focus on himself. And I was over here saying, I can try harder, I can be there, I can do this. And that's just not what you want to do. You're going to end up hurting yourself so much more. The first time somebody tell you something like that, listen to them because you just gonna cause yourself more heartache. You're gonna cause yourself a longer healing process than just taking it for what it is right then and there. Because you can't change that. It's up to that person to change that. And I made this mistake plenty of times, not just in this last relationship, but I have realized that that is the biggest mistake I've made in all of my relationships. I've begged all of my boyfriends to stay with me. I have, and I'm be transparent, I have begged y'all. And it's always just caused me more heartache. So that is something that I'm personally working on. Like I said, it's attached to my abandonment issue. So I'm working on that through therapy as well. And I will always try harder and harder when I felt unloved instead of knowing that this situation just no longer serves my highest good. You cannot change things by loving them harder. Every relationship I have ever been in has taught me so much. I've learned more about my triggers, what truly makes me happy, what is insignificant, and what my non negotiables are through these relationships. I will say I often thought I stayed too long in a few of my relationships. But the truth is, you have to be sick and tired and ready to make a change in order to never do it again. You have to Make a move when you are clear. And that's what I did. So if you are in a relationship and you are saying to yourself, man, I think I'm staying too long, think about why. Why do you think that? Explore that. But for me, I was paralyzed in fear. I was paralyzed because I didn't think there was anything better for me beyond this relationship. I felt that I had to make it work. And this is why healthy, foundational relationships are so important. They help you build a framework around your relationship, your relational beliefs. I felt like I had to start from scratch with romantic relationships, and that's just how the cookie crumbled. And I decided to take it upon myself to create the life I wanted and make sure I learned from all of my romantic experiences and get to know Tyra a little more each and every day. Because what is for me will not miss me. But I want to be ready to receive the fullness of all that God has for me when it does come my way. Oh, y'all know what time it is. It's time for our fun closing segment. Maybe I need to take out the word fun. I don't really know, but, y'all, today we are starting something new. So, like, y'all know I just recently went through a breakup, so that means a reflection phase for your girl. So I bought the self reflection deck from we're not really strangers. You already know I love we're not really Strangers. And this deck is all about self awareness and self reflection. So if you have a notebook, pull it out. I want you to also write down this question that I'm going to ask. And I want you to take some time. Take like 10 minutes, turn on some lo fi, turn on some jazz, Turn on some music without words, instrumental. I don't know why I said music without words. Turn on some instrumental and really sit with yourself and answer this question to the fullness of your truth. Now I'm saying it, and I gotta answer it on the podcast, so let me get my dick. Now. I'm also going to link these down below for y'all because I just love having these cards. They're prompts that, honestly, they make conversations so much easier. I have a lot of different decks, and I say get them all. If I'm being completely honest, I have honest dating. I have the breakup addiction. Oh, gosh. I cannot talk. I have the breakup Edition, and I also have the Deeper meaning edition. I think that is for. From the Red Table Talk expansion pack. So we're going to pick one. Okay, I'm Just going to pick a random one out of the deck. Let's see. Okay. Ooh. What do I dislike that most people love? What do I love that most people dislike? Oh, gosh. I guess I would say, what do I dislike that most people love? Okay. I think a lot of people love reality tv. I despise of it. I hate it all. I don't want to watch none of it. It makes me want to gag. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I hate reality tv. And the reason I hate reality TV is because it's not reality and it's typically showing people in a distasteful way. And it's just not something that I see myself in. It's not something that I see myself watching. I don't like to immerse myself in drama, so I don't like reality TV and something that I love that most people dislike. I don't necessarily know if most people dislike this, but I know a lot of my friends don't like it. But I love to ride in my car in silence. No music, no podcast, no audiobooks, nothing. Just silence. I'll have the window down sometimes, and I just ride. And I think it's because I have a million thoughts going through my head a day. And when I'm driving, I'm focusing on driving, so I'm a little more focused and alert, but I can quiet my mind in that way. I feel like music and all of the other stuff just creates so much mental noise. And when I'm driving, I just prefer it to be quiet. Even if there's people in a car like people. I think people turn on their radio and stuff because the silence is, like, awkward. No, I love it. I absolutely love it. And my friends are always like, can we listen to some music? And I'm like, why? Like, you don't. You're not enjoying this. So that's what I would say. If you want to share your answer with me on on this question, you can email us at Affirmations for black girls gmail.com or send us a DM on Instagram @ Affirmations for Black Girls. I really want to know what you guys dislike that most people love and what you love that most people dislike. I think that's a great question. Oh, my goodness. Well, I'm glad you guys stayed to the end. This was actually pretty fun. I think I'm going to have to start making more episodes like this down below. I do have a link to a community form where I ask a few questions about the podcast. Like, if you like the podcast, what would you like to see on it? Y'all, please go fill out that form because it really helps me a lot. I know a lot of you guys said when I was doing shorter episodes, y'all, like, your episodes need to be longer. Girl, girl, stop playing. So I made them a little longer. So I really tried to incorporate the things that you guys are suggesting on that form. It will really help me out a lot. If you have any questions that you would like me to answer on the podcast, there's also a question form down below. Or you can send us a DM at Affirmations for Black Girls on Instagram, but the form is way better. Try to do the form and we'll answer it on the podcast for you. I'm just so grateful for y'all and thank you so much for listening to the end of the podcast. Please try out Athletic Greens. It really helps me out so much. If you try out AG1 by Athletic Greens, the link is down below as well and you'll get five free travel packs. And that's all I have for y'all today. So make sure you join us again next week and make sure you subscribe, rate, review the podcast, follow us on Instagram and Twitter, and follow us on YouTube. We have episodes coming out on YouTube soon, so this was Affirmations with Black Girls and I will see you again next week.
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