← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
Do I Love on ME Enough? Self-Care is NOT Selfish. It's a Necessary Act of Self-Preservation and Love. You Cannot Give From an Empty Cup. Learn How to Pour Into YOU. | ✨ Pep Talk Wednesdays REWIND
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Hey Y'. All. Welcome back to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast. Yes, today's episode is a rewind, but don't go nowhere because this summer we're revisiting some particularly meaningful episodes for our summer break. Like I told you guys in a previous episode, I wanted to give myself a little bit of time to breathe and everybody takes a summer break. But I did want to leave y' all high and dry. So this summer break is just a time to revisit some of the most soul shifting episodes from past seasons that deserve to be heard again. Maybe they'll resonate differently depending on the season of life that you're in now. So today's episode is one that I honestly come back to so often. And I just told myself this today because the reminder is still so good. Self care is not selfish. It's a necessary act of self preservation and love. And I know that sounds very good on paper, but putting ourselves first often still brings up feelings of guilt. We've been taught to serve, to show up, to push through for everyone else, even when we're running on empty. But living a softer life is about learning how to refill your own cup before you're out here trying to pour into everybody else's. So this rewind episode is here to guide you through that phase of defining and redefining self care on your terms, creating small self care moments that add up to a big breakthrough and releasing all of that guilt. Let's go ahead and dive into the episode. Most of us are taught from an early age that being selfless is a good thing and it is in moderation. Self care is not and never has been selfish. But we live in a capitalistic world where the man will make you believe it is powerful. You things are as powerful, as powerful as power. What is up beautiful people? You are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator and mental health enthusiast. And you guys, today I want to welcome you to our first pep Talk Wednesday. Now this type of episode is going to be a little different. It's something that I'm trying out, so I really wanted to do like a midweek pick me up just so you guys have more love coming to your inbox and coming to your podcast recommendation list. Okay, so our pep talk Wednesday Days will serve as a midweek pickme up and we'll just discuss something really quick that just. I, I'll just give you a really quick nugget of information to hold on to and maybe challenge you throughout the rest of the week. So these episodes will not have any affirmations in them and they'll be short and sweet. I'll try to keep them around the 10 to 15 minute mark and they will come out midweek on Wednesdays. Now, while you're listening to this episode, this is the first one in the show. Notes of each. Every single episode we do, there is a community request form. A community request form. Oh, Jesus. There is a community connection form where you can drop all of your thoughts and feedback on the actual podcast. So if you love these, let your girl know, fill out that form and say, oh my gosh, I love the pep talk Wednesdays. I can't wait for two episodes a week of affirmations of Black Girls Podcast. Y' all let me know. Okay? But I really want to test this out for a little while and I love being transparent. So we're going to test this out, see how it goes and then, then we'll go from there. But as you can see, today we're talking about self care and how it's not selfish and it's actually a very necessary act of self preservation and self love. So what is self care? The literal definition of self care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own mental health or one's own health in general. Now, growing up, or not even growing up, but like, since I've been like living in LA play, especially since I'm living a life of like, hustle, hustle, hustle hard. I have positioned self care as something that, how can I even say this? Something that I shouldn't be doing, something that I shouldn't be focusing on, something that is not important at this time in my life because I'm trying to build a career. I got all of this stuff going. I have to, you know, keep a roof over my head. I have to eat, I have to make sure that I'm working. I have to make sure that I'm moving up to the next level. All of this stuff, leveling up, leveling up, leveling up. And when we think in that way, we can sometimes stop prioritizing our well being. And the thing is, y', all, I'm say this right now, self care is not selfish. No matter what nobody say to you, always, always, always prioritize your well Being, prioritizing your well being is super crucial because one, when we feel depleted, we have absolutely nothing to give to anybody. And something that, you know, I heard a lot like in my, one of my previous relationships, he would always say like, you cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You should always be giving from your overflow. If we're not pouring into ourselves as far as self care goes, we have nothing to give others and that should be the first indicator. Oh my gosh. I need to take a step back from life, whatever is going on and I need to figure out how to love on me a little bit more. Also, prioritizing our well being is crucial because doing what we love recharges us. Now I know a lot of us work a day job and we have other dreams on the side. Doing what you love literally will recharge you and fuel you to do other things. Now there's a such thing as willpower and there's a such thing as motivation. Our willpower can definitely be depleted at some point because willpower will get you places. But it's just like an engine or. Yeah, it's just like an engine. If you don't put no gas in it, it's going to eventually lose steam. So the gas that we're talking about in this instance is self care and prioritizing you prioritizing Tyra in my, in my sense. And when we, we also lose our real selves in the do do do mentality. I was recently watching a YouTube video and it was just talking about how like, especially in America since we are such a technology first and discovering the next thing first community. We are so sad and we're so stressed out and we don't really live happy lives and that's because we lose our real selves in the do do do mentality. You start to put all of your progress and moving up to the next level ahead of what truly makes you happy in your heart, what recharges you. And we can also drain other people when we don't get our needs met. This has happened to me so many times, y'.
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Have you ever been in a situation where like you either work in a job and this is mainly like say like retail or you know, those types of jobs where somebody just hated so much that can stem from them being one, burnt out, two, being completely over it, having all of this other stuff that they're trying to get done on that minimum wage job and that can rub off on you and it's, it's It's a place that you don't want to be in. You don't want to be in a situation where you are around somebody who is always talking about how much they hate their job, how much they can't wait to clock out, y'. All. I've been in that situation way too many times and I always have to remove myself because I start to feel my energy being sucked out of me. You do not want to be that person that is draining other people. And the number one thing, the number one way that that be happening is when you're not prioritizing your own well being. And the last reason I want to touch on and why prioritizing our well being is very crucial. We fail to practice self compassion. I'm gonna let that hit. We fail to practice self compassion, which is just giving ourselves grace. Especially within this social media first world. We do not give ourselves grace. And we look at everybody, highlight reel and say, oh, I gotta go, I gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it. Okay, Busta Rhymes, sit down. You don't have to always get it. Take a second to yourself. Breathe, Take smell the flowers and learn how to pour love into yourself and give yourself compassion. Because Rome wasn't built in a day. And your career, career ain't gonna be built in a day. And it's not gonna ever be built if you're not putting your mental health and your well being first. I have a confession to make. I don't be eating, y'. All. Now hear me out. I will sit at my house all day, stomach rumbling, focused on doing work for the podcast or honestly just doom scrolling. And the next thing I know is 1pm and I am starving. Then I'm like, okay, Tyra, it's time to get your butt up and eat and stop playing. And then I get paralyzed because I don't know what to eat. I know we have all been there, but y', all, I have created an ingredient household. And while I love a good ingredient in a cabinet, something I realize I need in this season of my life is somebody else to plan out my meals. At least some of them. So lately I've been eyeing Green Chef. It's the number one meal kit for clean eating. And I'm liking what I'm seeing. You get to pick from over 80 options per week that are actually balanced, flavorful, dietitian approved. Amen. And designed to fit your lifestyle, even if your lifestyle changes every three days. And with specialty options like plant based, gluten free, protein packed and gut and brain healthy options. It's easier than ever to find something that fits you and your goals. For example, I've had it as a goal since the top of the year, y', all, to one, eat more, but two, to eat more of the right things that are actually still tasty. And coming up with a meal plan for me is so daunting. And I'm also the type of person who refuses to eat the same thing every single day for the sake of getting my body right. The mental fortitude that it takes to eat plain chicken and rice and broccoli every day for months, y', all, I don't really care to have it, okay? But Green Chef has week to week flexibility and you can even adjust your plan to match your mood and delivery schedule. So, baby, best believe when my cycle comes, yeah, that meal plan is going to change up a little bit. And with their new heat and eat meals ready in just three minutes, plus salads and breakfast that come together in five, I'm excited to start enjoying real food real fast. And that's truly what I need. I find that by the end of the day, I'm ready to brainstorm a meal. But for breakfast and lunch during the week, I. Oh baby. Green Chef me, please. So make this summer your healthiest yet with Green chef. Head to greenchef.com 50 affirmations and use code 50 affirmations to get 50 off your first month. Then 20 off for two months with free shipping. That's code 50 affirmations@greenchef.com 50 affirmations. Let Green Chef handle dinner so you can get back to everything else. Now, y' all know I'm a chef and y' all know I have been in my recipe testing era lately. But I'll be honest, I don't always have time for a three hour commitment or 10 random ingredients that I don't always have access to. I still want flavor and a pop of color this season. And Washington red raspberries have got me feeling inspired. Lately I've been dreaming up things like raspberry lemonade, a tart raspberry glaze for some meatballs, perhaps a homemade vinaigrette or maybe even a raspberry sorbet situation. Situation. If I'm feeling fancy. Oh, my mouth is watering, y'. All. I'm loving that I can always get that fresh summer flavor year round. Washington state produces 90% of American grown frozen red raspberries. And since they're picked at peak ripeness and frozen literally within hours, that bright, sweet, tart flavor gets locked in. And these berries are meant to be frozen so I can keep a bag in the freezer and use them whenever inspiration hits without worrying about loss of flavor or those weird textures. So if you want to learn more details on where to find American frozen red raspberries, plus recipe ideas and cooking tips, head to redrazz.org that's R E D R A Z Z.org you'll find participating retailers and inspiration for every meal. Plus info on how these berries go from farm to freezer with quality you can taste. For now, look for frozen Washington Red Raspberries at Costco, Kroger, Meijer or Winco Foods and check the bag for Product of the usa. Go grab you some rasp and get to cooking. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance Fiscally Responsible Financial Geniuses, Monetary Magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. So indulging in self care is the is one of the biggest ways that you can start practicing more self compassion and increase your self love. Self love literally means to intentionally and actively offer kindness, support, enhancement, thoughtfulness, patience, restoration, grace, Amen, appreciation and and respect toward yourself. Now if you're in a place where you're you're like oh gosh, I really need to start practicing self love. Write down all of these words and stick them to your mirror and think of ways that you can show yourself kindness, support, enhancement, thoughtfulness, patience, restoration, building yourself back up, grace, appreciation for who you are in the body that you have, and respect respect towards yourself. Learn how. Think of ways that you can start pouring back into yourself in those ways and you'll see your self love start to skyrocket. So I want to give y' all a challenge for this pep talk Wednesday. I want you to reflect on your personal needs and lean into making self care a lifestyle. That's your challenge. So you're going to write a list of self care activities that you want to start partaking in. So to get you started, first think about three things that make you happy right now. For me, let's say good food, a nice smelling perfume, and tending to my garden. So make a list of three things and you're going to use that to build a list of self care activities that you can partake in on a daily basis. Now, I've told you guys about BetterHelp in the past, but BetterHelp has groupinars. And I attended this groupinar that was called Self Care 101. And in this groupinar, we learned that there were five main types of self care. Now, there is some that say there's seven, some that says there's eight. But I learned that there were five. There's physical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual self care. So think about the ways you can pour into yourself in all of these types of self care. So an example, physical self care is like a nice bubble bath, a massage. That's the type of self care that we normally hear about. Emotional self care. Do you need to talk to your mom? Have a deep conversation? Do you want to just laugh? Like, deep belly laugh? Think about emotional self care in that way. Mental self care. Are you taking care of your mental. Are you meditating? Do you go to therapy? Are you talking about your problems? Are you reflecting? Are you making sure that you're not holding things in and suppressing things? Social self care. Have you seen your friends lately? Have you gone to any parties lately? Have you been in social situations to help fuel that social battery? And I've always felt that I wasn't really like a very social person in that way. I didn't really like to party. I. But y', all, I started to feel my social cup depleted about, let's say, three weeks ago. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I have to get out of the house. I have to be around people, and I work from home. So I spent a lot of time at home. So I took it upon myself to say, hey, let's go to a Dodgers game. I went to a Dodgers game. I said, oh, my gosh. I was talking to one of my friends, and I was like, I just really want to be, like, at an event. Like, nothing crazy, but I want to be at an event. And she invited me to a private Remy Martin party that was celebrating 50 years in hip hop. And I just continue. I went to a barbecue. Like, I had to feel my social battery, even though that's not something that I have to do so often, I felt it being depleted. And as you begin to spend more time with self, you'll be able to feel what needs to be filled in your life. And the last one, last main type of self care is spiritual. Have you been spending time with God? Have you Been praying? Have you been reading your Bible? So break it down into those five sections and just put a couple under there. You can always add more if you need to. But if this overall challenge feels a little daunting for you, try incorporating self care moments if it feels too hard. So Tyra, what is a self care moment? A self care moment is literally just that. It's a moment of self care. It's a small, simple self care activity. It can be unexpected and it's usually unplanned and it's a mindful experience. So it can be something like an intentional pause on the day. It could be five minutes long, y'. All. It doesn't have to be anything crazy and it creates a happy memory. It fills you with a little bit of joy. So a couple of examples of a self care moment. Using your favorite mug to drink your tea or your coffee. Writing with a nice pen. Have y' all ever wrote with a nice pen? That feels so good. Decorating your workspace, only wearing clothes that you actually love. And I have been diving into this. I want to talk about that on the podcast a little later. But I've been wearing clothes that I love a lot more versus always looking like a 10 year old boy. And I have really been feeling myself. Tyra is cute and she know how to dress y', all. But that is a self care moment that I like to partake in when I'm going work out or when I'm going like out to eat, that type of thing. Another one is using nice bath products. Go to Lush girl, Get that bath bomb, get that scrub, get that lotion. And the last one I'm going to touch on is fresh clean sheets at night. I have like four sets of sheets now, so I always have fresh sheets on my bed. And I started using like, like that many pairs of sheets because my housekeeper was like, oh no, Tyra, you only have one pair of sheets. What is going on? I'm like, well I wash it, then I put it back on the bed. I like the color of the sheets, they're green. And she's like, no, you need to have multiple pairs of sheets. So I eventually bought multiple pair of sheet pairs of sheets and now I change them out weekly to every two weeks. And it just feels so nice to pour into myself in that way so I can have a good night's sleep on fresh smelling sheets and not feel all yucky when I wake up in the morning. And the last thing about this, if you are the type of person that is like Tyra, I cannot do this. Start putting it in your schedule and start putting yourself first. Y' all put schedule out some self care time. Now. You already have your list. You have your self care moments. Put it on your schedule and do it. But one thing that was hard for me at the beginning of it was feeling guilty about self care because a lot of us feel that self care is selfish. Give yourself permission to focus on yourself. It just takes a mental shift. Remind yourself that the people you love and care about the most also love you too. If you do need to step away. So incorporating more self care creates a positive ripple effect in your life. So if you are feeling guilty, just think about it in this way. Self care improves your physical health. It can reduce stress and anxiety. It can boost your self esteem. It protects your mental health. Amen. And it can lead to better relationships. And in those relationships, your self care habits can also rub off on your loved ones. For example, I started going to therapy and I just started telling my parents about it and my grandma and y', all, my grandma and my daddy are both in therapy now and I could not be happier. Like y' all already know, I'm from the south and therapy is taboo. Something gotta be crazy wrong with you to go to therapy. In in their eyes, my daddy and my grandma in therapy, they at least gave it a try and I, I can't be more thrilled. And that simply came from me loving on myself a little more and just sharing a part of my life with them. What I want you guys to remember from all of this is self care is not selfish and self care is all around us. It doesn't have to be a 200 massage, it doesn't have to be a bubble bath. There are different types of self care that you need to explore so you know how to better serve yourself and how to better fill your cup. You can practice self care daily and you should practice self care daily. Take it back to the basics. Break up the monotony of your day. Look for the simple things where you can incorporate a self care moment. And don't forget to stop and smell the roses because we only got one life to live and we need to continue to pour into ourselves and make sure that we are taking care of our well being and we are preserving ourselves and filling ourselves with love and care. That is all that I have for you guys today. Make sure you join us again next week for another episode. Make sure you subscribe, rate the podcast, leave us a review and follow us on all social media. Thank you guys so much for listening. This is affirmations for black girls. La.