← Affirmations for Black Girls
Affirmations for Black Girls
The Art of Showing Up for Yourself: Making Room for Joy & Letting Yourself Be the Party
00:48:15
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- [00:02]
Tyra
Oh, the sadness you feel when you realize you've picked up your very last hot, crispy McDonald's fry. But what's this? More fries at the bottom of your bag. Oh the joy.
- [00:18]
Emily
The joy.
- [00:21]
Tyra
Oh wait, never mind.
- [00:24]
Emily
They're gone again.
- [00:31]
Tyra
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- [01:31]
Emily
Do you ever just look around at your life and realize, wow, I am full. Not just fed, not just surviving, but full. Full of joy, full of community and full of peace, y'all. That's exactly how I felt standing at my little coffee shop themed party yesterday, surrounded by people who love me, my playlist growing crazy and everybody just vibing. There was no big milestone that we were celebrating. No birthday, no launch, no look at what I accomplished. It was just life. And baby, that's enough. There's always a reason to celebrate and lately I've been making it a point to get high off of life. But let me be real with y'all for a second. It hasn't always felt that way for me. I remember a time in my life where I was so consumed with stress I didn't have the emotional space or creative bandwidth to even think about throwing a get together, let alone me hosting a full on themed one. And it wasn't that I didn't want to. My heart longed for it, longed to do things like that, to gather, to be surrounded, to fellowship, to create moments. But I didn't have the energy or the mental capacity to execute it. But now baby, I can breathe. Now I can make the space to create moments just because I want to. Because I deserve joy even when there is nothing big going on. Because I've built a life that gives back to me and because I have A community that shows up for me, that rocks with me. I've learned that you must create a life where celebration is a lifestyle, not a reward. What is going on, beautiful people? You are listening to the Affirmations for Black Girls podcast where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves. I am your host, Tyra, the creative actress, content creator, and mental health enthusiast. And y'all, I'm filming this literally right before it goes live. So yesterday I turned my coffee shop, I mean, my coffee shop. Yesterday I turned my apartment into a coffee shop. Like one of those little cozy, Instagram worthy spaces where the vibe is all warm and inviting. Y'all know the trend. It's been trending like people been turning their apartments into coffee shops. And I really have been wanting to do that before it was even trendy. I set up all of my favorite mugs that I made in pottery. I had my friend Emily, she has a coffee brand called Navarro Coffee. She made all of the lattes using her coffee. And we tested the menu, like for a week before we got it right. And me and my friends just got together for no reason at all. It wasn't a special occasion. It was just a regular degular Saturday. But that's the thing. There is always a reason to celebrate. And sometimes we just need to make space for the joy that's already around us. So before we dive more into my coffee shop and how I've been feeling about having having an event like that in my space, let's jump into our affirmation of the week. So this week's affirmation is. Making room for joy will allow it to find me. Let's go ahead and drop in, y'all. Making room for joy will allow it to find me. Making room for joy will allow it to find me. Making room for joy will allow it to find me. Making room for joy will allow it to find me. Making room for joy will allow it to find me. Let's go ahead and say it one last time together and really think about what it looks like to make room for joy in your life. Making room for joy will allow it to find me. Oh, Lord, y'all, here's the thing. Making room for joy isn't just a catchphrase. It's not just something that I'm just saying for this episode. It's something that life recently has thrown in my face in a good way. It's. It's something I shouldn't say it like that. It's something that life has taught me recently. It's something that we actively choose to do because joy doesn't just happen. But when we start to prioritize the things that truly light us up, joy will inevitably find a way in. I was actually talking to my friend Janae earlier today, and we were just recapping on the event, and I call it an event, but literally the coffee shop at my apartment. And I was just saying how after having this coffee shop themed party at my home, I realized in that moment or after, when I started reflecting, I realized just how stifled I was. When I first moved out to la, as you guys know, I moved out here with it, with a boyfriend. I was in a relationship, and I've told you guys about that tumultuous experience a lot of different times, and I'm still uncovering some things that I didn't know were happening. And one of those things is this. I didn't. I wasn't in a space when I moved out here, and I was in a relationship to make room for joy in my life. I wasn't consciously doing it, and I'm not. Honestly, I'm not consciously doing it now. I'm just actively moving towards things that make me happy. And since I started doing that, I realized in myself, wow, I wasn't doing that back in 2018, and it wasn't in 2018. I wasn't saying, no, I can't do these things for myself. I literally just, like I said, didn't have the mental capacity. I didn't have the bandwidth. I was in such a stressful situation that I literally could not think of anything outside of the situation that I found myself so deeply in. That was taking most of my emotional strength, my emotional energy. 24 7. I also mentioned on the podcast, at one point, my friend Daria called me. This was a couple of years ago now, but it was after that guy and I broke up, and she was like, girl, this is the longest I've talked to you in years. And when she said that, I was like, wow, it's because I was so stressed and I was constantly. Y'all. Being in a relationship, I. We probably need to unpack that in an entire episode. This. The idea of being in an emotionally draining relationship and what it can do in all areas of your life. But I really found myself not consciously, but I would subconsciously, I was pushing my friends and family away. I wasn't talking to anybody because I never had anything good to talk about. I was always mad, always upset, always stressed, always trying to make sure that we had a roof over Our head because that man did not pay bills and he was four years older than me. Let's just start there. But it was very stressful because I was wearing the pants in a relationship and that is not a position that I wanted to be in and whatever. But I say all that to say again. We have to actively choose to make room for joy in our lives. And I am seeing the fruits of me doing that with things like this party that was themed as a coffee shop. So. Okay, where did the coffee shop idea come from? I have always been very into themed parties and hosting and when I moved out to la. Well, let me start here. Ever since I was little, I remember being in grade school and just longing for my family, meaning my mama, my daddy, my brother and me to sit at the dining room table and have dinner together. This was one of my greatest wishes. And I would beg my mom and daddy granted y'all. My mom and my daddy was. I mean, my mama, Lord, I can't talk. My mom was in law school and my daddy was taking care of us. You know, he was like the more present parent because my mama was in school and working full time. So it was hard for us to eat dinner together because mom would get home late because she did night classes, because she had a full time job. So I remember just like saying to them, I want to eat dinner at the table. I want to eat dinner at the table. And we did. And I don't remember how many times we did it, but I remember one time specifically. And it just filled me with a joy that I can't explain. Like to my core I was like, this is what I've longed for. I, I want to fellowship in this way. I want to break bread in this way. I want to enjoy meals together. So from, from a very young age, I have been very into fellowshipping over food. So fast forward to yesterday. I had a coffee shop themed party at my apartment and it was at 10:00, it was from 10:00am to 2:00pm and y'all my friend showed up. I did a whole brand for this thing, right? It was called Tyrone's Rocker and Tyrone is my pawpaw. My brother actually picked the name and I was just like, I wanted to. Everything that I do has to have a story. And I think that stems from the fact that I don't live at home. I don't spend a lot of time around my family these days. And I want to have their essence in the things that I do to help me feel closer to them. So I was like, okay, I want to use my paa as inspiration for this. So I was talking to my brother, I was like, what can we call this? I want it. I want papa to be the inspiration. He was like, why don't you just call it Tyrone's rocker? And I was like, you know what? I love that. Cuz my papa be sitting outside on his porch, he be drinking his coffee. He lives the slow Southern life. And I just loved it. So once we figured that out, I rolled with it. I created a logo, and I just really wanted my apartment to be set. Set up like a coffee shop. I really wanted the vibe to be there. And that was one of the biggest compliments that my friends were giving me. They were like, as soon as I walked in, you had the gospel playing or, like, the blues. I had a mix of Louisiana centric sounds and also gospel. Like Kirk Franklin. Who. It was mainly Kirk Franklin on there, to be honest, because we was. It's a coffee shop. Like, we want to get crunk. Like, I. I remember we played Brighter Day, like, six times. It was such an amazing experience. But, yeah, this all came about because. Or it came back up because people have been doing coffee shops in their apartment on social media. And I was like, how could I make this more Tyra? So I made, like, 10 desserts. I did two specialty lattes. I did a raspberry shortbread, and I also did a bananas foster latte. And then we also had cafe olay. And it was just. That's what we drink in. In New Orleans, right? Like, it's just coffee with milk and a little bit of sugar or whatever kind of sweetener you want. I did a brown sugar cinnamon syrup for it, and it was just so cozy. And my friends had such a great time. And I also did beignets on the balcony. What else I had. I did matchas. I did a blueberry cold foam matcha that was to die for, y'all. I need to give y'all that recipe. Like, if y'all don't follow me on other social media, you need to follow me now because my recipes. Ugh, my mouth is watering thinking about that blueberry matcha. So I made a blueberry syrup from fresh blueberries, and. Oh, my mouth is watering. And I got my matcha, put it in a. A glass with milk, and then I made the cold foam with an ounce of the blueberry syrup and some more milk, poured it on top fire. Delicious. I have to make that again. I have more matcha left over and also more blueberry syrup. So I think that's about to be my new morning drink. It was not too sweet. It was perfectly blueberry, all of the things, right? And then my paw's favorite dessert is a pineapple upside down cake. So I made a pineapple upside down cake along with a lot of other stuff. Sweet potato biscuits. I did lemon, lemon, raspberry meringue eclairs, a matcha cookie. I had croissants. I didn't make the croissants. I bought the croissants. Anyways, it was a great day. And just seeing. Oh, I want to tell you this too. I made a hot breakfast. I said, if y'all get here at 10, y'all gonna get hot breakfast, y'all. Why, like, 12 people showed up at 10:00. I was like, I did not expect y'all to be here at 10:00 because I really wanted it to be cafe vibes. Like, when you go to a cafe or a coffee shop, you just go to get your drink and then you leave. Or you go get your drink, sit down, drink your drink, and then you leave. But people were staying the whole time because the vibe was there. We had little moments all the way around. Like, I had my Polaroid camera out so people could take pictures. I did little decals on my mirrors. It says, like, mug. Hashtag mugshot worthy, you know, coffee mug. I was also selling my pottery, y'all. People bought my pottery that I've been making. I made a lot of extra mugs for this event, and it was just h. It was so fulfilling. I was literally high on life. I even talking about it now, I'm just like, this was one of the best events I've ever done. And I don't know, maybe I'll show you guys some of the mugs that I have left over in case y'all want to bring one home with y'all. You know, I'm. I'mma think about it. I'mma think about it, because I do have, like, a lot, but I sold a few of them and that it was so dope. But anyways, it was a very fulfilling experience. I am so grateful for my community, for coming together and having fun with each other and fellowshiping with each other, because I have, like, a lot of pockets of friends, right? And since I have pockets of friends, it's always. It always feels hard to get them all together. And I just loved looking around my apartment and seeing. Seeing so many people from different areas of my life fellowshipping together. Like, that just made my heart so freaking Happy. And what I realized is that it don't take much. Hosting does not have to be extravagant, like, all of the bells and whistles. Like, granted, I had a huge menu and, like, a lot of food, but at the core of it all, it was a very cozy time in my apartment. And these little gatherings, whether it's a coffee shop, pasta night, or any themed get together that you just have in your home, these are the real celebrations. And we don't need a big moment to celebrate. So these days, I like to say that hosting is my love language. Okay, now, I know we've talked about love languages in the past, very briefly. There are only, like, there's only four real love languages, quote, unquote, real words of affirmations, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. And also gifts. Well, that's five. Yeah, anyways, five, whatever. But I know hosting is not in itself a love language, specifically. That's what I'm trying to say to y'all. But if you take a look closer, hosting is a love language. And I was just reflecting on that because it connects in every single way, at least the way I do it. So words of affirmation, the hand, handwritten menus that I had. My menu was handwritten, by the way, and I absolutely loved it. And I also had basically, like, affirmations around the room for people to see. And my content creator that I hired, she was asking people for their favorite affirmation. I hope I can find that content. But yeah, I hire someone to get behind the scenes footage so I can truly revel in the moment. Acts of service, me setting it all up, my friend Emily making the coffee, me making the menu, baking the pastries, creating the entire vibe, serving hot breakfast, making beignets on the balcony, serving people drinks like it's labor, but it's a labor of love. It's love labor. And I did it because I wanted people to feel cared about the moment they walked into my coffee shop, into my apartment, and quality time. Boom. That's the whole point of me doing anything like this in the first place, y'all. Hosting creates a shared memory. I also had my Polaroid camera, like I said, and I just cannot wait to look back on this event and just you can feel the love and the fellowship that was in my apartment yesterday. And I just. I could not ask for anything more. And the physical touch, you already know. I was hugging everybody, screaming in everybody face, laughing, dancing, jumping around, all of that stuff. We just had a good old grand time. So while hosting isn't officially a love language. I think it's the ultimate combo platter of all of the love languages. Like have, like hosting an event or hosting something in your home, fellowshipping with your people. It's the ultimate combo of all of these things. And it's how we love in real life. It's the quiet form of expression that says you matter enough for me to create this moment just for you and I to share. And like I said before, it doesn't have to be grand. Hosting is about the intention, not about perfection. It's about. It's. It's a come as you are invitation to joy. Whether it's this coffee shop party that I had is a little girl's night, wine night, whatever, or having my pawpaw in my living room, turning this thing into a full blown celebration because we was FaceTiming. It's all sacred moments. And yeah, hosting is my love language. Okay, I'm nosy. So who was the person who first taught y'all about money? I'm sure most of us learned about dollars and cents around elementary school age. But at what point were we taught some real financial literacy? Was it high school? A random college course? Advice from your grandma that don't quite hold up these days? Hello. I know that I still learn a new lesson every once in a while from trial and error, but now more than ever is a good time to take control. And hey, everybody has to start somewhere, okay? So it's perfectly okay not to know everything yet. April is Financial Literacy Month. That's right. They made a whole month reminding you to finally take control of your money. And the good news is, you don't need 30 days. Acorns makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future in just five minutes. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You also don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change. And as we get older, y'all wanting to be smarter about your money is a good thing. Knowledge is something you can always fall back on in those moments in life where you don't feel in control of your money. So sign up now and join over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over 25 billion doll dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com affirmations or download the Acorns app to get started. Hey. 9 client endorsement compensation provides incentives to positive promotional Acorns your1 compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors, LLC and SEC Registered Investment Advisor. View Important disclosures@acorns.com affirmations be honest have y'all ever tried taking a shot of straight apple cider vinegar first thing in the morning back when it was trendy? I did it once and y'all, I said never again. But I still wanted those same digestive benefits without burning my throat and hurting my stomach. The truth is, some, well, trends are harder to stick to than others. And taking shots of apple cider vinegar or swallowing giant multivitamins? No thank you. Ever since I first tried Goalie's Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies, I look forward to taking my vitamins. Not only do they basically taste like candy, but they're packed with the things I need to feel my best. No mixing, no measuring, and absolutely no chalky peels. Y'all. When I tell you they just taste like a little gummy candy, they taste good. Just grab them, chew them and I go about my day. And it's not just the ACV Gummies Gold Goalie has stuff for different needs, including Ashwagandha for stress relief and Superfruits for beauty and glow. And don't worry, they're vegan, gluten free and made without any of that artificial stuff. So taking vitamins can fit right into any routine without a second thought. So head to goli.com right now and get America's number one Ashwagandha and apple cider vinegar gummies at an exclusive 42% off. Give them a try risk free, backed by our money guarantee because wellness should be simple, effective and delicious. Don't wait. Visit goalie.com today. Okay, I'm nosy. So who was the person who first taught y'all about money? I'm sure most of us learned about dollars and cents around elementary school age, but at what point were we taught some real financial literacy? Was it high school? A random college course? Advice from your grandma that don't quite hold up these days? Hello, I know that I still learn a new lesson every once in a while from trial and error, but now more than ever is a good time to take control. And he everybody has to start somewhere, okay? So it's perfectly okay not to know everything yet. April is Financial Literacy Month. That's right. They made a whole month reminding you to finally take control of your money. And the good news is you don't need 30 days. Acorns makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future in just five minutes. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You also don't need to be rich. Acorns let you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change. And as we get older y'all, wanting to be smarter about your money is a good thing. Knowledge is something you can always fall back on in those moments in life where you don't feel in control of your money. So sign up now and join over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com affirmations or download the Acorns app to get started. Hey. Non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Here one compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures@acorns.com affirmations I think the thing about me when I first moved out to LA with that guy is that I was in survival mode. I think that's why I didn't have the emotional space or the mental bandwidth to lean into joy because I was constantly trying to make sure that we were both good, especially at such a young age. As you guys know, I'm not from la. I do have extended family here, but I don't really know them. So when I first first first moved out here, it was very stressful and I did feel like that guy was the only person I had and that's why I stuck close to him even though I was literally keeping him afloat. And my spirit has always longed for joy, creativity and connection and I'm just so glad that now I have a space to honor that longing. And it doesn't feel like I'm forcing it. I just have an idea pop into my head and I bring it to fruition. Now the one thing that I will say about that is that choosing Joy wasn't. It wasn't just a feel good decision. It was about. How can I say this? It was about choosing peace and choosing myself and asking 30 year old Tyra what does 5 year old Tyra want? What does 10 year old year old Tyra want? What did 15 year old Tyra want to do with her life? What are some of those things that I was really really dreaming big for when I was younger and how can me implement them now? And that's what I will say I'm most proud about Millennials and I Don't want to just categorize it into that. But people today, we are more likely to make joy a priority. We're more likely to tap into our childlike curiosity and our childlike joy and our adventurous, curious spirit. And I love that for all of us. So making space for joy. Well, making joy a priority starts with making space for that joy. And making space for joy is both emotional and practical, right? So for me, here's a. I wrote down a few ways that I have started to choose myself and make joy in my life a priority. First, I clear my calendar. Sometimes every free moment doesn't have to be productive. I'm super excited that it's springtime now, because I just cleaned off my balcony for this party because it was like an indoor, outdoor type of thing, because I was doing beignets on the balcony, y'all. Today. I was just sitting out there, and I was like, I missed this. I missed this so much. I purposefully did not fill my Sunday with anything. Well, today is Easter, by the way, so happy Easter, you guys. He is risen. Happy resurrection Sunday. I cleared my calendar, and I just sat out on my balcony earlier today and just felt the sunshine on my legs, on my face, and I love that for me, and it just. It filled me with joy. I also physically set the scene, y'all. I'm a light a candle. I'm going to turn on a diffuser. I am going to put a wall plug in. Okay, baby. I am going to play a playlist. Have so many different playlists for different types of feelings that I'm having. Like, I have a working playlist. You know, that's for, like, productivity. But then I have a home vibes playlist. I have. What is it? Feel good bops. Y'all even have this playlist called White Boy Era. Whenever I want to just rock out and, like, scream at the top of my lungs and run around the house, I got a playlist for everything. So I can set the scene. And I also, like, set out the dream, you know, curate the moment. I love doing that, because why not? Y'all know I buy a lot of glassware, or at least I think I've talked about that on the podcast. Baby, I'm gonna use my glasses, okay? When my friends come over, they'd be like, all right, Tyra, what glass do I need to use for this water? What glass do I need to use for this juice? And I'm like, here's the thing, y'all. I got all this glassware here, and glassware serves A purpose. And you need to use the correct vessel for the contents. Amen. So if you got a margarita, if I made you a margarita, I'm gonna let you pick your glass, but I'm gonna tell you which glasses to choose from just because it makes sense and it's so fun, and I wanted to. I want you to have the best experience with it. Like, I'm not about to put you a frozen margarita into a wine glass. What? Why would I do that? That's what I mean by that. So another way that I am making space for joy is giving myself to create moments that don't accomplish anything. This coffee shop didn't accomplish anything other than fellowship. So what other moments? If you think about that, what moments can you create by giving yourself permission? Or how could you give yourself permission to create moments that don't accomplish anything in your life? Maybe it's inviting friends over and doing a puzzle. Maybe it's not inviting anybody over. Maybe it is giving yourself permission to turn on your favorite playlist, fix yourself a cup of coffee or a latte or something like that, and watch your favorite show, paint a wall, journal, whatever. Like giving yourself permission to create those moments that you want to experience in your life and also shifting your mindset. Joy. Listen, y'all, listen closely. Joy is not a reward for burnout. It's something that you're worthy of now and on an ongoing basis. So what I had to do was shifting. And we've talked about celebrations, right? And joy isn't just about celebrating anything, but we're just using this event that I had yesterday to illustrate this idea. But joy is not a reward. It's something that you are always worthy of, no matter where you are in your journey and in your life. And when you prioritize, Joy, you stop waiting for something or someone to give it to you, and you begin creating it yourself. And I've been doing that subconsciously now, and I love that. For me, I had my launch party. I could have did something small, but I wanted everything to have meaning, right? I have the. I had this coffee. Coffee shop party in my house. I've also been inviting friends over, like, on the rooftop, just for drinks. We were up there the other day, and I made spritzes, and we were dancing to the Boots on the Ground song, was learning that. And that's it. And then other people came up there. They were celebrating the birthday, and we started chatting with them, and I was like, this is what I live for. We live in a world where so many people are to Themselves. We are hyper independent, and we're not fellowshipping with our neighbors. We're not inviting people over. We're not in space. A lot of us are in survival mode. We're not in spaces where we are making joy a priority. But I'm here to say joy making joy priority does not have to look a certain way. It's however it needs to look for you. So keep that in mind and let's make joy a habit, not a rare exception. Hey, you know, another priority for me in my life right now, as I'm in the first year of my 30s, is making sure that I am cultivating a community that celebrates me and vice versa. Cultivating a community that I feel compelled to celebrate with and celebrate them as well. I was listening to one of my friend, Bria, you guys know her, she's been on the podcast a couple of times. She was talking about on her story being a villager. And that's such an interesting concept, and I never thought about it that way, but it makes sense and it's something that we should be doing. So when you are cultivating community, it's imperative that you show up. It's imperative that you give your time and you do it with intention and joy and you match their energy in a good way. Meaning you guys energies match one another. So she was talking about being a villager and how that's how sometimes in the community, your role is to be a villager. And what that could look like is, is you showing up to the event, you helping your friend out, you throwing the event or celebrating, just, you know, hosting the celebration for your family or your family, your chosen family, your community, whatever. It could also look like you just holding space for them in a time of need, whatever that may look like. And I was like, that's a very interesting concept. I never thought of myself as a villager and I never thought about my. The people in community as villagers. Whenever I am hosting something or whenever I need something, need a shoulder to lean on. But I think that very concept can help shift your mind to know a community is full of villagers and everyone has their role. But as the community grows, your roles can shift and evolve. And at the end of the day, say it's imperative that you surround yourself with people who get you and who can celebrate with you, who can also cry with you. You, you have to celebrate your people. You have to surround yourself with people that can celebrate you, but also be a shoulder to lean on all of the things, because we are multifaceted human beings and we have a colorful spectrum of emotions that we go through on a day to day basis. So for me, I love how my community showed up for me at my coffee shop. I've talked about this in the past, but the reason why I Another reason, on top of a stressful life why I never wanted to have anything to celebrate me was because when I was in fifth grade, I invited people to my birthday party and nobody came. My brother and I would have joint birthday parties because we were born two. Well, not two days apart, but his birthday is two days before mine. But he was born in 95, I was born in 94. And all of his friends came and none of mine came. And it was absolutely mortifying. And that's why when people show up for me now, it's just like, dang, I love you so much. Thank you so much for showing up for me. And they showed up with intention and they showed up up full of joy and they matched my energy. They brought me gifts. Like my friends already know. Whenever I have an event, I got everything covered. But they know, okay, I can bring a hostess gift and they know what to bring. So a few people brought me flowers and plants and I was just so excited. I got a card. Y'all know I love cards. I love to give cards and I love to receive cards, and I keep keep every single card that I get. But it was just dope. They weren't just coming for the coffee and the pastries. They came to see me. They came to support me in my joy and community. Like, that doesn't always show up overnight. It's something that you have to cultivate. When I looked around the room, I saw people from 2018 that I met in 2018 and people that I met in 2025. And it's just so crazy how many different lives you can live in that type of. In that span of time. I really felt poured into at my event. Let me think of a way. Well, one of my friends and her sister, they came and they're actually the ones who brought me a card. And they brought me an orchid as well. And it was so beautiful. And in the card, it just says that they just love my creative mind and how I'm always creating spaces to fellowship. And I was like, oh my gosh, I am. And I love it that you showed up for me. So I really felt poured into in that way. I also felt very poured into before the actual event because so many people that were invited text me before the event and said, do. What do you need? Do you need me to bring anything? How can I help? And as you guys know, we've been talking about that, accepting help. And when I tell you I accepted it, y'all. So I have a friend, he texted me, like, two weeks ago actually, and he was like, I know that you're about to be busy. What do you need? I'm here. And I was like, I don't know what I need, but I will accept your help. And long story short, I finally found something for him to do, so he came over and helped with the giveaways. I did little magnets, little coffee bean magnets for giveaways for everyone. And I also put stickers on all of the latte cups. So he helped me out with that. And that was just very, very sweet of him because he did not have to do that. That. And he just said, whatever else you need, just let me know, because I know how it can be, and I just love that. Then another friend, she texted me, and she was like, hey, just checking in. I know it's party week. What do you need? And I said, girl, she's also a chef. I said, girl, please come help me. So she came over and she actually helped me with the eclair. She stuffed the eclairs and also did a couple of other things around the house. And I was just so elated that she helped out. And as you guys know, like, you always have your core friends too. So I have, like, a handful of friends that always help out with whatever I'm doing. It don't matter if it's a party. It don't matter if it is some wild, wacky idea. I have people that will rock with me, with whatever. And one of those people is Angelina. She was like, girl, what you need? What do you want me to do? Anything creative. She is in there like swimwear. So she took care of a lot of the more crafty things for the event. And even on the night before and the day of, she was just in here rocking and rolling with me. I love that. And like I said, community like that doesn't just show up overnight. It's something that you cultivate. It's something that you put work into. It's something that you are intentional about. And I think, like I said, we live in a hyper independent world right now where. Where we keep to ourselves a lot. We keep our circle small. And even though your inner circle is small, that doesn't mean that your whole world has to be small, because people serve different purposes in your life. And just because they aren't A close friend doesn't mean that they can't be a friend to you in any given moment or any given day. And that's super important. So like I said, you, you don't need a birthday, you don't need a brand deal, you don't need a big milestone or anything like that to gather your people. And when you create a community that is there for you, they will be there for you. They will be your village. No matter if you live at home, if you moved away. All of the things we all crave, closeness in some way. And, and I'm just so grateful that I have finally built a community that pours into me and that is here for me, that shows up for me and a community that is down with just celebrating with me for the sake of being alive. So sometimes I randomly feel a little off and I always wonder, is this stress? Am I not drinking enough water? Is this just what getting older feels like? Because I'm 30 now. And I'll also be the first to admit that I'm curious about the role hormones play in how I feel day to day. But who really feels like shelling out extra coins to find and book an appointment with a specialist? But not knowing what's going on is just as stressful. So I have to start somewhere. So, y'all, I recently learned about a free two minute quiz that can help you uncover the root of your hormonal symptoms. Made by Happy Mammoth. It's right there on their website and it's all pretty straightforward. I just answered a few questions about my symptoms, my habits and where I'm at in my life. And they offer a range of products designed to help women feel like themselves again. And with personalized recommendations from the quiz, you'll know exactly where to start. My results recommended that I give their hormone Harmony a try. So I'm gonna see what it's hitting on. Are you ready to start feeling like yourself again? Head over to happymammoth.com and take their free 2 minute hormone quiz today to the ultimate answer to your stubborn hormonal issues. And for a limited time, you can also get 15% off your entire first order with my code affirmations at checkout. That's happy mammoth.com and use the code affirmations for 15% off today. Here's the thing. You don't have to wait for a party to be planned for you. You can create the moment. You can be the reason. When you step into that joy and give it space to live, it will find you. Celebration doesn't need permission. It just needs for you to say yes. So for Tyrone's rocker, I wanted to create something cozy in my space place that also reminded me of home. So from the food choices, the latte flavors, to the music and the decor, I made sure bits of my papa and his Southern charm were peeking through. And you can do that in your own way. We're taught to celebrate the big things and not sweat the small stuff. Well, I'm celebrating the small stuff now because those moments are just as, if not more important than the bigger things in life. Life. And I really think if you start to celebrate the small things and find those special moments, that is when you are truly living in a space where you are making joy a priority. Oh, y'all, you know what time it is? It is time for our final closing segment. And, y'all, for today's fun closing segment, I just got a question for y'all, and we're gonna answer it together. So I know in this episode, we've been talking about making room for joy in your life and my coffee shop and just how elated I am with it and how high on life I've been. The question is, if you were planning a random party tomorrow to fellowship with your friends. Friends, what would it be? Take some time to think, but I got a whole laundry list of fellowshipping ideas. Here's the thing. For me, I love a good theme. I don't want to do nothing regular, even though doing something regular is fine. It just makes me a little more happy deep down to have a little theme and go with it. Go places where my childlike brain would want to go, like, really be creative and really have fun. So I don't even know if I want to tell y'all this. Okay, I'll tell y'all. So there are a few events that I really want to have in the near future. So I've wrote down a list of some random party ideas that I would love to have that are they can be very simple, or they can be extravagant. Whatever your heart desires. So the first one, if I was having another random party tomorrow, I would do Legos and lemonade made. Okay. Y'all know I love building Lego. And I was like, I also love alliteration if y'all didn't catch that. But I was like, oh, my gosh, I have all of these LEGO sets. I should do these with some friends. Okay. How can I make it a little. A little party? How can I make it a thing? And I'm like, oh, Legos and lemonade it could be real cute. I can have it on the balcony or on my rooftop, depending on how many people come, have some Vibey music playing, and then have, like two to three different flavor lemonade shades, and that's it. Boom. Maybe I could have some light bites, whatever. But we just building our Lego sets and we just fellowshipping in that way, which I think I love it. Another idea I had recently when I was cleaning off my balcony was that we could have a garden party. Now I don't have a garden garden, but I have a balcony garden. And when I was cleaning off my balcony, I was like, I have a lot of plant pots, like, extra ones. Like, I got like. Like 15 to 20 extra ones. And I was like, what am I going to do with all of this? And then I realized that I have, like, half of a bag from Sam's, a bag of soil. I was like, oh, my gosh. I need to invite friends over, and we need to have a. A potting party. They need to bring a plant. I got the pots, I got the extra soil, and we need to pot some stuff up. And maybe I can have, like, some fun light bites and have music, and we just have some fun in the sun on the balcony and have a new plant to leave with. I also want to have a gospel brunch where we just play music. Brighter day. Okay, we play music and we just have a nice brunch. I think that would be so dope. It that's kind of like giving the coffee shop vibe. I think that'll be dope. I would do cake decorating, a cozy gamer girl night. Or if you're not into, like, games like Harvest Moon Sims, all of that stuff. You could have a regular game night with Taboo and Uno, all of that stuff. Or we could even do a sunset spritz club. I just did one of those, y'all. It was so fun. That's when I was talking about up on the rooftop and we were dancing the boots on the ground. That was that. So I was like, let's do this at sunset, y'all. Be at my house at 4:00, the sun about to start setting. Boom. Golden hour. A spritz in hand. And I had hors d'oeuvres and stuff, and we just danced the night away until it got cold. Then we came in the house for, like, an hour more, and then everybody went home. But it was so fun, and it just felt like life was slowing down. And I think that's another theme that runs through all of this stuff. That I really want to do. I want to slow down a little bit more. So building Lego, like that takes time. Planning a pot, that takes time. A gospel brunch, that's just a time to sit and eat and fellowship with one another. A cozy gamer girl night. Those cozy games, y'all, I could play them for hours on end. And I just love creating moments that we don't have every day. You know, simple things that we can do. Like for example, stuff that's trending right now on social media as, as it relates to like parties and stuff are very niche party ideas. Like a tomato picnic. I actually had one of those earlier this summer or summer, it's not summer yet, earlier this spring. And it was such a fun idea. I told my friends to dress up like tomatoes. The inspo was heirloom tomatoes and they come in a wide variety of colors and it was just so fun. You could have a pickle party, a dessert for dinner party, field day, a coffee crawl, an office meeting party. I saw some people who had this get together at the house, very chill and they all made presentations for what's been up in their lives and they all gave a full on presentation and I just thought that was was dope. So if you were planning a random party tomorrow, what would it be? Think about some stuff and it only have to be a party party. Like when I say the word party, I literally just mean get together with somebody you love. One person, three people, 20 people, whatever. It don't have to be a big thing. It can be a small thing. We want to celebrate the smaller things in life. So think about other ways that you can celebrate. Maybe your friend got a promotion and y'all want to go get cookies late at night. Night you paid off your couch. Boom. Alt celebrations is what they call like alternative Alternate celebrations are on the rise and we need more community time. My gym is actually having a potluck soon and y'all, I'm so excited to bring something to the potluck and just talk to everybody at my gym. For me, fellowshipping over food in some unique way is what really revs my engine. But that can be different for you. So what, what is that thing for you? What is that moment that you can create? What is that thing you can do to cultivate community, to fellowship with your community? Take some time and think about it and see how you can create those moments for you and the people around you that you love. Or maybe you don't want to create a moment right now. Maybe you need to be a Villager. And maybe you need to show up for other people in your community right now. Those things happen as well. So, yeah, I know I talked a lot, y'all, but I am so high on life from my event, and I'm just so grateful that I've come to where I am, because there was a time in my life where I couldn't see me doing these things. If you would have told 2018, Tara, girl, you're gonna have a coffee shop in your apartment, and all your friends gonna come. I'd been like, girl, that's not gonna happen for, like, what, 12 years or whatever? And. And I'm just so grateful that I'm here now and that I'm genuinely, to my core, I'm joyful. I'm so grateful for the joy that I am filled with at this time in my life, because there was a time where I was just a sad, sad girl. And I mean, well, that's why this podcast exists, because I was super sad. But you can't be sad all the time. And also, trouble don't last always. That's one of my favorite gospel songs. I'm so glad Yo, Trouble don't last always. Okay, y'all, I'm about to get about here. So that's all that I have for you guys today. Make sure that you join us again for the next episode. I think I'm doing a pep Talk Wednesday episode this week. I'm not sure. I'm not even gonna lie to y'all, y'all. I know I haven't done a new episode in a while, so thank y'all for rocking with me. If you are not already subscribed to our YouTube channel, go over there and subscribe. This is not a video episode, but we have tons of video episodes, and we have even more coming. So go over there and subscribe so you guys can see my lovely face. And so we can actually comment under each podcast episode. I think that's the thing that I love the most about posting to YouTube. You can put your comments right there. You don't have to go to the email. You don't have to say, this is in response to this episode. All that. You could just put it right there, and then I can respond to you. Make sure you also rate the podcast and leave us a review. Our reviews and ratings, y'all. Y'all are doing it. Please, please, please. It helps out so much. The reason we were in the. Did I even tell y'all we were in the top 100 on Apple? Apple. We are Apple. Top 100 podcasts in mental health, and that is because of the reviews and ratings. So if you listen to this podcast, if you love it, if you rock with me, please leave us a rating and leave us a review. They are super, super, super important and they're gonna help keep us in the top 100 because that's where we need to be. We need to have more Black girls in the top 100, baby. Okay, thank you guys so much for listening. I truly, truly appreciate each and every one of you guys. And thank you for listening to me ramble about my coffee shop event and I hope to have more things like that in the future. And with that being said, I'm going to talk to you guys again in the next episode. This is Affirmations for Black girls.
- [55:40]
Tyra
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