Am I Sharenting?: The Dangers of Oversharing Online

Summary

---

All Pro Dad Podcast

Episode Title: Am I Sharenting?: The Dangers of Oversharing Online

Date: May 11, 2026
Host: Ted Lowe | Guests: BJ Foster, Bobby Lewis

Overview

This episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast tackles the growing phenomenon of "sharenting" — when parents share stories, photos, and information about their children online. Through candid personal stories, research, and practical tips, hosts Ted Lowe, BJ Foster, and Bobby Lewis explore the motivations, risks, and responsibilities involved. The conversation balances humor and humility while challenging dads to reexamine the impact of their social media habits on their kids’ privacy, safety, and sense of self.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Is “Sharenting”? (06:09, 06:21)

• Sharenting = The practice of oversharing children’s photos, details, and milestones on social media.
• Origin: Coined in a 2012 Wall Street Journal article as “oversharenting.”
• 82% of social-media-using parents have posted about their children ([07:04], Bobby Lewis citing Pew Research).

2. How Common Is Sharenting? (07:04–08:49)

• Nearly all parents who use social media have posted about their kids.
  • Quote: "It's the norm. It's not the exception." – Bobby Lewis [07:04]
• Hosts reflect on their own evolution, having slowed down or stopped sharing as their kids became older and more aware.
  • Quote: “Around age 10, my kids became more aware…their sense of embarrassment became more of a real thing.” – BJ Foster [00:49]
• The increase in “friends” over time on social platforms makes sharing less personal and potentially more risky ([04:31], BJ).

3. Motivations Behind Sharenting (08:49–12:44)

• Staying Connected: Keeping distant family in the loop and maintaining relationships.
  • Quote: “It just keeps those relationships warm that wouldn’t be warm otherwise.” – Ted Lowe [09:57]
• Documenting Milestones: Using social media as a digital scrapbook.
• Seeking Community: Getting advice, support, or validation from other parents.
• The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated online sharing and normalized digital communication.

4. Risks & Concerns of Sharenting (12:44–16:41)

• Privacy Risks: Children’s digital footprints are established long before they consent.
  • “If everything is public, then what is private?” – Ted Lowe [12:44]
• Embarrassment & Consent: Children might feel embarrassed now or later by public anecdotes or photos.
  • Real-life example: BJ’s son’s friends saw stories about him shared on social media ([13:07–14:05]).
• Quantity of Exposure: By age five, up to 1,000 photos of a child can exist online ([15:18], Bobby).
• Security Risks: Sharing reveals locations, routines, or affiliations that can compromise safety.
  • Parents in their community avoid posting school logos, vacation photos in real time, etc. ([16:03], BJ)

5. Alternative Ways to Share Privately (17:04–19:17)

• Family-only apps (e.g., Be Real) and digital picture frames allow safe, private sharing.
  • “It removes the need to perform and is sharing real life. Most of it is just for our families.” – Ted Lowe [17:04]

6. The Ethics of Sharing: “Kids or Content?” (19:59–22:00)

• Who benefits: Are you posting for your kid, your family, or for external validation?
  • "Who do you want your kids to be? Do you want them to be your kids or your content?" – BJ Foster [19:59]
• Cautionary tale about a commercial where a child’s milestones shared online leads to strangers knowing private details—highlighting the possible “yuck” factor and potential risks ([20:45], BJ).

7. Modeling & Teaching Privacy (22:00–24:17)

• Kids mimic parents—how you handle online sharing will influence their attitude toward privacy.
• Parents may inadvertently model the same behaviors they’re cautioning kids against.
  • “Parents have already done what they're telling their kids not to do.” – BJ Foster [22:26]
• Social media presence is now checked by employers; posts can last for decades ([23:36], Ted).

8. Practical Tips for Smart Sharenting (25:37–29:48)

• Three questions before sharing:
  1. Why is this photo important for everyone to see?
  2. Who gains from me sharing this?
  3. Is there potential for embarrassment years from now (“kid lash”)?
• Curate your friend/follower list. If you wouldn’t text the picture to someone, reconsider posting it to a wider audience.
  • “If you wouldn’t directly text that picture…would you share it on Facebook for the person you haven’t talked to in six years?” – Bobby Lewis [27:15]
• Safety best practices:
  • Max out privacy settings
  • Review contacts for trustworthiness
  • Avoid sharing clues like school logos or real-time locations
  • Use private group apps/email for family updates
  • Remove geotagging from images ([29:13–29:48], Ted & Bobby)

9. Involve Kids in the Process (29:48–31:09)

• Have family discussions about what’s shared. Get kids' input and permission.
  • “If you can involve your children in the process, it’s probably not a bad idea.” – Bobby Lewis [29:48]
• Lead by example: “If they see us doing it poorly, that’s not going to be good for them in the long run.” – Bobby Lewis [30:30]

---

Notable Quotes & Key Moments

• On the evolution of posting:
  • “Are your kids your content, or are they your kids?” – Ted Lowe [03:09], revisited by BJ [19:59]
• On family connections:
  • “We want to be connected. That’s a great thing.” – Bobby Lewis [11:06]
• On the shifting meaning of “friends” online:
  • “I think the concept of Facebook friends is just mislabeled—it's more Facebook acquaintances.” – Bobby Lewis [26:36]
• On consent and embarrassment:
  • “Is there potential for embarrassment years from now? That’s called kid lash—backlash on parents for sharing what they could have kept private.” – Ted Lowe [25:37]
• Memorable moment:
  • The “beach photo” commercial story — highlighting how innocuous sharing can attract the wrong kind of attention and make kids uncomfortable ([20:45], BJ).

---

Important Timestamps

• [00:49] – BJ: Story of when and why he stopped posting
• [06:09] – Ted: Definition of sharenting
• [07:04] – Bobby: Pew Research on prevalence
• [13:07] – BJ: Kids’ reactions to hearing stories about themselves online
• [15:18] – Bobby: A thousand photos of a child online by age 5
• [17:04] – Ted: Private sharing apps and alternatives
• [19:59] – BJ: “Do you want your kids to be your content or your kids?”
• [22:26] – BJ: Modeling behavior and hypocrisy in parental sharing
• [25:37] – Ted: Three questions to ask before posting
• [27:15] – Bobby: Reconsidering the meaning of “friends” on social
• [29:13] – Ted: Privacy tips from esafety.gov
• [31:09] – Ted: Pro move of the week—talk to your kids about sharing practices

---

Pro Move of the Week

Have a family conversation about sharing information online. Ask your kids about the pros and cons and decide together what kind of digital presence your family will have.

---

Final Thoughts

The episode encourages dads to reflect on their motivation for sharing and to weigh the desire for connection against the responsibility to protect their children’s privacy, safety, and dignity. Sharenting isn’t inherently wrong, but mindless posting can have unintended consequences. Asking the right questions, using safer sharing methods, and modeling thoughtful digital citizenship are key.

---

If you’re looking for practical, honest advice about parenting in the digital age—and want to laugh and think along the way—this episode delivers.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, welcome to the AllPro dad podcast. I'm Ted Lowe, and our big question of the day is, what is charity? And am I doing it without even realizing it? In this episode, we talk about why sharing photos and stories about our kids online has become normal for parents. The tension between staying connected with family and protecting our kids privacy. And a few simple questions that dads can ask before posting about their kids online. I'm joined today by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis, and we're digging into why this topic matters more than ever. Let's get into it. All right, guys, big question of the week. What is sherating and am I doing it? Good morning, guys.

[B]

Hey, man.

[A]

Do you guys share a lot of photos of your kids?

[C]

I don't. I. I mean, I don't. Not definitely. Not anymore. I used to. I used to share just kind of funny stories and. And about my kids when they were younger, things that they would say. I was trying to think through some of the things that I used to share. I came across one post that I shared. I mean, when my son was. When my son was two or three years old, I said, I give Loops Luke props for pooping on the potty. Next, we need to work on making sure the lid is up. So, like. Like when my kids were 2 and 3, it was like I was just sharing about potty training because that's all we were doing. Later on. It was. It was just kind of conversations, funny things that they would say. But then eventually I just kind of stopped doing it because my. Like around age 10, my kids became. They became more aware of people responding to them and not. Not necessarily on online responding to them, but they became aware of people responding to the things that they would do in public, and. And their own sense of embarrassment became more of a real thing. So, I mean, very occasionally, like, I will share something, but I'll. I tend to try to ask permission from them if I can.

[B]

Yeah, I used to. I used to take pictures. I still take a lot of pictures of my kids because they're so darn cute, man. They look like my w. I take a lot of pictures. I don't share very many of them anymore, and I used to do that, but for some reason, I just kind of got out of the habit, especially with my oldest child. When she became a teenager, I was like, all right, I'm not going to be posting a bunch of pictures of her on Facebook, Instagram, whatever. But I really enjoyed it. Not necessarily because in the moment I was like, hey, look how cute this kid is. But I knew that I'd be able to draw back on those. And I check Facebook memories every day because there's this cute picture of, oh, look, they were running around the yard playing on the sprinklers, and look how adorable they are eating this chocolate cake for their birthday or whatever. And those are cool things for me to look back on, but I, you know, as they've grown, I realize I'm not really going to have that many of those. There's going to be a window of time where there's no pictures of them because I just kind of stopped posting them. So, yeah, I've slowed down quite a bit.

[A]

You know, I used to share family stuff quite a bit, and I always loved it when the memories would pop up, and I also loved it at the end of the year when it would, do, you know, the review of the year make that video that was unsolicited or, you know, you asked for. But I was like, oh, well, well done, Facebook, whoever you are. But I love that. That piece of it. But then over the last six or seven years, I've. I probably don't post 5% as much as I used to for a couple reasons. One, because of our adopted daughter. There were just reasons that was a no, no go. Two, because we all work in the space of marriage and family. I heard this speaker say, do your kids think that they're your content or your kids? I was like, oh, and just kind of checking my own. My own gut of my why I thought I may be doing that to a degree. And so even with Nancy, I stopped sharing as much. But one of the fun things that I've tried to do with her is, is I would say, hey, if I was going to post anything, this is what I would post. And I send it to her. She loves it like that. And so she started doing me the same way. And I'm like, no, I'd rather you post it. Like, you're saying, I'm great and I want you to let others know.

[B]

So.

[A]

But she says no, and she's never posted a lot. So.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I think that's like, I love what you say. That's. That's one of the things that I do love about the Facebook memories kind of things, because, like, all the things that my kids say will pop up, and fortunately, I'll share them with the entire family. And they said so many funny things that there's almost something every day, that every day of the year, and so I'll share it with them, and we'll all laugh about it. My kids will laugh at the, you know, because they don't remember saying these things, but they'll laugh at it. But we do the same thing, Ted. Like, I, I, I think one of the reasons that, that I also got less and less sharing was, is how much it's changed. I mean, you know, like back in 2010 and, you know, 11 and stuff, it was like, I, I just had like, my very closest friends and family who are my friends. And so sharing pictures and stuff. Well, you know, then you get 10 years later and you have like 2, 000 friends and you don't really keep in touch with a lot of different people, and you're like, who wants to see this kind of thing? So I started just sending pictures to, like, my mom and my sisters. Like, hey, this is what our kids are doing. Like, this is, this is hey, proud dad moment. Like, this is. And so, you know, or yeah, like, you come up on a Valentine's Day or an anniversary and you just text your wife alone, you know, rather than, oh, I'm married to the greatest woman on the planet. Like, that's really nice. But I started to think more and more, who wants to see this?

[A]

So that's what we're talking about today, that sharenting is the practice of sharing excessive details, photos and videos of our children on social media and on other online platforms.

[C]

I was looking at where this kind of all came from. And so the term sheranting kind of was originally coined in 2012 by a wall Street Journal reporter who called it oversherenting, which is kind of more on point with it. But it gained traction through the 2010s as social media normalized kind of sharing personal life publicly and became widely used in research and media discussions. So that's kind of where sharing came from. It came from a Wall Street Journal article where it was called oversherenting.

[B]

Yeah, and I know that we're hitting on a topic that really matters because Pew research says that 82% of social media using parents have posted something about their children. So basically, you've done this. Four out of five of you have done this if you're a dad at least one time, probably many times. It's the norm. It's not the exception. People who are kind of living in a modern online world, we have the opportunity, so we take advantage of it and we post pictures of our kids. And there's a lot of reasons why we do it, but this is not an exception. Majority of people are doing this.

[C]

Do you guys feel like Like, I feel like that number is low. Like, okay, we've got, we've got three dads here who are pretty aware of our kids and sensitive to. And we've all posted a lot of stuff about our kids. Like, are. Are the remaining. Is the remaining one out of five, like, just not on the Internet at all. Do they not have a phone or they don't have social media?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I have buddies that I don't know if they've ever posted ever, and they probably never will post. I think there's just, you know, I don't know, you know, out of my closest buddies, you know, you guys don't post that much, and then friends here don't post that much. So I don't know.

[B]

But it's not a matter of, like, do you post daily? Like this? This. Pew Research said 82% of people who use it have done it. And so it's, it's not saying that. Yeah, Ted posts one picture of his kid every single day, you know, for 10 years straight. It's saying, ye, we have done this, and maybe we've regretted this, maybe we've questioned why we do it. It's not necessarily 82% daily, but it's 82% overall. And I do think that's a pretty large number.

[A]

Well, everybody listening right now. The point of this conversation is not to scold anyone. You know, it's honestly to have the question, you know, why. Why are we posting? Before we talk about the risk, I do want to say this. I think people posts, at least in part, for some good reasons. They want to share some memories with people they love. Right. And so, and I think there's also this, this connection, this biggest possible connection is a connectivity with people that we don't see, but that we still love. I mean, have a big family, big extended family, and there's one of my cousins, and she posts pictures of her son. And I love seeing pictures of Howie. And Howie is a kick, man. She posts things that are funny to anybody, whether, you know, Howie or her or not. And so when I saw her family get together, I was like, oh, man, what are you doing? And I felt like I was already connected with her. So I think it just keeps those relationships warm that wouldn't be warm otherwise.

[C]

Well, yeah, and I, I mean, I love that, but that's the thing is I like, I hate what social media has come. Like it's back in the beginning, you would, you, you get on social media and you'd see all these pictures of different people And I do. Like, I love following and seeing family friends and. And family members and their kids and how they're progressing and how they're growing and the funny things that. It's a great way to kind of keep track and see how people are doing, but that's, like, not what it is anymore, you know, I think a

[A]

lot of us started for good reasons. I mean, we're all talking about that here, I think. But I think it's important for us to pause and to say, wait, what am I actually doing here?

[C]

Well, and maybe it's not even you when you think about your kids. It could be grandparents posting things. It could be a spouse posting things. And so when it comes to our kids, it's okay. Do our kids need to be protected? And maybe we need to have some conversations with, you know, a grandparents or family or, you know, a spouse.

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean, we talked a little bit about some of the. The reasons. Here's what's maybe driving Sharon Ting, for one, we have. We live in a social media culture now. Like, you can't escape that. Every smartphone in this country has Facebook on it. For the most part, I'm imagining. Or Instagram or Snapchat or, you know, any of these other ones. And so people are very comfortable sharing personal information because it's kind of built into the culture at this point. Another Dr. Of sharing is connecting with family. You mentioned that, Ted. Like, you've got Howie, and you've got other family members that you love, and you don't see them every single day because you don't live in the same neighborhood. There's a great opportunity to see what they're doing in their life. Pew Research says 76% of parents say that sharing helps them stay connected. So, yeah, I mean, we want to be connected. That's a great thing. Another thing is we want to showcase milestones. Oh, we graduated from kindergarten. Look at this cute picture. Oh, so and so made the team. Here's a picture of him in his uniform or whatever. Parents enjoy documenting those things, and there's. There's really nothing wrong with that. But another reason for sharing is that we can get parenting advice and we can find community. Many people say that it makes them feel a little less alone when they can learn from others. They've gone through certain struggles, and they can share things about their family. Maybe they can get some help. And then lastly, I really do think we've talked about this before. The. The COVID 19 pandemic accelerated things digitally for a lot of people. You weren't really able to get out and see the people face to face that you wanted to. And so online sharing was a good substitute for a lot of people during a COVID lockdown where they could still feel connected. And that just carried over for years and years. And we're still doing it. We're still posting stuff.

[A]

So true. And so I think one big thought is, if everything is public, then what is private? You know, because you think about it, this is the current generation of parents. It's the first in history to be raising kids whose entire lives are going to be recorded digitally. And I don't think we know the downside of what that means of posting online all the time.

[C]

You know, I have a hard time with this because, I mean, look, we. We share stories about our kids on here and, and I've had to really kind of think through that because I. And I'll be honest, like, I always get permission from my kids before I share anything. But there's a big part of me that's like, well, it's not like my. My kids friends are going to be watching this podcast, but then all of a sudden something I've said about my kids gets selected and pulled out and put. And put on Instagram. And. And then I'm still sort of like, well, yeah, but they're probably not. Well, one of the things that I've realized is there's a couple of my son's friends who follow me on Instagram. So my kids were coming to me and being like, hey, like all, you know, they all saw that story that you told about, you know, your dad

[B]

just talked about how you poop with the toilet seat down on the podcast. That's hilarious, buddy.

[C]

Right? Exactly, exactly. So, you know, so it is one of those. And fortunately, my kids have been like, it's fine. They don't. They haven't cared yet. But they might, they might at some point, you know, something might get shared that they're like, hey, I know I gave you permission on that, but, you know, that put me in an awkward spot.

[B]

Yeah, see, this is called the problem of popularity. Bj. You got too many friends. You know, you're. You're just loved by so many people that they just follow you on Instagram and they hang on your every word. This isn't a problem for some of us, but you're doing great. You're doing great. Now, I found something interesting about sharing ting. It's one of the top searches on Google. And so obviously this is something dads are interested in. It's in the top 10. So it's a hot topic. But what was interesting to me is when I was doing some research on this esafety.gov, which kind of tells people how to take care of their kids online, found that by the time a child turns five years old, you can find up to a thousand photos of that child online. A thousand. And by the time they're in kindergarten, which blew my mind. And then I started thinking, hang on, I know some people who may have 3,000 pictures of their kids online by kindergarten. You know, so this is an average. So every dad who's like, I don't really take a lot of pictures and share them online. There's a lot of dads or a lot of families in your circle of friends probably who do this a lot. And it made me wonder, why is this such a hot topic? Why is it a high search on Google? I think it's because they're really truly. If you boil it down, there's a desire to share milestones, to connect with people, especially out of town family. But also this runs into direct conflict with privacy concerns, with safety. And I think we have to think through all of this stuff. As a dad, like we said, we're not shaming anybody here. But you as a dad need to consider why. What is your why for doing this? What is the purpose behind sharing all this information about your kids?

[C]

Yeah, well, and we asked some folks at, at Family first and parents like, you know, do. Do you post? And, and one of the things that we heard back from several was they, they don't post anything that would give away the location of their kids. Like no logos from their school.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Anything that kind of showed where they go to school. No. No vacation photos until they got back. Just making sure that their kids were nobody that was able to scout out where they were online and, and kind of go to where they are, which I thought was smart.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We got friends that do that. They'll put like a little emoji over the kid's face or something on social media. Or they'll put a little sticker over the kids, you know, private school uniform where it has their, the name of the school. That's. That's pretty smart.

[C]

I'm not savvy enough to do anything like, like that. I just, I don't know the which. Which is why I probably shouldn't be posting.

[B]

Ask your kids how to do it. They'll tell you.

[C]

Yeah, right. They'll know how to do it. Yeah.

[A]

Teenage kids love it when you put a big smiley face on top of their face. Yeah, but, you know, we're talking about safety at this point. The other is like, you know, why are you doing this? Why so many photos? Are your kids going to be okay with it? But this is just safety, you know, the safety to that. Well, if sharing is a habit now, to break a habit is. Is to be intentional. If your. Why is that you want to have memories like a digital photo album, you know, maybe you don't change your behavior. You know, for you, that that's working, or maybe you share them in different way. Our kids gave us two things for Christmas that have been really fun for our family. That's sharing photos that are only within our family and then our extended family. One of them is an app that's been around, I think, for, I don't know, over five years, is an app called Be Real. And it sends one notification a day at a random time. And when it goes off, you have a couple of minutes to take a photo of what you're actually doing. And there's no filters and there's no staging, and it uses both sides of the camera at the same time. And what I like about it, it removes this thing to perform and it's sharing real life. And most of it is just for our families. The other is we. We got a photo album. You guys have seen this photo frames that you can upload pictures to. You know, like we're an elderly couple and so they're. They're doing that. But that's been so much fun. And we did it for the grandparents. And so it's sending photos directly to those frames. And that's just for our family. So grandparents especially for those things to pop up, that's a huge deal. But it's a way to do it when you're not. Not in line. You know, not all sharing, you know, has to turn our kids into some kind of content or some kind of star. So again, if everything is public, then what is private? And so I think we need to ask ourselves, you know, why are we doing this? Is it for accolades? Is it for likes? Is it. Do we want comments? And if that's it, then maybe we stop sharing it for a while and kind of check. Why are we doing this?

[B]

Yeah, well, a lot of people have come to that conclusion. Our producer, Corey told me a story, and it kind of made me think. I kind of stopped and I was like, huh, this is a great idea. He has a buddy who told him this line. He says, I'm no Longer going to give other people permission to like my daughter online. And I was like, oh, gosh, what a wild statement that is. And it's true, though. Like, we take a picture, we send it out, oh, this is beautiful. And then everyone who looks at it has the choice now to either comment on your kid, like this picture of your kid. I don't think they can share the picture of your kid, but they can interact with it. And that story that Corey told me really made me think about what's our motivation here.

[C]

I mean, I think the online presence thing kind of boils down to this. Who do you want your kids to be? Do you want them to be your kids or do you want them to be your content? And I love that question that you asked in the beginning, Ted, that, that, that really kind of checks our heart with this. You know, when we put our kids out there as content, we put them out to be commented on, to be liked or not liked. There's a great commercial. I absolutely loved it. And I was. And it kind of hit me through the heart. It's like a, it's like a parent and a child walking around town and everywhere they go, like they go to the grocery store and they're like, there are these older women like, oh, yeah, I saw you won an award in school this week. And you know, and the kid is just sort of, sort of taken back by it, you know, it's like an 8 year old. And I think the thing that killed me at the end is like, there was a lot of things that was like, you just sort of felt weird, you know, when people were like, hey, you know, I saw that you went to this place. I saw you went to McDonald's over the weekend. Was that nice? You know, and the kid is sort of uncomfortable. The thing that took it over the top at the end was there was an adult man that came up to the child and was like, hey, keep those beach pictures coming. You know, like. And it was just sort of like, yuck. Like, absolutely yuck. And so, you know, we might think it's innocent, but who knows what people out there are consuming and zeroing in on with your kids.

[A]

Wow, that's.

[B]

I don't really like that story, bj. Thanks for that. That's great.

[C]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It hit me the same way. I was like, oh, I just wanted to take all pictures of my kids off, you know, particularly you're not thinking, you're like, oh yeah, beach picture. Yeah, let's take a photo, you know, sure.

[A]

So it's so hard because it's not wrong. Right. It's. It's doing exactly that. You know, and we say this on the podcast all the time. Our kids are following our example, and I think it's important for us to note that the way we share information online will shape how our kids will choose to share someday. You know, they're learning once again what is. What's private versus what's public.

[C]

Yeah, well, and you can't with that. With that discussion. You can't be passive. You can't wait. You can't sit back and just sort of wait for your kids to figure this out through experience, you know, the. The stuff that they're sharing, because it really can be a dangerous game with the stuff that they share, not only. Not only in terms of predatorial behavior out there, but just in terms of inappropriate stuff that they could share that could be on the Internet forever and. And could show up in job interviews and everywhere else. So we've got. We've got to be vigilant in modeling the right thing and talking to them about it. And I think most parents would agree that kids should be careful about what they put online and maybe even communicate to that to their kids, but at the same time, are unaware of the fact that they are posting things about their kids that may affect their kids down the line and aren't necessarily modeling what they're telling their kids. Parents have already done what they're telling their kids not to do.

[A]

This is so important, you guys, because as someone who has older kids who are applying for jobs, you know, some of their first jobs out of college, everything is being evaluated on their social platforms. Now, my boys are not big posters at all, thank goodness. But my second son was interviewing for a job, and I went through social because I wanted to know, is there anything you need to take down? And so this is a big issue, and it's there for life. And so if we're just, you know, we're throwing things up there, if we're sharing all the time, then they're learning from us. And so. And that's a big deal.

[B]

Yeah. If you're going to ask your kids to be careful, you got to take some of your own medicine, dad. Like, you need to be careful of what you're doing as well. See, my kids are a little bit younger. My oldest is a teenager, but the other two are much younger. And, you know, they don't really have unsupervised Internet access. They don't have social media. They don't have the ability to share anything, quite honestly. But guess who they watch? Mom and dad. And like, we have all sorts of, like, if you want to call it bad habits where we can share things online. And that's not great because even if they don't have the device in their hands, they're seeing somebody with one in their hands and have the ability to broadcast whatever we want about them whenever we want. And we shouldn't do that all the time. Again, there's good and bad to this. We discussed the pros. There's a lot of pros to, you know, taking pictures, sharing stuff with family and all that. But we need to teach kids well about hosting the right time and the wrong time. And I think that there's some nuance to that. Every family is going to be different. But that's why we want you to think about it, dad. Is every single moment broadcast worthy? Probably not. Are milestones important? Maybe those are. But you need to think about this with your family and really discuss it with your kids because you may have a totally different comfort level than they do. And. And it's an important, you know, conversation to have.

[A]

Well, and I think there's questions that we can ask ourselves and we can encourage our kids to ask before we post to consider a few things. Number one, why is this photo important for everyone to see? Two, who gains from me sharing this? And number three, is there potential for embarrassment years from now called kid lash, which is backlash on parents for sharing what they could have kept private?

[C]

I love that. I love that second question. To me, that to check the motivation, you know, like, who is the person who has something to gain here? Like, are you posting? Why are you posting? Are you posting because you want. You'd like some family to see what's happened, or are you trying to gain some attention for yourself? I think that's a. That is a. To me, that's a very convicting question.

[B]

I think the concept of, like, Facebook friends is just mislabeled. I think it's more of Facebook acquaintances. Oh, I know you. Oh, yeah, we went to middle school. Yeah, sure. Friend. And I think that we could do well to curate that list. You know what I mean? So that we don't feel as guilty about sharing that information. Because if you were to text directly to your mom or your sister or whomever a picture of your child, you feel really good about that. It's one to one direct contact. But when you go through Facebook and you mention 1000, 1500, 2000 friends, whatever it is, on your Facebook page. BJ, how many of those people have you talked in the last three months?

[C]

Yeah. Not a lot.

[B]

Two dozen, like, right. Are you really friends?

[C]

A dozen? Two dozen. Be a lot.

[B]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, how close. How are we using the word friends? It's a pretty broad term. And so if you wouldn't directly text that picture to somebody, would you share it on Facebook for the person you haven't talked to in six years?

[C]

Sure.

[B]

That's a good question to ask.

[A]

Yeah, maybe that's one of the questions is, you know, should I accept this friend request? Like, what's the grid? What's that grid for that. Because, you know, I used to. Sure, sure, sure. Except friend. Except friend. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, especially the people. I have no idea who they are. You know, that was one of my things, you know, looking at mine, going over 2000 friends. I don't have 2000 friends. I don't know. I would be interested to go back through and say, okay, do I know these people?

[C]

The thing that got me, I think lately is Instagram, because I didn't put any kind of restrictions around who can follow me and who can't. And several years ago, my kids dressed up like Brooklyn Nine nine, along with a couple of their friends, like the characters from Brooklyn 99 for Halloween. And I thought it was hilarious and. And it was great. And I got their permission. I was like, I would love to post this. So I posted it with the theme music in the beginning and. And just kind of put it out there. And, you know, and there were a couple of other kids, you know, whose parents were like, yeah, whatever, post it. And, And. But what I've noticed is, and I had to change the security around it that kept getting shared by people that I didn't know who kept sharing it to there. And it was like these, you know, only fans, people that, like, are trying to get folks to. To their websites. And so I had to change the security around it because I was like, oh, my gosh, who's sharing this thing of my teenagers? So, yeah, yeah, it's. It can get pretty weird and scary and all that stuff.

[A]

Yeah. And you're talking about safety, right? We're talking about safety and all this. We're talking about relational safety, but also even physical safety. According to esafety.gov, here are some tips to share your photos safely. Number one is set the highest possible privacy settings. Number two is review online contacts to make sure they're people you Trust, which we were just talking about. Avoid revealing location routines or uniforms, and consider using email or private group messages for regular updates.

[B]

Yeah, one thing you can also do is go check the metadata and the geolocation settings on your phone. You may not even know that the settings are set up right now to when you take a photo, it tags a location where it was taken. And that access that can be accessed by anybody if you don't turn it off. So go to settings, Google how to do that on your cell phone. Turn that location setting off. That's just one layer of privacy that you know is a good thing to have on all your photos if you're going to share it. At least it's a little more private that way, you know. But I also think we talked about this. If you can involve your children in the process, it's probably not a bad idea. Have family conversations about the purpose of posting things. We've actually had a handful of conversations on the AllPro dad podcast about this already. You can go back and listen to episode 109 about online influencers, who your kids are learning from, who they're watching online. That's a really good conversation. And then also episode 95, it's about the challenges that Gen Alpha is facing. Gen Alpha is, you know, the parenting generation that I'm, you know, parenting right now. And so I think it hits a lot of the listeners probably who are, you know, engaging with our podcast. So go check that one out. Episode 95. Kids are constantly going to be watching us. They're going to be learning from us. They're going to be comparing themselves to us. And if they see us doing this, well, gold star for you, dad. If they see us doing it poorly, that's not going to be good for them in the long run. So just consider all those things.

[A]

That's good, Bobby. I think that's a perfect transition into our pro move of the week, which is to have a conversation with your kids about sharing information online, ask them about the pros and cons, and decide who you want your family to be online. Thank you again to BJ and Bobby for this great discussion. If you like our podcast, you'll love our daily emails. We have a link in the show Notes where you can sign up for the All Pro Dad Play of the Day. It's a short email with helpful fatherhood advice and tips sent straight to your inbox. And as always, we want to thank you for listening. We know that you and your kids will be glad you did.

[C]

Thanks again for listening to the All Pro dad podcast. Behind every episode is our amazing team producer Haley Mwat, audio and video editor Buck Buchanan, and production coordinator Corey Walliff. All Pro dad is the fatherhood program of the nonprofit family firm, along with our motherhood program, imom. We exist to help you love your family well, so remember, if you have more questions than answers, then you're probably in the right place. See you next time.