All Pro Dad Podcast: "What Does It Mean To Be a Protector?" (June 16, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, host Ted Lowe and co-host B.J. Foster dive into the question: What does it truly mean to be a protector as a dad? Using real-life stories, practical advice, and heartfelt wisdom, they unpack the everyday—and not-so-everyday—ways fathers can shield, guide, and nurture their children physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, and spiritually. The conversation balances humor, vulnerability, and actionable takeaways, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own approach to fatherhood.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Image of a Protector: More Than “Superhero Moments”

• Heroic Example ([00:20]):
  Ted begins by recounting the story of Anolfo Casillas, a father who saved his family from the destructive Tubbs Fire by bravely sheltering them in a pool, suffering burns to keep them safe.
  • “Just an amazing heroic action from this one particular dad.” – Ted ([01:16])
• Beyond Emergencies:
  The hosts emphasize that being a protector isn’t just about dramatic rescues, but is shown in “the everyday things that happen with our kids.” – Ted ([01:21])

2. Lessons from Their Own Fathers

• Preparation vs. Rescue ([01:55]):
  • B.J. reflects that his own father chose preparation over constant intervention:
    “He would let me experience, give me comments and wisdom…but if my circumstances were overwhelming, then he'd step down.”
• Handling Bullying ([02:34]):
  • B.J. shares a vulnerable story about being bullied, where his mother made him confront the bully, but his father intervened at the right moment—by reaching out to the bully’s dad in a compassionate way:
    “He kind of said, you know, your son’s a leader.…If he applied it this way instead of this way, he would be much more fruitful. And I think that made an impact.” – B.J. ([03:26])

3. Five Areas of Protection

Each area is broken down with stories and practical advice.

Physical Protection ([04:17])

• Fathers provide a strong sense of physical security simply by their presence.
• “When my dad…came home, there was just something that felt like I was safer.” – Ted ([04:45])
• Examples: Grabbing a child to stop them from danger, shielding them physically.

Emotional Protection ([05:08])

• Creating a safe space for kids to express emotions without being shut down.
• “It's so huge to be their protector emotionally by letting them have emotions. Don't be disrespectful. But I'm gonna remain calm, and I'm gonna be. I'm going to feel like a protector because I'm so safe to talk to.” – Ted ([05:53])
• Both hosts admit this can be uncomfortable and takes willpower.
• Memorable quote:
  “I just want to wrap it up quick. Whereas, you know, they are a person who have difficult emotions...and if you're going to be a safe place, you're going to have to have the willpower to sit in that with them.” – B.J. ([06:21])

Mental Protection ([10:32])

• Guidance through challenges and building resilience outside moments of emotional distress.
• B.J. shares regret over times he disengaged instead of staying present: “It breaks my heart now thinking about it. And my daughter said to me…‘when you do that, it really hurts.’ …If I do that to her, she's gonna expect her future husband to do that to her.” – B.J. ([10:32])

Social Protection ([12:56])

• Advocating for children in social settings, supervising online behavior, and teaching them to handle peer dynamics and threats.
• Story: Ted recalls when his father stood ready to advocate for him at school, making him feel deeply protected, even though his dad was usually “hands off.”
  “I have never felt more protected socially than I did in that moment.” – Ted ([14:06])
• Real-world dangers are discussed, including preparing kids—especially daughters—to navigate risky social situations like those involving drugs or manipulation in public places.

Spiritual Protection ([17:26])

• Praying over children, whether or not one is religious, is considered a meaningful practice.
• “Praying protection over your kids…at a bare minimum, it's going to get you to focus in and think about your kids and their needs and where you need to step in.” – B.J. ([18:21])
• “There is a God who loves my kids more than even I do. And so I am going to invite that God to come in and help me protect. By all means.” – B.J. ([18:53])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Presence:
  “The willpower. That's the perfect way. I've always been naturally a fixer and a teacher. …But like you said, it's the willpower to sit there being comfortable for them and for you. Because I want to rescue my kids. Right. I want to emotionally jump. Jump and put them in the pool.” – Ted ([06:49])

• On Engaged Fathering:
  “You have to be engaged, right?...That's a problem there. There's. There's no protection in there. There's no fathering going on there.” – B.J. ([09:16])

• On Preparing Kids for the Real World:
  “My kids refer to my dad as OSHA just because he is the ultimate, like, here's what could happen. This could go wrong. So my whole life, it was always worst case scenario.” – B.J. ([16:09])

• On Praying for Kids:
  “Praying for your kids is never going to hurt. It's only going to help.” – B.J. ([18:21])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Heroic Dad Story (Tubbs Fire): [00:20]–[01:16]
• Reflections on Their Own Fathers: [01:45]–[03:59]
• Physical Protection: [04:17]–[05:08]
• Emotional Protection: [05:08]–[07:13]
• Mentally Protecting and Teaching Resilience: [10:14]–[12:56]
• Social Protection and Real-World Prep: [12:56]–[17:26]
• Spiritual Protection and Role of Prayer: [17:26]–[18:56]
• Pro Move of the Week (Actionable Challenge): [19:14]

Pro Move of the Week

Challenge to Listeners ([19:14]):
Take time this week to intentionally protect your kids in one area:

• Physical
• Emotional
• Mental
• Social
• Spiritual
  Pick one and focus on a concrete action or improvement.

Final Thoughts

Ted and B.J. make it clear: being a protector is more than heroic moments—it's a way of consistently showing up, being engaged, and helping kids become resilient, wise, and secure. Their stories, admissions of imperfection, and genuine desire to grow as dads make this episode both practical and inspiring for fathers at any stage.