266: Should I Let My Teen Be Intimate at Home?

Summary

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Episode Summary

Episode 266: Should I Let My Teen Be Intimate at Home?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens
April 7, 2026
Hosts: Dr. Lisa Damour & Reena Ninan

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Overview

This episode tackles one of the most fraught and rarely discussed questions in parenting teens: Should parents allow their teen to be intimate—or have sex—in the family home? Responding to a brief but loaded listener letter about a 17-year-old wanting to be intimate with his girlfriend at home, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan unpack complex feelings, societal norms, cultural considerations, and practical guidance for families facing this dilemma. The discussion focuses on balancing parental values, adolescent development, consent, communication, and what science tells us about adolescent sexual behavior.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Parent Anxiety and Adolescent Sexuality

• Opening the Conversation ([01:03])
  • The listener’s question exposes the tension between not wanting to "feel wrong" allowing sex at home but also not wanting teens to be in unsafe or uncomfortable situations (e.g., in a car).
  • Dr. Lisa expresses no personal alarm at a 17-year-old having sex, so long as the person is of appropriate age and it’s within a relationship:

    “It does not, given my role as a psychologist who cares for teenagers, it does not on its own make me anxious that a 17-year-old's having sex.” (Dr. Lisa, [01:42])

2. Age, Consent, and Context

• Higher Standards for Young People ([02:14]–[04:01])
  • For teens especially, the context of the relationship matters: is the intimacy mutual, kind, ongoing, and healthy?
  • Dr. Lisa wants teens to be able to both know and express what they want, and ensure mutuality and care:

    “Is it mutual? Is it kind? ... For young people especially, is it in the context of an ongoing relationship? That would always be my preference.” (Dr. Lisa, [03:15])

3. Changing Sexual Norms & Data

• Fewer Teens Are Having Sex ([05:27]–[07:54])
  • Today, less than a third of teens have had sex in high school, compared to well over 50% a generation ago.
  • Issues of digital intimacy (e.g., sexting) are on the rise.
  • Benefits observed: fewer unwanted pregnancies and lower STD transmission (with caveats about types of birth control shifting trends).

4. The Awkwardness of “Sanctioning” Sex

• Cultural Differences ([10:06]–[12:42])
  • In the US, it is rare and often uncomfortable for parents to explicitly allow or facilitate teen sex at home, compared to some European countries (notably the Dutch), where sexuality is openly normalized and discussed.
  • Dr. Lisa notes:

    “This is an American value that we don’t necessarily serve our homes up as the place for our kids to be sexually active.” (Dr. Lisa, [10:20])

  • She suggests that if a parent does allow intimacy at home, it’s worthwhile to discuss why, as it may feel “weird” or unsettling even to teens.

5. Considering the Partner’s Family

• Parents need to consider how the other teen's family might feel about sex occurring in their home, and risk conflict or discomfort if discovered ([13:00]).

  “A parent of a child of any gender finds out that another set of parents have knowingly given their home over ... might have a hard time with it.” (Dr. Lisa, [13:00])

6. Boundaries, Teen Rebellion, and Privacy

• The Role of Rules ([14:35]–[16:43])
  • A bit of “friction” between what teens want and parents permit is normal and even necessary in adolescence.
  • Not providing a place for sex can be a reasonable parental boundary, affirming the privacy and separation between parent and teen sexual lives.
  • Sometimes, not knowing details (“just don’t do it here”) upholds healthy limits without undermining trust.

7. Practical Guidance for Sex Conversations

• How to Talk About Sex ([17:29]–[21:36])
  • Dr. Lisa lays out a model for healthy physical intimacy:
    1. What do you want? (Self-awareness and agency)
    2. What does the other person want? (Consideration of partner)
    3. What do both want? (Mutual enthusiastic agreement, not just technical consent)
    4. What are the hazards? (Pragmatic consideration of risks)
  • Emphasize core family values and communicate them, even if teens act indifferent—it shapes behavior.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the “Girlfriend” Label:

  “In today's adolescent world... that's a big deal. That label is a big deal.”
  (Dr. Lisa, [04:15])

• Reena’s Relatability:

  “When you think at 17, this is my forever after. I just feel like your perspective is so warped.”
  (Reena, [04:01])

• On Dutch Sexual Health Outcomes:

  “They also have the best adolescent sexual health outcomes in the world... When they do have sex, they do it in a safer, healthier way. They’re more likely to use contraception, less likely to have unwanted outcomes. Sometimes that's what the worry is, like, if we're sex positive, then it's going to be... buck wild. Actually, it’s the opposite.”
  (Dr. Lisa, [27:34])

• Consent vs. Enthusiastic Agreement:

  “I actually don’t love the term consent... Usually, you don’t have enough trust to find out what each of you want... What’s a hell yes for both of you?”
  (Dr. Lisa, [19:13])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:03] – Listener Question Read
• [01:42] – Dr. Lisa Normalizes Teen Sexuality If Age-Appropriate
• [03:15] – Standards and Concerns Around Adolescent Intimacy
• [05:27] – Trends in Teen Sexual Activity
• [10:20] – American vs. European (Dutch) Approaches
• [13:00] – Considering Partner’s Parental Reaction
• [14:35] – The Value of Parental Limits and Teen Agency
• [17:29] – How to Talk to Teens About Sex: Dr. Lisa’s Four-Part Model
• [21:36] – “Don’t do it in the house” as a Reasonable Boundary
• [27:34] – Why Sex-Positive Cultures Have Better Sexual Health Outcomes

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Practical Takeaways

• It’s okay—and often healthiest—for parents to set their own comfort-based boundaries (“Don’t do it in our house”).
• Open, values-focused, and pragmatic sex conversations are protective, not permissive.
• Normalizing and discussing desire, mutual care, and risks leads to healthier teen outcomes.
• Short conversations, repeated over time, are more effective than “big talks.”

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Parenting To Go ([27:34])

Dr. Lisa highlights a key research-backed finding:
When parents and cultures take a positive, open approach to discussing healthy physical intimacy, teens do not have more sex, but when they do, the outcomes (health, safety, agency) are much better.

“When we talk openly about desire... you get all the outcomes we are hoping for, which is healthier, safer sex.”
(Dr. Lisa, [27:34])

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In summary:
This episode affirms that there’s no “one right answer,” but calls for clarity about family values, open discussion, and clear boundaries around adolescent sexuality. The healthiest teens are those whose families discuss desire, safety, and mutuality—even if that means saying “not under our roof.”

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Transcript

[A]

Tell me a parenting issue everyone struggles with with tweens and teens, but no one talks about Rena.

[B]

I think a lot of people feel like they just don't know how to connect to their kid anymore.

[A]

I'm Rena Neinen and welcome to Ask Lisa the Psychology of Raising Tweens and teens.

[B]

And I'm Dr. Lisa Damore. We bring you science backed strategies for managing anxiety, discipline, intense emotions and more.

[A]

We decode tough parenting issues with tips you can use right now. So subscribe to Ask Lisa the Psychology of Raising Tweens and Teens and join our YouTube community. Today just Google Ask Lisa podcast.

[B]

We're here to help you untangle family life.

[A]

Episode 266 Should I let my teen be intimate at home? So, piercings last week and this week. Should your kid have sex in your house?

[B]

We like our teen spicy and they give us much to work with.

[A]

Oh my gosh, I can't wait to dive in. I'm just going to read you. This is probably the shortest letter we've ever gotten. It just says this. Dear Dr. Lisa, should I let my 17 year old have sex with his girlfriend at our home? It feels wrong, but I don't want him to do it in the car. Help. In all capital letters, exclamation point. That.

[B]

Oh, man. But it says so much. There's so much in there.

[A]

There is so much in there. Where should we begin?

[B]

It's got all the information I would want. How old? Who's he having sex with? Right, So, I mean, the kid's 17.

[A]

Yeah. So what do you think? 17 year old wanting to have sex in the house?

[B]

Well, okay, let's take the 17 year old wanting to have sex. Well, first of all, and I really appreciate that this parent's like, the kid's gonna be having sex, right? They're gonna be doing it in our house. They're gonna be doing it. Are. It does not, given my role as a psychologist who cares for teenagers, it does not on its own make me anxious that a 17 year old's having sex. I worry about younger kids having sex. Of course, I know that there are.

[A]

Is there an age that you worry about where it's like questionable?

[B]

You know, I mean, I think there's certain ages where we're just like, that's a kid. You know, it just doesn't even make sense for them to be having sex. I think once things start to move up in age and maybe you're in some zone that feels like, I don't know, like, is this appropriate? I would Have a lot of questions about can they take very good care of themselves and their partner through this. Is this something that both people want? Is this mutual? Is this loving? Is this like I, I, I would have a, like I would hold a, you know, like we'd like to think there's a high standard generally though, of course I think that there's certainly, it's interesting, you're making me like question all my sexual ethics here. I think there's ages, I think there's ages where we can say, you know, if people want to have, you know, one night stands, you know, and that's how they enjoy, you know, physical intimacy, like that's their call. I don't feel great about that. For teenagers, I, I have real questions about whether that is really mutual, whether that is really safe, whether consent is really entirely worked out. So I think as I talk it through, I would probably hold higher standards for young people, adolescents and even young adults around like what's all around the sexual intimacy. Like is there, you know, are they able to know what their partner really wants to have happen? Are they able to express to their partner what they themselves really want to have happen? Is it mutual? Is it kind, you know, like all of those things? You know, I think for young people especially is it in the context of an ongoing relationship? Like that would always be my preference. I think that. But I feel like there's 17.

[A]

When you think at 17, this is my forever after. You're, I just feel like your perspective is so warped. What I believed in high school is very different from what I believe is a 46 year old and what I can see down the road coming. Right.

[B]

Well that's exactly right. Right. I mean how the kid feels about it or the teenager feels about it and how they may see it when they're an adult. Now this is a girlfriend, right? And this, this person's being called a girlfriend. And one thing I can say about teenagers is that's a pretty high bar these days to refer to somebody as a girlfriend or a boyfriend like that in today's adolescent world, you know, and I, I don't know that the parents view of it maps perfectly onto the kids view of it. But let's say for the sake of argument that this boy calls this his girlfriend. You know, in today's adolescent world, like that's, that's a big deal. That, that label is a big deal. So I think for the sake of argument, like it sounds like they're in an ongoing relationship that's like, you know, from, you know, we have very little information to work with. Like, let's also assume it's just a healthy one. But so what I'll say, Reena, is 17 year olds having sex in the context of an ongoing relationship with somebody they're calling, you know, especially, you know, some sort of labeled partnership doesn't really, is not a flag for me. You know, of course, parents values, parents, religious views, like that is all individual family stuff. One of the flags we actually have is like kids aren't even having sex these days. Kids are having so much less sex.

[A]

Tell me about that more the research that shows. Because I actually feel like in this day and age it's okay not to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Like I have to, I feel like telling people it's okay that you haven't had sex. You don't have to have sex by the time you're in the 11th grade, you know.

[B]

Well, definitely it is. And actually it's more the norm not to. So we're at a place and I don't, I don't have strong opinions about this really one way or the other, but we're at a place where Today only about 30% of kids have sex while they're in high school, whereas when we were in high school it was way over 50%. So the numbers. So today's kids are actually having sex later and with fewer partners than their parents generation did, you know, and make of this what you will, right? I mean, some of it is probably good, right, that delayed intercourse is probably going to be healthier and safer and happier than early intercourse. Some of it may be that kids don't have to leave their house to be having a sexual interaction. Right? Kids are now using their phone to have all sorts of sexual activity and sharing images, which is its own thing. You know, if we wanted to mess around with someone when we were in high school, we had to go be with them physically. Kids don't have to do that anymore. So, you know, when the rates of intercourse drop, you know, heterosexual intercourse for sure, we also see things like unwanted pregnancies drop. You know, we see, you know, STD transmission drop. Like there's a lot to be said for that. The STD transmission question's a little bit tricky right now because increasingly girls are using long acting birth control and not using condoms because they're using long acting birth control. And so I don't think we have, I think the STD numbers are probably not tracking as much with the intercourse numbers as maybe was true in the past because of the shifts in birth control. But bottom line, kids are not having that much sex compared to their parents generation. And so there's a part of me that's like if they're having sex and if they're having sex in the context of an ongoing relationship, like I don't, you know, unless it doesn't go, unless it goes against your cultural and religious values, there's a part of me that's like, well, okay, okay, like this is part of what teenagers do.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

But you know, even in this very short two sentence letter, the dad still, or whoever this parent is, I should say, feels, you know, a little bit wrong about them having sex in their household. So what do you make of that?

[B]

I think that's a lot of. I think a lot of families would feel that way. And I get it. Like, I get it. You're like, okay, it's one thing for you to be having sex, it's another thing for you having sex in your childhood bedroom. Whether we're home or not. And even probably weirder if we're home, right? This is an American value that we don't necessarily serve our homes up as the place for our kids to be sexually active. Or maybe there's even a line like, well, you can make out but you can't have intercourse. I mean, who knows? Not every country sees it this way. European countries have a much, well, the view of Europeans, I think generally speaking for all Europeans, as though I have the right to do that, is that Americans have a lot of hangups around sex. They're much more easygoing about it. And then the Dutch really lead the way in treating sex and intercourse as just a very natural part of healthy development. Even to the degree that parents will be in touch with their adolescents about like, you know, is the sex good? Are you having a good experience? Right? I mean, like, can you imagine?

[A]

I could never imagine having a sex experience.

[B]

Not in the US we do not do it that way. We do not do it that way in the U.S. i mean, which isn't to say some families, you know, of course do it. But like, so I think the question of like, sanctioning, like openly being like, oh, yeah, that's you. What time are you guys? What time should we come home? Right? I mean, like, whatever it is where you're like openly doing it, it's just not so much American culture. Which then raises the question of if you're going to do it, you need to talk about, like, why you're departing from it. I guess where I'm driving with this is it's gonna strike American kids as weird for their family to say, we're gonna make room and space and make it easy for you to have sex in the home. And it actually, it's interesting, it attaches very much to our conversation last week about there needing to be friction, kids needing to have something where they're doing or wanting something the parent doesn't want in the name of. Just like, that's what teenagers are supposed to do. So if you roll over on this thing, which, at least in our culture, we're pretty uniform in the US about. Not across the board, but, like, it's sort of our view. I think a kid might be like, really? You're okay with this? And then you've got that problem.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. I never thought of that as being a problem. What about the girlfriend's family, do you think? Do you. This is so awkward. I don't want to pick up the phone and talk to, you know, my. My child's partner's parents about this.

[B]

Yeah. Like, so. Hey. Hi. Our kids are having sex. Let's talk about that.

[A]

Right?

[B]

What? I think there is a question mark here because I can easily picture a scenario where a parent of a child of any gender. I'm not saying just because this is kid's a girl. A parent of a child of any gender finds out that another set of parents have knowingly given their home over for their kid to be having sex at that house. Having a hard time with it. Like, I mean, again, in the US I could see that being something where people are like, no, wait a minute. You are knowingly letting my kid have sex at your house, like, with your permission? Or maybe when you're there, like, hold the phone. And so I just think we want to be considerate on this point. Now, I do love that this is a two sentence letter and it actually has so much in it. But so I'm gonna defer to the letter writer's broader contextual knowledge. Right. About whether there's something to be said to the son of, like, you know what, dude? Like, we'd be fine with it, but I can't. If I run into, you know, her mom in the grocery store, I'm not gonna be able to, like, yes. Feel good about it knowing that I am letting her have sex in our house. So you need to come up with another solution.

[A]

What about sex in the car? Where do you stand on that?

[B]

I think it's really funny. I think. I don't know. Where do you stand on sex and cars?

[A]

Rena, I'm not the psychologist. I'm deferring on this one.

[B]

You're gonna wiggle out of this one. Okay. No, no.

[A]

I mean, first of all.

[B]

But is it some of it at

[A]

that age, like, the thrill of, you know, kind of getting away? I just, I find this sort of like, I almost can't believe we're having this conversation. Because when you're a teen, it's all about kind of Sometimes pushing up against

[B]

those rules and not.

[A]

And so does it change the nature of what you're doing if you've got permission from your parents to all this, you know?

[B]

Well, I think a little bit. Right. I mean, I think that is the problem of the. Like, yeah, sure. You know, just let us know when to come home. I mean, I think it. It may not sit right with some kids. So I was. You know how Dolly Parton put out that rock Star album where she covered all of those rock songs. And like, like Dolly Parton, like, she's like on my do no wrong list, right? I mean, she's like a goddess of all goddesses. Yes, we love Dolly. Um, so one of the songs that she covered is Night Moves and she and Chris Stapleton sing it. And it's I love Chris Stapleton. And like, Reena, you gotta listen to this song because it's like, I mean, I should, I should know like when it came out, but it came out a generation ago. And the whole song is about teenagers having sex everywhere. They're like, in the car, in the woods, right? And first of all, like, it's such a crack up to listen to it because it is such a. Like, it's a song we grew up with. A song that nobody felt was scandalous at all. And the whole thing is about teenagers, like, having sex. I mean, the title is about teenagers having sex and then very casually about like, all the random places they were having sex. So I do think there is a little room in here for the parent to say, or any parent to say, look, I get it that you're sexually active. I trust that you are taking very good care of yourself and your partner and everybody's, you know, doing what they mean to do and doing what they want to do and doing it safely. We're not going to be in the business of providing a place for you to have sex. You're going to figure this one out on your own. Like, and, you know, I think back to, back to where we landed last week at the end. Like, there are a lot of compromises in parenting teenagers. And you might be like, I just don't want to know where you're having sex.

[A]

Yes, well, you know, I just think that we don't even have basic conversations about sex. Like early on, preteen or, you know, tween years maybe we've spoken a little bit about the birds and the bees and quick, fast conversations. You've taught us that sometimes in the car where you don't have to make eye contact is A good way to, you know, drop some information. But what do you want parents who have teens that might be 16, 17, what do you want them to say? Doesn't have to be a long conversation. But what should we be articulating about sex in this moment? Especially with the generation who's really not, as you said, as sexually active? Like, what should we be saying about that?

[B]

I think the overriding approach to this, there's two trains that need to be considered. One is what are the family's values around this? And I think it's really important that we communicate our values as families. And, you know, families are going to have different values and what we know. And I've shared this before, and I think it's so important when you communicate your values about things like kids actually listen. And we also know from the data, it shapes their behavior. Now they're going to roll their eyes and grunt at you when you do it, which is normal and to be expected. So I think the first thing, once you get to the question of, like, intercourse, I think the first thing you say is like, here's what we believe is a family, right? So some families may say that happens when you're married. You know, some families might say when you're engaged that. Some families might say, you know, at least somebody bought you dinner, right? I mean, like, you get to decide as a family what your values are and tell your kid your values, right? That, that is, that's part of what we're here for. Doesn't mean you can control your kid. Doesn't mean you can make them do what you want them to do. But there's every reason to say, this is how we have, you know, how I think about it as a family or how as an adult, this is what I think. So that's the first train. And then I think the second train is, you know, whenever I've talked in classroom settings, which I've done often with adolescents, about physical intimacy, I've said, like, there's four things that you have to pay attention to in this order. So number one, what do you want? Right? For kids, if you're gonna be physically intimate, it's because you want this, right? And, you know, I once said this to a group of 9th grade girls and one of the girls just blurted out, she goes, no one has ever said that. And I'm like, that's right.

[A]

No one has ever said, is this what you want?

[B]

Yeah, like tune into what you want, right? Like, there's such a presumption of desire in boys and There's. We tend to leave that to the side in girls. Or we don't even acknowledge it. So number one, like, what do you want to have happen? And then number two is, what does the person you're with want to have happen? And, you know, then I would say, like, you have to know them well enough to actually find this out and have this conversation. And I would say this is the problem with drive by physical interactions is that usually you don't have enough of a shared relationship or trust to find out what each of you want. Right? And those are so central to healthy intimacy. And then the third question is, what do we both want? Right? What's in that Boolean, you know, overlap of mutual desire. This is usually where we use the term consent. I actually don't love the term consent, to be honest. Consent is like a really good term. Consent is, did you get permission? And I have seen it unfortunately used in a way where a kid will badger another kid into doing something until finally the other kid gives in and like, okay, yeah, great. Technically they got consent. This is not what this should look like. So it should be a, what do you want? What does your partner want? And then what's a hell yes for both of you? And then the last is, what are the hazards? What are the risks? You know, could somebody get pregnant if this is heterosexual? Could somebody have, you know, an std? Could somebody think that this now means that you're a couple where the other person doesn't think it means that? Like, how do you manage the downsides, the potential downsides? And you know what I love about this model? You know, so what do you want? What does your partner want? What do you both want? Are there hazards? You can use hand holding as an example, right? You don't even have to, like, you can start this conversation way younger long before we're talking about things like intercourse. So, like, well, do you want to hold that person's hand? Do they want to hold your hand? Like, do you, like, you can use those sort of, for lack of a better term, like JV examples to lay out the model. So if we're talking with kids about physical intimacy, number one is your values and communicating those. And number two is communicating like what it looks like when it's healthy and treating physical intimacy as part of healthy development. But what you do at what ages, you know, maybe viewed differently by different families, it certainly will be.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

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[A]

I want to go back to this letter. What do you think this parent should do? What would your advice be for this parent?

[B]

I think it's so slim in its data, which is still fine. Like I really like how short this letter is. I think if it doesn't feel right to the parent, it doesn't feel good to the parent to make space in her home for them to be having intercourse. I don't think she should. Like, I just, I feel like, you know, we get to have our opinions, we get to have our views of things. I think, you know, I've actually seen families Handle this. Where, you know, they just say, like, just don't do it here. But then, you know, sometimes they, you know, are aware that the kid is doing it, and, you know, kids figuring it out anyway, but they just sort of, like, leave it a bit to the side. They don't get deep into it, but they just do make that one rule. It's interesting. The other thing about sex is, like, it is private. You know, it's something we see as private. And this came up when we were talking about masturbation. Right. Like, one of the things is, like, it's actually not necessarily something where there should be no boundary between the kid and the parent about it. Like, it's actually, at least in our culture, like, you keep a boundary around adult sexuality and whatever adolescents are up to. So I think that it would be okay for the parent to say, don't do it in our house and make sure it's safe and loving and mutual and just stop there. I think that that would be an acceptable thing to do. And then, you know, you run the risk of kids doing it in the car. Well, okay.

[A]

Great advice, Lisa, and thank you for also saying that kids are having sex at lesser rates. Because I think when you're of a generation where maybe some people have had sex in high school or had, you know, been around a culture, let's say, of just this being okay and acceptable and the norm, I guess the norm. I think that there are also a lot of parents who are worried developmentally, like, there's no boyfriend, there's no girlfriend. And it feels very different. And I. I grew up the opposite, where, you know, I didn't real even realize it. Where, you know, my mom looked down on being too skinny, you know, wanted me to eat. And body image, like, that was important. And the second thing, where there were no boyfriends allowed in conservative, you know, like, you're just not allowed to date. And so I focused on the books and other things, which I can't tell you how much that affected who I became later. Not that I'm saying boyfriends and girlfriends are bad things, but I think sometimes we have such an emphasis in American culture, like, this is the way you have to do it, that it can't look differently. And I am actually grateful that. That, you know, things have changed a little bit over a generation.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, it's just interesting to watch it unfold. And I guess, you know, the way I sort of see it is, like, teenagers can't win, right? Like, when they're having lots of sex, everybody's like, oh my God, they're having way too much sex. And then when they stop having sex, everybody's like, oh my God, they're broken,

[A]

they're not having sex.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I sort of feel like whatever else, like, we want to set them up for healthy relationships, like now and in the future and like having good, open lines of communication about, you know, setting aside the question of where they're having sex and like, you know, doing what makes sense for you as a family and, you know, certainly not doing anything you don't want to to do, I think then the question about, like, just health and it is part of normal development. And I'm not, you know, if kids are going to be having sex, I am not sorry to hear that it's happening in the context of an ongoing relationship. Like that is to me, always, you know, a reassurance that it's likely to be more safe and healthy than not.

[A]

Lots to think about. What do you have for us for parenting to go?

[B]

Well, one of the really key findings when we look at the Dutch is, you know, first of all, they're like, way more easygoing and it's much more, more openly discussed. And, you know, desire and pleasure are very much at the center. A key finding is they also have the best adolescent sexual health outcomes in the world. So when their kids are having sex, first of all, what we know is if you take this sort of, we'll call it sex positive view of things, kids don't have more sex. But we also know that when they do have sex, they do it in a safer, healthier way. They're more likely to use contraception. They're less likely to have unwanted outcomes. And I think sometimes that's what the worry is like. If we're sex positive, positive, then it's going to be like, you know, bacchanal and they're going to be buck wild and they're, you know, going to get pregnant and STDs. Actually, it's the opposite. When we talk openly about desire and taking good care of oneself and taking care of one's partner and this being part of healthy development, you get all the outcomes we are hoping for, which is healthier, safer sex.

[A]

Conversations, conversations, conversations. They make the biggest difference. Even if they're short conversations, even if

[B]

they're short, which is about all a kid can tolerate when it comes to

[A]

talking with them about sex. And for some parents, like me too, so. Well, thank you, Lisa. I think this is just a difficult subject to broach to think about and articulate. So grateful for your thoughts on this. And next week we're going to talk about college readiness. Your kid might be accepted to college, but are they really ready to go? Lisa weighs in. I'll see you next week.

[B]

I'll see you next week.

[A]

Thanks for joining us. Be sure to subscribe to the Ask Lisa podcast so you get the episodes just as soon as they drop. And send us your questions to ask [e-mail] and now a word from our lawyers. The advice provided on this podcast does not constitute or serve as a substitute for professional psychological treatment, therapy or other types of professional advice or intervention. If you have concerns about your child's well being, consult a physician or mental health professional. If you're looking for additional resources, check out Lisa's [e-mail].