Are you waiting for a green light that’s never going to come? This week, Lesley Logan dives into the "permission gap", the space between what you actually want and the action you take, often filled with self-doubt and a perceived need for validation. Whether it’s the habit of using a partner as a polite excuse to say no or constantly asking, "Does that make sense?," seeking approval is a cycle that keeps you playing small. Lesley shares how a "mean" sixth-grade teacher taught her about agency and why your language needs an audit. It’s time to stop second-guessing and start owning your choices.

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In this episode you will learn about:

The "badass" lesson Lesley learned from her sixth-grade teacher.
Understanding the permission gap and its roots in social conditioning.
Spotting "yellow flag" phrases that signal you are seeking approval.
How internalized misogyny keeps women from asserting their own agency.
Reclaiming power by shifting from "can't afford" to intentional choices.

Episode References/Links:

The Permission Gap - https://beitpod.com/thepermissiongap
Why Women Need Permission - https://beitpod.com/whywomenneedpermission
Pleasure and Permission - https://beitpod.com/right2desire
Ep. 241 withDr. Celeste Holbrook - https://beitpod.com/ep241
Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00

If you felt a lot of misogyny surrounding you, you might need to go find some really great women who can show you like you don't need to live under those rules. You don't need permission from men. You don't need anybody's permission except for your own.

Lesley Logan 0:13

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:56

Hey, Be It babe. How are you? Oh my god. Welcome to our week. My solo series is going to be on permission. And this has actually come from some people on my team who were listening to the pod. It's like a permission to be, permission to become, and it made us go, like, so why do we feel like we need permission? Right? What's going on there? So this, today's episode, is going to be on like, why do we feel like we need permission? Especially for my lady listeners out there, and there's a few good men, and I think it's important that you kind of, I think you should listen to this, because I think it's important you might understand, like, why we are the way we are. It just makes you a better human, right? And then on Thursday, instead of a recap episode, it's actually going to be on, how do we stop second guessing ourselves, so that we're we're not needing to ask permission, because we're not second guessing ourselves, right? So in doing this research, I found some really great resources. And so we'll also have links to my sources in the episode show notes. But I just kind of was thinking about this place. So I remember, in the sixth grade, I had a teacher. Her name is Mrs. Scott. She had lots of plans. It was a great was a great classroom. She looked a little scary. I'm not gonna lie, like, who's older? I've been teaching for like, 40 years, by the time I got there and she said, you can't ask can I go to the bathroom with me? In fact, if you ever say can I do something, I'm going to ask you. I don't know, can you? And I remember thinking, like, what a stickler. Why is she so mean? And now, as I was researching this episode, I was like, what a fucking badass she was. Like, how cool that she was making sure that as a sixth grader, we are understanding that we could go to the bathroom on our own. We didn't need to ask permission if we could go to the bathroom, we need to ask permission to leave. Like, the question was actually like, may I go to the bathroom, is what she wanted us to understand. So like, may I do X, Y and Z, because she's like, you are completely capable of doing these things. And so it's really interesting how in our lives, especially as when we learn by looking at people's facial expressions and emotions, the sound in their voice, we're seeking out permission, right? Like, oh, is it safe to be here? Is it safe do these things? Am I safe to do this? And then because of that, it also just starts to roll into all the things that we do on a daily basis. And so we start finding ourselves, like asking permission for a lot of things. And so in the research I was doing, there are some really great anecdotal stories of people in the author's lives who used to be like their parent or role model, and t...

676. How to Stop Seeking for Permission First