Becoming Undone: Episode 128 | Surviving a Nightmare: John Ulsh's Journey from Tragedy to Purpose

Host: Dr. Toby Brooks
Guest: John Ulsh
Release Date: August 2, 2025

In Episode 128 of Becoming Undone, Dr. Toby Brooks sits down with John Ulsh, an inspiring survivor who transformed his life following a devastating automobile accident. This episode delves deep into John's harrowing experience, his arduous recovery, and his remarkable journey toward finding purpose and helping others.

1. Introduction: A Life Transformed

The episode opens with John Ulsh recounting the immediate aftermath of his accident. At 37, John was living a seemingly perfect life—happily married with two young children and thriving in his real estate career. However, everything changed in an instant when a car crossing the center line collided with his family’s vehicle at an estimated 125 mph impact speed.

John Ulsh [00:13]: "Somewhere in that nursing home, I kind of realized I wasn't going to die. Now somewhere in the nursing home, I started wishing I would have died."

2. The Day of the Accident

John provides a vivid account of the fateful day, detailing the circumstances leading up to the crash. It was a regular Saturday when they decided to take a different route home after celebrating his daughter Katie's swim meet. Their decision to turn right instead of left led them onto Route 16, where the collision occurred tragically.

John Ulsh [10:19]: "So it was a typical old high school indoor swimming, hot and humid... And five minutes later in a straightaway, a car coming the other direction at the last second crossed the center line."

3. Surviving the Crash

The severity of the accident is highlighted as John describes the critical injuries he and his family sustained. While John, his wife Tanya, and their four-year-old son James were rendered unconscious, their eight-year-old daughter Katie remained conscious, trying desperately to help.

John Ulsh [13:31]: "When our daughter Katie crawling between my seat, my wife's seat trying to get a cell phone crying, 'Daddy, don't die.'"

Despite the dire circumstances, medical intervention was swift. John shares how he was airlifted to Penn State Medical Center with less than a 3% chance of survival, while his wife and son were taken to the nearest non-trauma center.

4. The Road to Recovery

Emerging from an 18-day coma, John faced the daunting reality of his physical condition. Paralyzed from the waist down and undergoing over 45 surgeries, his path to recovery was fraught with pain and uncertainty. The mental toll was equally heavy, as he grappled with survivor’s remorse and the guilt of surviving when another life was lost.

John Ulsh [21:21]: "I was paralyzed from the waist down at this point. It took me a day probably to realize I couldn't move my legs."

5. Mental and Emotional Struggles

John candidly discusses the psychological challenges he faced during his recovery. Growing up with a "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" mentality, he initially struggled to seek help or express his pain. His dependence on narcotics worsened, and he experienced profound moments of wishing he had not survived.

John Ulsh [44:31]: "She says, 'I miss my old daddy, the one who would come out and train with me.'... I struggled with survivor's remorse."

6. Finding Purpose Through Adversity

A pivotal moment in John's journey occurred when he decided to take control of his rehabilitation. Frustrated with the standard physical therapy approach, he ventured to a local YMCA, unknowingly encountering a special needs fitness program. This decision marked the beginning of his transformation from a survivor to a motivator.

John Ulsh [47:07]: "I ended up getting pushed to the therapy room and stuck on the cable machines... It became something that was in my control."

7. Building a Legacy

John’s dedication to his recovery and his desire to help others led him to become a motivational speaker and author. His story resonated with many, garnering attention from local newspapers, magazines, and organizations seeking his insight. Over the years, John has inspired countless individuals by sharing his resilience and the lessons learned from his traumatic experience.

John Ulsh [53:49]: "The other part that really resonates... I was just a dad leaving a swim meet with his kids, or we all leave swim meets, soccer games, lacrosse matches, basketball games... it's very routine."

8. Authorship and Continued Growth

John discusses the process of writing his book, The Upside of Down, which chronicles his journey from trauma to transformation. Initially a personal diary for his children, the manuscript evolved into a comprehensive guide on overcoming setbacks. John's commitment to authenticity and his desire to help others remain at the forefront of his work.

John Ulsh [62:22]: "The first part was a diary to my kids... People were like, 'You should write a book,' and I was like, 'I've been writing.'"

9. Lessons Learned and Moving Forward

John emphasizes the importance of loving the process rather than fixating solely on the end goals. His experience with adversity taught him to embrace each day as an opportunity for growth and to find meaning in the journey itself. He advocates for intentional living and the continuous pursuit of self-improvement.

John Ulsh [78:32]: "The only thing I never want to do is be back in a wheelchair. I can deal with a lot of stuff. I don't know how to deal with that."

10. Conclusion: Embracing the Journey

In wrapping up the conversation, John reflects on his ongoing mission to help others navigate their own adversities. His story is a testament to the power of resilience, the importance of community, and the profound impact of finding purpose amidst life's most challenging moments.

John Ulsh [81:43]: "This would not have been my story even five years ago, seven years ago... When I finally forced myself in that week of snow and a fireplace in front of, in South Carolina, of all places, because it was so cold and a little bourbon that I could write this thing."

Notable Quotes:

• John Ulsh [00:13]: "Somewhere in that nursing home, I kind of realized I wasn't going to die. Now somewhere in the nursing home, I started wishing I would have died."
• John Ulsh [10:19]: "So it was a typical old high school indoor swimming, hot and humid... And five minutes later in a straightaway, a car coming the other direction at the last second crossed the center line."
• John Ulsh [44:31]: "She says, 'I miss my old daddy, the one who would come out and train with me.'... I struggled with survivor's remorse."
• John Ulsh [53:49]: "The other part that really resonates... I was just a dad leaving a swim meet with his kids, or we all leave swim meets, soccer games, lacrosse matches, basketball games... it's very routine."
• John Ulsh [78:32]: "The only thing I never want to do is be back in a wheelchair. I can deal with a lot of stuff. I don't know how to deal with that."

Key Takeaways:

• Resilience in the Face of Tragedy: John's story exemplifies how individuals can find strength and purpose even after experiencing unimaginable loss and physical trauma.

• The Importance of Community and Support: Throughout his recovery, John relied heavily on the support of his family, friends, and community, highlighting the essential role that a strong support network plays in overcoming adversity.

• Transforming Pain into Purpose: Instead of succumbing to grief and despair, John channeled his experiences into helping others, demonstrating the transformative power of finding meaning in suffering.

• Continuous Growth and Adaptation: John's journey underscores the significance of embracing the process of recovery and personal growth, rather than fixating solely on the end goals.

For those seeking inspiration and insights on turning setbacks into comebacks, John Ulsh's journey serves as a powerful testament to the human spirit's capacity to heal and thrive.

Listen to Episode 128: Becoming Undone Podcast