Podcast Summary: Becoming UnDone – Episode 145 | From Abuse to Advocacy: Maxwell Leadership Mentor & Entrepreneur Marissa Nehlsen's Journey to Empowerment

Date: December 16, 2025
Host: Dr. Toby Brooks
Guest: Marissa Nehlsen

Episode Overview

This deeply moving episode of Becoming UnDone features Marissa Nehlsen, a financial strategist, Maxwell Leadership Mentor, entrepreneur, and advocate, whose journey from childhood abuse and generational poverty to global leadership is both harrowing and inspiring. Host Toby Brooks and Marissa explore the intersections of pain, resilience, purpose, financial abundance, and generational empowerment. The conversation is raw—unpacking trauma, identity, loss, and the transformative process of "becoming undone" as a blueprint for reinvention.

Key Themes and Discussion Points

1. Roots of Resilience: Childhood Pain and the Power of Words

[00:03]–[13:55]

• Marissa’s earliest memory of standing up to her abusive father at age nine, describing a pivotal moment where a voice told her, “Get up, you’ve got to get up right now,” leading her to confront him—after which he never touched her again.
  • Quote:

    "You hit me again, you kick me again, you better just kill me…because I'm going to tell everybody what you're doing here." – Marissa [00:03]

• Marissa credits her mother’s faith and endurance as a model for surviving "impossible situations."
• These formative moments planted the seeds for her future as an advocate—discovering at a young age that “words have power,” and leadership is about using them to protect and empower others.

2. From Victim to Victor: Choosing Mindset Amid Poverty and Trauma

[14:23]–[24:50]

• At 14, living in a cold, two-bedroom trailer without heat, Marissa's mother challenged her perspective:
  • Quote:

    "You can choose to be a victim, or you can choose to be victorious. What will you choose?" – Marissa’s mother [16:47]

• Marissa chooses victory, reframing every subsequent struggle as another "rock to stand on."
• She shares the importance of adults speaking life into the next generation and how her mother’s words became the narrative she lived by.

3. Forgiveness, Boundaries, and Personal Reinvention

[24:50]–[30:25]

• Marissa discusses the lifelong process of healing and growth, emphasizing forgiveness (for her father and herself) and the crucial role of boundaries.
  • Quote:

    “Forgiveness and boundaries go hand in hand.” – Marissa [27:09]

• Personal reinvention: from a 17-year-old pregnant teen in a trailer court, hustling to finish high school early and determined to build a new life for her daughter.

4. The Emotional & Mental Journey: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Aligning Values

[30:25]–[32:44]

• Marissa shares her ongoing journey with imposter syndrome, authenticity, and the importance of daily growth.
• The powerful daily prayer:
  • Quote:

    “Remove from me what is no longer for me.” – Marissa [25:28, 27:09]

• Learning to let go of things and relationships from previous life scenes when they no longer serve her.

5. Redefining ‘Rich’ and Breaking Chains of Scarcity

[32:44]–[51:08]

• The psychology of wealth: Growing up with a “poverty mindset,” Marissa unpacks the beliefs (“money doesn’t grow on trees,” “rich people are greedy”) and how she intentionally redefined “rich.”
• Her framework for wealth:
  • Emotionally rich
  • Relationally rich
  • Spiritually rich
  • Physically rich
  • Financially rich
• Quote:

  "Our roots and our wings are connected." – Marissa [35:12]

• Practical examples: Connection to family, simple meals, authentic relationships, and self-care.

6. Reclaiming Life, Purpose, and Legacy

[51:08]–[66:56]

• The power of intention after loss: Marissa’s fiancé dying of cancer and his final wish for her to "really live" fuels her mission.
• Establishing boundaries: after losing someone she loved, she never again sacrifices family commitments for fleeting opportunities.
  • Quote:

    "Boundaries surpass opportunities." – Marissa [63:09]

• Emphasis on generational legacy, not just financial, but skills and values for her children and grandchildren.

7. On Blindness: Vision Beyond Sight

[69:43]–[77:28]

• Marissa discusses losing her eyesight to Stargardt disease—her brother’s encouragement helped her see “people don’t follow you because of your eyesight, but because of your vision.”
  • Quote:

    “There’s a difference between your eyes don’t work and your eyes don’t work like they should work right now.” – Marissa [75:42]

• Adapting with practical workarounds and building a team, she views her blindness as a catalyst to accelerate her impact.

8. Generational Empowerment: Equipping and Resilience

[77:28]–[81:04]

• Discussing multigenerational transformation: First generation achieves, second protects, third may squander unless resilience is instilled.
  • Quote:

    "The killer of you becoming great is comfort." – Marissa [80:47]

• Marissa’s parenting focus: “What do you think you should do?” – teaching critical thinking to avoid “solving all their problems” and stifling resilience.

9. Practical Steps for Reinvention & Being a ‘Hope Dealer’

[52:20]–[57:39]

• Actionable advice for those reinventing after loss or trauma:
  1. Acknowledge: You get to write your story from here.
  2. Small actions over time lead to great change.
  3. Identify your gifts – what do others come to you for?
  4. Serve others with those gifts – become a ‘hope dealer’.
     • Definition: “Helping Other People Evolve.” [52:20]
  5. Clarity is great, but wisdom is better—pray for wisdom.
  6. Build a support team for accountability and growth.

10. On Maxwell Leadership and the New Book

[58:27]–[68:40]

• Becoming a Maxwell financial mentor after John Maxwell personally asked her to help develop a holistic generational legacy plan.
• Marissa built her own terms—insisting on boundaries and family-first scheduling.
• Her book, Live Life Rich, seeks to help others redefine wealth and pursue holistic abundance.

11. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On forgiveness:

  "I 100% only have a sorrow for his [my father's] soul…I only wish for him to be healed so he can become the man God wanted him to be." [27:09]

• On stewardship:

  "Your resources that flow to you will flow through you to the things that God puts in front of you." [66:56]

• On leadership:

  "People don’t follow you because of your eyesight. They follow you because you’re a leader. They follow you because of your vision." – Marissa’s brother [74:04]

• On living with intention:

  "If you get this one piece out of nothing else…Reclaim your territory. Redefine. Rich." [75:55]

• On becoming undone:

  “Nothing in my life has happened to me. It has happened for me and for those around me, that I can impact, influence, and help serve hope dealers.” [84:23]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Childhood trauma, first moment of defiance: [00:03]–[13:55]
• Mother’s lesson: victim vs. victorious: [16:47]
• On forgiveness and boundaries: [27:09]
• Reinvention as a pregnant teen, finishing high school: [30:25]–[32:44]
• Scarcity vs. abundance, redefining Rich: [32:44]–[51:08]
• Loss, grief, and the gift of living fully: [39:17]–[47:39]
• Generational empowerment and raising resilient heirs: [77:28]–[81:04]
• Vision loss and leadership beyond sight: [69:43]–[77:28]
• Advice for reinventing yourself, becoming a hope dealer: [52:20]
• On boundaries and mentoring with the Maxwell team: [58:27]

Final Reflections & Takeaways

Host Toby Brooks sums up:

"Playing small means staying small…deserve has nothing to do with it…your past might be part of your story, but it doesn’t get to be the final word. That is yours to write." [49:18, 88:09]

Marissa closes:

“I am Marissa Nehlsen, and I am undone.” [87:53]

Useful for Listeners…

• If you’re struggling with trauma, loss, or reinvention, this episode delivers both empathy and tactical hope.
• For professionals in leadership, coaching, and personal development, Marissa’s models and mantras provide actionable steps to empower yourself and others—from financial legacy to emotional and spiritual well-being.
• Those navigating generational transitions or change will find a masterclass on legacy, boundaries, and resilience.

Essential Reading & Listening

• Books referenced:
  • Live Life Rich – Marissa Nehlsen
  • Today Matters – John C. Maxwell
  • Generations & The Fourth Turning
• Music for Marissa’s life montage:
  “Brave” – Christian artist (as chosen by Marissa) [81:38]

Essential Insight

"What do you think you should do about that?" – Empowering future generations through questions, not just solutions. [79:05]

For more, visit: undonepodcast.com/ep145

(Podcast summary compiled by AI, preserving speaker tone and direct quotes for maximum fidelity to the conversation.)