A Very Unfortunate Injury #203

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast: “A Very Unfortunate Injury” #203 – June 4, 2026

Hosts: Charlie Berens (CB), Myles the You Betcha Guy (MY) Location: Spirit View Lakeside, Three Lakes, Wisconsin

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Episode Overview

In this lively, laugh-filled episode, Charlie and Myles belly up at a lakeside bar, riff on the definition of a “small town,” and take a trio of memorable live calls from listeners across the country. Through a blend of Midwest humor, real listener dilemmas, and wild story-sharing, the hosts dive into topics from friendship struggles in big cities to backwoods bar debauchery and brain science. As always, the tone is heartwarming, irreverent, and irrepressibly Midwestern.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter – What Makes a Small Town?

[00:00–13:47]

• Charlie and Myles debate at length: when does a small town “lose its man card” and become a big city?
• Hilarious criteria include:
  • More than one water tower ("Two water towers, forget it." – CB, 03:14)
  • Chain pharmacies or banks (“If they turn the Dollar General into a Walgreens, I mean, gone.” – CB, 01:46)
  • More than a blinking stoplight (“If you have two stoplights, forget about it.” – CB, 07:03)
  • More than one high school football team, chain hotels, or bars with uniforms.
  • If your bartender isn’t also a volunteer firefighter – it’s over.
• Notable Quote:
  “If you can drive through the whole town in one breath, boom. Small town. But it takes two breaths? Then we gotta start having a conversation.” (CB, 01:25)
  • The hosts digress on topics like dad sneezes, Dollar General as a harbinger of doom, and town populations swelling seasonally.
• Memorable Moment:
  First-ever documented “Charlie sneeze” on the podcast (04:19).

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2. CALLER 1: Jackson – Making Friends, Bluegrass Dreams, and FedEx Woes

[16:23–46:47]

Setting:
Jackson, a 23-year-old living in Chicago, calls in about struggling to make friends and start a band.

Highlights:

• Jackson’s backstory:
  • New to Chicago, originally from southern Indiana, wears a cowboy hat, loves bluegrass, works produce at Whole Foods, ex-FedEx employee.
• Friend-Making Tips:
  • Hosts encourage joining open jams/mics and rec sports (“Find yourself a softball team…some good camaraderie, ass slapping…” – CB, 27:21).
  • Brainstorming band names: “The X Feds” (CB, 41:43), “Class Action Lawsuit” as their debut album.
• Notable Moment:
  Jackson sings original, never-before-performed lyrics for “Wishing Wells” live (41:24–41:51).
  • “There's a piece of you in almost all I do, and Lord, I'd hate to admit it's true…”
• Workplace Whistleblowing:
  • Blasts FedEx for harsh conditions — long hours, no breaks, lack of PPE, hair loss and hearing loss (“I could have been making millions by now…my name’s Jackson, dude!” – CB, 37:01).
  • Half-serious plans for a class action lawsuit, inspired by podcast’s faux-lawyer sponsor.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • On band formation: “You gotta be bad before you’re good.” (CB, 43:52)
  • On embracing creative discovery: “You’re like a sponge, man. Now it’s time to wring it out in the sink and smell that sponge.” (CB, 29:36)
• Takeaway:
  Jackson is encouraged to put himself out there, start a band, and, above all, embrace his original voice (musical and otherwise).

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3. CALLER 2: Daria – Secrets, Heartbreak, & Wild Northern Maine Bar Tales

[50:57–85:34]

Setting:
Daria, a mysterious New England “fed” (government worker, possibly FBI), calls to tell stories from her past life as a bartender at “Woody’s” – a rowdy barn bar in unorganized northern Maine.

Highlights:

• Hosts try to guess her profession (hilarious, extended guessing game – 51:11–54:46), before Daria finally “pleads the fifth.”
• Woody’s Bar Stories:
  • A seasonal barn strip club (“classy joint”); patrons include hunters, snowmobilers, and “guys bringing tanks to the bar.”
  • Tales of debauchery:
    • Drunken snowmobilers dressing wrong, losing clothes on the tracks (77:21)
    • A dancer impaling herself on a beer bottle during a set (“She sat on a beer bottle…full penetration;” “We had to put caution tape around all the bottles” – Daria, 81:00)
    • Resourceful patrons repairing stripper heels with a vise at the bar.
  • “Chicken nuggets” are the dancers’ ritual after a shift (63:37).
• Personal Side:
  • Daria’s recent breakup: religious differences (Catholicism, not wanting to go to every Holy Day), plus her tattoos (73:31–75:31).
• Notable Quotes:
  • “I don’t want to come off as the spiteful ex…” (74:05)
  • “I was young then…come a long way.” (70:29)
• Memorable Moment:
  The “butt light” incident — the stripper who accidentally “boofed” a Bud Light bottle during a dance (81:12).
• Hosts’ Reaction:
  Equal parts horrified, impressed, and unable to look at high life the same way again.

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4. CALLER 3: Sam – Neuroscience, Memory, and Wrinkly Brains

[86:41–115:48]

Setting:
Sam, a 6’5” PhD neuroscience student at UW Milwaukee, with a famously gravelly voice, calls in.

Highlights:

• Sam’s journey: former business student and all-time JV football champ, now studies memory and wants to be a professor.
• Insightful (and funny) discussion on:
  • Brain wrinkles: “Smoother your brain, the dumber you are” (89:36)
  • Neuroplasticity, myelin, lifelong learning and Alzheimer’s prevention (97:01–99:15)
• Myles shares his own 7th grade science fair research on memory retention (94:51)
• Hosts spar over “who has the smoothest brain” (91:17)
• Extended riffing on Paw Patrol, nicknames, and T-shirt Guy’s job security.
• Sam’s hopes: “raise a happy family, have a lake house, get a new mountain bike.”
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Every podcast we do, my seat’s getting colder, and Jared’s just getting hotter.” (CB, 101:56)
  • “I just feel like every podcast we do, my brain is just getting prunier.” (CB, 97:01)
• Sam requests advice on building a proper brandy old fashioned kit for his professor; Charlie delivers (“First, get yourself a tackle box…” – 111:00)
• The hosts threaten to call Sam for more nerdy brain talk on a whim.

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Notable Quotes & Highlights – Quick Reference

• “If you can drive through the whole town in one breath, boom. Small town. But it takes two breaths? We gotta start having a conversation.”
  (CB, 01:25)
• “If the bartender isn’t also a volunteer firefighter, small town card – gone.”
  (MY, 03:39)
• “I want you to take a deep breath. Breathe deep, deep to where it hurts. Find that blue note and bend it, baby.”
  (CB, 41:00)
• “You gotta be bad before you’re good.”
  (CB, 43:52)
• “She sat on a beer bottle…it went up a certain part of her body.”
  (Daria, 80:12)
• “Every podcast we do, my seat is getting colder and Jared’s is just getting hotter.”
  (CB, 101:56)
• “Smoother your brain, the dumber you are.”
  (MY citing TikTok, 89:36)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• What Makes a Small Town: 00:00–13:47
• Call 1 (Jackson): 16:23–46:47
• Call 2 (Daria): 50:57–85:34
• Call 3 (Sam): 86:41–115:48

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Episode Tone & Style

• Pure Midwestern flavor: Quick-witted ribbing, relentless riffing, authentic small-town knowledge.
• Deep dives alternating between off-the-wall stories, genuine advice, and philosophical musings.
• Uninhibited, sometimes raunchy but good-natured, always rooting for the callers.
• Generous with laughs, empathy, and (sometimes questionable) legal advice.

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Summary Takeaways

• Small towns: The line between “small town” and “city” is blurry; it’s less about size and more about character and connections.
• Friendship & creativity: Making friends as an adult is hard—lean into your passions and put yourself out there.
• Real-life stories from the heartland: Every bar in America just might be one slippery dance away from legend.
• Brains & beer: The brain’s ability to change is lifelong; wrinklier is smarter, and Brandy Old Fashioneds belong in tackle boxes.

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For Further Enjoyment

• “The X Feds” band coming soon, featuring Jackson’s “Wish Him Wells.”
• If you boofed a high life or have a small-town story—or just need a friend: call the Bellied Up Podcast.

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Transcript

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. Me and Chuck are bellied up here at Spirit View Lakeside in Three Lakes, Wisconsin. Chuck.

[B]

It's a good day to be alive. Miles.

[A]

Good thing you're not sitting in front of a green screen today, otherwise you wouldn't have a torso. That's a nice little sweatshirt you got there.

[B]

Thank you very much. Sharp cheddar.

[A]

Is that a sweatshirt with just cheese on it?

[B]

It's Pine river baby. Made with aged Natural Chad since 1963. Cold packed cheese food. So there you go.

[A]

Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, I thought it was a drink at first, but that's cheese.

[B]

That's cheese right there, Miles. Yep. Not a sponsor. Just what was in clean in the closet or what was in the closet today. So.

[A]

So, Chuck, it took me about eight hours to get here to Three Lakes.

[B]

Yeah. Thanks for making the drive.

[A]

And as I was driving, I had a thought where we're going through really small towns. Big towns, small towns, medium towns. And I thought, what. What happens in a small town to where we're like, hey, that's not a small town anymore. Oh, how do you. What. What. What needs to. What? It's almost like they lose their small town man card. You know, like. Like, what do they. What's stuff that makes small towns lose their small town card?

[B]

Ah, gotcha. If you can drive through. If it takes more than one breath to drive through the whole town, you're getting close. Yeah. If you can't, it's kind of like going through a tunnel. You know, you hold your breath. If you can get through the whole town in one breath, boom. Small town. But it takes two breaths.

[A]

Then we got to start having a conversation.

[B]

Yeah. If they turn the Dollar General into a Walgreens, I mean, gone.

[A]

That's tough. Yeah.

[B]

Gone is Applebee's.

[A]

That town is long gone.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's. That's medium to big town city. That's actually on the. On the fringe of going medium town to big town. You get. And you get a cheesecake factory. Not even a question city. You're a metropolis.

[A]

I think another thing is if you go from being. If you have any sort of chain bank show up in your town, you're no longer a small town anymore. If it's not run by someone that lives in the town, it's their only job.

[B]

You're chasing away that small town vibe.

[A]

Small town card. Gone.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

If you have two water towers.

[B]

Oh, yeah. If you have a water tower. Really? No, I'm kidding.

[A]

That's like one of the basic components of human civilization is water.

[B]

Yeah, you kind of need that. But, you know, some. Some use the water tower, but I mean, otherwise you're just doing a wells situation there, you know? So, honestly, maybe if you have a water tower. I don't think there's a water tower here. Three lakes have a water tower.

[A]

Yeah, they said.

[B]

Yeah, they have a water tower. Water tower, winds okay.

[A]

But as soon as you get to.

[B]

As soon as you have two. Yeah, two water, two water tower.

[A]

That's like two water tower town.

[B]

You got two horses or two water towers, forget it. You. Another thing is, is if you. Oh, shoot, I had it. Where did it go? Where'd it go? Oh, oh, oh, oh. If. If the guy serving you beers is not also working at the volunteer fire department.

[A]

Yeah. If you got a fully staffed fire department.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Small town card gone.

[B]

Sorry. And it's not. It's not bad. It's just different, you know?

[A]

Yeah, it's just different.

[B]

Just different. If you got more than one high school football team.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you're long gone.

[B]

You're long gone. Yeah. If you have a high school football team, not a regional, you know. Yeah.

[A]

Like the hyphenated high schools.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you have a fogo de chao, not a small. Oh, my God.

[B]

If you got a fogo day. Ciao. Get the fogo out of here.

[A]

Out of here.

[B]

Yeah. Well, let's see here. Oh, hang on. I got a sneeze coming.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

Okay. Chuck is sneezing. Two sneezes. You okay, bud?

[B]

Thank you. If nobody says bless you at a bar when you sneeze, what does that mean? I don't know. You said bless you, though, so it worked out. Here.

[A]

This first ever Charlie sneeze on the belly.

[B]

Was that the first ever Charlie sneeze?

[A]

Yep. I looked. I looked it up.

[B]

Really? That Jared. Thank you for that. How do you guys like it?

[A]

We thought maybe you're a robot, you know, that's why you were spewing so much. I slandered it. Throw everyone off the scent. I thought you were maybe a robot, but now that you sneezed, I think you might be human.

[B]

Did you like my sneeze?

[A]

This is pretty wimpy.

[B]

Honestly, my dad.

[A]

You're not a dad yet, so I acquired the skill of an over. Over exaggerated sneeze.

[B]

That's how you know that your kids have. That you got kids. If. If you can't tell if it's a sneeze or a cough, you know?

[A]

Yeah. How you know someone's a dad if their sneezes are unbelievably loud and obnoxious.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also their coughing is unbelievably loud and obnoxious.

[B]

And they're. Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

They're breathing.

[A]

They're breathing.

[B]

My dad does his breathing thing sometimes in church. You know, is when you notice it because everyone's quiet. We were mid homily Christmas Eve mass, and my dad just goes. It echoed throughout the church.

[A]

It's like contagious that other dads start doing it. And that's how the priest knows to wrap it up.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't even on purpose. He wasn't. He just. He just did it.

[A]

Forgot to breathe for a minute.

[B]

Yeah. Just realized I need oxygen in this brain or I'm gonna pass out. Yeah. Yeah. Midnight mass. Let's wrap it up, Papa. You know that's father in Spanish. Got it, Padre. There you go. But yeah, small towns. I mean, if. If you. If you got more than six gambling machines in any bar,

[A]

are you just pointing things out and saying them?

[B]

Well, this is a small town, but. Yeah. This only has five. Is a five gambling machine per bar town.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. If. If the.

[A]

I mean, as soon as you get a stoplight, you're screwed. If you get a stoplight, you lose that card.

[B]

Oh, no. You. Can you. Well, yeah, yeah. Stoplight. I mean, two stoplights. Some might have one stoplight. Because you got to remember, if you get more than a blinking stoplight off the main drag.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know. Yeah. Then. Then you're. You're creeping in. If you have two stop lights, forget about it. You are medium town, city right there. Turn that card in.

[A]

As soon as the small town starts promoting that they're a city on the grow. No longer a small town.

[B]

Yeah, I know. You want to be a city on the plateau, baby. That's what you want to be doing.

[A]

Just enough people being born to replenish the people dying. Yeah.

[B]

If you got more people in the town. If you got. If you got more people in the town than in the graveyard.

[A]

If. If. When you're talking about how many people you have and you say. And you have to specify that it's different, different times of the year, you're still a small town.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like three lakes. In the winter, the population's this, but in the summer, you know, it gets up to that, you're. You're probably a small town on a lake.

[B]

If you're dating your cousin and you don't know it, you're. You're losing Your small town card. You should know your cousin. Yeah, you should know that's your cousin. But sometimes you could be dating someone and you didn't know. You know, it could also be a small town, though, and just everyone's your cousin. Well, everyone's your cousin. Or you didn't know your, your, your dad had that, you know, neighbor back in.

[A]

You're in high school and you're. And you're looking. If you're in high school and you're looking for a prom date and you never have to worry if someone's your cousin or not.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

You've lost your, your small town.

[B]

We found it. There it is. We found it.

[A]

Yeah, if you have to cross a bunch of people off because they're your cousin, then that'. That's your small town.

[B]

Yeah, if, if you got a well funded library.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm talking like you got two desktop computers in there. That's maybe three. Unless that weren't donated. That weren't donated. Yeah.

[A]

Very specific, huh?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I think if you have, if you have like a Marriott or a Hilton hotel, you're no longer a small town. If you got a motel, you're chilling

[B]

or if the new Marriott is the talk of the town.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For the, for a year, then are

[A]

they still a small town?

[B]

Well, yeah, if they're talking about.

[E]

For.

[B]

You gotta be talking about for a year and you gotta be not happy they rolled in.

[A]

Yeah. So if you do get a Marriott, you need to talk about it for a long time to keep your small town card.

[B]

Oh, let me say this. If it's an actual Marriott, you lost it.

[A]

But like.

[B]

Or like a country, like a sweet country by Marriott. If it's a buy Marriott, then yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if you're definitely in a small town of a Marriott is moving in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, I think the only hotel that I would say is. Okay. Is like a two story roadway in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Still small town. You can get by with that hotel.

[B]

If you're pronouncing the new Marriott as Marriott and not. Never mind. I had it. It was funny. But then it wasn't.

[A]

Is it Marriott? Is that what you're saying or what?

[B]

Yeah, I was doing the reverse. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't really matter. It wasn't there. I got, I got a little cheese curd brain going. I went to town on those things. Oh, my God, they're good. Here at Spirit View Lakeside, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry, Miles. Cheers. Throw back a cold one. That's what the sign says. If you got a Goodwill and no antique store.

[A]

If you. Guy. If you got a Goodwill.

[B]

If you got Goodwill. Forget about. Yeah. No. Oh, if. If you're.

[A]

If you.

[B]

If the main grocery store is in a gas station, you might have lost your small town card. Yeah.

[A]

You're venturing into that.

[B]

You are.

[A]

I think the gateway to not a small town anymore is a Dollar General.

[B]

A dj.

[A]

Well, Dollar General represents growth and change, you know.

[B]

Yeah. But a lot of times Dollar Generals are just. They just pray. They're like a little parasite that just sits there.

[A]

No, I understand that.

[B]

Yeah. But what they do sometimes is. Sometimes a Dollar General comes in and symbolizes more growth is coming. Or they're just that little tick sucking the last bit of blood out of a town.

[A]

That is probably true.

[B]

Just draining it. You can't build a town around a Dollar General. Those are just facts. Yeah. It sucks it out of the mom and pop. They're like.

[A]

Oh, no, I understand.

[B]

With this. Yeah.

[A]

Isn't it that Dollar Generals are closing a bunch of stores, Jake. Like, how many? Feels good, right? Gotta feel good closing up those things.

[B]

Yeah. And then the other one, the Dollar Tree, you know, it goes from a Dollar General to a Dollar tree. You better watch out. The other day I saw Dollar General next to a dollar tree. I was like, the frick are we even doing here?

[A]

This is a $2 block.

[B]

Yeah. And it's not a dollar, you know, it's false advertising.

[A]

Should we get them on that? Should we call Nicolet?

[B]

We should call Nicolet and tell him False advertising on the dollar.

[A]

Class action.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Class action lawsuit. A call on that. We should get all the small towns in there and lock and load. If you got two Catholic churches, it actually still could be a small town. But one of the churches is going to be a bar within the next five years.

[A]

Yeah. There you go.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Well, Chuck, should we do some callers?

[B]

If the priest refuses to do confessions

[A]

at the bar, you're no longer a small town.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

No.

[B]

Sorry about it.

[A]

Yeah. If your mayor becomes a human and not just a dog. No longer a small town.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

If you're. If your bar. If your bar has a uniform that the people that the employees have to wear, you're no longer a small town.

[B]

If the sign outside the town goes from. If they get rid of the unincorporated sign outside the town, I mean, that's

[A]

like an actual, like hard evidence that this is no longer a small town, you know?

[B]

But it's facts.

[A]

They. They got incorporated.

[B]

Yeah. If someone gets into an accident Trying to hold their breath as they go through the town. You losing that car, I don't know what that means. I think it's a callback from our first one.

[A]

I think that if there's a car accident in town and it's not the talk of the town for the next few days, you're no longer a small town.

[B]

You know what I mean? Yes.

[A]

Now, like, you know, if there was maybe a shooting or something, Like, I think that, that being the talk of the town, you're definitely not a small city anymore or a small town anymore. If there's a shooting, that happens and it's not the talk of town for like six months.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yep. 100%. It's. That's got to be like everybody's grandma has to bring that up on the phone call to their grandkids within 15 minutes.

[A]

And you're also no longer a small town is if Bill is shooting his rifle in his backyard and someone calls

[B]

him in because you know this. You know the sound of Bill's rifle, correct?

[A]

Yeah. You know the direction it came from, how it bounces off the trees. He's doing it every other day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you have people calling in that, then I hate to break it to you, some out, out of towners moved in.

[B]

They did. They're changing the whole vibe. If your hardware store sells pack radio stones outside the store.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hand in that card. Yeah, yeah. Hate to say it.

[A]

If, if, if your Uber driver is actually an Uber driver and not just a guy who lets everyone know, hey, if you need a ride, give me a call and I'll do it for 20 bucks. No longer a small town.

[B]

No. If you're. Yeah.

[A]

I remember one time we were like in Joyce, Iowa or whatnot. We're like, we were joking. Like, there's no way they got Uber. And they said, yes, we do have Uber, but it's just one guy. So we have one Uber and that is it. And so if like you need a ride, you have to wait for him to finish his other ride in order to get picked up.

[B]

He's just perfecting the demand. Look at those walleyes.

[A]

That's perch.

[B]

Oh, those are perch. Those are some big perch filets. No way. Look at that curl up there. That's like a 7 inch perch right there. Miles.

[A]

I gotta, I gotta eat some food. And we should take some callers. Chuck.

[B]

Let's do it. Jackson.

[C]

Is this, Is this, is this who I think it is?

[B]

I'm going to Jackson. Oh my God.

[A]

What's going on? What are you up to today?

[C]

Well, I. I just pulled up to work. Usually I'm a listening to you guys are on my way to work, but now I'm talking to you guys before I go in. So this is kind of like a full circle moment. This is awesome.

[B]

Where's work at, Jackson?

[C]

I. I work at Whole Foods.

[B]

All right. Hey, how about it? Crazy. They built a whole business around putting whole in what we eat.

[C]

Exactly. But they do not sell whole donuts, which is great.

[B]

What the heck?

[C]

I know.

[B]

That's a lot of money for Tom with a hole in it, huh?

[A]

Exactly. They sell donut holes.

[C]

But no, I. I work in the produce department and everything. It's pretty fun. It's a lot of heavy lifting, honestly. Gotta lift, like a bunch of heavy boxes.

[A]

Yeah. The foods are so whole. They're heavy.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's the whole food.

[B]

What is the whole. What do we not know about Whole Foods? Jackson, give us the inside scoop.

[C]

I think this is probably standard with, like, most grocery stores, but there's a lot, and I mean, like, a lot of food that gets thrown away.

[B]

Do you, like, serious.

[A]

Don't they just take it to. Oh, yeah, like a shelter or something? A soup kitchen?

[C]

We, we used to do donations, but now that it's like summertime, the area that we keep our donations at has just gotten, like, really gross. So, like, you know, if you have a bunch of tomatoes that need to be picked up tomorrow, they're gonna be sitting there in like 70 degree heat and they're gonna be like, they're gonna be vinegar by that, you know, the next day.

[B]

Can't Jeff Bezos just get like another freezer? Don't you think he's got the money to spare?

[C]

I do think he does have the money to spare. However, Charlie, if he bought a second cooler for us to put stuff in, he wouldn't have enough to buy a second yacht or a third yacht.

[B]

Yeah, you know, we.

[C]

We got to consider how the billionaires feel here, man.

[B]

That guy that rich needs to get another cooler so people can get the food. You know what I mean? Don't you think? Exactly. Or. Oh, yeah, you can. You can even give the old meat to the farms. You know, those pigs will eat it.

[C]

Oh, absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

We have like, a truck will come by and pick it up every day. But I think most the other departments do donations now. But with produce, since it's such, like, temperature sensitive stuff, you know, it's like they'd rather just Throw it away. Which is kind of unfortunate, but I would be lying if I said I didn't, you know, take some strawberries home every now and then.

[B]

Dude, take it all home, man. Oh, you go sell it. Start your own half foods at the farmer's market. Your little half food stand. You make a killing.

[A]

I mean, it's still Whole Foods. Oh, yeah, it's still whole Chuck.

[B]

Okay, we'll cut in half then. I don't know what to tell you.

[A]

Just trying to make it spoil even faster. That's smart.

[B]

I guess you're right. Damn it, Miles. Quit putting facts on top of my harebrained ideas. Why do they call it hair brain, by the way? Does it mean your hair grew into your brain?

[C]

Is that how people go bald? Like their hair just, like, shrinks back into their head?

[B]

That's a good question. Dude. That is a good question.

[C]

Geez, if so, if that's what's happening to me right now, that's probably.

[A]

I think it probably back into your skull, down your spine and out your back, because I think what's happening to

[B]

bald folks and your ears.

[C]

Oh, true.

[B]

Are you balding, Jackson?

[C]

Sadly, I think I'm. I'm receding.

[E]

I think.

[C]

I think it's more receding than anything.

[B]

Hey, you know what? That's cool because you could be an injury lawyer.

[E]

I could.

[C]

I could look like Nicolet.

[B]

I could.

[C]

Oh, yeah, call. What's the number? 1, 8, 5, 5, Nicolette.

[B]

There, you got it. Now we don't even have to do an ad read.

[A]

And when they ask, then when they ask if the marketing's working, we'll just play this clip right here.

[B]

Hell, yeah.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah. Clip it, send it.

[A]

Where do you want your invoice sent for doing that plant for us?

[C]

Where you guys. Where y' all drinking at today?

[B]

We are at Spirit view Lakeside in Three Lakes, Wisconsin, which has 20. Yes, yes. Are you getting on that Propecia?

[C]

I am not. I'm actually. I'm doing. There's a. I think it's called peptide or something like that. Not too sure. It's just, like a little. Little topical thing that I'm putting on my hair every night. It's actually kind of working, honestly, sticking

[E]

it up a little bit.

[C]

It's not making me grow anything, but it's just, I guess, helping me keep

[B]

what I have, you know, you got a horseshoe going.

[C]

A horse a little bit. Oh, yeah. But I do cover that horseshoe with a cowboy hat every day, so there we go. Part of my problem.

[B]

You just slinging produce With a cowboy hat.

[C]

Man, I wish I've been pushing them to get me a cowboy hat with a Whole Foods logo on it. I'd be tipping my hat to everybody.

[B]

What city are you?

[C]

I am in the great city of Chicago, but do not get it twisted. I am no fib.

[B]

Okay. What are you?

[A]

That's what every fib says.

[C]

Well, I'm a Hoosier. I'm born in Indiana, so it's okay. Are the.

[B]

Are the Bears moving to Indiana? They're.

[C]

They're going back and forth. Honestly, I'm. I think it's just whatever city is going to give them the most money in whatever stadium they want. Because Indiana was like, hey, we'll give you, you know, we'll build you this stadium for this much. And then somewhere in, I want to say, normal, Illinois, they were like, hey, we'll give you this much and build you this stadium that's, like, way bigger than the one Indiana is going to build you. And then there's, like, other cities, they're like, wait, we can do that. So really, every, like, major city in Illinois is trying to jump on the Bears right now, which I. I don't know why. It's the Bears.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't even watch football, and I know enough to know that the Bears are not really a team that you

[B]

want to buy, historically. No, I mean, it's kind of like buying a Titanic, you know, we know how this is going to end.

[C]

Like.

[A]

Yeah, but they still sold all the tickets. They sold it out.

[B]

That's true. That is true.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

This ship is unsinkable. But it might.

[E]

But we won't tell you.

[B]

Yeah, probably not. So what's on your mind today, Jackson? Belly on up to the bar, put your hat on, and let us know what's. What's on your mind.

[C]

Well, I gotta take my hat off. I'm sitting at the bar. Charlie, that's just. That's house rules.

[B]

Well, he wanted to wear his hat at the whole food, so I was thinking he's a hat on at the bar kind of guy. We're both wearing hats now, Miles. What?

[A]

No, it's not a cowboy hat, though.

[B]

I know. A cowboy hat is kind of a badass thing to just take off and be like.

[C]

Yeah, especially if you got, like, some dust that falls off of it, too. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you want to talk about?

[C]

Well, I was calling you guys. Well, I've called you guys a handful of times about a handful of different things.

[B]

Yeah, we remember one of the most

[C]

recent things was I have moved to Chicago recently, and I'm 23 years old, and I'm just.

[E]

I'm.

[C]

I'm having trouble making friends as a guy, you know what I mean? And I feel like as I get older, it's gonna. It's only gonna get harder to make friends. So I feel like now is, like, a good time in my life for me to go out, make some friends and stuff like that. And I guess because, like, you know, when guys become friends, they're, you know, friends for a pretty long time. Even if, you know, they do something kind of messed up, it's like, all right, I'll give that some cool off time, but I'll see you in, like, a month or two.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, I think you're up against your. You're kind of in the uphill battle wearing a cowboy hat around everywhere in Chicago. That probably doesn't help.

[C]

I do get some pretty weird looks. I will tell you. I do kind of stand out like a sore thumb with a cowboy hat on, but people do compliment itself.

[B]

What do you like about the cowboy hat? Let's. Let's start with your likes and interests, Jackson. You know, let's figure out who you are.

[C]

Well, I like. I like bluegrass music. I play a lot of bluegrass music. I'm a guitar player.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

So. And it's like, you know, I'm from Southern Indiana and everything like that, so it's kind of. It's kind of my roots, I guess. I didn't grow up on a farm. I'm not a cowboy whatsoever. But, you know, my dad and my grandfather are rednecks and stuff like that, so it's just kind of translated over a little bit. I like the style of the cowboy hat, and it makes me feel like a. Like a western gunslinger, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That mixed with, like, a. A really dusty guitar riff. I'm like, that's how I want to be portrayed, I guess. You know, I like, someone kicks open saloon doors. That's how I want to be.

[B]

Yeah, you're just. You're just building that identity there. Are there any open jam sessions in Chicago you could get to see?

[C]

That's what I've been looking for. I've been, like, looking around at open mics and stuff like that. I don't know if I'm, like, good enough to play, like, an open mic by myself.

[A]

I've been open mics, and, yeah, I don't think. I think the bar is pretty low.

[B]

Yeah, you're good enough.

[A]

You're good enough. That's for sure.

[C]

I will say I have seen some pretty. Pretty bad live performances in my day.

[B]

Well, they got some open jams. Could you sit in on with some fellas and, you know, play the chords?

[C]

I have been thinking about doing that. I think really just like, my problem is I just need to get up and get out there because I think I overthink things too much and it just kind of puts a dampener on whatever I'm planning to do.

[A]

Well, what do you. What do you feel like you should be doing that you're not? You said get up and get out there. Where is out there? What's out there?

[C]

The city. Chicago, you know, because I had a. I had planned to move here for like four years and I finally got here and now I'm like, now what? You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's like that was the big goal for the longest time and like, working towards it was like. I don't know. I guess I just don't have anything like big to work towards, you know? I want to start a band. I think that would be pretty cool.

[B]

Yeah, Start a band, dude. I would start going to hitting those open mics. That's one track. Okay. And they do have open jam sessions. I would really just seek those out. Another thing, though, I was down there in Chicago. We both were doing a bellied up live about maybe this time last year. But I was walking along the lakefront and they had people playing softball and kickball. I would find yourself a softball league. Get in. Or kickball. You know, one of those.

[C]

Softball league. I do have pretty good.

[A]

Is that for making the band or is that for making friends?

[B]

That's just for making friends.

[A]

Join the softball league and hope people play instruments.

[B]

Well, there might be someone, but you can build a much faster relationship if you're not, you know, some people that you don't quite fit their musical style, and that's a whole other thing. But, you know, for. For, I would say just making friends, beer drinking buddies. You find yourself a softball team and that good camaraderie got a ass slapping, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. You got some spikes.

[C]

I could get a good pair of spikes. There's a dick's real close by me.

[B]

We'll go to a play against sports. All right. You don't need to get a good pair. You might not even like it, man.

[C]

Charlie. We had one of those near where I grew up for the longest time, and it just closed down like a year ago. I know. It kind of hurt the soul a Little bit. Because I was like, dang, that's where I got all my gear growing up.

[A]

Bezos.

[B]

Bezos. Yeah. I tell you, the billionaires, man.

[C]

Reaching his greedy little fist into everything.

[A]

What. What kind of band are you thinking? You want to do a bluegrass band? Have he's been throwing around any names? Because we have been known to. To throw out some good band names here and there.

[C]

Yeah, you guys are pretty good at starting some good band names. I. I will. I will give you guys that for sure. I mean, I'll give y' all anything. You guys are great.

[E]

I don't know.

[C]

I play a lot of bluegrass, but the thing is, I'll go. I. I'm wide on the spectrum of music, man. Because you can walk into my apartment, I'll be playing bluegrass one day, and then the next day I'll be playing, like, really, like, heavy metal kind of stuff. So it really ranges in between that of, like. I don't know, I guess I gotta find the right people that have that spectrum as well of.

[A]

You know what? You're right. Keep your mind open. You guys can find your own sound somewhere in between.

[C]

I think that's like, something I've been struggling with, too, is finding my own sound. Because I listen to a lot of music, and there's a lot of things that I like that I want to, like, recreate. Kind of not like recreate, but, you know, like, you hear a band and you're like, damn, I want to sound like that band, or I want to sound like that band. There's too many bands that I want to, like, sound like. And I think it all conglomerates into just something I haven't found yet. You know what I mean?

[B]

You're like a. You're like. You're like a sponge, man. And you've been sponging your whole life, and now it's time to just wring it out in the sink and smell that sponge.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[C]

Yeah, smell the sponge.

[B]

Smell the sponge, man. Yeah, get all that.

[C]

All the. What is it, the past month of dishes out of there.

[A]

You know, man, you need to just get home tonight, just pick up the old ax and just start playing, you know, man, and just whatever comes out, comes out.

[C]

Oh, yeah, well, I do that every night. You know, that's like. That's my nightly routine. Come home, crack one open, sit down, crack another one open, keep playing.

[A]

You know, you just need to do some dmt, man. And then when you come to just play whatever comes out of you, man, that's will be your sound.

[C]

Oh, man, I. Nah, man, my psychedelic days are over.

[A]

You're 23.

[C]

I know, but, man, I feel like I'm 45. I tell you what.

[A]

So you were doing psychedelics, when was that?

[C]

I was around, like, 18, 17, 18. I moved out, you know, moved into a house with a bunch of my buddies. And I'd say it was probably for about like a five months, year and a half to a year or so.

[A]

What's your favorite psychedelic?

[C]

LSD was very fun. LSD was pretty fun. I'll never touch it again, though. I. I know that for sure.

[A]

Why?

[C]

I don't think I can handle it, if I'm being totally honest. Like, me, who I am now, I. I don't think I can handle it. And I know, like, me back then's looking at me now like, what, you loser. You old man. You can't handle it? No, I cannot.

[B]

It's maturity right there. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

[C]

So I also feel like I've aged, like, way more than I should have. I worked at FedEx for six months and I worked overnight. And I think that probably added at least 15 years onto my life, but you know what I mean? Yeah.

[B]

Is that when you start losing hair?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Honestly? Yeah.

[B]

I literally.

[C]

I. Like, there's pictures of me before FedEx and pictures of me after FedEx.

[A]

It's like.

[C]

It's like. Holy shit.

[B]

Aged like a president. Literally. Yeah.

[A]

What's the most stressful part about working for FedEx?

[C]

Oh, my gosh. Just being there, man. That was like a. It was a 980, 000 square foot building. If you walked in on certain days, there was like a visible fog in the building. Like, you couldn't see to the back. If it was 80 degrees outside, it was 110 in the building.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Damp in there, huh?

[C]

It was awful.

[B]

Think about that before you FedEx some cheese. Miles.

[C]

Yeah, don't. FedEx groceries, please.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is this our version of the whistleblower hotline? You saying that there's bad working conditions at FedEx warehouses? This breaking journalism?

[B]

I think so. We might be breaking it, yeah. What's the biggest workplace violation you saw at FedEx? Let's start another class action lawsuit.

[A]

Charlie Muckraker Barons here.

[B]

Yeah, we got our lawyer on retainer. Dude, he doesn't have hair.

[A]

Do you have any injuries? Would you consider that you. Would you say that there's been a. You've been damaged by your hair loss from working at FedEx?

[C]

Mentally and emotionally? Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And physically? You know, my back kind of Hurts okay.

[B]

It sure does. Yeah. Did you file any complaints or keep good journals?

[C]

I did not.

[B]

I heard you did make journals.

[A]

I heard you did.

[B]

Wow. Send them to us.

[C]

Oh, I did, yes.

[B]

Perfect.

[C]

Have have Nicolay look over them and we'll have him get after him.

[B]

What's the biggest issue they do at FedEx over there that you take complaint with side for the hot warehouse?

[C]

I would say probably not giving you a break or letting you clock out when you're supposed to. Like I clock in at 10:00pm and I was supposed to get a break at 4:00am and I would not go on that break probably until 5:30 after like clawing at the radio and being like, hey, I need to, I need to go downstairs and go on my break like now. And then I'd get a 15 minute break and then I'd come back supposed to clock out at 8:00am and then I'd end up clocking out at like 11:30.

[B]

And were you stocking or were you driving?

[C]

This was in the warehouse, so I was sorting packages.

[B]

Okay. Was there any use of heavy machinery going on?

[C]

No use of heavy machinery. I mean just being around the disorders and stuff like that. It was probably about, I'd say 110, 111 decibels of volume consistently in that building.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Would they provide you ear protection?

[C]

Nope.

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh my God. They would not provide.

[C]

They would not provide ppe. They would tell you to bring it yourself. Really? No gloves? Nothing.

[A]

Wow. No vest

[C]

vests if you're going out into the. The switcher yard, which is where all the trailers are, but that's it.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Would you say that you've lost hearing Working at FedEx?

[C]

I'd say, I'd say it's decreased, absolutely.

[A]

And then that's for your future profession. You're losing money because maybe you're not going to hear the music as good as right.

[C]

Maybe FedEx made me a little tone deaf.

[A]

Yeah, maybe you lost your ability to be the next hot band out of Chicago.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

I think you could have been making millions by now. Hey, band name.

[C]

The FedExers. No, that's not good.

[A]

How about they'll just sue you.

[B]

How about the Ex Feds?

[C]

Ah, there you go.

[B]

The X Feds. That's the name of your band, by the way. We're going to retroactively say allegedly to all that so Miles and I don't get sued ourselves.

[A]

Yes, that is all alleged. There's no way for us to confirm that.

[B]

But if you, if you have worked at FedEx and would like to join our class action lawsuit call into the Belly up podcast. Miles and I will only take 10% and we'll have to cut Russell Nicolet in for a couple bucks on that.

[A]

Well, we don't pay unless he wins, so we're good.

[B]

Oh, he's going to win.

[C]

Oh yeah, he'll win.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here's the thing. Just to cover ass. We're not going to do a class action lawsuit.

[C]

No.

[B]

But maybe we inspire someone. Maybe we inspire someone out there.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

Yes. Hey, if you're thinking that you worked in a a FedEx, go find Jackson over at.

[A]

This is a great way for him to meet friends. Yeah, dude, misery loves company.

[B]

Start a class action lawsuit, man. That's a great way to meet friends.

[C]

That is a pretty good way to meet friends. I could be like the guy with the clipboard, be like, hey, do you want to like sign have you been hurt from. From FedEx?

[B]

And then yes, dude, you know found it. We did. And then you could write kind of like a Woody Guthrie folk song about it.

[A]

And then when you eventually take the stand, you get up there for dramatics and then sit down, one deep breath, and then take your cowboy hat, hold it like this in front of you

[B]

the whole time, bring your guitar up there and play that song for him.

[A]

But then mess up and be like, see, I can't even do it anymore.

[C]

Yeah, FedEx just messed me up that bad. Guys, I'm sorry. Show's over. Thank you for coming.

[B]

If you can't hear this song, it's cause you work done you wrong. Ah, that's fine. Your pp.

[C]

I think it's funny calling it ppe. It might be a little childish of me, but I don't care.

[A]

You are a child. You're 23.

[B]

Yeah, you're 23. But a hairless 23 year old, damn right.

[A]

I don't like, I don't like con guys. Hairless for some reason it just feels wrong.

[C]

Yeah. Makes me feel like a hairless cat.

[B]

Honestly, they Charlie took me four ride. Now I'm the piping hairless cats. My girlfriend's got two hairless cats. They look like a nut sack.

[A]

Let's just call a spade a spade here.

[B]

They look like a cat.

[A]

No, they look like one half. They look like nuts.

[B]

A cat dressed up for Halloween is a scrotum. That's what they look like.

[C]

So don't you gotta like moisturize them and, and like clean them? Like clean the oil off of them and.

[B]

Yeah, hey, that's crazy. No, it's not disgusting.

[A]

It's disgusting.

[B]

No, it's not. It's not disgusting. Do you know my bonus points I'm getting from.

[A]

I was just gonna say, if we would ask this to Chuck five years ago, he'd be like, hairless cats are disgusting.

[B]

They're not disgusting.

[A]

Get a dog, for crying out loud.

[B]

No.

[A]

Now he's like, oh, they're just beautiful.

[B]

They're beautiful creatures. Sometimes Randa listens to this. So Malfuf and Ditta, they are just the most beautiful, majestic creatures. See how far that gets me. That's enough. That's enough of that. Anyway, we're talking about your bald ass. So here's the situation, dude. You lost your hair and your hearing, and now you deserve a hearing. So.

[A]

And you lost your ability to make money as a famous musician.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, your name's Jackson, dude. You are set up for success in the. In the folk, bluegrass, country.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe there's five of you. You guys could be the Jackson five.

[B]

Yeah. Be kind of cool, but he needs friends for that.

[A]

Or brothers working on it. We're doing the. He's doing the Glass action lawsuit. We're not. He is.

[C]

Yeah, that'll be the name of our first album too. It'll be the class action lawsuit by the exped.

[A]

So, yeah, actually sounds good. That sounds real.

[B]

We're building this together right now. I'm a Jackson. I feel. Do you have your guitar with you, man?

[C]

I wish, I wish.

[B]

Do you write songs? Do you sing?

[C]

I do. I'm actually getting over the barrier of playing and singing at the same time. So I'm slowly working over that hump and I'm writing more music and like, like it's. It's happening. You know what I mean? Like I'm. I'm in that progress.

[B]

Can you give us an acapella rendition of your favorite song?

[A]

He's a guitar player.

[B]

He's trying to sing. He doesn't have a guitar right now. You know, I'll say.

[C]

I don't know. You guys ever heard of Charlie Crockett?

[B]

Sure. Yeah. Give us some little Charlie Crockett. Let's hear that.

[C]

I don't know what Charlie Crockett do.

[B]

I know.

[C]

I'm a ten dollar cowboy. That's about all I got.

[B]

No, you gotta have a good pull up the lyrics. No, you don't need. I don't want to hear a country voice, Jackson. I want to hear your voice sing from the soul.

[A]

We're finding your voice now. Found your Friends. Now we're finding voices.

[B]

I want you to take a deep breath. Breathe deep, deep to where it hurts. All right? Find that blue note and bend it, baby. Give us something. Talk to us about whatever.

[C]

I've got a. Here, I got a. This is a song about a. One of my old friends and how I want to knock his teeth out.

[B]

Good. Let's hear it, Jackson.

[C]

All right, here, I'll tell. Get a.

[B]

Also, you know why he doesn't have friends.

[C]

There's a piece of you and almost all I do. And Lord, I'd hate to admit it's true. You can show your teeth but also knock them loose and you can't hide the sun. But you'll still watch it move. It's silence of all your jesters bells. And when they sing them songs they'll be casting spells. When you pull your thoughts from your wishing wells. I hope you dive head first I hope you sink like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Jackson.

[B]

Holy smokes, banging that one out, dude. What's that song called?

[C]

I don't know. Honestly, I'm not too sure. It might just be called Wishing Wells.

[B]

Wishing Wells.

[A]

Toothless Joe, maybe.

[B]

Oh, how about. How about Wish Him Wells? You know, kind of a passive aggressive thing. You know, Wish him Wells.

[C]

Wish him well and wish him Wells.

[B]

Oh, yeah, there we go. Hell yeah.

[A]

Dude, that is actually really good.

[C]

I just want you guys to know that you should do it in the future if I make, like, an album or if, you know, if I have any. When Any kind of, like, music that's put out there.

[B]

When?

[C]

I promise you, I'm not sure when.

[B]

No, you're saying when, not if.

[C]

Oh, when. Oh, yeah, when? Yeah, when I make an album with my band that doesn't exist yet, but it will on the back of the vinyl or the CD or whatever. I'm gonna put thank you to Charlie and Miles from the bellied up podcast.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

1855-Nicolet Law.

[A]

And I'd like it to say they helped me find my voice.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

And the name of the band? The X Feds, baby.

[C]

So I want you guys to know that's the. That's the first time I've ever sung those lyrics for literally anybody.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

Yes. We're building the brand the X Feds by the. The X Fed's first album, debut, Class Action Lawsuit, and their hit single, Wish Him Wells. Take it away, Jackson. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's.

[A]

We'll work on the stage presence. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I mean, in high school, I made music and I played a couple shows in high school. But I was. It was. It was way different than what it is now, man. It's. I was trying to be like a. Like a rapper and everything. It did not. Did not pan out.

[B]

Hey, you gotta. You gotta. You gotta be bad before you're good.

[C]

And I stand by that, honestly, because I feel like a lot of people are bad before they're good, but it's figuring out, you know, what's you and what ain't you. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, I like how. See, Miles, he's already changing his attitude right now. He's starting to throw in a little ain't here. And now I can hear that Evansville just coming right out of him. This Southern Indiana boy. You and. Oh, yeah, yeah. Reach out to John Mellencamp. See if he'll produce the first album.

[A]

Yeah. Or maybe just a feature.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Get a feed Feet John. See if he'll bring back the Cougar for you. John Cougar Mellencamp and Jackson from the band the X Feds. Oh, man.

[C]

Well, if y' all ever down in. In Brown County, Indiana, and you ever stop by the Red Barn Jamboree, I might. I might be there. Who knows?

[B]

You should be there. The Red Barn Jamboree. I like that, man. I like that. Oh, yeah. Well, in the meantime, find a couple friends playing softball or bowling or dart league, get this class action lawsuit going and start. You're our man on the inside over at Whole Foods. So start taking notes, because we've got to expand our class action lawsuit business. We're going to take them all down. All right, Jackson.

[C]

I wouldn't expand to Whole Foods too much. Honestly, I really do like Whole Foods.

[A]

He's like, I still work there. I like to keep my job.

[C]

I still work here. But I will say, out of all the jobs that I've had, Whole Foods has been the best.

[A]

Okay. As employees worked at whole foods and FedEx.

[C]

Yeah, it's worth it at Whole Foods. It's not worth it at FedEx. I've worked in a lot of kitchens to have a lot of restaurant experience. But this isn't a job application.

[B]

No, that's fine. Hey, we're happy that you're happy with your current job. And just start. Find some friends, okay?

[C]

Absolutely. I'm going to go look into some softball leagues. I'm going to learn how to start a class action lawsuit. Maybe I'll go to law school.

[B]

Yeah, don't go to law school. Just call Russell and. Because we got to get our percentage off this if you can do it on your own, that takes us out of the mix. And then open jams. Get some open jams and go to some shows, man. There's a lot of good shows around Chicago, so find some shows. Meet some friends there.

[C]

Absolutely. Well, man, it was. It was more than a pleasure getting to chat with you guys, seriously. No, I listen to you guys every day on my way to work. And getting to talk to you guys today was genuinely one of the best.

[A]

It's good to talk to you, too, Jackson.

[B]

Really good time.

[A]

Are you late for your shift now?

[C]

A little bit, but it's. It's all right. It's whatever.

[A]

Well, they understand.

[C]

Yeah, they'll understand. Honestly, I told him I was talking to the bank, so.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He's honest, too. We like it.

[A]

All right.

[B]

You be good there, Jackson.

[C]

I will. You guys watch out for deer. I gotta watch out for fibs out here.

[B]

Good. Yeah.

[A]

Change your air filters even though you're in an apartment.

[C]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

So, yeah.

[B]

Wow. I'm one of these.

[A]

If we do this long enough, one person, it's gonna hit, and then that will be the feather in our cap.

[B]

That will be it.

[A]

Guys, who found the X? Feds. You know, dude. I mean, next thing you know, you

[B]

know, we're like, simon, snarky ass on that one show.

[A]

And then we'll be able to be like, hey, we. Chuck and I put our pants on the same way everyone else does. One leg at a time.

[B]

You do it that way.

[A]

But once our pants are on, we make gold records.

[B]

We sure do.

[A]

Yeah. Someday we'll be able to say that. If we just keep doing this for the next big hit.

[B]

We do platinum records, Miles.

[A]

Yeah. It's realistic here.

[B]

All right.

[E]

Gold.

[B]

Yeah. Silver albums. That's what we do. But I'm excited about it, Miles. And then once we do, we're going to be known for that. And then we're just going to be the king makers. And we're just going to be. We're going to be like, find the idols of America.

[A]

Next thing you know, Fargo's the Nashville the north.

[B]

Wow, that's bold. Hey, there's cowboy hats in Fargo.

[A]

There is. Got a poop barn.

[B]

You got a boot barn there. Wow, that's impressive. We don't have that Milwaukee.

[A]

Oh, we know.

[B]

Oh, okay. Like you can talk trash about Milwaukee now.

[A]

Oh, we know that you don't have a boot barn. All right, guys. Early summer at the lake sounds relaxing until you realize nobody's fully in summer mode yet. Docks are going in boats are getting adjusted and everything's a little slippery. Chuck, we were doing that. We attempted to put your dock in the other day.

[B]

Hey, we almost slipped in.

[A]

I know. And your dock is a little unstable.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And a little rushed, just like me. You literally said, hold my beer and just rammed your dock into the water. And then we said, that's not gonna work, Chuck, and had to pull it out.

[B]

That's okay. Pulling out.

[A]

You step onto a dock that's not fully secured. Boom. Foot slips, you go down harder. Someone's back in a boat, in too fast, lose control and suddenly it's a collision at the landing.

[B]

Well, what do you do, Miles?

[A]

What's supposed to be a chill day at the lake turns into a real injury quick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And actually this is. Actually, I need to keep this in mind because this, what we just described is going to happen at your cabin at some point.

[B]

100%.

[A]

You better make sure you secure that dock better than what you got right now.

[B]

Yeah, no, I'm going to do my best. Thank you, Miles. Thank you. Because I don't want anyone at my dock to have to call Russell Nicolet. Yeah. No. But if they do, if a day

[A]

on the water goes sideways, call Nicolet Law, folks.

[B]

1-855-Nicolay Moo Miles, I'm rocking these Shady Rays right now. I got the JFK specials going and do you. I'm telling you this right now. The quality on these things is unmatched. Probably I'm thinking if I were just put these on blind, you know and

[A]

of course I can see you would wear those if you're blind.

[B]

Actually, I might. Yeah. Kind of the Ray Charles vibe.

[A]

That's exactly the sunglasses you would wear if you're blind.

[B]

But if I was blind, just pulled in these, they just feel like freaking 200 sunglasses. I'm telling you that much. But they're not.

[A]

What are they?

[B]

They're way less than 200 bucks. And if you use the code bellied up, you can get two 40% off polarized lenses. Polarized. So you can see the fishies, the perches, the bluegills, the. The crappies, the northern pike, the muskies.

[A]

And actually the ones you're wearing are great set of glasses if you are blind too and you can't see those.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, so whatever the case, we don't

[A]

discriminate on this podcast.

[B]

Whatever the face Shady Rays are for

[A]

people who can see and who can't see.

[B]

Shady Rays, baby. Check them on out.

[A]

Use code bellied [e-mail] shadyrays.com.

[B]

see you guys soon.

[D]

Hi, I'm darling. Daria.

[A]

Daria. This is Miles and Charlie from the Bellied up podcast.

[B]

How are you, Daria? How are you?

[D]

I.

[E]

So good.

[D]

How are you guys doing?

[B]

Oh, we're so fantastic.

[D]

Great. That's awesome to hear.

[A]

Question for you right off the bat.

[D]

Go for it.

[A]

Are you a teacher? You sound like you kind of have a teacher voice.

[D]

Oh, that's sad. No, no, I'm not a teacher.

[B]

Are you a yoga instructor?

[D]

Is that what. Is that what I'm giving off? No, I am.

[A]

Oh, you're. You're. Hold on. Well, this is a fun game. Let's guess. Just tell us if we're right or wrong.

[B]

Yeah. Tell us if we're getting warmer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay, so I said teacher. Hot or cold?

[D]

Cold.

[A]

Yoga teacher.

[D]

Very cold.

[B]

Banker.

[D]

No, it's cold.

[A]

Marketing manager.

[D]

No, I would be terrible at that.

[B]

Bartender.

[D]

Used to be so closer. Not anymore.

[B]

Sales rep for a cigarette company.

[D]

Oh, my God. How did you know?

[B]

You. Yeah.

[A]

Phil.

[B]

Philly Mori.

[C]

No, no, no.

[D]

So wrong. But okay, I like this game.

[B]

Disney character actor.

[D]

That would be fun, too.

[B]

But now, ticket broker at a local theater.

[D]

I love how specific these are getting.

[A]

No, well, it's when we're playing warm, we're not giving us, like. I go water cold.

[D]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Well, my bad. Still cold. Very cold.

[B]

Fishing guide.

[A]

Accountant.

[D]

Cold.

[C]

Cold.

[B]

God darn. Well, give us the stripper

[D]

colder.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I like how that one wasn't freezing cold.

[B]

Well, she's not.

[D]

This is very cold.

[A]

Okay. All right. So a job where you keep your social worker. You put clothes on. More clothes on when you're working there.

[B]

Chuck, Social worker.

[D]

Well, we do keep our clothes on in my profession, so that's warmer, but not so.

[A]

Okay, that's good. It's good. It's good info.

[B]

Librarian

[E]

called.

[D]

This is, like, hilarious.

[A]

This is like the Clear. The. The career ladder guy. Have you seen that guy online? He's on the street with a ladder, and him and the other person get on a ladder. You get two minutes to try and find out what your job is. That's what we're doing.

[B]

Oh, that's cool. Landscaper.

[D]

I would have cold. Man, I'm gonna fall off his ladder. How many?

[A]

Yeah, I think we're nearing in on two minutes.

[B]

Realtor. Hairdresser.

[D]

Cold.

[A]

Nurse.

[D]

Cold.

[A]

What the. Stay at home mom.

[E]

Cold.

[D]

I don't have kids.

[A]

She doesn't have kids. That's really cold. All right, we're out of time.

[B]

No, no, let's just have her give us a. The. The. Give us.

[A]

Yeah, give us hints.

[B]

Now, one thing you do at work.

[D]

One thing I do at work. What do I do?

[A]

What the.

[B]

What do you mean she doesn't know what she does?

[A]

You work for the government.

[B]

I do government.

[A]

You work for the government. Trying to figure out how much you're a government worker.

[D]

That's. That's warmer, but still paralegal.

[A]

You work at a daycare in Minnesota?

[B]

No, but we got a warmer.

[A]

What was the warmer?

[B]

Paralegal.

[A]

So you're a lawyer?

[D]

I plead the Fifth.

[B]

CIA.

[D]

Cold.

[E]

Warm.

[B]

Cold, warm. Nsa police officer

[D]

cold. I mean, you're in the right field.

[A]

Yeah, just tell us at this point.

[D]

Let's leave it there. You're in the right field.

[B]

We're in the right field for police officer. Park ranger.

[D]

No, no, you guys were in the right field a few guesses ago.

[B]

Oh, with the lawyer and the paralegal? Yeah.

[A]

So she works for the FBI.

[D]

Who's to tell she works for the FBI?

[B]

She's a fed. Freaking Fed on the phone.

[A]

Yeah. Then we. That's always. That's always great. You know, you're like talking to someone who works in the FBI and they're like, yeah, I don't even know what I do every day.

[B]

Yeah, well, glad for that.

[A]

Yeah. Really glad we're solving.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Figuring stuff out.

[B]

So what is it? What's the actual job?

[D]

What's the actual job? I thought I said I plead the fifth.

[A]

So you actually can't tell us what you do for a living?

[D]

Maybe it's. I just don't want to tell you.

[B]

Where do you live?

[D]

New England.

[B]

New England?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. Okay, well, why don't you belly up to the bar and tell us what you do want to talk about, Daria?

[D]

Sure. I know I'm wicked mysterious. Well, let's see. I don't even know where to begin. I have so many things to tell you guys, and I know I left you an interesting voicemail, but I'll be honest, my ex fiance got me onto your show, so I hope I get everything correct, because you guys are funny, but not as familiar with you guys as he is.

[B]

Well, that's fine. Are you calling up to make them jelly?

[D]

No, I have bigger fish to throw than that.

[B]

Let's talk about those fish, Daria. Yeah,

[D]

but I think I told you guys about a bar I worked at.

[B]

Didn't I say? Bartender. Oh, yeah, she used to work. Okay, well, what about this bar?

[D]

Oh, that was back in a past life when I was a degen.

[B]

And a dj Or a v. Gen. Djen.

[A]

A degenerate.

[B]

Oh, a dj. Oh, okay.

[D]

Yeah. No, it was definitely interesting. It was in northern Maine in unorganized territory.

[B]

Unincorporated, organized territory.

[D]

Unorganized. Yep. So it was me and a tire iron.

[B]

Nice.

[D]

And. Yeah. And it was definitely. We got a bunch of interesting characters walking through that door. So it was a really fascinating time in my life, so to speak.

[B]

That's great. So are you. Are you it. Was that what you called in to. Because I didn't hear the voicemail, to be honest. Jared said the voicemail would be. Was it about the bar there? Okay, so it's about the bar. Yeah.

[A]

Let's get into it. Come on.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

What's the name of the bar?

[D]

Yeah. All right.

[A]

Now I'm starting to understand why government work takes so long. It takes too long to get into it.

[B]

I know we've been trying to crack this cooking.

[A]

So I was. I was in this town that was unorganized, and, you know, they had a. They had a sidewalk on one of the roads and a tire iron. There was also a light pole in that town, which I'm just setting.

[D]

Oh, so you've been. You familiar?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you have a subway where they were low on meatballs?

[D]

Wait, what about the meatballs?

[B]

There were meatballs at the bar or at the subway in town?

[D]

There was. There was no subway in town. There were zero fast food restaurants in that.

[A]

What about the bar?

[D]

It was. Okay, so. Oh, my gosh. You guys called me.

[B]

Miles is frustrated.

[A]

Had a few beers and it's hot in here. Okay.

[B]

Miles is frustrated with me because. Because I asked a disjointed question, which happens from time to time. Daria, what was the name of the bar? Let's start there.

[A]

It was called Woody's Woody's Over Woody Fargo.

[B]

Do you.

[D]

Yeah, it was. It was a good one. And it catered to all the locals, but during off season, we would have some. Some dancers, some ladies come in. During my season, yeah, it was a very classy joints. It was in a barn.

[B]

So Woody's was a strip club.

[A]

That's why they're named Woody's. That's why they're Woody's.

[B]

Always Woody's. A strip club in Fargo?

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, Miles, you can see why I'm confused now. I didn't know if it was named after Woody the Woodpecker or just the Wood or just the Pecker.

[A]

Named after your pecker is what it's named After.

[B]

All right, so you got Woody's there?

[D]

We have Woody's, yes. And like I said, we had some cool cats come through that door, but it'll stay with me forever with the things I saw. And that's what I want to talk to you guys about.

[A]

All right, what is. What did you see at Woody's? Where they flew in strippers to a barn?

[D]

Yeah. Up in Northern Maine. So you could tell it was already a really fun place to be, but it was. The night would always start off, you know, pretty tame. It was like running to season. All the guys would be so afraid of the dancers. And you'd have, you know, Dusty Springfield, son of a preacher man kind of playing in the background while the girls were warming up. And next thing you know, it was just like, complete debauchery. By the end of the night, guys trying to take their belts off. It was. It was wild. We had all sorts of folk coming, and we had people trying to leave and dry firing their snowmobiles. So essentially breaking them before leaving because we tried taking their keys away. Next thing you know, they're going down the railroad tracks, losing items of clothing and leaving the trail of clothing. Could have sworn they were dead. Then you'd see them drinking Bloody Marys down at the docks the next morning. So they were fine. They made it.

[A]

So you worked at a Northern Maine brothel is what you're saying?

[D]

It felt like that.

[B]

Sometimes driving, firing your snowmobile sounds like something that exclusively happens at a bar and called Woody's.

[D]

Yeah. I also. There was a guy that would call, and he asked if he would. He was able to bring his tanks down. And I was like, I'm not freaking dop, Man. If somebody has a problem with it, I'm not gonna help you out. But if the stadies come, it's gonna take him at least 2 1/2 hours.

[B]

Bring something about it. Bring his tanks down?

[D]

Yeah. Like, drive his tank to the bar.

[B]

His actual tank?

[D]

Yeah. And I was like, I don't know if there's room in the parking lot. Like, go for it. What am I gonna do?

[B]

Did he do it?

[D]

Honestly, I don't even recall.

[A]

I'd like to see you stop a guy with a tank from doing that.

[D]

What was I supposed to do? I was really helpless at that point. But, I mean, at least he called an ass. That was curious.

[B]

Fella's trying to get a Hummer in a tank. It's crazy.

[A]

Here's the question. I didn't know Maine was wild like that. I feel like I view Maine is kind of a more proper area of the country.

[B]

Oh, no.

[D]

Oh, no, I've never been. We have rednecks up north.

[B]

Yeah, it's like. It's like the north woods up there.

[A]

West Virginia vibes at times.

[B]

West Virginia meets southern Canada.

[A]

Yeah, it's a Canadian, basically Canadian West Virginia.

[B]

It's the what? Yeah, it's the wild north is what it is.

[D]

It was the wild north. Yeah, we had a lot of people coming through with whatever they killed that day. And then they would come, have some drinks, watch some lady dancers, and hopefully make it home in one piece.

[B]

Were these lady dancers, they're not there year round?

[D]

No. And I think I said in my voicemail there was. It was not uncommon for me to have one of the dancers. Shoes being fixed on the bar with a vise and, you know, just serving drinks and little, I mean, not little, big, big heels being glued together on my bar top.

[B]

See, these are fellas who, who are here to help the dancers, you know.

[A]

I'd love to hear you.

[D]

Yeah, very.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, gentlemen, sometimes you break a heel dancing. And these fellas got some, you know, gorilla glue in the car and. And a little vice, you know. Or not in the car.

[A]

In the tank.

[B]

In the tank, yeah, we had the tank.

[D]

Yeah, we had. So we had everything you needed. It was at your disposal. Everybody was very resourceful.

[B]

Wow, this is insane. Now, did the gals enjoy working there? Did they make a lot of money?

[D]

They did, and I think they really enjoyed that. They got to end their night with chicken nuggets. So we had apparently pretty good chicken nuggets and they would always make sure to get those before they had to head back down south.

[B]

Where would they come from?

[D]

Down south in Southern Maine.

[B]

Oh, Southern Maine, got it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Portland.

[D]

Yep, exactly. Actually right there.

[B]

Sure, I've been to Portland once.

[D]

Yeah?

[B]

Yeah, and then you were the bartender there. Is that where you met your fiance?

[D]

No, no, no, that was a lifetime ago.

[A]

Okay, well, let's talk about your ex fiance a little bit. He's listening right now.

[D]

Oh, well, maybe.

[A]

Anything you want to say to him?

[D]

No, I think everything was said that needed to be said.

[B]

Are you back on the market looking for fella?

[D]

I mean, I'm young, I'm not dead.

[B]

Well, I mean, you know. So is that a yes or a no?

[D]

I'd like to be at some point.

[B]

Yeah. You ready to get back out there?

[D]

Oh, I don't know about that.

[B]

You're still playing the field.

[D]

Gotta. You gotta be smart about this. At this point in life, are you

[A]

into maybe trying out the girls at all instead of guys? Because we have a single gal that's here at this bar right now. We've been trying to hook her up with.

[D]

Yeah, I'm sure she's a lovely lady, but.

[A]

Just kidding.

[D]

Not for me.

[A]

Just trying to get a reaction from her, from her mom. Look at her face right now. She's like, wait, what did he tell me?

[B]

Her mom is.

[A]

Her mom's here. Yeah, she's trying to get her married off and have some kids. What she's trying to do.

[B]

Okay, so guy brings Tank to the bar. Any firearms go off in this bar?

[D]

You know, probably everybody. Everybody had guns. It was northern Maine, so everybody would come from either hunting or snowmobiling four wheeling. So there was probably plenty of guns in there.

[A]

So you work for the FBI. What's the deal with the Epstein files?

[B]

Yeah, give us the deal on.

[A]

Yeah, look at the bar. Is that's what they want to hear?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's the deal with the Epstein files? That people want to know what's going on. Why can't we get that shit figured out?

[B]

Stop asking, Miles. You might start a world war.

[D]

I don't have that clearance. I wish I did.

[A]

Oh, so you do work for the FBI.

[B]

Look at that we turned into it. We busted FedEx on the last call. We are busting out all the petter asses on this one.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

Let's hear it.

[D]

This is wild. Yeah. No, maybe I'm just too secretive. Maybe I shouldn't have called and I'm keeping too much from you guys.

[B]

Yeah, you are keeping too much. Come on.

[A]

What's your understanding of what's going on with the Epstein files? With your level of clearance?

[D]

With my level of clearance? Oh, I'm blowing in on the totem pole. So I basically just know everybody's coffee orders.

[B]

You know, I think she knows a little bit more.

[A]

But the person who's the. Who's getting the coffee actually has the most gossip in the whole thing.

[D]

Well, yeah, it's like being a fly on the wall, right?

[B]

Yeah. So spill the tea, coffee gal.

[D]

Oh, my gosh. I definitely was not prepared for this. Well, you guys have never thought we

[B]

got you on that's. We're good investigative journalists.

[A]

You know, we don't call them Charlie Muckraker Barons for no reason.

[B]

No, they don't.

[D]

No. So it sounds like you guys would have more knowledge about this than I would.

[B]

Well, we want to hear it straight from the horse's mouth

[D]

straight from the horse's mouth. Well, I ain't got much. I think everything's been leaked that they have.

[B]

I don't think so. I think we got about 600,000 pages of files left.

[D]

I don't want to be linked to the freaking Epstein file.

[A]

I mean, that's fair enough, but you work at the FBI, so someone's got an answer to it.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's not me. That's above my pay grade.

[A]

So just like any job, you know, when you. When us civilian Americans think about our government, we'd like to think that there are some smart people working at the FBI. What is your take on that? Do you think we got any smart people there? Or is everyone just flying, like, to see their pants like the rest of us?

[D]

No, I. I bet we have some smart people there. I know some.

[E]

She hasn't.

[A]

She hasn't met any.

[D]

I don't want to disappoint. Boy.

[B]

Wow. She didn't deny that one. She for sure works at the FBI.

[A]

We're totally.

[D]

Yeah, definitely.

[B]

This is great. So what do you want to say to the nsa? Because they're listening in on this phone call.

[D]

Don't tap into my phone. I have nothing good to offer.

[B]

You do have good stuff to offer. You worked at Woody's.

[D]

I did see some stuff. Yes, I did.

[B]

What's the craziest thing you saw? Woody's outside the tank.

[D]

Outside of the tank. I think one of my favorite scenarios was there was this respectable woman sitting on one of the bar stools and she was pretty hammered and she ordered some food and she wanted a salt and pepper shaker, so I handed it to her. And next thing you know, she can't figure this thing out. She cannot operate a pepper shaker. And I just didn't know what to do at that point because what do you do? And so this stand up guy next to her tries to show her, but they were both wrong. And they ended up getting pepper in both of their faces, falling off the bar stools, getting black eyes off of the dancer stage, and had to leave early and do the walk of shame the next day to come get their credit cards. And they had black eyes. All from just not knowing how to use a pepper shaker.

[B]

Really? They pepper sprayed themselves with table pepper, huh?

[D]

They did. And they had. You know, at least I know one of those individuals had a prominent role in her community. So that must have been fun to explain.

[B]

Which community? What's the role?

[D]

Oh, at this point, it was in more southern Maine, but I met her daughter not soon or a little bit afterwards. And I was like, oh, I know your mom. Great person, Real, you know, put together, individual. I'm sure she's doing well, you know, Tell me how she's doing. I know her favorite drink. I hope her eyes healed up since then, but give her my regards.

[B]

Wow, you've lived so many lives.

[D]

I know, I know. And that was just. I was young then, so I was a little baby. Come. Come a long way.

[B]

Come a long way. Still seeking the love, though. Still seeking the love. What are we looking for in a guy?

[D]

Let's see. Let me learn from my mistakes. How much time do you guys have?

[A]

All right, well, let's do your top five mistakes that you've made when dating a guy.

[D]

Number first of all, meeting a guy, talking to a guy. That was my first mistake.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Never meet a man.

[A]

Okay. Just guys in general. Mistake number one.

[D]

That was my first mistake. Yeah.

[A]

What's number two?

[D]

Oh, well, I guess the mistakes kind of end there. Once you once, that's the biggest mistake. Because everything else comes with meeting a guy.

[B]

What happened to the fiance? What happened there? Oh,

[D]

if I had to put something on it. Too many differences, let's put it that way. And I just. I wasn't right for. For him or his family. So it was just better to part ways and for me to carry on with my, I don't know, bullshit ways.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

So you're saying you were the problem and you gave them the. It's not you, it's me.

[D]

Oh, no, it was. I was always the problem. But.

[B]

Well, what'd you do that was problematic? Doesn't seem like you did much problematic here.

[D]

Oh, I existed.

[B]

Come on, Daria, I'm hearing a lot of negative self talk.

[A]

Yeah, let's get into this.

[D]

I mean, it's a two way street. It takes two people to mess up a relationship. And yeah, we were just far too different. And. Biggest difference, biggest difference, full honesty. Differences in religion.

[B]

What's. What's his, what's yours?

[D]

Oh, we're actually part of the same religion. It's just I. Apparently I was a spawn of Satan, so it didn't work out.

[A]

That doesn't get us any closer to truth Catholicism.

[B]

There it is. I can feel the guilt just bleeding.

[A]

You've never met two Lutherans. Be like, you know, we had a difference in religion and so it didn't work out. You know, it's only Catholicism.

[B]

Is he like.

[A]

So you're the spawn of Satan because you don't go to Church every Sunday or what?

[D]

Honestly, I don't know. I tried, but it wasn't enough.

[B]

You didn't want to get married in the church?

[D]

No, not really.

[B]

Okay. And his mom wasn't happy about that?

[D]

Probably not. Actually, not at all, I can tell you that.

[B]

Well, what was the sinful thing he took issue with,

[D]

you know, guys? I don't know, because then why would he propose at that point? Right? That's my question.

[B]

He knew what he was getting himself into.

[D]

That's my. Exactly. That's my argument.

[B]

Were you into swinging or something? What. What. What are you not telling us?

[D]

No, actually live a very boring life. Other than work and my dog, I don't do much.

[B]

Okay, well, you're really an open book here, Daria.

[A]

Hey, what do you do for a living? I can't tell you about that. What's going on with your ex relationship? I can't tell you about that.

[D]

Well, I don't want to come off as, like, the spiteful ex, because that's not spiteful.

[A]

We're just talking the truth. You know?

[B]

What was the big religious difference? What did you do that he didn't like? You can be specific.

[D]

Okay, well, I guess it was the fact that I didn't want to go for every single event other. Like, outside of regular Sundays, I was totally down for going every Sunday.

[B]

But beyond that, it's like the holy days of obligation. You didn't go to the.

[A]

You're like, Ash Wednesday. No way, Jose.

[B]

No go, yo.

[D]

I was like, I'll go. Yes, it is.

[A]

Yeah. What are the holy days of obligation, Chuck? All Saints Day.

[B]

Immaculate Conception. Souls Day. All Souls Day. Ash Wednesday, the Christmas Day, The Three Kings.

[A]

We did this on YVR one time.

[B]

All Kings Day.

[A]

You're. You're muddying it up for me here, Chuck.

[D]

See, you guys know a lot.

[A]

Good Friday might be.

[B]

Sure. Good Friday. Holy. Holy Saturday. Yeah, there's some of them. But anyways, the. The point. So you. That was it? The relationship. You didn't want to go to the holy days of obligation?

[A]

Crazy way to break up. No, no.

[D]

I'm also. I'm pretty tattooed up, and I know that was probably a big issue.

[B]

Oh, that. You're tatted up. What's. Yeah, okay, well, that. That's not against the Catholic Church. You're not Jewish.

[A]

Bible, it says you shouldn't tattoo your body because you're. It's. Your body's a temple of the Lord.

[B]

It also says if you don't.

[A]

I know. I'm with you. I'm not Saying that that's.

[B]

I'm just a New Testament or Old Testament. Everyone's got their interpretation, you know, it doesn't matter. It's not against the Catholic Church.

[A]

So you're saying that you're pinning the whole thing on religion?

[D]

I mean, it was. Seems like a pretty big deal. It came up in every argument.

[B]

Did anyone ever step out in the relationship?

[D]

No.

[B]

All right, well, this is the most boring breakup ever.

[D]

Well, actually, it was quite bad for me. I got screwed over. I had to move out, like, automatically. And I had given up my place to move there, so it kind of shook my world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dang.

[A]

All right, well, we're. We're. We're sorry for prodding too much of your ex relationship. We won't do that anymore. You said you wanted to bring some energy, and I. And now. But now we do. But now we expect that. Okay, let's hear. What do you got for us?

[D]

Well, I think in the voicemail I left, I wanted to tell you guys about the guy that dry fired. His snowmobile. It was crazy. We cut him off because he was obviously sneaking drinks outside of what we were giving him. And we're like, you're not safe to go anywhere. So we took his key and he tried calling the cops on us, which, like, okay, again, it's gonna take like two and a half hours.

[B]

Classic mobe, classic move. Hammered. Calling the cops, telling them they took your keys.

[D]

More than likely, I think he was from Massachusetts, so causing problems. But anyhow, so we took his keys. He was pissed off, so he was gonna leave the bar and stomp off and go wherever because he didn't like what we were doing. But he went to go get ready to get back on his snowmobile, and he was so hammered, he couldn't figure out how to get dressed. And I'm watching this grown man trying to put, like, snowmobiling gloves on his feet rather than his snowmobiling boot. And he's flopping around making a mess, like falling into our empties. There's glass shattering everywhere. And so you're not gonna help. And he's just combative at this point. And so he made a stick, he looked like a four year old, dressed himself on his way out the door with his jacket half unzipped. And all this gets on his snowmobile, dry fires it, so probably ruins it. Starts heading down the railroad tracks. And somebody tried to go after him because we're like, he's gonna die. And it's dead of winter, it's wicked cold. And you could just see a trail of clothing as he, like, took off. And we followed it for a bit, but we're like, you know, whatever, man. You're an adult. And, yeah, like I said, I went grocery shopping the next day. Ran into some of his buddies, and they told me that he was down at another bar in town, and he was just sitting there like, half dead on a bench, drinking Bloody Marys and glad he made it, but kind of dumb. So that was an interesting cat that we had come through the door.

[B]

Oh, hair and the dog.

[D]

Yeah, sure. He was full of regret when he saw his snowmobile the next day.

[A]

Yeah, it's tough to think you started doing Bloody Marys.

[D]

Yeah, and we've had people who were hammered decide to get on, like, dirt bikes, start them up. They're gonna show off. We had a guy trying to get some air, and he ended up slamming into the side of the trailer.

[A]

Oh,

[B]

man, The. The. The Woody stories run deep here.

[D]

Oh, I didn't even get into the story where one of the dancers fell on a beer bottle, and we didn't know which one, so we had to put caution tape on all of them.

[B]

So they put caution tape on all the beer bottles because she slipped on one. Was she dancing on the bar?

[D]

No, she was dancing, and apparently she slipped and fell into this person's lap, and in this person's lap was a beer bottle, and it went.

[E]

It.

[D]

Yeah, it went up a certain part of her body.

[A]

We had penetration.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[C]

She got.

[D]

I wasn't.

[A]

She.

[B]

She sat on a beer bottle.

[D]

Yeah, it. It touched your booty and nothing to see her.

[A]

Just a stripper sitting on a beer bottle. Okay.

[B]

Did it break?

[A]

That guy that got a. Oh, luckily, it did not. That got a big reaction in the bar, by the way.

[B]

Yeah, these guys are all concerned about this stripper safety.

[D]

Oh, no. Yeah. No, apparently she was fine. I mean, we didn't know.

[A]

So she's fine. She went away with a few hemorrhoids, but other than that, it was fine.

[B]

She got a glassy at Woody's. That's insane.

[D]

Yeah, Bud Light was.

[A]

We have a fellow wondering what kind of beer bottle we're talking. We're talking, like, was the guy doing Edwards 40s hands or.

[B]

No.

[D]

Oh, gosh, no, no, no.

[B]

Wasn't.

[A]

Was a can.

[B]

It wasn't a can. Oh, a Mickey's. A malt liquor. What? Beer Lord. Let's bring up some beer bottles. What would be the worst one to go up your butt? Let's see here. This One not so, I guess, like a Coors banquet. Coors banquet, yeah.

[D]

Unless it's just the tip.

[A]

Just the tip might be fine.

[D]

Yeah, you could. But, you know, that's why we have to go around putting caution tape on everything.

[B]

So she fell off the stage into a fella's beer bottle and full penetration.

[A]

Did he at least buy her dinner first? The beer bar?

[D]

I don't know. She came up to me and asked for a rag, so I just gave her a rag.

[B]

Oh, okay. Wow. Could have gone without that detail.

[D]

You asked.

[B]

I guess I asked if I know

[A]

anything about this bar. That guy, as soon as she got up, he chugged the rest of that beer. Oh, Miles, if I know anything about this clientele at this bar.

[B]

I mean, if it was a full beer, it could have carbonated up and she could have boofed a high life.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, but I'll tell you, she was champion. She put on a little fishnet onesie and she finished up the night good for her.

[B]

Fishnet. That'll protect you a little bit. I'll give you a.

[D]

We just took two band aids from nest across her brown eye, and she's good.

[A]

She boofed the high life.

[B]

That's why they call it the high life there, Miles.

[D]

There you go.

[B]

It'll get up there. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my.

[B]

There goes my high life sponsorship.

[D]

You guys will never look at that the same.

[B]

Oh, man, I'm really glad we got off your fiance and started talking about the nitty gritty.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Dirty dandy.

[A]

I like that she got back in the game, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

She looked at me and I was like, I'm a wilderness first responder. But they did not train me for this.

[B]

Well, did you have to pull it out?

[D]

I wasn't touching it. I threw her right. Gave her a band aid and said, do you need. I think. Do you need ice? I'll give you eyes.

[B]

Wait, it was still in.

[A]

So she's walk. Was she walking around with that thing?

[D]

Oh, I mean, I don't. I was busy bartending, so I didn't pay that much.

[B]

Was it a. A Bud Light and they called it a Bud plug?

[D]

No, it was called Butt light the rest of the night.

[B]

Oh, Bud Light. There we go.

[D]

Yeah. It was so fun cleaning up the bar that night with all the caution tape around every neck of every Bud Light bottle.

[A]

Oh, I get it now. That's funny, man.

[D]

I think I burned my clothes that night.

[B]

Did you see her fall or was. Was this just a party trick?

[D]

It was an auto party trick. No, But I did see her slip and so I did kind of watch the whole thing go down in slow motion.

[B]

Poor girl.

[A]

I mean I know the physics that got up the physics that gotta line up for that to happen.

[B]

If that. If this dancer is still out there, I want to let you know that if you are still experiencing injuries from this, you can call 1-855-NICOLETTE Nicolet Law and if anybody out there has gotten a beer bottle stuck up your bum, Nicolay is the guy to call.

[A]

But also do we want to. If anyone out there is listening that's happened to. Do we want to talk to him or.

[B]

Yeah, please call us. Yeah, I think in fact if the stripper is out there, we would love to hear a firsthand.

[A]

Also we're not going to get her calling if we keep calling her stripper. She's a dancer.

[B]

Sorry.

[D]

Dancers.

[B]

Exotic dance professional. My bad. Yeah.

[A]

Come on, Chuck.

[B]

A Woody's 1099 recipient.

[D]

It was wild. It was loud. Some of the girls would bring their kids in at like 4pm Put them. They were going to be dancing out later that night. And then later that night I saw. I saw all of their mom.

[B]

A beer bottle go up the deal. That's one way to get tipped.

[D]

Hey, they made good. I think she did well. I would hope so.

[A]

All right, well, Daria, we're glad that we called you back after the technical difficulties because that was quite.

[D]

Yes. Yeah, it got better. It got better. Well, I appreciate you guys hanging in there and dealing with my mysteriousness, but I was trying to play it cool and not be a mean and bad ex because.

[A]

No, no, you're worried about that. You're not. And I don't. I don't think anyone's singing that. If they are, they can shut the hel up.

[B]

Yeah, they can. Shove a beer bottle up there.

[A]

Shove a. Shove a butt light right up that ass.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

All right, now I gotta go find somebody forklift certified, right?

[B]

Yeah, you do. She's looking for a fella. Get that forklift certified. All right. Well, you'll be good, Daria.

[D]

All right, thank you. Really nice talking to you guys.

[B]

Great talking to you too. Well, Miles, I took a minute to beat around the bush.

[A]

I mean, that was an all time Chuck Barron's quote.

[B]

Hey, I. I had some rippers in there, didn't I, Miles? Yeah.

[A]

Boofing a high life.

[B]

Yeah. Don't try it at home, kids. Don't try it at home. Try it at Woody's. Is this Sam?

[E]

This is. Is this Jared?

[B]

This Charlie?

[A]

This is Jared.

[E]

Oh, it's the Jared and Friends show.

[B]

Yes, it's Jared and Friends. I. I kind of like that name for the Bellied up podcast.

[E]

I mean, we could try and keep doing it that way if you want.

[B]

Sam, I am interested. Sam, do you have a sore throat?

[A]

No, I was going to say, is your kid asleep? Is it nap time?

[E]

No, this is just my voice.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Why, do you like it?

[A]

It's nice. Yeah, I just. It's. It's unique.

[E]

Oh, what's unique about it? Do I sound like I smoke?

[A]

Yeah, do you?

[E]

No. Never touched a cigarette in my life.

[B]

You sound sexy, Sam.

[A]

You just sound a little hoarse.

[E]

I mean, I know a horse.

[B]

He knows a horse. Sam, I hear you're a neurosurgeon.

[E]

No, I am a student. Going to school to get a PhD in neuroscience.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I want everyone to know that Jared did tell us that he's going to school for neuroscience. Just assumed he was going to be a neurosurgeon.

[B]

Where you. My bad. That's like saying. Never mind. Sam, what school are we at?

[E]

I'm at UW Milwaukee.

[B]

Ah, UW Milwaukee. The good one.

[E]

Just moved here. Well, I guess nine months ago.

[B]

But where'd you move from?

[E]

I was in Salt Lake City before that, and then Minnesota is where I grew up.

[A]

Okay, Minnesota Egan.

[E]

So just south of Twin Cities. Oh, yeah, you know it.

[A]

Oh, oh, yeah, sure.

[E]

That sounds like an bad. Oh, yeah, no.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I know it. So you're a pretty smart fella, huh?

[E]

No, I just swindled my way into this room with some smart people.

[A]

Okay, now what? You know who you know.

[E]

Yeah, exactly. Right.

[B]

So tell us, what's the latest and greatest going on with the brain?

[E]

I mean, we still got them. Yeah, I think Elon wants to hack him a little bit, but, yeah, we'll see if he succeeds there.

[B]

Freaking billionaires. Putting chips in our brains so they can collect all that data stored in some poor farmers land that these guys extorted. Criminals, dude, if they weren't so rich, they'd be in jail. Every last one of them. But how do I really feel?

[E]

You thought about it more than I have Maybe you should be doing.

[A]

Charlie thinks about it a lot.

[E]

I think it keeps them up at night.

[B]

Yeah, it does. It does. Yeah, it's a huge.

[A]

I got a question for you about the brain. I watched a TikTok the other day about that. The smoother your brain is, the dumber you are. And the more wrinkles your brain has, the smarter you are. Because when there's wrinkles in your brain means you got more matter in there and it has nowhere to go, so it's got a wrinkle over each other. Is that true?

[E]

That's the theory is that, you know, you gotta have more wrinkles so you can have more surface area for more gray matter and so that Charlie can spend more time thinking about hacking brains.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not thinking about hacking brains. I'm thinking about why are we doing that? You know, kind of a. Do we really need to.

[E]

Yeah, no, we don't need to do any of that.

[A]

So.

[B]

Mind control, Miles. Mind control.

[A]

So that would be the. That would be the one thing. They could be really bad, but the one thing that they are at least Trojan horsing with is that they're like helping blind people see. Yeah, and that's.

[B]

That's that and like, and like helping

[A]

people who can't walk be able to walk again and stuff like that.

[B]

Then just don't sell their third party data.

[A]

Right. No, yeah, I'm with you, but I think you said why would they be doing this? I gave you one, at least one reason.

[B]

It was true. Let me correct the record. That is a very positive end of it.

[E]

Is Miles just a bright side kind of guy?

[B]

Miles is a. He's sort of a guy who just.

[A]

I'll take whatever argument, Charlie. The opposite of whatever Charles says.

[E]

Yeah, I feel like I should know that by now. A few years of listening to you to argue.

[B]

Yeah, we're not arguing. We're just passionately disagreeing sometimes. Usually we agree.

[A]

I'll disagree with you on this. I'm just saying to a blanket statement that you don't know why they're doing it. I gave you at least one.

[B]

No, that's true. I do get that. I do get that. And I think that's a good reason to be clear. I think all the medical advancements. Why don't we start with those and just make sure their little science project actually works before they start sucking the rest of our data for no freaking reason other than sell us stuff we can't afford because a robot just took our jobs. Sam.

[A]

So who do you think's got a smoother brain? Chuck or I or. Yeah, me or Chuck.

[E]

Shoot, that's a big question. And I don't know if my brain's wrinkled enough to answer, but I do know that Jared has the most wrinkles out of all of us.

[A]

Wrinkly brain Jared, wrinkle brain Schumacher over there.

[E]

Hey, did Jared with all of the wrinkles in his brain did he tell you what I started off my, my voicemail with?

[B]

No, tell us.

[E]

Oh, I was telling Miles that he should fire a T shirt guy and hire me instead.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

We could use an aspiring neuroscientist.

[E]

I kind of figured if you got a doctor on your staff in a few years, you got some credibility there.

[A]

T shirts. T shirts aren't brain surgery,

[E]

so I should be all right with it.

[B]

Wait, are you thinking of being a doctor?

[E]

Not a, not a, not a doctor.

[A]

Kind of like, you know, like you got like bush light and bush. Yeah, yeah, he's kind of doing that. He's doing the bush light version of getting, of being a doctor.

[E]

That's a real good way of putting it.

[B]

Perfect.

[E]

A doctorate of philosophy, which,

[A]

I mean, that's, that's what you're getting.

[E]

That's what it is.

[A]

That's tough sledding. You're definitely going to need a job in four years.

[E]

I know, exactly. That's why I'm starting the networking now.

[A]

Smart.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So. Yeah.

[B]

How old are you?

[E]

How old do I sound like I am?

[B]

I mean, you could be anywhere from 23 to 68.

[E]

Okay. I'll tell you, I'm in that range. I'll be 29 next month.

[B]

Okay. There we go. That's about right.

[A]

So what were you doing before that you took to 29 to be going to school for this?

[E]

Oh, well, you don't have to rub it in. I, I goofed off all through high school, so I didn't get into college immediately. And then I realized that I should probably do something with my life and, you know, do what everyone else says to do. And so I went to college, but I took some time through community college to get the grades enough so that they'd stop asking for my high school transcript for the universities. So went to college and then finished school, got married, had a kid, and then realized I hate business. I was working in the solar industry for a little bit and decided to go back and here I am.

[A]

Nice.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So what, like, talk me through what a neuroscientist does.

[E]

Okay. Well, see, a lot of it's teaching classes and doing research because usually you're finding them at a university. So, I mean, my, if, if universities still exist, my long term goal is to be a professor.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

And so I'll be doing research. I, I, So you're gonna, you want

[A]

to spend your time wrinkling brains?

[E]

More wrinkling my own forehead and confusion about the wrinkled brains.

[B]

There you go. What do you want to do? Research in.

[E]

I studied human memory so how memory retention works.

[A]

You know that I did for a science fair project. Did a, did a, my own study on memory retention.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Oh yeah, Yeah. I had a list of 20 words and I had people look at them and then had them recite them to me in a certain order and mark down one all the words that they did remember accurately and if how close to the right order they got.

[B]

What did you find?

[A]

I found out that time definitely hurts memory retention.

[B]

Ah, okay.

[A]

So now if I was even a smarter seventh grader, I would have taken a step further and had a control group just get the list and then do it. And then I would have had something to test it on, like asking them to create an acronym for all the words and see how well they can remember it.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Or you take, you have them apply each word to their own life and see how that, how their memory works from that.

[B]

That's really inquisitive.

[A]

I just did step one of that.

[E]

Okay, well, you always need to leave room for follow up studies so you have a reason to do more research.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

There you go. So.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you think of my seventh grade science project?

[E]

I just think that, you know, with that in tow, you could throw that on a CV and apply for my lab next year.

[B]

Hey, why don't you recruit new grad students?

[A]

I mean, I already am a scientist.

[E]

Oh right, the exercise kind.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[E]

So you get science?

[A]

I mean, I get it. I. Yeah, I know my way around a lab. That's, that's my way around a hypothesis. I know my way.

[E]

Hypothesis.

[A]

Well, no, that's how I spell it. That's how I learned to spell it in eighth grade. Hypothesis, Hypothesis.

[B]

Hypothesis.

[E]

Yeah, I guess that would work. Hey, I'm teaching some students how to write. Could ya, could you teach them the hypothesis or whatever you said? Because they can't seem to get it right all the time.

[A]

Hypothesis, hypothesis. And just like that, I put another wrinkle in your brain.

[E]

There he goes. It's right up front. I can feel it banging.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

Wow, it works. Quick. He's like sitting in a hot tub too long, you know, Pruney.

[E]

What?

[A]

Yeah, brain got pruny sitting in the hot tub too long.

[B]

That'll happen. You're not supposed to put your head.

[A]

Charlie, I can tell you're trying to keep up with us scientists here. I know this is probably a lot. It's probably going right over your smooth brain right now.

[B]

It's just sliding right off it. Sliding Right off.

[A]

So just try and keep up. We don't expect you to.

[B]

But no, it's. I, I thank you for your patience.

[A]

So you want to talk neuroplasticity next? Because I'm all for that.

[B]

Well, no, I.

[E]

Well, you want to.

[A]

Yeah, let's talk neuroplasticity.

[E]

Plasticity or neurogenesis.

[A]

So it's, it's all about the. What is it? It's the myelin. Correct. In the, in the brain synapses, synopsis or whatever that synopsis that helps build new. New stuff. What it would remind me of that

[E]

the connections get strengthened as the myelin increase. The myelinated sheath is increased in capacity. You can more efficiently transfer action potentials from neuron. Miles really is a scientist, and the

[A]

way that you create more myelin, the thicker myelin is by doing new experiences and learning new things. Correct.

[E]

I mean, that certainly seems to help.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So got a. So they say, like to help prevent like Alzheimer's and dementia, they say to use your brain, but in fact that might potentially be wrong. And it's actually more. You need to learn new things in order to ward it off.

[E]

I think just using the brain in general is a good step because most people aren't.

[B]

Yeah, right. Just crossword puzzles,

[E]

if that helps you sleep at night.

[A]

Yeah, but you're not learning it. You've learned the skill of crosswords. And so once you do that, you're not necessarily thickening your myelin like you want to.

[B]

Okay, so fully new. Well, we do new things all the time.

[A]

Learning to eat with your non dominant hand.

[B]

Ah. Or bowling left handed.

[A]

Bowling left handed. Those types of. Of things. Going out and learning new things.

[E]

I think just doing anything. It is. That makes you have to think is going to be better than not.

[B]

Well, that's correct.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's, that's, that's.

[E]

I wouldn't just tell people they need new skills and that's the way to a long, healthy life.

[A]

I didn't say that. I said it's a way to make sure that your brain is still active and learning and growing.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, so new skills is basically that.

[A]

So I've also learned that the, the neuroplasticity in children is unbelievable.

[E]

Oh, it's wild. Well, Miles, you know, you have a kid, Miles. My daughter was born like a month before your kid. And so I feel like we're in the same spot. You see it every day. My daughter learned how to turn on Finding Nemo on her own.

[A]

Oh yeah. My kid knows where paw patrol Is on the television.

[B]

Does he?

[E]

I hate paw patrol.

[A]

You don't Paw patrol.

[E]

Oh, it's so annoying.

[A]

What do you mean having. You know, there's a guy who seems like a kid, takes in these puppies that aren't even actually dogs. They're just puppies, and they're like the. The rescue team for a town. That seems like a good plan. But anyways. Yeah, I think it's. I think it's a wild thing and how they can bounce back.

[E]

Oh, it's nuts.

[A]

Paw patrol or the Brain?

[B]

The Brain Paw Patrol, too.

[A]

I mean, paw patrol.

[E]

I was going with both.

[B]

Yeah, those guys don't let anything stand in their way.

[A]

Who's your favorite paw Patroller?

[C]

The dog.

[A]

Shoot.

[E]

I don't even know their names, dude.

[B]

The blue one.

[E]

The one that has the fire truck guy.

[A]

Chase. That's on the case. He. Charlie. That is such. That's like saying that the red Power Ranger is your favorite ranger. Yeah, mine was the green.

[B]

Mine.

[A]

My favorite paw patroller is Rubble. He's kind of a goofball. He's a bulldog.

[E]

Is that the one that does, like, the construction kind of stuff?

[A]

Yeah, he pours concrete, so, yeah, that adds up.

[E]

Were you the muse for that one?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I'd like to think so. The. The fire truck one's Marshall.

[B]

Marshall.

[E]

Oh, that's my guy. Yeah, I'm a big fan of Marshall.

[B]

Yeah, he's.

[E]

Oh, he's always putting out fires.

[A]

It's Fire Marshall. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. Oh, shoot, Jared. That's the wrinkles talking.

[B]

Look at Jared with the big brain.

[E]

Wrinkly brain over there.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like an old shirt under my car seat. I have so many wrinkles.

[B]

Look at that dude. Look at that one.

[E]

That got worn in the rain. And so those wrinkles are real set in.

[B]

That's exactly what my brain is, man.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I just feel like every podcast we do, my seat is getting colder and colder, and Jared's is just getting hotter.

[A]

It would be the opposite. It's okay. You have a smooth brain. It's fine. But if you're.

[E]

If you.

[A]

If you're on the. The chopping block, that means you're in the hot seat.

[B]

Well, he's on fire, though, is what I was.

[A]

You're so. It's so hot that it actually is cold, is what you're saying.

[B]

Yeah. You don't want to be in the cold seat, though, because that's kind of boring.

[E]

It's okay, Charlie. Jared was kind of cold to me. It bellied up live out here.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I was.

[E]

Yeah, I. I waved at him and he just looked the other way. I said, hey, Jared, and he didn't even bat an eye.

[A]

Yeah, that was in Milwaukee.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow. I remember. You were at that shooting.

[E]

I was at that. Yeah.

[A]

Pretty drug.

[E]

No, I. I talked to you guys, but I didn't think you could hear me because he said my voice was too soft.

[B]

Did we. We said that too. Sounds like something Miles would say.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm sorry, Sam.

[E]

Oh, it's all right. I'll get over it.

[B]

Sam, I am sorry. What are. What's your. What's your hope, though, aside from being a professor? Do you have. Do you have something?

[E]

I hope to raise a happy family.

[B]

There you go. Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Good.

[E]

I mean, can you ask for more than that?

[A]

No.

[B]

You guys liter.

[A]

Nothing else I was gonna say that seems, but kinda actually, you know.

[E]

Well, a boat would be nice too. I'd like a punch.

[B]

Yeah, he wants a punch.

[A]

I would like a golf cart to ride around at the lake. That'd be kind of nice.

[E]

I'd like to have a lake with a place on it that I could have a golf cart to ride around for.

[A]

Yeah, there you go. Yeah, that's a good point. But other than that, you don't need anything else. And you could maybe, you know, use an ice.

[E]

Well, you have an idea? Ice castle.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Ice Mahal.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

No, I'm not a big ice fisherman.

[B]

No. Well, you should. That's a new experience. It would add some wrinkles to your brain.

[E]

I could add some wrinkles. I'd like a new bike.

[B]

Oh, you're a big biker, huh? What kind of bike you want?

[E]

I like mountain biking.

[B]

Nice, dude.

[E]

Something. Something full squish, full suspension.

[A]

You know, that's when I. When I hear you. When I hear you talk. I don't picture you as a mountain biker.

[B]

What do you picture him as?

[A]

I view him as like a guy sitting on a Harley. That kind of.

[E]

I. I don't look like a mountain biker.

[A]

Okay, so you are. You are. You're a thick, stocky fella.

[E]

I mean, stocky, I feel like, implies short.

[A]

Okay, well, you're just. You're a thick guy. You sound like you're 63240.

[E]

Wow, Jared's close. What other guesses we got?

[B]

61 2, 30.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Miles, I think you're 5 11. Well, if you're 5 11, 255.

[E]

Okay, so I'm 65280.

[B]

Oh, wow. Yeah, you're a tall drink of water.

[A]

Your offensive tackle weren't you so tall.

[E]

What? Oh, geez. You want to hear about the glory days?

[B]

Yeah, let's hear it. Open the year all.

[E]

All star, all time jv. Saturday morning champ.

[A]

Wow.

[E]

Oh, I got to skip the film. The morning lift. None of that was for me. It was Saturday mornings, 10am and then straight to the Philly cheesesteak spot afterwards. And we had a better record than the varsity guys.

[B]

No kidding.

[A]

It's all those Philly cheese steaks.

[E]

Exactly. You gotta, you know, fill it out, make it harder to move you.

[A]

Yeah, when. Yeah, when you said mountain biker, I was like, okay, there's no way he's a skinny guy.

[E]

No, not at all. I don't fit the bill. But it's still fun.

[A]

You got to be the largest neuro scientist in the lab at all times.

[E]

That. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the case.

[B]

That's great. And the oldest probably, right?

[E]

No, there's a couple people that are senior to me.

[A]

Okay, nice.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's cool. Any. Anything. Any advice we can give you on your career.

[E]

How to have one.

[B]

Ah, well, I guess he did call in for a job initially. Miles, what do you think? Are you guys.

[E]

Oh, sorry. I stopped because I wanted to hear the answer to this question.

[B]

Oh, are you guys hiring over there at. You betcha.

[A]

Miles, have you ever watched Drum Line? No.

[E]

You?

[A]

I have.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Nick Cannon.

[E]

Oh, nice.

[B]

He's brought it up a few times.

[E]

Yeah, I know who that is.

[A]

You get to. At some point, you get to play for the job on the varsity drumline team. So basically, you and another. Well, whoever's in. So let's say you're a drummer. You and another drummer. You. You call someone out and you drum against them to try and win their spot. And then there's a judge judging who was better in the drum off, and you get their spot.

[E]

So I'm designing a better T shirt.

[A]

So you're gonna do a drum off with T shirt guy, and that will determine if you're in or out.

[E]

Oh, shoot.

[B]

Do you have a mustache?

[E]

I've got a beard and mustache combo.

[B]

Okay, Just make it a mustache.

[E]

I can grow chest hair.

[B]

Oh, nice. Dude.

[E]

That's got to be it.

[A]

What else do you have that T shirt guy doesn't have? I like this.

[E]

I mean, he. Is he going to listen to this or are you just going to tell

[A]

him, never listen to this. You have a brain.

[E]

I have wrinkles.

[A]

Wrinkles Bellied up podcast. The only place where wrinkles is considered a good thing.

[E]

No, I don't know, let's see. I use a gas lawnmower.

[A]

He now does too, though, so that's tough.

[E]

Yeah, but I was using it first.

[B]

Well, that's true. Trend center.

[A]

He had the mustache first.

[B]

Burp Miles. I gotta.

[E]

Is he still growing the rat?

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Oh, that's nice. I have this deep, gravelly voice that makes me sound like I've smoked a ton, but I've never touched a cigarette in my life. Okay, he made. He's touched a cigarette in his life. I might be more sober.

[A]

Yeah. But not on purpose, ever. It was always an accidental.

[B]

Well, it was.

[E]

His college buddies just kind of threw it at him.

[A]

Yeah, he was. He was laughing, and someone threw a cigarette, and it landed in his mouth, and then he tripped and fell on the lighter, and it lit it, and then he had to breathe at some point, so he sucked it in and breathe it out.

[B]

It happens, man. It happened. You can fall on a beer bottle the wrong way, too.

[E]

You have experience falling on a beer bottle the wrong way, Charlie?

[B]

I know a gal in northern Maine that had boof.

[A]

The high life. What?

[B]

Yeah. Y.

[A]

True story.

[B]

Yeah. This will. This will put some wrinkles on your dome, I tell you that much. I learned something new today, and I think we all did. Sometimes two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. And sometimes they can. Or bottle, but, you know. Did you like that play on words? They can. They bottle. You like that?

[E]

Oh, I didn't catch it.

[B]

Stay with me here. Sam.

[E]

I'm here. Oh, shoot. I'm trying.

[B]

No, that's all right. Well, listen, Sam the man, it's nice

[A]

that I got your phone number. I might call you when I'm on a long drive. At some point, we could talk neuroplasticity.

[E]

And, you know, you go for it. We didn't even get to neurogenesis, so we got plenty of time, dude.

[A]

What's actually very funny is I actually would just call you on a whim at some point, so I'm gonna get your number from Jared.

[E]

That would be hilarious. He'd catch me way off guard, but I'm not opposed.

[B]

It's always good to have a resident brain guy on speed dial just ready to go. Yeah, well, shoot.

[E]

I've got one question that I gotta ask before. Yeah, you're trying to get me off the line, but. So I'm not a. I'm not a big drinker at all. I've something that I've just stayed away from.

[B]

Sure.

[E]

I feel like you feel like I'm not The guy for that.

[A]

Better for the brain, I can tell you that much.

[E]

That, you know, that's true. But, Charlie, I've got a. I've got a question about brandy. Old fashioned.

[B]

Yeah, shoot.

[E]

So the. The guy that I work for here, he came from Texas, and he was telling me yesterday all about whiskey, old fashions, and I thought that maybe a good gift for, you know, either winter time or finishing up this semester would be kind of a. A kit or some stuff for him to make some brandy. Old fashioned.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

So other than the Baron's Brandy, not a sponsor. What the hell goes into one?

[C]

Sure.

[E]

What do I need to get this guy?

[B]

Well, you get yourself tackle box first. Okay. One of those. And then put the brandy in the bottom of the tackle box and put.

[E]

Does it need to be a used tackle box?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Go to Goodwill, get a used tackle box. Sure, whatever. That just adds to the flavor. Then you want to put the bottle of brandy down there and then a little jar of cherries, depending on the size you have left a bottle of bitters. Okay. From there you.

[E]

What's a bitter?

[B]

Bitters is a. It's a aperitif. It's a tea made with Everclear. It comes in a small bottle.

[A]

It tastes bitter.

[B]

Tastes bitter, Very bitter. But that offsets the sugar, by the way. You want some sugar cubes in there, and you want some toothpicks and. Or nails, whatever. You got to hold the garnish and then throw yourself in a muddler. And that's pretty much, you know, pretty much it. You could also do a jar of olives. I don't know how much room you're gonna have in this tackle box.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Jollofs? Yeah, a little. And then put yourself a soda in there. If he's a sweet or sour soda. Yeah, soda. Like a squirt, a jolly good. Something like that the other day. Yeah. All right. I mean, that'll get you jacked up there, man.

[E]

Timer right there.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good soda, but I think that'll pretty much do you pretty right. If you want to get fancy, you can put some cocktail napkins in there or something like that, but put a

[E]

little umbrella on top.

[B]

That's not necessary, but a nice thought. You know, you could toss it in there.

[A]

And now that you bring it up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Chuck would love to send you some brandy.

[B]

Yeah, I would love, love to do that. Since this is the sponsor of the podcast. Yeah, sponsor.

[A]

You get anything for this, you just.

[D]

Just.

[B]

You just send us your address and we'll get you A bottle

[A]

instead of an umbrella on Old fashioned. It'd be funny if it was like a pontoon cover.

[B]

Oh, that's kind of nice. That's kind of nice. Yeah, a little. I don't know how you think. Just like a little pop up, like

[A]

that's some wrinkle brain.

[C]

Wrinkle, wrinkle brain.

[B]

Jared. Coming in hot.

[E]

Jared, Jared, Jared, be honest with me. Are you wasting your wrinkles over?

[B]

I think I might be.

[A]

It might be.

[B]

I don't know. He's slowly plotting something, I'm not sure what, but he gets up at 6am to go for walks every morning.

[E]

Holy cow. You didn't sign up for another half marathon, did you?

[A]

No, not yet. The weight journey is going pretty bad right now. I think I've.

[E]

Oh no.

[B]

Well, he came to Wisconsin. That's.

[E]

Well, you go up so you can go down. Are you Wisconsin right now?

[B]

Yep. No, he's. He's in Wisconsin. He's not Wisconsin night. We're all in Three Lakes. We're up north right now.

[E]

I'm going to pretend like I know where that is, but I don't know where anything is.

[B]

The spirit view, you look at your hand, you look at your right hand. It's kind of like just north of the middle finger. Middle knuckle.

[E]

Okay, I'll hold up that finger. Oh, there it is.

[B]

Yeah, there, you got it.

[E]

Okay. All right.

[B]

Right in that neck of the woods. Kinda.

[E]

That's good to know. That's good to know.

[B]

Yeah. Come on up sometime.

[E]

Oh, I want to make it up there to Door County. I've heard is the place to go.

[B]

Oh, it's a place to go for sure. And there's some nice spots there, but anywhere, just north is pretty good. So you get in your car and add some wrinkles to your brain. And watch out for deer on your way too, because they are.

[E]

I will.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, that's good. All good.

[A]

Well, I appreciate it, dude. This is great. And you know, I know it was probably tough for you for a sec there, Charlie, just trying to keep up with us, but yeah.

[E]

Oh, it was just hard for me to slow down enough. Wasn't it for you, Miles?

[A]

Oh my God, dude, that's so funny. I was literally, you know, on a lawnmower. They have the rabbit and the turtle. I was on full turtle there.

[E]

You got a self propelled mower. That's some fancy stuff.

[A]

Yeah, I mean I got a. I got a rider.

[E]

Oh, geez.

[A]

Yeah, that's what happens when you're not in college anymore.

[E]

Start battling T shirt guy, that's for sure.

[B]

I want to see that battle too. I want Miles to fly you up.

[E]

You want T shirt guy to fight a six five giant? That guy?

[B]

No, just a giant. A wrinkly brain guy, that's all.

[E]

Oh. Oh, boy.

[B]

Well, Sam, it was a pleasure chit chatting with you, my guy. A real place.

[E]

Good chat with y'.

[D]

All.

[B]

All right, you'll be good now. And you hang in there, okay?

[E]

You too. Y' all get some more wrinkles.

[B]

All right? Thank you, Sam.

[E]

All right, Real good. Later.

[A]

Well, Miles, we did it again in the tank of the bank and Monplaisure show.

[B]

Yes, with special guest Jared, who's gonna be taking our job soon.

[A]

All right, well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bellied up podcast.

[B]

Tip your bartender.

[A]

Tip your bartender, and we'll see you the next one.

[B]

All right. Okay.

[E]

Hope you guys have a good one.

[B]

Goodbye now. Toodaloo.