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Charlie Barrons
Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. I'm here with my friend Charlie Barrons, and we are at the Old town Tavern, the Ott.
Miles
You down with Ott?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, you know me.
Miles
You down with Ott?
Charlie Barrons
YeahS, you know Steve?
Miles
I know Steve.
Charlie Barrons
My name's not Steve.
Miles
They got.
Charlie Barrons
We're an appleton chart.
Miles
They got a beer claw here, Miles. A beer claw. The claw chooses who can come, who will. Okay? So you just go pick a beer. All them beers. Oh, shit.
Charlie Barrons
Hot coffee. Hot coffee on my.
Miles
Sorry, dude.
Charlie Barrons
Fuck.
Miles
That's all over you. Oh, man, is that wet? Yeah, it is, sugar tits. I'm so sorry, Miles. I didn't mean it. Dude, I was looking at the beer claw. Oh, that's gonna stain on that nice sweatshirt, too. I am so sorry. Let me help you. Sorry, sorry.
Charlie Barrons
You're only gonna pat my dick.
Miles
Well, I'm patting around your dick, all right, Trying to help. I'm sorry.
Charlie Barrons
The only sweatshirt I brought.
Miles
Really?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Well, I have to raw dog my arms all the whole trip.
Miles
Dude, how did it spill that fast? I can't believe I did that. Oh, I'm so sorry. You can spill out me later if you want. Let me wipe off your.
Charlie Barrons
This is a classic situation.
Miles
Wipe off.
Charlie Barrons
You hit your. You hit your brother a little bit too hard. So then instead of telling mom, you're like, no, you can hit me back even harder.
Miles
Oh, jeez. You know, I. It's not my fault. It is the beer claws fault. I mean, who puts a beer claw in a bar and doesn't expect accidents like this to happen? Oh, sorry, Miles. You okay? You can be all right. Yikes.
Charlie Barrons
Yes, I am going to be okay.
Miles
Damn, that sucks.
Charlie Barrons
Although I may have to sue you. Now, that was some pretty hot coffee. And I don't know what kind of burns I'm going to get underneath these pants.
Miles
Well, unfortunately, it's a yeti coffee cup, which means it doesn't work.
Charlie Barrons
Well, that was your first mistake, Charlie. Oh, maybe next time try closing the lid when you're not using it.
Miles
How about Habitat for Humanity, folks? I was plugged.
Charlie Barrons
Charity at a moment like this.
Miles
No, I was just over there trying.
Charlie Barrons
To make you seem like a better human.
Miles
Just over there this morning helping them put together a few houses for the less fortunate. And Miles is worried about a little bit of spilled coffee. You know, it's all about keeping things in perspective, Effective. And that's what I want the kids out there to know. Hey, Miles, you know the worst part about coffee when it spills is the smell after.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
Just smells like crotch rot, you know?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, yeah, you know that. My good pants, too.
Miles
Those are your goods.
Charlie Barrons
I'm gonna have to utilize the laundry at the hotel.
Miles
Oh, man.
Charlie Barrons
Like a dunce.
Miles
Wow. Yeah, you always know if you're doing laundry at the hotel. Some went wrong.
Charlie Barrons
Go wrong.
Miles
You know, people aren't just planning on doing laundry at the hot. Well, anyway, how's your day going otherwise, Miles?
Charlie Barrons
It's still going good, Charlie.
Miles
All right.
Charlie Barrons
You know, I'm used to stuff like.
Miles
This with you now, folks, this was not planned, okay? Don't think we just did this for a cheap bit off the top of the show. Miles is sincerely pissed off right now. And. Yeah, nothing you can do about it, though. It's in the past. The past is the past. Miles, you want to play the beer cola machine? This is the wrong time to ask, but do you have quarters?
Charlie Barrons
Holy.
Miles
Is this a belly up?
Amanda
Oh, my God.
Miles
I'm on the third floor.
Charlie Barrons
What's up, boys?
Miles
How you doing?
Emily
I'm.
Braylon
I'm doing fantastic.
Charlie Barrons
How are you guys?
Miles
Oh, fantastic too. Yeah, that's great.
Charlie Barrons
What are you doing right now? You sound out of breath.
Braylon
I'm at. I'm at work.
Charlie Barrons
I'm the foreman.
Patty
But we're okay.
Braylon
We're safe in the truck.
Charlie Barrons
What were you. If you're the foreman, what were you doing out of the truck?
Braylon
You know, I'm a fool. I had my bags on. I should have known better.
Charlie Barrons
What do you do? What do you do for work? Where do you work at?
Braylon
I'm an electrician. I'm an electrician in Missoula, Montana.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, we got a sparky on our hair.
Miles
There we go. When was the last time you electric electrocuted yourself?
Braylon
Oh, boys, I electrocuted myself in front of a whole office in the main building.
Miles
Were you on something tall? Did you fall with it too?
Braylon
No, luckily I was making up a switch and I was. I was just trying to get it done and doing a hot. And I accidentally touched the lives screw and I. I did a jump and I made it. And.
Emily
And the.
Braylon
And the gal behind me and behind the desk goes, oh, my goodness, are you okay? She wanted to. She wanted to call the cops on me.
Charlie Barrons
He touched a hot wire and turned into Michael Jackson. Ow. So are you wearing a quarter zip Carhartt sweatshirt right now?
Miles
You're.
Charlie Barrons
You're close.
Braylon
I'm wearing a blaze orange Carhartt sweatshirt.
Miles
All right, there we go.
Charlie Barrons
Quarter Carhartt sweatshirt is a uniform for all electricians, I swear. Charlie. Yeah.
Braylon
Yeah, that's exactly right. And the, then the really expensive hard hat because we just make all the money.
Charlie Barrons
That is true. You guys have someone, you have a limo driver pick you up and take you home from work every day too.
Braylon
It's, it's not, it's not a limo driver. It's. I bought us. I bought a Ferrari and I have my chauffeur drive me.
Charlie Barrons
That is a baller move. You buy a Ferrari and don't even drive.
Miles
Oh man.
Charlie Barrons
Well, Connor, why don't you belly up with us? You Conor is like you said, from Montana and he is wondering how he can convince his wife to let him buy a snow machine. Is that true, Connor?
Braylon
That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Me and my wife just learned that we're pregnant just in time for snowmobile season.
Miles
Congratulations.
Charlie Barrons
Congratulations.
Miles
Congratulations.
Braylon
Thanks.
Charlie Barrons
Well, she always on the sex, by the way.
Miles
Yeah. Good for you.
Braylon
I've done it at least once. We can prove it.
Charlie Barrons
Well, not yet. If she's just pregnant.
Miles
Yeah. Could come out not looking like you.
Braylon
You know, if it comes out anything other than redhead, I'll be suspicious.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I got a kid with blonde hair and blue eyes, so I'm pretty suspicious as well.
Miles
Hey, I have blue eyes, Charlie.
Charlie Barrons
Watch it make you a face in the wrong direction.
Braylon
You should have been facing east. You're probably facing west.
Miles
All right, so yeah, your wife doesn't want you by a snow machine, huh?
Braylon
That's exactly right. I, I, I have enough to get a snow machine. But she says that paying, paying the hospital bills to pull this baby out of her is more important.
Miles
Well, here's a, here's something to keep in mind. All right, first and foremost, Ferraris are not known for driving in the snow. Very good. So you gotta have a snow machine to get her to the hospital.
Charlie Barrons
That is true.
Miles
Yeah. And the hospital bills can take care of themselves after the fact. All right, I agree.
Braylon
I've been trying to tell her if we get a freak snowstorm, my Ferrari won't make it to the grocery store. But a snow machine sure will.
Miles
Yes.
Charlie Barrons
Right?
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And it's much easier to put a car seat on the back of a snowmobile than in a Ferrari.
Miles
Yeah. Yes it is.
Braylon
Oh yeah. You just got enough tie downs I could make it work.
Miles
There you go.
Charlie Barrons
He's ratchet straps the kid on the snow machine. That's kids not going anywhere.
Miles
Going anywhere. Your wife can ride behind in a toboggan. No, I mean, I look, I think, I mean how, what's the going Rate to have a kid these days.
Braylon
Shoot, Miles, it sounds like. It sounds like you'd know best.
Miles
We're.
Braylon
My wife is a nurse, and she has hospital health care, but it sounds like the going rates about a double deductible. So it sounds like It'd be about $6,000, which would be a slick sled.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
What?
Charlie Barrons
That sounds about right. That sounds about right.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, in reality, it's like, why can't you just have both, you know? Yeah, yeah, I know you're an electrician and you have exp. Taste, but just maybe get a used snow machine that's a little cheaper.
Miles
Yeah. And buy now, think about it later. That's the American way. All right. Put that baby on layaway.
Braylon
Shoot, I forgot I have a credit card. Yeah, you're totally right.
Miles
Right.
Charlie Barrons
Rack it up.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
I imagine that after he had done the deed, you know, you get that post nut clarity. Immediately afterwards, he was like, I just lost my snow machine. We just sitting on the end of the bed, smoking a cigarette, going, God, what could have been.
Miles
Head in the hand, just looking out.
Braylon
The window, asks, what's wrong? Yeah. When my wife asks what's wrong, I just gotta say, nothing. Don't worry about it, honey.
Charlie Barrons
We're pregnant, damn it.
Miles
Now, what you have to do to convince your wife is to prove to her that a snow machine is not a sunk cost. It's an investment in your fatherhood. You know, you are going to be so much more relaxed as a dad. You're going to be so much better of a parent by having this snow machine in your life. And from a very practical standpoint, it's an escape vehicle. If you guys get a lot of snow out there in Montana, what if a grizzly bear comes knocking tears apart your Ferrari? You guys have nowhere to go. You need that snow machine.
Braylon
Oh, absolutely. I. I think you hit it on the head when I. So when I become a dad, I'm gonna have to fall into one of the dad categories. And I can't play golf for. So I'll be the snowmobile dad.
Miles
Exactly. Exactly.
Charlie Barrons
You know, you still could do the golf. Because a lot of us still can't play golf for. And that doesn't stop us. So.
Miles
Yeah, you could do. You could do golf on a snow machine. Have that be winter golf. Have that be your golf cart.
Charlie Barrons
Just paint the golf balls neon orange.
Miles
Yeah. You can even do, like, golf polo on the snow machine. Like, you know, that would be fun. That's a whole new sport.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
That's how you Pay for it.
Braylon
The best redneck sport I've ever heard of.
Miles
Yes, and we just invented it here. Okay, so get the snow machine. It's winter now. And start shooting videos of you playing snow lo. That snow polo. And. And you're gonna. You. You are gonna be a multi millionaire, my guy.
Charlie Barrons
And then you can have all the babies you want.
Braylon
Oh, that is genius. Okay, that's. Do you think the YouTube handle Snowlow has been taken?
Charlie Barrons
No, no, not a chance.
Miles
No, this just came out of the dome.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, and this comes out later, so you have time to get that handle.
Miles
Yeah, get the handle and start shooting these videos, man. We got. You got money to make. And say, babe, think about all the kids we can have when we're multimillionaires. Does she want more than one kid?
Braylon
She. She wants the one, but I keep telling her either two or four so we don't end up with the oldest, middlest, youngest syndrome.
Miles
I got news for you. That syndrome exists no matter how many kids you got. I'm one of 12. We've just got like 10 middle children. We all have attention issues. That's why I'm on this podcast right now.
Braylon
That's a great point.
Charlie Barrons
Now, one thing to think about, to save some money on the hospital bills. Just. Your. Your wife's a nurse. She's got to know what to do.
Miles
She knows how to do it.
Charlie Barrons
Have a home birth.
Miles
Yeah. You guys got a good bathtub? I got.
Braylon
I got a bathtub. We can. We can do that. I see she's really. She gets cold really quickly, so I would have to be just filling the water and emptying it and keeping her warm the whole time. We could. We could do that.
Miles
Yeah.
Braylon
But I think I. I think the difficulty would be more on my side for that kind of a pregnancy. That's too much work for me.
Miles
Well, get yourself a. A mid wife.
Charlie Barrons
Cost money, Charlie. Less money towards the snow machine.
Miles
We'll give the midwife free snow machine lessons.
Charlie Barrons
You brought up YouTube. There's YouTube as a video for everything. There's gotta be a tutorial on how to have a home birth on YouTube.
Miles
Yeah, we know. Half of your electrical work is. You YouTube in it before you do this thing.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, and the time that he electrocuted himself in front of all those people is he didn't look at it on.
Miles
YouTube or he was looking at YouTube while he was doing it.
Braylon
That's a great idea. So I'll tell my pregnant nurse wife to just pick up some. Some overtime shifts. Then I can get my Snow machine.
Miles
That's not what we said. Okay. That is the worst. That's the worst idea ever.
Charlie Barrons
I love how our solution isn't just trade in your Ferrari for something a little bit more economical. You can't do that.
Miles
No.
Braylon
Okay, so the best thing I'm hearing right now is home birth, and then I can have them both.
Miles
Correct. Don't forget snow low. All right. Yeah, yeah, and snow low.
Braylon
Yeah, and snow low.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, how hard can it be? I. You know, I went through it once. It's really just getting under center and going, Boo. 42. Hot brown, high brown. And then the baby comes out listening to the.
Braylon
I've been listening to you bet your podcast about Ryan's birth, and sounds like all he had to do was hold a leg and play her guitar. I figure I can do that.
Charlie Barrons
That's it, man. That's all it is. I was a smart one, though. I didn't have to do any work. The nurse asked me if I wanted to hold the leg. I said no, you got it. What else am I paying you for? You know.
Miles
That'S like, I. I'm.
Charlie Barrons
I'm not one to fall for the scam where you go to those restaurants where you have to cook the food and you pay more money to do it. I. I think those are dumb.
Miles
Yeah. Yeah. That's like going to the. Going to the grocery store and you checking it out. You're like, do I work here now?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Self checkout is a racket.
Braylon
Yeah, Self checkout for a baby. So I can kind of get Skip some things past the scanner.
Miles
Yeah. Oh, man. Now, well, congratulations on both your baby and your new snow machine.
Charlie Barrons
Do you know what you're having yet, or are you guys waiting?
Braylon
We just had our first. Our first ultrasound, but she's gonna want to do some kind of baby reveal, and I told her we can do a baby reveal as long as we burn down a little bit of forest.
Charlie Barrons
You sound like the rest of the country.
Miles
Yeah. Oh, perfect. Perfect.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, what. What gender reveal should he do?
Miles
Charlie do it with? Okay, so you get. You tell her that it's going to be either you guys get a pink snow machine or a blue snow machine.
Charlie Barrons
There you go.
Miles
And. But really, it's gonna be a red snow machine because you probably don't want a pink one. Although a pink snow machine could kind of be cool. Or you put some sort of fluid in the exhaust. Well, that's gonna ruin it. But wouldn't it be cool if you could, like, find the color of your exhaust?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
No, that's it. Okay. Yeah. So your first snowball game, you're gonna reveal the sex of the baby.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Instead of having a normal ball, it's gonna be one that explodes on impact.
Miles
Yes.
Charlie Barrons
Does a smoke thing like they do with the golf balls.
Miles
Yes. Yes. Yeah, it's gonna be.
Charlie Barrons
Could you imagine a slow mo video of him ripping on a snow machine with this? With his.
Miles
Millions of views.
Charlie Barrons
Millions of views too, Charlie. We could do. If you guys wanted to let us know, we could do the first ever bellied up gender reveal call.
Miles
Oh, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Throwing it out there.
Miles
We can give you a little. A little spark here for your new Snowlow YouTube channel.
Braylon
Oh, that's genius. We would love that. That's a great idea.
Miles
So the way you say this to your wife is, honey, I'm not buying a snow machine. Don't worry. I am starting a side business and buy the machine, buy the exploding golf balls, and then here's the good thing. It takes a lot of time for businesses to make money. So this is all a write off. You're basically making money. You can't afford not to buy this snow machine is what I'm saying. This is. Is a ski. Don't test me right now because I know what I'm doing. You like that ski, dude?
Charlie Barrons
Let's not skip over the fact that he's pretty keen on us doing the gender reveal party.
Miles
Oh, so are we going to Montana?
Charlie Barrons
No, he's going to call in and we'll review it live on the podcast.
Miles
That's true. So now you have proof to give the IRS when they obviously are going to question this.
Braylon
Absolutely. Well, we could do both. During the first Snow Low game, you guys could be the commentator.
Miles
That's it. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Now you have plenty of proof to give the IRS when they come a calling.
Braylon
Yep, Exactly.
Miles
Perfect. Well, we got a business here set up. We got a baby on the way. I. I'm feeling pretty good. Just don't kill yourself with electricity before now and then.
Braylon
Okay. So my main goal right now is to not die from electricity and to buy a snow machine and convince the wife it is a business venture. I like it.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And the home birth.
Miles
Yup.
Charlie Barrons
That'S it. That's all you got to do. Okay.
Braylon
Okay, I think we can figure that out.
Miles
Wonderful. Well, Connor, another. Another issue solved here on the Bellied up podcast. Thank you for calling in.
Braylon
Well, thanks, boys. I really appreciate it. It was super cool talking to you.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Before you go, I got one more question. Okay.
Miles
All right. All right.
Charlie Barrons
As A foreman and electrician. I want you to give me the top tips of being a construction foreman. Okay?
Miles
You.
Braylon
You nailed it on the head by saying, don't get out of your truck. Unfortunately, I'm behind, so I have to get out of my truck. But you can betcha I walk around and I look at one of my guys while they're working, and I don't say nothing. I look at him and I kind of look around and I just walk away. I don't say a single word.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Then he starts doing all sorts of paranoia in your head.
Miles
You know, just your presence is productivity more. Yeah.
Braylon
It's a mind game. Absolutely.
Miles
Huh. Judgmentalize. I like it. What else?
Braylon
Let's see. The other thing that I like to do is I like to. I like to call one of my guys and be really serious, say, hey, I need you to come out to the truck right now, immediately. And then when they get out here, I just say, hey, how's your day going?
Charlie Barrons
It's getting kind of boring here sitting in the truck by myself, and I've listened to every podcast I could. So what's going on, man?
Miles
I just wanted you to come over. So I had an excuse to roll down the window because it was getting kind of hot in here. Exactly.
Charlie Barrons
And he's. And he's wondering why he's behind, and he has to actually get out of the truck. I like that. Yeah. I mean, for everything I've heard, you're not lying. You are a foreman. You got that thing dialed in.
Braylon
I listened to. I listen to your guys podcasts every day, especially by you doing concrete and being down in a hole. So I've taken all that straight to heart.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, you got it easy. You know, you're usually working in an enclosed area. You know, you. You don't have to get all muddy and dirty and deal with people who live out of a cardboard box and have to bike to work every day. You know, you're the high class.
Braylon
That's exactly right. We're better than everyone. And then. And don't forget.
Charlie Barrons
You really are an electrician, aren't you?
Braylon
I haven't touched a broom in years.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, someone will clean that up. Are you a master electrician or. Or what?
Braylon
Nope, I'm a. I'm a journeyman electrician. That's. And that's all you got to be to really be a foreman around here.
Charlie Barrons
All right. Do you have aspirations to be a master electrician or no?
Braylon
So the first time I took my journeyman test, I got a 38%. And I. And I got lucky to pass the test in the first place. I think we're going to leave her here.
Charlie Barrons
You can get a 38% on your journeyman test.
Miles
First time. First time, Right. He had to then go past it.
Braylon
No, that was the first try. The second try, I sat in my truck and toked on a little bit of electric lettuce and then went in and passed it.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, my God. Is that how you electrocuted yourself? Too much electric lettuce?
Braylon
We. We keep things interesting around here. We. We gotta.
Charlie Barrons
We gotta.
Braylon
We gotta make it fun.
Miles
Yeah, it's good.
Charlie Barrons
I like this, though. He knows his. He knows his ceiling. He's like, this is as high as I go, literally.
Miles
Oh, man. Well, thank you, Connor. We appreciate you, my guy. Yeah, thanks.
Braylon
Thanks for talking to me. You boys watch out for deer, all right?
Miles
You too.
Charlie Barrons
Congratulations, too, by the way.
Miles
Yeah, congrats.
Braylon
Hey, thanks, guys. I'll talk to you.
Miles
All right.
Charlie Barrons
Good one.
Miles
Oh, man, he's great.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I would love to work for him.
Miles
He sounds awesome as a boss, you know, A lot of good energy in that one.
Charlie Barrons
You ever electrocute yourself, Charlie?
Miles
Yeah, yeah, I have. I told you about that.
Charlie Barrons
I did have my water heater.
Miles
Really?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
What were you doing?
Charlie Barrons
I was adjusting the dial of how hot the water could get, and I just touched the wrong thing. The nastiest shock. Look at the nastiest shock. And when I came to, I had an epiphany. Epiphery?
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Said I need to hire someone to do this instead.
Miles
Yeah, they're. They're. You know, they're. I. I told you about the extension cord when I was a kid, splicing it and out of the wall. And I've electrocuted myself a couple times since. I did avoid a massive electrocution, though. I was fixing this washing machine, or, sorry, dishwasher, and it had all the water coming up, so I was clearing it out on the bottom, and then I was like, oh, this is still. It still had water coming out. It's like, this is a deeper issue. So I pull it out, you know, and then I get underneath and I'm messing with the live wires. And keep in mind, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just trying to see if something's not, like, hooked up or whatever. And then I. Of a sudden, I was like, wet hands, live electricity. This is stupid. So then I went down and I shut it off. But I. I could almost kill myself on that one.
Charlie Barrons
I watched my dad almost die.
Miles
Really? How'd he almost do it?
Charlie Barrons
So at their lake cabin, they were getting rid of a baseboard heater.
Miles
Oh.
Charlie Barrons
Hooked up to electricity.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
He had thought that the electrician came in and made sure it wasn't live. Well, he found out the hard way it was live. Sparks flew.
Miles
Oh.
Charlie Barrons
Emotions ran high.
Miles
Oh, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And we all were kind of like standing there and obviously he was pretty. He was pretty stoic. Frazzled.
Miles
Oh, he was frazzled.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. He just got what's happening. And we look at the Cuz he was going to cut the wire so we could take it off the wall.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And there was a little like indent, perfect little semicircle of where he tried to cut the wire and melted the metal that he was.
Miles
Oh, my God.
Charlie Barrons
So.
Miles
If you are standing on the ground, you are the ground.
Charlie Barrons
So I could have had a more baggage not growing up without a dad, you know?
Miles
Wow.
Charlie Barrons
Even more than I already got.
Miles
Well, we're just happy Bud's okay.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
So it's a lesson for all you guys out there.
Miles
Y.
Charlie Barrons
If you're gonna.
Miles
You're gonna di DIY E L E C T R I C T Y YouTube it twice. Yeah, YouTube it twice, cut once.
Charlie Barrons
Do something to make sure that the wire is not live.
Miles
Yeah. Turn. Turn your power off.
Charlie Barrons
Charlie. Should we take another caller?
Miles
Let's do it. Amanda's on the phone. She's coming to us from Arizona and she says her. Her Arizona deal is flooded with Midwesterners. And Amanda is it right? You want to know what that is all about? Huh?
Willie
Yeah, I'm curious. We've got culverts everywhere. We've got tortillo's everywhere. What is it about Phoenix that draws everybody here aside from the absence of.
Miles
Well, it's not just that. It's arthritis. Okay. You know, we are so true.
Charlie Barrons
My dad's like, when I'm down there, man, my joints are feeling good.
Miles
There's just something about that heat that loosens up the old hammer toe. And you're just. You're like, I can walk here and not take ibuprofen. So what we're really doing is saving money on ibuprofen.
Charlie Barrons
Like, my Paul Bunyans feel great.
Miles
Yeah. My Paul Bunions. Yup. It really is a health issue for a lot of us. And also, if you look in. In the Midwest, you look at heart attack rates, they spike in the winter. Something about shoveling your car out of the snow isn't good on the old ticker. After you get past 65 so people like to, you know, they've, they paid their dues to the, they, they've sacrificed their, their sacrifices to the Midwest gods. And it's time to go enjoy some warmer weather.
Charlie Barrons
Well, and I think that if you're in the Midwest and you turn 55 years old, you're spending either your entire winter in Phoenix, Arizona, Scottsdale area, or you're going to somewhere in Florida.
Miles
Yep, it is Arizona or Florida. That's pretty much what we do. And we go with the. They call us snowbirds because it is a migratory pattern. You know, people, I can tell the.
Willie
Roads make that parent a very apparent.
Miles
And what's it like driving with all those Midwesterners down there?
Willie
I'm not entirely certain that I have the most solid footing to talk about that as I'm from the New York metro area originally.
Miles
So you didn't even drive until you got down there to Phoenix?
Willie
No, no, I've been, I've been driving quite a bit, my friend in Jersey, in Rhode island, in Northern California, around San Francisco area, out here in Phoenix. And I got to tell you that Phoenix is awful.
Charlie Barrons
How dare you put her in a box, Charlie.
Miles
She said she's from New York. New Yorkers don't drive.
Charlie Barrons
Dare you.
Miles
They have good.
Charlie Barrons
New Jersey.
Miles
Oh, New Jersey.
Charlie Barrons
How dare you that. How does that make you feel that Charlie just said that? Because you're from New Jersey, you're a New Yorker, how does that make you feel?
Willie
I feel like the most or the majority would consider that a compliment anytime I've mentioned like my husband loves to throw me under the bus for being from New Jersey. So yeah, it was bit of a compliment. You know, I guess I'll water off the duck's back.
Miles
Take that Miles. Why don't you try throwing me under the bus for something else?
Charlie Barrons
Charlie, how do you spot a Midwesterner in Phoenix, Arizona?
Miles
Well, you just look at the Culver's Drive thru.
Willie
Culver's Drive through that or any golf cart that's on the street.
Miles
Yeah.
Patty
To be honest.
Willie
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. My dad, he. He doesn't vacation. He vacations in Southern California. Not Arizona, Palm Springs. But he rented a place and it came with a golf court. And I tell you what, this is the giddiest I've ever seen my dad. Really, he loved that thing.
Miles
It's like UTV without the balls. It's a castrated utv. That's a golf cart.
Charlie Barrons
There's just something about, you know, in the Midwest we like, we like going, hey, Charlie, you want to go for A drive?
Miles
Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
Charlie Barrons
And then you just spend two hours driving around not saying anything. It's the equivalent down south. You just get in a golf cart, you drive around your little gated community and just look at stuff.
Miles
Are these Midwesterners like really clogging up the roads with the. With the golf carts or are they doing it in a respectful way? Way.
Willie
In Sun City for sure. There's signs specifically. So I mentioned earlier that I'm baking. I have a small French macaron bakery, which is exactly what I'm doing right now. And one of my farmers markets is out in Sun City. And I got to tell you guys, if I'm running late because child care doesn't show up in time. It's an exercise of patience for certain.
Charlie Barrons
So you're a professional baker?
Willie
Yes, sir.
Charlie Barrons
I knew you level. You have that kind of warmth.
Miles
She's doing it in the background right there. What are you chopping up there? Carrots for the carrot cake, huh?
Willie
No, I'm banging on the bottom of the sheet pan. So French macarons or macaroons, Air is the enemy in the recipe. So you gotta bang out all the air bubbles so they don't pop and crack in the oven.
Miles
Gotta bang out the air bubbles.
Charlie Barrons
Sounds like something else.
Miles
Yep, sounds like a euphemism. How are you?
Willie
Can you, you know, it could be.
Miles
Yeah. Are you gonna send us some bakery? That would be really nice.
Willie
If you guys have a P.O. box. I would love to. I have Italian grandmother syndrome.
Charlie Barrons
We don't know a P.O. box, but I can give you Charlie's home address. It is.
Miles
How about we don't get that beeper in here?
Charlie Barrons
What is. Obviously you live down there and you're clearly a little bit annoyed at all the Midwesterners coming down there. What is your biggest gripe to pick with the Midwesterners? Snowbirding in Arizona.
Willie
I don't mean to beat a dead horse here, but honestly, it's just the driving.
Patty
It's.
Willie
It's really just the driving. I love that everybody's so thoughtful and sweet and you can have a conversation with anybody. That is lovely to be fair, but just the driving in. I just the driving.
Miles
Well, we're waving at you, you know, so we're not impolite. We're just going five to 10 under the speed limit because, you know, we got nowhere to go.
Charlie Barrons
And honestly, where do you got to be other than the precious present? Living in the moment.
Miles
We're teaching you to slow down in this fast paced world.
Charlie Barrons
If you don't look around once in a while, you miss it.
Willie
I do appreciate the lesson, and there is something to be had in that wisdom, but, my friend, time is money.
Miles
Ah, there's the jersey coming out.
Charlie Barrons
Hey, get out of the way. Trying to get some macaroons, soldier.
Miles
You just scream that in this bar? And in my ear.
Willie
You also just quoted me verbatim.
Charlie Barrons
All right, well, as someone from New Jersey, what do you think us Midwesterners can work on?
Willie
On being a little more assertive.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Willie
A little. A little more aggressively assertive. There's a time and a place for politeness. Absolutely. But just a little bit of urgency in it. Just a little bit of urgency.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Willie
That's the only thing I gotta harp on.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Little knees to chest. Get her moving, keep her moving.
Miles
As he all comes full circle.
Charlie Barrons
Well, Charlie, let's try it here. Here.
Miles
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
All right.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
So I own a bakery.
Miles
Hey, Miles, how's it going?
Charlie Barrons
You're here to buy some macaroons from me.
Miles
How are you?
Charlie Barrons
Hey, what can I get you?
Miles
Ah, man, you got. Oh, it smells good here, D. Yep, yep.
Charlie Barrons
We got macaroons. So what can I get you? We got a long line here.
Miles
Good Lord. How much are they now?
Charlie Barrons
450 per macaroon. That's for two. Two.
Miles
Oh, so really, two of them? 220.
Charlie Barrons
How many you want? Two. Three. Two, three. Two. Four.
Miles
How many you think I should get?
Charlie Barrons
Well, I would recommend four.
Miles
All right, I'll do two. Trees.
Charlie Barrons
$9.
Miles
Okay. All right, hang on.
Charlie Barrons
Flavor? You want chocolate?
Miles
You got that?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, we got chocolate. What else?
Miles
Peanut butter.
Charlie Barrons
Peanut butter. Done.
Miles
You got brandy? Old fashioned One.
Charlie Barrons
I don't even know what that is.
Miles
All right, right.
Charlie Barrons
Sir, really, please, just make a decision.
Miles
Hang on. I left my wallet in the golf cart. I'll be right back. Hey, how are you doing, Tony? Hey, I saw you the other week over at the filling station, right?
Charlie Barrons
Sir, honestly, you can just have these macaroons for free if you just keep.
Miles
Are you kidding me? Sure. That's. Hey, I got a two for you guys. Want to try one?
Charlie Barrons
No, they're paying customers. Don't give away the free ones.
Miles
All right, well. Well, I'm going to go drive four miles an hour home. I'll see you later.
Charlie Barrons
What should he have done differently?
Willie
Kim or you?
Charlie Barrons
Hey, this is not about me.
Miles
You're a bad New Jersey.
Charlie Barrons
I was the straight man.
Miles
You're a bad New Jersey.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, well, what should I have done differently? Was I still too nice to him?
Willie
Am I permitted to use some choice language.
Charlie Barrons
Sure, 100% said.
Willie
Jesus Christ. What is it that I can get for you? Come on.
Miles
No, you can't be taking the Lord's name in vain like that. First of all, his middle name was James. Second of all, I'll see you in church. All right? I'm going to light a candle for you right there. Okay.
Willie
Believe it or not, I was raised Irish Catholic. So both my grandmother and my grandfather just rolled over in their graves.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. All jeepers, I tell you what, Catholic. Peace be with you.
Miles
Yeah. And I will raise you up on eagle's wings, hail to the sun and.
Charlie Barrons
Hold you in the palm of his hand.
Miles
You weren't gonna join in with us?
Willie
No. You know.
Miles
No.
Willie
No notes. No notes, gentlemen.
Miles
Okay, dance then. Wherever is he? I am the Lord of the dance.
Charlie Barrons
And the dance.
Miles
Well, we gotta go to church. Clearly, we haven't been there in a while.
Charlie Barrons
That's what all the. That's what all Catholics do anyways. They don't actually sing. They just mumble and move their mouths. That's what my dad does.
Miles
Yeah, that's true. True mumble.
Willie
Move your mouth. Put the dollar bill in the basket. Take communion.
Miles
Go home. Don't miss that. Don't miss that.
Charlie Barrons
In and out, in and out. Shake a few hands. Peace be with you. And also with you.
Miles
Well, Amanda, all I have to say to you.
Charlie Barrons
Amanda, we. We like to ask our Catholic listeners, are you a. How do you like to receive communion? I was gonna ask her if she was a tongue gal or a hand gal, and I figured that was. That was gonna end badly. How do you like to receive your body of Christ?
Willie
I feel like after the pandemic, it's only hands. Yeah, but you know, it's.
Patty
It used to be mouth.
Miles
Okay. Oh, you were a mouth gal.
Charlie Barrons
Wow, you really are Irish Catholic, aren't you? Holy smokes.
Miles
Very pretentious.
Charlie Barrons
They've done that since the 70s.
Willie
Pretentious? How was that pretentious?
Miles
What? Because you're, you know. I know some people that are mouth people and they're a little better than you. That's. That's what they're saying.
Willie
Because of blind faith.
Patty
I'm still confused.
Charlie Barrons
Amanda, if you don't ask. Mind me asking, and trust me, there's a follow up question. When was the last time you were at church?
Willie
Oh, God. Actually, to be fair. To be fair. No pun intended. I guess with that. Last October for a Catholic wedding.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so it had been a minute. Do you remember when they changed the whole routine of the they just decided that we were going to do church a different way. Do you remember that church, Charlie? It was like all the responses were different, and people were getting it half wrong the whole time, and it was a mess.
Miles
Yeah, it was like five, 10 years ago. And you can always tell the Chris the creasers because they still screw it up.
Charlie Barrons
Get those air bubbles out.
Miles
Well, well, Amanda, good luck with that. Okay. And we. We hope that the Midwesterners get. Get the message here. We hope they hear this and they pick up the pace a little down there in Arizona. Or maybe you slow down and enjoy life a little more. One of the two.
Willie
Yeah, that's a solid piece of advice. If I may, before we go, I do have two dear friends out here that are both from the Midwest, one from Chicago. I know how you guys feel about that, but her husband is from Minnesota, and they're two of the greatest people that I've ever known. We went through pregnancy together. Our babies are two months apart. We're. We vacation together all the time. They're just salt of the earth human beings. So if they're representative of. Of your. Where you hail from, then y'all are good people.
Miles
Wow, that's.
Charlie Barrons
What's their names? Can we give them a shout out?
Willie
Sure. Melissa and Sean. Though Melissa, in our text message earlier this morning, when I told them that I was doing this, she did want me to say, go squares.
Charlie Barrons
Oh.
Miles
Oh, my God.
Charlie Barrons
My God.
Miles
Amanda, it was nice talking to you, but your fib friends are not indicative of the Midwest, unfortunately, so makes sense you'd find a fib out there or two. And.
Charlie Barrons
And when the. When the folks are down in Arizona, where can they find your macaroons?
Willie
I deliver two homes. I'm at different farmers markets, and I also ship across the country. So Amanda's Max is my business. Business.
Miles
Amanda, Max.
Willie
We love. We love alliteration.
Miles
I love it. Well, good stuff. Well, congrats on your baby. Congrats on your macaroons. And tell your fib friends we say hi.
Willie
Thanks, gentlemen. I appreciate the time. Merry Christmas.
Miles
Merry Christmas.
Charlie Barrons
Merry Chrysler.
Miles
Well, Miles, I gotta tell you, she's a feisty one. She is a feisty one. Yeah. And, you know, I mean, look, we're on vacation. That's what you got to remember about Midwesterners when we're invading your chose to.
Charlie Barrons
Live in a phenomenal part of the country. It doesn't entitle you to making us speed up.
Miles
Yeah, yeah. You might be living your daily life, but we are either retired or on vacation, so we're going the pace that we go, and that's. There's no bottom rungs about it.
Charlie Barrons
Guys, we have Patrick from Alabama on the line. He is a structural engineer, and he says that he wants to go to toe with me.
Miles
Wow.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. I don't know what. I don't know what he wants, but, Patrick, let's do it. Let's go toe to toe. What do you.
Justin
I mean, I just heard you complain about engineers when you. You know, and your time as a concrete worker and always giving engineers about a hard time. So I figured somebody's gotta stand up for the engineers every now and then.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
I knew this was gonna happen, Miles. You couldn't leave the engineers alone, and this is the repercussions you get. All right, you guys go toe, pecker to pecker. Let's see what we got.
Charlie Barrons
Maybe for Patrick, but not me. It's more like belly to belly.
Miles
Yeah, that's a closer fight.
Justin
How about arm and arm?
Miles
Yeah, arm and arm. All right, well, that's a whole other thing. Well, what? State your piece, Patrick.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, so what? What did I say that really rubbed you the wrong way?
Willie
What?
Justin
I mean, I run into it every day at work, man. You. It's not concrete guys anymore. It used to be, but now it's welders and fabricators now. Everything's always blamed on the engineer, as if we had the final say. So when in all reality. I think the problem that we have when engineers and concrete workers and these guys don't get along is we get distracted by who the real common enemy is.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Justin
And that is the client.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. Yeah. You know what? I'll agree with that one.
Miles
Client is always wrong. In other words, the client is always.
Charlie Barrons
A pain in the ass.
Justin
Always. Whether it's the Navy on a ship that you're building or somebody's concrete driveway, and they want it, you know, six inches wider at this one spot after it's already been formed up and poured.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And I think, for me, Charlie.
Justin
So why is it that engineers get blamed for everything, Miles?
Charlie Barrons
It's because you guys are the rule followers. You guys are the nerds. You're the one saying, we can't do it like this because the building will fall down. You know, it's like. What do you mean? We've done it the other way a hundred times in a row, and the building's still standing.
Miles
Yeah.
Justin
But everything's always okay until it's not. And that's what we're doing. We're trying to avoid those bad situations.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. I. I mean, really, I. I think the bone I have to pick is when there is a classic over engineering going on. Would you agree that some people over engineer things every day, man?
Justin
That's part of the job.
Miles
Well, give us an example, Miles of something. When is an engineer hurt you? When has it been over engineered?
Charlie Barrons
Pocketbook.
Miles
Pocketbook. Oh, it's a little spend.
Charlie Barrons
The more time they end up engineering something. Not only you got to pay them for more time, you then got to pay for more material. You got to do all of this extra stuff that ends up costing the client money, ends up costing each everyone more money.
Justin
Well, yeah, but doesn't the con. Don't y'all end up making more money? That's extra overtime for you guys.
Miles
Thank you. I was just gonna say people.
Charlie Barrons
Well, I also have another one. A little zinger for you. It'll say you're the concrete guy. You build it too good, you're not gonna have any repeat customers.
Miles
Ah, planned obsolescence.
Charlie Barrons
Like the iPhone. It's like the iPhone's intentionally making your battery go to.
Miles
That's why every new building looks like a freaking Ikea.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, concrete businesses are built on upcharging for having to come fix things. How is anyone supposed to make a living if you guys are engineering stuff to a T?
Miles
Stop doing your job so good is what he said.
Justin
All right, I'll. I'll make. I'll make sure our building start falling down so you guys can, you know, have a little.
Charlie Barrons
No, we did not say that. We did not say that.
Miles
I mean, we did.
Charlie Barrons
We just want you to make sure that it just has enough structural integrity to not fall down. Not in the worst case scenario.
Miles
Patrick, I gotta tell you, from an argument standpoint, you're winning right now.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, yeah?
Miles
Yep. In the debate. Yep. He's currently winning. You're gonna have to buckle up. Miles, you're gonna have to give him a little bit more because he just said said that also. Who says pocketbook these days? You know, in my pocketbook. Do you still balance a checkbook, Miles? Yeah. You kind of look like you do.
Charlie Barrons
No. God, I need to. I had a checkbook in high school, though. Did you checkbook in high school?
Miles
I did. Patrick, do you have a checkbook?
Justin
I did. Man. I thought you had to pay rent back in the day. You couldn't do cash or credit card.
Charlie Barrons
No.
Justin
Had to be a check.
Miles
God. Nice accent, by the way. Where are you calling him from again.
Justin
Man, I'm from Mobile, Alabama.
Miles
Mobile, Alabama.
Charlie Barrons
We got a southerner on the Phone, Charlie.
Miles
I was just in Birmingham, or as you guys call it, Birmingham. And that was interesting. It was nice being down in Alabama. Do you guys have a buc EE's around there?
Justin
Yeah, there's one just down the road from me right now.
Miles
Oh, my gosh. I gotta tell you, I got a bone to pick with that frigging Buc EE's. Okay. I'm a quick trip guy through and through. And going to that BUC EE's, that was like a quick trip. Made love to a Walmart while that dumb stuff beaver cocked, you know?
Justin
I'll tell you what's distracting is that giant wall of jerky they got over there, man.
Charlie Barrons
No, they have a giant wall of jerky.
Miles
They do.
Charlie Barrons
That's got to cost more than the whole building itself.
Miles
I mean, it's. It's some spendy jerky. I will say I wasn't. You're impressed by some things when you walk in, but you start getting close to it and you peel the facade off and it's not as good as it looks. Okay. Okay. Are you.
Justin
Now, Bucky's is a. Bucky's is a Texas thing. You're going to have to get you a Texas fellow on here to talk about that.
Miles
Okay. So you're not. They just.
Justin
They're just jumping over state lines and, you know, coming on over here.
Miles
They're spreading like the oral herp. They are. They got one that they were saying might come up in Wisconsin and, you know, there's a flare up every nine months. Not that I know anything about that. And I got like a good time to do.
Justin
Sounds like a good comparison video coming up.
Miles
Yep, exactly. That would be good. A comparison video of Quick Trip versus. But, you know.
Charlie Barrons
Well, let's hear what.
Miles
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
What. What's better, Charlie? Bucky's or Quick.
Miles
Quick Trip is better than BUC EE's. Okay. BUC EE's. If it was so good, did they need to put up a billboard like 7,000 miles away from the nearest buc ee saying, nearest Buc Ees 7,000 miles away? It's just. It's attack marketing is what it is. And. And nothing that's really good needs a mascot there. Do the Green Bay packers have a mascot? No. Okay. You only need a mascot if your team sucks. Unless you're the Badgers.
Charlie Barrons
Well, that's a good question. Is Bucky Woodchuck or what is Bucky.
Miles
Bucky's a beaver. I think he's a beaver. Yeah. Yeah. Bucky the beaver.
Charlie Barrons
So why is the Badgers got Bucky.
Miles
There's Bucky the badger. And. And they also ripped off the name Bucky, you know, from us. You know, you can't be ripping off a mascot. And again, you know, badgers got grandfathered into the mascot thing. And, like, the bottom line here, the box, the. The box, of course, also grandfathered in. Same with the Brewers. But, you know, you don't need it for a frigging gas station, all right? And then you go into that place, they've, like, socially engineered a gas station. It' I feel like a cattle in there. You know, I feel like I'm in a herd of cattle. You know, the way they shovel people around and the way you move. Like, they took, like, all these videos and they had surveillance, trying to find the easiest flow for people to get in and get out. I mean, it's too perfect. You know, there's something deeper there. You know, they're looking at something there you do, you know, and it's destroying the fabric of American society. That's what's. That's what's happening.
Justin
Miles, I think Charlie is just projecting a little bit because I think he really wants to be the official mascot of Wisconsin. Oh, projecting that. Bucky's has their own mascot. If he's thinking, well, if this gas station is good enough for a mascot, you know, Charlie's, you know, Wisconsin's number one fan.
Charlie Barrons
If Charlie was the mascot for Wisconsin, he wouldn't be able to walk into any bar because his head wouldn't fit through the door.
Justin
Cheese wedge would be a little too big.
Miles
That would actually be good. A Wisconsin mascot. Big old cheese.
Charlie Barrons
It's not going to happen. I won't let it happen. I'll do a smear campaign against it.
Miles
Patrick, you don't even like BUC EE's. Why. Why did it turn out you were calling in to give Miles crap? Now you're giving me crap. You're supposed to be on my side. I thought this was a safe space.
Justin
Hey, this is part of being an engineer. You have to walk that middle line of keeping the client happy and keeping the construction crew happy.
Charlie Barrons
That is true. You did a good job there. Because at first I was ready to arm wrestle you, and now I'm, like, thinking you're a great guy, so. Hey, you are good. You are good.
Justin
I appreciate that.
Miles
What do you mean?
Justin
Also, I had another thing to bring up.
Miles
Yeah. You got a Navy ship you want, buy, sell, or trade, man, I don't.
Justin
Think we can swing that right now. There's a lot of contracts And a lot of legal jargon about this.
Charlie Barrons
Not.
Justin
It's about my pay grade.
Miles
All right?
Justin
But the Midwest nice versus Southern hospitality. Okay, what's the defining line? Like, I hear you guys talk about the Midwest. The Midwest nice. And I'm from the south, and I've lived this Southern hospitality. So where's the difference? I think the Midwest and the south are pretty much one in the same.
Miles
Let me just say this. We're not one the same. There might be similarities, but the whole Southern hospitality, it doesn't hold a can. Handle to the Midwest nice. All right?
Charlie Barrons
Exactly. Yeah. Like, yeah, yeah. Hey, it's pretty easy to have nice hospitality, Charlie, when It's sunny in 75 every day.
Miles
Yeah. Have you guys ever erected the windshield wipers before a sweet snort storm of your loved ones or just kind of liked ones in the neighborhood? I think.
Charlie Barrons
Have you ever been on your way to work, saw someone in the ditch and derailed your whole day to help pull him out? No, I don't think so.
Miles
I don't think so. Have you ever been sitting in an ice shanny? Okay, And. And your buddy is outside, and he goes, flag. And I'm like, miles, don't call me that. And then I. I run out and I go, oh, my gosh. I got a northern on. And. And Miles told me that my fish was biting the hook. He. He could have gone taken that fish. But no, he alerted me, you know? Have you guys ever done any of that?
Charlie Barrons
Ever done any of that in the South?
Justin
Absolutely.
Miles
Really?
Charlie Barrons
You've shoveled your neighbor's driveway before, so hear me out.
Justin
It's the same coin. It's just different sides. Y'all have these winners that are just so terrible and brutal, you don't even want to step outside because the air hurts your face. Our summers are so hot. When you walk outside in the morning, you can hear the sun. You can hear the sun cooking you alive.
Miles
So what do you do then?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, so what do you do in that blistering heat that equals our Midwest nice.
Justin
It's the op. It's the opposite of the same coin. Y'all bundle up. We shredded, we take off layers.
Miles
That's not what you're taking off other people's clothes. This sounds honestly very Southern.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. I'm gonna be honest, Charlie. I think I kind of like Southern hospitality now.
Miles
Well, Miles, you guys down there?
Justin
What's that?
Miles
Miles? No.
Charlie Barrons
Nothing.
Miles
Well, what do you guys do in the heat? What do you do in the heat to help other people?
Justin
Offer them a cold glass of sweet Tea bud.
Miles
All right, that's a start.
Charlie Barrons
What else?
Justin
You know, invite them inside, send them down, offer them some lunch, give them a good sandwich, ask them how their folks are doing.
Miles
Okay, okay.
Justin
What do y'all do when it's super cold outside and see somebody shivering and.
Miles
Well, I mean, we give them our coat.
Charlie Barrons
You give them. Yeah, yeah. Maybe give them a shot of brandy, Charlie.
Miles
Yeah, that's the internal sweater.
Charlie Barrons
But here's the thing, Hospitality, every hospitality.
Justin
Has to go a step above. Because we can't give a coat to somebody in the summer, we have to bring them into our home, bring them into the luscious air conditioning that we're paying for.
Charlie Barrons
Well, it turns out, Charlie, that everything they do for Southern hospitality, we also do do up north.
Miles
Yeah. It gets swampy up here in the summers.
Charlie Barrons
We got some ice cold beers instead of sweet tea up here that we offer people. We, you know, welcome them into our home and say, hey, a walleye biting out there? Or no.
Miles
Yeah. And we say, it's not the heat, it's the humidity. You know, we say, yeah, it's hot enough out there for your, you know, balls to stick.
Charlie Barrons
So, I mean, what I'm trying to say, Charlie, is we do all the stuff that they do, but I've never heard of someone in Mobile, Alabama, shoveling their neighbor's driveway.
Miles
Have you ever shoveled anyone's driveway?
Justin
No, not. Never one.
Miles
Well, so, yes, there is Southern hospitality, but I think Midwest, nice. Beats it out. And also, I'm on to you, Patrick. I know when you say, bless your heart, you're really telling me to go F myself.
Justin
I would never say that to you, Charlie.
Miles
You wouldn't. You would say, bless your heart.
Justin
And no, I just say, oh, he sure is.
Miles
He.
Justin
You know, I'm sure his mama loves him.
Charlie Barrons
Charlie, you're a guy only a mom could love.
Miles
I got that. I got that. Patrick, what are you building over there on the. On the. In this. In the stockyard? What are you in. You're in the shipyard. What are you. What are you. Yeah, what are you building over there?
Justin
We're building a couple Navy vessels, a Coast Guard vessel and a big dry dock right now.
Miles
Oh, nice. How's the Navy looking these days? We going to beat China or what's going on?
Justin
Right now they're looking haze gray. That's what we paint everything, haze gray.
Miles
Okay. Because that when you get out on the sea, you know, it's largely hazy gray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we know what the weather's like and the, you know, South China Sea. Taezy Grass.
Justin
That's right.
Miles
Yeah, that's it. South China.
Justin
I got one more, Miles. I got one more bone to pick with you, buddy. I'm sorry.
Miles
I like it.
Charlie Barrons
It's all right.
Justin
I think there's a little bit of a conspiracy on our hands that needs to be addressed. You see a lot of my favorite content of yours, Miles, has always been the Yeti comparison.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Justin
And I've noticed lately I haven't seen any more yeti comparisons coming out make. Begs the question, has Miles been bought out by big yeti?
Charlie Barrons
I would. I would love to be bought out by big Yeti. You know, the paycheck that could come with that. Have you seen what that company is worth? They're worth a billion dollars.
Miles
Well, I bet they're a billion dollars because they sell a coffee cup.
Charlie Barrons
If I was bought out by yeti, I definitely wouldn't be sitting at this bar with Charlie.
Miles
What? I thought we're here because we're friends.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah.
Miles
Oh, my gosh.
Charlie Barrons
We would be in the Caribbean at a bar doing this.
Miles
Ah. Begs the question, where have the Yeti comparison videos gone?
Charlie Barrons
Well, one, we've done a lot of products and I don't want to just. I don't want to just pick something on their website and make fun of it. You know, that's what the. That's the low hanging fruit. That's what someone who is an amateur would do. I got to make sure that I'm waiting for the fresh new stuff. Stuff that is so absurd that it basically writes itself.
Miles
So.
Justin
Sounds like he's waiting on that next Yeti care package to show up to his front door so he can have a review of it.
Charlie Barrons
I would love that. You could sling that stuff on Facebook. Marketplace. Marketplace for a pretty penny.
Miles
Patrick, you seen any product you want Miles to do a review of?
Justin
Hey, what? That YETI backpack? A little bit. A little bit out there.
Charlie Barrons
How much is it?
Justin
More than I can afford.
Charlie Barrons
Probably $600. For a backpack?
Miles
Backpack?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
I mean, you gotta hand it to them. They're like, there's a bunch of rich people out there with that. Like dog bowls, white coolers for white collars.
Justin
You said that should be their catchphrase.
Charlie Barrons
No, we. It's also one of those things I've been doing yeti videos now for like, at least four years that now it's to the point where I want it to be a little bit of a sweet treat when we do it.
Miles
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
You know?
Patty
Yeah.
Miles
Oh, here's the Yeti bag.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, it's on sale, Charlie, for only $184.
Miles
Dear God. What the hell?
Justin
At that price, you lose money.
Miles
Not buying.
Charlie Barrons
I know. You can't pass up on those kinds of savings.
Miles
Clearly, it's not selling very well.
Charlie Barrons
It's action packed. Tough enough to get dirty. Smartly designed to sort your essentials.
Miles
Wait, it says tough enough to get dirty?
Charlie Barrons
Honestly? Yeah. Oh, you can get the 35 liter. You know, I usually measure my backpacks in liters.
Miles
I don't even know how big that.
Charlie Barrons
The 35L backpacks on sale for 200 bucks.
Miles
Are they selling these to Europeans leaders?
Charlie Barrons
Okay, this one's waterproof. It's blaze orange.
Miles
I like the blaze orange. That's.
Justin
It's water Blaz orange would be nice. I come in handy.
Miles
Dude, that's $300. Are you freaking?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, but it holds 28 liters of stuff, so. Yeah. God, if, you know.
Justin
Million liters. In a case of beer, though.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, God. Okay.
Miles
Carry minus the two divided by four.
Charlie Barrons
Four liters. I don't know.
Miles
Let's Google it.
Charlie Barrons
We're in America. All right.
Justin
Yeah, we use Freedom Units over here.
Miles
Thank you.
Charlie Barrons
Thank you.
Miles
How many things are measured by liters on that chip you're designing?
Justin
Exactly. Zero liters worth.
Miles
Zero liters worth. See that? See that?
Charlie Barrons
I mean, that's got to be a weird thing. Don't. Do engineers use the metric system system, or do they. They still using the American Freedom system?
Justin
It depends on the project. Which is weird. You would think all one Navy would use the same thing from boat to boat, but different boats use meters, different boats use Freedom Units.
Miles
Different boats.
Charlie Barrons
That's why engineers cost so much. They're spending their whole time converting different metrics.
Miles
See? Oh, terrible again, Miles. It's not the engineer, it's the client.
Charlie Barrons
That's true.
Miles
Yeah.
Justin
Bring it all back, Charlie. That's what I'm talking about.
Miles
Yeah. I got your back, Patrick. I got your back.
Justin
I appreciate it.
Miles
Well, thanks for calling in, man. This has been really insightful. This really has been insightful. Miles, any final questions here?
Charlie Barrons
If you know anyone. If you know anyone who works at YETI that wants to send me a care package, I need to sling that on Facebook Marketplace because I got a kid now, so I got to pay for stuff.
Miles
Oh, yeah. So send Miles a free backpack. He'll sell it first.
Charlie Barrons
I'll do a video first. I'll do it, and then I'll sell it.
Miles
Then it'll be on Facebook Marketplace for a whopping $200 for a 30 liter backpack.
Justin
We'll know when Miles gets that Yeti gig because he'll have a Yeti wallet. Finally.
Charlie Barrons
Yes, a hundred percent. You know, I'll start wearing like gold chains and stuff, you know, 200 bill fold. I'll show up in a black Suburban. That's. The windows are all tinted. That's when you'll. No, I. I took the bag from Yeti.
Miles
Yeah, yeah. I didn't know they had a $200 wallet. Good God. Have you done that video? No, no, you gotta get back.
Justin
That was just my idea.
Miles
See, Patrick, I think now if you do this video, Miles gotta send you a little check.
Charlie Barrons
Actually, the.
Miles
I was.
Charlie Barrons
I was the.
Justin
I mean, I was gonna ask for some royalties, you know, giving them all these good content ideas.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, you know, this actually comes full circle, Charlie. Why Charlie are. Yeti's whole motto is over engineering something. And so honestly, this sounds like the perfect marriage for you. Patrick, I think if this whole job you got now don't work out, go work at yeti. They're gonna love you.
Justin
Well, yeti, if you're listening, you know, Miles will give me my phone number.
Miles
They gotta go through Miles to get to Patrick. Well, Patrick, than for calling in my guy.
Justin
Absolutely. Fellas, it was a blast.
Miles
All right, we'll talk to you soon. Good luck on the ship.
Justin
Appreciate it.
Miles
Bye bye now.
Charlie Barrons
I actually am a little disappointed, Charlie, that I've never gotten one contact from YETI ever.
Miles
That well you spend. You built your career trashing them. Why do you think they're gonna call you?
Charlie Barrons
I don't know. You know, I mean, the Vikings fans spend their whole life trashing their own team. But you know, that's true. Appreciate the fans.
Miles
That's true. So are you low key, a Yeti fan? Do you own any Yeti stuff?
Charlie Barrons
Well, so here's what I do own YETI stuff, but it's all the stuff that I bought for a video.
Miles
Oh.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, it's like you have the receipt and then it just never gets returned.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
But then it actually has come in handy because we've used it for future videos.
Miles
Oh, okay. But you've never actually used the Yeti stuff.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, I have buddies that have Yetis.
Miles
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
But yeah, I actually don't own a Yeti cooler.
Miles
I own. I own a bunch of the Yeti cups because people send them to you for promo.
Charlie Barrons
You got as a gift.
Miles
I got his gift.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, no, I have a lunchbox. I have a bottle opener, a ice bucket. So if you want to do the ice bucket challenge. At any point, let me know. I got one.
Miles
Mouse. You ever get out there with your UTV and roll it and pretend like you meant to?
Charlie Barrons
I, yeah, I've done, I've done that.
Miles
Done that. Like, oh yeah, the struts weren't good on that thing, you know, and there's not even really struts to be spoken of anymore, you know, and there you are, you know, just sitting there looking at the thing and you're like, shoot, I'm injured emotionally and also physically. And maybe you can sue the hell out of the ATV company. You never know. Maybe it was a user error. Either way, you know, you don't just take that lion down, you know, you call Nicolet, right?
Charlie Barrons
You first peel the ATV off of.
Miles
You peel it off and you say shoot. And you make sure you get checked out because if you roll an ATV tv, first of all, dry them safely. But if you roll it well then you, you never know what could be happening. You could have be bleeding from the inside. So you got to go to the hospital. That's going to cost money. Are you going to pay for that? I don't know. I think someone else should. Miles.
Charlie Barrons
Right, so what should they do?
Miles
Call Nicolay. Call Nicolay, Call Nicolet Law, ladies and gentlemen, 1, 881-858-1855. Nicolae. Hi, this is Nick. Nick, how you doing my guy? What's on your mind? What's your rant? Let us hear it. I didn't think I was gonna get through. This is awesome. So it's like I got this girlfriend, right? And for some reason she likes to facetime me like every minute possible. And it's just like I don't wanna, I don't listen to like your, your dunking order that got messed up.
Justin
I don't care about that.
Willie
You know what I mean?
Charlie Barrons
I think that you are every man with a significant other. That's a rant I think we all have.
Miles
I will say the technology, man, it's a different level. It used to be a phone call, text, you know, kind of got a break from the phone call for a while. But then the FaceTime, if she's FaceTiming you that much, I don't think she trusts you a whole lot personally. Personally. But that's a whole other situation.
Charlie Barrons
Well, no, because my wife does the same thing. She'll just text me, she doesn't FaceTime me. Thank God. Condolences to Nick here. But she'll just text me, be like, I had a, I had a bagel for breakfast.
Miles
Really?
Charlie Barrons
And then she'll be like, oh, you know, I'm watching tv or I ran an errand to the gas station station. And that's just boom, boom, boom. And I don't even have to respond. They just keep coming in.
Miles
Oh, so she's one of them one line texters.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, yeah.
Miles
There are people who texting like just one lines and then people who like do a whole paragraph, you know, and.
Charlie Barrons
Nick, what's so wrong with her facetiming you every other minute?
Miles
It's like on my commute to work, I drive far from work. It's about like an hour, you know, so it's like when I, I'm exhausted, I'm working outside all day and I get in the car, I just want to listen to my podcast.
Willie
Listen to my.
Miles
No, she's like, as soon as she knows I'm in the car, bang, I got a call.
Justin
And it's like I'm just sitting there.
Miles
And it just makes me more tired. I'm not driving back.
Justin
Like I'm sitting in traffic.
Miles
That's making me tired. Now I'm listening to her and it's like, well, now I'm about to fall asleep and what? You know, it's like that, that's where it's like too much. I think we've uncovered maybe the deeper issue issue here. My guy. I think you might be in the wrong relationship. What do you think about, about that? I thought about it.
Charlie Barrons
It's like, he's like, honestly, I would ask you to marry me, but you just call me way too much and it makes me want to gouge my eyes out.
Miles
If your girlfriend is constantly, man, I'm definitely waiting. You're definitely. Well, if she's constantly putting you, putting your life in danger by putting you asleep while driving, I feel like, you know, you could just not answer. What would happen if you just didn't answer? Yeah, well, then she text me and then like, I'd rather, you know, call than text about. I don't like being on my phone, but sometimes I'll be like, hey, like, my mom's calling me real quick, can I call you back? And I hang up, listen to like songs for like about 10, 15 minutes and then like muster up enough energy, energy to call her back and then.
Charlie Barrons
I'll call her back. He's, he's like having to do. He's like listening to like motivational speeches just to stay awake and like work up the courage to call her back. You're like, you got this.
Miles
Did she when she calls, like, does she ever say anything of interest to you?
Charlie Barrons
No. Never?
Miles
Not one thing? No.
Charlie Barrons
So give us, like, a list of, like, what are the. What are the main five things she's calling you about? What is. What is she dumping on you at the end of your work day?
Miles
So I'd say the main thing is how, like, her day went. She's a teacher, so she'll say, oh, my God, you'll never believe, like, what happened in the classroom. This. This kid did this, and I said this, and then he laughed and I said, oh, okay. And it's like, oh, well, this teacher said this about me. Like, I'm so excited. I'm like, oh, good job. And she's like, yeah, but, like, blah, blah, blah. And then going to, like, gossip with it. I'm like, oh, okay. And then she'll say, like, how her Dunkin order messed up again. And then it's just like, the repetitive kind of thing, and it just puts me to sleep.
Charlie Barrons
Well, what you need to start doing, what you should start doing is just getting ahead of it. You answer a phone, you just go, wow, I can't believe that student did that today. I can't believe that teacher said that about you. God, Duncan sucks because they get your order wrong. All right, honey, well, see you when I get home. Bye. Just get ahead of everything.
Miles
Yeah. Can I tried it one time.
Charlie Barrons
And how did that go?
Willie
Go ahead.
Miles
It didn't go well. She thought that I wasn't listening to her or give her a chance to yap, and I just told her that I already know what you're gonna say. I was like, did I. Did I say everything you're gonna say? And she was like, yeah.
Willie
I was like, there you go.
Miles
I got ahead of it. I think there's really two issues here. There's one issue of FaceTiming when you don't want to be FaceTiming, but then also, I feel like you got some kinks to work out in this regard. Relationship. Are you guys good when you're in person or no? Well, yeah, when we're in person, we're good. We joke around together. We have a good time. And she's always on the tick tock thing. And it's like sometimes I just take her phone and shut it off on her. Other than that, yeah. Pretty good in person.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Other than stealing her property and making her do something else, things are going well in the relationship. Relationship.
Miles
I was on this. Have you ever been on a FaceTime call where she's, like, cooking or something? And she puts the phone down and the phone is just facing the ceiling. So you just talk into a ceiling for 10 minutes. That usually happens when she's in the bathroom. She doesn't cook, which. That's also another issue I gotta train.
Charlie Barrons
Her on, but trainer.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, my God.
Miles
I don't think that's how to cook.
Charlie Barrons
I don't think that's the right mentality.
Miles
Are you close to your girlfriend right now?
Charlie Barrons
No, no, no.
Willie
She.
Miles
I meant to get a haircut and she's off running errands. The way you said. No, no, no. Sounds like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's in the next room, but you don't want that to happen, so.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, here's a question.
Miles
In my truck, you.
Charlie Barrons
You called into our podcast today. You seem like you got a lot of energy going on. What's the difference between talking to us on the phone and talking to her on. On the phone?
Miles
You guys are more enjoyable to talk to. It's like I talk to her every day. I don't know. You guys are. This is my first time speaking with you guys. I don't know.
Charlie Barrons
Well, different then. Why don't every time you just imagine that you're talking to Charlie and I. Yeah.
Miles
Just don't carry that over to other aspects of your relationship.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
Otherwise.
Charlie Barrons
Otherwise you might not be able to perform, if you know what I mean. Or maybe you would perform better. I don't know. I don't want to judge.
Miles
I mean, I could try it out and let you guys know next time, but. Yeah, she just doesn't bring the same energy as you guys.
Charlie Barrons
She's more monotone.
Miles
Oh, so she. That's the deal.
Charlie Barrons
Hi. Yeah, work today was kind of crazy. I. This one kid, Billy. Dylan. Dylan threw spitballs at the wall again. It doesn't sound like that.
Miles
Exactly like that. What did you do?
Charlie Barrons
I don't know. I might be a little bit on your side because that was boring. I mean, I'm guessing the listeners that are listening, as they tuned out, they probably shut the podcast off when I started doing that.
Miles
Yeah. I'm trying to think of an actual solution to help you, you know, And I know you were just calling in to rant. Have you ever thought about breaking your forward facing camera on your phone? Just like a. A little like chisel and a hammer real quick and then you're done with FaceTime calls just like that.
Willie
That's just.
Miles
I thought you were going to go a different route and just break up with her.
Charlie Barrons
I thought you were too. I thought you were Gonna say break up with her.
Miles
I mean, you could do that, but, you know, if you're still gonna. Yeah, actually, that's a better idea right there. You save yourself the phone. That's perfect. Or you could. Break myself the phone to money. Yeah, I could break her phone. No, don't do that. That's not. Just break up with her.
Justin
I gotta pay for it.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
Yeah. I mean, do you think this relationship's gonna work? It's sounding like a disaster to me.
Patty
I don't know.
Miles
I mean, I guess we're still young to figure that out, you know, I'm 23, so I got. I'm not worried about it. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, well, yeah, smart.
Miles
Maybe you just find someone you want to face with and then start there.
Charlie Barrons
That's what life's about, Charlie. Find someone that you're happy to FaceTime with.
Miles
Exactly. Yeah, well, we. And want to listen to.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in my guy. Yeah. Well, thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. Yeah. And good luck with your gal. And thank you for sharing the rant.
Charlie Barrons
I get it. It's mine. I don't get FaceTime. But Ann will text me a lot during the day, and I'll be in meetings or shooting a video or something. And then I open my phone and I got 36 unread messages. And you think something's wrong, but no, it's just a journal, you know, it's just like. It's a ledger of what she did throughout the day. And if that makes her happy, that makes her happy. Charlie.
Miles
Does she get mad if you don't text her back?
Charlie Barrons
At first. But then she realized that this is my life now, so.
Miles
Yeah, you know what? That would have been good advice for that guy. He's setting the wrong precedent by opening up the FaceTime.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I should have just never answered.
Miles
Yeah, because then. Then she'll find out if she needs that FaceTime. You know, the truth will set you free, Maggie. Come on. Belly up to the bar. Water is warm and the beer is cold. What's on your mind?
Willie
Am I seriously on right now?
Miles
Oh, yeah, you're on. I'm Charlie.
Charlie Barrons
No, this is a recording.
Miles
Yeah, it's not.
Willie
That'd be funny if this was, like, someone answers. If someone answers first and then gives me a little, you know, hint that I'm going to be on or something.
Miles
Oh, we're not that buttoned up my question.
Willie
Okay.
Patty
Wow.
Willie
Okay, cool. This is more for Charlie. Sorry. Miles.
Miles
Sorry.
Charlie Barrons
That's all right. That's all right. These tend to usually be fun for me. So here we go.
Willie
Okay. Why do you have such a big chip on your shoulder about people from Illinois?
Miles
Oh, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Charlie.
Miles
Oh, my God.
Charlie Barrons
What's so wrong with people who live a little further south than you? Charlie? Charlie, what's so wrong with Illinois?
Miles
There is nothing wrong with Illinois. There's just something not quite right about it, okay? And I'll tell you what it is. It all stems Soldier Field, Chicago Bears, okay? And the audacity that Bears fans have to think that they're even at the same level as the Green Bay packers is something I just received, all right? And that's the beginning of it. The other thing is you guys come up to Wisconsin in your fib cars, all right? And you expect it that it's Chicago rules. You drive around Chicago, it's like a NASCAR race, okay? You come to Wisconsin, we go a little slower, we wave you past twice at the stop signs, you know? And it's not because we got nowhere to go. Oh, hang on, my mic is getting a little crazy. It's not because we got nowhere to go. It's just that we're not that interested in getting there that fast, you know? But you guys are pow, pow, pow all the time. And also prices in Door county have skyrocketed. I'm not going to say because of you, but you sure haven't helped that situation. Those are just three things that are kind of beefs that Wisconsin people have with Illinois. And there's more. But I will say that we love you a lot. We really do love you. We just sometimes don't like you. Like if the. You know, and that's it. And I think that's a healthy thing. We do love you. It's, you know, it's like. Let me ask you this. Do you guys have any beef with anyone from Wisconsin or do you just not think about us? I think that's really what it is, is that you guys just aren't thinking about. And that makes us even more angry, you know?
Willie
Yeah, I think you're right. Not really thinking about.
Miles
You see a break my heart like this, I'm gonna go home, cry about it, stuff the emotions down before I walk outside, and then scan come back in some unfounded hatred of Illinois. And that's where the chip come comes from. But it's, it's. It's meant when with love. So that's all I gotta say.
Willie
Okay, well, that's good.
Charlie Barrons
Well, I got my Question for you is, what is your gripes with Wisconsin?
Willie
I just don't understand. I just didn't understand why they didn't like us. I remember when I was younger, I had a friend and her cousin from Wisconsin would always come down and visit and call us bibs. And I just. I didn't understand why.
Charlie Barrons
Wow.
Willie
I'm outside of Chicago. I like a northwest suburb.
Charlie Barrons
So, yes, Charlie, you got to put yourself in their shoes. They're feeling like these are, like, unwarranted shots. They don't feel like they've done anything wrong.
Miles
That's because everyone comes up to Wisconsin. They go to Milwaukee, and they go, oh, this. This is almost as cool as Chicago, you know? Or they say like, oh, this is kind of like Chicago, but worse, you know? Or they go, at least there's plenty of parking here. We got more than parking in Wisconsin. All right? So we're sort of fighting back against that air of superiority that Illinois gives, you know?
Charlie Barrons
Well, and here's another question for you. As a fib. Fib. As a fibula. Yeah. Charlie's got a bone to pick with you Fibulas.
Miles
Oh, that's funny, Miles, because tibia is a bone.
Charlie Barrons
What is so wrong with just slowing down a little bit once you cross the border? What's so wrong with not cutting people off in traffic? What's so wrong with laying off the horn instead of laying on.
Miles
Thank you, Miles. Thank you.
Charlie Barrons
Why can't you guys. Guys just, you know, hey, show a little bit of respect in that sense.
Miles
Thank you. Yeah, Miles said it better than me.
Willie
I guess we're just angry about stuff.
Miles
What are you angry about? Let's unpack that.
Charlie Barrons
Let's do therapy with the whole state of Illinois here. What's wrong? Who hurt you?
Willie
This is kind of stupid.
Patty
Stupid, but I.
Willie
When I drop my kids off at school, there's like a line, you know, to drop the kids off. And they keep telling me that there's a sidewalk. Move up, move up, move up. And, you know, don't stop the car and let your kids out. Just get them out. And I don't know why, but infuriates me. And it's so stupid that people don't pull up and they get out of their car, they unbuckle their kids, they let them out of the car, you know, wave goodbye, you know, And I'm waiting between two cars, and I got to get out of there. I got to get to work. I don't have time for that.
Charlie Barrons
So that's the problem right there.
Willie
I honk it. Honking. Yell at them.
Charlie Barrons
You know, that's the problem.
Miles
But.
Charlie Barrons
But then when people from Illinois spend their whole life saying, I don't have time for this, and then they realize they didn't spend any time doing anything other than trying to get more. More time.
Miles
Wow, that's profound, Miles.
Willie
That's a really stupid reason to get mad about something.
Miles
It is.
Charlie Barrons
It is, isn't it? But it is stupid.
Miles
It wears on you. And then. And then you take out your. Your pain and your emotion on the. The poor people up north, you know, and you buy the land and you jack the prices up. God dang it. And then you're in. You know, you're in our slow lanes going 85. Well, if I just want to park here and enjoy the fall colors, darn it, that's my pride prerogative, you know? I mean, the oranges and. And the greens and the Taco Bell purple. The Taco Bell purples. I mean, you gotta sit back sometimes and just enjoy the colors because you really got nowhere to be. Life is not about the destination. It's about how slow you can get there. Okay? And that's what you get. So if waiting in that line is an issue. Your kids got bikes, right? Put them on those horses and send them to school. Or. Or get your. Get your doors, take off the child protective lock on them. Teach your kids how to tuck and roll.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Do a drive by.
Miles
Do a drive by. You know, exactly. It'll build character. So I hope you know that this isn't with you personally. It's just with the state that, you know, you were unfortunately living in and. Yeah, but I do. Thank you.
Willie
Another question.
Miles
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Willie
So, you know, you have your chip on your shoulder, and you explain why. Now, have you or would you ever date someone from Illinois? Illinois. And if he did, how would your family feel about that?
Miles
Oh, God, I wouldn't tell my family, first of all. I mean, I would lie. I would say that, you know, she's from Beloit, you know, something like that. I mean, if they found out. Dana, bears. I mean, you've seen Romeo and Juliet, right? This. This ends with a double sui. You know, over at Soldier Field. I mean, I hate to say it, but I'm drinking that poison right after you, you know, so it's a tough. It's a tough goal, but love is love, and you can't.
Charlie Barrons
You can't help the old double suey. Oh, yeah. This is a classic double suey situation, Charlie.
Miles
Yeah. She was Illinois. Who's from Wisconsin. We see this five, seven times a year at least.
Charlie Barrons
Classic Double suey. Yeah.
Miles
Why? I. Who are you trying to hook me up with?
Charlie Barrons
Cousin to the double homie? You know?
Willie
No, there's this show on Netflix, it just came out and it's called. No one wants this. It's like this Jewish rabbi guy and then this girl that's just like a hot mess and she's not Jewish. And it's just like a feel good movie. It's got a guy from the OC on it. Adam Brody.
Miles
Adam Brody. Still alive.
Willie
Fall in love.
Miles
Wow. I gotta give that a watch.
Willie
He's hot.
Miles
Yeah. Are you. Are you trying to get with Adam Brody? Is that what I'm getting here?
Willie
I'm. I'm married.
Miles
You're married?
Charlie Barrons
So. So you're saying that if a guy, someone from Wisconsin was dating another person from Illinois, it would be like a rabbi and a girl who's kind of a mess dating is what you're saying. Who's the rabbi and who's the mess?
Willie
Well, I was listening. I listen to your guys podcasts when I work and it just. I don't know, I just saw it and I thought of how much Charlie has a dislike for people in Illinois.
Charlie Barrons
Who's the rabbi and who's the mess?
Willie
In the movie or the show?
Charlie Barrons
No, in this Wisconsin, Illinois situation. Is Charlie the rabbi or is Charlie the mess?
Willie
No, neither of them. It's the. I don't like all their friends and family. No one wants this.
Miles
Well, I'll tell you this.
Willie
Let me say this, Juliet, like everyone else.
Miles
Let me say this to you and all the people of Illinois. I love you, okay?
Charlie Barrons
I do.
Miles
But sometimes I. I'd like you if you just slowed down a sko and you bought land in Michigan instead. Come visit.
Willie
I guess I won't be heading to the Mars cheese factory.
Miles
No, Come on, I'm teasing. I'm pulling your leg. Get up here. We love you. We do. And here's the thing.
Willie
I came up to see you at the. Sorry.
Miles
No, don't say sorry. God, you are so Midwest, I gotta tell you. Let me wrap this up here. Let me wrap this up here and just tell you that we do love you. And we need you. We need you, okay? We need your love for the bears to transcend. It gives us some determination. Talk about. Because if. If it. If. If we don't have this unfounded hatred for you, we might have to start feeling our feelings. And that is not something we're about to.
Charlie Barrons
Without Illinois. Charlie, it's Just go Packers.
Miles
Yeah, it's. It's so much funner to say, fuck the Bears, you know, so we.
Charlie Barrons
Punchline to that.
Miles
Yeah, there is.
Charlie Barrons
Go Packers. It's boring.
Miles
Yeah. I mean, we thank you because without you, you we wouldn't have all your losses against the packers, and. And we just wouldn't have as much fun. So thank you for being you.
Charlie Barrons
Without the Bears, you wouldn't be able to start the season two, and.
Miles
Oh, thank you very much.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in today. Thanks for the love. Thanks for tuning in, and, yeah, thanks for calling in.
Willie
Don't forget to tip your bartender.
Miles
Yes, tip your bartender. Thank you very much. Go Packers. And F. The Bears. We'll see you soon.
Willie
Bye. Bye.
Miles
Bye.
Charlie Barrons
Well, Charlie, is that another solid good episode of the Bellied up podcast?
Miles
In the books, ITB Miles. In the books, cba.
Charlie Barrons
Could be anything.
Miles
Could be anything.
Charlie Barrons
Could be anywhere.
Miles
Could be anyone. Hello there, guys. This is Josh. Hey, Josh. How you doing? My guy, Josh. Where you from? I'm from southwest Louisiana, a little bitty town that nobody knows of. Southwest. The heel of the boot. Boot, right. Does Louisiana look like a boot?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
Yeah, it does. Yeah. He's the boot to your mitten, Josh.
Charlie Barrons
What's the capital of Louisiana? Booton Rouge.
Miles
He said Booton Rouge. Get it? Do you hear what Josh said? The boot to my mitten. That was really. It was fun. Sorry, Josh, I missed what you said.
Justin
Which part?
Miles
I don't know. Yeah, tell us what's on your mind. All right, I'll up with y'all. All right, so I had a question for you guys. Okay. What's the Midwest equivalent to a crawfish boil? Oh, well, I mean, we got a few equivalents to a crawfish boil. One would say a flavor fish boil. Another would say a fish fry. You know, one of those things, because I think you got crawfish boil, you kind of just dump it all out on a plate. I would say the closest thing is probably a fish boil or a pickled fish salad. You know, you get a bunch of fish. You get a bunch of veggies in there. You get the northern pike with the wide bones. You don't want to clean the wide bones. You just chop them up, put in there, pickle up. My Uncle Joel makes a great one, but that you can just kind of dump it out into a smorgasbord. We got a couple options. But anyway, why do you ask? You know, just being nosy. Just chilling out on a Wednesday.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
That's what you also What?
Justin
Had something interesting happen last night.
Miles
So over here, somebody stole a truck and drove into a convenience store and stole her atm. That's very inconvenient.
Charlie Barrons
That took that.
Miles
Yeah, very convenient.
Charlie Barrons
That took that convenience store and turn it into an inconvenience store.
Miles
Did you see what Miles did right there? Did you see that? Oh, yeah, I see what he did. Oh yeah.
Charlie Barrons
I'm gonna head down to the thing.
Miles
Right.
Charlie Barrons
I'm gonna head down to the inconvenience store. You gotta go through all the rubble to get inside.
Miles
Probably pretty convenient for them though. You think they got a good haul out of that or did they get pulled over by the pokey? It was a stolen truck and they crashed in a ditch not far from my sister's house.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so this has got to be the talk of the town. Sounds like you're in a small town if something like this happens.
Miles
Got about 9, 800 people in it. Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
So you. I mean this has got to be a talk of the town. Is it the talk of the town?
Miles
You probably know did. Oh, we got a picture right here pulled up. Holy. I mean I can.
Charlie Barrons
It looks like a clean break.
Miles
Right?
Charlie Barrons
Right through.
Miles
Yeah. They knew the weak spot. Oh my God. Oh yeah.
Justin
Y'all found it.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
So what, they just backed up into it, threw the ATM in the back of the bed of the truck and drove off?
Miles
That's pretty much what I'm gathering. Yeah. Who did it? We don't know that much.
Charlie Barrons
This is a classic. Who done it?
Miles
Yeah, who do you think done it? You know everyone in the town.
Charlie Barrons
Everyone.
Miles
I don't know everybody, but had to guess. It's probably someone who stole that truck.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, that's good detective work. Do you think there was any meth involved? It seems like a meth ridden accident.
Miles
Smells a little methy. Oh, definitely meth involved.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, yeah, yeah. Most robberies do have meth involved. I've seen the case. I had a buddy that got robbed by a bunch of meth heads.
Miles
Method. Yeah, it's not the breakfast of champions, tell you that much. Well, what else is going on in your town? Aside for the lack one less atm, I think the rest is just the normal well going about their business, wondering about that atm. Listen, listen, I. I understand your where you're coming from of just like, well, an ATM got stolen and that's kind of that. This is an unsolved crime right now, all right? And you're just sitting there on your ass in the boot of Louisiana, not solving the crime. It's time for you to start contributing to society. This is your calling. Get up out of the Lazy Boy, go to where that truck was found, and start looking for clues. You know, they might have left something in, maybe some footprints on the grass over there. You never know. Do you track a deer ever? No, but I've tracked some ducks before.
Charlie Barrons
All right, you got to start looking for droppings. Yeah. Look.
Miles
Yeah. To see if there's any meth droppings.
Charlie Barrons
Yes.
Miles
They're. They're like rabbit pellets. Just. Yeah. Boot prints. Yeah. Use needles, anything like that. Anything. You start getting through the woods, seeing what. And that's the best case scenario. You find the worst case scenario. You get out in the woods, you're in enjoying life, you know, Best case, you can't solve a crime. Worst case, you see a new woodpecker.
Charlie Barrons
Well, Charlie, you know, I do. Like, since we're now a true crime podcast, I have a question for you.
Miles
What's that?
Charlie Barrons
I'd like you to tell me what you think the perfect crime is.
Miles
I mean, I think. Right. I think we've witnessed a perfect crime right now.
Charlie Barrons
They definitely got caught.
Miles
They didn't get caught.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, they haven't been caught.
Miles
That's why I told him to go figure it out.
Charlie Barrons
They're at large.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
Well, I mean, perfect crime so far. What's the craziest thing about this is the chief of police owns that store.
Charlie Barrons
Oh. Oh. Gone from a classic who done it to a full gone conspiracy.
Miles
Josh. I think that this was an inside job, my guy. And I think that's. That's why it hasn't been solved yet, because the chief of police.
Charlie Barrons
Kind of weird how much they're dragging their feet.
Miles
Yeah. Now, Miles, how are you gonna let your own store get robbed? Yeah. And it.
Charlie Barrons
Insurance money.
Miles
Stop. Stop talking. At this point, from a journalistic standpoint, because obviously we're journalists. We have to say allegedly before any accusations.
Charlie Barrons
This is probably an alleged. This is for sure, sure.
Miles
Alleged possible insurance. One could see how someone with police connections could figure out how. No one could figure out who stole an atm, collect some insurance money, and also take the. The atom. How did they get the atm? Was the ATM still in the truck? I think, yeah, it was in the bed of the truck. It was broken into. Oh. So they broke in, they got the money, and they. Whoa. Take the money and run.
Charlie Barrons
All I know is when this inevitably goes to trial.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
The lawyers better make sure no one tries on a glove, because that could be disastrous.
Miles
Yeah. Because you know what they'll say? No Glove? No, love.
Charlie Barrons
No. If it don't fit, you must stop.
Miles
Taking their medicine so their hand gets bigger.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, that's how it goes. So we have a. I mean, this is a conspiracy theory. We have chief, chief of police involved. He owned the convenience store.
Miles
How does the chief of police own a convenience store?
Charlie Barrons
He probably bought it with his money.
Miles
Oh, well, I think he inherited it. Oh, he inherited it. See, that's. That's what I'm talking about. It's tough to get a convenience store on a police chief's salary, I think. I don't know that they. Yeah, I would have seen himself.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. So tell me, what are some of the murmurs that are going around the small town right now of maybe who did it? Seems speculative that the police chief owns the store. What? There any rumors going around right now?
Miles
Not that I'm aware of. I haven't really talked to anybody about it yet. I just got told about. My sister told me about it because, you know, truck crashed by her house. That's about all I know right now. Boys, what do you do for a living that's more important than solving this frigging crime? Josh? I'm a school bus monitor.
Charlie Barrons
What do you mean?
Miles
All right, so I ride with the substitute drivers and keep an eye on the kids and help them with directions.
Charlie Barrons
So you. You do ride alongs with bus drivers?
Miles
Pretty much. Fricking awesome.
Charlie Barrons
So that's where all our government money is going. We're paying two bus drivers for one.
Miles
Bus going on with the new drivers. Miles, you can't just send. Are you kidding me? It's a great way to spend public funds. You can't send a new driver out with a bus full of kids. The one kid, probably you, Miles, is gonna smell the weakness and start fricking with the bus driver, hijack that thing, back it into a convenience store, steal the atom, and then they're off on the. On the deal, ripping it out. Going through the woods and hanging out with Matt. Meth edge. I mean, how dare you? Question. Yeah, I think you know that there. Yeah, I did, Josh. Don't worry. Hey, I am in full support of you doing this job right now. I know, I. And the reason Miles was questioning it is he was that kid that would have been hijacking that school bus. No.
Charlie Barrons
Lots of spitballs.
Miles
Yeah, it would have started off spitball balls, but you sense what he's being.
Charlie Barrons
You know, spitballs is a gateway drug to stealing ATMs from convenience stores. It is, right?
Miles
Yeah. It all starts with one spitball. It's a slippery spitty slope after that.
Charlie Barrons
So what are some of the stuff you got to deal with as the bus super moderator, monitor superintendent?
Miles
Kids who were just like you were, acting spitballs and breaking up fights, little arguments.
Charlie Barrons
Are you guys still allowed to use the rulers to discipline, or is that frowned upon? Now, hold on, guys.
Miles
Talking to my dad. What's up, Dad? I don't know. Mama was talking about tomato sauce. That sounds good.
Charlie Barrons
Is that your dad?
Miles
Dad? Yep. Yes, my dad.
Charlie Barrons
Can you ask him what he knows about the burglary?
Miles
What do you know about the burglary in town? I know that somebody backed the truck up. They found the truck. It was stolen. They packed the truck up, broke the front end. The long y'all was open, and they found the truck down Elliott Road. Miranda's house. Yep. That's all we know right now.
Charlie Barrons
Is it? Does he know any details about how much cash was stolen?
Miles
No, we don't know that. Stolen? Look, I promise you, that cash machine has a tractor in it. They know exactly where it's at right now. Pretty sure it was still embedded in trust and found a truck. Oh, no, they didn't say. Huh. Does he think it was an inside job?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Ask him that.
Miles
Do you think it was an inside job because of the chief?
Emily
The police?
Miles
No. No. Why not? Because I ain't never heard nothing bad about Cruz yet. Now, it could have been the last chief of police that we had. What's his name?
Braylon
Sean.
Miles
Sean. Then I said, oh, Sean done made him some money. All right, dad. Tell your dad when he says hi, it's your family. All right, well, he's a.
Justin
Said hi.
Miles
Real good.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so. All right. Good to know. Current police of police chief, he's a. He's a straight shooter. But the old guy, Sean, kind of a piece of probably would have done it. Who knows? Sean. Sean may have done this in retaliation of Luke losing his chief of police job to new guy.
Miles
Maybe.
Charlie Barrons
We may have a new lead.
Miles
I feel like we're on CSI, L.A. right now. Yeah. Also, I just learned where. I just learned where a cop came from. Chief of police. Oh, cop.
Charlie Barrons
No, I got that. I don't know if that's true or not.
Miles
It's true. I just thought of it.
Charlie Barrons
What would be the tagline if this was a csi? You know, right before they do the intro, they do the opening scene, and then he takes off his glasses and says a one liner. What would be the one liner?
Miles
This guy lost more than his pin. Wow. Honestly, I think they would walk through the Doors and say this place is wide open. Wow. Burning out.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Or.
Miles
Where Y'all drinking that today? Were you changing this up? We're not done yet. Let's withdraw from his. All right. Ah, I lost it.
Charlie Barrons
Maybe we can go convenience store again, you know?
Miles
Yeah, no, that seems convenient.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, well, this convenience store sure seems inconvenient. Yeah, so we're.
Miles
We're over at the packing house in Milwaukee. You want to fly up here right next to the airport? Yeah, I mean, he's got a.
Charlie Barrons
He's got an airplane. He's got a crime to solve, Charlie. You can't be fleeing the state.
Miles
That's true.
Charlie Barrons
Now, wouldn't it be something if he was the one that did this and this is his alibi?
Miles
I mean, that would. Would be hilarious. Did you do it? Well, Josh, I got an alibi. Who's your alibi, Josh? I was drinking the Miller high life at 2:30am at the time of crying.
Charlie Barrons
That sounds like someone who maybe robbed a convenience store would say.
Miles
Yeah. Who are you drinking with, Josh? My dogs. Your dogs?
Charlie Barrons
Oh, convenient. They can't talk.
Miles
Yeah. Hey, put your dog on the phone. I want to talk to your dog. Put that dog. Tell your dog. Tell your dog I says this Relay the message. You better do it just like that, Josh, that dog's gonna go homeward bound on your ass if you don't do that deal. Okay? He's gonna be his way to Wisconsin to tell me the real freaking culprit. You better have been drinking highlights with that pooch. Oh, he's a blue healer. He's gonna get distracted by a cow before he makes it to Milwaukee. Josh, I gotta tell you, you're not giving us a whole lot of hope to think you didn't steal that atm. Well, I didn't steal no truck, but your dad might have.
Charlie Barrons
Sounds like something someone would say we didn't want us. I think he still old truck.
Miles
Yeah. And, oh, maybe you are telling the truth, but your dad might be in on it too, Josh. Yeah, well, if he's in on it, then good for him for living the retirement life. I think you guys are trying to frame that former chief of police.
Charlie Barrons
Sean.
Miles
Sean. I'm gonna call the Louisiana Son plan. A little story in here, a little plant a little seed in their brain.
Charlie Barrons
I thought you were talking about good journalism. Charlie.
Miles
It'S 2024. It's dead.
Charlie Barrons
All right, well, honestly, good luck on the. On the case. Good luck finding evidence.
Miles
Appreciate that.
Charlie Barrons
I know you call us back once you find him, because I don't know if I'm be able to sleep very good at night knowing that there's a.
Miles
Criminal at large currently in the boot of Louisiana. All right. All right. Hey, good talking to you. Yeah. Watch out for gators and snakes and.
Charlie Barrons
Creepy crawlies and pick and ATMs.
Miles
Yeah. Watch out for deer. All right, thanks, my guy. We see you soon.
Charlie Barrons
My favorite part of the call was that his dad had. You know, he was. I don't know anything yet, but he came off. If I had is not the current chief of police. He's got the dirt on the old.
Miles
Guy, so I. I like that he comes off firing on it. Yeah. Good. Good dad. You know, Josh is a nice guy, too. I hope he wasn't offended we accused him of potentially being involved. Involved in this. But he did start.
Charlie Barrons
Everyone's a suspect. Everyone's guilty. In our mind, unless proven innocent, we're all suspicious. Okay, Kale, well, why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind.
Patty
Well, I've got a. I've got a lot of friends that are wanting to do some double dates, but they just.
Miles
Can'T seem to pull any girls, so they. I. I need some help on how I can be a good wingman here, you know?
Charlie Barrons
Okay. So one. Not to brag. You got yourself. Yourself a girl, correct?
Patty
Well, I. I do, yeah. Believe it or not.
Charlie Barrons
Are you married? Girlfriend? Fiance.
Patty
So. So I'm actually 17 years of age, but.
Miles
So I'm not married. You're 17. That complicates all the advice we're gonna give you.
Charlie Barrons
Yes, it.
Miles
Really? Yeah.
Patty
Wow.
Charlie Barrons
I had a whole host of things that I was gonna maybe say.
Miles
Thank you for clarifying that before we were in some legal figure.
Charlie Barrons
Figure was good.
Patty
We get that out of the way.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Okay. First question that pops in my head is, why are you so worried about going on double dates at 17 years old?
Miles
Well, I'm just trying to help out.
Patty
My buddies, you know?
Charlie Barrons
You guys are 17?
Miles
Yeah. Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
What are they more. Are they more interested in Fortnite than hanging out with girls or what?
Miles
A lot of. A lot of them are, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And what's so wrong with that, Kale?
Miles
Well, there's nothing that's wrong with that. They just. Well, so see, here's the predicament is they. They all would like some.
Patty
They would all like some female interaction.
Miles
In their life, but they just. They don't know how to get it. And so I'm trying to be of assistance if I can, you know, you.
Charlie Barrons
Sound like you're 30. You sound like you're 30.
Miles
I sound like I'm 30?
Patty
Is that what you said? You know, I actually get told a lot that I'm really old.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Patty
Or I sound like I'm really old.
Miles
What do you.
Charlie Barrons
So. Well, hold on. How did you meet your girlfriend?
Miles
I. I asked her on a date.
Charlie Barrons
At. At school?
Miles
Well, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Okay.
Miles
Well, is. Do you say, well, like, what class? Where in school? How did it happen?
Charlie Barrons
Was it at her? Locked?
Miles
I didn't ask her. I didn't ask. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Well, I.
Patty
So it was for. For a dance.
Miles
You want to go close that door for me? Did you just call someone? Hang on. Pause, pause. Did you just call that guy Bronco?
Patty
That's his name.
Miles
So Bronco and Kale.
Charlie Barrons
Kale and Bronco are chilling, playing Fortnite on. On their summer break.
Miles
No, we're. We're. We're working right now.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, where are you working at?
Patty
We're. We're beekeepers, believe it or not.
Miles
You're beekeeper. This is. This just keeps getting more and more. This. The onion that just keeps peeling. Hey, is Bronco your brother, by chance?
Patty
No, he's.
Miles
He's the boss's son. Do you mind if I put you on speaker so I can use both mine? Yeah, yeah, go put us on speaker. It's just. Okay. All right, boys, if you can't hear me, let me know. I'll figure something else out. What are you doing while you're talking to us? Well, we're. So we got these pallets that we're putting what's called loading boards on them, and we put them around like honey boxes when we strap them down, or like, underneath boxes so the honey doesn't spill. And we're just banding them up so we can store them. Oh, that's great.
Charlie Barrons
I like that.
Miles
Yeah, we can count each one. You're standing up. It's nice.
Charlie Barrons
So what is. So you're wondering how you're gonna help your guy buy buddies get girlfriends? Is that what you're wondering?
Miles
Well, at least, I don't know. Just help them out a little bit, you know? Whatever you can do to help me with that.
Charlie Barrons
All right. All right, Charlie, let's want you to close your eyes and pretend you're back in high school.
Miles
Okay?
Charlie Barrons
How you gonna help your other high school friend get a girlfriend? What's.
Miles
Step one? Was not good at this in high school.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, I'll go. What, you're gonna start?
Miles
I just dropped something, but it does Suck that. You weren't good at that in high school.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, you weren't good at it. Like Kale is Kale.
Miles
Clearly Kale is with a game that.
Charlie Barrons
He'S reeling and dealing in high school.
Miles
Yeah. Now name like Kale, you're gonna.
Charlie Barrons
So if I'm in high school and I'm trying to be a good wingman, I am probably be starting a rumor that one person likes another person. Remember that it was Charlie likes Miranda. You know, I heard that you're maybe in the. In the. At lunch, in the cafeteria, and now you just spill that information out, plant the seed.
Miles
Yeah, Yeah, I do like that. Now I've got to ask, with all the technology going on, do kids still right now.
Patty
I. I honestly, I have no idea.
Miles
I can't confirm. Deny that. What do you mean you can't confirm or deny it? Dude, you're in school. Who are we gonna. Well, I mean, I don't have enough.
Patty
Like, I don't know if people do that.
Willie
I don't know.
Miles
Maybe not that I've seen. You've never not write in notes anymore.
Charlie Barrons
Accidentally send a Snapchat to the wrong person saying that Charlie likes Miranda. Right? That's. You guys used to.
Miles
Okay, I see what you're saying. I don't, but a lot of people do. Well, you're giving us a lot to work with here, Kale. I'm trying my best. Boy, no, you keep putting those pallets on that. The honey is serious business.
Charlie Barrons
So I'm gonna think back to when I was a high schooler. If I was with my girlfriend, I wanted as much alone time with my girlfriend in high school school as virtually possible. And you're wanting to go on double dates. What's. What's the real root of this?
Miles
That's true. What, sorry.
Charlie Barrons
What's the real root of wanting to go on double dates?
Miles
I don't know.
Patty
A lot of my buddies just have.
Miles
Very strict parents, you know?
Charlie Barrons
Do you have non strict parents?
Miles
I don't know. I wouldn't say non strict, but they're very, very loving and forgiving parents.
Charlie Barrons
So you're having the parties at your house then as well, what you're saying?
Miles
Yeah, pretty much.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, all right. Charlie. Charlie. Were you allowed to have parties growing up?
Miles
Oh, God, I had 12 kids growing. The house was never empty.
Charlie Barrons
That's true.
Miles
Be a party with the whole family. That's exactly. So listen, you. You've got. You're trying to get your. Your motivation here. How long have you been dating your girl girlfriend? Nine months. Nine Months. And we cut you off. Before I cut you off, where did you guys meet?
Patty
So there was a.
Miles
There was a school dance, and I.
Willie
Asked to do it.
Miles
And then she.
Willie
She asked me on another date.
Miles
And that's how that happened.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
Pallet. You just dropped a pallet.
Charlie Barrons
Did you get stung by a bee?
Miles
I haven't yet today, but I did a whole bunch. Yesterday or the day before?
Charlie Barrons
A lot of. A lot of EpiPens getting thrown around at this job. I like it.
Miles
All right, I got the solution. Kale. I'm not. I'm not allergic. I don't ever have to use the EpiPen, but Bronco here had to use one yesterday. Well, sorry to hear that. Bronco. Go.
Charlie Barrons
Bronco was almost not bucking anymore, I can tell you that. Close call.
Miles
Well, he just. He just. He just held my hand and.
Charlie Barrons
Is Bronco there, by the way? Can we talk to Bronco?
Miles
Oh, yeah.
Patty
Here he is.
Miles
There you go.
Charlie Barrons
Bronco. Bronco, you there?
Miles
What.
Charlie Barrons
What are you doing working at a beekeeping job? Being allergic to bees. My uncle.
Miles
Family business. It's a family business. You know, you risk it all for the family. That's how it goes. So. Like, a month ago, so. Well, glad you've changed course.
Charlie Barrons
Have you fired up your resume now, knowing you are allergic to bees?
Willie
No.
Miles
I should, though.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. I mean, it's just you're constantly living in a state of thrill. I could die at any. Any moment. And maybe that's what keeps you there.
Justin
We've got plenty of epidemics here.
Miles
Just give me another one.
Charlie Barrons
I get back to work is what happened yesterday. So you're not even getting the day off after getting stung by a bee and getting stabbed with.
Miles
I work seven more hours after that.
Charlie Barrons
And. How old are you, Bronco?
Patty
Sixteen.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. They just. You know, they don't make kids like they used to. Broncos. One of the.
Miles
You know, he's one of the.
Charlie Barrons
The. The. My dad would be very proud of Bronco. He'd be way more proud of Bronco than he is of me.
Miles
You know, with a name like Bronco, you really. You really got to live up to that situation.
Charlie Barrons
Well, is that your God given name or is that a nickname?
Miles
Oh, God, given that.
Charlie Barrons
I love it.
Miles
That's. I mean, do you ever wonder why your name. Bronco. Bronco. I do actually wonder why. I don't. I don't know why, but I wonder all the time. You ever ask? I do ask them, and they don't even know why the name is Bronco. Oh, okay. Okay.
Charlie Barrons
All Right. All right, we'll leave it at that. You're 16.
Miles
Hey, Bronco, do you have a girlfriend or any idea how to get Kale's friends to talk to? Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Wait. Kale talking about Bronco right now while he's in the room?
Emily
Turns out I am that friend.
Charlie Barrons
You are?
Miles
Yeah. Okay, well, Bronco, do you want to. Do you want to hang out with girls? Yes. Okay, well.
Charlie Barrons
What. What's what? Why haven't you been able to hang out with girls and talk to girls?
Miles
They scare me. They scare scary. You can't even just. How can I help make Bronco more comfortable around people of the female variety? I mean, with. With a name like Bronco, you shouldn't have any fear.
Charlie Barrons
I think what he does, Charlie, is you got to lead in with the be thing.
Miles
Oh, yeah, He's a bee. Oh, I like the way you boys are thinking. Yeah, you just in with the beekeeping you.
Charlie Barrons
Maybe. Maybe you just leave.
Miles
Bronco just about brought the whole building down, in case you want.
Patty
Boys are wondering how he just about.
Miles
KO'd the ceiling with.
Patty
With the forklift.
Miles
But it's okay.
Emily
We're good.
Miles
We didn't get crushed. Anyway, sorry to interrupt you. Should I even ask if he's certified on that thing?
Patty
No.
Miles
No one.
Patty
No one that works here is certified.
Charlie Barrons
That's the wrong answer. What if we were undercover OSHA agents? You got to say yes, we are.
Miles
For everybody here has went through many, many hours of rigorous, rigorous training on the forklift. Good job, Cal.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so what you're gonna do, Bronco, is you're gonna. You're gonna be in the hallway at school.
Miles
Oh, sorry. Hold on.
Charlie Barrons
Hold on.
Miles
Bronco.
Patty
Bronco just took off on the forklift. But I can relay this message, I think.
Miles
Or you can wait. I think the forklift is a good look. Bronco can give tours of a beef keeping facility, you know, so find the. I like the way you think. Find the nerdy, beloved girls or find the machine loving girls. He can give forklift pride.
Charlie Barrons
Well, I'm thinking you go the badass.
Miles
I like the way you think. What's the badass route?
Charlie Barrons
Like, he needs to be leaned up against a locker in the school hallway and just casually around some girls. Be like, I almost died last week. Yeah, it's a close call, but.
Patty
Oh, I like the way.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Nothing.
Miles
A little.
Patty
And then I've got to help. I've got to help, like, add on to these stories, right?
Miles
Help them.
Patty
Like, help them. Give them more reasons for them to.
Miles
Be true, you know? Yes. Kale. Build the legends. My man.
Charlie Barrons
He got stung by a bee, and he just didn't even stop. I. While he was running the forklift, I had to stab him with an EpiPen. The guy just came. Keeps going. He's the Energizer Bunny. Yeah.
Patty
I help build their relationship upon a mountain of life.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. She's just like, what a man. One, his name is Bronco, and two.
Patty
He'S named after a crazy horse, for heaven's sakes.
Miles
He's got to be a good guy.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, exactly. And nothing will make someone like someone more than if they flirt with death and survive. Nothing's hotter than that. That's why all the women were crazy about Evil Knievel back in the day. Guy, right? Women love guys who flirt with death and come out unscathed.
Miles
Exactly. And you. You've got to talk. You say you can even throw it in there. Bronco is the Evil Knievel of. Of forklift operators. You know, like, I've seen him. Yeah. Build the legend. I like the way you boys are thinking.
Charlie Barrons
I tell you what, you. You guys, whoever's running that beekeeping place is running a tight ship. You guys haven't stopped.
Patty
See, I. I tried to call you.
Miles
Earlier, but then old boss man started yelling at us, so I had to hang up. Oh, that's what that was? Yeah. All it was was. And then click. Thanks for letting us know. Yeah, well, yeah, he. He's gone now, though, so we can do whatever we want.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I like that. Well, I think.
Miles
Yeah, just help Bronco out one legend at a time. Build one legend at a time. Start with Bronco. Once Bronco gets himself a gal, you can move on to your other friends.
Patty
I like the way. I like that.
Miles
One at a time. Don't. And I want to over complicate ourselves here.
Charlie Barrons
You know, with a name like Bronco, you should just tell everyone that his middle name is Danger. And I. Honestly, I don't think I. At that.
Patty
I'm going to be.
Miles
One question about that. What?
Charlie Barrons
There's not going to be.
Miles
Oh, no.
Patty
Oh, I. I don't know.
Charlie Barrons
I'm just.
Miles
I'm just not very good at doing.
Patty
Two things at once.
Miles
What's Bronco's actual middle name? Let's determine if Danger is a better Bronco. What's Bronco?
Patty
What's your middle name? What's your middle name, Bronco? Clive. Oh, sorry. Clive.
Miles
And is his actual middle name Cliven?
Charlie Barrons
Bronco. Cliven.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, you say he sounds like an outlaw.
Miles
He does. Is that their Bronco, Clive?
Patty
Yeah, he does. We're building a lot of lore behind this guy. I like the way this is going here.
Miles
He's going to be running through ladies like it's nobody's business here pretty soon, you guys.
Charlie Barrons
And by running lady. Running through ladies. We meet lots of hand stuffs in movie theaters at age 16, you know.
Miles
Right. There'd be no.
Patty
No inappropriate activities.
Miles
Absolutely not. Hey, you guys, take your money, get Bronco leather jacket, work on his, lean against the locker. Before you know it, one friend will have a gal, and then it's just domino effect from there. Okay.
Charlie Barrons
I like.
Patty
I like this plan, boys.
Charlie Barrons
All right, well, thanks for calling in. Get back to work. And watch out for. For bees.
Patty
Hey, I appreciate.
Miles
I appreciate your advice.
Patty
I'll try not to get stung for you the rest of the day.
Miles
Real good. Real good, Kel. We'll see you soon. All right. You boys watch out for deer. We'll see you. All right, my guy. Bye. Bye. I like it, Miles.
Charlie Barrons
That is not where I thought that call was going, Charlie. But we are here and we're. It's very funny. It's like high school relationships don't matter.
Miles
No, not at. I didn't want to have the heart to tell Kale that I usually wait till their early 20s to say it's not going to last.
Charlie Barrons
You do say that a lot.
Miles
Yeah, just for funsies, you know? And if it. If it doesn't last, I was right. And if it holds that test that just. Whatever doesn't break it makes it stronger, you know?
Charlie Barrons
And we know what I'm having regrets about, Charlie.
Miles
What is that?
Charlie Barrons
I didn't name my kid Bronco Cliven Montplasier.
Miles
I mean, dude, it's just when he.
Charlie Barrons
Said it's really got a Social Security security card, too. It's gonna be a lot of paperwork to change it.
Miles
But you know what? You're gonna do the right thing.
Charlie Barrons
I know. Yep. So he's no longer August. He is Bronco Cliven.
Miles
I mean that.
Charlie Barrons
Should we take another caller?
Miles
Let's take another caller. Oh, hi. What's your name?
Willie
I'm Patty.
Miles
Hi, Patty. Where are you calling in from?
Willie
Wisconsin.
Miles
We're in Wisconsin, Patty. Be more sp. Specific.
Willie
Delavan.
Miles
Oh, Delavan. Beautiful this time of year. Belly up onto the bar with us, Patty. Tell us what's on your mind.
Willie
Well, I'm going. Well, I went through a breakup.
Miles
Oh, sorry.
Willie
A couple of weeks ago.
Miles
Oh, yeah.
Willie
It's such a bummer, right?
Miles
Did you like him?
Willie
Oh, I Hated him? No, of course I liked him.
Miles
Well, did you break up with him?
Willie
I only think I. I like well.
Miles
I know, but you broke.
Charlie Barrons
Honestly though, you'd be surprised. There's a lot of people there date people that they hate their guts and they just are afraid to get out of.
Miles
Stay in it, you know?
Charlie Barrons
Well, give us some details on the breakup.
Miles
Yeah. Who did it?
Willie
He did it.
Miles
Ah. What was his reason?
Willie
There was no reason. Like, it was so weird. Yeah. So I don't have closure. And then apart from that, I have. Have some of his stuff and I'm friends with.
Miles
We're all.
Willie
We all have the same friends.
Charlie Barrons
What's the friend group saying about the breakup? What are they. There has to be some information about it.
Willie
They're like, what? Like, well, okay. Because, like, well, you know, I kind of just. It was weird. Okay. So we were planning on getting together and I was making a pasta bake. And then all of a sudden, you know, we're going back and forth, oh, let's have some pasta bake and hang and whatnot. And then he's like, we need to talk. And I'm like, what? And I called him up like, you want to break up? I'm like, no one texts that. Like, who texts we need to talk? And then they want to pour tea or something. I. I don't think that happens.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, but I was like, do you.
Willie
Want to break up?
Charlie Barrons
I will have to say it is nice to get a warning shot. Text, though, about the talking. Yeah, it's tough to just think that you're going to hang out and have fun and then you show up and it's somber. At least you got a little bit of a warning. Sh.
Miles
It was a heads up. I could see that being something, so. But then he called you and he really told you the deal, huh?
Willie
Well, then I'm like, well, do you just want to break up or whatever. And he's like, yeah. I'm like, okay, I have some of your stuff. You have some of my stuff. Like, let's just meet up somewhere and, like, exchange the stuff. So, okay, fine, you know, we meet up, we exchange the stuff. No one talked about anything. There was no talking. It was just like, okay, canceled. And I'm like, okay, cool.
Patty
Cool.
Willie
Like, but not cool, but fine. But I don't even think our friends even knew the difference because we're both pretty independent. Like, I'm busy a lot. He's busy a lot. Like, we're both doing stuff, so I don't even think anybody even realized so, like, we weren't together, you know?
Miles
You have no insight as to why he wanted to break up? He just canceled his subscription to you without any notice.
Willie
I feel like I am a fiercely codependent person, and I. I love too much, and I do too much, and, like, we're both musicians and we're both busy and whatever, but, like, I still take the time to, like, I just think that he didn't like not having all the. Like, I don't know what he didn't like, but I think I did too much.
Charlie Barrons
So you're saying you squeezed the teddy bear a little too hard and the head popped off?
Willie
Yeah, I think I said, you know, and I just. But then again, I don't think I did, though, because, like, we would go for, like, a while without hanging out or whatever. I. I don't know what I did. I don't know what I did.
Miles
How old are you guys?
Willie
I don't know. What. I'm 43 and he's 32.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. Do you have. And so you think that might be the reason? It might. If you had to put your finger on something, would be that you were a little too much for him.
Willie
Well, I have a secret.
Miles
Oh, please.
Willie
He has a very good friend who is a girl who has had a crush on him for many, many years. And I don't like her, and I don't like the way she touches him and talks to him and stuff. And one time we were all out, and she stepped to me and she said something, you know, like, rude to me, and I didn't take it. I was like, girl, I said, y'all can like and love each other as much as you want to, but it's going to take me a long time to warm up to you, you know, the way you're acting and stuff. Like, you know what I'm saying? And it was like, kind of like one of those things. Yeah. And then everything kind of, like, fell apart since. You know what I mean? He had to choose homies and stuff like that. And also, like.
Miles
Also what?
Willie
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. What? What were you gonna say?
Willie
Well, they both have a similar lifestyle habit that, like, I don't have. Smoking weed and, like. No, not that it's something else, but they're connected. I just, you know, it's not, you know, it's just like when you ski on mountains and stuff and, like.
Miles
Cocaine. Cocaine.
Willie
I'm not.
Miles
That's exactly what you're talking about, isn't it, Pat?
Charlie Barrons
Hold on. So you're saying that they like to Go skiing together? Is that what you said?
Miles
Like, no snow, booger sugar?
Charlie Barrons
Oh, they like to do coke.
Miles
They like.
Charlie Barrons
So you're right.
Miles
You know what? Look at me, this day and age. Patty, I gotta tell you, with all the fentanyl and stuff going on out.
Charlie Barrons
There, cocaine's not so bad.
Miles
You don't want to be messing around with the booger sugar. Okay. So in the end, this is probably the right thing. Thing to do. Probably the right thing as much as it is, it sucks.
Willie
Absolutely. It's the right thing to do. Like, I'm not. I mean, obviously, like, my ego's bruised and I'm. You know, I have feelings. Right. You know, but the thing is it. This is my question. So that's the backstory. But the question is, is like, I. I still have, like, some of his stuff. And. And I.
Charlie Barrons
Didn't you do the meeting?
Willie
What do I do?
Charlie Barrons
Didn't you do the. And already exchange stuff. You have more stuff on top of that?
Willie
Yeah, it was too short notice, and I had. Well, and then, too, some of the stuff that he gave back to me. It didn't belong to me. He gave me back.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. So that was. This whole time I've been trying to see if there was an opportunity to ask this. I'm just going to ask it. Charlie, do you think that there was a chance, and I don't mean to hurt your feelings here, that there was a chance, another girl? Mainly the coke girl?
Willie
Not to be like, whatever, but the coke. The coke girl's really not that attractive.
Miles
Yeah, no, it's good. You're. It's good you're whispering that because that. We'll just keep that.
Willie
I don't think. Yeah, you're o first. Oh, man. Well, you know. Okay. Yeah. All right. It doesn't matter if I whisper it. I don't think they're attracting. I think she's attracted to him, but I don't think that he's attracted to her. And, like, he does have a female roommate, so, like, maybe the laundry got mixed up, but he gave me back this, like, black song that is, like, not my size at all. Like, it's bigger than me. And. Yeah. And I'm like, why is this in the laundry that he gave me back? You know? And then, like, I did. It was the short notice.
Charlie Barrons
What, it fit his roommate?
Willie
Well, his roommate's married. He lives with a married couple. It's a whole thing.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
Do they have pineapples at their house? Hanging upside down?
Willie
You know what? I freaking love pineapples. Like, I love pineapples, dude. Like the fruit, you know?
Miles
Yeah.
Willie
Like, why does everybody have to take everything, right? Like the rainbows, the pineapples, the unicorns, horns, like.
Miles
Well, you know, everybody's got their own things. You know, everybody's got their own thing.
Charlie Barrons
What the hell Is he doing a stand up?
Miles
I don't know.
Charlie Barrons
What's the deal with all the swingers? Yeah, I love pineapples. And now I took that from Flamingos.
Miles
Were my favorite bird. Damn it. Now they think I'm fornicating with Mrs. Wolinsky down the street.
Willie
Flamingos.
Miles
Flamingos.
Willie
Oh, flamingos.
Miles
Yeah. That's a swinger symbol, too.
Charlie Barrons
I didn't know that, actually.
Willie
Hi. Karamba.
Miles
Yeah.
Willie
Oh, my gosh. My golf partner loves flamingo.
Charlie Barrons
I feel like this call, she's just slowly losing her innocence. Like, I feel like we're just exposing her now to more things here. And I don't know, I like.
Willie
Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Do you know how babies are made?
Willie
I practiced a couple of times, but I don't really know.
Miles
Okay, well, so the thing to answer your question about your mutual friends is that were you guys mutual friends with them before the relationship, or did one of you become friends with them after the relationship? Relationship.
Willie
No, it's worse. Like, we. We kind of. Like, we both play music. We both work in the same sort of scenes. We both go to the same festivals. Like, I'm gonna bump into the guy, and I'm gonna bump into all the friends. Like, the friends are beautiful. They're so beautiful. Everybody is so beautiful. Except the one T. Buddy, what kind.
Miles
Of music do you.
Willie
And whatever the f. I want, Charlie.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, she's a punk rocker.
Miles
Seriously?
Charlie Barrons
F you.
Miles
I won't do what you tell me. Okay, I see.
Willie
Wonder why I got broken up with.
Charlie Barrons
Ah.
Miles
I mean, no. Throw it back at me. You know, I. I'm sorry. You know, you didn't get to do your part. Pasta, bacon, chill. That was unfortunate, but you don't need to blame me for that.
Charlie Barrons
I feel like you have two different personalities.
Miles
Yeah, we're seeing them both on this just sweet Patty and then all the.
Charlie Barrons
Patty if you don't tell me what to do.
Miles
Yeah, I'm just teasing.
Willie
I was just kidding.
Miles
So you're in punk rock?
Willie
The keyboard.
Miles
You play the keyboard?
Willie
No, I'm not a punk rocker, but I am punk on the inside. I think I'm kind of punk on the inside. You heard what I just said? Like, I was kind punky.
Miles
What genres of music?
Charlie Barrons
You know, I don't know a lot of punk people that go, you know what? I'm kind of punky on the inside.
Miles
Is it bluegrass? You play bluegrass?
Willie
Sometimes.
Miles
Sometimes.
Willie
I might play bluegrass tonight with my friend because he plays the banjo.
Miles
Do you know my buddy Adam Gruel from Horseshoes and Hand Grenades?
Willie
Your buddy probably knows my buddies, but I know his music, but I don't know him. I don't think.
Miles
Okay. Are you guys at the same festivals, Blue Ox and all that?
Willie
I didn't go to Blue. I don't play. Like, I'm a vendor at these festivals. Well, I might play.
Miles
Are you a musician or a vendor? I'm confused now, Patty.
Willie
I read tarot cards as a vendor, but I also play play music. So depending on the scene, I might be playing music, or I might be setting up a tent and reading people's tarot cards.
Miles
Wow. This is just getting deeper and deeper to me.
Charlie Barrons
The reading of the cards.
Willie
Well, there's 78 cards in the deck, and you pull some, and then you, like. They're like flashcards. They're like Rorschach ink lots or something. Like, it's like archetypes, and that sort of sparks people's intuition. I just want to give people a tool to kind of, like, help themselves spark their own intuition, you know, like when you go to flip a coin and you're like, okay, heads or tails? I'm gonna go drink a PBR today. And you obviously want it to be heads because you want to drink your pbr, you know, and.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, okay, similar to that, can we do it here on the show with Charlie here? Can we do something similar?
Willie
Yeah, but you want your tarot card.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Can we pull me a tarot?
Willie
Oh, I could pull. Yeah. Well, I mean, are. Are you being sincere? Like, do you sincerely have a question, or should, you know? Because seriously, like, the card, like, I. I, you know, I. I try to be real sincere when I do it. Like, do you really have a question?
Charlie Barrons
We are very, very curious on how this all works, and we'd like to do it with you.
Willie
All right, well, the way it works is that whoever's the client, whoever's going to ask the question, you keep that question in your mind. Please don't tell me what it is, but just focus on it, like, really hardcore. Okay?
Miles
Focus.
Willie
Look around for a deck of tarot cards really quick.
Miles
Don't accidentally pull the sheepshead cards.
Charlie Barrons
Can Charlie tell me the question? Question?
Miles
No.
Willie
Well, I mean, that's up to you guys.
Miles
I'm not telling you my question. No, you're gonna make fun of me for, like, four episodes? Yeah.
Willie
Oh, my goodness.
Miles
Stop not giving them any more ammunition.
Charlie Barrons
Patty, do you find those cards?
Willie
Yeah, I'm shuffling them right now.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, let's go, dude. Let's go. All right, let's get into Charlie's intuition.
Willie
Thank you. Thank you so much. By the way, my tagline is thank you for fine tuning your free will and intuition with me. So thanks.
Miles
I love it.
Willie
Hey, let me know.
Miles
Shout out your tarot business, Patty, for all the folks who are curious.
Willie
I'm called Esperanza Benzetero.
Miles
Esperanza Benze Taro.
Willie
You can find me all over southeastern Wisconsin. I'll be reading in Janesville on Saturday.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
All right. There you have it.
Willie
All right, well, I don't know how much I want to say, like, this is all over the Internet and stuff. Like, it's just so, like, random and weird. But I do want your advice, and I'll give you some advice, too, with these cards. So let me know when you're ready, and I'll. I'll throw the three cards.
Miles
Okay, I'm ready.
Willie
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
He's got his question in his mind. That's what he should be doing right now.
Willie
Oh, cool. You got the High Priestess. Oh, my gosh. You got the Lovers, and you got the High Priestess. Taro fan.
Miles
Holy moly.
Willie
You got three major arcana cards all at once. That's like pulling three aces in a lake.
Miles
Yeah, baby.
Willie
Hard. Look at you.
Miles
Let's go. So what does it mean, Patty? What do you think?
Willie
Okay, I'm gonna have to take a picture of these beautiful cards and, like.
Miles
Send them over to Big Bell, take a picture and tweet them at us Bellied up. Or.
Charlie Barrons
Or on Instagram, too.
Miles
Or on Instagram. Whatever.
Willie
Cool. I love you to see these beautiful cards. So I will do that.
Charlie Barrons
I don't know what any of this means, Charlie, but I am so psyched.
Miles
I know, dude. I. I pulled three aces, man. I won, dude.
Willie
I am also very psyched. I am also very psyched, man. So check this out, all right? The High Priestess, dude. Like, okay, so she is a card that represents, like, a character who is really in tune with her divine feminine intuition. She knows what she knows. She doesn't always say what she knows, but it's like a card of, like, having that higher guidance from a, like, feminine perspective. So look what you're doing right now. And then the card of the. That's in the middle of the spread, because, like, the High Priestess and the High Refinery See, that's crazy too, because the hierophant is like. Whereas the high priestess is more like the spiritual woman of the occult. The hierophant is like a priest, like somebody who's in an organized religion, like a church, you know, so that's like the two sides of the same coin. And they make a really good couple.
Charlie Barrons
Duality. Little duality there, Charlie.
Willie
Yeah, like they make like a really good couple. And then in the middle, it's the lovers. And obviously, duh, we all know what that is. And the lovers is also. I mean, as well as being a card of a soulmate path, the lovers is also a card of choices. It's strong Gemini energy. And it's a card of like choosing to take that path with another or with yourself. Like if you choose to take a soulmate path, like going after your passion or creativity or whatever it is. So you can tell us or not tell us what your question was.
Miles
No, I'm not telling any of you guys. Really? Yeah. Hell no.
Charlie Barrons
What's the point of this?
Miles
It's my own spirit. It's my own spiritual journey. It's my own spiritual journey. No, no.
Charlie Barrons
Come up with a different question then that you could tell us.
Miles
I want to know if I was gonna get a buck. Buck this year.
Willie
Apparently you're gonna get like a dang good one.
Miles
I'm gonna get bucked this year, Miles. Boom.
Charlie Barrons
Get bucked, baby.
Miles
Look at that. Bangerang.
Charlie Barrons
So how do you. How do you determine that?
Willie
Well, I just think that these cards are just so lucky, all three of them, that they just all popped. Come on. Like that doesn't even happen. You're gonna hit a buck.
Miles
Yeah, Patty. Hey, do even shuffle that down or. No.
Willie
Dude, I totally shuffled the deck, man.
Charlie Barrons
She's a pro, dude. That was offensive.
Miles
See? Of course she shuffled. How dare I? I'm sorry. Patty. Patty, that's awesome. Hey, you really. You really put some juice in my gas tank today. I appreciate that. That was really nice driving on.
Willie
Oh, you should definitely put gas in the gas bag, not juice.
Miles
Well, you know what?
Willie
I. Oh my.
Miles
Oh, that's pretty slick. That's great.
Charlie Barrons
Dude, we gotta. Hey.
Willie
Okay, do I throw this features away or whatever in the song or do I make a point?
Charlie Barrons
Hey, here we go. Let's pull some more cards and determine what you're gonna do with his clothes.
Miles
Determine why I'm gonna do it.
Charlie Barrons
She's already moved back on to what she's gonna do with the ex boyfriend stuff.
Miles
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Keep up Charlie, I know you got buck fever.
Miles
I'm a little. Yeah, I'm a bucking rut here also.
Charlie Barrons
Let's pull some cards.
Miles
Yeah. And, hey, I just want to ask you, Patty, did you intentionally not give your boo thing everything back because you kind of want to leave a little handkerchief behind, maybe a reason for a second guess in his life, you know?
Willie
No, it was so fast that I didn't realize that I had his shirts in my laundry. And then I tried to give him back right away, and, like, he just. Just freaking disappeared. Like, you know, And I. I mean, they have a weekly gig at this one spot where, like, I also would be there usually, but I'm just, like, avoiding the scene, you know? But this one girl that works there is like, dude, I really wish I would see you, you know, you know, and blah, blah, blah. So I was like, all right, well, maybe I'll just drop it off to her when I know nobody's going to be there.
Charlie Barrons
Well, let's see. Let's pull some cards, and then you'll know what to do. Let's do it.
Miles
Shuffle that deck.
Charlie Barrons
Now, I want you to hold that question in your mind, but don't tell us.
Willie
Well, d. I just told you.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, well, I. Yeah. Let's see what the cards say.
Willie
Let's see what the next card in the deck is, and that's going to determine the outcome here. So it's like, all right, my question. Oh, jeepers, I'm getting potential. Spam is calling me right now.
Miles
Ignore it or merge the calls. You want to merge the call?
Willie
O. Okay, I'm. I got. Is the call merged? Oh, my gosh, no. I don't think I did. I got King of Pentacles reversed.
Charlie Barrons
You got what, though?
Willie
King of Pentacles reversed.
Charlie Barrons
And what is that?
Miles
Does that king got big pentacles?
Charlie Barrons
Explain to me as if I don't know anything about this, which I do.
Willie
They're definitely reversed. Okay, so the King of Pentacles is a card of, like, somebody who's really responsible. They're usually a Taurus, a Capricorn, or a Virgo person. They're very earthy, and they're very, like, able to take care of people, places and things. They're good father figure. Now, the King of Pentacles reversed. That's like being a little bit irresponsible or maybe needing to get a handle and get a little bit more grounded in the situation. There's some sort of ungrounded groundedness to the whole situation.
Charlie Barrons
I think you got.
Willie
I think I'm just gonna chill.
Charlie Barrons
I think you got your answer. The first thing you said.
Willie
Yeah, I'm just gonna chill. I'm just put the bag of crap in my car. And then, like, if I ever happen to just, like, bump into him or anybody else.
Charlie Barrons
You're reading it wrong. You said earth in the first part, and you said grounded in the next. The cards want you to bury this.
Willie
Oh, my God.
Miles
Wow, Miles, you got it.
Charlie Barrons
Dig a hole, dump it in, just like the old farmers do. Cover it up and go on your way.
Miles
That's it. And it will be very spiritually revitalizing for you to bury. Put in the ground. Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
It's kind of like death.
Miles
Hold a funeral for that relationship. Say your own. What do they call it at a funeral? The eulogy. Say a eulogy for. For this relationship.
Charlie Barrons
This whole time you've been looking for closure. Have a funeral for the relationship. Dump the clothes in there, and then don't let it suck any more of your energy.
Miles
Right. And you better do it quick before the ground freezes.
Patty
Oh, my goodness.
Willie
Yes, I. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's actually really good advice.
Miles
You know what, Patty? Thank you for calling us today. And we're happy that we could help you. And you help. Helped us.
Willie
Okay. I'll take a picture of those cards for you.
Miles
Yes, please.
Charlie Barrons
Also, you gotta let us know where we can get a deck of cards, because now I'm addicted to the advice life.
Willie
Oh, my gosh. Well, I. Yeah, I. There's so many places to get cards. And, yeah, if. If you ever need a reading, you know how to find me, so.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
Thanks a lot, Patty. Thank you.
Charlie Barrons
This was great.
Willie
Bye.
Miles
Bye.
Charlie Barrons
Bye. Bye.
Miles
Well, Patty was.
Charlie Barrons
What a way to end that episode. Charlie.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
You're getting a buck. She's gonna dig a hole.
Miles
I mean. And, Miles, can I just say, dude, I am impressed with you. I mean, look at both flying. You're a Toro card reader. And the whole deal.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, I gotta get myself some Toro cards.
Miles
Hey, do you know if you're Verted, Vertigo or I'm an Aries. Oh, I'm a. I'm a Taurus.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. An's a Taurus, actually.
Miles
Is she. And so that must be how you select your life partners with the cards. No, by. And you're my life.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I'm a Taurus guy. I'm attracted to a nice old bowl.
Miles
I'm your work husband. Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
You know, you really are so.
Miles
Well, folks, I mean, you never know what you're gonna get here on The Bellied up podcast. That's for go Darn sure.
Patty
Hello, this is Sally.
Charlie Barrons
Hi, Sally. This is Miles and Charlie from the Bellied up podcast.
Patty
Hello.
Miles
How's it going, Sally? You having a good day?
Patty
Yeah, I'm having a great day. How are you guys doing?
Miles
Great.
Charlie Barrons
Bellied up to the bar.
Miles
Yeah. I hear you have got some resolutions you want to chit chat about.
Patty
One of the things I want to accomplish is using chopsticks a little bit more.
Miles
You got chopstick ambition, Sal. You woke up 2024 and you're like, you know what? 2025, that's going to be the year of the chopsticks.
Charlie Barrons
But the thing is.
Patty
That's right.
Charlie Barrons
But it's not even to learn how to use chopsticks. It's just to use them a little bit more.
Patty
You know, actually, I have to learn how to use them in the first place.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, okay.
Patty
And know, I. I found a couple of sets in the. In the junk drawer.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Patty
And that's what really inspired me to say, hey, these are a little dusty. You know, maybe they're under the set of keys that. I don't even know what the hell the keys are for. We got some batteries in here. And like that. I'm like, chopsticks. This, this is. This is good. And. And I want to use them for various foods. Not just Chinese food or sushi, too.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, Korean barbecue.
Patty
I mean, you know, I'm like, they're going to waste here in the junk drawer. Let's get some good chopsticks and learn how to eat them.
Miles
Yeah. I'm very proud of you. I mean, that's not the typical New Year's resolution. We hear what's been. Did you look up a YouTube video on how to properly use chopsticks or did you find a friend?
Patty
No, I just found the chopsticks in my junk drawer.
Miles
That's the whole story here. Huh?
Patty
That, that, that's about it. Now, since then, we've had a lot of leftovers in the fridge, so we haven't ordered Chinese food, so, you know, don't have any soy sauce in the COVID But. But yeah, I'm.
Miles
That's.
Patty
That's one of my New Year's resolutions. And I have all year long. You know, it's not. It's not like I have to use them by January 13th. You know, I. I have them. I. I have them. And that's the first step.
Charlie Barrons
Well, and honestly, the first couple months is all mental work anyways. You know, you got to be. You're Thinking about how you're going to attack it. What's the first food you're going to try with it? I have a very similar New Year's resolution. I want to solve an army Rubik's Cube without any help whatsoever. So in the corner. Yeah, I'm gonna put myself in a room.
Patty
By yourself in the corner.
Charlie Barrons
Yep, yep.
Miles
Wow, that's impressive, Miles. I don't know what's harder to figure out, the chopsticks or a Rubik's cube, because everyone can kind of use chopsticks, but to use them the way they're supposed to be used. I don't even know if I'm using chopsticks.
Charlie Barrons
You want to know what my wife does with chopsticks?
Miles
Does she poke it?
Patty
What does she do?
Charlie Barrons
She. You know how, like, the wood ones come where, like, you break them apart? Yeah, she doesn't break them apart. She just separates them a little bit.
Patty
And just pinches stuff and just pinches it. Oh, that's a cheater.
Charlie Barrons
I know.
Patty
That's a cheater there.
Charlie Barrons
My first is.
Patty
I'm gonna move them. I'm gonna move them from the junk drawer. I've already done this step. I moved him from the junk drawer two sets to the drawer with the spoons and the knives and the forks.
Miles
So you look at them every time you want to eat, every time you're reminded, hey, I got a year to figure out this whole chopstick thing.
Patty
Correct.
Miles
That's very ambitious.
Patty
Do you have wrapped in that. In that. In that paper? So, I mean, they're still clean.
Miles
Take the next step today. Take that paper off.
Charlie Barrons
Hey, don't rush her. Don't rush her.
Miles
I'm not trying to rush her. But for God's sakes, we're months into the year now. It's time to take. It's time to take off the gloves.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
All right, all right.
Charlie Barrons
Little tough love from Barons over here.
Miles
I'm just telling you.
Patty
Wow. You want me to use chopsticks with a glove? Oh, gosh, that's not gonna come till, like, October or November. Is that what I heard you say?
Miles
No, I said take the. Well, yeah, You. You. I. I would like to see you just add a tailgate, wearing gloves, using your chopsticks on some communal food there. That'd be great.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, honestly, this is something that would crush on Tik Tok. You just go, like, day one of attempting to learn how to use chopsticks, and then it's you just fumbling with them and not being able to use them and then by day 40, you got it down, and then people lose their mind on it.
Patty
Here's what would be funny. If you're tailgating and you're wearing the snow gloves and you're at the Green Bay Packer Stadium, you're using drumsticks for chopsticks.
Miles
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would be funny.
Patty
How are you gonna.
Miles
I don't know. No, I. I like it, too. Don't lose faith in that idea. That's a good bit right there. Yeah, you got the big gloves on, you know, the insulated ones, and you got some drumsticks. That's fun. That's good. I like what you're doing there.
Patty
Do you have an idea the hell out of it?
Charlie Barrons
Do you have an idea in your mind the first food you're going to attempt this with, or are you just going to let it happen?
Patty
Well, it's not going to be Cheerios, I'll tell you that much right now.
Charlie Barrons
That was. What I was going to suggest, was Cheerios. Okay, well, that's off my list. What else are you thinking?
Patty
I'm thinking cubes of chicken and some broccoli.
Miles
Yeah, very good. Why do they call it chopstick? You don't really chop with them. You ever think about that with them? You can stab. They could be stabbed. They're really, like. They're. They're. They're holding sticks. Really?
Patty
That's a beginner move. You separate the wooden chopsticks, you stab your chicken. That's not using chopsticks. Chopsticks.
Miles
No, they're not stabbing sticks. But what I'm saying is you're not chopping with the damn sticks either. Right. Like, you're not chopping your broccoli.
Charlie Barrons
You're kind of chopping a little bit.
Miles
Kind of a little bit in my thing. Miles.
Charlie Barrons
More of a pinch.
Miles
Yeah, they're pinch sticks.
Charlie Barrons
They're pinch sticks.
Miles
Yeah. Because chop would mean something gets divided into two. Right.
Charlie Barrons
You think it's like that? They're.
Patty
You're correct.
Charlie Barrons
Do you think it's that they're chops of, like, bamboo?
Miles
Oh, that could be it.
Charlie Barrons
Like, they, like, chop it and then make them into the sticks.
Miles
It's also translated from Chinese or Japanese or. Right. So maybe the. You know, it's probably some. I want to figure out. Hey, can we figure out why they call chopsticks chopsticks? What are you doing on your phone over there?
Charlie Barrons
Texting his girlfriend all day.
Patty
Oh, my gosh.
Charlie Barrons
Who's texting their girlfriend on the job? Yeah, Jake is.
Miles
Jake, how long you been Dating her.
Patty
Oh, God, Jake.
Miles
Say that again.
Charlie Barrons
They come from calling him Chop Chop.
Miles
Like. They come from calling them Chop like. Chop Chop. Cheerio.
Charlie Barrons
He. He's. He's been no help.
Miles
Did you just Google it? Is that what the. The AI on Google says? Cuz that's. All right. Anyway, you keep digging on that.
Charlie Barrons
So you're going with cubes of chicken. All right, I like that.
Patty
Actually, no. Nope, I just changed my mind.
Miles
Okay.
Patty
I'm going with deep fried cheese curds.
Miles
There we go.
Patty
Once I learn how to use chopsticks, my first food, my very first food after practice will be a deep fried cheese curd. Culver's. And I'm gonna dip it.
Miles
Oh, wow. Okay, you're getting crazy vicious. Is this your only New Year's resolution?
Patty
No, I had another one, but I forgot what it was. Oh, I remember.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I remember, too.
Patty
It. I kind of forgot, like, what I call. Because it was like, back in January when I got. I think it was like to not use vacation time or pto.
Charlie Barrons
That's not. What.
Miles
What did she say?
Charlie Barrons
Oh, wait, maybe. Nope. Nope. That's not. You want to learn how to moonwalk, Sally? That was. That was.
Patty
That was the other one. That was the other one.
Willie
Yeah.
Patty
Because I couldn't remember for the life of me when I finally got your text message and I was like, holy smokes. I did call in about two New Year's resolutions, and I remembered the chopstick, and I couldn't remember the first one. I was like, was it not to use pieces or was it to learn how to moonwalk? And then it came to me the other day, and then I second guessed myself. But anyway. Yeah. Yeah, that's my next number two resolution.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I'll refresh your memory. You said that you got a wedding invite. Actually, you got a save the date magnet for your fridge.
Miles
That's overkill.
Charlie Barrons
And you said, holy smokes, I have to learn how to moonwalk, is what he said. And you said, I want to be the cool aunt who can do the moonwalk on the dance floor at the reception.
Patty
Well, there you have it.
Miles
I gotta be honest with you, Sally. If you can both moonwalk and use chopsticks, I mean, you're gonna have a whole different life ahead of you.
Charlie Barrons
And that's a full 20, 25 right there.
Miles
Yeah, New doors will start, start opening up.
Charlie Barrons
If you can laugh, use chopsticks and moonwalk in a day. That's a full day. That's what Jimmy V. Said.
Patty
And I do have my step. My step number one on the moonwalk is I got the Michael Jackson Thriller album, vinyl for my record player.
Miles
All right.
Patty
And so I got that.
Miles
Have you listened to it yet?
Patty
Oh, heck yeah.
Miles
Okay. All right.
Patty
I got a pretty sweet record collection going on right now, and I listen to it. Now. What I also have is a hardwood floor in my kitchen. And that is my surface. I'm looking at the surface and I'm playing Michael Jackson on the record. And I'm just. What I'm doing is you start. You just walk backwards. That's how you start. So you just try that out.
Emily
And.
Patty
Then you get out of your. Then you get on socks and then. Then you walk backwards in socks. And you should build on it.
Miles
You just build on. You just start walking backwards and before you know it, it's walk backwards, question mark, moon landing, smiley face.
Charlie Barrons
I like. I like how much mental prep work you do in this.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Versus just looking at the chopsticks in the paper. Then she's going to open it up and look at the chopsticks raw. Just like that. She puts the record player on. She's just getting a feel for the surface that she's going to be moonwalking on. I like that.
Miles
Looking at the surface. She's got her socks on. You're not rushing the process.
Charlie Barrons
I don't think anyone would accuse you of jumping in head first. I don't think.
Patty
And then when you're looking at the surface, you're thinking, oh my gosh, I should probably Swiffer sweep that before I put on a fresh pair of socks and walk backwards.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, but. But the dust is going to help you slide better. So that's maybe.
Patty
Oh, that's a good point. Good point there.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, if you. It's going to be an immovable object meeting an unstoppable force in 2026, when your new Year's resolution is learn how to dive head first into something into the water. It's gonna be. Just gotta dive head first.
Patty
And don't count your chickens before they're hatched because we don't have any here. We're not talking about 2026, we're talking about 2025 right here in the now. And yeah, that saved the day. I put it on the beer fridge. I should put it on the main fridge.
Miles
Well, you want to remember it. You put it on the beer fridge.
Charlie Barrons
Sally, you're using that way more. One thing, before we move on from the moon walking, you might want to rest your Michael Jackson record for a sec. There's a Drake song where he actually explains how to do the moonwalk in the lyrics.
Patty
What?
Charlie Barrons
You guys remember that?
Miles
No.
Charlie Barrons
Jake, what song is that? No, when Drake tells you how to moonwalk and the song.
Patty
Drake?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. He's like, right foot up, left foot slide. Left foot up, Tootsie slide.
Patty
Oh, I remember that. Fun.
Willie
But I didn't.
Miles
That.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. You didn't realize that he was just explaining how to do the moonwalk.
Patty
No, I did not. Are you guys jonesing me?
Charlie Barrons
I'm not. I realize that.
Miles
I don't think that's how you use Jones. And so right foot up, left foot slide.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, you're literally moonwalking Charlie Shuffle.
Patty
Because I tried that many a times at my aunts niece's weddings. The Cupid Shuffle is not how they explain how to do the. The moonwalk.
Miles
I got news for you. I got news for you. I just.
Charlie Barrons
Charlie just moonwalked with my direction.
Miles
Yep. Actually Drake's direction. But I'm. I'm already beating you on your New Year's resolution, Sally. It's time to get in the game. All right, we're three months into this year. Let's start shaking off the dust, cracking the chopsticks. I'm your motivator here.
Patty
I love that and I love your inspiration, and I love you guys. Listen to you all the time. Charlie, I've met you in real life a few times. I've been to six your shows, Miles. I listen to your podcast. I'm a patron right now, Patreon. Just keep on doing what you're doing. You guys make people laugh. And the world's not a fun place a lot of times, but if we can, you know, listen to you and, you know, love you up and you make everyone laugh. So I don't know. I'm getting corny now, but that's all I have to say about that.
Miles
No, Sally, thank you. Thanks for. That's way too many of my shows for you to come to. My God. Why? Got to get you free tickets at some point.
Patty
No, you don't, because one of them was an accident.
Miles
Oh, yeah.
Patty
Do we have any time? Okay, we do. You can edit this or whatever. So last year I went to see you in Bowler, Wisconsin.
Miles
Yeah, at the casino.
Patty
Got tickets. I asked my husband to buy them for me for a super early birthday present, and he was like, okay. And so by the time I booked my tickets, the casino was out of rooms. And this is such a long story, but I'm going to cut to the chase. How I got. Okay, so we had to, like, book A book, a hotel, like, 40 minutes away. And we weren't going to drink and drive. And the hotel we stayed at had, like. It was, like, owned by Amish people, this, that, and the other. And I'm just not going to get into it too much. But so when. Okay, I could go on and on about this story with, like, the most craziest night of all. But the reason I. Part of the crazy part is I got to see you twice that night because I got tickets for the 10:30 show, and we went to go get merchandise before that show. No, I got tickets for the 6:30 show. And anyway, so we got. We went to see the 6:30 show, and it was great, and we had great seats, got some merch, blah, blah, blah. I'm walking out of. Out of the venue into the casino, and this lady grabs me by the hand from behind the wrist. And she's like, 60. Older lady. And turns out her name is Brenda. And she's like, hi. Me and my wife bought tickets for this show and for the 10:30 show, but my wife is too drunk to go to the 10:30 show, so I put her in bed. Will you come to the 10:30 show? It just grabs me out of the blue, you know, and my husband is a few steps forward, and, you know, he stops. He turns around. He's usually talking to this nice older lady, not hearing the conversation. So I'm like. I'm like, okay. And she gives me the ticket, and she's like, left me back here. And she's drunk.
Miles
Sounds like it.
Patty
Okay. And I'm like, okay. So I go back to Sean, and I'm like, you'll never guess what. This really nice lesbian gave me a ticket to the 10:30 show. He's like, are you sitting me? I'm like, no, here's a ticket. All right. So we go. Campbell. In the meanwhile of gambling before the 10:30 show, I see. Are you sitting down? I picture Charlie standing up. I see Miles sitting down right now.
Miles
I was standing up. I sat down right before you said that, though.
Patty
I see Grandma Sue.
Miles
Oh, you saw my grandma in the.
Patty
Casino with her beautiful white hair and a little team of people around her. And I'm like, are you kidding? I'm trying to find my husband because he wandered into the casino not knowing that I got a free ticket. And on the. On the way to find my husband, I see Grandma Stool, and she has a little people team of people around her. And, you know, and I wasn't. I wasn't sneaking. I wasn't Anything. But I'm like, that is Grandma Su.
Charlie Barrons
Your grandma's got a posse.
Miles
She was.
Charlie Barrons
She's got a whole team.
Miles
My grandma was gambling up a storm that night. She won $1,800. I think. I think that was the night after she lost all her money. But you found her there, and then what happened?
Willie
I didn't say a word.
Patty
I didn't say a word. But I. I saw the posse as. As we said. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, kind of like keeping my distance. I'm like, oh, she is. Oh, my gosh. I love her so much. I've seen her in so many pot, you know, and I was never going to say anything, but she found her slap the sheen and sat down, and I walked behind, and I was looking, but I wasn't looking, and it wasn't creeping, but I was creeping, but, you know, and I just walked. I'm like, oh, my gosh. My night is 100% fulfilled.
Miles
You were stalking my grandma. And.
Charlie Barrons
And so instead of going to the 10:30 show, you watched Picasso paint at the slot machine, and she just put on a Show and won 18. $1800 in front of you?
Patty
No, I didn't watch her. I was on my way to find my husband to let him know I got a free ticket to the 10:30 show, and I saw Grandma sue on the way.
Miles
She didn't say hi or nothing.
Patty
Okay, so it's not over yet. So I get to the 10:30 show, and Brenda is waiting there for me. It's right like we said, she's even drunker now. And we walk into the 10:30 show, and her seats were better than mine. I mean, there's not a bad seat in the house. Her seats were better than mine at the 10:30 show. So I'm, like, talking to her, and I'm. And she's. I'm trying to talk to her and stuff, and, you know, I'm just like, oh, my God, Charlie's so close, and all this is so great. And I look over at one time, and Brenda is tipped back. Her neck is tipped back, and her mom mouth is a game, and Brenda's snoring, and I'm like, jesus Christ, Brenda. I'm thinking to myself, I am your second date because your first wife is, like, too drunk to attend this show, and you're staying in the casino. Like, the panther is back.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Jesus Christ, Brenda.
Miles
Oh, So I put her to sleep. I put Brenda to sleep. Huh?
Patty
She. No, it wasn't you. It must have been The Charlie Baron Brandy.
Miles
I don't know. Oh, my God, that's hilarious.
Patty
Okay, so then I gotta get Brenda back to cindy in room 506.
Charlie Barrons
So what, you, fireman carried her through the casino or what?
Patty
I just left after.
Miles
You laugh.
Charlie Barrons
You just left?
Patty
No, I stayed for the whole show, but of course it was going to. But then it was like, okay, how am I gonna get Brenda back to Cindy, her wife that was too drunk from the for show?
Miles
What?
Patty
I got her back to.
Miles
Oh, go ahead, say it.
Charlie Barrons
Could. It could have been. It could have been a Weekend at Bernie situation. You could have put some sunglasses on.
Miles
Her and put her at the door.
Patty
Yeah, so I didn't know what her room number was and her name, and so I kind of, like, wake her up, and she kind. I take her by the hand, you know, my. My wife d. Get her back to room 506. We're banging on the door. Cindy opens it up.
Charlie Barrons
You guys are banging on the door.
Miles
Wasn't me.
Patty
I. I had to be responsible. I mean, Jesus Christ, she gave me a free ticket to the Charlie Be show. It's like, you know, pass it on kindness kind of a thing. Get her back to the freaking hotel room that her wife is at, and she answers the door. Now she's drunk again. I'm like, can you just. You just take her?
Willie
I just.
Patty
Here you go. All right. So then I got back down at the casino, found my husband, and I didn't even tell you about the. About the ride. The ride from this awful hotel that we were at was like 40 minutes long. Hubby couldn't find an Uber in Bowler, Wisconsin to get us to the casino in the first place. It was like a 30, 40 minute ride. So he finally finds some people that are not Uber, but they do kind of taxi cab, but they weren't that night of Charlie's shows.
Miles
And how are you talking.
Patty
He finally. He finally finds one, and they Uber us back, back and forth to the casino. And their cab smelled like the devil's lettuce like you wouldn't believe. Like they had gone to the farmer's market and beyond. So we hop into Uber in Bowler, Wisconsin for like, 40 bucks to get us to the casino in the first place to see Charlie. My husband's like, oh, I just don't. I don't. The devil's asparagus. I just don't. You know, I'm like, okay. You know, we're at the farm, and I'm like, they're getting us there safely. Okay. They agree to pick Us up on the way back. So after I bring Brenda to Cindy, I find my husband back in the casino. I'm like, okay, let's call that Uber people, whatever. To get back to the hotel. And he said, okay. And so we hop in the car, they showed up, and lo and behold, they had been grocery shopping again at the farmers market. And so next thing to get back the hotel, and my husband is. Has passed out on the window with his cheek like this and his mouth is like this. Once again, I was like, thank you for the safe ride. And I have to, like, help slap.
Willie
Him across the face and get him.
Patty
In the hotel room that night. It's like my job wasn't done.
Miles
So anyway, it was a great night. Yeah, sound. Sounds like it. My gosh. Think your husband got a little contact high there on the way back. Well, thanks for coming to see the show. Twice. My God, six times. Six times. But twice that night.
Patty
One of them was in Sheboygan.
Miles
Really? Oh, yeah. At the Weil center, huh?
Patty
Yep. And that one not break. I did bring a Charlie Baron's virgin. She drove in from Beaver Dam to see your show with me and she. Yep, that's my best friend.
Charlie Barrons
I didn't know that's what they called them. I lost my Charlie Barron's virginity in. Was it 2022 maybe when we first met?
Miles
Yeah, 2019.
Charlie Barrons
I didn't see a show for a couple years.
Miles
Oh, when you saw the show?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, that's what a Charlie Baron's virgin is.
Miles
Yeah. I thought you meant when we met. Miles did time on my show. Tell Miles he should do stand up.
Patty
I want to tell Miles so bad that he wants to do that he should do stand up.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I would go.
Patty
See, I listen to the you betcha radio all the time.
Charlie Barrons
Well, I appreciate it.
Patty
And you're so damn funny. You're so great. And impromptu, both of you choose that if you feel comfortable with it, you know, Keep on making the world laugh, man.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I like to spend too much time at home to be stand up comedy median.
Patty
Yeah, well, you kind of have a different life now, and that's a good thing too, you know?
Miles
Yeah, yeah, it's a good thing too, Miles.
Patty
All right.
Charlie Barrons
I just.
Willie
Well, we better slap the knee.
Patty
Unless you guys want to go on. I mean, I got time. I took PTO this afternoon just to race home and talk to you guys.
Miles
So much for that resolution. Oh.
Patty
I went. I went way better on that.
Charlie Barrons
So also, I like. I like. You call in, you say your New Year's resolutions and Then we're like, what was that second New Year's resolution? She's like, oh, yeah, I remember. It was something that you didn't say at all. You're just bullshitting us this whole time.
Miles
Did you ever do. Effectively do a New Year's resolution, Sally?
Patty
Yes, actually, I resoluted to put chapstick on more often. Yep, yep. And also, also, this is a really bad one, but this is one I absolutely stick to, is to not litter out of my car window. You and that. That one came. Oh back in Frick 2012. So I stuck to that one.
Miles
Congratulations, McDonald's.
Charlie Barrons
What were you doing in 2011? You were just launching garbage out the window.
Patty
Well, that was before self recycling was cool. I like, you know what? I'm gonna do that my New Year's resi. New Year's resi.
Charlie Barrons
Well, I like how all our resolutions are just like. It's either like something that normal people just do all the time, or it's like, yeah, my New year's resolution for 2025 is just to not commit any crimes. If I can just stay out of jail, it's gonna be a good year.
Patty
Or like, no, my New year's resolution for 2025 is to collect. Collect more magnets. Like I really need to do that.
Charlie Barrons
Just stuff doesn't stay on her fridge, you know, she tries to put stuff up there. Just doesn't have enough magnets.
Miles
Well, Sally, listen, this has been a lot of fun. Thank you for. Thank you for enlightening us.
Patty
Well, you're welcome. Really glad talking to you guys. Hey, Charlie. Yeah, not too bad. Not too big or anything, but I am done with my very first bottle of Charlie Barron's brandy.
Miles
Oh, you want another bottle?
Patty
Hubby brought it home for Valentine's Day. My first bottle ever. It wasn't at the normal discount liquor store that I go to, but he found it at festival here in Sheboygan and he brought Valentine's Day with flowers. And I was like, I am putting this in the booth cabinet and I'm not gonna touch it.
Charlie Barrons
You drank a bottle of Baron's Brandy in five days.
Patty
It is delicious. It is so delicious. And I have this teeny tiny glass that says, oh, oh. And so that's how I taste tested it. So we were. And then there's Valentine's Day and they there you guys.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, what is that all about?
Patty
I would love an autographed bottle of. Of Carly Barron's brandy.
Miles
Hey, you been to six shows?
Patty
I mean, I don't have George. I don't have George Clooney autographed Tequila. Like, Milestone.
Charlie Barrons
So, I mean, what. What was I supposed to do? That's all I had on me when I ran into Clooney. Was it the tequila bottle? And it's. Why. Yeah, I felt bad that his friend was standing there not signing the bottle, so I had him sign it, too.
Miles
Well, Sally, we're going to get your address. We're going to send you an autographed bottle of that brandy. All right?
Patty
Awesome. I'll keep it forever. Thanks, guys.
Miles
All right, let it last more than five days this time.
Patty
I'll try next New Year's resolution 2020.
Charlie Barrons
Make a makeup bottle of brandy lasts six days.
Miles
Thank you, Sally. We appreciate you.
Patty
Yeah, you too.
Miles
Touch for deer.
Charlie Barrons
I have so many things to say. Number one, you gotta use. You gotta have her record your intro to you going on stage.
Miles
I don't think I'd ever get on stage.
Charlie Barrons
No, no, I. I mean, how Midwest her accent.
Miles
Oh, my God.
Charlie Barrons
Pto. It was just. It was.
Miles
It was butter.
Charlie Barrons
It was perfect.
Miles
Yeah, she's great, you know.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, hey there, folks. Charlie. Barbara.
Miles
I love how when she was talking about that casino, she said three times she was just gonna give us the short version of that.
Charlie Barrons
She.
Miles
She spent more.
Charlie Barrons
Anytime someone says, I'll just do the short version, you know, it's not going to be the short version. So I buckled in.
Miles
Yeah, you sure did. Wow.
Charlie Barrons
Well, Miles, if we had more time, I would have definitely asked her about that Amish hotel and what was going.
Miles
On there, but we should have.
Charlie Barrons
But there was so much other stuff to process.
Miles
Thought she was getting a horse and buggy ride to the casino, the way she was talking about it.
Charlie Barrons
Instead, she got a horse and buddy.
Miles
Oh, marijuana.
Willie
You are talking to Emily and Braylon.
Charlie Barrons
Emily and Braylon. Well, why don't you belly up to the bar? What do you got in your mind today?
Willie
Well, we are actually in a rehab, and we were just taking suggestions for recreational activities.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, hold on.
Miles
Back up the truck. Back up the ATV here.
Charlie Barrons
Who.
Miles
Who.
Charlie Barrons
Who is we? You said we are in rehab. Why are you in rehab? What kind of rehab are we talking?
Miles
Emily and Braylon? Yeah, we got a twofer here. A bogo. Buy one, get one.
Charlie Barrons
I thought that Braylon was the town she was in.
Miles
I thought so, too.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so we're talking to two gals in rehab.
Miles
Did you meet in rehab or go there together on the same corridor?
Willie
Yeah, we. We. We did end up meeting here. So.
Charlie Barrons
They say that that's one of the steps to Rehab, Charlie, is finding a mate to help you along the way.
Miles
That's true. You need a support system. It's good you guys found each other.
Charlie Barrons
So what ended up. How'd you guys land in rehab?
Miles
Let's bring up the past, okay?
Willie
This is Emily's speaking. I am in rehab for alcohol and me being brayan, I am here in rehab for fentanyl.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
All right. Not messing around.
Charlie Barrons
So we're getting, we're, we're getting both ends of the spectrum here, Charlie.
Miles
How's rehab going so far? Give us the update.
Willie
It's actually, it's going really good. The first week is the hardest week, but now that we're couple weeks in, I mean, shit's actually starting to go smooth, so.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so it's. After a few weeks, rehab is basically just like summer camp or what?
Willie
Yeah, something like that, yeah.
Miles
Okay, good.
Willie
But we're running. We're running out of activities and I'm the recreational leader and I have to come up with activities to do for all 45 patients to enjoy.
Miles
Oh, okay. Have you started cigarettes yet?
Willie
Oh, yes. I didn't smoke cigarettes for getting here, but that's a habit you pick up real quick.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, actually, I didn't know that.
Miles
It's like a staple of aa. Everyone drinks coffee and smokes cigarettes.
Willie
That is one of the top recreational activities here.
Miles
Well, let's see here. What can we put on top of the cigarettes? What can really increase that buzz? So running is out of the mix there. Where is the rehab?
Willie
It is.
Miles
Where is the rehab facility?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, if they go running, Charlie, the people are going to think they're trying to escape.
Miles
Yeah, that's true.
Charlie Barrons
And then they're going to chase them down with a net.
Willie
They put up fences.
Miles
Oh, you guys got.
Willie
Nobody can go for a run.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, so you guys are in one of those high security rehabs.
Willie
It's. It's a glorified jail.
Miles
We prefer to call it like a deer farm, you know?
Willie
Yes, yes, if you will.
Miles
So do you have a lot of outdoor space you can kind of play with here, or is it mostly indoor activities you're looking for?
Willie
Oh, yeah, there is quite a bit of outdoor space. We have a smoking side and a non smoking side. But as you can imagine, nobody really goes to the non smoking side.
Charlie Barrons
All right, so I did not know that about rehab. I'm glad you called in. I now, I now have a talking point with someone who just got out of rehab at the bar, you know?
Miles
Do you guys have bags set up there?
Willie
Yes, we do have that, but nobody really plays it because one of the boards is broken.
Miles
All right.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. Well, there's first activity.
Miles
Wood shop.
Charlie Barrons
Yes, yes, Wood shop.
Willie
That's a good one.
Charlie Barrons
You guys could make bag board sets.
Willie
We're not allowed to have any. Anything that can possibly kill somebody.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. So no power tools or screwdrivers even.
Willie
I guess, Charlie, as you can imagine, tensions run high.
Charlie Barrons
So what do you guys do? I suppose you guys don't have steak for dinner ever. It'd be tough otherwise.
Willie
You're just maybe steak the other day.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so just a lot of plastic silverware.
Willie
Yes, very much myself.
Charlie Barrons
That's tough. You guys could o. Charlie, you might like this one.
Miles
What?
Charlie Barrons
You guys could do improv night.
Miles
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's great.
Willie
Oh, that was a great idea.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, you guys can roll.
Willie
Really good idea.
Charlie Barrons
You can role play. Me and Charlie will give you an example here.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
All right, so Charlie and I, we're walking down the road and this is the role play. Hey, Charlie, you just got out of rehab, right?
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Do you want some fentanyl?
Miles
Oh, no, Miles.
Charlie Barrons
There we go. You passed the test, Charlie.
Miles
See, it's that much fun.
Charlie Barrons
Not only is it fun to do improv, you guys can do life lessons within it and. And really test the waters on your guys. Skills that you're learning.
Miles
Yeah. You can express yourself.
Willie
That accountability.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, because I know. Because I know one thing about people who are in rehabilitation is they love to talk about the devices that got them in rehabilitation. Right, Charles?
Miles
Yeah, that was our first question. We found that out.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, that was. Sorry about that.
Miles
Yes, that was rude in retrospect.
Willie
Gotta embrace it.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I suppose.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
So we got improv, we got workshop. What else?
Miles
Charlie, have you guys ever. Can you do leather working? You know?
Willie
Leather working?
Miles
Yeah. Can you learn how to work, make some wallets or something for the four people that still have wallet?
Charlie Barrons
You guys should do a Etsy shop.
Miles
Yeah, you guys can start your new business right now.
Charlie Barrons
And you got a great people. People are a sucker for rehabilitation story too. You just put that front on the website and just say, we're all recovering and this is our way to cope. And you guys are gonna sell wallets like crazy easy.
Miles
Or handbags. You can call them rehab bags. You know, rb.
Willie
That's a good selling line.
Miles
Yeah, Coco Chanel should watch out. What if you guys become the next, like, coach? Or is coach the cheap one?
Willie
Yeah, and I mean, we already, all of us here pretty much learned how to make bracelets of every kind of any style. You can think of. So yeah, we could start with that and move on to purses and wallets.
Miles
Yeah, that's really cool.
Charlie Barrons
That could be good.
Miles
Yeah.
Willie
There is one problem with recreation on Sundays is we all fight over which game we're gonna watch.
Miles
Oh, the game. Yeah. I'm. Well, I feel like I'm. I mean, I'm not at rehab. I'm at a bar. Close second. But yeah, we are also fighting about the game here.
Charlie Barrons
Also now to think about Charlie, you should probably stop calling into podcast name bellied up to the bar. It could be a part of your.
Miles
Rehab, could be frowned upon. Well, they're in there.
Willie
I've watched you guys on. I've watched you guys forever. Okay, well, so rehab isn't going to stop me.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. I like.
Miles
Thank you. Thank you.
Charlie Barrons
Do they ever make you pull landscaping duty at rehab?
Willie
We actually just cleaned out and pulled leads in the volleyball court.
Miles
Really? So is this a rehab that you pay to go to or you. That you like are sort of have.
Charlie Barrons
State.
Miles
State warrant. Yeah. What's the funding system there?
Willie
Well, you pay for it, but insurance covers a lot of it.
Miles
Pay for it. Insurance covers it, but they do. They make you do the. The labor. How does that work?
Willie
No, we just did it because we were bored and we didn't have anything else to do, so we started pulling weeds.
Miles
Oh, start. Start a community garden.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, that could be good.
Willie
Yeah. Oh, that's a really good idea.
Miles
Yeah.
Willie
And then even like do like fruits and vegetables.
Charlie Barrons
Fruits.
Miles
Vegetables. Hemp. The.
Charlie Barrons
Well, hemp, Charlie.
Miles
Hemp can work. Hemp is non. There's no chemicals, carcinogens. I didn't say. I didn't say marijuana. I said hemp.
Charlie Barrons
Well, you guys start growing hemp.
Miles
They can grow tobacco though, for. And then you guys can learn how to roll your own cigarettes.
Charlie Barrons
That is. Is true. Yeah.
Willie
Then we won't have to spend $10 for a pack of cigarettes every two days.
Miles
Jesus. Every two days?
Charlie Barrons
You're worried about that? Then that's a half a pack.
Willie
Sometimes it's a. Sometimes it's a pack a day. So that's how many breaks you get throughout the day.
Miles
Yeah. Are. Are people smoking more acoustic cigarettes? Are they going on the vape train?
Willie
The base train?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the dress code like in rehab?
Willie
No bellies, no butt cracks, no shoulders.
Miles
No shoulders. Is this a Mormon rehab? The hell's going in Utah?
Willie
Kind of feels like it. Yeah, it kind of feels like it.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
Oh, sorry. Are there rehab hookups?
Charlie Barrons
That's all I was Gonna say, what's the dating scene like in rehab?
Willie
Personally, I'm actually on a behavioral contract because they don't encourage fraternization, and I accidentally, unintentionally, intentionally partook in fratizing.
Miles
Wow. Wow. Back that fraternization.
Charlie Barrons
Someone talked to their lawyer, Charlie.
Miles
Yeah, Unintentionally, slash intentionally. What happened?
Willie
We. We were making out in the kitchen.
Miles
How is that unintentional? You were on what, dude?
Willie
Well, we have chores.
Patty
We.
Willie
We get chores. And so we were on dish duty. It just happened.
Charlie Barrons
Let's just say they got down in dish dirty in the kitchen. Charles, was it just making out or were there any hand stuff involved?
Willie
No. Oh, my gosh, no. Only making out.
Miles
Okay, how long. How long were you guys on dish duty together before you started swapping? Swapping the old saliva tonsil hockey? Yeah.
Willie
Two days.
Miles
Two days. What's his name? Not. Not last name. Just.
Willie
His name is Miles.
Miles
Oh, Miles. Yeah. She's going with a fake name. She's going with.
Charlie Barrons
It's good.
Miles
What'd you like about it? Oh, it's really.
Willie
This is Emily. It's actually. It's actually not a fake name. That's real life.
Miles
That's. So what. What attracted you to him? Was he just, like, a really good scrubber? Like, see them forearms, those veins popping?
Willie
He' down and dirty with those dishes. Army. Okay.
Charlie Barrons
I imagine it started, like, the flirting started when he was spraying the dishes and then just turned the hose towards her and sprayed her a little bit.
Miles
Yeah. Next thing you know, get a little wet shoulder contest.
Willie
Oh, yeah, yeah, something like that.
Miles
Who made the first move?
Willie
Actually, he did.
Miles
What? How'd he do it?
Willie
Really intense eye contact. And then one thing to another.
Miles
Miles is doing an improv act out of your first day, and I'm starting to get turned on. So please, Miles. Miles, if you don't want this to end up the same way, we better hear the end of this story.
Charlie Barrons
So now that it's forbidden, do you want him even harder now?
Willie
Yeah.
Miles
Yeah.
Willie
Isn't that crazy how that works? When you're not allowed to do something, you want to do it even more.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, that's how you guys ended up there.
Willie
Yeah, exactly.
Miles
Did they catch you making out?
Willie
Somebody did. I don't know who. I think it was one of the kitchen staff.
Miles
One of the rats. Huh. So. So you're making. You're making out in the kitchen, you get ratted out, and now are you guys separated?
Willie
Yeah, they. They transferred him. They were going to transfer me too, but I begged for a behavioral contract. I was like, look, I didn't even get a warrant.
Miles
That's intense. Do you have any contact with him? There's no. I mean, this is a love. Write a country song about this. I met him in rehab over by the dishes.
Charlie Barrons
They said we couldn't be calling us.
Miles
Mrs. Yeah, something like that.
Willie
Oh, my God. Yeah, there's a song in the works.
Miles
We.
Willie
We'll see it for you next time we call in.
Charlie Barrons
Is this a. Is this like the movie Grease situation where. Where you guys are just hanging out for the summer or, like, you really like this guy or is it just a summer fling?
Miles
Rehab lovers having so fun.
Willie
And Nana, I. I do really like him, but I. You can't put all of your eggs in one basket, you know, That's.
Miles
Oh, she's playing. She's playing the. The field outside the rehab facility.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. What's the other guy you got your eye on at rehab? I know. Know that now that Miles is gone. Who's next up?
Willie
Oh, man. How did you know? Oh, my gosh. His name is Wyatt.
Charlie Barrons
Wyatt.
Miles
Damn. That was the name I was gonna pick right there. Wyatt. Tell us about Wyatt. What's he in for?
Willie
He actually has the same drug of choice, so he's in for fentanyl.
Miles
Oh, well, you guys have a lot in common.
Willie
Yeah, I know, right? It's a good starting conversation.
Miles
Yeah, you guys can be a good support system for each other. What do you like more about Wyatt than you do Miles?
Willie
That he's more genuine. I feel like Miles was kind of just, you know, like, he didn't really. He was just into the flirting and the acting of flirting, and Wyatt's actually genuine, has genuine conversations with me. Oh, any.
Miles
Calls me beautiful. So beautiful.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, beautiful.
Miles
Yeah. Well, it sounds like Miles is just in the rear view mirror now, and it's all about Wyatt. So how are you flirting with Wyatt knowing you can't, you know? Do you think Wyatt.
Charlie Barrons
You're on a behavioral contract?
Miles
Yeah. Are you slipping them notes?
Willie
Well, that's how it started. And then I got my phone back. You get your phone back after a week, and so now we just text, and then we still have the intense eye contact, but it's just texting conversation.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so you're just. You guys are just sending photos back and forth.
Willie
Essentially.
Charlie Barrons
Dude, hey, rehab is crazy.
Miles
It's. I mean, no, it's like. It's like a retirement home in there.
Willie
Just hormones and everything. Is a retirement home.
Miles
Does the staff suspect that you and Wyatt are trading ugly bumpies over the text messaging?
Willie
Not to my knowledge. I mean, I feel like I'm a.
Charlie Barrons
Lot more discreet now, so. Emily, right? Emily. You Are. You. You don't got any love interests in rehab?
Miles
No.
Willie
No.
Miles
That was a hesitant no. Is it? Wyatt, you can tell us.
Willie
No.
Miles
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
All right.
Miles
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
We'll leave it at that.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
Emily's mad because she.
Willie
No, I just got out of a very long relationship and it ended very messy.
Miles
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. Give it some time. Give it. Well, we gotta. We gotta talk to Emily. Emily. You're the one that called in, right? About the recreational activities. And here we are just talking about Charlie.
Charlie Barrons
I still just have so many questions.
Miles
Okay, keep going.
Charlie Barrons
I know, it's just my head is spinning.
Miles
Well, give us one Miles. That's fine.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Are. Is the staff nice to you there, or are they kind of hard asses?
Willie
Depends on the day.
Charlie Barrons
What would make them get really mad at you besides making out in the dishwashing area?
Willie
For me, it's always being late.
Miles
Where are you going?
Willie
Because I. Well, I just have to walk from my room to the. To the lecture hall, but for some odd reason, I'm always late because I just. That's just who I am. And so I always make the excuse of, I'm sorry, I hit a deer on the way here. And they don't find that funny?
Miles
I find it very funny. Emily.
Charlie Barrons
You know what? You're not late. You just have time blindness. Try that one next.
Miles
You know, it's like I'm time blind.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, it's a. It's a medical condition. I have time blindness, so you can't be mad at me for showing up late. What are they gonna do exactly?
Willie
Well, they can make me stay here longer.
Miles
Oh, they can. Oh, so you gotta. That's the leverage. I was wondering what the leverage was. How long are you in for?
Willie
Yeah, I'm in here until the end of this month.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so I only got a couple weeks left.
Patty
Yep.
Charlie Barrons
Is there, you know, is there people that have been there, you know, three, four, five times? You know, like, have they done a few tours of rehab now? Are they kind of the.
Willie
Oh, yeah, this is actually my second time.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, so is it like. Is there respect in the rehab community of someone who's been there multiple times to where, like, they kind of have a. Like, they know the ropes? Yeah, they got a crew that they lead. You know, is it like that basically.
Willie
The people that have been here before just kind of takes the lead, if that makes sense. Yeah, kind of like Kind of like the team captain, if that.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, Rehab team captain. Put that on a resume, actually.
Miles
Yeah, that is perfect. Yeah. Well, I. I think that, you know, we've got like the. The gardening that could be the non hemp gardening and you know, the woodworking. If we could have some tools that didn't involve life threatening conditions, that would be good. God, I'm trying to think what else?
Charlie Barrons
I think we did a good job, Charlie. Okay, I got some good. They can't do it all at once. Start with those and go from there.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
How's that sound?
Willie
We actually. We actually had a fire drill the other day and my counselors didn't think I was too funny, but I shouted out. I was like, well, we're all outside, no gates. Why don't we all just run? Because they can't catch all of us. They didn't find that very funny.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, you.
Miles
Hey, smart.
Charlie Barrons
You don't have to be the fastest one running away. You just can't be the slowest.
Miles
That's true.
Willie
Yep.
Charlie Barrons
It's tough.
Willie
There was a. There's a. There's a milo field right across the way. And I was just like, everybody's head in there. Stay as low as you possibly can. Nobody will see you.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, smart. Running high. Don't just run a long ways because you guys all got smokers lungs anyways. You ain't getting far before you're keeled over.
Willie
Exactly.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Willie
So you gotta think smarter.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in today. Stay strong in there. You're almost done. And, you know, if you need a sponsor.
Willie
This is actually my second time. This is my second time talking to you guys, and I don't think I made the actual. Actual video last time that was posted on Facebook. So hopefully this one makes the cut.
Miles
Wait, why?
Charlie Barrons
I think it's gonna.
Miles
What are we talking about? The last time?
Willie
The last time, I was asking for relationship advice and we talked about going. I said that I'm a football fan, Chief span. And we talked about how a first date would be a Chiefs game.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that.
Miles
Did that not make the cut? Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Jared, are you.
Miles
Are you bullshitting? No, I'm. Right now.
Charlie Barrons
No, I do remember that. You might not have made a clip, but I think it's at the.
Miles
It's on the. It's on the podcast. I'm not.
Willie
Well, I didn't see it on Facebook.
Miles
Well, this. This I think will make a video cut out of. So, yeah, don't you worry about that. All right, all right, all right. Well, congratulations. Yeah, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And we'll drink one for you, all right.
Willie
Yeah. Order a Coors light. Drink it for me.
Miles
All right? You got it. Good work. You guys enjoy rehab and we'll talk to you soon.
Charlie Barrons
We'll see you on the other side.
Patty
Okay?
Willie
All right.
Charlie Barrons
Right.
Miles
Good gals.
Charlie Barrons
That was gals again. It's just like that's a world that no one ever talks about. You know, I. I like that they made rehab not such as a sensitive subject. No, you know, cuz you don't know what goes on in there.
Miles
Oh, summer camp, hookups, the whole deal. I mean, it's like a TLC show in there.
Charlie Barrons
So, guys, we got Amanda, the Wild Rice bar and Grill bar bartender here. Now, what I like about you is literally yesterday we were just discussing that a good small town bar has got a sassy bartender. I think that's you here.
Amanda
Honestly, I'm probably the mild one.
Charlie Barrons
You are?
Amanda
Absolutely. My sister Brie and her best friend Des are definitely worse, but by far, like you will probably leave offended. And they're okay with that?
Charlie Barrons
Well, that's part of the small town bar experience.
Miles
Who got who the job here?
Amanda
Who actually. So my sister's best friend started working here a little bit over a year ago, and then my sister did, and I come down to Morehead during the summer and my kids are out of school because they're really bored up by Canada. And so I picked up some hours to work over the summer.
Charlie Barrons
Here we are.
Amanda
I love it.
Charlie Barrons
So you said that the polka is.
Amanda
Called coming in here at 3:00 today, 12 minutes.
Charlie Barrons
The poker squad's gonna get here.
Amanda
I'm just telling you, it's a party. I'm getting ranches ready. You never know what's.
Charlie Barrons
That is true. What's. What does the poker crowd usually look like?
Amanda
Exactly what you would think. They average ages 82.
Charlie Barrons
All right, so there's a bus from the nursing home getting dropped off.
Miles
What do they like to drink?
Amanda
Drink things that I don't serve. A lot of old fashions. I have to say no to that because I don't muddle things.
Miles
Oh, you're not modeling at all here.
Amanda
I'm not muddling.
Miles
You got brandy though?
Amanda
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, well, do you do North Dakota old fashioned? It's just basically just brandy.
Amanda
I was gonna say I've seen at other establishments that they just do the brandy and the ice and just throw the cherry and the orange in it. They don't really.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Amanda
Do much else, but I feel like that's not doing old Fashioned justice, so.
Charlie Barrons
And he's the old fashioned guy.
Amanda
If I can't do it justice, I really shouldn't put it in a cup.
Miles
I. I honor the fact that you have that much dignity when it comes to. If I'm not going to make it right, I'm not going to make it all. But you're also like, ah, I'm still not going to make it at all.
Amanda
And I don't even have the right equipment, so it be. It would be an injustice to the drink.
Charlie Barrons
That is true.
Amanda
It's the same thing with, like, food, though. Like when you guys were ordering earlier. Like, I'm not going to.
Miles
Oh, you said the tot suck. Yeah.
Amanda
Get the fries, get the ranch.
Miles
Get.
Amanda
I'll let you know. Know anything you want.
Charlie Barrons
Tater tots not so good, right?
Amanda
Not when you have those delicious fries to choose from.
Charlie Barrons
That's true.
Amanda
You know.
Charlie Barrons
Well, so we like to say in this podcast that the best Midwest therapist is your bartender. So I think on this one, we should ask her for some advice instead of the other way around. Charlie, what do you think?
Miles
That's pretty good.
Charlie Barrons
You're looking for some advice on anything.
Miles
Well, let's start with you, actually.
Charlie Barrons
No, you go ahead.
Miles
Oh, my gosh. Okay. All right, so let's see here. I gotta think of mine. I. I'm.
Charlie Barrons
All right. Well, so as you know, I'm getting older, right? As we all are starting to develop waking up with just random body pain, you know, like a shoulder will just be sore or lower back pain.
Miles
Yep.
Charlie Barrons
What's the best remedy on how to handle getting older and having everything start to hurt?
Amanda
Literally get up and power through it.
Charlie Barrons
Like, don't be a w. Yes.
Miles
Yep.
Amanda
Just take your hits and keep on going. March forward. Just keep going.
Charlie Barrons
Is that why you see a lot of older folk here at the bar is that the liquor kind of tends to heal the pain a little bit?
Amanda
Definitely.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. There we go. Joint juice is what we call it now.
Miles
Do you think you're feeling it more because you got that personal trainer, you know?
Charlie Barrons
Well, that when I found. When I'm not doing that, then that'll. Because I'm not stretching and stuff. But it's still some days you just wake up, you didn't do anything the day before, and you just hurt everywhere. Yeah, you know.
Amanda
Yeah, I just ignore it and move on.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. All right.
Amanda
Literally just power right through that.
Charlie Barrons
You stuff to carry it deep down and never bring it back up.
Amanda
I'll leave. And ibuprofen go a long way.
Charlie Barrons
I think yeah, sometimes both.
Amanda
Yeah. And of beer.
Miles
I mean, little beer. Yeah, that's. That'll. That'll ease the pain, that helps the al activate.
Amanda
Sometimes it's severe. Good keg stand will help that out.
Charlie Barrons
Keg stand.
Amanda
I'm just saying.
Charlie Barrons
Do you guys do keg stands at this bar?
Amanda
We do horseshoes and bean bag tournaments and keg stands. I mean, literally, let's lawn mow, race it out.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
All right.
Amanda
Charlie's a pro. I don't think he should be able to play cuz he did do that professionally when he mowed the law. I feel like that's an amateur league.
Charlie Barrons
Is what you're saying. Amateur smart.
Miles
All right, my question is, let's say that there is a person you are interested in three bar stools down. Okay. And you're sitting here drinking by yourself. They're over there drinking with friends.
Amanda
Okay.
Miles
Okay. What is the in to say? I like this one of the three.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
You know, because you don't want to.
Amanda
Buy just one drink.
Miles
You got to buy them all drinks.
Amanda
That's true.
Miles
Buy them around. So if they're sitting over there chitchatting and you kind of like one of them, you buy them all drinks. But now how do they know which one? You have to go over there and just have the conversation. Or do you even have a conversation? Is it weird?
Amanda
No. This is where you use your own advice, guys. Trust your, your, your bartender therapist. And you say, hey, Amanda. So the one on the third is the one that I, I'm really, I'm kind of into and like to maybe get to know a little bit better. And I. And you say, I'm going to buy. I want to buy them around, but. And I make direct eye contact with the one that you bought the round four and say. I say with my body language, the gentleman over there bought you. Okay, around.
Miles
And then I do this.
Amanda
And then I do this, ladies.
Miles
Oh, wow. So use the bar. And then, of course, that's a big tip. Commit there.
Amanda
Communicate that well. And it really, like, it's fun for us to help each other out. Like, literally. It's so much fun to be in a bar where, you know, over there, I call the nursery because that's where all my babies sit that are like, people think are 12. When they come in, I'm like, I swear I've carted them. And their parents come in here all the time. And then over here you have people that have so much money they don't know what to do with. And to see them interact without Knowing who each other are or what they come from or any of that. It's amazing. And yeah, talk to communicate with your bartender man. And like, literally, they will lead you to the promised land.
Miles
Well, let's say you did that. Let's say you. You set it to the one that. That I happen to be interested in.
Charlie Barrons
Deadlock eye contact. Hey, that fell over there. Bought you guys all around, but you're just still locked. Eye contact.
Amanda
I would say bought you around and with dead eye contact. And then I would say, ladies and then span.
Charlie Barrons
Gotcha.
Amanda
The rest of the group.
Miles
So at that point, do you then just stay in your seat, give a wave and do not go over there instead?
Charlie Barrons
I do after that.
Amanda
Yes. You make direct eye contact. She's going to make direct eye contact with you, period. It's going to happen 100%. And you do the. And she'll say thank you. She's either going to do the giggle smile. You're going to know that with more of her physical body language back that if she's making eye contact more and more and more.
Charlie Barrons
More.
Amanda
There's your in there you go.
Miles
Okay. And then. And then it's on you to walk over there and say hi. Or do you wait for her to walk over and say something?
Amanda
I'd use your bartender for that one, too.
Miles
Oh, what if we don't have a.
Charlie Barrons
Really wants to be involved?
Miles
What if we don't have a bartender as helpful as you, though?
Amanda
Well, I think most of them are like, yeah, really? I do. And like when our friends go to the bathroom or something, like, we're not above being like, so you interested?
Miles
Oh, got you right to the point.
Amanda
Then 1. There's no awkward situation between anybody.
Miles
Yeah.
Amanda
And I can be like, hey, I just got a boyfriend to you. And you're like, cool, but I bound it. Have a good night.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, cool. All right, let's try the gal on the other corner over.
Amanda
Right, Right.
Miles
Yeah.
Amanda
Well, then I'll just make eye contact with the fifth friend down. You know? Yeah, that's how that works.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. Not you. All right. What about you?
Miles
Yeah, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
You were his second choice.
Amanda
What about you Just wait till the friends go, you know, because they have to go to the bathroom in pairs.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Miles
So.
Amanda
But pick a girl. Like, that's an odd number group because, you know, then at least one of them is going to be singled out and probably weakest from the herd.
Miles
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
Jeez.
Miles
Wow. What? How do you. Because you can't. You go into a bar, you have to develop that relationship with Your bar to tender first. Right. Like. Like if someone were to just ask.
Charlie Barrons
Money talks, Charlie. You drop a 10 or a 20 on the table and you say, hey, you mind help me out there? And be like, absolutely.
Miles
Well, now, that's another question. Is that offensive right there To. To.
Amanda
Is it offensive?
Miles
You're like, it's a 20 bill. No, it's not offensive.
Amanda
Like, a dollar is a dollar. But I also, like. I guess I treat my guests as the same way I would expect to be treated somewhere else.
Charlie Barrons
But not one. Not every bartender is as helpful as you. I. We've found. We've been to a lot of bars.
Miles
You've been exceptional.
Charlie Barrons
I would say about 75% of bartenders are as helpful as you. You're gonna have a 25 once in a while. Really? Yeah, that'll happen.
Miles
See?
Amanda
And there. See, there's a lot of things for me, like, money's not worth it. And like, just kind of like you guys do, like, you kind of scope people out of talking to them. Like, I do the same through their body language, the way they act, the. The way that they interact back with me. And. Yeah, you know, kind of. I'm not gonna be like, oh, here's 20 bucks. Like, can I buy your drink? But can I hold it first? No, no, you can't. Well, you drop something in there, you're not going to deliver it yourself.
Miles
I got this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got. Well, you've got everyone's safety in mind, too. That's. That's a. That's a big.
Amanda
Everybody's got to get along. I'm safe, and I take people home all the time.
Charlie Barrons
Smart. You are.
Miles
You are the iconic small town bartender. This is.
Charlie Barrons
There we go.
Amanda
I have a blast.
Charlie Barrons
You said you had a buy, sell, and trade for us, right?
Amanda
Dude, it's free. No buy, seller, nothing. Just come get.
Miles
Pick it up.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
They.
Amanda
They come as a pair.
Miles
Okay.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Amanda
There is one female and one male. One is a miniature horse. He is about 32 inches tall.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Amanda
His name is Turbo. He does not run fast, and I like that. I have a miniature donkey who is smaller than that.
Charlie Barrons
And would you say that the best things come in small packages then, is what you're saying?
Amanda
No. Or I would.
Miles
Sorry, pal.
Amanda
I would not be keeping. I wouldn't be getting rid of them for free.
Charlie Barrons
I know, but we want someone to come pick it up, so we need to make it.
Amanda
They're so together. They're wonderful. That's why you got to take them as a parent. Hair. And I Got him last year because hay shortages and I felt bad and people couldn't feed their own animals.
Charlie Barrons
So you got a mini horse and a mini donkey.
Amanda
Yep. That are absolutely. A married couple in love that weren't together to start with but now are.
Charlie Barrons
Okay, well, if you're listening to this and you're in the market for a mini horse and a mini donkey because you got to take them both.
Amanda
That's right.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Amanda
I mean their happiness matters.
Miles
What do they need to sustain America?
Charlie Barrons
These.
Miles
These are not house pets.
Amanda
No. The pasture of grass. I mean, they wouldn't.
Patty
You.
Amanda
Less than an acre.
Miles
Less than an acre.
Amanda
Less than an acre of miles.
Miles
You got easy about an acre at your place, right?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I guess we do you want to help me put up a fence then or what?
Miles
I'll watch a video of first time.
Amanda
They stay in a hot wire pasture just fine.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
Do they? No. That's not bad. All right. That's pretty cheap right there.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Yeah. I don't imagine they can jump over a fence or anything at this.
Amanda
At this point in time, I would probably come do the fencing for you and do this.
Justin
Oh, wow.
Miles
Okay.
Amanda
Like.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
So if you're in the area, come to the Wild Rice Bar and Grill. Ask for Amanda. She's not here. They'll take a note or they'll call or whatever. Say, I'm looking for a mini horse and a mini donkey. I got the perfect situation. She's got. She's got you covered. It's not even a. But you don't. It's just free.
Miles
Yeah.
Amanda
I'll even deliver.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And delivery service.
Amanda
As long as it's a good home. Yep.
Miles
Oh, that's great. Oh, and you're gonna vet the home a little bit. You're gonna talk to folks.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, that's smart.
Miles
Good on you.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Don't be a serial killer or one of those.
Amanda
And the little pony. I will give them all of the tack that it came with the saddle and all of its fancy.
Charlie Barrons
All right.
Amanda
Riding things. Children do ride.
Charlie Barrons
This is a sweet deal. Honestly.
Miles
It is.
Charlie Barrons
And you buy a farm.
Amanda
He looks like a little tiny Hildago paint horse.
Charlie Barrons
You bought a farm?
Miles
Haven't closed yet, unfortunately. Oops. You know, listen, if I.
Amanda
When do you close?
Miles
Can you take the. I mean, are they self sustaining? For the most part, absolutely. So you can leave them out there a week and they're going to be fine?
Amanda
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
Miles
Going to have water.
Amanda
Water and access to grass.
Miles
Yeah. Access to grass.
Charlie Barrons
I think that. Yeah. Why don't you throw. Throw Them in the bed of the truck on the way home.
Amanda
And the hot wire fencing. You get a solar panel.
Miles
Yeah.
Amanda
For it. And so you don't have to use your own electricity or worry about wiring, anything like that.
Miles
Oh, that's perfect.
Amanda
And yeah, they're great.
Charlie Barrons
They.
Amanda
They stay fat and happy and they like kids and.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, yeah.
Miles
So awesome.
Charlie Barrons
All right. So there you got it.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Looking for a mini horse. Horse. Mini donkey. Man, is your gal.
Amanda
Just give me your address and I'll drop them off.
Charlie Barrons
There we go. Appreciate you letting us come and. Yeah, this is great.
Miles
Thank you so much.
Amanda
No, thank you, guys.
Miles
Watch out for deer.
Charlie Barrons
Watch out for many horses. Yeah, watch out for many horses and donkeys on your way home.
Amanda
That's true. And because, I mean, if you want to come by, I work Thursday and Friday. I could bring them with if anybody wants to check them out.
Charlie Barrons
All right.
Miles
Okay.
Amanda
Just time to the tables, you know. All right, whatever.
Charlie Barrons
You've heard of a horse in a bar? Have you heard of a donkey in a bar? Never.
Amanda
It's about to happen.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. There we go.
Miles
I'm excited for these suckers to find a new home.
Amanda
Me too.
Miles
Yeah. Miles's front yard.
Amanda
Yep. We're going to go up after this and fence it off.
Charlie Barrons
Right. My fiance would murder me.
Amanda
Or would she love it?
Miles
Might fall in love.
Charlie Barrons
I don't think so.
Miles
Yeah.
Amanda
Well, do you have a co program? Cuz many donkeys actually keep cattle and other livestock safe.
Miles
They're. Yeah.
Amanda
Companion animals.
Charlie Barrons
There you go.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
All right.
Miles
All right. Well, there we got it. So.
Amanda
Yeah.
Miles
Thank you again.
Amanda
Thank you, guys.
I
Hey, it's Willie.
Willie
Hey.
Miles
Hey, Willie. How you doing?
I
Doing pretty good.
Miles
Where are you calling in from?
I
I'm calling in from Washington state. I. I drove to Montana last week and. Oh, geez. About quite coeur d'alene to just outside of St. Regis. Endless construction on Interstate 90.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
I
In both directions.
Charlie Barrons
It's that time of year, isn't it, Charlie?
Miles
It is road construction season. My.
Charlie Barrons
Tell me about the four seasons the Midwest has.
Miles
Of course, you've got fall, you got winter, you got spring, and you got road construction season. And sometimes it bleeds into those other seasons, depending on the weather. And it is. Is a tough one. It's a tough go. But hey, those pot hills, those potholes are not gonna fill themselves. All right? So, you know, you complain about one, you get the other. It's just how it goes.
I
Very, very true.
Miles
Yeah, those beautiful orange flowers are in full bloom, my guy. So the question is, what do you do when you're in that construction zone.
I
I try and just go the speed limit best I can. And it's a little bit anxiety inducing when you have the teeny little orange cones and you have semi trucks coming at you to run the other direction because they closed down the eastbound lanes, both eastbound lanes of I90 in Idaho. So the eastbound traffic is going in the westbound lane, and then the westbound traffic scoring in the right lane. And this happened in both directions in Idaho, and. Oh, geez, it was. It's hard not to look at this scenery because Interstate 90 through Idaho and Montana.
Charlie Barrons
It's beautiful.
I
One of the most beautiful things you'll ever see.
Miles
And you got those white knuckles going.
I
Oh, absolutely.
Miles
Yeah. Well, you kind of. Yeah. You got nothing left to do but pay attention to the road in those scenarios and, you know, just hope that everybody else is also paying attention to the road. Because one mistake, one beer to the left or to the right, and, oh, no, then you. Then you got some bigger issues. You got an insurance situation on your hands. But what is your question specifically with all this traffic?
I
My question is what I do to sort of de stress while I'm going down the road and while I'm waiting. Because that's the other thing. As soon as I got off of the highway and I went up through St. Regis, there was a. At the very end of 135, when you turn left onto 200 to go towards Kalispell, there was a guy in the neon vest with the slow stop sign, and that thing was at the stop sign towards. Pointed towards me for about 30 minutes. I was sitting in the same spot for, oh, 30 minutes.
Miles
You got to be kidding me. You got. Do you have a car?
I
I should have. My cousin was texting me, like, hey, what's your ETA on getting here? I'm gonna order pizza. I'm like, I'm not sure. This. This construction guy's been in at a sign point at a stop for about a half hour now. So I honestly don't know what I'm gonna get there.
Miles
Yeah, you were about to order pizza to that spot, you know? Yeah.
I
Oh, it would have been. Would have been nice and toasty warm since my car doesn't have air conditioning.
Miles
Oh, geez. All you had were the windows to keep you cool. Do those at least work?
I
Yeah, the windows and this in this little neck stand I got for my birthday that actually works really well.
Miles
Oh, did you get a nice neck fan? What. What kind?
I
Worked very well in the 90 degree Montana sun.
Miles
Yeah. Does that plug Right into the cigarette lighter then.
I
No, it's just a rechargeable thing.
Charlie Barrons
Oh.
I
That you use for usbc. And then it lasts about five or six hours.
Charlie Barrons
It was where, where can, where can a guy find a good neck fan these days?
I
Yeah, probably Amazon or, or something like that.
Miles
Okay, we'll have to look for.
I
Yeah, if you have an old Honda Civic like I do and it doesn't have air conditioning, that's, that's your best choice problem.
Charlie Barrons
Well, we actually have a guy who has a Honda Blue Honda CRV with 130,000 miles on it. And the AC works about 75% of the time. Would you be in the market to buy three grand OBO or best offer?
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Does that interest you at all?
I
I just thought the Civic, we had a, we had an old Honda van for about 21 years and then, you know, we used to live in, around Cleveland, Ohio when the rust just ate that thing up.
Miles
Yeah. So the salt on the road, it'll do that.
Charlie Barrons
But eerie coming off the lake.
Miles
Still 20, 21 years though. I mean, congratulations.
I
21 years and 211,000 miles we got out of that odyssey through the workhorse.
Miles
And how did it finally go, that odyssey?
I
Well, just driving to work one day. Oh, the check engine light came on and I was like, oh shoot. Then the traction control light came on, like, oh no. So I got home, I plugged a little scanner thing into it and, and it said the code is a knock sensor. And once my dad, he's like, oh shoot, not again. Because I guess what that meant is that somehow, some way, somewhere where I parked it when I was out in the public somewhere, rodents had found their way into the engine. And the car was clean as a whistle. But somehow rodents had found their way into the engine. Shoot the knock sensor wires. And my mechanic was like, it's going to be $3,000 to fix this.
Miles
Yeah, I know. Oh, no, no. Well, you wrote it for 200,000 God loving miles and you did good. You did good.
I
I grew up in that van.
Miles
Did you like you guys, like you.
Charlie Barrons
Guys didn't have a home and you lived out of the van or.
I
No, no, we just. My folks bought that van when I was six months old and I'm now 20 too. And that's really the vehicle that's been around my entire life. That's from Cleveland to Washington.
Charlie Barrons
And you are 22 years old. How old did you think he was?
Miles
You sound about 73.
Charlie Barrons
I, I had you no younger than 60 years old. And that's a compliment you sound like an old soul, but I. You could knock me over with a feather right now that you are 20, 22 years old.
Miles
Yeah, yeah, you got that. You got Joe Para thing going for you right now. It's good.
I
Yeah. My cousin actually, who lives in Texas, my cousin in law, he was actually just up in Marquette, Michigan, and he told me I should watch that show on hbo. Max, Joe Para talks with you.
Miles
Yeah.
I
And I've been watching a little bit of it. I like it.
Miles
Yeah. Do you notice any similarities and your patterns of communication?
I
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I even, you know, I was out visiting my family. I was, you know, hanging out with one of my first cousins, and I got him into your. Into your two's videos. He loves them.
Charlie Barrons
Hell, yeah. I. So you had brought up, you know, a way to de stress on the road. Considering hearing how we thought you were maybe 60 years old, I think a good way to de stress on the road is just listen to the Midwest survival guide on the audiobook, Charlie's audiobook.
Miles
And thank you, Miles, for that plug. I do appreciate it. That should give you at least nine hours, you know, depending on what speed you're listening to it at. Miles usually listens to it at 20x. But I. I will say I think I see a business opportunity here, Miles. Okay, here's what I think, Willie. I want you to get your nearest dictionary and I want you to just read it, the whole thing, and I want you to record it. And I think that that would be one of the most soothing things for anybody in traffic to listen to. And I think it's could. Cause. Could solve the road rage problem in America today. And I think they would just sell like hotcakes. Do you have.
Charlie Barrons
You do have a very nice voice.
Miles
You really do. Yeah. Could you just pull up any news article and just read it to us just for a little bit?
I
My computer right here?
Miles
Yeah.
I
Oh, man. Yeah, that was about nine hours of driving I did over the course of last Monday, but, oh, man, it was all worth it. Montana is one of the most beautiful states I've ever been to.
Miles
Keep talking, Willie. Why is it so beautiful, man?
I
The mountains all around you. And as soon as you exit the Lolo Pass, you enter just into all these flatlands and then you see Flathead Lake. And, oh, it is just the most beautiful thing. You.
Charlie Barrons
And describe Flathead Lake. Describe that for us.
I
Flathead Lake. Oh, it's really clean. I got to swim in it on last Wednesday. And starts out, you're on the shore. You, you know, you have all your stuff laying in your baggie. You walk out to the. To the lake, and there's these really, you should be wearing, like, shower shoes or some sort of swim shoes because the rocks are really jagged and they'll kind of hurt your feet. But once that's all done, you get to the really nice soft and squishy sand. And it's actually really shallow up to about. For about a quarter mile or so. And once you're done with that, you sort of start getting into the deeper part of the lake. But just all around your mountains, you're about. If you hit Flathead lake, you're about 45 minutes to an hour drive from Glacier National Park. And, oh, man, there are so many opportunities in that whole area. I mean, I did archery for the first time in about 10 years, and my. My cousin said I did great. This is good to hear, but what's.
Miles
Your cousin's name, Willie?
I
Parker.
Miles
Parker.
Charlie Barrons
And I tell you what, Willie, you just need to start a podcast. And here's how it's going to de stress you while you're in road construction and how you're going to de stress other people in rogue construction. It's about. The podcast is centered around living in the present moment, Charlie. And you're gonna drive, and you're just gonna describe what you see, how you feel, just like what you did with us with the Flathead Lake. And I tell you what, I couldn't be more relaxed right now. That was very pleasant.
Miles
I don't know how I'm gonna finish the next podcast we gotta record. I'm just ready to kick back and relax. Next, a fire. And Willie, play us out can. Where are you right now?
I
I am sitting at home with just the radio next to me and my computer, and I think the cat might be downstairs.
Charlie Barrons
Well, why don't you take a gander out the window and describe what you see? And this is a. All the listeners listening. Just take this moment. Just look around and live in the present moment. What do you see, Willie?
I
Let's see. Oh, that's the wrong side of the blinds. There we go.
Miles
Yep.
I
There are the maple trees. And the tulip poplars are. Are getting their summer bloom going in. There's. There are the Casks mountains way off in the distance. There's a guy that almost ran a stop sign, but he hoped that he fortunately stopped in time. There's some people. People out walking. Don't have a dog or anything, but I'm sure it's a nice enough day that any dog or Any cat would love to be outside. And it's a beautiful Sunny day, about 85 degrees. Forecast calls for more of that. And there's an elementary school with the US Flag and the Washington state flag and baseball field and. And then you have the driveway. You have my old Honda Civic and the garage that's full of router tables and power tools that haven't been used in a long time.
Charlie Barrons
I love it. Will, that was.
Miles
That was poetic.
Charlie Barrons
You know, I think we may have found a new segment on this podcast.
Miles
I think Willie Free Willie.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, Free your mind and listen to Willie Willie talks.
Miles
Yeah, we'll.
Charlie Barrons
We'll find it.
Miles
We'll find it. Yeah. Well, Willie, we're gonna. We're gonna save your number here. We might have to give you a call back and have this be a little recurring segment here on the Bellied up podcast.
I
Very nice. Yeah. Like, I am. I am all blissed out. You know, know that that trip last week was just what I needed. It's gotten rid of all the anxiety and stress that I had when I left.
Charlie Barrons
That's awesome.
I
So I'm. I'm really turning over a new leaf, I think.
Charlie Barrons
I love it.
Miles
You're turning over our leaves. And I don't mean that as a weird innuendo, Willie. Thank you for servicing us here on the Bellied up podcast. And, Willie, you have yourself a good day, okay? And I want to let you know that that Honda minivan still thinks about you.
I
I still see it every day. I sold it to my mechanic, and they're gonna fix it up and use it as a loaner.
Charlie Barrons
Okay.
Miles
Smart service to others. I love it, Willie. Well, you have yourself a good one, my guy.
Charlie Barrons
And watch out for construction workers on the road.
Miles
Yeah. Keep your eyes on the line minds, my guy. We'll see you next time.
I
Thanks. Watch for dozen deer.
Miles
Yes, you too, Willie. You too.
Charlie Barrons
Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. I felt somewhat we turn into an NPR episode. How about you?
Miles
We did. We really did.
Charlie Barrons
Honestly, I feel really good. Willie's got it right.
Miles
He does. It's just noticing the things because before you know it, they're gone. Be like, Willie. Folks, free your, free your mind, free your Willie.
Charlie Barrons
Hi. Is this school bus driver?
Emily
Yes, it is.
Charlie Barrons
You got Miles and Charlie from the Bellied up podcast. How are you?
Emily
Oh, I'm living the dream. How about yourself?
Charlie Barrons
Same. Bellied up to the bar.
Miles
We can't complain.
Charlie Barrons
Should we dive into it, Charles?
Miles
Let's dive into it. All right.
Emily
Sounds like you fellas are having more fun than need.
Charlie Barrons
Oh, yeah. So, guys, we have a school bus driver on the line from the Midwest, and he wants to one, talk about how exhausting it is to drive a bus in the Midwest. And number two, his goofy living situation. I'm excited, Mr. Bus Driver. What is so exhausting about driving a school bus? You're just sitting there driving, man.
Miles
Well, I don't know about.
Emily
About you boys, but I like to wave and take. Say good morning and everything to everybody I see. Well, you know how many people you pass in a bus to begin with, and then you have 60 kids walking past you and you have to say good morning and have a good day to every one of them, and half of them won't even say it back. I don't. I don't think that these kids are learning the good Midwest values anymore.
Miles
What the hell? They're not even saying good morning back to you?
Emily
Heck, no.
Miles
Are they on their phones, just staring on their phones, Little robot boys?
Emily
Pretty much. Heck, I don't think they know. They'd know if we crashed into a tree, the way they look at their phones.
Miles
Oh, God, that's scary, man.
Charlie Barrons
So you gotta, like, ice. You have to, like, ice your arm at the end of the day from waving at people all day long on the bus.
Emily
I. I pretty much. Pretty much do.
Miles
Yeah.
Emily
I have to go home and put ice on my shoulder from all the waving at everybody. It's an exhausting experience.
Miles
Look at you. Look at him, though, holding it down, committed to saying hello when these little shits don't even look up from their freaking devices. You know what that you need? You need a Midwest dad on there to smack the phone out of their hands and say, look them in the eyes. Not too long, but look them in the eyes.
Emily
I agree. That's great. That'd be great.
Charlie Barrons
What's. Yeah, go ahead.
Emily
If you get a parent standing at the end of a driveway, man, you might take all day to get these kids home because they just want to talk all the time. That's the downside of the Midwest.
Miles
That's because they're kids. Kids aren't talking to him. So they're like, oh, finally a normal human.
Emily
I agree. I agree.
Miles
Yeah, we're in the Midwest.
Emily
Are you Southeastern Indiana?
Miles
Oh, yeah, Southeastern Indiana. All right. So, yeah, you're just going down there and you're trying to wave at these kids, and then. What about people who pass the bus? Are they waving at you too, or. No?
Emily
Well, they're not waving at me, but I'm waving at every one of them.
Miles
Look at you. Look at this guy. He's just a Midwest soldier, just. Just ready to go just to spread the Midwesternness to a bunch of people. He's like a missionary, you know?
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Emily
I'm thinking we must be having some Illinois. Some Illinois people around here or something, the way you get the manners back.
Miles
I think phones make everyone fibs is what I think.
Emily
I guarantee it.
Charlie Barrons
So my experience with bus drivers going up is there were always yelling at us to sit down and stop doing this and stop doing that. Have you. Are you. I'm gonna pull this bus over type of guy, or what's your approach when kids are misbehaving?
Emily
Oh, I've. I've had to pull over a time or two, but I've also learned that if you just talk to them real mean a couple times, they think you're scary and they'll leave you alone.
Miles
Well, that's. That's a. That's a good option there. You got good relationships with any of the kids?
Emily
Oh, yeah. Well, I tell you, I'm a. I'm a sub, so I'm on different routes about every different day.
Miles
Oh, wow, you're a. Yeah, I know. You're a sub bus driver. Now that's interesting. Yeah, because the substitute teacher, it's tough to get respect from the kids on that. I wonder if the substitute bus driver, maybe that's playing into this.
Emily
It might be, but I know something. Like I said, if you just sound like your real man when he gets started, then you usually don't have no problem.
Miles
Yeah.
Emily
Nicest guy you'd ever meet. But you gotta. You gotta make the kids think you're mean.
Miles
Well, yeah, because you gotta lay the precedent. First thing, you gotta make sure there's no horse around. What's the weirdest thing any of these kids have ever done on your school bus?
Emily
I had a kid, actually, two days ago that we got to his house and he refused to get off the bus because he was mad that his sister got off before he did. He started crying. The weirdest thing I ever seen. I've had kids refuse to get off at school. I mean, we can all get behind that. Come on. Who wants to go to school? But, man, you're already home, kid.
Miles
Gosh, yeah. Yeah, you were there. My guy. Now the next day he's going to get made fun of for crying.
Emily
I agree, I agree.
Miles
How'd you get him off the bus?
Emily
Well, I'll say the mother came up there and she was not Too happy with him. So I was a little. I. I was a little scared to making her angry. I don't know what that kid's thinking.
Charlie Barrons
He was scared. You had to imagine how the kid was feeling. Oh, I know.
Emily
I was the mom come up there, and she was. You could tell she was mad about it. I was like, man, I. I don't want to get on the wrong side. Geez, kid.
Miles
I wonder what that kid did at school. Because, you know, that his sister got off first. She already told her mom the thing that the kid did. That's probably why he was crying. There's probably a deeper story.
Emily
He's scared that the school called home before he made it there.
Miles
That's wild, man.
Charlie Barrons
So, yeah, because, like, I don't think you can, like, physically remove a kid from the bus.
Miles
No, it's not like a bar, you know, you can't bounce him out of there.
Emily
Maybe that's what we need. Maybe we just need some school bus bouncers.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah. Checking IDs.
Emily
And yes, now you're thinking.
Charlie Barrons
You said in your voicemail you got a goofy living situation. What's going on with that?
Emily
Okay, so I'd say, let's say maybe three years ago, four years ago, maybe. I was dating this girl, and me and her, you know, got pretty serious. We moved in together, and we were engaged. We were living on a farm that her parents owned, and we actually ended up moving into the house that she grew up in. It's a dairy farm. And me and her dad started dairy farming together. Well, then, you know, folks, flash forward another year or so. Well, she found her a new boyfriend, and her dad found out, and her dad told her to get out and told me to stay. So to this day, I still live on the farm she grew up in, and I still. I still milk cows with her dad.
Charlie Barrons
Helen.
Emily
I talk to her dad more than he talks to her.
Miles
Oh, my God. You are the father. Son he wish he always had.
Emily
He told me that one time, which I thought was weird because he has a son.
Miles
Wow. What a deal. What a deal. That's. That's. I mean.
Emily
I mean, I. I got, like, the woman's end in the divorce. I got to keep all the stuff.
Charlie Barrons
That's what I was. That's what I was gonna say. It's hard to pull off keeping the house, but you did it.
Emily
Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe I was smart. I got out of there before we filled out any paperwork.
Charlie Barrons
True.
Miles
So do you ever see the girl anymore?
Emily
I tell you what, I. Being A nice guy. I know her and her new boyfriend, I guess just bought a house a while back and they're wanting to fix it up and you know, me being a nice guy, I even offered to help him out and her new boyfriend told me he'd rather freeze to death than have my help. So you know what? I guess that's their problem.
Miles
That's a real secure boyfriend is what that is.
Emily
That's what I kind of figure.
Charlie Barrons
So do you like see, you see her at like Thanksgiving and stuff or. No.
Emily
Oh, yeah. It, it definitely makes, it definitely makes her angry every time you see her over at her parents house and I'm there. But that's okay.
Charlie Barrons
He's got like a stocking on the mantle during Christmas time and.
Emily
Oh, oh, I, I Do.
Miles
You have a stocking on the mat?
Emily
I, I do, I do.
Miles
How long you been in this family now?
Emily
Well, me and her were together. I'm trying, I think probably four years ago. And like I, I think we've been broke up now at least two years, so probably four years.
Charlie Barrons
So. So like you guys broke up, you guys stayed living in the house together and she found another boyfriend all while you still were living together?
Emily
No, she moved out. I'm still living in the house.
Charlie Barrons
Got it, got it, got it.
Emily
Why say it's the house she grew up? It's the house she grew up in as a kid.
Miles
Why did you guys break up?
Emily
I guess she decided this new guy was better than me.
Miles
Oh man, you get.
Emily
Yeah, fine by me.
Miles
You dating someone else? No.
Emily
Heck, honestly, I kind of like living alone.
Miles
I don't think you're living alone, are you, you're living with her dad, right?
Emily
No, they're, they live, they live at a different, on a different house, you know, I'm living a house she grew up in. They, they moved on into a different house. We moved in there.
Miles
Do you pay rent?
Emily
No.
Miles
Dude, how the hell did this work out? Are you that good with the cows?
Emily
I, I, I honestly have no idea. I somehow just force gumped my way through life. I don't know.
Charlie Barrons
I just started running. Yeah, I just started driving. Driving? Forest Gunk does drive a school bus at some point, doesn't he?
Emily
I, I don't think he does.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, but no, he drops his kid, his kid gets on the school bus at the end of the movie. Spoiler alert. That's what it is. Yeah.
Emily
I tell you what, if Forrest Gump drove a school bus, that would have made a way more interesting movie.
Miles
Wow, so you're working on the farm every day. And you're doing the school bus us when they call you?
Emily
Yeah, pretty much. I mean, that's a couple days a week. And actually, I have another job working a maintenance job at a school, too.
Charlie Barrons
Wow. Busy guy.
Miles
This guy's doing everything.
Charlie Barrons
He doesn't have time to find another gal.
Miles
No.
Emily
Yeah, my. My dad. My dad once told me I was a. I'll do anything for money.
Charlie Barrons
What does your parents think of this situation you're in?
Emily
Oh, they just shake their head. They're like, I don't know. I don't know what. What you're doing, but it seems to be working for you, so that's good.
Miles
Wow. And there's no. There's nothing the dad has not told you that you gotta find your own place at any point in time?
Emily
No, no, they. Basically. He makes it sound like he wants to take. He wants to retire from farming in a couple years and he's looking for somebody to take it over.
Miles
Ah, so you're the investment. Are you gonna be. You're gonna be good taking care of the farms then?
Emily
I guess. I'm not. I'm not opposed.
Charlie Barrons
That's a pretty good deal.
Miles
Yeah, it's a great situation. He's gonna leave you the farm. Dude, that's gonna piss your ex girlfriend off so much when you get that whole farm.
Emily
Yeah, well, I might say so, but hey, that's not. That's not my business.
Charlie Barrons
No, I mean, a little bit. You are living in her house, working with her dad.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Well, we appreciate you calling in, man. This is great. Yeah. Any advice out there for other bus drivers on how to, you know, not be so exhausted at the end of the day?
Emily
I would say, well, for one thing, if the kids get out of hand, you do need to resist the urge to blame on the brake pedal.
Charlie Barrons
But when they're standing up in the. In the walkway and it slam on the brake and they go flying.
Emily
Yeah. Mysteriously, a squirrel ran in front of me. I don't know what happened.
Miles
Break check them. That's great.
Emily
No, I. I don't know. I would say that we just need to keep trying to teach the good value to the younger children and to, you know, be nice to people and say good morning to everybody because it's getting ridiculous out there. I say it's just. It's got to be the phones. I heard a story of a kid. I heard a story of a kid a while back that got on the wrong bus and he ended up at the wrong school in the morning. Like he Was at a, there was a, there was a class of like kids that went over to the local community college for some classes and after class he walked out of, walked out of there and got on the wrong bus and they took him to the wrong goddamn school. Like 45 minutes away.
Miles
It's the phone in our school is.
Emily
Probably five minutes from there. I'm like, how does this kid get on there and not be like wow, I've been on here more than a few minutes. You think something's probably wrong. But he ended up 45 minutes away at the wrong darn school.
Miles
How old are the kids when they get phones these days?
Emily
I mean, I don't know. I see kids getting on, you know, fourth, fifth grade sometimes with phones. It's ridiculous.
Miles
Good God. Yeah, I know it. I feel like, yeah, that's just crazy. They can just access anything on those deals. Just a bunch of robots. We're getting dumber. Robots are getting smarter. That's the end of it right there.
Emily
I, I agree. I tell you, kids are so darn, they don't pay attention to nothing.
Charlie Barrons
I know.
Emily
Like the school that I drive for, they, the kids, you know, use computers that you know, do for learning every day. You know, they have, bring a laptop with them. Man, I bet every day there's at least one kid that forgets their computer like at home or on the bus. It's like you have one thing you have to have for school today and you can't keep track of one thing.
Charlie Barrons
So do you turn the bus around and go get it for him or. No?
Emily
No. Yeah, a lot of people do. I'm the kind of guy like, well if you can't manage that, well, you'll just have to figure it out today. Like there was one thing.
Charlie Barrons
It's not my fault you have to borrow your neighbors computer. You know, just like I used to have to borrow people's pencils because I never had a pencil.
Willie
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
You ever have a pencil in grade school?
Miles
No. And I gotta give some sympathy to these kids. If, if I were on that bus, I'd forget my friggin thing every single day.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Emily
You know, yeah, Charlie does seem like the kind of guy that would forget stuff every day.
Charlie Barrons
But that's not because you'd have been on your phone. It'd be because you're like looking at the birds outside.
Miles
I know. Birds are freaking awesome. That's what these little shits are never going to learn how cool birds are because they're too busy looking at their stupid ass Tik tock. I'm. I'm just turning into an old, old man, you know? But at the same time, these phones are killing us.
Emily
I agree. I'm the youngest old man you'd ever meet.
Miles
How old are you?
Emily
25.
Miles
You got to be freaking kidding me. Dude. You got to be freaking kidding me. You sound like you've been through three divorces, forces, and two world wars.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, I. I know.
Emily
Everybody's like, you're. If you're only as old as you feel. I'm 87.
Miles
My God.
Charlie Barrons
Well, we appreciate you calling in today, man. This is great. And keep doing the good work out there. Spreading the. Spreading the love, the good mornings and Midwest waves.
Emily
Yeah, I'll. I'll have to work on that.
Charlie Barrons
Hell, yeah.
Miles
Well, thank you. Thank you for your service to the Midwest. You keep her moving out there.
Emily
Hey, you boys watch out for deer, all right?
Miles
Thank you. Yeah, you watch out for deer and pretend you see one the next time one of those little shits is in the middle of the alley walking on their phone, kick that up to the front.
Emily
Hey, I've only almost hit a deer in a bus once, so that's okay.
Miles
That's a big win. That's a big win.
Emily
I. I agree. I agree. Yeah, the kids wouldn't have known the difference if there was five of them in front of us.
Miles
As we say that, a school bus drives right by us. That's symbolic.
Charlie Barrons
Really?
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
I was too busy looking at my phone.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah.
Emily
You guys are too busy looking at your phone.
Miles
Yep.
Charlie Barrons
Well, I suppose so.
Emily
Hey, you. You boys have a wonderful day.
Charlie Barrons
You, too, man. Have a good one.
Miles
We'll see you soon.
Emily
Make. Make sure you drink one for me, because they frown upon that. If you do that before you get on the bus.
Miles
We will take. Take care.
Patty
All right.
Emily
Have a good one.
Charlie Barrons
You know what was the worst part about riding the bus?
Miles
What's that?
Charlie Barrons
I didn't ride the bus. But when we go on field trips and like that. Yeah, when you get the seat that was over the wheel well.
Miles
Oh, yeah.
Charlie Barrons
And then you have to sit there with your legs like you're sitting on a squatty potty.
Miles
Yeah, that's always the worst one. Dude. I remember being on the bus. That's why I'm worried about these kids, like, they're not going to learn. Well, I remember kindergarten or first grade, one of the two just exchanging swear words that I learned with my buddy, you know? I mean, what a memory.
Charlie Barrons
It's core memory.
Miles
That's when I learned shit. And he taught me fuck And I was. And I feel like now kids are learning that off of the Internet and you should learn that from your friends.
Charlie Barrons
I mean, we're a little bit part of the problem. Charlie.
Miles
I. No, I'm definitely the problem. I mean, look at all the videos we do. This is on the Internet right now. Now.
Charlie Barrons
Correct.
Miles
I know. Yep. That's how it goes, Miles. That's how it goes. Gotta look at the look in the mirror before you look at everyone else. Like, why are these kids all on their phone? Hey there, folks. How you doing?
Charlie Barrons
You know, on their phone. We're on their phone.
Miles
We're on their phone. Oh yeah, that's right. It's even more meta than that.
Charlie Barrons
All right, Charlie, we got a voicemail from Justin that Jared's gonna play.
Miles
All right, let's hear.
Charlie Barrons
See what he has to say.
Miles
Hey guys, I was just wondering if you have the stat same problem as me getting a little bit too much lit in your belly button. Take a shower, land your belly button. I kind of stink sometimes. It's Justin. I'm 28. Justin.
Charlie Barrons
Hold on.
Miles
Yeah, let me check. Oh, hang on. I got some right here. We both have. Both have lint in our belly buttons.
Charlie Barrons
Look at that lint ball. That's so disgusting.
Miles
You have a pum on yours, Miles.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, that's cuz I got.
Miles
Oh, I got one too. I got a hair in mine.
Charlie Barrons
H. Yeah, you just get to a certain age, you got enough hair on your, on your belly that it just. The lint goes in and it can't get out.
Miles
Yeah, it's like a street sweeper, you know, just shovels it right in there.
Charlie Barrons
Yeah, it's like the, the dune bucket that. Just stick your hand in, you can't get it out.
Miles
Has an ever commented on your belly button?
Charlie Barrons
Oh, she despise it. If we show her that photo, she may puke. And so I make it point that in the morning or at the, in the. Usually in the evening, I'll take it out and I'll look at her and I'll just drop it on the bathroom floor.
Miles
Does she not get.
Charlie Barrons
Look her dead in her eyes.
Miles
You know what's, what's that about do. When do you get more lint in your belly button?
Charlie Barrons
I don't know. You just. As soon as you get hair going on down there. I feel like.
Miles
Does an never.
Charlie Barrons
You got a hairy ass belly button. You got lint coming out of there all day. Oh God. Let's see it. Cleaned it out this morning. That is so funny that we both just Pulled it up. It was the exact same size.
Miles
My boys are a little bigger. Does Anne ever get lint in her belly button?
Charlie Barrons
No, she doesn't have any hair on her belly.
Miles
It's really a hair thing. Huh.
Charlie Barrons
Just traps it all in there.
Patty
Wow.
Miles
Isn't that one of the miracles of life, though? Hey, I mean, how does that actually work?
Charlie Barrons
To rent the in, I should just like trim a. Like a. A thing around the outside.
Miles
It's like a fire lane. You know, for the fire.
Charlie Barrons
Build a little bike lane around the belly button to keep it from trapping Lynn.
Miles
The lint cut.
Charlie Barrons
No, we. That's what we should do. Charlie, this is. Hey, Musky Tank with me right now, okay? We're gonna start selling like, you know. Know how you can buy strips of like, wax stuff that you could put on your skin and rip it off?
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
We'll just sell them in little circles with a little bit of wax around it. You just put it on around your belly button, you rip it off and you. It's a.
Miles
It's a delinter.
Charlie Barrons
It's a delinter.
Miles
The. It's like. And people go to like our spa for it. You know, they like. I'm going to get a Brazilian.
Charlie Barrons
You know, I'm going to get a Baron's.
Miles
Yeah, it's the man wax. Call it the Max, you know, and then just.
Charlie Barrons
That actually probably would work.
Miles
That's a great idea. Are we sure it's the hair that traps it in there?
Charlie Barrons
I. That's my guess. But Jake's probably googling it right now.
Miles
Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
How do you. Oh, yeah, he. He just put his phone away. He was texting his girlfriend all day.
Miles
What? Yeah. How do you get. Yeah.
Charlie Barrons
Belly button lint is also called navel fluff. Is primarily made up of stray fibers from your clothing that get caught on your stomach hair, which then naturally directs the fibers towards the belly button where they accumulate due to the shape of the navel, essentially acting like a trap. It's a dune bucket.
Miles
We gotta do a whole thing on it, man. We gotta do the belly. The bbt, the belly button. Trim the bbw. Like, forget bbw. What? Why is that funny, Miles? I don't know why that's funny.
Charlie Barrons
No, it's a bazillion belly button wax.
Miles
Brazilian bbw. Yeah, Brazilian bbbb. Bbbw.
Charlie Barrons
Would you call it the naval fluff?
Miles
Naval fluff. It's like the scientific term for it. That is fan freaking taste.
Charlie Barrons
So, Justin, you're not alone.
Miles
Justin 28.
Charlie Barrons
That is like one of of the Shortest voicemails. We got to just straight to the point.
Miles
That voice, that was like a Midwest haiku what he just sent there. It was beautiful. It was like he was paying per character. He called us collect or something.
Charlie Barrons
Okay. All right. Well, I'm glad that we just exposed our naval fluff to the entire Internet.
Miles
Oh, God, that's great. I might lead with that in my special.
Charlie Barrons
Are you gonna.
Miles
No, come on, Lead with it. That's what. That's what comedians always say if you got a new bit. Feeling good about that? Yeah, lead with it, because usually it bombs. I don't think this would bomb. I think I'm gonna have every guy stand up and everyone raise their hand. Who has belly button Linton.
Charlie Barrons
It's so gross. The. The maintenance staff just hates you because they got so much to clean up afterwards.
Miles
So many dust bunnies.
Charlie Barrons
It's going to look like after they sweep a basketball court in that auditorium, Little thing they walk behind.
Miles
And then we do a prize for the person with the biggest one. I just never film my special. It's just that the entire time just releases the belly lint crush crowd work special. God, what if. What if we collected all the lint and made a pillow?
Charlie Barrons
So gross.
Miles
Is it, though? Why?
Charlie Barrons
Ah, well. Well, Is that it, Charlie?
Miles
I think that's it, ladies and gentlemen.
Charlie Barrons
Guys, thanks for tuning in, hanging out with us at the Old Town Tavern here in Appleton, Wisconsin.
Miles
The Ott. Yeah, you know me. We'll see you guys soon. Okay. Tip your bartender.
Charlie Barrons
See you. Next one.
Bellied Up Podcast: Best of Volume 3 Summary
Release Date: April 3, 2025
Overview
"Bellied Up" is a unique comedy podcast hosted by Emmy-winning comedian Charlie Berens and Myles, known as You Betcha Guy. Set in the cozy ambiance of the Old Town Tavern in Appleton, the hosts engage with live callers from across the Midwest and beyond, offering humor, advice, and a sense of community. In "Best of Bellied Up: Volume 3," the episode compiles some of the most memorable interactions, showcasing the show's blend of comedy and heartfelt conversations.
Key Sections
The episode kicks off with Charlie Berens and Myles navigating the quirks of the Old Town Tavern, including playful banter about spilled coffee and the notorious beer claw machine. Their chemistry sets a humorous tone, immediately engaging listeners with their witty exchanges.
Notable Quote:
Charlie: "[...] sorry, Miles. You okay? You can be all right. Yikes."
(00:26)
Connor, an electrician and construction foreman from Missoula, Montana, calls in to discuss a personal dilemma—convincing his pregnant wife to let him buy a snow machine. The conversation humorously explores the practicality of snow machines versus Ferraris in snowy climates.
Notable Quote:
Connor: "If a grizzly bear comes knocking tears apart your Ferrari, you guys have nowhere to go. You need that snow machine."
(08:18)
Amanda, an Arizona-based bartender, shares her experiences managing a bar flooded with Midwesterners—often referred to as "snowbirds." The discussion delves into cultural differences, driving habits, and the humorous challenges of serving an older clientele.
Notable Quote:
Amanda: "I love it. And I have to say no to that because I don't muddle things."
(34:32)
Patrick, a structural engineer from Mobile, Alabama, engages in a playful debate with the hosts about engineering versus construction workers. Their lighthearted argument highlights common stereotypes and fosters camaraderie despite professional differences.
Notable Quote:
Patrick: "We're trying to avoid those bad situations."
(43:02)
Sally, a school bus monitor from southeastern Wisconsin, discusses the exhausting nature of driving a school bus in the Midwest. She emphasizes the decline in courtesy among students, attributing it to excessive phone usage and generational shifts.
Notable Quote:
Sally: "I'm waving at every one of them, and half of them won't even say it back."
(05:05)
A segment featuring Emily and Braylon, both residing in rehab, explores the social dynamics and recreational challenges within rehabilitation centers. They discuss the importance of community, coping mechanisms, and the humorous side of strict environments.
Notable Quote:
Charlie: "Rehab is like summer camp, or what?"
(182:01)
Listeners share diverse and entertaining anecdotes, ranging from impromptu gender reveal parties involving snow machines to navigating complex relationships while living on a family farm. These stories blend humor with relatable life situations, offering both laughs and insights.
Notable Quote:
Patty: "I want to use chopsticks a little bit more [...] My first food after practice will be a deep-fried cheese curd."
(148:16)
Willie introduces a tarot card reading segment, bringing an element of mystique and personal reflection to the podcast. As he interprets the cards, listeners gain philosophical insights intertwined with the show's comedic essence.
Notable Quote:
Willie: "The High Priestess represents someone in tune with their divine feminine intuition."
(138:12)
The hosts offer humorous and practical advice to callers grappling with relationship issues, including navigating breakups and fostering meaningful connections. Their candid discussions provide both entertainment and genuine support.
Notable Quote:
Charlie: "Find someone that you're happy to FaceTime with."
(75:16)
The episode concludes with reflective and humorous exchanges, reinforcing the show's theme of community and laughter. The hosts express gratitude to their callers, highlight upcoming segments, and maintain their signature comedic flair.
Notable Quote:
Charlie: "Bellied up to the bar. Water is warm and the beer is cold. What's on your mind?"
(75:37)
Conclusion
"Best of Bellied Up: Volume 3" encapsulates the essence of the "Bellied Up" podcast—where comedy meets community. Through engaging caller interactions, humorous banter, and heartfelt advice, Charlie Berens and Myles create a space where listeners feel both entertained and connected. Whether navigating the mundane or delving into the absurd, the podcast remains a testament to the power of laughter and shared stories.