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- [00:00]
Host 1
We now have a voicemail line. We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time. We hear you. That stinks. So by including the voicemail line, it will allow everyone to get a chance to have their topic heard. We'll listen to the voicemails, then line up calls with the ones that we love. This means the more interesting your topic and the more energy that you bring increases your chances of being featured on the show. So if you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095. You can call in 24. 7. And again, the number is 218-303-5095. If you forget the number, it's in the description of the podcast, so don't worry. Cheers. Enjoy the episode.
- [00:47]
Host 2
Do you research a city before you go into it, or.
- [00:50]
Dusty Slay
Sometimes people try to send me stuff. They're like, if you want to make jokes about the city, here's some stuff. But I. I don't really want to.
- [00:55]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [00:56]
Dusty Slay
Unless, you know, I see something that's cool and funny, then I'll do it, but.
- [01:00]
Host 2
Got it.
- [01:01]
Dusty Slay
I don't know. I just feel like if I'm picking the things that is. Is somebody, it's like people are probably already doing this. They're probably all riffing on these things.
- [01:11]
Caller 1
Yeah.
- [01:11]
Host 2
They picked it apart pretty good. And the people who go there, see comedy shows have. They've heard it all.
- [01:16]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. And I don't really like to make fun of the city that I'm doing comedy in.
- [01:20]
Host 2
Right. You don't want to roast the city. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Kind of sets the table in a weird way a little bit, especially if hit on, like, one of those things that people are actually, you know, soft on, you know, or. Or sensitive to, like, miles. If someone were to go to Fargo and what would be the joke that would piss you off?
- [01:39]
Host 1
I mean, we get a lot of there's nothing going on here, like, why do you guys live here? Stuff, but doesn't really piss me off.
- [01:46]
Dusty Slay
And that's boring, though, too, though, because it's like, there is stuff going on in Fargo.
- [01:50]
Host 2
That's true.
- [01:51]
Dusty Slay
I've been there a couple of times. It's pretty fun.
- [01:53]
Host 2
Yeah. Part. We've had some good times there, that's for sure.
- [01:56]
Host 1
It's just when you get right outside of Fargo, that's where we get the wrap. Charlie. We were driving in the winter outside of Fargo, and Charlie looks at me and just says, are we on the moon?
- [02:06]
Dusty Slay
Oh, yeah.
- [02:06]
Host 1
Just flat.
- [02:07]
Dusty Slay
Well, from Fargo to Bismar. That's where nothing's going on.
- [02:13]
Host 1
Well, there's roadside attractions. There's a big buffalo statue.
- [02:18]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [02:18]
Host 2
You know, the only thing going on is just snow drifts. Like, I did a Bismarck Fargo run on in January, I think, last year or something, and. Oh, man. You ever do that in winter that you get those snow drifts?
- [02:34]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I actually went to Devil's Lake, North Dakota. Okay. So I think I had to fly into Bismarck. Would that make sense?
- [02:43]
Host 1
Or Grand Forks, maybe.
- [02:46]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, one of the. They had a. I feel like they had kind of like a lot of ATVs in the airport on display. I do think that. And, but. And then the whole ride, I mean, it was snow drifts.
- [03:00]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [03:00]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [03:01]
Host 2
Which are gnarly. I mean, you think that that'll be fine. I can go 70 miles over that thing and then, you know, you're fishtailing in in an SUV.
- [03:10]
Host 1
Yeah. The Bismarck airport, they got the ATVs. That's like the, you know, the handicap carts that people ride.
- [03:15]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [03:15]
Host 1
You just have to hop on the back of a four wheeler and go to the airport.
- [03:19]
Dusty Slay
Bismarck.
- [03:19]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [03:20]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [03:21]
Host 2
Before we get too far along, let me introduce you ladies and gentlemen. We got comedian Dusty Slay here today joining the Bellied up podcast. And it's. It's a pleasure to have you here.
- [03:31]
Dusty Slay
Thanks for having me.
- [03:32]
Host 2
And let's let people know right off the top, too. You're going to be for my Milwaukee people. You're coming to town.
- [03:38]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, I got some. I got some new dates this doing today. I don't know when this comes out, but today is the launch of my second half of the tour and I'm in Madison, Wisconsin on August 15th. For some reason on this poster, it says coming soon, but we're doing the announce today. I don't know why it says that.
- [03:57]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [03:57]
Dusty Slay
And then August 16th, I'm in Milwaukee.
- [03:59]
Host 2
Okay.
- [04:00]
Dusty Slay
And then just later on, you know, November 21st, I'm in Wausau. And then November 22nd, I'm in Green Bay.
- [04:05]
Host 2
That's gonna be awesome, man. That's a good stretch. Those are all great cities and you pick the nice months to be there.
- [04:11]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. You know, I love Wisconsin. It's great. Yeah, I've been all over.
- [04:15]
Host 1
You should have.
- [04:15]
Dusty Slay
Not a big fan of Egg harbor, but everywhere else I like.
- [04:18]
Host 2
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wow. What happened in Egg Harbor?
- [04:21]
Dusty Slay
Actually, it's. It's fine. But they had a funny business, had a show at eg. I don't know if you ever worked with funny business, but you know, it's just kind of a resort place.
- [04:30]
Host 2
Yeah. Yeah.
- [04:31]
Dusty Slay
And the show was not great. I didn't like it. I was on stage. It was too well lit. I could see the whole audience the whole time. And it just my. My feature at the time, Aaron Weber, he was on stage, he was doing pretty good, and I thought, all right, well, this is going to be great. And then they just did not like me. And I got off stage, and the guy who was paying me had my check in his hand, and I took the check and I beat people from the audience out to the car. I never have left so fast. Like, I was getting in my car at the same time people in the show was getting in their car.
- [05:08]
Host 2
Why was it so. That is kind of like a ritzy. The ritziest part of Wisconsin you can go to. It's door county, miles. So it's right. Right in the thumb there. And yeah, there's some spendy people, but. But to be fair to Wisconsin, a lot of them come from Illinois.
- [05:25]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. So, okay. Yeah, that makes sense.
- [05:27]
Host 2
Offend, like, Chicago people early on, I.
- [05:29]
Dusty Slay
Think so I don't know what happened, but, you know, nothing bad happened, but it's just kind of one of those where you're like, all right, that joke didn't really work, but I'll get them on the next one. And then after a while, you're like, all right, this is never going to kick into gear here. And then you're up there for an hour, and then you go, all right, well, see ya. Yes, sir. Thanks for coming out.
- [05:48]
Host 1
I guess you beat them out the door and they think you're their Uber.
- [05:52]
Dusty Slay
I'm ready to go. I was. I never been out of a venue so fast. I was. And they weren't giving me a hotel there, so I had to drive to get to the hotel. So I was like, let's just get out of here right now. Yeah, I don't want to hang around and have someone go, hey, great set. I didn't want to hear it.
- [06:06]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [06:07]
Dusty Slay
You know, it was kind of like you.
- [06:09]
Host 1
You blow up a public bathroom and you come back to the table and you're like, guys, we got it.
- [06:13]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, exactly.
- [06:14]
Host 1
This is going to be exactly.
- [06:15]
Dusty Slay
Or you just go on out and text your friends, I'm out of there. I'm in the car. Pay the tab. I'll get you back.
- [06:24]
Host 2
So when you, like, what's been, like, your worst bomb as. As a comedian, if. If not Egg Harbor?
- [06:33]
Dusty Slay
I don't. Yeah, I wouldn't say that's. The worst because that was like this. So it was a weird one there because it's like it's going well enough to where you can't, like, I don't know if you really bomb and you can just break and just go, all right, I'm just going to do new jokes. None of this is working. I'm just going to work on some. But with Egg harbor, it was always like, now I'm about to turn a corner here, you know, I don't know, there's been so many bad bombs along the way. I don't bomb anymore, which is nice. I mean, who knows, maybe tomorrow I do, but I don't bomb anymore, which is nice. But I bomb.
- [07:09]
Host 1
I.
- [07:09]
Dusty Slay
You know, I've had some weird corporate events. I did one in Charlotte, North Carolina. It was like a beer event. Like, it was, I forget what company, but Red's Apple Alex was the tent that I was doing. But it was whoever, whoever the parent company for Red's Apple Ale is had a big thing and it was in a convention center. So they had all the tent set up for every alcohol that they own. And then they had a different thing going on. So, like next to me was a booth and they had a dj and then there was my booth, and then the next one was like a dunking booth. And then I was in the middle and I was doing comedy on a high stage behind the bartenders. So there were two girls serving Red Zappo Ale and I was on the behind them on a high stage with a wireless mic. And they wanted me to do three separate 30 minute sets. And I'm just up there and after, you know, five minutes, you're like, no one's listening to me. There's no audience. I'm just talking. I'm just trying. When people come up to get a drink, I'm reading their name tag and trying to make jokes. Jokes. One lady was like, what are you doing up there? So that's probably the worst. Okay, it was pretty good pay, you know, pretty good pay at the time. But even now I don't think I would do it for that pay. Yeah, I wouldn't do that gig.
- [08:32]
Host 2
Those corporate ones are always very interesting because they're always very well lit, as you said. And then there's a lot of people who are just not comfortable laughing. And so I think one way is you find. You gotta find where HR is sitting and just maybe acknowledge that, you know, right off the bat.
- [08:48]
Dusty Slay
That's probably a good idea.
- [08:49]
Host 2
Yeah, yeah.
- [08:50]
Host 1
Ask them to leave.
- [08:51]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [08:52]
Host 1
Leaves so the rest of the company can, you know, let Joy themselves.
- [08:56]
Host 2
Yeah, I say that, but having done that at several corporate shows, it never really is that big of a hit, you know, it's.
- [09:02]
Dusty Slay
It's always show to show, you know, I had a. One guy. He. He was the. Like, the. The. He hired me. He was the head of the event, and he looked like Triple H the wrestler. And I made a joke about him. I was like, I didn't know Triple H worked here. You know, they got no laughs. I was like, come on, guys. This guy looks just like Triple H. And I think they were afraid of him. Yeah, we don't want to make. We don't want to laugh.
- [09:27]
Host 2
Yeah, you don't know those intricate, delicate politics. And if you do make fun of the wrong guy, it puts an awkward thing in there.
- [09:35]
Dusty Slay
And that was the Oklahoma Department of Transportation.
- [09:39]
Host 2
Yeah, you're already.
- [09:41]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, yeah. And they were like. They had the list of all their previous guests, and it was like they had, like, George Bush, Peyton Manning. I was like, oh, it's not going well this year, huh?
- [09:59]
Host 2
No, we just thought we'd try a comedian. Oh, did ya? Yeah. No bonuses either, I'm guessing. Oh, man, that's good. So you live here in Nashville?
- [10:11]
Dusty Slay
Yes.
- [10:11]
Host 2
And you. You got, like a farm or something, right?
- [10:14]
Dusty Slay
Well, I live, you know, I live in a neighborhood, but I do outside of Nashville. I have a little land, and I have a little cabin out there, and I planted some, you know, fruit trees, and I'm trying to do an orchard, but it's an hour and 40 minutes away, so I'm never. I don't get out there much. Yeah, the trees are on their own.
- [10:32]
Host 2
Yeah. Right.
- [10:33]
Dusty Slay
I get out there once in a while, prune them up, try to make things look nice, but, you know, they're on their own out.
- [10:39]
Host 1
You planted them, so your work's kind of done.
- [10:41]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, it's like, hey, it's like survival of the fittest out here. You know, if you can make it, you know, then. Then you're. You're well established.
- [10:48]
Host 1
Like, your parents, when they leave you at home, they just drop a 20 on the table, like, that's for pizza. Good luck.
- [10:54]
Host 2
Turnkey trees is what they are. Yes. Watching a lot of cable.
- [10:58]
Dusty Slay
And then I built. I got videos on it on YouTube, and I built these, like, swales for some of them where it's like, you know, the. Because it's on a hill, the whole thing's an incline, but you build kind of a. As it comes out, you build a Little ditch and then it goes up. Plant the trees on the ridge so as the water comes down it can puddle up in there. So you kind of collect the rain. Yeah, that's soaks in slowly. So that's the plan.
- [11:23]
Host 2
And helps with erosion. Yes, from what I remember from science.
- [11:27]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. And then instead of all your topsoil washing away, it washes into the swales and you get this good, you know, I don't know. Fertilizer rich soil. Yeah, allegedly.
- [11:38]
Host 2
I'm impressed. I'm very impressed by that. Do you have like, you got a little bobcat that year. What kind of toys do you have out there?
- [11:46]
Dusty Slay
Well, I just have a four wheeler and a zero turn. But I think I would like to, you know, I would like to get into a little backhoe stuff like that. Yeah, some kind of thing. I'd like to be able to dig my own holes, you know, like a dabble at least. Yes, yeah, yeah, I know Ginger Billy and he said that's what he has is something like that, you know. Ginger Billy.
- [12:09]
Host 2
Yeah, do.
- [12:10]
Dusty Slay
And he's bought that sort of thing. So he said that's what he does. He just kind of gets to play around.
- [12:14]
Host 1
And this is the second podcast we've done in a row where we've talked about that. There's just nothing better than digging a hole.
- [12:21]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, it is fun.
- [12:22]
Host 2
It, it's great.
- [12:23]
Host 1
Something about moving dirt from point A to point B. It's just all we need is guys to be happy. I feel like, yeah, like if you ever mess with a forklift, it's the same thing. I'm just moving pallets from one place to another. But it's the best time in the world.
- [12:35]
Dusty Slay
It is fun. I used to drive a forklift at Office Depot. It is a good time.
- [12:40]
Host 2
Were you a good forklift operator?
- [12:42]
Host 1
Were you forklift certified?
- [12:43]
Dusty Slay
Now this. I was forklift certified but this was, you know, this is Office Depot. This is not, you know, a giant warehouse. So it's a battery powered forklift. You know, it's not, you know, it's not a gas powered. Yeah, you're not heavy duty tank in back or. Yeah, but it was still pretty fun.
- [13:00]
Host 2
Do you have any forklift accidents?
- [13:03]
Dusty Slay
No, and I should have. I mean I used to. I was high a lot back then and I would, I'd have to go in and. Well, I guess I probably knocked over a pallet. But it's, you know, it didn't, it didn't. It's not like those you see on TV where the guy are on the Internet, where the guy wrecks the whole shelf.
- [13:20]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [13:21]
Dusty Slay
You know, I just tipped one over. But, you know, I would. As people would get fired at Office Depot, they would not rehire anybody. So I would just kind of absorb all these positions. So I was the furniture guy and the stocker, but I would sell someone a piece of furniture. I would go in the back, I would raise the forklift up to where the furniture was at, and then I would climb the shelf, put the furniture on the forklift, climb back down, lower it, put it on a car, and then take them to the register, and I would run the register. I could do it all there.
- [13:53]
Host 2
That's impressive. Yeah. Did they ever put you on the tax accounts before getting let go officially?
- [14:01]
Dusty Slay
I don't know. What do you mean?
- [14:02]
Host 2
Oh, I don't know. Just saying. You do every job there. It was my attempt at a joke, but I think the moment has passed.
- [14:07]
Dusty Slay
No, they never. No, they never even really acknowledged that I could do all these things.
- [14:12]
Host 2
Okay.
- [14:12]
Dusty Slay
They were very disrespectful to me.
- [14:17]
Host 1
It's like the guy in a group project that does all the work. You were that guy, and then everyone else was just getting an A. Yeah.
- [14:22]
Dusty Slay
And they would get mad at me about other. I'm like, guys, I'm doing it all here. Don't be harassing me about things. There was a guy named Roger, and Roger was the receiving man, manager. And the receiving manager position went away. So Roger got moved to a different position, and I took his old job, which wasn't a management position. So now Roger's out on the floor critiquing things. I'm like, I'm doing your old job and my old job, and you're just walking around out here. I got in trouble with Roger a.
- [14:51]
Host 1
Lot, and I can sense it.
- [14:54]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, I got it. They got. They had me in the office one time, and they said we could write you up for insubordination. And I go, I don't even know what that means.
- [15:03]
Host 1
You can't write me up for it if I don't know what it means.
- [15:05]
Host 2
Is that your favorite job that you've done or what was your favorite. Favorite gig?
- [15:12]
Dusty Slay
I don't know that I liked any of them that much. Waiting tables was probably the most fun for me.
- [15:17]
Host 2
Okay.
- [15:18]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. You know, because you're hanging out. It's like, I was living in Charleston, South Carolina, so it's like a college city, beach city. So I didn't go to college, but that's kind of like my college experience. And I'm Working with college age people, and we're drinking and partying, and it's a great time. Yeah, Charleston's a beautiful party city, and I had a great time, you know, as a.
- [15:38]
Host 1
As a waiter.
- [15:39]
Dusty Slay
Were you.
- [15:39]
Host 1
Were you the guy. Would you write it down or would you try and remember it to impress the whole table?
- [15:45]
Dusty Slay
I always wrote it down. It's not worth the risk to try to impress the table. They're not impressed enough when you pull it off versus when you mess up. And they're like, you should have wrote it down when you pull it off.
- [15:58]
Host 1
They're not, like, impressed. They're actually relieved. Yeah, he did get it, right.
- [16:02]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [16:02]
Host 2
Do you wait for people to take their first bite while asking them how the food was, or was it not even a restaurant where you would ask how the food was?
- [16:10]
Dusty Slay
Oh, I would. You know, I would ask, but I would come back. Yeah, I'd give them a second, then you come back.
- [16:14]
Host 1
All right, here's your omelette. How are the first bites tasting? You haven't even.
- [16:19]
Host 2
I feel like that's a new thing. How are the first bites taken? When I was in the service industry, I never asked that at all.
- [16:25]
Host 1
I think that's just because you weren't very good.
- [16:27]
Host 2
I could have been not very good.
- [16:29]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, I like to go, how is it? I don't want to get into how many bites you've had. Yeah, I like to just go, how's it going?
- [16:39]
Host 1
It looks like you got about 10 bites down. How is.
- [16:42]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, 10 bites. Yeah, you've got 10, but you've only got two. You must, you know, it's like you don't want to.
- [16:48]
Host 1
You don't like it.
- [16:49]
Host 2
Yeah, yeah, that's that. I noticed something working at Auntie Anne's as a pretzel roller. I bring that up because it's, you know, it's one of my. I like to name drop Annie Ann every now and again, and I don't.
- [17:03]
Dusty Slay
Know a lot of pretzel rollers.
- [17:05]
Host 2
Oh, yeah. Well, you know.
- [17:06]
Host 1
No, it's.
- [17:06]
Host 2
It's.
- [17:07]
Host 1
Show them the move.
- [17:08]
Host 2
Let me show you.
- [17:09]
Host 1
This is the move. Here we go, Charlie. Oh, yeah.
- [17:13]
Host 2
Okay.
- [17:14]
Dusty Slay
Wow. Oh, okay. That's dough. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. Wow, look at that. A mic chord, pretzel.
- [17:26]
Host 1
There you go.
- [17:27]
Host 2
Yeah. Be impressed, you guys. But with the dough, it's a little bit, you know, more seamless. You'd be more impressed.
- [17:33]
Dusty Slay
I've worked with dough. I used to work at Papa John's, so I messed around with dough a little bit. Yeah.
- [17:38]
Host 2
Did you Notice in the Papa John setting that if there was no line, nobody would come. But as soon as a line started, you would just have a line all day.
- [17:46]
Dusty Slay
Well, I was a delivery guy, okay? So I was. I was in and out. I was manager for a day. I got hired, I got promoted, and then that went. It didn't go as well as I had hoped.
- [17:56]
Host 1
One day. What could someone do in one day to lose?
- [17:59]
Dusty Slay
Well, my manager, he wanted to go to a concert and he had. He was like, do you want to be manager? And I was like, yeah, I'll be the manager. And he gave me a real crash course and then took off. The shift went well, but I didn't grasp any of the closing paperwork. Yeah, he wanted me to print off all the. It was like a Scantron, you know? Remember, those were the dot matrix. And I was like, this was, you know, early 2000s. And I was like, this is. I don't know what's going on. He's like, you staple this and this and count this. And I was like, I don't know, man, but you get out of here. I'll hold it down.
- [18:36]
Host 1
You know, have fun at the concert.
- [18:38]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [18:40]
Host 2
Oh, great. What do you think, Miles? Should we take some calls?
- [18:44]
Host 1
I think we should. Yeah. Let's do it. Bellied up it is. This is Miles, Charlie, and the comedian Dusty Slay is on the line with you.
- [18:53]
Dusty Slay
All right, Gabe, we're having a good time.
- [18:56]
Caller 1
Hey.
- [19:01]
Dusty Slay
Okay.
- [19:03]
Host 1
So. So, Gabe, we hear you clean Porta Potties.
- [19:07]
Caller 1
Yep, I. I do.
- [19:09]
Host 1
Let's hear about it. What's going on in the Porta Potty game these days?
- [19:13]
Caller 1
Man?
- [19:13]
Dusty Slay
I don't know.
- [19:14]
Caller 1
I don't know how to start this off. I mean, just got into it, and like anyone else would say it's a pretty shitty business.
- [19:22]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [19:22]
Host 2
Nice, nice. I see what you did there, Gabe. Now, listen, I want to ask you, what inspired you to get into the Porta Pot biz?
- [19:33]
Caller 1
Well, long story short, I'm actually going to school for engineering. And they always say, well, if you want to become an engineer, you know, you have to know what's going on in the job site. So I decided to choose this job.
- [19:47]
Dusty Slay
Are you looking to engineer Porta Potties?
- [19:50]
Caller 1
Oh, yeah.
- [19:51]
Host 2
No.
- [19:52]
Dusty Slay
Okay.
- [19:52]
Caller 1
I'm in the buildings behind the porta potties.
- [19:55]
Host 2
But, okay, you guys start somewhere, though.
- [19:58]
Caller 1
Got to start somewhere. Got to get on the job site.
- [20:00]
Host 1
Yeah, it's like. They're like, you know, start from the bottom, work your way up. And you're like, I don't know if you need to start that far in the bottom.
- [20:07]
Dusty Slay
Well, let me. When you're cleaning them, are you like, once they' at the, you know, the, the lot, are you cleaning them or you go in with like a spray bottle and you're wiping down the seat? I'm just trying to get a gauge of what's going on.
- [20:20]
Caller 1
Oh, you know, the boss man, he's pretty hard on me when it comes to cleaning. So you got to get in there, you gotta, you gotta completely suck them out and make sure they're all cleaned up for the next day and, you know, get the new toilet paper in.
- [20:34]
Dusty Slay
And, well, it's under, it's underappreciated. I'm sure you don't get enough thanks about it, but we appreciate it when we' them and they've been, you know, freshly sucked out.
- [20:45]
Host 1
When I used to work concrete construction, it was always the buzz of the job site whenever we found a clean porta potty around the job site. You know what I mean? Not every.
- [20:55]
Dusty Slay
It wasn't clean for long, I'll tell you that.
- [20:57]
Host 1
You wanted, you wanted to find it first. You want to be a first one in there.
- [21:00]
Dusty Slay
I mean, I don't know. I. I never done construction, but I have worked at Home Depot and I know what they're doing to that bathroom in there. And that was flush.
- [21:11]
Host 1
That's true. What would you do about. Would. Would have to remove all of the, like, markers and stuff that they would write. You know, call this number for a good time. Would you have to remove that or do you guys just say it? We're just gonna let it ride and not clean that off?
- [21:28]
Caller 1
Man, as much as I'd love to keep those there because they are a fun time to read.
- [21:33]
Dusty Slay
Fun time to call.
- [21:35]
Caller 1
They are a fun time to call. I think I found your guys's phone number up on one of those.
- [21:40]
Host 1
Did you?
- [21:42]
Host 2
I had a feeling. That's calling in right now.
- [21:45]
Host 1
Actually a good way to my wife.
- [21:49]
Host 2
What's, what's the weirdest thing that you found in a porta potty when cleaning it out?
- [21:56]
Caller 1
Weirdest thing I found either written on.
- [21:59]
Host 2
The wall or just left in there.
- [22:00]
Dusty Slay
Some. Yeah, like some trinkets or something.
- [22:04]
Caller 1
I mean, some, some of those guys, they're, they're pretty smart. They put whole, you know, news articles and, and, you know, funny toilet times and all that.
- [22:17]
Dusty Slay
What about in the thing, though? Do you ever find like an old cell phone or a watch or a ring, a wig? Yeah, maybe Superman's changing in there.
- [22:30]
Caller 1
Oh, just the usual stuff. You Know, soda bottles and those. Some of those guys out there, they love drinking their beer while. Wow.
- [22:42]
Dusty Slay
Nothing like chugging a Miller Light on the Porta John.
- [22:47]
Host 1
Degrees out here.
- [22:48]
Dusty Slay
Just sweating in there.
- [22:50]
Caller 1
There was one time, though. The. The dude had to have taken every single article of clothing off and threw him in there, and that wasn't a great time for me, but people are hotter sometimes. T shirt. Oh, yeah.
- [23:03]
Host 1
Either that or he didn't make it to the pool.
- [23:06]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, that could be.
- [23:07]
Host 1
It's like my kid at the last wedding to. We got to put him in the nice outfit with the little bow tie. It was so cute. And then he himself went all over. Yeah, so we just had to dump the outfit in the bathroom. Same thing with that guy.
- [23:20]
Host 2
Did you get a picture first?
- [23:21]
Host 1
At least we got one picture. That was it. My wife was disappointed.
- [23:24]
Dusty Slay
I like that you left that for the people cleaning up after the wedding. Hey, we're dumping this. We're just telling them we didn't dress our kid up.
- [23:33]
Host 2
Did you always throw it out, or did you just leave it in case.
- [23:36]
Host 1
No, no, no. We threw it away in the garbage. Yeah. Don't.
- [23:39]
Host 2
Yeah, you didn't. You didn't put that. Like, I would take the bag, put in the bag, zip it up tight, and then put in the wash when you get home that way.
- [23:47]
Host 1
Well, so we had to do that with the next outfit.
- [23:49]
Host 2
Oh, okay.
- [23:49]
Host 1
So we didn't bring an extra outfit. So then I. We had to borrow another outfit from my niece.
- [23:54]
Dusty Slay
Ah, well, what would Gabe do in this situation?
- [23:57]
Host 1
That's true.
- [24:00]
Caller 1
That's all going trash.
- [24:02]
Dusty Slay
Okay.
- [24:02]
Caller 1
Yeah, there's. There's no messing with that.
- [24:05]
Dusty Slay
Have you ever found anything valuable? You ever find a watch down in the. Down in the pooper?
- [24:12]
Caller 1
Fortunately, no, not yet. I mean, I still got my. My time put in, but, yeah, nothing yet. Nothing too valuable.
- [24:20]
Host 1
Is it as shitty as we think cleaning Porta Potties is, or is it not so bad? It's like, does it get a bad rap?
- [24:29]
Caller 1
Honestly, it's not that bad. I mean, the summer heats aren't very great right now. It's not too bad, but honestly, I don't really touch anything gross.
- [24:37]
Caller 2
And.
- [24:38]
Caller 1
And, you know, some of those guys, they go out there and they put the whole hazmat suit and the gloves on. But I'm not too worried about that.
- [24:47]
Dusty Slay
One time, I was doing a gig, and I needed to use the bathroom, and the bathroom was like. It was a restaurant, and the bathroom was, like, right there in the restaurant. And I was like, I don't Know how this is gonna be. And I'm about to do a gig here. I don't want to blow this thing up and then go, hey, let's do some comedy. So I went out back, I found a porta potty and pooped in there. And it was worth it. I was very happy that. I mean, it seemed disgusting. And I think it would have been worse if people in the restaurant go, is that the comedian out in the porta potty? But I did it.
- [25:23]
Host 2
And I think that really shows what kind of guy you are.
- [25:27]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [25:28]
Host 2
You know, a stand up guy. And showing Gabe your appreciation for the porta pot business, I think we've all have had a port a pot story where it saved us.
- [25:36]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. And you know, another time I was in an Amish part of Tennessee and I was using the porta potty there and I. And the lock on the porta potty was not good. Like, I turned it, but I didn't la. It didn't latch.
- [25:50]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [25:50]
Dusty Slay
And then this Amish lady opened the door on me and I may have ruined her life. Wow.
- [25:57]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [25:57]
Dusty Slay
She ran away.
- [25:58]
Host 2
She probably never seen anything.
- [25:59]
Dusty Slay
I know she ran away. And I still think about it.
- [26:04]
Host 2
Wow.
- [26:05]
Host 1
Imagining, like, what ruined your life is. Is not that you were. And that your pants are down, it's how you were sitting.
- [26:11]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [26:11]
Host 1
It's one leg up on the side just kind of like.
- [26:14]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, it's kicking back. And I was reading a magazine, Amish Weekly.
- [26:21]
Host 2
Yeah. I mean, you did bring up being a hot before. Are you a guy who takes your shirt off?
- [26:25]
Dusty Slay
I've taken my shirt off a few times. Yeah. I mean, when you. It's like. Yeah. You get in there and you're like, this, this is a work's gonna need to be put. Take my socks off and my shirt.
- [26:36]
Host 1
Yeah. Sometimes, like, just so I can focus, I'll just set my phone down. You know, it's like on the. On the tub side of the tub, you're like, all right, that's gonna go there. I gotta really focus here.
- [26:45]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. You can feel a lot of pressure inside. And then you take the pants out, you're like, I just gotta strip down here. I gotta. I'm gonna be in here for a minute. Let's get comfortable.
- [26:56]
Host 1
What's kind of funny?
- [26:57]
Dusty Slay
It's gonna fan like in marriage.
- [27:00]
Host 1
In marriage. My wife now knows when I need to struggle.
- [27:04]
Dusty Slay
Oh, really?
- [27:05]
Host 2
Based off of the way you're walking.
- [27:06]
Host 1
How bad my farts are, how I'm walking. Yeah.
- [27:09]
Host 2
Oh, wow.
- [27:09]
Host 1
So sometimes you just be like, do you need to. Do you need to go to the. So it's again, I'm just like a toddler these days.
- [27:15]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [27:16]
Host 2
Is there a certain piece of media that really kind of gets you in the mood to relax and. And get it going there? Like, is there. Is there an Instagram account that makes you nervous and that just allows things to happen?
- [27:29]
Dusty Slay
I don't think so. I wish. I don't mind. I like to watch an old school wrestling video while I'm. While I'm po.
- [27:35]
Host 2
Really?
- [27:36]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, like a cold. Yeah, yeah, something like that. Ric Flair. I love a old wrestling clip.
- [27:42]
Host 2
Do you remember the Crusher?
- [27:44]
Dusty Slay
No.
- [27:45]
Host 2
Oh, Milwaukee guy.
- [27:46]
Dusty Slay
Okay, the Crusher.
- [27:48]
Host 2
And when you're in Milwaukee, there's a statue to him.
- [27:51]
Dusty Slay
I'll look him up next. Poop. I'll look up the crusher.
- [27:54]
Host 2
Yeah, yeah, There you go. You'll thank me later. Yeah. Hey, Gabe, is there any way as an engineer that you could revolutionize the porta pot business? You know, have you been thinking about that? Like, how do you really, really change the porta pot game?
- [28:11]
Caller 1
Oh, this is kind of why I wanted to call in. You know, I have my ideas, but I want to know specifically for Miles, since he. He was in the whole construction business, I want to know from the guys themselves what I can do to make it better.
- [28:26]
Host 2
Oh, what a great guy. What a great.
- [28:28]
Host 1
I mean, your boss is gonna love it, but just better toilet paper would be nice. You know, that's one thing I think you should always spend money on, is toilet paper.
- [28:37]
Dusty Slay
What about bidets in the porta Potty?
- [28:40]
Host 1
Wow, now we're talking, like, using rain water.
- [28:43]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, rain water bidets.
- [28:45]
Host 1
And you know, you're not. You're not gonna get. You're not gonna get power out there. So they just put like a pedal in front of you, like.
- [28:53]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, you gotta pump it. Yeah, you pump it with your feet.
- [28:56]
Host 1
And it just splashes water.
- [28:57]
Host 2
Yeah, yeah, that's like a portable great idea. You can put a water tower on top of the porta potty. You know, the whole top just catches.
- [29:07]
Host 1
The rainwater and it goes down and then you pedal and it splashes on your ass.
- [29:11]
Host 2
I mean, this is. This is. We are cooking with gas right now. I feel like we got a patent, this thing. Gabe, you're a business partner with us now.
- [29:20]
Caller 1
Oh, yeah. I might have to talk to my boss up with that, and if he doesn't like it, I'll just go out and start my own company then.
- [29:26]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, see, exactly.
- [29:28]
Host 2
You're a disruptor is what that's called.
- [29:31]
Dusty Slay
Oh, yeah, and take over the name John. You know, you're like, it's a Port of Gabe.
- [29:35]
Caller 2
Now.
- [29:40]
Dusty Slay
You'Ve heard of the Porta John, but now try the Porta Gabe. It's got like a cooler in there. You can. It's a vending machine in there.
- [29:48]
Caller 1
Toilet paper.
- [29:49]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [29:49]
Host 2
And you should have a guy in there that's, you know that guy in those high end bathrooms that's like pulling out the paper for you. You should have a guy in your Porta Pots who's just making sure everything's okay.
- [30:00]
Dusty Slay
This is what I think. You two options. You have, you have the free Porta Potty that everybody can use, and then you have a Porta Potty that costs five bucks. Yeah, but that one has some luxury to it.
- [30:11]
Host 1
Yeah, it's kind of like a, like a. The Delta Sky Lounge in the airport.
- [30:15]
Dusty Slay
That's what I'm saying. You could get a monthly pass. So if you're on the construction site, you get your little key fob. It scans your. You're paying monthly for. That's the Portuguese. Yeah.
- [30:24]
Host 2
Padded seats.
- [30:25]
Host 1
It's got gold bond in there.
- [30:26]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. Get a little chafing going on on the work side.
- [30:31]
Host 2
Yeah, that's a good idea.
- [30:34]
Caller 1
I like your guys better.
- [30:35]
Host 2
More.
- [30:35]
Caller 1
More than what I was thinking.
- [30:37]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [30:38]
Host 1
It sounds crazy to have a subscription service to a Porta Potty, but there are so many people that would sign up.
- [30:45]
Dusty Slay
I would pay for that. Just in the city. Any, any city you're in, there should be a thing, an op, you know, like a pay bathroom in here. So it's like you're out here walking around, you got to pee. You can't find any place. You got to go into a bar, pretend like you're going to buy a drink just to use the bathroom. Give us. Just paid to give us the option.
- [31:04]
Host 2
Yeah, yeah. A lot of people do have some extra cash to pay for that luxury. If you think about all the other things we're spending money on. $5 on a coffee these days, you're.
- [31:13]
Dusty Slay
Buying a coffee just to poop. I'll just spend the money to poop.
- [31:17]
Host 2
Yeah. That would save coffee.
- [31:20]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [31:21]
Host 2
That would send the price of coffee back down for everyone.
- [31:23]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. And it's on Google Maps, you know, you just type it in. Where are the bathrooms? It pops up.
- [31:28]
Host 2
The Portuguese.
- [31:29]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, Portuguese.
- [31:30]
Host 2
Or there's an app for Portuguese. And then think about all that data. Collect.
- [31:34]
Host 1
Well, so, yeah.
- [31:35]
Caller 1
So now you're thinking.
- [31:37]
Host 1
Yeah, we came up with an app for Porta Potties. When I was working construction, because again, it's like you never know where a good one is. And it was Porta Potty app where you would drop a pin if there was a Porta Potty there and then you would rate it. So then the other construction workers be like, this one's got a two star. I don't want to go there. If I go two blocks over, there's one that's got four stars. I'll probably go to that one.
- [32:03]
Host 2
Only for so long though.
- [32:05]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [32:05]
Dusty Slay
And the ratings change drastically quick. Yeah.
- [32:09]
Host 1
And then it's like you link it up with the Porta Gabes and then they can come service something that's really out of commission.
- [32:15]
Host 2
Smart. Very smart.
- [32:16]
Host 1
And then the whole motto was drop a poo, drop a pin.
- [32:20]
Dusty Slay
Because that's the real problem going on out here. Right. Is like, we all know that we got to pee and poop out here. Everybody, we all got to do it. But yet there are some of these cities are like holding us hostage on it. They're like, oh no, we don't have any public restrooms. And it's like, why not though? You know, I gotta do it.
- [32:37]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [32:37]
Dusty Slay
I don't want to do it. I'm not out here going, I hope I gotta pee. You know, it just happens.
- [32:42]
Host 2
It does happen.
- [32:43]
Dusty Slay
And then you want to give me a ticket if I'm peeing on the playground.
- [32:46]
Host 2
Right.
- [32:46]
Dusty Slay
You know what I mean?
- [32:51]
Host 1
Yeah. We've had a lot of issues with people just pissing outside our building. It's like, well, let them go to the bathroom in the building.
- [32:57]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [32:58]
Host 2
You know, it's not, it's. It's a pretty easy resolve here. I think we're onto something with this.
- [33:04]
Host 1
Some places now they, they let you go to the bathroom, but they make it so hard, you gotta go talk to a specific person that is the holder of the key to get into the bathroom.
- [33:14]
Dusty Slay
Oh, yeah. Oh, the key code.
- [33:16]
Host 1
And then an eye scanner, retina scanner just to get you into the bathroom.
- [33:20]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [33:21]
Dusty Slay
We need key fobs.
- [33:22]
Host 2
Anytime you're getting a key that's attached to like a big spoon or something or a ruler, you know.
- [33:28]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [33:29]
Host 2
You know that you're probably in for a questionable situation.
- [33:32]
Dusty Slay
Oh, yes. The people holding the bathroom the most hostage are the worst ones.
- [33:36]
Host 2
Yeah. They're the ones who have not cleaned that bathroom for at least a week.
- [33:40]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. They hold the key just so the Department of Health can't get in.
- [33:46]
Caller 1
Well, back to the border bodies, the premium ones. Everyone that pays for it should get their own Key so they'll never have to deal with that or other breaking into it that don't have the subscription and.
- [33:59]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, yeah. And if you get caught, death penalty. If you get caught using it and you're not paying for it, death penalty.
- [34:06]
Host 2
It's that simple. Yeah, that would suck so bad.
- [34:12]
Host 1
It's running down your leg and you're like, if I do this, I'll die.
- [34:16]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [34:17]
Host 1
So I just have to do it right here outside.
- [34:19]
Host 2
Or pay five dollars a month. Yeah, that's. Or five bucks a month.
- [34:22]
Host 1
You're like doing the little like dance of like I gotta go. And you're like trying to plug in your credit card information to the app.
- [34:28]
Host 2
It's like get into trying to park. Every time you park, you gotta fill out a new app for those things. Oh, yeah, that's annoying. You gotta make it easy, an easy add on. Well, Gabe, I feel like we got a good business cooking, man. Anything else you want to say about the gay Gabe? Porta Gabes? Yeah.
- [34:47]
Caller 1
I'll give you guys 20%.
- [34:49]
Dusty Slay
Oh, wow.
- [34:50]
Host 1
Well, we'll take nothing less than 60.
- [34:53]
Dusty Slay
Well, we gotta have 20. There's three hosts here. We gotta have 20.
- [34:57]
Host 1
20 each is what he said.
- [34:58]
Host 2
Yeah. Two times three, that's six.
- [35:00]
Host 1
Oh, okay.
- [35:01]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, it's a good.
- [35:02]
Host 1
Don't worry, you'll still be majority owner.
- [35:04]
Dusty Slay
We'll put up some funding. Right, guys?
- [35:13]
Host 1
All right, Gabe, well, we appreciate you calling in today and stay safe out there and good luck getting your engineering degree.
- [35:23]
Caller 1
Oh, thank you. Appreciate you guys of you guys.
- [35:27]
Host 1
All right, love you, man.
- [35:28]
Host 2
Have a good one. I gotta tell you, Miles, you remember a couple years ago when I bought that hog? That Harley Davidson 1998 Sportster?
- [35:38]
Host 1
Yep.
- [35:39]
Host 2
1200Cc. Dynamite. Well, I gotta tell you, it's scary to ride a motorcycle these days because everyone's out there on their phones. They're missing your blinkers and everything. You know, you can be riding perfectly on that motor hog, but other people may not be driving, may not be seen, may not be paying attention to you. Well, what do you do if you get hit?
- [36:02]
Host 1
I call Nicolette.
- [36:03]
Host 2
You call Nicolet right away because Nicolae will get you taken care of. They'll get you that money that you deserve from the insurance companies you need. And listen, always wear your helmet, okay? Because if you don't have a head, can't call Nicolet.
- [36:15]
Host 1
Don't lose your head.
- [36:16]
Host 2
Don't lose your head. Call Nicolet now.
- [36:18]
Host 1
Hi, is this Stacy?
- [36:21]
Caller 2
It is, yeah.
- [36:22]
Host 1
Stacy, you got Miles, Charlie and Dusty Slay on the Line from the Bellied up podcast. I hear that you don't want to go to your sister's wedding. Can you tell us what's going on there?
- [36:37]
Caller 2
Absolutely not. I do not want to go.
- [36:41]
Host 1
Hold on, Stacy. Hold on one sec. Hello?
- [36:45]
Dusty Slay
Your sister hacked into the lawn.
- [36:47]
Host 2
Yeah, she's not happy about this. You have good service over there, or is that us?
- [36:55]
Caller 2
Not really. I'm in a power outage area that we haven't had power for a. So.
- [37:01]
Dusty Slay
Well, tell your sister you didn't get the invitation. Right.
- [37:05]
Caller 2
There we go.
- [37:07]
Host 2
Yeah, you call her right now, she'll only get half of it. Hey, I can't. To your wedding.
- [37:13]
Dusty Slay
This an Evite, right?
- [37:16]
Caller 2
Yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to have that excuse. You can't come. Is this a little bit better or no?
- [37:22]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, it is.
- [37:24]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [37:25]
Caller 2
Okay.
- [37:25]
Host 1
So why don't you want to go to your sister's wedding?
- [37:29]
Caller 2
I mean, the long and the short. She's just a bitch. I just really don't want to go. It's one of those things. Moved away from home and just moved to the big city and just kind of. This became a bitch, to put it as bluntly as can be.
- [37:47]
Host 2
Big city of what? It's just like my Cedar Rapids talking. What's the big city?
- [37:53]
Caller 2
Unfortunately, Charlie, it's Milwaukee.
- [37:56]
Host 2
Oh, wow. The big city of Milwaukee.
- [38:00]
Dusty Slay
Big time.
- [38:01]
Host 2
Jeez Louise.
- [38:02]
Caller 2
I have absolutely nothing against Milwaukee, I promise.
- [38:07]
Host 2
Okay, well, what city are you in?
- [38:10]
Caller 2
Well, I am up in Northern Michigan.
- [38:13]
Dusty Slay
Upper Peninsula.
- [38:14]
Caller 2
40 miles? No, north. Lower. Okay, so I'm about 40 miles.
- [38:22]
Host 2
Sounds like it.
- [38:25]
Caller 2
Yes. Yes, it does.
- [38:27]
Host 1
All right, so what kind of.
- [38:29]
Caller 2
Kind of. She's also. She's also a pastor, and she's always doing this, oh, my life is so hard. I'm a pastor. Blah, whatever. And it's like. Okay. And if he keeps doing this. Sorry, go ahead.
- [38:43]
Host 1
Yeah, just the classic pastor, you know?
- [38:45]
Host 2
Classic sister.
- [38:47]
Dusty Slay
Right.
- [38:47]
Host 1
When I think of pastor, that's what I think I was. Oh, my life is so hard.
- [38:52]
Caller 2
Right? Nothing. I mean, nothing. I mean, it's also. I'm also an atheist conversation, so.
- [39:01]
Dusty Slay
Well, just tell her women aren't supposed to be pastors.
- [39:06]
Caller 2
Oh, simple this, simple that. It's like there is not gonna be a damn thing about this thing that's gonna be simple.
- [39:12]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [39:13]
Caller 2
Glorified family picnic.
- [39:15]
Dusty Slay
Simple or sinful?
- [39:19]
Caller 2
What's that?
- [39:19]
Dusty Slay
Simple or sinful? I don't know what you're saying.
- [39:22]
Caller 2
Simple.
- [39:23]
Dusty Slay
Simple. Okay.
- [39:24]
Host 1
I mean, what kind of low key. What kind of bitchy behavior are we talking about?
- [39:30]
Caller 2
Support I can't afford this. Then make changes. Do something.
- [39:35]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [39:37]
Caller 2
And I have nothing against the guy she's marrying. I have only met him once, when she brought him to my wedding. You know, nothing against him, but it's just kind of like. I don't know, she's just a.
- [39:50]
Dusty Slay
She came to your wedding, though. You gotta go to hers. Yeah.
- [39:54]
Caller 2
Yeah, unfortunately.
- [39:55]
Dusty Slay
I was gonna tell you just to start, not go, and then stop even talking to her. That's what I would do. But she came. I would love to do that. Do it right.
- [40:04]
Caller 2
Yeah. And my family, just in general, just. They drive me that banana to begin with. And it's just my dad doesn't want to go there. And it's like my mom is the only one who was excited this thing. And like, my mom never even offered to me any kind of bridal shower and this whole hoopla for her.
- [40:22]
Host 1
Okay, here we go. We're starting to see the layers.
- [40:26]
Host 2
We found it out. You're the daddy's girl, she's the mom, mama's girl, and you're both jealous of each other. Now, when she was going.
- [40:34]
Caller 2
Jealous?
- [40:34]
Host 2
Oh, right. No, definitely not. Definitely not jealous at all. When she was going to your wedding, do you think she was calling in a podcast saying how much of a you are? Or do you think that this is a one way?
- [40:48]
Caller 2
I don't know.
- [40:49]
Host 2
Okay, That's.
- [40:50]
Caller 2
That's. She can do whatever she wants. She's an adult.
- [40:53]
Host 2
Sounds like a. Maybe she was also.
- [40:56]
Caller 2
It could be all these suggestions. Total judgy, glorified picnic that we had, and that was the day she wants to have.
- [41:07]
Dusty Slay
But do you think maybe when you guys are having phone calls, you're just getting lost in a miscommunication here? Maybe you're just. You're not communicating well because your signals. Bad.
- [41:20]
Caller 2
Yeah.
- [41:21]
Dusty Slay
Sorry.
- [41:21]
Caller 2
I'm really sorry.
- [41:23]
Host 2
Don't be sorry. We just. We just wonder if there's a beautiful relationship. Relationship budding underneath. You know, the resentment. Yeah. Yeah.
- [41:33]
Caller 2
We used to be pretty close. I mean, get each other. But I mean, we. I mean, once you move away from home and all that big, all that stuff and. But it's just like, I don't even know who she is anymore. And I just like, I don't want to go to this thing. I got my husband out of it. But I. I mean, she. I have to stand up with her and do the full bridesmaid thing. It's like. I mean, it was kind of a. I'm. She definitely asked me only of like, I. Whatever. I Think I just.
- [42:03]
Dusty Slay
This is what I think. I think you go have a few drinks when the bridesmaids are giving the speeches, you take the mic, let all this out at the wedding on the mic. Be like this moved away to the big city and we're all sick of it.
- [42:18]
Host 1
Just do a stand up.
- [42:20]
Caller 2
Sound like a dream come true.
- [42:21]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [42:22]
Host 1
You turn it into an episode of Jerry Springer.
- [42:24]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. You know, film it, put it on the Internet if you're going there.
- [42:28]
Host 2
Yeah, that's solid. Move. And we'll. We'll help you write it. We'll spitball it with you too.
- [42:34]
Caller 2
Wonderful.
- [42:35]
Dusty Slay
What's her name?
- [42:37]
Caller 2
I.
- [42:40]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [42:41]
Host 2
Teresa. The pastor. Mother Teresa. Yeah, exactly.
- [42:46]
Dusty Slay
Oh, here we go.
- [42:47]
Caller 2
Always. I mean, woe is me and just always centered and just like good heaven.
- [42:55]
Dusty Slay
What she says, what she say is hard. What's hard about being the past pastor?
- [42:59]
Caller 2
Oh, you know, I just tune it out. I don't even know. Maybe having to like, talk to people. Oh, it's just so hard to write sermons and.
- [43:08]
Dusty Slay
Sounds like neither one of you like really talking to people.
- [43:14]
Caller 2
I mean, it's the Midwest. We can't talk about our feelings.
- [43:16]
Dusty Slay
You're like, she's a. But I don't know, I never listen to her.
- [43:23]
Host 1
It sounds like every like 45 year old guy who's giving up on life talking about his wife. She's a.
- [43:29]
Dusty Slay
Here we go.
- [43:30]
Host 1
Stop. Listen to her.
- [43:31]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [43:32]
Caller 2
Y.
- [43:33]
Host 2
Is there any.
- [43:34]
Caller 2
I'm trying to figure out a way to like, for like duck out and go to a bar somewhere and just like ignore.
- [43:42]
Host 1
But yeah, I think you should definitely make the whole day about you. You know, I think you should definitely dip out early and get everyone pissed off and totally hijack the day. That's always a good plan.
- [43:52]
Dusty Slay
Just take an edible before I go. Does everyone, anybody would notice, take a really potent edible and then just go. And then that way you'll be so paranoid about yourself, you'll actually start to enjoy your sister.
- [44:07]
Caller 2
There we go.
- [44:07]
Host 1
Yeah. Oh, my God. Do I actually love her?
- [44:10]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, you know, do ecstasy, maybe. Then you will.
- [44:14]
Host 1
There we go.
- [44:14]
Caller 2
Now we're talking.
- [44:15]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [44:15]
Host 2
Then you will love her. Is there any silver lining? You see any family members that you're excited to reconnect with at the wedding?
- [44:25]
Dusty Slay
That's a good question.
- [44:27]
Caller 2
I saw them all. Probably. I mean, all the ones that I would. It's not a bit. We don't have a big family. And all the ones that, I mean, I guess I would be. I saw a couple weeks at her bridal shore and like, I only See them like once or twice a year anyway, like, I'm good for you.
- [44:48]
Dusty Slay
So no one?
- [44:49]
Host 1
No, not really.
- [44:52]
Dusty Slay
I think we're seeing that maybe you might be the problem of the family. I don't know. Is that. You think that's okay? Okay. Okay, good.
- [45:01]
Caller 2
Sure could be.
- [45:02]
Dusty Slay
All right. Well, I like that you're upfront about it.
- [45:04]
Host 2
Yeah. You seem to have a good self awareness on this situation.
- [45:08]
Host 1
So what did her bridal shower have that yours didn't, that you're so upset about?
- [45:14]
Caller 2
It existed. It happened. I didn't even. I didn't. I didn't have one.
- [45:19]
Dusty Slay
Sounds like the problem's your mom, though. I mean, I'll be honest with you. Your mom's causing division. She's causing division here.
- [45:26]
Caller 2
Yeah. I mean she. I mean. Yes.
- [45:29]
Dusty Slay
It's not right that your mom did that to you, though. She didn't do a bridal shower for you, but she did one for your sister. That's not right.
- [45:34]
Host 1
That's not right.
- [45:35]
Caller 2
Oh, yeah.
- [45:35]
Host 2
I think you should bring it up on the wedding day, perhaps during the speech.
- [45:40]
Caller 2
Yeah, absolutely. I don't think that they're like doing speeches. I don't know. I haven't been asked to do one. Thank God.
- [45:49]
Host 1
I can't imagine why.
- [45:51]
Caller 2
Right, exactly.
- [45:54]
Host 2
Well, the thing about a wedding is if there's a microphone there, no one's going to stop you from taking that microphone. So I think you got to take what's yours and you just gotta get it off your chest, as Dusty said.
- [46:07]
Dusty Slay
And maybe, maybe even take it, maybe even take it the other way though, right? You take the mic and you just get real delusional with it and you talk about how close you and your sister are and how much everything reverse. Yeah. Just say it's been really nice over the last few years. I love that you've moved to Milwaukee. I get to come and visit you in the big city. We go to the fawn statue together and.
- [46:30]
Caller 2
Right.
- [46:32]
Host 1
I love your, your messages on Sunday mornings. They're so great.
- [46:35]
Dusty Slay
You're a good pastor every week. Yeah. My. I'm even thinking of not being an atheist based on your sermons.
- [46:43]
Host 1
Yeah. You should definitely bring up your atheism at her wedding. That would be a good move.
- [46:48]
Caller 2
Yeah. It's not even something that like my family knows. It's like that.
- [46:54]
Dusty Slay
But don't be an atheist just because of your sister.
- [46:58]
Caller 2
No, no. Like that's just not something Emily knows that, like that. That believe in you on.
- [47:08]
Host 2
I wonder if you prayed more if you might have better cell phone service.
- [47:12]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [47:12]
Host 2
You know, you should try asking the good Lord for some of those.
- [47:15]
Host 1
What do you. You have, like, cricket wireless or what's going on? Going on?
- [47:19]
Caller 2
No, we're just in the middle of effing nowhere, and we haven't had power for 11 days. The cell service is. The tower keeps collapsing up on Hill, and it's the whole situation.
- [47:30]
Host 1
Sounds like you need to move to Milwaukee. They have great service.
- [47:34]
Caller 2
There we go. We have better cell phone coverage.
- [47:36]
Host 2
Yeah. The thing about big cities is you can hear every word you say.
- [47:40]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [47:40]
Host 2
You know, right?
- [47:42]
Caller 2
Yeah, that would be great.
- [47:44]
Host 2
Yeah. I don't know that we solved anything on this phone call, but I think we all understand each other better, you.
- [47:50]
Dusty Slay
Know, I like that you just agree with us. You're like, there you go.
- [47:55]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [47:56]
Dusty Slay
And you're very agreeable for someone that hates their sister and the Lord, right?
- [48:05]
Caller 2
I do my best.
- [48:06]
Host 2
Yeah. When was the last time you. Did you grow up in the church? Church was that young. Oh, you did. Okay. So you're the one rebelling. She's the one embracing.
- [48:20]
Caller 2
Right, got it.
- [48:21]
Host 2
You guys went polar opposite ways there. Holy smokes.
- [48:25]
Caller 2
Yeah.
- [48:25]
Host 2
What?
- [48:26]
Caller 2
Yeah, we went polar opposite a lot of ways. And, I mean, even our jobs, too. It's like she still kind of thinks that she, I mean, understands me this now. There's a week, four months straight, pretty much. And, no, working at a camp is not easy, so.
- [48:47]
Host 2
Oh, you work at a camp?
- [48:50]
Caller 2
I do.
- [48:51]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [48:51]
Caller 2
I work at a campus retreat center. Instant housekeeping and all that kind of stuff. Everything in between.
- [48:59]
Host 2
Oh. Camps are basically a form of religion anyway, if you think about it, and.
- [49:04]
Dusty Slay
You seem a little woe as me about it, I think you and your sister are a lot alike.
- [49:11]
Host 1
Are you twins?
- [49:12]
Dusty Slay
I'd like to get her on the phone. I'd like to get Teresa on the phone here.
- [49:16]
Host 1
Well, that's what we talked about. We talked to a lot of these people. We got to get the other side of the story.
- [49:21]
Dusty Slay
Oh, yeah.
- [49:22]
Host 1
But we would be bartending, Right? Do that podcast.
- [49:28]
Host 2
You got Teresa's number. Can we give her call, see if we can work this out?
- [49:33]
Caller 2
I mean, come on, it's Milwaukee. Don't you have it?
- [49:35]
Host 2
I don't know. I gotta go to the places where there are pastors. I'm Catholic, so we. We.
- [49:41]
Caller 2
Oh, okay.
- [49:41]
Host 2
We call them priests. You know, certainly your sister wouldn't fly. Yeah, not quite right yet. Give it a few decades. Yeah.
- [49:50]
Host 1
She could be a nun, though, if she wants.
- [49:52]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [49:52]
Host 1
But it kind of just sounds like you're going through your Angsty teenager phase, you know, like you, mom, you know, rebel against everything. I hate everyone. All of that.
- [50:06]
Dusty Slay
I think get out of town, you know, get some space. Maybe you get out of town, get some space, you'll be like, oh, you know what? Teresa's on to something here. You got to get away from this family.
- [50:21]
Host 2
Do you have a good therapist or bartender that you see on a regular basis? Basis.
- [50:27]
Caller 2
Bartender, absolutely.
- [50:28]
Host 2
Bartender. Nice.
- [50:30]
Host 1
That's all you need.
- [50:31]
Host 2
Well, we gave you a good starting point here, and I think you take what, you know, reflect on what we've said here, take that to your bartender and just do weekly checkups on where you're at, you know?
- [50:44]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. This conversation has gone belly up, I think.
- [50:47]
Host 2
I think so. Yeah.
- [50:48]
Host 1
That was like when we named the podcast. We're like, we need to make sure it's bellied up. Otherwise it's just belly up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [50:57]
Host 2
But if you do get better service, call us back because we may have misheard some of the stuff that you said, but we do hope that you and your sister at the end of the day, find the peace and the love that you both so deserve.
- [51:16]
Caller 2
I'm gonna hold my breath.
- [51:19]
Host 2
Well, don't do it too long.
- [51:21]
Caller 2
Thank you for the. Right.
- [51:24]
Host 1
Yeah, just.
- [51:25]
Caller 2
But thanks for the advice.
- [51:27]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [51:28]
Host 1
Just do some drugs before.
- [51:32]
Dusty Slay
I recommend ecstasy or LSD before the wedding and just let it all hang out and then let them go. I forgot your name, but let them go. Has fallen apart.
- [51:45]
Host 2
Yeah, yeah, smart.
- [51:47]
Host 1
Whatever you do, just hijack the whole wedding from your sister. That's actually the best way to get back. Back at her.
- [51:52]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [51:53]
Host 1
There we go. Well, thanks for calling in today. We appreciate it.
- [51:57]
Caller 2
Absolutely. Cell phone coverage and hope you guys have a great rest. Tell your folks I said hi and watch out for you.
- [52:06]
Host 2
Watch out for deer, too. That I caught deer. We'll see you soon. Yeah. Nice. Nice gal.
- [52:16]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [52:16]
Host 1
You know, yeah, on the surface, seems.
- [52:18]
Dusty Slay
Like our head was on straight.
- [52:20]
Host 2
Yeah, it's typical family dynamic stuff, you know, and girls especially, they need that relationship with their mother or else you can become an atheist with bad service, you know?
- [52:33]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. I mean, it does seem like she has had a falling out with her mom.
- [52:39]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [52:40]
Dusty Slay
And then her mom has put her energy into Teresa. And then Teresa moved to Milwaukee and is doing well.
- [52:48]
Host 1
It just. Yeah. Kind of a glow up phase for Theresa.
- [52:50]
Dusty Slay
And then this other lady that I forgot her name is just bitter. Stacy is just bitter about it. And Stacy has got a husband. She said she got her husband out of going to the wedding. I Don't know how she did that. It's tough to explore anything with the phone signal.
- [53:08]
Host 2
The phone signal? Yeah.
- [53:09]
Host 1
I wish my wife would get me.
- [53:11]
Host 2
Out of that stuff. Yeah, I know. We did have to give her props for that, you know, and we forgot. But had the service been better? I wanted to know. And I don't think we were going to get a readable story, but where did the split happen? You know, does this go back to childhood? Did it. Did it happen recently? Because I think we could have really gotten a little bit more.
- [53:30]
Host 1
But, yeah, it might be that this has been happening her whole life. Like, her parents forgot to throw her birthday party, and then her sister got this one with a bouncy castle, and, like, the whole thing, and it's just been going on and on.
- [53:40]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. I think she should, you know, abandon her family a little bit, I think. Just give some space. Make your family come to you.
- [53:47]
Host 2
Yeah. Play a little hardball.
- [53:48]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [53:49]
Host 1
Don't go. Yeah. If you're at a bar, don't go. Hit on a girl. You hang back and have her come to you.
- [53:54]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And get a job, you know? Don't just work at a camp.
- [54:02]
Host 2
All good things. All good starting points.
- [54:06]
Dusty Slay
Well, now I know it's a real job. I'm sure it is.
- [54:10]
Host 1
Yeah, it's a job for sure.
- [54:14]
Host 2
Well, I have a lot of.
- [54:15]
Host 1
All right, kids, gather round.
- [54:17]
Dusty Slay
This is. We're all just doing a bit here. This is comedy. And, you know, everybody's great.
- [54:28]
Host 2
What was her name again?
- [54:29]
Host 1
Stacy.
- [54:30]
Host 2
Stacy.
- [54:31]
Host 1
Stacy's mom's kind of a. Yeah, I've.
- [54:34]
Dusty Slay
Heard she's got it going on.
- [54:36]
Host 2
Yeah. I wonder. I wonder if that might have started it. You know, she sounded of the age when Stacy's mom had come out and she had to deal with that. Yeah. You know, and Teresa didn't, because there's no Teresa's mom. True.
- [54:48]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [54:48]
Host 2
It's too many syllables.
- [54:49]
Dusty Slay
Sounds like Stacy and her dad hate their mom, and her poor mom just has to. Teresa.
- [54:54]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [54:55]
Dusty Slay
So she's like, let me try to hang on to my one daughter.
- [54:58]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [54:59]
Host 2
And that's pissing off the daughter. She's already lost.
- [55:03]
Host 1
One thing that's just crazy is how weddings can just bring out the worst in families.
- [55:10]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [55:10]
Host 2
Weddings and lake houses.
- [55:12]
Host 1
Yeah.
- [55:12]
Host 2
If someone leaves you a lake house, leaves the family a lake house, people will. I got a buddy. It happened, and then now the family is torn apart because somebody. Someone just didn't sell off the lake house. Yeah. Keep pulling my mic cord.
- [55:26]
Dusty Slay
I like to think that Teresa, being a pastor, is going to officiate her own wedding.
- [55:32]
Host 2
I was wondering that.
- [55:34]
Dusty Slay
That's the kind of person she is. Yeah. Yeah.
- [55:37]
Host 2
She literally goes from the. The whatever. The. What do you call it? Mediator. Oh, no, that's when they get divorced. Officiant. And then steps over to the thing.
- [55:48]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [55:48]
Host 2
You know, I see her being a little control freak.
- [55:50]
Dusty Slay
That's what I think, too.
- [55:51]
Host 1
Yeah, she's a. Yeah. Big control.
- [55:54]
Dusty Slay
And then Stacy's standing there drunk. Where's my husband?
- [55:59]
Host 2
You know, high on LSD and.
- [56:01]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [56:02]
Host 2
And all the other club drugs.
- [56:04]
Dusty Slay
Now Stacy seems fine. She agreed with everything we said. And she did, didn't she? Well, there you go.
- [56:10]
Host 1
Kind of found that a lot of people take our shitty advice very well on this podcast.
- [56:16]
Dusty Slay
Is there you go a Northern Michigan expression? You think, well, there you go.
- [56:20]
Host 2
There you have it. Yeah, there you go. I think so. You hear it up there?
- [56:24]
Dusty Slay
Okay.
- [56:25]
Host 2
You get up to the up a lot?
- [56:26]
Dusty Slay
Well, I used to. I used to do. There's a lot of not good comedy gigs up there. I like the up. It's very beautiful. But there's no good comedy gigs.
- [56:34]
Host 2
Yeah, but I did go up there.
- [56:36]
Dusty Slay
I saw an eagle up there.
- [56:38]
Host 2
Did you? Bald eagle or bald eagle. You got a lot of them up there.
- [56:41]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, it was beautiful.
- [56:42]
Host 1
Yeah. And I will raise you up on eagle swings.
- [56:50]
Host 2
We grew up.
- [56:50]
Dusty Slay
I feel like I'm being serenaded here.
- [56:52]
Host 2
Yeah. Yeah. We're trying to convert you right now.
- [56:55]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [56:55]
Host 2
You know? Yeah, yeah, it'll. It'll come if we got you to the final verse, you know, beg you to shine like the sun.
- [57:05]
Dusty Slay
And.
- [57:06]
Host 2
And we've lost all our.
- [57:08]
Dusty Slay
Well, I'm Christian. You know what I mean? So I'm. Yeah, I'm in already.
- [57:12]
Host 1
And that's like. If you go to a Catholic mass, it's like. That's how everyone just sings. They don't actually sing. They just move their mouth and hum a little bit.
- [57:22]
Host 2
Oh, yeah, yeah. They just give that in Latin.
- [57:24]
Dusty Slay
They. They don't even.
- [57:25]
Host 2
They sometimes. Glad. Yeah, they've been going back to that. I don't know why.
- [57:28]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, yeah.
- [57:29]
Host 2
They change the script, too, so. And then if you go with your parents, you say the wrong words and they know.
- [57:35]
Host 1
Well, that was, like, kind of. There was a couple of years there when they changed all of the responses in the. In the service. You knew who was not going to church or not because people were blurting out the old responses, and they're like, yeah, you haven't been to church in a year.
- [57:49]
Host 2
It's like going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but you haven't heard an album since Californication.
- [57:55]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, yeah, one of those.
- [57:56]
Host 1
Hate when that happens.
- [57:58]
Host 2
Yeah, it's a bummer.
- [57:59]
Dusty Slay
You're like, give it away. Give it.
- [58:00]
Host 2
Oh, song that sounds kind of the same, but not that.
- [58:05]
Dusty Slay
Yeah.
- [58:06]
Host 2
Damn you, Anthony Kiedis. Oh, man. Well, dude, this was very fun.
- [58:11]
Dusty Slay
I had a great time. I drank a coffee and wore a corduroy shirt. And I'm getting hot sweating.
- [58:15]
Host 2
Are you? Well, if you gotta use a porta pot, we know what's gonna happen with that corduroy shirt.
- [58:20]
Dusty Slay
Yeah, it's gonna get messed up to be off. Hopefully there's a hook in there to hang it.
- [58:25]
Host 2
That's what we should have told Gabe.
- [58:27]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. You need a clothes hook. Yeah, yeah. A little bit of a closet, maybe a lot of clothes hangers, and that would be nice.
- [58:33]
Host 1
It'd be nice to have some hangers. Ironing board. Yeah, ironing board.
- [58:38]
Dusty Slay
Have a little window where there's a guy go, can you hang on to this while I'm in here? Coat check? Yeah.
- [58:44]
Host 1
Code check.
- [58:45]
Host 2
Yeah, that'd be good. We're really on to something with that Portug. Well, Dusty, before we let you go, man, wow. Let people know where you're playing again, where they can find.
- [58:56]
Dusty Slay
Well, dustyslay.com is where you get tickets. Sometimes people will go, I wanted to come to your show, but the tickets are $450. I'm like, well, you're looking at the wrong place.
- [59:07]
Host 2
Don't stop.
- [59:08]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. Don't be deceived. Dustyslay.com but just for, you know, Wisconsin people. I mean, in August 15th, I'll be in Madison. August 16th, I'll be in Milwaukee with Teresa. November 21st and 22nd, I'm in Wausau, Wisconsin, and Green Bay, Wisconsin. But my announcement is come out Today as of April 8th, for my second half of my tour. So a lot of dates on Dusty. Slate dot com.
- [59:36]
Host 2
Wonderful.
- [59:37]
Host 1
It'll be funny if you got the other side of the story from Teresa. Like, she, after the show, was like that.
- [59:44]
Dusty Slay
I hope Teresa is a listener.
- [59:46]
Host 2
I. I have a feeling that maybe she is, because I feel like Stacy would do some kind of petty stuff like this, like implanted in the podcast she listens to, you know. Yeah.
- [59:58]
Host 1
Could be a roundabout way to get uninvited from the wedding.
- [60:01]
Dusty Slay
I hope Teresa listens and doubles down on the invitation.
- [60:04]
Host 2
Yeah.
- [60:04]
Dusty Slay
She doesn't let her out of it.
- [60:06]
Host 1
Promotes her to. Yeah, it's a maid of honor.
- [60:08]
Dusty Slay
Yeah. Ask for a speech. Yeah, that's what I hope that's what.
- [60:12]
Host 2
The Lord would want in this situation. Turn the other cheek.
- [60:15]
Dusty Slay
Yes.
- [60:16]
Host 2
Huh. Yeah.
- [60:17]
Host 1
Well, Dusty, thanks for coming on, man. This is great.
- [60:19]
Dusty Slay
Thanks for having me. I appreciate you guys.
- [60:21]
Host 2
Appreciate you.
- [60:21]
Host 1
And, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. Remember to tip your bartender. We'll see you the next one.