Ex-Girlfriend Strikes Back #124

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast – Episode: "Ex-Girlfriend Strikes Back #124" (Released October 31, 2024)

Hosts: You Betcha Guy (Miles) & Charlie Berens

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1. Introduction and New Voicemail Feature

[00:00] Miles kicks off the episode with exciting news for listeners: the introduction of a new voicemail line. This feature aims to streamline the call-in process, allowing every listener a chance to have their topic featured on the show.

"We now have a voicemail line. [...] So if you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095."
— Miles [00:00]

2. Hosts' Banter: Pool, Stand-Up Origins, and Bad Jokes

[00:49] Charlie and [00:58] Miles engage in their characteristic friendly banter, sharing anecdotes about performing stand-up at the Comedy Store in Hollywood and reminiscing about their pool-playing days. They delve into Charlie’s early comedy routines, including his memorable joke about the iPad as a parenting tool.

"I said the iPad is the best parenting tool since the nipple."
— Charlie Barrons [03:08]

The conversation takes a humorous turn as they discuss their worst jokes and the challenges of improving one's craft.

"Bad jokes. I've had a lot of bad jokes, dude."
— Charlie Barrons [04:02]

3. Call-In: Michael Discusses College Football and Midwest Culture

[08:49] Michael, a second-time caller from Wayne State, joins the show to talk about his college football team's struggles, particularly their losses to Toledo. He humorously suggests making Michigan the capital of the Midwest, prompting light-hearted debate between the hosts.

"I think we need to make Michigan the capital of the Midwest."
— Michael [13:23]

[10:58] Charlie empathizes with Michael's predicament, leading to a deeper discussion about the competitiveness of college sports in the Midwest.

4. Call-In: Caleb Explains the Toughness of the Bar Exam

[34:29] Caleb, also known as Russell Nicolay, a guest and practicing lawyer, provides invaluable insights into the difficulty of the bar exam. He details the rigorous preparation required and the high stakes involved, emphasizing the importance of passing on the first attempt.

"I think that's one of the things that makes it really difficult because you put all that time and effort and money into it. [...] So it's kind of like the ability to actually be a lawyer."
— Caleb [35:08]

The hosts and Caleb humorously speculate on who would perform better on the bar exam, blending informative content with their signature comedic style.

"Miles. I think you always do this to me where I gotta pick one against the other."
— Caleb [38:36]

5. Call-In: Russell Nicolay Offers Legal Advice

Caleb, referred to as Russell, discusses potential creative (and humorous) solutions for Michael's ongoing issue with his ex-boyfriend retaining a cherished recipe book.

"I could just say I was happy to walk across the road and I happened to trip in a pothole right in front of his house."
— Russell Nicolay [30:22]

The conversation highlights the show's blend of real-life problems with comedic problem-solving strategies.

6. Call-In: Kaylee Seeks Dating Advice Amid Age Concerns

[20:00] Kaylee shares her personal struggles with post-breakup issues and navigating the dating scene, particularly concerning age differences. The hosts offer a mix of sincere advice and playful suggestions to help her improve her dating experiences.

"Just put yourself in the vicinity of a dead cute girl if I see one that I'm pretty attracted to, and then just naturally letting the flow."
— Kaylee [52:31]

They discuss strategies like improving social skills, engaging in activities like dancing or improv classes, and even deploying creative tactics to attract potential partners.

"Every day for now, for the next three weeks, go on YouTube and learn how to dance. That's step one."
— Charlie Barrons [54:16]

7. Hosts' Closing Remarks and Halloween Teasers

As the episode wraps up, [33:03] Miles and [33:05] Charlie segue into a Halloween-themed segment, humorously debating over "adult treats" and sharing their favorite trick-or-treating memories. They encourage listeners to embrace the festive spirit with a comedic twist.

"This Halloween, folks. Hey, make some adults day. Make it a tippy cow."
— Charlie Barrons [34:19]

The hosts also briefly acknowledge returning callers and tease future content, maintaining their engaging and lively interaction style.

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Key Takeaways:

• New Voicemail Feature: Enhances listener interaction by providing an alternative to live call-ins.
• Humorous Host Banter: The chemistry between Charlie and Miles adds a relatable and entertaining layer to the show.
• Diverse Call Topics: From college football frustrations and bar exam challenges to personal dating dilemmas, the episode covers a wide range of issues with humor and insight.
• Comedic Problem-Solving: The hosts offer both practical advice and playful solutions, blending sincerity with their comedic personas.
• Listener Engagement: Returning callers and interactive segments foster a community feel, making listeners feel part of the conversation.

Notable Quotes:

• Miles [00:00]: "We now have a voicemail line. [...] If you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095."
• Charlie [03:08]: "I said the iPad is the best parenting tool since the nipple."
• Michael [13:23]: "I think we need to make Michigan the capital of the Midwest."
• Caleb [35:08]: "This is the ability to actually be a lawyer."
• Kaylee [52:31]: "Just put yourself in the vicinity of a dead cute girl if I see one that I'm pretty attracted to, and then just naturally letting the flow."
• Charlie [54:16]: "Every day for now, for the next three weeks, go on YouTube and learn how to dance. That's step one."

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Conclusion:

"Ex-Girlfriend Strikes Back #124" is a quintessential episode of the Bellied Up podcast, seamlessly blending humor with heartfelt discussions. Whether tackling the struggles of the bar exam, navigating the complexities of college sports, or offering dating advice, Charlie Berens and You Betcha Guy provide an entertaining and relatable experience for their Midwest and global audience.

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For more episodes and to participate in future call-ins, follow Bellied Up on Instagram.

Transcript

[Miles]

Guys, we got big news in the bellied up world. We now have a voicemail line. We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time. We hear you. That stinks. So by including the voicemail line, it will allow everyone to get a chance to have their topic heard. We'll listen to the voicemails, then line up calls with the ones that we love. This means the more interesting your topic and the more energy that you bring increases your chances of being featured on the show. So if you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095. You can call in 24. 7. And again, the number is 218-303-5095. If you forget the number, it's in the description of the podcast. So don't worry. Cheers. Joy the episode.

[Charlie Barrons]

Hello everybody. Welcome to the Bellyed up podcast. I am your host, Charlie Barrons. I am joined here by my good buddy Miles, the you betcha guy.

[Miles]

Charlie, how you doing today? Today, buddy?

[Charlie Barrons]

Doing good, Miles. I'm doing good. I am.

[Miles]

Where are we at today?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, we are in Minnesota.

[Miles]

We are in Fridley, Minnesota. Am I saying that right?

[Charlie Barrons]

Minnesota.

[Miles]

Fridley, Minnesota, at the Two Stooges Bar and Grill.

[Charlie Barrons]

I'll tell you what.

[Miles]

Grill and bar. Bar and Grill.

[Charlie Barrons]

Two Stooges Bar and Grill. It's got skills. It doesn't even talk about in the title. I know there's 40 some odd tool tables here.

[Miles]

Well, is it, is it called the Two Stooges Pool Hall? Yeah, both ways works great. The two Stooges Pool hall, Bar and Grill. That's what we'll say. Okay, what do you say? How many? There's 40 some pool tables here at the bar.

[Charlie Barrons]

The fellow told me. When was the last time you really played pool, Miles?

[Miles]

Well, we played when we were in la, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes, we did.

[Miles]

We went to a bar in. Was it West Hollywood? We're pretty Hollywood now.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, we've sold out. We are sellouts.

[Miles]

Call a spade a spade.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. And we went to Hollywood. We did the Target video. It was fun. Selling out for Target. They do a good job there. And then we went over to. We were staying right next to Comedy Store. That's where I started doing stand up pictures.

[Miles]

That was the origin story.

[Charlie Barrons]

That was the origin story for the man Talk man up there in the belly room bringer show.

[Miles]

How did it go initially when you were doing stand up at the Comedy Store?

[Charlie Barrons]

Bad? No, actually it went good. So the comedy story, that was like where I went after A lot of open mics and it was a bringer show, so I brought people. Yeah, and it was a belly room. It's not the best room there necessarily. It's where a lot of the beginning comedians, where the bringer shows would be now. Also huge comedians play that stage too. But whatever, it's more of a workout room, you know what I'm saying? So, yeah, I would, you know, buy tickets for people to come show up. I was.

[Miles]

Do you remember your first set or at least one joke from your first set or like. Or one that used to sticks out in your mind from the very early stages?

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah. I said the iPad is the best parenting tool since the nipple. You like that one? Yeah, yeah. Does that still work?

[Miles]

Yeah, it still plays.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know, it's funny. I was, I was even talking about technology back then.

[Miles]

That's true. Another question. What. What do you think was your worst joke you've ever said on stage? I don't do stand up, but I clearly have a worst video that we ever did was called Midwest asmr actually was good asmr, but here's. People didn't care and did not watch it and thought it was dumb.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like that video.

[Miles]

Did you?

[Charlie Barrons]

I saw it. I was like, oh, that's a great idea. I liked it. And then it. Yeah, you always bring it up. Is it a bomb? I enjoyed it. Bad jokes. I've had a lot of bad jokes, dude.

[Miles]

But there's got to be one that sticks out in your mind that you remember. Just especially bombing.

[Charlie Barrons]

Believe it or not, I have this trauma based method I do where I call blacking out those things.

[Miles]

That's probably good. It allows you to get back up on stage.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I mean, I would have to go back through my notes. I'd have to go back through my notes.

[Miles]

Okay, maybe. Maybe in another episode you'll. You'll go through your notes and you can tell us your worst joke you ever said.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, there's some bad ones in there. So anyways, yeah, but we're here at the Two Stooges.

[Miles]

It's a great name for a bar too.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. You got me way in my head trying to think about these bad jokes.

[Miles]

Sorry, sorry. You're going to be laying awake tonight being like, God, that joke was bad. I suck.

[Charlie Barrons]

Just my demons returning. No, it's a super cool bar. It's fun. Maybe we'll play some pool later.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, maybe.

[Miles]

I feel like we're both equally bad at pool. Yeah, I'm better at darts than I am at pool.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, pool is a tough one to get good at. You got to have a lot of quarters in your. In your life.

[Miles]

You also got to know geometry. Are you a geometry guy?

[Charlie Barrons]

I like the concept, but I don't practice it enough to be good at it. You know what I'm saying?

[Miles]

You know what the Pythagorean Theorem is?

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, sure, sure. Pythagoras. That's equals MC squared, right? No, X plus Y equals X. Y. That's like the hypotenuse, right?

[Miles]

I believe it's A squared plus B.

[Charlie Barrons]

Squared equals C squared.

[Miles]

Is that the Pythagorean theorem? I'm getting confirmation, yes.

[Charlie Barrons]

And is that how you find the hypotenuse?

[Miles]

You can. Yeah, you can use it to find any part of the. The length of the triangle. Correct. If you got the hypotenuse and the other. And one side, you can get the other one.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know, I started doing some more woodwork, and there's a lot more math and woodwork than I. Than I remembered. And I started doing back of the sheet math, and I'm actually not bad at math.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Believe it or not, like, I got a bunch of it in the dome still.

[Miles]

Yeah, I would agree. It's. You're like, when am I going to use this? And then all of sudden, you know, you're trying to square up a piece of wood that you're doing, and you're like, okay, if this is 36 degrees, then the opposite. It should equal 90. Yeah, it's 90 minus 36.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

No, but what is 90 minus 36?

[Charlie Barrons]

90 minus 36. Oh, I'll do it right now. 9, 3, 6, 54 degrees, because that's 10, that's 4. 9. That becomes an 8. 8 minus 3, 54. Yeah, I just did it right there.

[Miles]

So how do you do that in your mind? I obviously just did it.

[Charlie Barrons]

I do it like. I like to write it down, but I.

[Miles]

Because I go, I go, what's 90 minus 30? 60. 60 minus 6 is 4.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like that. I like that. When I'm doing the tip, I just take the thing and I double it. I just add an exclamation or add a period, move the period up and double it. So if it's $93, you tip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an easy one. So 18 is 20% of that, but, well, 18.8.

[Miles]

18, 6.

[Charlie Barrons]

Sure, I. I move it up a scotch, you know, But I did a bunch of math for all this woodworking stuff. My sister was over in my garage. She Picked it up off the floor. And she goes, oh, my God, like, you know how to do this? And I was like, do you not know how to do that? And she was basically saying that they didn't have to do this kind of math. And I was like, you know what? Well, this world's not changing for the better.

[Miles]

You should have said. You. You should have said, well, we'll see if I can do this kind of math after I get it together.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Stays together.

[Charlie Barrons]

Here's a spoiler. I did the math wrong.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, a thousand percent. I had the Met. I had to, like, do the math two times over. But it's crazy. Like, yeah, we're. We know old math now, Miles. I mean, it's the same math, but like, you know, they've given up. Like, cursive is another thing. Kids don't learn cursive anymore.

[Miles]

That's probably good.

[Charlie Barrons]

I suppose.

[Miles]

I don't need it.

[Charlie Barrons]

I suppose. But now that I know it. Well, I don't know. Now that I know it and they don't, it's like the one of the few, like, superiority things I have going on these days, so I'm just gonna cling to it.

[Miles]

I like it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Should we take some calls?

[Miles]

Yes, we should, Charles. Something else, I ask you. But never mind. Let's take some callers.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yellow. Welcome to the Bellied up podcast. Who we talking to? Hello.

[Miles]

Hello. Welcome to the Bellied up podcast. Who we talking to? Is he whispering? Are you doing something you're not supposed to be?

[Michael]

I mean, it's just college. It's not that important.

[Miles]

What'd you say?

[Michael]

It's just college. It's not that important.

[Miles]

Are you in class right now? I feel like I should whisper. Are you in class right now?

[Michael]

What? I walked outside now.

[Miles]

Okay, okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

What class were you in?

[Michael]

Valuation. That's like a corporate finance class. Just a bunch of, you know, lame stuff.

[Miles]

Yeah, a bunch of corporate.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I think you're making a right life decision right here. No, nobody wants it.

[Miles]

Well, what's your name? Where do you go to college?

[Michael]

Oh, my name's Michael. I'm a second time caller. I go to Wayne State. I'm the guy that called like a couple months ago about what makes a good Midwest football coach.

[Miles]

Yeah, grab your bucket.

[Michael]

You guys wouldn't believe. I. I've actually said it a few times, but the other coasters actually say it more than me now, so it's kind of funny.

[Miles]

Oh, I like that. Another football team saved. You guys wins. Have got to go through the roof. This season?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Oh, 100%.

[Miles]

What's, what's your guys record so far? Have you played any games?

[Michael]

Yeah. So it's funny, the last time I was on, I butchered one of your reoccurring jokes. The whole Toledo is like three Milwaukee's or whatever. Yeah, we lost to the same. We lost to the same Toledo team this year. They were. I mean last year we lost on the last play of the game by two points and this year we lost 20. Or no, 37 to 7, something like that. We got our asses whooped. So other than that we've been done. Good.

[Miles]

Did you tell the team afterwards to take a lap?

[Michael]

Oh, there's been many laps have taken this year.

[Miles]

That's good. They're going to. Eventually they'll win by just taking laps.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Oh yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Now what. What makes you call in today?

[Michael]

Wow. Well, I have a list here in my notes. Things I wanted to talk about.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Michael]

So I had something on my mind. I don't think anyone's ever brought this up, but it might be a controversial topic in terms of Midwest culture. But I need to ask you guys a quick series of questions in order to get to my point. Is that okay?

[Miles]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Michael]

Okay. Just yes or no answers. Charlie, I know it's gonna be hard for you, but yes or no answers.

[Kaylee]

Okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

Jess roasts me. All right. All right. Fair, Fair. Yes. Who knows?

[Michael]

Okay, you ready?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Michael]

All right. Do you like hunting?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Michael]

Do you like going on boats on big lakes or little lakes?

[Miles]

Yes.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes.

[Michael]

Do you like good fishing?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes.

[Michael]

Do you like good football teams?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Michael]

Do you like hockey?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes.

[Michael]

Do you like cheesy crust deep dish pizza with meat on top?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. I can't say no. But not a huge deep. Sorry.

[Charlie Barrons]

One more.

[Miles]

Yes. One more. Yes. Yes. I see.

[Michael]

You like ranch.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes.

[Michael]

Do you like looking at your hand and showing where you live in your state with your hand?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes. Yes.

[Miles]

You know where he's going with us.

[Michael]

Do you like Oberon?

[Miles]

What?

[Charlie Barrons]

Oberon. That like.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Michael]

The beer.

[Charlie Barrons]

The beer.

[Miles]

No.

[Michael]

Do you like Kid Rock?

[Charlie Barrons]

No.

[Michael]

Do you like muscle cars?

[Charlie Barrons]

You like them? No.

[Miles]

I don't mind.

[Michael]

Well, wait. Actually, no, hold on. Charlie. Do you drive a Chevy Volt? I think I remember hearing that in the podcast.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Yes.

[Michael]

I'm asking the wrong guy. All right, point is, I think we need to make Michigan the capital of the Midwest.

[Miles]

Oh God. I knew he was going Michigan route as soon as he brought up the hand. Whatever.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. And then he brought up the whole like jets pizza.

[Miles]

I hate to break it to you, but basically the only things that aren't in the rest of the Midwest that you listed off was the deep dish pizza that we were kind of 5050 on anyways. And Kid Rock, right?

[Charlie Barrons]

And muscle cars. Let me just. I like a nice old car, okay. I like a piece of shit. I don't like those cars that people are like trying to, you know, add inches to their pecker with like the loud sound of the engine. That's what I think of with the muscle car. But I like a nice. I like, I like. I actually don't like the electric vehicle, to be honest with you. Like, it's. It's kind of stupid. What I really like is like a 1980s diesel, like stick ship car.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

But if you, if you were to get a. I do the electric thing because I like walleyes. I like, like the planet. But really, if I like driving something, it's like a diesel stick shift, like little pickup truck.

[Miles]

There you go. I like that.

[Charlie Barrons]

A little pickup truck. Not a monster freaking thing, you know?

[Miles]

Yeah, maybe. But they don't make like an S10.

[Charlie Barrons]

Are you thinking I love the S10. I freaking love the S10. That's not even diesel. But.

[Miles]

So I think we're gonna have to maybe pass on making Michigan the capital of the Midwest just because there's so much overlap with other stuff. And the stuff that makes Michigan unique, we were kind of 5050 on anyways.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I do.

[Michael]

Like, I don't disagree with you now that I know that I'm saying all this out loud.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. You should, you know, you should consider not skipping your law class. Okay. Because I feel like. I feel like you had some good tactics there. But.

[Miles]

So speaking of class, you're in class right now. What is the topic for today?

[Michael]

Oh, I don't know. I haven't been paying attention.

[Miles]

Okay, well, Charlie, if he's going for corporate business is what it sounds like.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

If you were the professor for a corporate business class.

[Russell Nicolay]

Perfect.

[Miles]

What would you teach during that class?

[Charlie Barrons]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Corporate Business 101. First thing I'm going to tell you is that your money is the bottom line. You are going to need to bribe politicians, destroy the planet and put humanity at risk. But you will have the opportunity to make a lot more money than all the people you're screwing over. Who's with me?

[Miles]

I was thinking maybe more like make sure you're drafting up emails that you never need to be sent.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

And make sure you write per My last email. I hope that this finds you well and deliver bad news and then be like, hope you have a great Friday. That's what I was thinking.

[Michael]

I've learned more in this short 30 seconds than I have in the first three weeks of the semester.

[Miles]

There we go.

[Charlie Barrons]

We gave you the Cliff Notes of corporations. So it's all about the emails and screwing over the little guy.

[Miles]

And in corporations, I would also have a failing upwards 101 class. You know, it's not really about how well of a job you do in corporate companies. It's about do, does the boss like you?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. How little risk can you take and still kiss? It's little risk. Kiss boss's ass. That's kind of. That's kind of how do the bare minimum.

[Miles]

So you limit yourself to really messing up and then just kiss the boss's ass. You're going to get promoted like that.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. And then you just worry all the time about getting fired and then you eventually get fired or retire and die.

[Miles]

That's corporate life. That's what you're getting into.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Michael]

That'S how it goes.

[Miles]

Well, you do have options.

[Michael]

I wanted to say. I wanted to say the whole listing that I made, I realized how bad of an idea it was once I got like halfway through because I probably had like. I was only like a third of the way through the list when I was saying it out loud. I was like, wow, this just sounds like every other state.

[Miles]

I'm glad you shut that down early though then, because we gotta get through a lot of callers today. Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

It wasn't. It wasn't a bad thought. But. Yeah, you gotta kind of roll it off the tongue to make sure it. It works, you know?

[Michael]

You know what's even funnier is I walked into this like glass room that was empty to talk to you guys. My professor just walked in the hallway past me and didn't see me.

[Miles]

Nice. Hey, welcome to the corporate life.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, he just doesn't see you. You are invisible to him.

[Miles]

You are just a pawn on the chessboard. Damn.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wait, why isn't he in class?

[Michael]

He might have ended her. It's supposed to end at two. It's one here, so, you know, I might just be. My backpack might be sitting in there.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, you're in Michigan. Well, I forgot you said where you were. Where are you at again?

[Michael]

Michigan.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's great, man. Well, hey, thanks for calling in.

[Michael]

I'll call it again and have less of a lame topic. Besides making Michigan the capital of Midwest.

[Miles]

I'm glad you said it, not us.

[Charlie Barrons]

You have a good one. We'll chit chat soon.

[Michael]

All right, see you soon now.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, bye. Bye.

[Miles]

In reality though, you know, going to college to be a doctor, a lawyer, you need college, right? To be working at a corporate company, just sending emails back and forth. I don't think you need to go to college. I think.

[Charlie Barrons]

I don't think so. You can learn how to do any. Anybody can learn how to do that. And honestly, it's pretty much automated at this point.

[Miles]

Yeah, exactly.

[Charlie Barrons]

Like those jobs just aren't going to exist in like five years.

[Miles]

True. So anyways, glad to know that is with the football tactics that we gave him advice on are working. That's blown out.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Just goes to show that the less water that they drink, the more conditioning that they do, the more that they win. And that's proof here today. We saw it here also, Charlie, he said Toledo. Do you remember how big Toledo is?

[Charlie Barrons]

Toledo. I want to say Toledo. It's like a third of Milwaukee.

[Miles]

Well, how big is Milwaukee?

[Charlie Barrons]

Milwaukee's about three Toledo.

[Miles]

Okay, got it. Perfect. Should we take another caller?

[Charlie Barrons]

Let's do it.

[Russell Nicolay]

Hi, this is Kaylee.

[Charlie Barrons]

Hi, Kaylee, you're here with Charlie and Miles.

[Miles]

Hi.

[Russell Nicolay]

I can't believe I actually made it on.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, you made it on. What's your rant?

[Russell Nicolay]

So my ex and I, we broke up back in December. So it's been a while and I. It took forever to get most of my stuff back from his house because I was living with him and he still has, as silly as it sounds, a recipe book that I have and it belonged to my aunt that passed away not too long ago and it's been nine months and he still has it and he still sends me pictures that he has it and he lives four minutes away from me.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, so does he really like your aunt's cookies or what's he keeping it for? Is this like you left the handkerchief? First of all, Julie, this behind. Someone can go over there and get this back. One of you still hanging on to this relationship. Is it you or him?

[Russell Nicolay]

So yeah, here's the thing too. So he moved in a new girl into his house two months after we broke up. So I've been avoiding going over there like the plague. But I've been trying to be like, hey, I will meet up with you, even put it in your mailbox and I will drive by and get it. Or I will meet your dad even and go pick it up and he just will not give it back.

[Miles]

Well, one first off, have you seen the economy? Rent's not cheap. He's got to get another renter in there. So I don't. I. You know, kind of a bad move. But also, I get it. The economy's tough.

[Charlie Barrons]

I. I was about to go off on why you shouldn't live with someone after two months, but economically speaking, in.

[Miles]

This economy, you gotta have renters.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, make a good point.

[Russell Nicolay]

Here's the thing, though. She does not work, and she does not have a license or a car. And he. Like, we live about an hour and 45 minutes north of Minneapolis, and he went down and picked her up the very first time they ever met to move her into his house.

[Charlie Barrons]

Whoa.

[Miles]

Well, clearly, they were hanging out before when you guys were still dating. Correct.

[Russell Nicolay]

They met on Tinder, which. He made that account the night I moved out, which was the same day we broke up. So he was. He was moving pretty fast.

[Miles]

Why did you guys break up? What happened?

[Russell Nicolay]

So we were together for two years, and then he started getting, like, kind of weird, and I vowed to never look at his phone without his permission. And I looked at his phone, and he had some pictures from other girls saved in his Snapchat for the whole two years that we were together.

[Miles]

So, yes, we are correct, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's. That is.

[Miles]

Well, also you. I thought you were a woman of your word. You said you were never gonna go through his phone.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. So I know. How did.

[Russell Nicolay]

How did I know? The one time I did, it bit me in the butt. I know.

[Miles]

Hey, it's like he just gaslights her. Like, you. You're saying that I'm. I'm a cheater? Well, you're not a woman of your word. How can I trust you after this? Actually, I want to break up. I can't trust you anymore. And you're like, what. How did this happen?

[Russell Nicolay]

It was even worse because we were in the same house. Like, we were in the same room. And I'm like, hey, what's this? And he's like, I'm leaving. And then he went to go hang out with one of his friends, and then he texted me, I'm not doing this anymore. And I'm like, okay.

[Miles]

Hey. He knew. He knew it was bad. He's like. He didn't try and fight it.

[Charlie Barrons]

He knew it was only a matter of time before the thing ended.

[Miles]

You know? Like, you. You're speeding on the highway, and the cop pulls you over, and you don't even try and make an excuse. You're just like, yep, I died.

[Charlie Barrons]

I was going 95.

[Miles]

I deserve a ticket. Just give it to me. I'll pay it, and we'll move on to his bike.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, this isn't happening. Do you think he was seeing other people, though? Or was it just the pictures from past relationships?

[Russell Nicolay]

It was definitely like, oh, these random girls are adding me. I'm gonna add them back and see what this is about.

[Charlie Barrons]

Adding them on what? Instagram?

[Miles]

Snapchat? Did he do a lot of trips up north? Is he a fisherman or a hunter?

[Russell Nicolay]

The only time. The only time he went fishing up north without me was for a bachelor party.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Russell Nicolay]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All right, well, let's get back to brass tacks here, Charlie. How are we going to get that cookbook back?

[Charlie Barrons]

All right. Do you have a baseball bat?

[Russell Nicolay]

No, but I should probably invest in one.

[Charlie Barrons]

I would invest in one. Walk over there, go to the door, break the window, unlock, open it up, get the cookbook, break a couple kneecaps, walk out of there. Miles. Any thoughts on that?

[Miles]

I mean, I was thinking another route. You know what? You could. I mean, basically, you gotta figure out a way to get them out of the house so you can get in when they're not there. Because if you break a window when he's there.

[Charlie Barrons]

I'm talking about breaking and entering. You're gonna get her put in jail.

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Like, what are you.

[Russell Nicolay]

I mean, and I'll fit. In all fairness, his house is in rough enough shape where I could break down a door and they probably wouldn't even notice.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay, there you. Well, now we're. Now we're on to something. No.

[Miles]

Well, do you ever see them around town at all?

[Russell Nicolay]

Occasionally. My family sees them more than I do.

[Charlie Barrons]

Your family sees them?

[Russell Nicolay]

Yeah, I work. Yeah. Like, because since we live so close, I. I also live with my family now because I was living with him when we were together. And so, like, my mom or my brothers will see them out and about, like, in passing at the grocery store or whatever, but I work from home most of the time, so I don't ever. Yeah, I try to avoid him.

[Charlie Barrons]

Why? Do you think he just doesn't want to give this thing back? Like, is he still hanging on?

[Russell Nicolay]

That's what I was thinking. But there's one recipe in there that was, like, his favorite that I would make for him all the time. I don't know if you've ever heard of, like, the dill ranch pretzels.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Russell Nicolay]

So I have a family recipe of that that he was obsessed with, but that recipe was handwritten by my Aunt who obviously passed away.

[Miles]

I mean, this guy isn't. This guy is an absolute idiot. Why don't you just take a photo of it with your phone and give the recipe book back?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, there's gotta be something deeper than that. I mean, that sounds like a great recipe. You sound like a catch, but this guy sounds like he's got a couple screws or he's still holding on.

[Russell Nicolay]

Yeah, like, he does concrete right now, but every time, like, when I was living with him, I would make dinner for him. Even, like, stay up late and make sure dinner was hot and ready for him when he got home. I did all the cooking, cleaning. I did grocery shopping, and apparently that wasn't good enough, so he went with a hobo.

[Miles]

Oh, okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

Shots fired. Did you work as well, in addition to doing all that?

[Russell Nicolay]

Yep. I actually have two jobs.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow. This guy sucks. Why. Why did you. Why'd you stay in?

[Miles]

Giving us concrete guys a bad name, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, he really is.

[Russell Nicolay]

Well, I thought he was a really good dude, and I really liked his family. We always went out every Saturday to his family's place in Cambridge, and we would play cards and whatever. And I still. I still have all of his family on Facebook. Like, they like all my stuff all the time. None of them's removed me. The only reason why he has me off of Facebook is because his girlfriend found out he was texting me, and so she blocked me.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow.

[Miles]

You should maybe just pretend like you want to get back together with him, text him all of that, and then he then loses another relationship.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. I mean, but I, I, I get a kick out of the fact that you stayed with him because he had a cool lake house.

[Miles]

I respect that game.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, that's. That's. I think we got to the root of it there.

[Russell Nicolay]

No, there was no lake house or anything. Like, we would just go down and, like, play cards like it was nothing. Nothing fancy. It was just, like, the quality time.

[Miles]

I guess you could say camaraderie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay, okay, fair enough. Well, you seem like a really good person. He seems like a pain in the ass, and you're. I think he's still hung up on you, and I think you might just have to. Or he's just super.

[Miles]

Why don't you just. If you got a good relationship with this family, why don't you just have them go get it for you?

[Charlie Barrons]

Seems reasonable.

[Russell Nicolay]

I tried that, too, and all they do is give me a thumbs up, and then I never get anything back about it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Classic move.

[Russell Nicolay]

I even, I even tried texting him on like Tick Tock last night, because that's the only thing we're friends on now is Tick Tock. And I'm like, hey, it's been a while. Can I have it back, please? And all he said was, yep, yep.

[Charlie Barrons]

Interesting. Ah, yeah, I bet since she doesn't do anything, she's just there all the time, so there's never really a good time.

[Miles]

Well, and he probably lied to her about what the recipe book was from and now he can't go back on that one.

[Charlie Barrons]

So is his aunt.

[Miles]

Yeah. Or as my grandma's or something. And then if it's not there, she'd be like, what happened to the recipe book? If he's like, I threw it away, she's gonna get real suspicious, go through his phone, see that he's texting other girls and some cycle repeats.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, yeah. The nice. Well, yeah, the other thing is you can call our buddy Russell Nicolet. You know, I don't know if that's the kind of law he participates in, but I bet you he could get that cookbook back.

[Russell Nicolay]

I mean, I'm sure I could just say I was happy to walk across the road and I happened to trip in a pothole right in front of his house.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Russell Nicolay]

And then I could sue the homeowners for homeowners insurance.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, we're thinking very creative about this now. I like it. See, that initial idea I said with the baseball bat and the kneecaps, that was bait for one of you guys to tell me. That's never gonna happen. None of you really took it. And now we came across the. The actual solution. Yeah, it was just a brain wracking thing. I didn't actually mean.

[Miles]

No, I knew that. Yeah, you're good. No one's gonna hold you to that.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, I'm saying that now that we bring legal scholars in and they may listen to this, so I can't have any of those loose ends out there.

[Miles]

Yeah. You were joking.

[Charlie Barrons]

I was joking.

[Miles]

It was a goof.

[Charlie Barrons]

It was a goof.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

I was imploring sarcasm.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, we appreciate you calling in today. We hope you can get your cookbook back. I think. I don't know what to tell you. You know, you could try Charlie's way, I guess.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, no, no. Oh, hey, I actually, I actually. I actually just thought of something. Okay. Oh, okay. Okay. Nope, that's illegal too. All right. I just thought about it a little bit longer. Sorry.

[Russell Nicolay]

It's okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Involved breaking and entering.

[Russell Nicolay]

The call.

[Miles]

Yeah, we're glad. We're happy to talk to you. Sorry about your woes. Hey, the right guys just around the corner.

[Russell Nicolay]

Maybe in one day. I mean, as long as I have a job and my bills are paid, I guess that's the most important thing to me right now.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Good for you. You sound awesome. This guy sounds like a putz. So you made the right choice, and God bless you.

[Russell Nicolay]

Thank you. Watch out for deer.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, you too.

[Miles]

That guy sucks.

[Charlie Barrons]

That guy does. Sucks.

[Miles]

Sucks bad.

[Charlie Barrons]

Also, to live with somebody after two months.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

You have to pay me to do that. That's a brutal situation right there.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

And it's like you don't even know the person.

[Kaylee]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You definitely got to make sure they still have their place for at least a while, even if they're coming over every day.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know what I mean?

[Charlie Barrons]

Right, right, right, right. So just in case. Just in case you need that separation. You will, you know?

[Miles]

Will.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. And then otherwise you're just like codependent, you know?

[Miles]

And then you lose a recipe book that your aunt gave you, and she's passed away. It's a tough situation.

[Charlie Barrons]

It's a tough situation, Miles. Halloween is coming up.

[Miles]

You like Halloween, Charlie?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I do. I like trick or treating. I always love trick or treating growing up. And one of my favorite things about trick or treating is adults sometimes trick or treat.

[Miles]

Adult trick or treating.

[Charlie Barrons]

Adult trick or treating. You know what you do when you.

[Miles]

Adult trick or treat, Charlie?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, same thing as you do as a kid, except you get adult treats. Okay, so I just want to welcome.

[Miles]

Are you talking like full size candy bars or what do you mean by adult treats?

[Charlie Barrons]

Let me tell you this much. The equivalent of the full size candy bars for an adult is a full tippy cow.

[Miles]

Full size tippy cow.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I like that.

[Charlie Barrons]

You just stick that right in the old bag of the next adult that comes to your door. You're going to make their day. They're going to pay it forward.

[Miles]

Yeah. I tell you what, if I. My kid, when he gets to the age of trick or treating, I'm gonna. I'm gonna want the other people to have tippy cow waiting for me at the door. He gets candy, I get tippy cow.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like the way you think, Miles. I like the way you think. Well, this Halloween, folks. Hey, make some adults day. Make it a tippy cow.

[Kaylee]

Moo.

[Miles]

All right, guys, we have our favorite lawyer on the line, Mr. Russell Nicolay. How are you doing today, my guy?

[Caleb]

I'm doing good. How about you guys?

[Miles]

We can't complain. Doing real good, Russell. I have a bellied up to the bar thought that creeped into my mind.

[Charlie Barrons]

Invasive thought?

[Miles]

Not really. It's just a thought.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay.

[Miles]

And my question to you, Russell, is how hard is the bar exam? Is just no way can be that hard.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's a good question.

[Miles]

Because you know, everyone's complaining about, you know, I gotta study for the bar, I fail, and then they pass it, they celebrate. Is it really that hard?

[Caleb]

I think it is difficult. But one of the big things with the bar exam is that so you, you know, you went to a four year university and got your degree, then you took the LSAT to get into law school, then you did law school. And so it's kind of like every, you know, all your eggs are in one basket. And I think that's one of the things that makes it really difficult because you put all that time and effort and money into it. And it's like, this is the, this is your ability to actually be a lawyer. Otherwise you just have a law degree and you're not a lawyer. So I think that's part of it. And I also think that like the hard part is usually you take it and then I think it's like two to three months later you get your result. Well, all your classmates and buddies or whatever are saying, hey, I'm a lawyer now. And you don't want to be the one that's like, oh, dude, I got to tell him I didn't pass it. I can't put like lawyer. You know, I say I'm a lawyer because you can't do that. So then you just have to say you have a jd. So there's that pressure, but it is difficult. It's weird because there's sections that are like the multi answer portion that goes over everything. And then there's like, for Wisconsin, there's like this specific essay for specific Wisconsin law questions. But I don't know if you guys knew this or not, but in some states, like Wisconsin, if you graduated from the law schools in Wisconsin, which is uw, Marquette or Marquette. Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

You don't have to take the bar. Yeah.

[Miles]

You just are a lawyer.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Why is that?

[Caleb]

You know, I. That's the state. Some states have that. I know there's a push for more of it. I kind of like the bar exam. I mean, part of it maybe I took it getting past it, but I think it is a good way for you to get ready.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Caleb]

Not to brag, humble brag, but the pressure that you get like as a law student or as, you know, taking the bar exam is not anywhere near the pressure, I think has to be a real lawyer. Because when you're doing all that theoretical stuff, you don't actually, you know, you don't have a client. That future depends on decision making.

[Miles]

There's no stakes involved, you know. Right.

[Caleb]

So I like the challenge. I think it's good. I think they need to keep it. But it is difficult. I think I was looking at something and I think in Wisconsin, for people that did take it, it's like sometimes some years it's 90%, some years it's down to like 72%. The scary part is if you fail it, I think every time then you would retake it, your chance of passing goes down. So it's kind of like diminishing, getting worse and worse that you're, you know, the odds are against you to pass. So you really want to make that.

[Charlie Barrons]

First one count because you probably get way more NER nervous the second time and then way more nervous the third time. I mean, that's great. Can you imagine having an entire law degree that you need to pay for and not a lawyer's salary? That's terrifying, right? Yeah.

[Caleb]

The cost is. Yeah, it's very high. And then what are you going to do? Generally that's going to pay back those bills if you don't have a. Because you have a lot of.

[Charlie Barrons]

You're gonna.

[Caleb]

You don't have an actual ability practice.

[Charlie Barrons]

I mean, you're gonna start selling drugs. Obviously. I feel like they gotta figure something else out.

[Miles]

All right, final question for you. If Charlie and I both studied for an entire year, who is doing better on the bar exam? Do you think? Me or Charlie?

[Caleb]

Miles. I think you always do this to me where I gotta pick one against the other.

[Charlie Barrons]

I love it though. I love it.

[Caleb]

Well, I. My. I know. So Charlie, I know, has a degree in journalism, right?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Caleb]

That could be a big asset. But I know Miles has got a lot of like, on the job experience dealing with things. So I think it'd be a toss up.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, no, you can't sit here, compliment both of us, call it a toss up and get out of this. What do you think you are saying.

[Miles]

Someone'S got a lot of on the job experience is not exactly a compliment, Charlie.

[Caleb]

I think it is. Hey, I think it is because there's something to be said. If you've been out working, I mean, you just learn a lot because it's the way of the world. Like, you gotta get, like. There's a lot of people that get a degree that's very difficult for them to, you know, get out and get things done. So one thing. Who handles pressure better? Who would handle the pressure of being locked in this place for like, basically two days with all the marbles on path?

[Charlie Barrons]

Russell, you just proved why you're a great lawyer. Miles tried to paint you in a corner. Pick me or pick him. You complimented both of us. You turned the question back around onto us. That's good lawyer energy right there. You see what he did there? Miles?

[Miles]

Yeah, I object. I'd like him to choose one of us.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay.

[Caleb]

I need to know more. I don't. I think. Wasn't there one where. Who would be the better lawyer? You guys, Miles is always putting me on the spot. I don't know, I. I think there'd be pluses and biases for both of you guys.

[Miles]

I could.

[Caleb]

I could see you both becoming lawyers and then put me to shame maybe. And I'd be like, man, I just wish I was like Miles or Charlie. I could be a good lawyer. But again, no, I. I don't know, man. It'd be difficult for me to. We could. We'd have to figure this out. But I thought the first thing we're going to do is actually have a mock court trial and put you pit you guys against one another and I be the judge. We haven't done that.

[Charlie Barrons]

That would honestly be really fine. Yeah, maybe you.

[Caleb]

We could. We could get fictional characters or actually something that you can defend. Charlie wants Saul Goodman. Saul Goodman, Right.

[Miles]

Well, he's not fictional. That would be a real character.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, we'll call him up.

[Miles]

Maybe.

[Charlie Barrons]

Maybe he'll do a cameo for it.

[Caleb]

Has he been disbarred or is he still practicing? You know, I don't know. We have to see where if he might be too busy.

[Miles]

All right, well, you didn't answer my question, but you smartly snuck your way out of it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, he ran out the clock.

[Miles]

He did. All right, we need to recess for lunch. We'll be back.

[Charlie Barrons]

He could, like, go defend the President on cnn, you know, that's exactly that. That's good.

[Miles]

All right, man, well, thanks for calling in, guys. If you would like to get a hold of Russell Nicolay, you go to nicolay law.com, correct? Russell?

[Caleb]

That is correct.

[Miles]

Or you can give him a call at 1-855- Nicolay silent T at the end. Don't forget. Russell, thanks for calling in today. It's always fun to talk to you.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, thanks, guys.

[Caleb]

Appreciate it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Alrighty, we'll see you soon.

[Kaylee]

Oh, I got Caleb, bro.

[Charlie Barrons]

Caleb. Is this a Caleb that called him before?

[Kaylee]

Yes, sir, this is Caleb. I called in a while back about my supervisor's hot sister.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I remember that because you, we role played, I think you asking her out and you did a miraculously terrible job from what I recall.

[Kaylee]

I would have to agree with that. It did not go well on that roll call or role play on that call. Well, since Friday didn't go too well in real life either.

[Miles]

Oh, here we go.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's what I want to hear.

[Miles]

All right. You tried to approach your supervisor's hot sister. We gave you some advice. How did it go?

[Kaylee]

Oh, not too well. I, that episode came out. My supervisor just say he was not happy. I am still working with him. I didn't get fired, but he was pretty pissed. But we got through that. I said, I promised I would not. He was so upset. I said I promised I wouldn't hit on her at the wedding, so didn't do that. The bride, the bride did have some very attractive cousins. So I was, I, I, I can control myself until it gets to a point of a little too many bruskies. And so I was flirting a little bit. Nothing ever came of it, so it was fine. But yeah, he ain't too mad. He didn't care about the cousins too much. But yeah, the, the sister's off the table now.

[Miles]

So what was the conversation with your supervisor? Did he listen to the podcast or did someone tell him? How do you find out?

[Kaylee]

Yeah, so he listened to it. I knew it came out that morning. So before work, I actually listened to it ahead and I kind of just said, hey, man, I think you should listen to the Bellied up podcast this morning. It's pretty good one. I kind of just watched him in his face was very disappointed while he was watching it, and then he was just, let's just say there was a few, few cuss words after that. But we, we made through it. It just, it just makes the friendship stronger.

[Miles]

Is that how he feels?

[Kaylee]

I, I don't know. I, I, I was still in the wedding, so I don't think he was, I don't think so. I don't think he's too upset. But yeah, so you, but yeah, last time Charlotte was. Sorry, Miles.

[Miles]

No, go ahead.

[Kaylee]

Well, Charlie, I don't remember if, you know, last time I kind of made fun of you for being single and kind of backfired on me, but I just want to start out the conversation the same way and say that music was ass. I was having to listen to There.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, the hold music was ass.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, the one of the stuff with you talking about summers and winners, and I just wanted to take my earphones out and listen to the mail gun, but it was all right.

[Charlie Barrons]

Why are you roasting me? What did I, what did I tell you to. I thought I gave good advice. Oh, this is payback for us roasting you.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, no, it, No, I, I, I deserve that, but, no, I'm messing with you, Charlie. I did like the music.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. All right. I feel like you still didn't, which is fine. But listen, did the sister. Did she hear this at all? And has she made any contact with you?

[Kaylee]

I don't know if she heard it. I don't know if my supervisor kept it away or showed it to her or not. She has not said anything about it, so I would assume she hasn't.

[Charlie Barrons]

And do you still have the hots for his sister? Has the attraction increased or decreased since this episode came out a while back?

[Kaylee]

I'm a really good friend, so it has decreased. I stepped away.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Kaylee]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't know if I believe that, because it's kind of one of those situations where you can't have it. You want it more. So I, you know, I'll take that with a grain of salt.

[Charlie Barrons]

I'll take him by his word on this one. I'll break with you on that.

[Miles]

Okay. All right.

[Charlie Barrons]

So. So what's. No, go ahead. I'm curious what we can do for you now.

[Kaylee]

Well, yeah, I was just in the bars for the first time this weekend, and the last few girls I've tried to talk to or get to know a little bit, when one wasn't at the bars, one was just hanging out, and we went, got some food, and I was like, well, just got to make sure, because these days, girls can look a lot older than they are. I was like, you are 18, right? And she was like, yeah, I'm 26. And. And it's. It's come down to, do I start lying about my age? Because every time I say my true age, they. Their whole demeanor changes, and it doesn't go anywhere.

[Miles]

Well, I don't know if it was necessarily your age. I think it was the fact you thought she was under 18.

[Kaylee]

Well, I'd rather get shut down than get in legal trouble.

[Miles]

I mean, that's, That's a good approach.

[Charlie Barrons]

That is fair. That is fair. And you are 20. You're. Oh, go ahead.

[Kaylee]

That was a few months ago. And then this weekend, went to the bars, went to the bar and met this Girl. And I just asked her if she went to the university. And she was like, oh, that's so flattering. You thought that I was that young. And then it brings me to the point again. Like, shit, she's gonna ask me how old I am, so. And same thing I told her my true age. And things just went downhill from there. But it was. It wasn't before that.

[Miles]

You gotta stop asking questions that lead to the age conversation.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, avoid that.

[Miles]

Stay away from school, stay away from high school, stay away from all of it. Just ask her, what do you need to say? What you. What do you do for a job? Just say, so, what do you do these days? Yeah, there you go.

[Charlie Barrons]

And if you have a conversation with her long enough, you're gonna find out if she's a working professional or if she still has a gym teacher. Dude, you know? So through conversation, this will all naturally reveal itself.

[Kaylee]

Okay, I like that approach. And then if it. If it does come up, do I lie about it or do I. Do I. Do I go with the truth?

[Miles]

I think you go, well, age is just a number. Yeah, something like that.

[Kaylee]

Exactly. That's what I thought. That's what I told her. And she said, well, eight years is a big difference. And I said, it's huge. I understand that. Like, massive. But what if it was? If I said three or four? That's not as big. That's like, average amount.

[Miles]

Why don't you just, like, go for a gal your own age? What's wrong with them?

[Kaylee]

See, I. I'm looking more for something serious. And it seems like all the girls my age doing college, they're just wanting to have fun and not really get into a serious relationship. So I'm thinking I gotta go a little older.

[Miles]

Why do you just have fun? You're in college.

[Kaylee]

That's a good point. I. I was kind of wanting to get married young, though. I don't really want to want to go. Just bounce around.

[Miles]

Well, then you need to get into the military if you want to get.

[Charlie Barrons]

Married young or be a doctor. Or be a doctor in the military.

[Kaylee]

No chance of the doctor.

[Charlie Barrons]

How about the military?

[Kaylee]

Maybe. Okay, maybe, but doctor. Yeah, I know. I think you got to be smart or something like that.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I suppose that ship has sailed. Well, listen, and not the smart chip. Just, you know, you got to be in, like, medical school. I think by the time you're 20 or something, that ship has sailed for him.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, I got you.

[Charlie Barrons]

I don't think I. I honestly don't think most women are going to Believe that you're really into something that serious at 20 years old. It's a tough age for a guy.

[Miles]

No, we'll have to say we've heard your game here on the podcast and I would say if you're 20 trying to hit on a 26 year old, you gotta have good game to even get a date with that person. And so I think. What, you're too worried about the age and you're not worried about improving your game?

[Kaylee]

All right, so, so in this bar I was in, there's a, there's a basketball court. I was showing her the game on the court, which probably wasn't good. You're right. Me showing off doesn't look Good.

[Miles]

Hey. Hey, 26 year old. Come watch me play this video game. Wait, isn't it hot?

[Kaylee]

No, no.

[Miles]

Isn't this sick?

[Charlie Barrons]

Wait, was it, was it, did he say basketball? Like an actual. He said there's a basketball court in the bar. Right? Not even a video game.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, there's a. No, it's a court in the bar.

[Miles]

Oh, I thought it was like NBA Jam or something.

[Charlie Barrons]

That'd be funny.

[Miles]

Hey, you want to come check out my jumper?

[Charlie Barrons]

I can dribble between my legs.

[Miles]

Here, you can, you can hold my drink while I, while I drop tray bombs.

[Charlie Barrons]

Are you really good at basketball? Like, you gotta be so good at basketball to pull that move off.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, No, I wasn't, I was so drunk. I won't, I'm not good sober, so definitely not drunk.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, God. Well, have you thought about not getting so hammered before you hit on girls?

[Kaylee]

I mean, I try, but then it just gets out of control. Sometimes my friends just, they're supposed to help me out and slow me down, but they just.

[Miles]

So I think what it sounds like is you just have a drinking problem.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, it definitely sounds like you have a drinking problem. If your friends are trying to slow you down and that doesn't work, I.

[Kaylee]

I, I kind of gotta fight back. I'm at work right now and you guys are at the bar at 10 o'clock on a Monday morning. I don't know if I have to drink.

[Charlie Barrons]

Hey, hey. Game recognizes game, my guy.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Kaylee]

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, but no, I mean, give me some advice for some shooting, some, some fire, some game at the bar.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, first I would do it with one to two drinks. That's the sweet spot. And stay in. Like, there's nothing more attractive for a girl than just a hammered dude, you know, because all they envision is you pissing in their Bed. That's all they envision.

[Miles]

Yeah. They look at you and they're like, God, I'm gonna have to clean something up later.

[Charlie Barrons]

This guy.

[Miles]

And it's not gonna be what I want to clean up.

[Charlie Barrons]

This guy is gonna open up my dresser and pissing it. I know. He is all they're thinking, if you're.

[Miles]

Hammered, so, yeah, maybe tone down the drinking a little bit, because clearly that's not helping you. There is some guys that. They get a little drunk, they get more. You know, they get better. But not you.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And what's your current approach? What are you saying? What are you doing?

[Kaylee]

Just putting myself in the vicinity of dead cute girl if I see one that I'm pretty attracted to, and then just naturally letting the flow.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, naturally. Let the conversation flow.

[Miles]

Yeah. Charlie, he's like, I don't know why it's not working. I come into the bar, and I just go up to women, and I go like this. How old are you? You want to see me shoot basketballs.

[Charlie Barrons]

Out of my ear? Miles is.

[Miles]

You're kind of hot. Do you know my. My supervisor. Okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

Miles has been invading my personal space. Hey, let me ask you this. Do you. Do you. Are you a good dancer?

[Kaylee]

Freestyle or, like, swing dances?

[Charlie Barrons]

Just freestyle. Just like any bar you go into, there's a dance floor. Can you confidently walk out on the dance floor and dance?

[Kaylee]

I can confidently walk out there. I wouldn't say the dancing part would come.

[Charlie Barrons]

So here's what I would. Here's. Here's the recommendation. I think every day for now, for the next three weeks, go on YouTube and learn how to dance. That's step one. Step two is go on YouTube and find a good karaoke song. One that a lot of people know that you can also sing. Get good at that. Two and three is. Is just start like. Like do an improv class or something. You do those three things. I betcha you're gonna find a girl.

[Miles]

Improv is probably the best one. Teaches you how to think on your feet, be funny.

[Charlie Barrons]

I think if you know how to dance, though, and you can hang there, like, even if you can't talk, you can at least go dance good with someone. Yeah. And then that's a. That's a conversation opener.

[Miles]

I don't know, Charlie. I think he's. I don't want to call you a lost cause, but I think this is called swimming upstream.

[Charlie Barrons]

He's 20 years old.

[Miles]

No, I mean in terms of his game, not his dating.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, he's for sure. Swimming Upstream. That's why I'm giving him actual advice.

[Miles]

I know. So here we got an extreme measures. What you're going to want you to do is you're going to want to tell your buddies that you're going to pay for their drinks for the night. And what you're going to have them do is dress up in a black tie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Suit.

[Miles]

Suit with an earpiece. And two, you and your two buddies are gonna walk into the bar, they're gonna be in front of you and that's gonna get the attention of every woman in the bar. Because if I know anything about human nature, as soon as someone appears that they're a big deal, Charlie, all of a sudden they become a little bit more attractive. And then you don't even have to have any game at all. They're gonna come to you.

[Charlie Barrons]

I hate to say it, Miles, but you're right.

[Miles]

Actually.

[Kaylee]

You know, I kind of actually just want to try that for shits and giggles. See if it'll actually work.

[Miles]

Okay, there's your homework.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, you go try that and let us know if that doesn't work. You can do the actual advice that I gave you that somebody out there is going to take and thank me for in letter. But I think, I think Miles, advice. I'm just more. Can you have someone film it too so we can watch it go down? Please?

[Russell Nicolay]

For sure, for sure.

[Kaylee]

I'm not gonna just do that for. No, just the memory. You gotta have some document.

[Miles]

And when they ask you, because then they're gonna ask you what you do, you just tell them that you're in finance. And then they're not gonna ask you any follow up questions.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, finance or entrepreneur.

[Miles]

Yeah, entrepreneur gets a bad rap though. It means you're unemployed. So I would just stick with finance. We touched a bullet there.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, okay. Just say hedge funds. Yeah, hedge funds. You know, and if they ask follow up questions, just say.

[Miles]

I don't want to bore you with that.

[Charlie Barrons]

I don't want to bore you with that, but I got great set of shears. All right, well. And if you film it, you know, you send that video to us because that will be an intro on one of our next episodes. We'll just will kind of be the announcers for you. Your bar escapades. That probably might guess.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, I might have.

[Charlie Barrons]

Weird.

[Kaylee]

I'll probably do that for sure. I don't think. Yeah, no, nobody's gonna try to press me because of that. Like try to fight or like some dude just get the. Maybe, maybe a short dude. Maybe a little short man syndrome, Trying to show off to the girls, like, hey, there's the. The rich guy in the bar. I think he's gonna try to fight me just because of that.

[Miles]

You have security. What? I don't. What's. What are you worried about?

[Charlie Barrons]

Pick your strong friends. By the way, they are actual security for them.

[Miles]

We didn't say, you know. Yeah, we didn't tell you to bring a short king friend in a suit.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, get the talk.

[Miles]

A couple guys in the football team.

[Kaylee]

All right. Yeah, I'll bring that. We're not getting back into the high school football stuff. I'm. I'm done with that. I'm moving on from the past.

[Miles]

Okay, let's go closing the year.

[Kaylee]

I'll get some of my big friends.

[Miles]

All right. All right. Well, we appreciate you calling in again today, man. Thanks for the update, and good luck at the bar.

[Kaylee]

Yeah, thanks, man. Thanks, guys. You guys have a good one.

[Miles]

Have a good one, buddy. Yeah, you know, you've seen the guy on Tick Tock that's got the. He's got. He's caked up. What's that guy's name?

[Charlie Barrons]

The guy with the big ass?

[Kaylee]

Frankie Lapena.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You see, he walks around with the entourage. Everyone's like, I gotta talk to that guy.

[Charlie Barrons]

Dude that doesn't need an entourage. He's got, like, the biggest ass in the world. Is that thing real? I don't think so. No, it's not.

[Miles]

No.

[Charlie Barrons]

Is it an insert or.

[Miles]

Yeah, Yeah, I think so. Well, Charlie, episode in the books.

[Charlie Barrons]

ITB Miles, ITB cba.

[Miles]

Could be anything.

[Charlie Barrons]

Could be anything. ITB Sounds like an episode std.

[Miles]

Yeah, it does.

[Charlie Barrons]

ITB it is in the books, folks. Thanks for listening to another episode, the Bellied Up Podcast. Until next time, tip your bartender. See you guys.