Bellied Up Podcast - Episode 195

“Grandma Gives The 'Worst' Christmas Gifts” (April 9, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this lively episode recorded at the iconic Ten29 Bar in Minneapolis, hosts Myles (You Betcha Guy) and Charlie Berens belly up to the bar to riff on small-town bar culture, interact with colorful local patrons, and take live callers. This week’s theme explores family traditions, bizarre Christmas gifts from grandma, and the quirks of Midwest life, all wrapped in the show’s signature blend of humor, irreverence, and genuine connection. Expect plenty of playful roasting, Midwest bar stories, advice for awkward situations, an exploration of LinkedIn etiquette, and a memorable deep-dive into atrocious family gift-giving.

Bar Banter & Setting the Mood

[00:00-05:00]

• The duo discuss the unique décor of the Ten29 Bar, a “police bar” with bras and badges decorating the walls.
• Light, off-the-cuff jokes about the business of sitting alone at a bar at 12:45 on a Tuesday—how not to look like a "loser":
  • Bring a laptop, pretend to do work.
  • Hold a menu like you’re “just stopping in for lunch.”
  • Wear a polo with a beer logo—“Then you look like you’re a beer salesman.” (A)
  • “Every beer salesman I’ve met is a drunk. But it’s a professional drunk.” (A, 03:19)
• Joking about why Tiger Woods doesn’t have a driver: “The first time you roll your car over, I’m getting you a driver for Christmas.” (B, 06:05)

Iconic Locals & Bar Stories

[07:31-16:24]
A group of regulars join the show, sharing stories from years of coming to Ten29 Bar:

• The discovery of Fireball whisky at the bar in 2013.
• Their “Friday ritual” of lobster mac & cheese, meat raffles, and spending long lunches (to the amusement/annoyance of bosses).
• The evolution from “bar spouses” to close friends, cemented over years and life changes.
  • “For a long time…they assumed we were sp[ouses]. And we had to correct them. Just bar spouses, not real spouses.” (E, 09:39)
• Remembering lost friends and staff, highlighting the bar’s tight-knit, multigenerational community spirit.
• Occasional playful ribbing with the hosts about drinking, losing weight, and “meat raffle” prowess.
  • “Don’t take advice from a skinny chef.” (D, 15:01)
  • “Now you look like you belong in Minneapolis.” (D, 15:12)

Memorable Quotes:

• “This is the best bar in the world right here.” (D, 17:10)
• “Get on over to 1029, wear two bras if you come, or no bra. And either way, it'll be fun.” (B, 17:40)

Meeting Marley: The Mustachioed Neighbor

[25:54-38:09]
Enter Marley—a bar regular, chef at a senior living center, notorious for his impressive mustache and legendary local status:

• Marley claims to have “multiple girlfriends: Allegedly. It’s a block schedule. Like divorced parents, three days on, three days off.” (F, 28:45)
• Describes the wild world of the senior center—shuffleboard as the real “pickup game,” and hints at wild stories among residents.
• A segment about “wenis” (elbow skin) pinching spreads, with everyone testing if they can “feel their wenis.”
• Marley’s bathroom graffiti memorializing bar regulars adds to the “Ten29 Hall of Fame.”
• “You could sell a horse to a Subaru dealer.” (B, 89:32)

Other memorable banter:

• “What do you want out of life?” (B, 33:40)
  “To be happy. I’m happy, I guess.” (F, 33:44)
• “If Bellied Up ever needs some 3D modeling done, I got you guys covered.” (C, 91:36)

Call-in Highlights

1. Caller "Nate" (Nathaniel) - The Saga of Awful Grandma Gifts

[50:26-92:36]

• Backdrop: Nate, a chatty engineering student at Central Michigan, calls in to riff on LinkedIn, life, and—most memorably—his grandmother’s “legendarily bad” Christmas gifts.
• Pre-Gifts Banter:
  • Dissects LinkedIn profiles of the hosts and producer Jared, leading to running jokes about “work, work, work” posts.
• Grandma’s Gifts Story:
  • Nate builds up to the gifts: wrapped in mismatched, torn paper, often misspelled (“Nathany”) (C, 74:08), gifting used notepads from hospitals or hotels, half-used hand sanitizer, and worn-out workplace gloves.
  • The piece de resistance: a custom 2025 calendar—actually a sunset calendar with magazine car photos taped over the sunrises.
    • “She bought a sunset calendar and then cut out pictures of cars and taped them in the sunset setting.” (A, 78:27)
    • “She wrote hand sanitizer on it in case we didn't know.” (C, 76:15)
    • “This has got to be the worst I’ve seen.” (A, 79:00)
  • Family dynamics are laid bare: Grandma uninvited from gatherings after “Thanksgiving shenanigans,” and Nate’s mom posting everything on Facebook.
• Hosts’ Take:
  • “Think of all the thought your grandma put into that.” (B, 78:51)
  • “Just put some of that hand sanitizer on it, and it should clean it right up.” (B, 76:34)
  • “What do you hate about your mom?” (A, 84:20)

2. LinkedIn Power Rankings & Roast

[49:34-68:25]

• Nate and the hosts joke about the absurdity of “open to work” tags, stacking LinkedIn bios with nonsense skills, random “endorsements,” and the real-world futility of blue-collar LinkedIn networking vs. just using Angie’s List:
  • “That makes me want to snort glass, to be honest with you.” (B, 66:29)

Running Gags and Noteworthy Quotes

• “You lose weight and suddenly you’re insecure you’re not fat enough. That’s never happened in the world ever.” (A, 19:22)
• “People say I look like I just got done having a three-way coke bender with a bass and a walleye. I’ve got that hanging on my fridge.” (B, 20:40)
• “My moves are not on par. Let me tell you.” (C, 58:16)
• “You’re a real piece of work—in the best way.” (B, 88:37)

Life Advice & Comedy Insights

• Pushing back against “you’re always 10% at fault in a rear-end accident” insurance myth with guest attorney Russell Nicolette (39:03-43:24).
• Playful encouragement: All crying triggers, “pushing feelings down,” and complex sibling power rankings:
  • “It’s like NFL power rankings. They change every single day for no reason.” (G, 23:30)
• Charlie’s on-stage advice for actors: “If you push everything in your life down for years, you have an encyclopaedia of triggers.”

Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:00–05:00: Opening bar banter, “How not to look like a loser drinking alone”
• 07:31–17:40: Regulars’ stories: Fireball, lobster mac, bar spouses, and eulogies
• 25:54–38:09: Marley’s mustache, “multiple girlfriends,” and nursing home gossip
• 39:03–43:24: Guest lawyer Russell, insurance accident myths debunked
• 49:34–68:25: Nate’s LinkedIn roast, hosts’ own cringy bios, stock photo entrepreneurship
• 71:29–81:03: Grandma’s worst gifts: The infamous “custom” calendar, repurposed notes, weird hand sanitizer
• 84:20–89:01: Therapy hour: airing family grievances, leading questions, “public shaming” stories

Episode Vibe & Takeaways

Language/Tone:
Friendly, unfiltered, and deeply Midwestern—irreverent jokes, heartfelt memories, and relentless, affectionate roasting.

If You Missed It:

• Expect quick wits, unpredictable guests, a whole lot of barroom authenticity, and the longest riff you’ll ever hear about grandma’s “one-of-a-kind” (i.e., regifted, dumpster-dived) calendar.
• You’ll learn that there’s always a story behind bad gifts, and that every bar regular—and family—has secrets, traditions, and plenty to laugh about.
• The chemistry between Myles and Charlie makes even mundane Midwest moments laugh-out-loud hilarious.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “Every beer salesman I’ve met is a drunk. But it’s a professional drunk.” (A, 03:19)
• “If you’re an Uber driver and you pick up Tiger Woods... you’re not paying attention to the road. You’re just rear view mirror the whole time.” (B, 05:45)
• “This bar is the best bar in the world right here.” (D, 17:10)
• "Don't take advice from a skinny chef." (D, 15:01)
• “If Bellied Up ever needs 3D modeling done, I got you guys covered.” (C, 91:36)
• “This has got to be the worst [grandma gift] I’ve seen.” (A, 79:00)
• "She bought a sunset calendar and then cut out pictures of cars and taped them in the sunset setting." (A, 78:27)
• “People say I look like I just got done having a three-way coke bender with a bass and a walleye. I’ve got that hanging on my fridge.” (B, 20:40)
• “You could sell a horse to a Subaru dealer!” (B, 89:32)

Final Thoughts

What Bellied Up delivers is more than laughs—it’s the oral history of bar buddies everywhere.
You’ll leave wishing for lobster mac, a meat raffle ticket, and the kind of family stories only the Midwest (and a few shots of Fireball) can deliver.