How NOT To Pick Up Women #123

Summary

Episode Summary: How NOT To Pick Up Women #123

Release Date: October 24, 2024
Hosts: Charlie Barron's & Miles (You Betcha Guy)
Podcast Title: Bellied Up

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Introduction and Exciting News (00:00 - 01:00)

The episode kicks off with Miles sharing some exciting updates for listeners. He announces the introduction of a voicemail line (218-303-5095) to the Bellied Up podcast, aiming to make it easier for fans to call in without long wait times. Miles emphasizes that interesting and energetic topics submitted via voicemail will have a higher chance of being featured on the show.

Notable Quote:
Miles [00:30]: "If you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095. You can call in 24/7."

Hosts' Banter and Personal Anecdotes (01:00 - 05:00)

Charlie and Miles engage in their signature humorous banter, reminiscing about their childhood roughhousing. Charlie shares a playful story about how their father gave them names like "Charlie Horse," leading to light-hearted teasing about family dynamics. Their camaraderie sets a lively and engaging tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:
Charlie Barron's [01:45]: "We beat the crap out of each other."

Caller Segment 1: Handling a Restraining Order (06:19 - 17:19)

Caller Profile: David from Michigan

David calls in with a dilemma: his roommate has been granted a restraining order by an ex-girlfriend after persistent harassment. David and his friend group are unsure how to approach the situation without exacerbating tensions.

Discussion Highlights:

• Understanding Restraining Orders:
  Charlie explains that obtaining a restraining order typically involves serious misconduct, not just jealousy. He stresses the gravity of the situation, highlighting that it's more than mere over-eagerness in relationships.

  Notable Quote:
  Charlie Barron's [07:14]: "Restraining orders aren't exactly easy to get either, so it's probably more than just a jealous boyfriend."

• Approaches to Address the Issue:
  The hosts debate various strategies, from confronting the roommate directly to using humor as a means of addressing his behavior. Miles suggests playful retaliation, such as making the roommate drink Coors Banquet with his restraining order in hand, blending comedy with advice.

  Notable Quote:
  Miles [12:06]: "You need to do that. But wrapped around the banquet is you need to have a copy of his restraining order."

• Encouraging Accountability:
  Charlie advocates for creating a supportive environment where the roommate can discuss his actions and seek improvement, rather than resorting to bullying.

  Notable Quote:
  Charlie Barron's [16:08]: "Make it a safe space for him to talk about his feelings and why he did it. And help him become a better man."

Caller Segment 2: Canine Concerns and Existential Fears (17:19 - 43:53)

Caller Profile: Stephanie

Stephanie reaches out with two main concerns: her dog’s habit of eating poop and her fear of death. She also later seeks advice on finding dates for upcoming weddings.

Discussion Highlights:

• Dog Eating Poop:
  Charlie responds humorously, downplaying the issue and suggesting that some natural behaviors shouldn't be overblown. Miles adds to the joke by implying cost savings on dog food.

  Notable Quote:
  Charlie Barron's [18:26]: "Let the animals be the animals."

• Fear of Death:
  The conversation shifts to deeper topics as Stephanie expresses her fear of dying. Charlie offers a blend of humor and philosophical insight, referencing religious beliefs and encouraging Stephanie to focus on positive aspects of life.

  Notable Quote:
  Charlie Barron's [24:26]: "God is love and all who live in love live in God. So whether you believe in God or love, we all believe in the same thing."

• Dating Woes:
  Stephanie reveals her struggle to find dates for weddings, feeling left out as her friends get married. The hosts provide comedic yet practical advice on dating strategies, emphasizing the importance of not appearing overly eager.

  Notable Quote:
  Miles [40:30]: "If you want to get a date, you gotta act like you don't want to date. Nothing makes a guy want to date someone more than someone who doesn't want to date them."

• Interactive Advice:
  The hosts engage with Stephanie's challenges, offering various suggestions from leveraging social media to improving personal approaches in dating. The conversation blends humor with genuine attempts to provide helpful tips.

  Notable Quote:
  Charlie Barron's [40:42]: "Well, that's a problem right there. But bass as a lure comes by. They, they, they want it because they can't have it..."

Closing Banter and Final Thoughts (43:18 - 43:53)

As the episode wraps up, Charlie and Miles share more light-hearted moments, continuing their playful interaction. They touch upon upcoming plans and reinforce their comedic rapport, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.

Notable Quote:
Miles [43:28]: "CBA could be anything. Could be anyone."

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Key Takeaways

1. Effective Communication:
   Addressing sensitive issues like restraining orders requires a balanced approach that combines understanding with practical solutions.

2. Humor as a Coping Mechanism:
   Using humor can lighten heavy conversations and make difficult topics more approachable.

3. Personal Growth in Relationships:
   Encouraging accountability and personal improvement is crucial in navigating friendship dynamics and romantic pursuits.

4. Navigating Personal Fears:
   Acknowledging fears, such as the fear of death, and seeking supportive conversations can aid in personal well-being.

5. Dating Strategies:
   Approaching dating with confidence and not appearing overly eager can enhance one's attractiveness and success in finding dates.

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This episode of Bellied Up masterfully blends humor with real-life advice, addressing listeners' concerns in an engaging and relatable manner. Charlie Barron's and Miles create a welcoming environment for open discussions, ensuring that even the most awkward topics are handled with wit and empathy. Whether grappling with pet behaviors, existential fears, or dating dilemmas, listeners are left both entertained and informed.

Transcript

[Miles]

Guys, we got big news in the bellied up world. We now have a voicemail line. We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time. We hear you. That stinks. So by including the voicemail line, it will allow everyone to get a chance to have their topic heard. We'll listen to the voicemails, then line up calls with the ones that we love. This means the more interesting your topic and the more energy that you bring increases your chances of being featured on the show. So if you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095. You can call in 247. And again, the number is 218-303-5095. If you forget the number, it's in the description of the podcast. So don't worry. Cheers. Enjoy the episode.

[Charlie Barron's]

Can give you a dead leg right now. We rolling? Yeah. Oh, hey, folks, sorry. Miles and I were just there playing a little grab ass. It's me and my. Stop it, Miles. We are here for the Belly to podcast. Don't you do it. We are here for the Belly up podcast. I'm your host, Charlie Barron's Miles and Miles is.

[Miles]

We're just rough houses.

[Charlie Barron's]

I just want to give you a dead leg so bad.

[Miles]

Did you and your brother's rough house?

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, we beat the crap out of each other.

[Miles]

See, I. I had an interesting situation. My older brother didn't love to rough house as much and my younger brother would just cry, so I would just mostly go see one of those and then he would cry and then I get in trouble. It sounds like you got a better situation.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, I would just get them right there, get them right there. The pressure points. Back of the neck. Get them between top part of the arm and the bicep. And that separation, there's a pressure point right there if you get it with that middle knuckle. Oh, done. My dad used to go, who won the Kentucky Derby? And I'd be like, no, no, no. And he'd smack me. Be like, charlie horse.

[Miles]

He named you Charlie just so he could do that one joke.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, you did with all his kids. For Andy, it would be Andy horse. Billy horse.

[Miles]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Started with you, though.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, I think.

[Miles]

Good. He's like, oh, his name is Charlie. I can kind of rough him up a little bit.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah. Now that I bring this up, I'm not sure that he did it with the others. I gotta ask him. I'm wearing the Turtles Bar and Grill shirt.

[Miles]

I like that. What's it. It's got a turtle with some wheels on it.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, it's a little big. No size. It's a little smocks. But honestly, big shirts are in these days, you know, Miles.

[Miles]

Big, big shirt, Billie Eilish. Isn't that a song?

[Charlie Barron's]

Big shirt, Billy Miles again, it's a.

[Miles]

Black top, big T shirt, Billie Eilish top, big T shirt, Billie Eilish. You got the Billie Eilish looking on right now.

[Charlie Barron's]

It's crazy how the kids these days. Miles, the kids these days, they're dressing like we dressed in back when we were in college. I guess I was in college. You were in high school? Maybe grade school. Yeah.

[Miles]

What year did you. Were you in college? What year?

[Charlie Barron's]

I was in College from 2005 to 2000 shot. Don't laugh at that.

[Miles]

2015.

[Charlie Barron's]

2009.

[Miles]

Yeah, dude, I wasn't even graduated high school when you graduated, you guys. I was winning a state championship though, in 2009.

[Charlie Barron's]

Hey, bring out the yearbook. We haven't opened that in a while on this podcast.

[Miles]

What were you doing in 2010?

[Charlie Barron's]

2010, I was. First job. I was a. For. Well, I went back to being bike mechanic for like a couple months.

[Miles]

Bike mechanic. I was winning another state championship in 2010, so.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, 2000. No, 2010. I was working on this film.

[Miles]

Well, we were. We were winning the championship. I owe it all to the offensive line and the defense. They just really carried us.

[Charlie Barron's]

So I'm actually trying to think about what I was doing. You don't care. You're just rambling on about your friggin title.

[Miles]

Two titles, two times.

[Charlie Barron's]

Do you have the trophy?

[Miles]

Actually, you know, they call Fargo title town for that reason.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, that's interesting. Way to burn the Packers.

[Miles]

I mean, the packers just call them championships anyways, so. I also have a Champ two championship.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, it's what we won a lot of titles in the early days of the NFL. Most titles in the NFL, so you're welcome. Okay. And title goes with town alliteration. All right. Soon we'll be able to call it the super bowl city. All right.

[Miles]

That's actually pretty good.

[Charlie Barron's]

It is.

[Miles]

I think actually New England could claim that.

[Charlie Barron's]

I know. Give us like 8 to 10 years.

[Miles]

Okay, sounds good. Well, Charlie, you got your turtle shirt on. We're at Turtles Bar and Grill here in Shockopee. I got my quarter zip. I'm becoming a bit of a quarter zip guy.

[Charlie Barron's]

I've noticed that about you.

[Miles]

I just. You know what, I don't care if people think it's tacky Or I look like an insurance guy. I love wearing shorts with a quarter zip. It's just. It's. Even if it's hot out.

[Charlie Barron's]

Really? That's your look. You're shivering.

[Miles]

No, I'm not.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, you are. I see your goosebumps on your legs. Hang on, let me touch one. Well, those aren't goosebumps. Those are just from when you shaved last.

[Miles]

Razor burn.

[Charlie Barron's]

Razor burn. You ever shave your legs?

[Miles]

No. Never once. Have you?

[Charlie Barron's]

How about your balls?

[Miles]

Just kidding.

[Charlie Barron's]

I don't want to know that.

[Miles]

I usually use like a three guard on.

[Charlie Barron's]

Do you? A three guard? You like to keep them long?

[Miles]

No, I got taking the time to do that. 0.5 guard. I like to keep them like kiwis, you know?

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, hello to Mary Jane, Miles's mother.

[Miles]

That's not true. That's not true.

[Charlie Barron's]

What is true, Miles? I.

[Miles]

Should we take some callers?

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, let's take some callers before we find out if Miles has waxed his sacks. All right, let's do it.

[Miles]

Welcome to the Bellied up podcast. Who we talking to?

[David]

Hi, my name is David from Michigan.

[Miles]

How you doing, David from Michigan? We're doing swell. Why don't you belly up to the bar with us, tell us what's on your mind.

[David]

All right, so we're here with a couple buddies in the room right now, and my roommate, he's been saying he's been wheeling all these ladies and he's been getting with them, but the friend group up here just found out he has a restraining order. How do we go about telling him this, that we know he has it?

[Miles]

So hold on. Wait a minute. So a gal has a restraining order on your buddy?

[David]

Yeah, apparently like he was like harassing or something too much and like texting her, and then the boyfriend got mad and just filed a restraining order on him.

[Miles]

That's. I mean, that's a no go situation. I. This is not good. This is not good at all.

[Charlie Barron's]

Restraining orders aren't exactly easy to get either, so it's. It's probably more than just a jealous boyfriend like you got. You got to work a little bit to get an actual court ordered restraining order.

[David]

Yeah, and he hasn't told us about this either, so.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, it's not a great icebreaker, you know?

[Miles]

Hey, guys. How was your day? Hey. I got delivered a restraining order, so that was fun.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah. I don't know how long you are into your friendship before you reveal the fact you got a restraining order, but did someone just look up his name? What made you.

[Miles]

How'd you find out?

[David]

Public. Public safety. We know like some friends at public safety here, and they asked us if we knew anything about it.

[Charlie Barron's]

And then you guys, dude, pub safe.

[Miles]

Is definitely a bunch of rats. They're just ratting people out. I mean, this guy was. Thought he was slick, and then pub safe shows up and starts spilling the beans. They're not even real cops, Charlie.

[Charlie Barron's]

They're rented. But you know what? No shame to the pub safe game.

[Miles]

They. I mean, they're in the public safe.

[Charlie Barron's]

They got their place.

[Miles]

You're right.

[Charlie Barron's]

They got their place. It's usually sitting down, but anyways. So your buddy's got a restraining order.

[Miles]

Let's dive into the buddy. What's he like? Is this a big surprise to you guys or you're like, no, dude, he's definitely not at all.

[Charlie Barron's]

No, not at all. He's got that roe, huh? That restraining order order energy.

[David]

Yep.

[Charlie Barron's]

So what. What's his. What's his interactions with women, Ben, so far? In your experience with him, you said he was wheeling a lot of beer. Yeah, he drinks a lot of beer.

[Miles]

Gallery, you gotta come closer. What do you guys got, stadium seating in that college house with the couch on some cinder blocks? Get it? Get closer to the phone.

[David]

All right. Yeah. So he talks to a lot of women, but he gets nothing from them. They all, like, run away scared for some reason.

[Miles]

Well, what's his pickup line?

[David]

I don't think he has one. It's come over, we'll drink some beers, and then they come over, drink beers and walk out, and he gets nothing.

[Charlie Barron's]

So he. They come over to the house to drink beers, and then he. Is he like a good looking guy? Does it seem like he should be able to have a girlfriend? He's a Midwest four at best. Okay, well, what are you guys with a mullet?

[Miles]

You guys are acting like he doesn't pull a. You know, he can't hit on any women and get any girls. What are you guys. How are you guys doing?

[David]

Oh, we're doing great.

[Charlie Barron's]

That you just said we're doing great in a way that I do not believe you are doing great.

[David]

We all got girlfriends. It's just him.

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, okay, I see.

[Miles]

This is a gang up situation.

[Charlie Barron's]

You guys are signaling. Oh, signaling him out just because he's got a restraining order. Very mature.

[Miles]

Let's all pick on the restraining order guy. Just because we just. Cause we decided to stick with one woman the rest of our life, you know?

[Charlie Barron's]

Okay, here's how you do it. Here's how you do it. You Guys are all hanging out, bros one night. And, you know, one of you says, hey, we should look each other up and see if we got a criminal record. Dan, I'm starting with you or whatever your other guys names are. And then Dan will be like, no, don't look me up. All right? What? I wonder if my drinking tickets on it when I was 18. And then you get over to the restraining order fella, and then you'll see if he's going to come clean in that moment or he's going to. He's gonna. No, he's coming clean. He knows you're gonna look it up, you know, So I think that can open up the thing for a nice, healthy conversation. It can be on his own terms kinda, you know, I think.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, you guys are in college, you said. Yep.

[David]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So, you guys, I. It's been a while since I've been in college. Are you guys still ice in people?

[David]

What?

[Miles]

Are you guys still icing?

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, no, we're old. No, do you know what icing is?

[Miles]

What do you say? What did peanut gallery say?

[Charlie Barron's]

I don't know. They don't listen.

[Miles]

I mean, what do you guys say?

[David]

Banquet. Coors banquet.

[Miles]

No, like you hide a Smirnoff Ice in a drawer and your buddy opens it up and he's got chug the whole thing.

[David]

Yeah, we do that with Coors banquet, okay?

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, they do it with banquets. That's what they were saying. All right. They were communicating.

[Miles]

You need to do that. But wrapped around the banquet is you need to have a copy of his restraining order, and then he not only has to chug it, he also has the shame of standing there with his restraining order in hand.

[David]

All right, we'll do that.

[Charlie Barron's]

How's he going to react?

[David]

How are you going to talk about this? What's his end of this?

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, is he like, happy, go, lucky guy. Is this going to put him in a bad way? We don't. We don't want to start. We don't want to. You know, fellas made some mistakes, obviously, but we don't want to.

[Miles]

Charlie, why don't we profile him a little bit? I imagine this guy loves going to the gym and talking about the supplements that he takes. He's probably got some mirror selfies.

[Charlie Barron's]

Never been to the gym in the entire life.

[Miles]

Okay, well, I just don't have a beat on this guy. I mean, that's probably good. I don't know. Restraining order behaviors. You know.

[David]

He shoots a lot of birds, killed one goose in his entire life.

[Miles]

Okay, so why do you guys hang out with this guy? He kind of sounds like you hate him.

[Charlie Barron's]

He's what?

[David]

He's a roommate of ours. We have to hang out.

[Charlie Barron's]

Is he, is he a nice guy?

[David]

He can be. He can be.

[Charlie Barron's]

He can be. Okay, I mean, I think. Okay, this is a real tough one. Yeah, this is a tough one. I don't know. I, I, I think you got Miles's Coors approach. One of you can pull him aside and say, hey, I hear you like to text anything you want to tell me to my face.

[Miles]

You know, why don't you guys just do to him what he's doing to women? You know, just start texting him non stop kind of creepy stuff. Wouldn't that be something if he took out a restraining order on you guys then you won.

[Charlie Barron's]

That's it. You guys have to make him feel better about the situation. Okay? You got to make him feel more comfortable. But do not do it to women. For God's sake. One of, yeah, one of you take out a restraining order on another one of you and that way two of the roommates have restraining orders. So the water is warm to discuss your restraint issues and maybe you can help them grow together.

[Miles]

And then when they get gets out, everyone's gonna want to come over to your guys house for a party.

[Charlie Barron's]

That's true. I didn't think about that. Guys, I'll have the Ragers.

[Miles]

Yeah, honestly guys, stop talking about it. No one's gonna want to come over to your house anymore.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, maybe you just forget about the fact and just make sure he doesn't get himself into another. Well, I don't know, maybe accountability.

[Miles]

This is like a classic. When me and my parents get drunk and start arguing about something, we just wake up the next day and act like it never happened. And I think that's what you guys.

[Charlie Barron's]

Very catholic of you guys. Very catholic. He is doing his time in the eyes of the court. She could leave it at that or you could.

[Miles]

Oh, I know what it is. Here we go. You guys need to plan a chain of events for an evening that's going to make him potentially violate said restraining order and he's gonna out himself by not being able to do it.

[Charlie Barron's]

Miles, the only way he would out is restraining or is by talking to his ex fling and then.

[Miles]

Well, no, if like he knows that she's there, he knows he can't go there. He's gonna be like, guys, sorry, I gotta head back to the. Oh, I gotta head back to the pad and bad. Sorry.

[Charlie Barron's]

But you Do. You don't know the. The person, right?

[David]

No, we don't.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, sorry your roommates got restraining order. There's only so much we can do on that one.

[Miles]

Just do what me and my college buddies did anytime. Just make fun of him until he is ready to move out. Just do that.

[Charlie Barron's]

Okay.

[David]

All right.

[Charlie Barron's]

Miles is advocating bullying and I'll give you the opposite approach. Make it a safe space for him to talk about his feelings and why he did it. And help him become a better man. Okay. Maybe take away the beer and introduce him to weed. Nobody ever got a restraining order smoking weed.

[Miles]

Okay, very true. So you found it.

[Charlie Barron's]

A little bit of pot will go a long way. Happy to help you college kids. Talk to you soon.

[David]

All right, well, thank you.

[Charlie Barron's]

You guys too. Go Lions, baby.

[Miles]

Call. End the call.

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, kids these days, man. Restraining orders.

[Miles]

Getting a restraining order in college, I thought that was like creepy like 45 year old man behavior.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, no one's worth the restraining order, folks. There's no relationship out there worth fighting for that hard. Okay, if you find yourself obsessively texting someone or obsessively hounding someone, see a.

[Miles]

Therapist or just channel that into chat GPT. They'll talk to you all day.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, talk to the robots. You know, find yourself.

[Miles]

Should we take another caller?

[Stephanie]

Yeah, yeah, this is Stephanie.

[Charlie Barron's]

Hi, Stephanie, this is Charlie.

[Stephanie]

Hey, Berta. What are you guys doing?

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, we're hanging out at the bar. We're having a couple, you know, just. Just chilling. I'm here with Miles, he's my friend. What's going on? What's on? What's on your mind?

[Stephanie]

I wish I was calling because I've been listening to your guys podcast and I enjoyed listening to it. So I wanted to talk to you guys. I guess my first question I had was if you had any advice for a dog that eats poop.

[Charlie Barron's]

A dog that eats poop? That's. Well, first of all, why. Why are you kink shaming?

[Miles]

Oh my God.

[Charlie Barron's]

What? I'm just. What's so bad? What? What's the worst thing that can happen to your dog? Eating poop?

[Stephanie]

I guess there's not much bad about it, but it's kind of. It is kind of gross sometimes.

[Miles]

He's got bad breath. Charlie.

[Charlie Barron's]

What? Well, she's not making out with the dog. You know, dog's a dog. Let the animals be the animals. We gotta stop controlling them. You know, they were wolves at one point in time and we decided to breed them with. What kind of dog is this?

[Stephanie]

Oh, I have two Boston terriers. One he's really old, and then my other one I just adopted. He's really young, and he's the one that eats the older ones poop.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, there's a lot of wisdom in poop, and so he's probably just doing his best. Can they get diseases from that? Is that a.

[Stephanie]

Well, I work at a vet office, but I don't think they seem to have a problem with it, with diseases. Unless, I guess, unless one gets the disease and then they just keep giving it to each other.

[Miles]

Oh, hey, if there's no disease worry, then. Honestly, you're saving money on dog food now. You only got to feed one dog, and then he craps it out and feeds the other. What's so wrong with that?

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, and if you.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, I'll just.

[Charlie Barron's]

If you go ahead. If you think about it, there are several instances in human life where we consume things that have gone through other animals digestive systems. There is a coffee that they have. The sheep eat the coffee beans, and the sheep poop out the coffee beans, and then they use that coffee beans, a delicacy. Psychedelic mushrooms are grown on cow dung. So who are we to blow against the wind? Perhaps you just need to get yourself a good cup of coffee and some psychedelics and then, you know.

[Stephanie]

I guess so.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah.

[Stephanie]

I do love listening to all of you guys podcasts, and I didn't think I would get through to talk to you guys, so that's really cool.

[Miles]

Well, you got through here.

[Charlie Barron's]

Hey, can I ask you a question?

[Emily]

Yep.

[Charlie Barron's]

You know, we. This is fairly anonymous. We know your first name, which is great, but, you know, you. This is a safe space is what I'm trying to say. You got any. Anything you want to get off your chest? Any confessions you haven't told anyone else you want to tell us? It's kind of like the priest, except we're not priests at all. But it can help. Can help heal. Got any confessions for us?

[Stephanie]

I'm trying to think of any good ones. Let's see. I don't think. I don't think I have any good confessions.

[Charlie Barron's]

No. No. Okay. Okay.

[Stephanie]

But I was gonna. I was gonna ask you guys, how Midwest do you think Missouri is?

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, Missouri is a really interesting one.

[Miles]

I. I mean, it's definitely in the Midwest. I've spent some time in Missouri, Charlie. Now, I will have to say it's kind of, you know, they. They've adopted some Southern mentality. You know, you start getting further south in Missouri, there's. There's some hint, but I think that there's still the Midwest. They really love to drink alcohol down there, Charlie. Yeah, they do love shooting stuff. They love guns. They love hunting. I met some guys, they go hunted, like, every weekend down in Missouri.

[Charlie Barron's]

It. It is. Yep, it is. It's got a quite the blend with the south, too. So, you know, you've got a lot of your outdoor activities in the South. It's almost a bridge between the Midwest and the south. And you kind of realize we're not so different in a lot of ways.

[Stephanie]

That's a good way to think of it.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, it's kind of the land where, like. Where, like, the. The bless your heart blends with the watch out for deer to bless your deer area. Yes, exactly.

[Miles]

Bless your deer or watch your heart. Yeah.

[Stephanie]

That's funny.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Is that where you're from? Is Missouri?

[Stephanie]

Yeah, Missouri. Pretty close to St. Louis.

[Miles]

Okay, nice.

[Charlie Barron's]

St. Louis is a great spot. I'll have a show coming up down there. Come on out.

[Stephanie]

That has the wet and shellfish.

[Charlie Barron's]

I'm pretty sure the shellfish are subpar, but. No, I said I got a show coming down there.

[Stephanie]

Oh, you do?

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Emily]

That's cool.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah. Sounds like it. Sounds like she's gonna come.

[Miles]

She's like, I don't think that's very.

[Charlie Barron's]

Interesting to me, but you just insulted our shellfish. There's no way I'm coming.

[Stephanie]

No, no, no. I am a really picky eater, so I don't eat a lot of seafood and. I couldn't hear you. I couldn't hear you very well. I was like. Did you say shellfish? I couldn't hear you.

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, no, I got that. And then I decided to double down on the fact that you couldn't hear shellf it. So Miles is just laughing because I'm taking this. Sometimes I take these calls into. Into Narnia, and it's.

[Miles]

I'm just laughing because it's just complete miscommunication between you two. You're talking about your comedy show, and she thinks you're trying to get her to eat shellfish.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, I clarified, though, and then she understood. And then since we were talking about shellfish, I figured we'd finish the conversation. Well, anyways, you got anything you want, buy, sell, or trade? A dog that eats crap.

[Stephanie]

If that is something that to get off my chest would be like, I am kind of scared of dying. I think that's kind of a scary thought in my mind.

[Miles]

Okay, well, let's dive into that, Charlie.

[Charlie Barron's]

Scared of death. Fear of death. You know, I'm Catholic. So I'll one up ya. I'm scared of going to hell. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, dying is not so bad when you think about hell. And that's kind of the thing you gotta think about. If, if you are scared of something, all you got to do is think about something else you're more scared of. And then that makes the thing you were originally scared of not so bad.

[Miles]

Problem is, is when the one thing you're scared of leads to the next thing you're scared of.

[Charlie Barron's]

But she's got a good life. She's housing a poop eaten dog.

[Miles]

There's a special place in heaven already in purgatory.

[Charlie Barron's]

And speaking of heaven, this helps with the dog. Might I say all dogs go to heaven. All right. Are you a believer? Do you believe in one God or the other?

[Stephanie]

It's hard. I have mixed feelings.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, we all do. But you know, at the end of the day I think there's this Bible quote. God is love and all who live in love live in God. So whether you believe in God or love, we all believe in the same thing, don't we, Miles?

[Miles]

Very well put.

[David]

You just did you guys, did you.

[Stephanie]

Guys have, did you guys have any rum buckets today?

[Charlie Barron's]

Any rum buckets? The hell kind of follow up question is that?

[Miles]

Does it sound like Charlie's had a rum bucket or two?

[Stephanie]

No, I just, I just didn't think I'd get on the phone side. Like I gotta think of every question I want to ask them. I've been listening like to all the episodes.

[Miles]

No, I've been trying to get Charlie to do a rum bucket since the last one and he's kind of a slippery guy when it comes to rum.

[Charlie Barron's]

I just, I got the rot bucket bucket after the rum bucket. You know, it just eats.

[Stephanie]

What is the rock bucket?

[Charlie Barron's]

It just eats away at your gut and a little bit of your soul. Yeah. Oh, you ever wake up in the morning after a rum bucket? Boy, I'll tell you, you're scared of hell that morning. Okay, you want nothing more than call your mom. You know, how, how old are you?

[Stephanie]

I am 20. I always forget how old I am. I'm gonna be 29 this year.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, you can't be too scared about that. What, you think you're gonna die soon? What'd you go down? My AI rabbit hole? What's going on?

[Stephanie]

No, it just seems like life is flying by so fast.

[Miles]

Oh, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink. One day your dog's eating your other Dog. And you take a nap and you wake up and your dog died and your neck. So don't blink. You know, it's always, you always gotta remember that song.

[Charlie Barron's]

It's a beautiful country song.

[Stephanie]

I'm gonna be really sad when you guys stop making episodes because it, like, makes my day every time that you guys have a new episode too.

[Miles]

She's already talking about her retirement.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, yeah, we're not trying to go anywhere yet, you know.

[Stephanie]

All right, but you have another 20 years, so don't, Don't. You better get complaining going.

[Miles]

Okay?

[Charlie Barron's]

All right.

[Miles]

We gotta do it for another 20 years.

[Charlie Barron's]

Another 20. Don't blink, Miles. Don't blink.

[Stephanie]

I had to ask you guys because it's a big thing between my cousin and wives of what you keep the thermostat at at home?

[Miles]

69.

[Charlie Barron's]

You keep it at 69? Oh, Miles is making a perverted joke. No, do you really keep at 69, though? That's a hint. Ch.

[Miles]

Well, so my kid actually runs a little hot.

[Charlie Barron's]

Okay.

[Miles]

So, like, It'll be like 72 degrees out and he gets too hot and starts crying. So we gotta, like, bring a fan with us.

[Charlie Barron's]

What a prince, dude. Oh, my God.

[Miles]

He was born in the cold and you merely adopted it. Charlie, he doesn't like the hot weather, and so we actually keep our house a little bit chillier so he's more comfortable.

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, wow, look at that.

[Miles]

I was born in it.

[Charlie Barron's]

We're doing a Blaine or not. Blame pain.

[Miles]

Charlie had a few rum buckets.

[Charlie Barron's]

I did not have a rum bucket. I, I. Oh, yeah. In the summer I keep it at 75. And in the winter I keep it at, like, 68.

[Stephanie]

Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, that's what, my husband likes it.

[Miles]

He's trying to save money. I see what's going on.

[Charlie Barron's]

No, it's just a pro, you know, that's, that's just comfortable. I kind of, like, I grew up without the ac, so I kind of. I, I don't mind it a little bit. I could sleep with just the top sheet on, you know?

[Stephanie]

Yeah, I prefer to be cold, but my husband, I would say, likes to save some money, so he likes that warmer temperature.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, you sleep better when you know you're saving money.

[Stephanie]

Yep, that is true. That is true.

[Miles]

Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling today. We're happy that you got on. Good luck with the shitty dog. I wouldn't be too worried about it. So thanks for calling in today and have a good one.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, you guys have a good one.

[Charlie Barron's]

Watch out for deer you, too, now. I mean, touched all sorts of lives.

[Miles]

I love how she was, like, didn't want to hang up, so she was just pulling any question out. It's like I was afraid if we didn't end the call, we were going to get into politics next, you know.

[Charlie Barron's]

I was like, well, we already touched on religion.

[Miles]

Talked religion. We talked the meaning of life. We talked money with the thermostat. The next one's politics.

[Charlie Barron's]

Next one's politics.

[Miles]

We got out when we did.

[Charlie Barron's]

Got out before the cooking was good.

[Miles]

Should we take another caller, Charlie?

[Charlie Barron's]

Let's do it. Miles. Hey, pal. You stuck with insurance companies pushing you around after an injury? Miles, have you ever been pushed around by an insurance company after an injury?

[Miles]

Well, luckily, I like to stay uninjured. But if I do, I don't like it when those insurance companies are pushing me around.

[Charlie Barron's]

Insurance companies suck eggs unless they want to sponsor this podcast. But I'll tell you this much, Nicolay Law, that's your ace in the hole, baby. They don't mess around. Tough cases are their special tea. And they get you the dough you deserve, Miles. Do you like dough?

[Miles]

Look at me.

[Charlie Barron's]

I mean. I mean, you are a doe. A deer, Miles. Deer. I like it. Well, you like the dough you deserve, Miles. With offices in North Dakota, Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin. They are practically. They're in your backyard. Here's the kicker, though. If they don't win, you don't pay. That's about that.

[Miles]

I like that. Charlie, we got some more fan mail. Fan mail. Here's the mail. It never fails. It makes me want to wake my tail when it comes, I want to. Wait. This one comes from a fan. Comes from Emily from Northfield, Minnesota. She says. Hey, guys.

[Charlie Barron's]

Hey, Emily.

[Miles]

Hunting season is almost here, which means my husband will be MIA in the woods for weeks.

[Charlie Barron's]

Weeks. He must suck at hunting.

[Miles]

Terrible shot.

[Charlie Barron's]

God.

[Miles]

I'm pretty sure he's secretly a deer whisperer. And I'm left to play solo couch potato. I don't how. Where's this going?

[Charlie Barron's]

Couch potato.

[Miles]

Where is this going?

[Charlie Barron's]

What's he doing with those deer in the woods for weeks?

[Miles]

Well, no, this is Emily's. The solo couch potato. Well, he's gone.

[Charlie Barron's]

No, I know, but she said. I'm still confused what he's doing. Them deer whisper into those deer might be doing something.

[Miles]

Emily also says, I get that he needs his time in nature, but I'm starting to feel like a single parent. Any tips on how to make this time a bit more bearable?

[Charlie Barron's]

Divorce proceedings. Start them up or not get divorced.

[Miles]

I know. That's like you love getting divorces, Charlie.

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, relax, Miles. It was a light hearted joke. I've only been divorced once. Chill on it.

[Miles]

She needs some help before she starts naming the squirrels in the backyard. She said so. What? What is something.

[Charlie Barron's]

God, what is something on the tip of my.

[Miles]

It's on the tip of my tongue. Tip, tip. Tippy cow. She could drink Tippy Cow. Guys, if you're a solo couch potato at home, there's no better way to pass the time than to tip on back some tippy cow and, you know, relax. So guys, if you are a solo couch potato looking for something to do, go to find the tippy cow. Pour it up. Charlie and I are drinking the chocolate shake today.

[Charlie Barron's]

Chocolate shock.

[Miles]

Check it out. Tippy cow, baby. Hi.

[Emily]

This is Emily.

[Charlie Barron's]

Emily.

[Emily]

I'm Emily.

[Charlie Barron's]

That's my sister's name.

[Emily]

Yeah. Oh, great name. It's a great, great name. I love it.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, Emily, what's on your mind?

[Emily]

Oh, my goodness. Okay, so I'm a college student at Wayne State. Go cats.

[Miles]

Wait, which Wayne State in Nebraska or Michigan?

[Emily]

In Nebraska.

[Miles]

My MSU Dragons just lost to the Wayne State Wildcats a couple weeks ago. Charlie. Also, when I played in college, we played Wayne State. And that was my first ever college start. Charlie, get the yearbook out. And there's a video of me getting decapitated by a Wayne State player.

[Charlie Barron's]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah, I'll show it to you.

[Charlie Barron's]

I'd love to watch that.

[Miles]

It's tough. So anyway, gosh, I don't actually mean boo, but boo to the football team.

[Emily]

Oh, shoot. Well, I'm a ticket gal, so I. At the last football game, I have to go sell tickets.

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, you're working gal.

[Miles]

Good for a work study, I think they call that.

[Emily]

Yeah, no, yeah. No, not. Not my only job, but, you know, gotta. Gotta pay rent.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, well, you didn't call in to talk about your jobs. What'd you call in for?

[Emily]

So. So I'm like a nice Midwest gal, but I cannot find a nice Midwest boy. And it's becoming kind of an issue because all my friends are now getting married and I don't have any dates.

[Charlie Barron's]

You don't have a date? All right, well, let's. We'll do it. We'll do it. Give us the specs. What do you like to do? How old are you? We know where you're living. And what kind of a fellow do you want? Give us the height. Restrict. Give us the type. Just lay it on the line.

[Miles]

Girth restrictions.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yup. This is A bellied up, bellied up Tinder profile.

[Emily]

Okay. Perf. So preferably taller than, like, me. So, like, taller than like, 5, 7, 5 8, you know.

[Charlie Barron's]

Okay. You could take a short king then.

[Emily]

I. I could, you know, at this point in time, if you're funny, you know, whoever would work. Preferably a farmer. I'm a little farm gal, so if you go in cows and land, I'm interested.

[Charlie Barron's]

Damn.

[Emily]

Automatically.

[Charlie Barron's]

All right.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Emily]

But yeah, no. Someone who likes to go out, drink a couple beers. Ever had a grain belt?

[Charlie Barron's]

Grain belt? Oh, yeah. Fan. Nice. Beer.

[Emily]

No, those are good.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So what's. I mean, it seems like you're not too picky. What's been the problem?

[Emily]

Well, quite frankly, most of the dudes in. In my college town, they're just kind of weird. They just. They do weird stuff, they say weird things and that are just like, icks.

[Charlie Barron's]

Like what?

[Emily]

Well, Wayne is a small college, so, like, everyone knows everyone. And, like, I was talking to this one guy one time and I thought things were, like, really going well. And then I confronted, or not confronted, but I was like, hey, do you like me? And then he straight up told me no. Just to figure out, like, two weekends ago, he's basically hooking up with one of my friends.

[Miles]

So. What did you say to your friend?

[Emily]

Nothing, I. She told me everything because I was. She thinks that something's gonna happen out of it.

[Miles]

So she doesn't know he was talking to you?

[Emily]

Yeah, no, this dude was like. I had classes with him. He was holding open doors, wanting to study with me.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, that could just be very Midwest of him.

[Miles]

He, like, actually was looking for a study partner. Like, completely platonic, innocent, really bad at math.

[Charlie Barron's]

He what?

[Emily]

No, he's smarter than me. So, like, I was like, low key using him. Like.

[Charlie Barron's]

Wow. Well, symbiotic in that way then. I mean, what's the rush? What's the rush? Is everyone in your family getting married? What's going on?

[Emily]

Oh, my gosh. Out of my one friend group, all of them, they grab. So I'm the youngest out of that friend group. But all of them got. All of them are married besides me.

[Charlie Barron's]

How old are you?

[Emily]

22, 23.

[Charlie Barron's]

None of them will last.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Charlie Barron's]

Hey, wait for the divorces to come.

[Miles]

Yeah, they're gonna all be coming. They're all gonna be coming solo, single, to your wedding someday. So don't worry about that.

[Charlie Barron's]

You got time.

[Emily]

Okay, Perth. No, but. But it still doesn't help that, like, I don't. I need to just find a dude for Like a date, just so I'm not going to these weddings alone. Well, I don't need to marry him.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, that shouldn't be hard. Find a dude for a dude.

[Miles]

Actually go on Tinder and say you're just looking for one day, one dates. There's gonna be a ton of guys out there that are wanting to do that.

[Emily]

Except I've already tried that.

[Miles]

Oh.

[Emily]

And again, I just find weirdos. Like one. I was talking to this one guy, and turns out he originally grew up about 20 miles from my hometown, and he was. He's a couple years older than me. He ended up dating some girl from the most. My same hometown. And we have not talked since he brought that up, so he hasn't responded, so.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, you're. I don't. You're striking out there. You're. What? Yeah.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barron's]

You don't need. You don't need a date for a wedding. Just go. Go find someone on the dance floor.

[Miles]

Could also try out chicks.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah. Have you tried that? The gals?

[Emily]

Well, I do have my gal pals.

[Miles]

But, yeah, bring them to a wedding, too.

[Emily]

And a holler.

[Charlie Barron's]

You're not interested.

[Stephanie]

But I'm. But I'm not.

[Emily]

I'm not. I'm not into girls. They're not my. There's. I have a roommate and that's enough. Like, I could not.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah. I'm trying to exercise all possibilities here.

[Emily]

Yeah, well, we're just really in a pickle.

[Charlie Barron's]

You have siblings?

[Emily]

Yes, I do. I got three of them.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, do they. Any of them have friends?

[Emily]

Well, I've already been set up with all my older sister's friends, but they're all. They're all. None of them ever worked out.

[Miles]

Well, I'm starting to not. I mean, everything we throw at you is not a good idea. So, I mean, by process of elimination. I don't want to say it, but maybe it's time to realize that when you pointing a finger, there's three more pointed right back at you.

[Charlie Barron's]

Oh, my.

[Miles]

I don't want to go there. But my process of elimination don't make your thinking.

[Charlie Barron's]

Comes on this podcast. She's vulnerable, saying she's looking for a date for these weddings, for these people are going to get divorced in a few years, and then you're just saying it's her issue.

[Miles]

I didn't say that. I said, could it be that we need to change something to get on the right path?

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, you know what I'm gonna say. Oh, go ahead. Go ahead.

[Emily]

Oh, so what do I change about myself, then?

[Miles]

Well, so do you. Come on strong, huh? There you go. There we go.

[Emily]

That's it.

[Miles]

You gotta. If you want to get a date.

[Emily]

Then they get scared.

[Miles]

I know. If you want to date, you gotta act like you don't want to date. Nothing makes a guy want to date someone more than someone who doesn't want to date them.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah. You ever go fishing for bass?

[Emily]

No, not, not a big fisher dow.

[Charlie Barron's]

Well, that's a problem right there. But bass as a lure comes by. They, they, they want it. They want it because they can't have it because they can't catch it, you know, so you just want to be that, that little spinner, bait and. Okay, yeah, just buzz the tower and keep going. And then you're gonna, you're gonna find yourself something sweet. I tell you that much.

[Emily]

Well, no, well, thanks. Thanks for the advice. I also. You know what? I'll take it. You know?

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, just don't try. As hard. As weird as that sounds, I think if you just be more chill about it, I think you'll have more success.

[Emily]

Okay. No, no. Well, I also called about Miles, my sister. She got married this summer and I met her brother in law and he is your doppelganger.

[Miles]

Okay. Sounds like a pretty hot guy.

[Emily]

Oh, no, he's a hoot and a holler.

[Miles]

No, that's not, that's not, that's not what.

[Charlie Barron's]

He's funny.

[Miles]

That's not what I said. I said he was hot. He's a good looking guy and you said he was funny, so what's that mean?

[Emily]

He's not really my type. But, but he's also married, so that didn't help. And he's like 10 years older than me.

[Miles]

Okay. I am almost 10 years old, but. No, that's nice. Sounds like a good, good guy.

[Emily]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What is your type? What do you like? You have Farmer.

[Charlie Barron's]

She said that.

[Miles]

Sorry.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah. You want to throw out your Instagram for any fellas interested in sliding into your DMs?

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barron's]

What's your Instagram?

[Emily]

Yeah, no, it's Emily and then Wookman. W O O C K M A N. Wookman.

[Miles]

W O O C K M A N. It's a great name.

[Emily]

Very German.

[Miles]

Yeah. Well, we hope that you can find love. And remember, just don't come on too strong. It. You know, you come storming through the woods, you're gonna spook a nice buck. You gotta be silent, you gotta be quiet. It's almost like they don't even know you're there. And then you okay. Yeah, shoot them right in the heart.

[Charlie Barron's]

There you go. A little cupid up there.

[Emily]

Well, shoot, you know what? Yeah, I think that's what I gotta do. Well, thank you for your guys's time. I appreciate it.

[Miles]

Yeah, it was great talking.

[Charlie Barron's]

Thank you, Emily. Good luck out there with the fellas, all right? And.

[Miles]

Go Dragons.

[Emily]

No, go Cats. Go Cats.

[Charlie Barron's]

We'll see you soon. Take care now.

[Miles]

Well, Charlie, that's another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast.

[Charlie Barron's]

ITB Miles in the box.

[Miles]

That's what it is. Cba could be anything.

[Charlie Barron's]

Could be anything, could be anyone.

[Miles]

There's a guy at the bar yesterday.

[Charlie Barron's]

I know. I was listening to him come up to me.

[Miles]

CBA could be anything. Could be anyone.

[Charlie Barron's]

Works in every situation.

[Miles]

Cba. Well, Charlie, it's been a pleasure.

[Charlie Barron's]

Yeah, Miles.

[Miles]

Guys, thanks for tuning into another episode of the Bellied up podcast. As always, tip your bartender. We'll see you next one.

[Charlie Barron's]

Bye.