How to Win a Prank War #210

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast — How to Win a Prank War (#210)

Hosts: Charlie Berens & Myles “You Betcha Guy”
Date: July 23, 2026
Location: Sunlight Bar and Grill, between Big and Little Floyd, Detroit Lakes, MN

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Episode Overview

This week, Charlie and Myles belly up at the Sunlight Bar and Grill, sampling the legendary “Wild Burger” and fielding live callers from all over the Midwest. The episode is a classic blend of Midwest bar banter, comedic riffs, and real advice—ranging from relationship dilemmas to managing a small business prank war. The main highlights revolve around two call-in discussions: one on whether to propose (and how much to spend on a ring), and the other about reigning in a landscaping crew’s escalating prank war. As always, the duo’s signature blend of Midwestern humor, sincerity, and down-to-earth wisdom carries the show.

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Key Discussion Points & Callers

1. Midwest Spa Ideas and Sunlight Bar Antics (00:00–13:50)

• Sunlight Bar and Grill Introduction

  • Charlie and Myles describe the “Wild Burger” ($30+ for a beef/bison/elk/bacon monstrosity).
  • “You get a cow, a bison, an elk, and you get a pig on that sucker, Miles.” – Charlie (01:18)
  • Riff about sharing meals and old Midwest habits.

• Midwestern Spa Concept (03:06–13:50)

  • Inspired by fish nibbling Charlie’s toes in the lake.
  • Imaginary spa includes: “toe-sucking sunnies”, fried pickles on the eyes, DIY back scratchers (“just scratch your own damn back”), a dripping sink for ambiance, and finishing with easy home projects.
  • “You pick your weapon of choice—just like the back rubber.” – Myles (10:16)
  • The sign of a true Midwest spa: polka music, classic Packers radio calls, and a fishing pole at the ready.

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2. Caller #1: JJ (UPS Driver) — Relationship, Finances, and Fart Tax (16:34–48:12)

JJ’s Main Questions:

• Should he propose to his girlfriend?
• Is it worth spending nearly $8,000 on the ring she wants?
• How to handle her “silent but deadly” farts?

Notable Highlights and Quotes:

• On Marriage Decision:

  • “Historically speaking, if you gotta call a podcast to figure out if you should propose, you got a lot of Charlie in your future, JJ. I’ll tell you that.” – Charlie (18:09)
  • JJ and his girlfriend are 25 and 24, respectively, have been dating two years, and survived suspended licenses, debt, and long hours.

• The $8K Ring Dilemma:

  • “Supposed to be three years salary is what you’re supposed to spend on a ring.” – Myles (32:14)
  • “Have it look similar to the style and everything that she wants and shop around. You can’t just go to one.” – Charlie (39:38)
  • Recommendation: Buy within budget; consider lab-grown diamonds or cubic zirconia.

• The ‘Fart Tax’:

  • JJ laments his girlfriend’s lethal flatulence. This is treated as comic gold:
    • “Are they loud?” – Charlie (34:22)
    • “No, they’re like silent killers.” – JJ (34:25)
    • “You definitely, though, knowing this, you can definitely go $4000 ring for sure. And if she complains, just go—well, then you need to stop farting.” – Myles (37:35)
    • “This is fart tax.” – Charlie (37:41)

• Replay-worthy Moment:

  • Calculating the equivalent Uber cost for all the times JJ’s girlfriend drove him during his license suspension.
    • “If that price equals $8,000, you better buy her that ring.” – Charlie (43:32)
    • The debate ends in classic Charlie-versus-Myles style: Charlie flip-flops after adding up her effort, advocating for the big ring out of “guilt/unconditional love.”

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3. Caller #2: Justin in New Jersey — How to Win (or End) a Workplace Prank War (51:10–87:23)

Justin’s Dilemma:

• As a small-business owner, how to manage an escalating prank war among staff which is starting to eat into productivity without killing morale altogether.

Prank War Escalations:

• AI-generated embarrassing photos.
• Powder bombs hidden in equipment to “paint” the next victim.
• CVS shopping sprees for prank supplies on company time.

Hosts’ Advice, Bits, and Schemes:

• Embrace some level of chaos:

  • “Don’t put a kibosh to it. Escalate it—let them push it too far, then you can shut it down and no one will be mad.” – Myles (60:13)
  • “Maybe someone has to go to the hospital with powder in their eye—then it’s over and they’ll remember it forever.” – Charlie (60:37)

• Prank War Containment Strategies:

  • Tom Foolery Friday: Sanction pranks on a set day or week, especially during slow season. (62:11, 72:01)
  • Marketing Angle: Make “prank week” into a promo, encourage themed outfits (“Hawaiian Shirt Friday” with questionable designs).
  • “Consolidate your prank wars into a one week period in the slow times.” – Charlie (72:19)

• Ultimate Kickoff Pranks:

  • Exploding Chair Airbags (78:21): Install airbags under breakroom chairs, set off during a fake “mandatory meeting.”
    • “Airbag under each seat, boom, that’s the explosion you’re looking for.” – Myles (78:21)
  • Squirrel Noise Machine Slow-Burn (76:26): Hide animal noise device in trucks to induce long-term confusion.
  • Fake Beer Bottle Smash: Use stunt (sugar glass) bottles for a staged, shocking brawl.

• Meta Insights:

  • Myles admits “prank war” is his nightmare, hating the unpredictability and loss of control. (70:00–71:02)

• Resolutions:

  • Brand the prank war, limit it to “prank weeks,” give workers something to look forward to while reducing unsanctioned distractions.
  • “If it continues to be out of hand, you shut it down like Jon Taffer at a shitty bar.” – Myles (74:52)

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4. Burgers, Banter, and Midwest Wrap-up (87:31–End)

• Hosts chow down on the Wild Burger, give a live “food review.”
  • “My taste buds have meat confusion. You ever just get too much meat in your mouth and your brain doesn’t know what to do with it?” – Myles (88:38)
• Goofy closing bits on “docking your bartender,” inside jokes, and more evidence that despite their growing profile, these are still two Midwest dudes goofing off at a bar.

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Notable Quotes & Moments With Timestamps

• Midwestern Spa:

  • “You get a cow, a bison, an elk, and you get a pig on that sucker, Miles.” – Charlie, (01:18)
  • “You pick your weapon of choice—just like the back rubber.” – Myles (10:16)

• Engagement Ring Advice:

  • “Supposed to be three years salary is what you’re supposed to spend on a ring.” – Myles (32:14)
  • “This is fart tax.” – Charlie (37:41)

• On Workplace Pranking:

  • “If someone could get physically hurt pretty bad, that would be good for you.” – Myles (61:09, joking)
  • “Move all the pranks to the winter.” – Charlie (71:58)
  • “Brand the prank war, dog days of summer, prank war.” – Myles (72:12)
  • “Airbag under each seat, boom, that’s the explosion you’re looking for.” – Myles (78:21)

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Episode Structure & Flow

• 00:00–13:50: Midwest regional humor, Sunlight Bar stories, outlandish “Midwest spa” invention
• 16:34–48:12: Caller JJ—relationships, proposal, and life burdens, real vs. comedic takes on commitment
• 51:10–87:23: Caller Justin—saga of the prank war, brainstorming boundaries and escalation, actionable solutions
• 87:31–End: Burger review, sign-off riffing, Midwest wordplay

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode embodies everything that makes Bellied Up a Midwest gem: deadpan banter, insightful and absurd advice, and unexpected depth in how people solve real-life (and very local) problems. Whether helping a young man wrestle with marriage and fart-induced hardship or gaming out how to let landscapers prank each other without bankrupting the business, Charlie and Myles toggle from bits to truths to bits again—always with a Busch Light spirit and a proud accent.

If you want a masterclass in comedic Midwest problem-solving and some legitimately useful crowd management strategies, this one’s full of “prank week” inspiration, creative advice, and nonsensical delight. Tip your bartender, and maybe don’t buy an $8,000 ring if it comes with a daily fart tax.

Transcript

[A]

Well, folks, here we are. Welcome to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. My name is Charlie Behrens, here with my fearless host in crime, Miles, the you betcha guy.

[B]

How we doing, folks?

[A]

Miles, we are at Sunset Sunlight Bar and Grill. Sunlight Bar and Grill.

[B]

What lake is this, Floyd? Is it big or Little Floyd? We're right in between Big and Little Floyd.

[A]

Where I like to be, Miles, here

[B]

in the Detroit Lakes, Minnesota area, Charlie.

[A]

I like to be right between the Floyd.

[B]

So what's one thing about Sunlight Bar Grill is I did a video here one time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I found out that they have what they're what is called the Wild Burger.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Look what's on the Wild Burger right there.

[A]

Read it off the Wild burger cash slash card. $30 to $3120, and you will say,

[B]

wow, that's a lot for a burger. But look what you get.

[A]

That is a lot for a burger. You get one beef patty, one bison patty, one elk patty. Holy. Oh, man. Three slices of American cheese, four slices of bacon, one side choice fries, salad, cottage cheese, potato salad, no meat substitution.

[B]

What are you gonna sub it for? It's all on there.

[A]

It is, yeah.

[B]

So you get. You get a cow, you get a bison, you get an elk, and you get a pig on that sucker, Miles.

[A]

That is wild.

[B]

And so I think we should split one today.

[A]

I would love to split one with you.

[B]

Like my grandparents split every me meal.

[A]

Miles and I went out to dinner last night and I got a steak, he got the walleye, and I suggested we split the meal. I told our waitresses we had two of them that we would be splitting the meal.

[B]

Two waitresses.

[A]

One was training, one wasn't training, and. But yeah, they were all for it. And then when it came time to do splitsies, Miles over here pulled back. He didn't offer me walleye or nothing.

[B]

I thought you were joking.

[A]

To me, I was serious. But steak was good.

[B]

You were doing the bit of like. Oh, we could do the Wisconsin surf and turf. Yeah, Steak and walleye.

[A]

I was doing kind of a bit. That's all right. It was hard to. Hard to hear because we were karaoke

[B]

and I didn't know that when I brought you there.

[A]

They had some good pipes, though, some good singers.

[C]

I like it.

[B]

So, yeah, we're going to try that today, Charlie.

[A]

We are going to try that. I do. I am excited. How are you feeling? Are you caffeinated up, Miles?

[B]

I am caffeinated.

[A]

You got a little flirty this morning.

[B]

Currently shooting a YouTube video where I drink a different energy drink every day for 30 days and see which one I like the most. And today, I drank an energy drink called Flirt with. No I. I drank it, too, and.

[A]

Oh, there wasn't an I in it.

[B]

No, it was just flrt. Very millennial.

[A]

It could also be flirt.

[B]

Could be flirt.

[A]

It's when you fart while you're flirting.

[B]

Fl. You know, flirt. I don't know. Okay, we don't know.

[A]

We don't. It could be any vowel. Any vowel.

[B]

But, yeah, I forgot to. I didn't eat anything this morning, and I had to sit down after drinking it. I felt like a total wuss.

[A]

So that's a psa. Do not flirt on an empty stomach.

[B]

There you go. So you guys got to be on the Lookout for that YouTube video coming out, and. But, Charlie. Yeah, we. What were you doing right before this?

[A]

Well, I got a wet hat. I can tell you that.

[B]

You're still wearing the wet hat.

[A]

Yeah, I only brought one hat.

[B]

It's sopping wet.

[A]

Yeah, it is. It is sopping wet. But Miles and I, we were shooting a video. Your dad, when you ding the prop. And then. So I got in. Miles had this great idea. Why don't you get in?

[B]

No, no. My quote was, we were trying to figure out how to end the video, and I said, charlie, if you're really committed to the bit, you just get in the lake in your jeans.

[A]

And I did, because I am committed to this bit. And so I'm there messing with the prop and, you know, doing the whole dad thing. And then I see these. These sunnies come up, just swimming up over to these sunfish, swimming up to my feet, and they started. I've never seen sunfish get that close. Really? Well, I mean, maybe so in the lakes in Wisconsin, they're not as clear

[B]

as you're, like, so you can't even see them.

[A]

You can see them, but maybe. But they. They seem more skittish. Yeah. I've never had. Certainly never had this many sunfish come up and just. They were pecking. They were attacking my toes. I was like, am I on their spawning bed or something? What's going on? But no, they were playing with me, man. They were. They started sucking my toes, and that was honestly feeling pretty good.

[B]

And Charlie said that we need to start a spa. And that's the. This. The foot spa treatment is just the sunny, sunny. The sunny sock.

[A]

The sunny sock. Yeah. Hey, we should start that right now. We should do it right. Right. Next spot, right next to this. This is the Sun.

[B]

What would you. What would you make? What would be included in a Midwestern spa?

[A]

It's a great question. A midway. Well, first of all, we got that. We got it. We got it with the sunnies.

[B]

You got a bucket full of sunnies that suck. Suck your toes.

[A]

Yeah. Toe sucking sunnies, for sure.

[C]

That's a little. Sliced pickles on the eyes.

[B]

Yeah, I was going to say like, like fried. Sliced fly. Fried pickles on your eyes. That.

[A]

That's awesome. Yeah. And then for a massage. For a massage. Okay, so you. I feel like it's got to be a mechanical massage. Like a. A wheelbarrow. Like you lay on the wheel.

[B]

Yeah. Like they do hot rocks and stuff at like, fancy spas.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What would be the. You just. You just. What would be the equivalent.

[A]

You just. You just put of hot rocks. You just put like hot oil filters, like, right off the car. You know, like you're doing an oil.

[C]

You.

[A]

That's it. You drive your car there, they do an oil change and they take the old filter, which is still hot, and put it on your back. That's great, dude. Yeah. And then for the actual massaging, I don't know. I don't know where we go with that. You know? What do you think? I mean, maybe just standard.

[B]

No, no.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What would be relaxing? You know, like, what music? If you're getting a massage where they playing in the background?

[A]

I think they got a little soft polka going in the background.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or maybe like they're just playing the. The radio announcer recording of like when the packers won the Super Bowl. If you're a Packers fan, you know.

[A]

Oh, that would be great if you could go into a spa and have the 97 Super Bowl 31 just. Just playing down low. And then maybe the masseuse just scratches

[C]

your back for like 10 minutes.

[B]

Yeah, it's like not even a massage. It's just like getting your back rubbed.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Sometimes you, like, you come away from massage. Like, holy shit. They're really getting in there. Sometimes you just want like your wife to just scratch your back. That would be nice. Yeah, no, they don't even. We're Midwesterners. We don't even have a masseuse on staff. It's just a room with various types of back scratchers and you just do it yourself.

[A]

Yeah, that's, you know.

[B]

You know, like they got. They got hammers on the wall so you can scratch your back with a claw of it. Then they have the ones that, like, you can buy that are like actual back scratchers. And then there's ones with like, a. Like a wheel on the end. Have you seen those? Like. Like a notched wheel that you can just rub on your own back?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

They just have a plethora of different corners in the room. You know, one's like a metal corner, one's a wood corner, one's Sheetrock, one's carpeted. And then you can just go up and scratch your back on the ones that you want. We don't need a massage. We don't need a masseuse. We could do it ourselves.

[A]

And there's a sink there that's just dripping. And you're like, I can handle that. You know, it's a lot of easy home. Home improvement. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's like quick wins.

[A]

Yeah. A lot of clogged. A lot of clogged drains, you know?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like a project. Something would be super. Like just a project where you just got to put one screw in and it's fixed.

[A]

And there's always someone that comes in that says, I can't figure out what's wrong with it. No, I got that. I got that.

[B]

And then you just do the one screw, and you're like, there you go. Oh, God, that was nice. So what'd you do at the spot today? Well, I scratched my back on the corner of a carpeted wall at a

[A]

couple sunnies sucking my toes.

[B]

I had a couple two tree fr. Pickles on the eyes. And then I finished the day with a nice, relaxing home project.

[A]

Oh, you know what else they should have? They should have various things you can pick your teeth with, you know, like toothpicks, obviously, but also a nice, sharp corner of a cardboard, you know, or

[B]

like a business card.

[A]

Business card, for sure.

[B]

That would be a great advertisement for Midwestern guys. You just. Instead of having toothpicks at the bar, you just say, hey, I'll give you a bunch of my business cards for these guys to clean their teeth out with. And then it also has your business on it.

[A]

And one corner of the business card is just like. Has a plastic.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's for, like, a Midwest dentist.

[B]

Yeah. One.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You got toothpicks. You got that. Straws. I don't know if you've ever picked your teeth. You flatten out a straw. Use that.

[A]

You get that nice corner right there, you know, and you got four corners on a straw. A lot of people don't know that, but when you flatten it out, you got two on one side, two on the other.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[A]

Well, all right. You know, I try to flatten it

[B]

two ways is what you're saying.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But each side now has a corner, so not everyone knows.

[B]

Square straw.

[A]

Square straw, Yeah.

[B]

I think that that would be a great feature of it. It's just like, just like the toothpick station. And you just, you pick your. You pick your weapon of choice. Just like the back rubber.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's perfect. And I do feel like, you know, as long as we got Sonny sucking on the toes, we should be able. It should be, honestly, a dock situation, because I feel like you should have a pole in the water, you know, if you can just be pulled.

[B]

Yeah. The whole time you're doing this on a dock.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're fishing. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I mean, yeah, you get your station and like, even if you're like in the back rubbing station, you know, you're like, you got a little pole. You can put your. You maybe do a bobber out there.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh. And even if it's.

[B]

And then there's a bell on your thing and you gotta run over there.

[A]

That's even if it's inside, though, watching a bobber go. Just a bunch of screens of bobber. Different bobbers going down. I'd love that. I wish there was a bobber channel out there where you could just watch bobbers go down all day. Dude, that might be our million dollar idea. Watch your own bobber, you know, but you're watching everyone else's bobber.

[B]

They'll play on words.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

[B]

yeah. Like, if it's relaxing, you just have like, you know how like when, like a kid. Like a kid's fishing set for like really little kids, like my kid has one. It's like a plastic fishing rod.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And then there's the fish and they have magnets on them.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, you. You dump it into a tank and then there's just someone swimming around in there, like attaching fish to your hook. So you're guaranteed like 10 fish, you know?

[A]

Yeah. It's like, it's like when you go to one of those pheasant hunting clubs and they go, just put out 10 birds for you. And although there you're not even guaranteed you can miss all of them.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. I think another thing too is have you ever been in a sauna that also has like the, like the, like the vapor in it that like clears your sinuses out? Do you know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But instead of doing the Clear your sinuses out. You can go into different steam and sauna rooms that have different scents. So you could do like a campfire smelling room. I'll clear the sinuses up.

[A]

I want a sauna room that's just. It's a grill with burgers on it, but the fire is overheating, so you got to pour your beer on it to simmer it out.

[B]

I mean, you're in a sauna, so you want the heat, but you do want.

[A]

Well, I know, but you also, like, pour the water on the coals to get the steam.

[B]

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But as I say this, we. We would all die of carbon monoxide.

[B]

Well, we'd have it. We'd figure it out.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You get a vent in there, you know, some guy was.

[B]

You have a room where it's just some guy. You're in your robe, and it's really hot in there. And some guys just cutting wood, so you just get to smell lumber. Fresh cut wood. Then you also have a room with fresh cut grass.

[A]

Oh, that's great.

[B]

And then you also have a room that just smells like gasoline. Just all the best smells.

[A]

We've listed.

[B]

We have a sharpie room.

[A]

Yeah. Paint, Freshly painted wall.

[B]

Rubber cement room.

[C]

That a room?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Great.

[B]

I mean, that sounds actually like a very relaxing Midwest spa. I don't know about you, Charlie.

[A]

Yeah. You know what? What's a little intense, though, was what I was actually doing was. I don't even think we told people I decided to try to catch a sunny with my hand.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And that I really needed a sauna after that because I was. So we were playing. Me and these sunfish. We were playing like. Like, I tried to catch one and I couldn't. He wiggled out. But then they all came back. They were like, let me have a go at that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, we're just.

[B]

Charlie did get a. You got. I tried to coach Charlie on what to do. You know, it's like classic chirping from the cheap seats.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Charlie didn't love that.

[A]

Well, I was like, have you done this before, Miles?

[B]

I mean, I've tried, but not like as long as you did.

[A]

Have you ever caught one with your hands?

[B]

The video that you were doing that for, like, 13 minutes.

[A]

I just saw it. In fact, it's still transferring to Tyler. It's been transferring for, like, 12 minutes right now. It's going minute by minute.

[B]

But. Yeah. And you didn't like it when I said, charlie, you don't want to go where the fish Is you want to go where the fish is going to be.

[A]

That was so annoying, because Miles will take every situation in your life and make some kind of philosophical.

[B]

That's a strategy.

[A]

Ever since Miles had a kid, he's become a little Midwest Buddha over here, you know? And also, I hate to say it, he was right. I did change up. I did get closer. The problem was, is these fish are so quick, man. You are playing in their field. They know how quick they can move underwater. Just trying to get the hands closer, closer. I got two between the hands, but they squirmed, man.

[B]

So I didn't want to tell you this because you're already mad at me with the lead. The lead, the fish comment. Yeah, but what if you actually want to do it? In my opinion, you just put your fingertips at the top of the water because you can move faster in air, whereas if you're fully submerged in water, your hand moves too slow and they can feel it. So if you're at the right at the top, they swim up to go nibble on your finger. Then you can move faster and grab them the water. So we could try that later.

[A]

Yeah, that'd be fun. Can we do that tonight? Yeah, I might catch a fish. Catch a fish? Bare hand. You ever caught a fish with your bare hands, Miles?

[B]

No.

[A]

I caught one in this tidal pool. I was doing a show out somewhere with tidal pools, and there was a fish, but he was. Caught the tidal pool. And I was trying to set him free, you know, because it was getting hot, and I knew he was low on oxygen. Yep. So I caught him and I put him in the. In the rest of the tank.

[B]

Just like me saving those birds in my window.

[A]

Well, see, we both have a soul, you know? Who would have thought?

[B]

Well, Charlie, should we order the wild burger and start taking some callers?

[A]

Let's do it, Miles. Let's do it.

[D]

It's jj.

[B]

Okay. Jj.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are you doing? It sounds like it's raining outside.

[D]

No, it's. I. I'm driving for UPS now, and the truck's just real loud. I.

[B]

Hello?

[C]

Can you hear me?

[B]

Yeah, you. You said you're driving for who? UPS the amount of mail people we've gotten on this podcast.

[A]

Yeah, you're the third male professional to call so far. Sounds like you're driving through a tornado.

[D]

I mean, I can pull over real fast.

[A]

No, it's comforting.

[B]

I mean, you can if you want. Are you on speaker?

[D]

No, I got you in my AirPod.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right, well, we'll just deal with it. It's fine.

[A]

Yeah, we'll deal with it. What's on your mind?

[D]

Well, I was calling for some advice. I'm seeking the wisdom of the High Council.

[B]

All right, you're here.

[D]

It's a little sore subject for Charlie,

[B]

but does it have to deal with marriage?

[D]

Yeah, that's exactly what it has to do with.

[A]

Okay. All right. What. What is he again? Is he Jared or jj?

[B]

Jj.

[A]

Jj. All right, jj, let's hear about this Lele Lady. Lady.

[D]

I was just asking if I should propose to my girlfriend.

[A]

I mean, historically speaking, if you got to call a podcast to figure out if you should propose, you got a lot of Charlie in your future, jj. I'll tell you that.

[D]

Right, Right.

[A]

No, I. I tease. I tease. I. We're honored that you would call and. And get our advice on this. Have you asked your father yet?

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay, well, we got it.

[B]

I mean, would you sit down and ask your father if he thinks he should get married?

[A]

I just mean, of all the male figures in JJ's life, I would much

[B]

rather call it a podcast and ask my dad if he thinks I should marry.

[A]

Did you ever. Miles, did you ever ask your dad if she thought.

[C]

No.

[A]

No. Okay.

[B]

Everyone was also, at that point, we had been dating for, like, five years. I feel like everyone was kind of giving me the like, okay, it's time to do it. So I didn't really need to ask anyone about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How old are you?

[D]

25.

[A]

25.

[B]

Charlie, is that appropriate age to get married?

[A]

Well, when does the brain fully develop?

[B]

I mean, I think. I think mine. No, I think mine. Just my. My prefrontal cortex or whatever finally developed, like, last year.

[A]

Did it.

[B]

So he's got some years. That's 32.

[A]

Well, you know, that's okay. You don't need a fully developed brain to get married. We've seen that before, and we've seen it work.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Successfully. So how old is she?

[C]

24.

[A]

24.

[B]

All right. And, I mean, I feel like that's a solid age.

[A]

Yeah. How long you guys been dating?

[D]

Like, two years.

[B]

It's a good amount of time happened

[D]

in that two years.

[A]

Tell us about it.

[D]

So I had my license, got suspended last year for a period of time.

[B]

And. And how did that happen?

[D]

You know, committing crimes.

[C]

What.

[B]

What kind of crimes? Come on.

[D]

Speeding. An egregious amount.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Apparently.

[A]

How fast were you going?

[D]

Well, an alleged 111 in a construction zone.

[B]

Your brain is not fully developed.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Dude could tell you that right now. No, you should not get married. Not get married yet.

[D]

Well, this is A lot of personal growth has happened since then, so, like, okay, it was on my. On one of my motorcycles, and I. I've, since then, you know, sold it smart. And I sold my other stuff, you know, my other motorcycle. I had two of them.

[B]

Okay, well, that's good. That is a step in the right direction, Charlie.

[A]

Well, what happened to the motor? What happened? Do you get an accident?

[B]

No, no, he got his license removed from speeding.

[A]

Oh, you were speeding on your motor. You were on your motorcycle going 110 in a construction zone.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, okay. Got it, got it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That is way more stupid than a car.

[B]

That's. That's up there with one of the dumbest things we've heard on this podcast.

[A]

That might be. Yeah, all right, all right.

[B]

He's like, I already heard all this from my family and my girlfriend. Right, sorry. You're right.

[C]

You've.

[B]

You've already. You've done your time.

[A]

And hey, you know what, Miles? Not only has he done his time, he's also proven to the world and at least ups that he's a responsible driver.

[B]

How did you swing that? How did you convince them to let you drive a truck?

[D]

The union.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Were you doing this before you were doing it before you got the speeding ticket? Yeah, okay.

[D]

I've been here for a few years.

[A]

Okay, got it.

[B]

They're like, all right, well, he's got a governor on his truck already. Is there a way we can bump it down? Maybe not let him go over 40.

[A]

Okay, what is your girlfriend.

[B]

So that laugh was just a pity laugh?

[A]

I. But you. You know what? I like that about him. That shows he's a considerate guy.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

I mean, you give your girlfriend some pity laugh laughs there, jj.

[D]

No. If it's not funny, I let her know.

[A]

Okay, well, he's being nicer to us. I like that. That's a little. That's getting better. It's getting better. Yeah. J.J. what does your girlfriend do for a living?

[D]

She's a nurse.

[A]

Oh, you'll need that, you know, in case you get that speed demon come creep up on you again. It's good to have a nurse, especially with an apocalypse looming, right, Miles? You always want to have a medical professional on standby.

[B]

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, cool. And is she expecting it? Is she waiting for this? Have you guys had the talk?

[D]

Yeah, we've already, like, figured out, you know, like, our goals in life and, like, how we would, you know, move forward with like, everything.

[A]

Okay. Any problems, any infidelities, any wandering eye from you, jj?

[D]

No, no, I'm true blue.

[A]

True blue. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[D]

The. I got. I only got two problems with her.

[A]

Yeah. Great.

[D]

These are. This is. This is what I wanted, you know, get out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Is one the. The ring she wants is just under eight grand.

[A]

Wow. Better than just over, but.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Yikes.

[D]

And like, we had just went out to Utah on a nice vacation, and I was thinking about doing it right there, you know, while we were out, you know, on these, like, real nice hikes. But, you know, I had a voice in my head saying, you know, probably not. And it was the voice in my bank account, because it's rings like eight grand.

[B]

Does she know that it cost eight grand or is she just. I love this ring and doesn't. Doesn't. Did. Never inquired about how much it was?

[D]

No, she knows. We went. We went to go look at them together, and then she was like, I really like this one. And it's like $7,800.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that's a lot of. That's a lot of money. And does she think that you're. You got money like that?

[D]

Yeah, I think.

[B]

And you're a UPS driver in the union. Yeah, it is union. You're right. Do you have $8,000 to spend on this ring?

[D]

I mean, I do, but I don't think it would be, like, a smart financial decision.

[A]

Ah, so now we get in the finances talk, right?

[B]

Have you done finances talk with her?

[D]

Yeah, we, like, she has some student loan debts and, like, we've worked out like, a plan to where, like, she could, like, have it paid off within like a couple of months if, like, you know, don't get like, coffees like every other day.

[B]

There we go. You've been listening to Dave Ramsey. You've been on that day. There he is. You got your safety fun. You got your. You. That's number one, Right.

[A]

You got rid of the motorcycles, right?

[B]

Wait for. Step one is getting rid of all your debt. And you're in that phase, correct?

[D]

The what phase?

[B]

Getting rid of all your debt.

[D]

Yeah, well, I've been debt free since January.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Dave Ramsey knows what he's doing.

[A]

Dave Ramsey is somewhere with. Have a hard on hearing that.

[D]

So you're.

[A]

You're debt free. And how do you feel about taking on her debt if you were to get married?

[D]

It's only like five grand left.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

So, I mean, I could just pay it off right now if I want.

[B]

Well, Give her an ultimatum. It's either the ring or your student loan debt.

[D]

Well, I've given her an ultimatum. Now I'm like, oh God. Either, either I can get the ring or we can get a brand new bed.

[A]

Huh?

[D]

And you know, splurge on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Because you know, you don't want to cheap out on your bed.

[B]

You're talking to the guy who loves an expensive bed.

[A]

Yeah. Miles is awesome.

[D]

I got a zero gravity bed like Miles does.

[B]

It's great, isn't it?

[D]

It's pretty nice.

[A]

Oh, you got one. And why are you trying to get a new one?

[D]

Well, I mean, she's just like when we sleep, I have a queen. I'm trying to upgrade to that king.

[B]

You're trying to get that split king like I got. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[A]

What's the resale value on a zero gravity queen bed?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Well, you just sell the bed. You don't actually sell that. You keep the zero. I suppose you gotta get a wider one, right? Oh yeah. You gotta get a whole setup. I. You could get some money for that. Okay, let's get back, let's refocus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Chuck.

[A]

Yeah, sorry. I was thinking.

[B]

Here's the question. I'm a little nervous that you think that if you don't buy an eight thousand dollar ring that she won't want to get married to you. Or she.

[D]

That's not true. No, she. I don't think she really cares about the ring size or like the expense of it.

[B]

But you said it kept you from proposing because you're worried that you weren't going to get the ring she wanted.

[D]

Well, I mean, I'd like to get the ring she would want, but I mean that price tag is kind of hefty, you know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But you're, you have no problem spending on bed,

[D]

right? I guess.

[B]

Yeah, that's. You put that in perspective. You drop five grand on a bed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not get the eight thousand dollar ring. It's tough.

[A]

It is tough. Are you renting right now?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

It's impossible to buy a house nowadays. They're all like 500 grand.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

All right, well listen, do you think

[B]

you should buy the eight thousand dollar ring? Chuck, first, foremost, should he spend that much? And two, do you think you should?

[A]

Okay, what's the rock on the ring that she wants?

[D]

What do you mean?

[A]

I mean, what is like how big is it? Yeah, is it. And is it a real diamond?

[D]

It's a lab grown diamond.

[A]

Oh God. How many carrots is that gold.

[D]

Dude, I honestly forget. If I had my Zales account on me, I could look it up.

[B]

You went to Zales?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, it was like the

[A]

first place we went to have you shopped around. Do you think you can get a better.

[B]

We talk about Zales in this podcast.

[A]

Yeah, we did. A couple days ago, I got Kelly in the watch from Zales. Zales is a place you go to get a great employee a watch after they leave you after six years, you know?

[D]

Well, where should I go?

[B]

No, I think. I think it's totally fine. It's just I hadn't heard the name Zales in. I don't. A decade. I haven't heard the names.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. And then Charlie brought up the other day, and I thought it was funny because I haven't heard in so long. And then you brought up Zales. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.

[A]

Zales is one of the more common jewelry stores around, is it not?

[B]

And maybe we just don't really. I don't even know. Do we have one in Fargo? I don't know.

[A]

You must have at one point, maybe 10 years ago, you had one.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Okay, so I. I think it's a lab grown dime. Maybe. What did she like about this? About the ring? Was it the rock? Was it the band? What she like about it?

[D]

What'd you say? I lost your first record?

[A]

What did she like about the ring?

[D]

I don't know. Everything, really? I guess. I don't know. It's big.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Did you. Were you listening when she was talking about this ring?

[D]

Kind of.

[B]

You're the one buying it. You got to know the cut, the color, the clarity and the carrot. You know the four Cs of buying a diamond?

[D]

I don't know. I know it's white gold. I know she likes the shape of it.

[A]

Okay, okay. All right. Well.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, let's get some perspective here, Charlie. What matters most right now.

[A]

What matters most is, I mean, look, the ring is probably an important thing because she's going to have to look at it every day. And you don't want to get her a ring she doesn't like because that's a good excuse to take it off.

[B]

But you also can upgrade a diamond to something bigger later.

[A]

Yeah, it's a starter ring. Right.

[B]

Engagement ring is what those are called.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

We could call it a starter ring, a beginning ring.

[B]

Like we could begin to a commitment ring. I promise ring. Yeah. You know, so think about that, too. You know, if. If you guys are in a better financial situation later. You can upgrade the diamond if you want. I don't think if you're. If you're feeling stressed about the $8,000 price tag, I think you don't go for the $8,000 one.

[A]

What's your budget?

[D]

I don't really have. I don't. I don't know.

[B]

Supposed to be 3 years salary is what you're supposed to spend on a ring.

[C]

What?

[A]

No, it's what it's like. You guys don't want a month? That's.

[B]

That's a bit from the office.

[A]

Oh, I gotcha.

[B]

It's supposed to be. It used to be three months salary, but I don't think it's that anymore.

[A]

Not in this economy. Did you ever look at the price of gas and see if she'll go with a cubic zirconium? No one can tell. Can you tell the difference between a CZ and a real diamond?

[B]

I don't know. I don't. I doubt it.

[A]

I think what you should do is see what the price is with the cubic zirconium.

[D]

All right. I'll have to look into that. See if Zale's got it.

[B]

I think get her a ring that you feel comfortable spending on it, you know, and just get the same shape that she was wanting. The band. You can get the same band and if she really is upset with it, just say, hey, honey, you know, later on down the road, one, we can see other people. And if you don't want to see other people, we could just upgrade it later.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And I think that you'll find that she's not that worried about the ring. She mostly.

[D]

I don't think she is.

[B]

The rest of your life with you, right?

[A]

Was this your only problem? Was the ring? What was the other problem? Her debt.

[D]

The other. No, I mean, I don't have. I mean, she's great. I mean, I love her to death and like, she. I know she's got my back no matter what, but the. The other thing is, like, she just be, you know, farting. And these are got to be some of the worst smelling farts I've ever, you know, have hit my nostrils. Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Well, you should have started with this one.

[B]

I mean, I think you don't go through with this. I don't know. That's just a bridge too far. Is that the right thing?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are they. Are they loud?

[D]

No, like, they're like silent killers.

[B]

SBDs. Silent but deadly.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And does she acknowledge him or does she pretend like she's not doing it.

[D]

Oh no. She acknowledges him.

[A]

Wow. Has she trapped you in a Dutch oven before?

[D]

No, but while we were on vacation she let one ripped and I was like, hey man, just keep the covers down. You know, just let it, you know, bake in there, like dissipate. And she lifts the covers up and starts like waft and air towards me.

[A]

I kind of like that.

[B]

And that's the number one way to get it waft in your face is say don't waft it in your face. Right?

[A]

Yeah. You know, you're asking for it at that point. I mean honestly, I kind of like. Are you doing that around her too?

[D]

Yeah, it's kind of like a bit we got.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You guys got a bit. You got a bit.

[B]

I mean you are just experiencing what marriage is like.

[A]

Yeah. It's kind of nice that she's showing it. Showing you all the cards before you commit to the pot, you know? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You think like, oh, my wife's this cute, cute girl and all this stuff and then she lets one rip that singes your eyebrows off. Yeah. And you're like, oh wow. Oh wow. I didn't know something like that can come from such a pretty, pretty woman.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[B]

But it does, you know, it, it certainly does, but.

[A]

And yikes. See, it happens to everyone. I mean it's a very human thing.

[B]

I didn't shave my beard off the other time and just farted and it just fell off

[A]

your face.

[B]

It just sings my face off.

[A]

Oh my gosh. I am going to send her this clip. Can we clip this, Jared?

[B]

No,

[A]

Is, yeah, that one.

[B]

You're definitely. This sounds like you're already over it.

[A]

Yeah, it's, it's okay. Everyone does it or it doesn't mean

[B]

that it's not shocking the first time that it happens.

[D]

You know, the first time it happened I thought like someone around us like crop dusted us or something.

[B]

You're like at home, you're like, I think we have a natural gas leak. Do we need to leave the house? Should I call the fire department? Do we need to get out? And then she embarrassedly has to claim it, you know, because you're like ready to like call the 911, right?

[A]

I mean how bad are we talking though? Like worse than yours

[D]

sometimes like I smell like a, like a, like a trucker. Like a 40 year old trucker.

[A]

Can we go 50? Let's just say 50. 40 is not that old.

[B]

Like a 39 year old trucker.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You mean a young buck. Oh man. Well, I think that's fine. That's fine.

[B]

You'll. You'll be fine.

[A]

Yeah, definitely. You definitely, though, knowing this, you can definitely go. $4,000 ring for sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And if she complains, just go. Well, then you need to stop farting.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

The, the. This is fart tax.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. And yeah, I mean, I think you can, with confidence, go $4,000 on it and definitely cubic zirconium territory, especially if you can't afford it, you know? Yeah, I think you got to figure out what you can afford, get what you can afford, and, and if she's upset, blame it on the farts. That's a divorce, guys. Recommendation.

[B]

I don't know if you felt this when you're married, Charlie, but I. Since the wedding, we have not really thought about our rings and how much they cost. You know what I mean? It's like a very in the moment of the wedding, you care about it, but long term, you just don't think about it anymore. You know what I mean by that?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know how like if you. There are these guys who go to.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Think of it like that maybe you rent that $8,000 one for like the pictures and then, you know, you return it and then you get that cubic zirconium for the rest of the time and then you say, we'll upgrade back to that when I start making some real change here.

[B]

Because, because I know that it, like how big the ring is feels like a big day, big thing when you're like in the process of getting married and wedding day and stuff like that. But at the end of the day, you don't think about it after that.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

And if people are concerned or thinking about it, you don't want to hang out with those people anyway.

[A]

That's exactly it. Yeah. And you say she doesn't really care anyway, so I think we've, we've settled on this. Figure out your budget for a ring, get something within that budget, have it look similar to the style and everything that she wants and shop around. You can't just go to one.

[B]

Just go to Zales.

[A]

Yeah, I mean

[B]

the Up, Jared. Yeah, yeah, Hit up K. And everyone knows that every kiss begins with K.

[A]

Dude, hit up a pawn shop, man. They got some great deals at the pawn shop.

[D]

I think I'm a little bit classier than the pawn shop.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[A]

Hey, classier than. Dude, think about the.

[B]

Your wife farts like a, like a 40 year old trucker.

[A]

50 year old trucker.

[B]

Don't get all fancy on Milwaukee. From Milwaukee. Don't get all fancy on us.

[A]

The. The over. What do you call it when it's not actually that price. The overhead. Not overhead. What is it? These things are priced 40, 50% higher than they actually.

[B]

Yeah. Start haggling, Zales.

[A]

Yeah, you can talk them down a little bit, you know.

[D]

You think?

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

I thought their price tags were like set in stone.

[B]

I don't know. I've never been to Zales. And also nice.

[D]

Where did you go, Miles?

[B]

I bought mine online. Which, which you should. You should go check that out. They're legit. I did some research on it. They're legit. And I also had the ring appraised after I got it for insurance. Yeah, they. They appraised it what I bought it for, so.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The online sales is real.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, shop around. You can get one cheaper and then just, you know, enjoy the gas. Baby, you gotta. You gotta a life together to just what food really brings out the worst ones,

[D]

I guess like bar food.

[A]

Bar food.

[B]

Okay, well, Charlie and I are about to eat a burger with beef, bison, elk and bacon on it.

[A]

So maybe call back in an hour and I'll let you know if this should happen.

[B]

You should let your girlfriend eat this. Or not. Yeah, I think just don't buy the $8,000 one. Go cheaper. And then just know that you're not going to think about the ring really at all after the wedding. So just keep have that in your decision making process. Sounds like you guys are in love and that you should get married so I wouldn't worry about that.

[A]

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you guys in your relationship?

[D]

Well, when I had my suspended license, you have to like work back in the building. So like I would work preload, which is like 3am to 9am, and then I'd have to go back in the evening to work another shift to like get my whole eight hours. And so she would pick me up. Well, she would drop me off in the mornings and pick me up and then drop me off in the afternoons and then pick me up. And that was kind of like real pain in the. In the dick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she had to get up at 2am with you every night and bring you to work?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Where do you live?

[B]

God.

[A]

Columbus, Ohio.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Do they have Ubers in Columbus, Ohio?

[B]

It's a lot of money. Every day.

[D]

Ubers are so expensive. Yeah.

[A]

What about a bike? Hey, listen to where I'm going. Yeah. Dude, could. Could you a b.

[C]

I Could have.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, what I want you to do then is count up the number of days she drove you to work and then average that with the average Uber ride to your work, add up that price and if that price equals $8,000, you better buy her that ring.

[D]

That seems a little too complicated for me.

[B]

That's a mental gymnastics right there.

[A]

All right, let me make it. Let me make.

[B]

It's just in Charlie supports condition. Unconditional love.

[A]

Yeah, a hundred percent. Let me, let me, let me do the quick math for you. How far away do you live from work?

[D]

15 minutes.

[A]

15 minutes. That's like probably 25. Uber ride, don't you think?

[B]

I don't know what the prices are. I don't know if they're surging at 3am let's just say it's a suit. Yeah, it probably is.

[A]

25 bucks. 25 bucks. How many times did she do that?

[B]

Four times a day.

[A]

Four times a day? No, twice.

[D]

Yeah, I guess.

[A]

Oh, she did. Four times a day?

[D]

Yeah, because she would have to drop pick me up.

[C]

So I guess that's two.

[A]

So that's a hundred dollars a day. And how, how long did this last?

[D]

I guess that would be like 500 bucks a week. Yeah, it's like a five day work week.

[A]

Yeah. So how many weeks?

[D]

26.

[A]

I'm not good at math, but I think you're buying her that ring.

[B]

Don't listen to Charlie.

[A]

Buy that ring.

[B]

That is, that is, that is some Charlie Barron's like guilt people pleasing mental gymnastics right there. Of course I've ever seen people please.

[A]

This is his spouse, man. There's only one person you got a people please and that.

[B]

And would you do the same for her if it was flip flopped?

[D]

Yeah, Yeah, I would.

[B]

It's called unconditional love.

[A]

Okay, then let's see those unconditions unravel in that ring. Dude, I think, yeah, he would do it for her. Well, pretend like he didn't or he did. But he just spent that money on a ring. Okay, so we'll see if he would do that for her. I'm on your wife's side. 8,000 bucks for the ring. Shell it out.

[B]

Like if we just stay on these calls long enough, Char Raleigh will just. He'll just flip flop.

[A]

I don't care. New information presents new facts, presents a new stance. New stance.

[B]

Your stance is by the $8,000 ring. Out of point, out of guilt.

[A]

Dude, that would have been such a pain. You want to talk about pain in the dick?

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Imagine waking up at 2am to drive your speed demon fella. And the. The guy, he can bike too. You know how much a bike with lights would cost a helmet at that hour? Because you got to watch out for the other speed demons on the road. I don't know. That's a tough one. Yep. $8,000 ring. JJ, get after it.

[D]

You don't.

[B]

All right, you don't have to do that.

[A]

Yes, you do, jj. Yes, you do. Miles, we can agree disagree on this.

[B]

You were on my side like two minutes ago.

[A]

That was before I heard that he impacted her sleep. She's a nurse, you know.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know you were so pro nurse. Well, no, that was a huge stance of yours.

[A]

I think if someone asked me to wake up at two in the morning to drive them to work on a daily basis and then go pick them up again, I'd want some hardware for that. Miles.

[B]

Conditional love.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, dude, it's all conditional. Anyways, jj, we're excited for you, man. It's gonna be great.

[D]

Thanks, guys. But I know you don't want to go.

[A]

That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to us.

[B]

Best thing we could have heard on this call.

[A]

Yeah, we're there in spirits.

[D]

We're taking some of Miles's advice he's given to people. And we're not really going to have like a wedding. I think we're just going to get a loaf and then just like have like a reception and like have like a couple food trucks or something like that.

[A]

That's perfect.

[B]

Yeah, that sounds like great advice.

[A]

Your advice is always get a food truck at a wedding.

[B]

Everyone says that about me.

[A]

That's good. Then you can spend that money on a house or a ring, right?

[D]

I think a house is more valuable, but certainly is.

[B]

All right, jj, well, we appreciate it, dude. Good luck on your route today and just, you know, just go the speed limit.

[D]

I'll try.

[A]

All right, buddy, we'll see you.

[D]

We'll see you. Thanks.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

What time is money?

[B]

Oh, you're doubling down after the call time is my.

[A]

Think about that.

[B]

You're the cheapest guy I know and you're telling him to get an eight thousand dollar ring when he already feels like he can't afford it.

[A]

I don't care, man. Do you? Do you know why he has a job? Because his girlfriend took him four times a day. She made that track four times a day. I mean, my God. And she's got a job. Full time job, caring for patients, whatever. I'm on her side. Now, Miles, that's how it goes.

[B]

Should we do another caller?

[A]

Oh, yeah, Miles, the state fair is one of those places where everything walks about 12 miles and somehow eats 15 pounds of food, you know?

[B]

Oh, I know.

[A]

But it also means huge crowds, packed parking lots, shuttle buses and thousands of people moving in every direction. When things get crowded, accidents can happen quickly. You start slipping on things you didn't know slided. And whether it's going into traffic or getting there, navigating the busy fairgrounds. If your trip to the fair Miles takes an unexpected turn, will burn and churn. Over to Nicolay Law. That's right, ladies and gents. If you get injured and it's not your fault, call nicolay nicolay law.com 1855 Miles Nicolay. Miles, I was looking online at the reviews of Shady Rays.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, just.

[A]

Oh, they had.

[B]

We probably should have done that before we started doing ad reads.

[A]

I mean, what'd you find out? They, they said everyone loves them, loves these Shady Rays. And I wasn't surprised, Miles, because every piece of Shady Rays I put on my face, I've just been amazed by what they do to block the sun, you know?

[B]

How many do they have some five star reviews on there?

[A]

Oh, so many. Thousands of five star. 2,000, 3,000, 5,000, what was it, 300,000, miles? 300,000. Five star reviews on the Shady Rays. I'll say. You tell you what, these Shady rays, they block the sun, but they don't block the fun, Miles. No. Yeah.

[B]

These ones I'm wearing right now are my daily drivers.

[A]

Those are nice too. Yeah, those look like Top Gun chic, you know?

[B]

Yeah, I just need a. See a crotch rocket in a, you know, a fighter jet. Yeah, that's all I need.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm basically Top Gun.

[A]

We'll work on that.

[B]

A couple things that I'm, I'm Tom Cruise.

[A]

Yeah, that's it. Maybe a leather jacket.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, guys, if you want to be just like me, who's just like Tom Cruise, minus a couple of things, you got to go to shadyrays.com you get 50% off two or more polarized glasses. Just like Charlie and I got on. If you use code bellied up, so use code bellied up at Shady Rays and you'll be looking cool.

[A]

Justin, how you doing?

[C]

Good.

[D]

How are you?

[A]

Real good.

[C]

Just hopping in the truck here.

[A]

We're, we're doing some work here, some landscaping.

[C]

I'm trying to get away. Yep, exactly. It's a, it's a hot day where I'm calling from New Jersey.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Swampy.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

The.

[C]

We're in North Jersey, so we're a little bit away from the swamps. We're in the. If you ever watch the Sopranos, we're right near the Meadowlands, like those kind of swamps.

[A]

Oh, nice

[C]

bodies. We are near the bottom. Yes. I passed the bottom today, actually.

[A]

Really? Are you by the. The cafe with the pig?

[C]

Yep, yep. We're all. All in that area.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Dude, that's so cool. Can we come visit?

[C]

It's good stuff. Tony Soprano is my uncle.

[A]

No kidding.

[C]

Oh, no, he's not. No, I am kidding. But it would be cool. It would be cool.

[A]

No, but do you know any mafia people out there? Do you cut any?

[C]

I do. I go out to dinner. I go out to dinner with one sometimes.

[A]

What's his name?

[C]

That I can't say.

[A]

That's cool, dude. Where do you guys go? Yes. Do you go there?

[C]

Confident, confidential places? No, we. You know, just all. All local spots. He's a real estate guy and. Used to be in the mob. Used to. Used to fool around, but now he's teaching me a little bit about real estate. So it's. It's all good stuff. Yeah.

[A]

Look at you, dude. Look at you. I mean, if you think about the real.

[B]

How do you just dabble in the mob?

[C]

Well, listen, he had. He had a little bit of a different past than where he's at today. He was. He was friends with, like, Bloomberg in New York. Like, he was like a. An interesting guy. And then through landscaping, I met him because he owns like 30 properties in our area. And that's how. Kind of how I think he got his money in order to get these places. And. And so then he. Then we started, you know, started talking. I started asking him a million questions about real estate, and then, you know, just kind of went from there.

[A]

He took a liking to you?

[C]

I guess so. And I think he's trying to. You know, he makes sure to talk in an extra Italian accent when he's around me. So I just try. And I actually. All my. All my friends and employees make fun of me because I think I listen to you guys too much. And when I talk to clients and stuff, I say, hey, how are you?

[B]

And.

[C]

And I think that, you know, it's rubbing off on me a little bit. So I try to. I try to not speak in the Italian accent that he does to try and make it known that that's not the route that I'm going.

[B]

Have you ever told the client to Watch out for deer.

[C]

I have not. You know what's funny? So I'm a huge outdoorsman, deer hunter, you know, turkey hunter, duck hunter, fisherman. And in our area, do you. If you see, like, I mean, we're in the city, so, like, I have to drive like a half hour to really see deer. Yeah. So we're not too concerned about that around here. We more have to watch out for dogs and kids and, you know, balls and landscapers running across the road, such as myself.

[A]

Yeah, watch out for balls.

[C]

Yep. Fun stuff. All right.

[B]

Well, that was.

[C]

But yeah, so. Yeah, I don't know if you got my voicemail, but yeah, so what I. What I wanted to talk about is. So I. I have a. I have a landscaping company here. We have four guys. And then myself, for the. For the sake of today, we'll call them. So the project crew, we have, you know, we'll say Miles and Jared. And on the. On the. On the long crew, we have Tyler and Ryan, and Tyler and Ryan started a little bit of a. Well, sorry. Actually, Miles and Jared saw a little bit of a. Of a prank war between the two.

[B]

That sounds like the classic Miles and Jared pranks.

[C]

Yup, exactly. So it started off. And to offend anybody, it started off with a picture. You know, we. We said. Or they said, you know, oh, we just. We just got a new marketing girl as a part of the company. You know, you guys. Can you guys just send me a selfie of you guys in front of the truck? So they said. So they were like, okay, you know, we'll send the picture. They. So they send a selfie of them to next to the truck and then they change it all to, you know, rainbow flags and things of that nature and little. Little graphics on their forehead.

[B]

That doesn't sound like us, Jared.

[C]

No, no, no, not you guys. No, that's. That's too, too over the line. But so they did that. And then to get the. To get them back, they printed out. So we have like, you know, a landscape garage to get the other guys back. They printed out all embarrassing pictures of them, very embarrassing and explicit pictures of them and posted them all over the garage so that when we walked in the one morning, there was stuff that could not be revealed to the public then when the garage was open.

[D]

So.

[B]

So where are they getting the pictures? Pictures?

[C]

Well, chat. CBT has. Has great, great works. Penis graphics on. On ChatGPT could be pretty good. If you don't say that it's a

[B]

penis, what do you say? Not that I would not that I would do any pranks like that at my own office?

[C]

No, of course not.

[B]

Not if, like, I, you know, I would never want to go check out the wieners of chat GPT. I just am curious what a guy's got a prompt AI to get it to happen.

[C]

Well, you know, you say, you know, this is my arm, so you could just, you call it an arm, which, you know, I must have a really, really small arm. But, you know, I say that, you know, this is, this is my arm. Can you put my arm on his forehead? And then his forehead has my quote unquote arm sticking out of it. So that's, that's all, you know, different ways to work around it. And it's not the most, the most detailed, but it does get the job done. I'm not sure if it would be bellied up, approved to, to put on the graphic here for the video, but it's, it's pretty funny stuff. So we had that. And then the next prank that is currently happening tomorrow and the other two guys don't know about it is a. So that there's like, we have our sprayers in this one box and when they open the box tomorrow, there's going to be a spray can full of like, powder basically that's just gonna pop open and spray them in the face and cover them with pink basically powder and just absolutely drought drench them in it. And. Yeah, so that'll be something. But the problem here is that they are taking too much time. So if we have a set list of things to get done, there's an hour at least in every day. They were at CVS the other day looking for things during work. Like, I can't have this. I love it, don't get me wrong. But we got to get stuff done. So I need some advice on how do I sort of tailor this to keep it fun, to keep it in that way, but sort of make it so that it's still, you know, work is still the main sort of priority.

[B]

Yeah. Do you have trouble finding help? Like, are these guys lifers and. Or like, do you have a revolving door of employees?

[C]

So not really. So. And, and that is tough. And, and I know that, you know, you know, we're not, we're not in a hole digging concrete. I'm not in a hole every day. Well, I do have a girlfriend, but I'm not in a concrete hole every day. And so, you know, we, so I'm not doing stuff like that. So we've pretty. Sorry. We have pretty consistent Guys, they're. They're. They're all, you know, W2s, the four guys, other than myself, and they're. So they're here every day. And then, like, today we have two extra guys that are. That are here. So it is a normal, normal crew.

[B]

Yeah. So where I was gonna go with that is, like, we'd. We'd have, like, a company card when I was working for my dad, and, like, you know, sometimes be like, two, three, four times a week, we take the company card to the gas station and get donuts for everybody.

[C]

Oh, believe me, they do that more than enough. When I check my credit card bill every week, I'm like, oh, so I didn't know.

[B]

And talking to my dad later, the reason why he didn't really stop it, he's like, I want you guys to work here. And so if I got to spend an extra, like, at the time, like, $8 on donuts a day to keep you guys happy, to keep you wanting to work here, ladies, like, that's fine. It's like a give and take of, like, keeping them happy, but also, like, getting the work done right. And that's kind of the. The position you're in.

[C]

Yeah. And that's very fair. And, you know, I. I do compensated pretty well today. Everybody got pizza and drinks and things like that. And then, you know, like, yeah, they could always grab, if you need water stuff at that 7 11, Gatorade, whatever, take the card and go do that. So, yeah, they. You know, they. They do get that. So. But, you know, you're 100, right? I mean. Yeah, keeping them happy is the number one thing, especially because they're consistent and, you know, they all are really good guys that I can trust, which is the biggest thing, because I've had people in the past that you can't really trust, and, you know, there's nothing worse than that. Yeah. So, you know, I. I do. I do get it from that. That perspective. So I just want to see, like, you know, like, some sort of competition or something to kind of keep them going. Like, who knows? Like, maybe then whoever gets a better job done with, I don't know, then. Then do they get the donuts at the end of the week or they get more donuts or.

[B]

Yeah, the old pizza party at the end of the week. I think if you are worried that you're not getting enough work done now and they're getting too focused on it, I don't think you put a kibosh to it. I think what you do is you get really savvy and escalated to the point where someone goes too far, and then you get to just shut the whole thing down.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Do you know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're really. You're steering. You're. You're steering. Sailing right into the waves there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you can't. Can't go sideways. You'll go topsy turvy.

[B]

Let it get too out of hand to where then even they understand that you had to shut it down. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yep. Yeah.

[A]

Like, you know, firecracker in the gas tank. We'll do it.

[B]

Yeah. Or just kaboom.

[C]

Yeah. Just let it. Let it go over and explode. I mean, who knows? Maybe if. If one of these guys gets freaking powder in their eye tomorrow and has to go to the hospital, then that'll be it.

[B]

Yeah. Then you're like, boom. And it ran, of course. Boom. Done. It ran its course. And then they. Then they just get to talk about the memories of the prank war.

[C]

The memories of the prank war. The memories of the prank war might carry us even further. That might be even better. Yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

And just.

[C]

Just the thought of it. Yeah.

[B]

If someone could get physically hurt pretty bad, that would be good for you. If. Well, if, you know, like. If, like, maybe someone's, like, marriage, you know, gets questioned because you, like, brought a stripper to the job site or something, that.

[C]

Okay, good for you.

[A]

Pop by the bing.

[B]

You know.

[C]

By the bing. Right. Exactly.

[B]

If someone could do something illegal, maybe spend a couple nights in jail, that'd be good for you.

[C]

Well, actually, yeah. We just had a guy walk up to us before. He said, he just got out of jail. Can I get a job? And I said, oh, no. But, yeah, I mean, we could. Maybe we could call him back and say, give it. Use it as an example. And. And, you know, I'm saying one of

[B]

your four guys gotta go to jail so you have an excuse to shut this down.

[C]

All right. Okay.

[A]

Another thing you can do is Tom Foolery Friday and just sanction the planning all to Friday.

[B]

We used to do where we'd have Jersey Friday. So you'd wear, like, a sports jersey to the job site and work in a sports jers all day. We used to also have Hawaiian shirt Friday where everyone.

[C]

Hawaiian shirt Friday is a great one, because we normally do for. For Fourth of July. We. We dress up the trucks. We put flags on every truck. Everybody's dressed. I got. Everybody's got American flag pants, American flag shirts, American flag hats. Like, we go ballistic with that. But I kind of like the theme Fridays. And then every Friday we could create a new theme. Now I could see this getting a little expensive on the company card when you add pizza donuts and Gatorade and zins and cigarettes to, you know, but it might be worth it. And listen, that could be a good marketing tactic. People see these guys doing work in Hawaiian shirts. You don't see that often, you know. No, no, exactly.

[B]

And I think what you do is where you can kind of get pranks is like you kind of. You show up with like, you know, you guys think the wieners are funny. Do a Hawaiian shirt with like a wiener theme. You show up in that one day, you know, so then they still scratch the itch of being a goofball, but they're not take. They're. They're ordering that on Amazon the night, you know, at night. And then they're showing up to work in it. And that's a show to work on

[C]

it the next day.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Funny.

[C]

Haha. Yup. Like, you know, like I, you. I don't know if you're familiar like with the camo that it's got like, like ducks or deer in it, but it's still like blank. It looks like camo from afar, but then you really look close. It's got that. So, you know, we could do that. But you know, little dicks, little dicks.

[B]

Could also do boobs.

[C]

Could also do boobs. Could also do boobs on your chest with little dicks around it.

[A]

Now you're getting creative. I'm seeing a problem at this company. I think it's you. I think you did this to yourself and I don't think you can get new guys. I think you're always going to be at the company. So you just got to embrace your, your inner goofball and realize you're just not going to make as much money. And that's okay.

[C]

But I'm still making something and I still have guys. So that's the number one thing.

[B]

Because without guys, your, your nest egg isn't even in this landscape business. It's your connection to that mob guy who used to work for Bloomberg. Exactly. Real estate.

[C]

Exactly. Because I was supposed. Well, yeah, because I was supposed to look at a house today. Now we're going tomorrow. But you know. Exactly. Right. He's getting, he's teaching me no money now and all this crazy stuff. So, you know, I think that, I think that's right. I think a couple nights, you know,

[B]

is this guy you've been talking to named Grant Cardone.

[C]

Very similar to Grant Cardone, but no, it is not. No, no.

[A]

I wonder, I wonder what he would think about your situation if you, if you asked him for advice and not. Not us.

[C]

Grant Cardone. Yeah, I think he just. I. I just have to 10x everything. I just have to 10x the pranks.

[B]

10x the pranks.

[D]

So.

[C]

So maybe that's what we need to do. Maybe we need to be all pranks,

[B]

and then 10x the. The amount of work your guys are doing as well. So 10x the pranks, 10x the work, and next thing you know, you're rich.

[C]

Next thing I know, I'm rich, never sleep, and I have unlimited Hawaiian shirts in my drawer. Done.

[A]

I got the prank that might end all pranks. And it's. Okay, so weapons close there. There are these, these beer bottles that you can get. Like prank beer bottles or.

[C]

Oh, the sugar glass.

[A]

Yeah. Movie film beer bottles. So what you're going to want to do is you're going to want to, you know, have some drinks with the fellas after his shift, and then you're going to want to have a fight with one of the guys. So you're Jared and Miles, right? That's your team. So you get into your. Miles, you get into a fight with Jared, and Jared's in on it. Okay. And you're saying, like, make it big. Make it a big thing. Like he, he cheated on, you know, his wife with your wife or something. Really get acting skills there. Grab one of the bottles and just smash it over his head and have him pass out. Now, what's going to happen is it's a social experiment. You're going to see how these two employees will react to that. More likely than not, one of them is going to go so over the top with their reaction that it's going to hurt somebody to their core. They're going to be like, I knew you were always a piece of shit. And that's going to be a real reaction. And at this point, you already know that this is going to happen. You're prepared for it, but it's enough of a thing where you can be like, you know what? That was a prank. Let's just stop it all right there.

[C]

Okay. A little bit, too.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

I think, I think that's all.

[A]

I like that idea. He hated that idea.

[C]

Yeah, I, you know, I, I'm not. Not too sure about that one, Charlie.

[A]

I, I don't know, Charlie, what's the reaction?

[C]

My. My issue. Issue is that I think that they would just laugh at it. I think if I. I think if I got hit on the head and went on the ground, it would take about 20 minutes of. Or whoever of of them not moving for there to be a reaction. Honestly, tell you the truth, the last time we had a guy bleeding, he cut himself with a sawzall and he was bleeding for about 20 minutes sitting by the truck and nobody noticed how bad it was. And then we. And everybody just kind of like, you know, oh, you know, you're a, you're this, you're that. And we turn the corner back and he has a whole roll of paper towels on the ground full of blood and needed to go to the hospital and get stitches. So.

[A]

No, that.

[C]

Yeah. So I don't know if they'd react that. That's my. That's my only fear with that. But, you know, I could say, you know, oh, you guys are heartless. And, you know, I don't know. I don't know if that'll really mean much, I guess. But I was gonna say, you know, you're heartless, so you can't do pranks anymore because if you go too far, then. Then somebody will end up dead from a broken bottle of, you know, here. Something along those lines. I could see it. You know, dude, 10x I was just gonna say. Or. Or we just 10 exit.

[D]

Boom.

[C]

You know, I. I'm watching one of them using a pickaxe right now. You know, I mean, you know, accidents happen and one guy may just have to get sacrificed for them to learn the lesson. And we may need to bring on maybe a new guy.

[B]

The real mob mentality.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

That's gonna do prank wars if they're dead.

[C]

That's right. Well, we were also talking, you know, maybe like, maybe we could have like little, you know, here's my fears that were in, you know, very blue new anti gun New Jersey. But I was going to say, you know, maybe like little airsoft pistols that, like when one crew is driving by, the next, you know, maybe a. Yeah, Blake or something, you know.

[B]

Yeah, do some drive bys. That sounds like a good idea.

[C]

Exactly. You know, something. Something along those lines, you know, right in somebody's backyard. I'm sure they'll love it.

[A]

No way that'll backfire.

[B]

Well, airsoft guns don't traditionally backfire, so they're probably good.

[C]

That is true.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. I was talking a metaphor, but that's fine. That's fine.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[A]

Yeah, the car that he's driving in could backfire, though.

[C]

So so maybe I am the problem. That. That might be. It might be me.

[A]

Oh, you're definitely the problem. But that's okay. That's okay.

[C]

Listen, I like, I like Hawaiian Fridays. I like the. I like the theme. So maybe we can change it, you know, into, into something positive. That could be a marketing tactic. Boom.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

As well, you know, so there, there's where, you know, we're still building the business while having, you know, fun along those lines. I think I lay up that idea. So if you got any designs. I don't know if. I don't know if you previously had a design of, of a, you know, penis filled Hawaiian shirt, but, you know, we're open to suggestions.

[B]

Anybody don't have any of those on hand.

[C]

I'm surprised.

[B]

I could, I could rifle through my, my, my files.

[C]

Look through your files. Yeah, look through, look through. I don't know if it got lost to the change of the offices or what, but, you know, so I want

[B]

to let you guys know that you're kind of living out my personal nightmare. I think one of the big fears in my life is that I get roped up into a prank war.

[A]

Really? That's a personal.

[B]

To me. I don't view a prank war as fun.

[A]

Really?

[C]

I thought you were gonna say living in New Jersey. But.

[B]

I just think a prank war just sounds like a lot of work, a lot of distraction, and it just wouldn't be fun to just constantly be living on the edge of, hey, is something about to derail my whole day? Like every time I touch a doorknob, is there going to be poop on this? On the back side of it? You know, when I go to my truck, is there gonna. And I grab it, is there gonna be ky on that side of the

[C]

handle on edge 24 7. Not a fun way to live.

[B]

Correct. And that's like one of my personal nightmares, I think.

[A]

Well, this sounds like it's based off of a past trauma. Have you been pranked before in your life?

[B]

I mean, I've probably been pranked, but no, I don't.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So this is just. Just what?

[C]

You don't.

[B]

I just have seen other people getting prank wars and it stresses me out.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, this stresses me out here because, you know, you gotta. He's a. He's looking at the bottom line all day. And these guys are looking at dicks on the Internet and you know, that's

[C]

not gonna cut along.

[B]

Making dicks. Custom.

[C]

Yes. Creating. Yes, yes. AI and dicks. Exactly.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

You know, and not, not the Sporting goods. Nope.

[A]

The amount.

[B]

Is it actually affecting your bottom line or is this one of those scenarios that you, you want to almost nip it in the butt before it starts affecting the bottom line?

[C]

A little bit of both. You know, I would say there's about, you know, there's, there's, let's say four hours a week, I think wasted that didn't need to be between the CVS trip, between the AI that I see happening, you know, but, or like, you know, time sitting on their phones, things like that, you know, but four hours a week for us is, you know, we're in the spring season here still. So like, this is our like busy, busy, busy season. So like July and August slows way down and then in the fall it kind of ramps back up and then winter's nothing. So besides snow. Not, not much for you guys, but you know, for, for right now, it's the, it's the busy time.

[A]

Move all the pranks to the winter.

[C]

Yeah, I, I think it is. I think that's a great idea.

[A]

Winter pranks.

[C]

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And you, and you know, yeah, you can have more fun in the, in the winter with pranks. And it's a, it's a tough time of year.

[B]

You need to start branding the prank wars. So if July and August are slow, do dog days of summer prank war.

[A]

That's it. Consolidate your prank wars into a one week period in the slow times.

[C]

You know, I think that could be a great, great, great idea. Out of all these ideas, this is my favorite. I think, I think we have a dedicated prank warrior the week of July, let's say 10th to the 17th or something. And you know, and then we have another one, let's say, I don't know, we could do it for like a two day stint in the fall where it's like open, you know, it's like hunting seasons. It's open season for this week and then it's closed and then it's back open, and then it's closed and then it's back open. I think, I think that's a great. And then they could just go ballistic. And then the rest of the time it just kind of gives them a conversation piece. They could just be sort of planning and then it's just nothing but bananas for that. For that time.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's, I think, I

[C]

think that would be a great idea. And I mean, and, and this is for, you know, Jared, Tyler and Ryan, like, if, if you ever, you know, if Miles is pissing you off. We know what to do. Even Miles. You just gave away your whole secret.

[A]

He did.

[C]

Yeah, I'm writing down right now.

[B]

Or maybe I'm playing chess. And I say that because I also have a fetish for prank wars.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

All right.

[B]

And I want you guys to start one. And therefore I said I hate it.

[A]

Miles would.

[C]

Because. Because, you know, and that. And it. Well, it sounds like you're dying for that AI of the penis too, from what you were asking. So maybe that's.

[D]

Maybe.

[C]

Maybe you are dying for a prank.

[B]

Or.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

You get bricked up when you touch a boot. Like a poopy door handle.

[B]

Oh, fuck. Wait, am I being pranked? Let's go.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, fuck. I was not expecting this. I was not expecting this.

[C]

Just don't wear gray sweatpants on prank day. That's all. Just make sure, you know, good gene day.

[A]

Yeah, some strong genes.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe I've just been craving a good prank and I just haven't. I've got all this pent up, pranked energy. You don't know. That's the thing.

[C]

I think.

[A]

I think, honestly, Miles just needs to prank one out.

[C]

I think so. I mean, yeah, there's. There's been weirder stuff.

[D]

That's pretty.

[B]

I'm sure, dude. And that's what you label those weeks as is. You call it pranking one out. You guys are just gonna prank one out that week.

[A]

That's good. That's good.

[C]

I like it. So we have our whiteboard that has our schedule at our. At our shop there. And I think, you know, I'm gonna mark off once we get into July, I'll mark off the week and I'll say, this is prank week and it's nothing but preparation up until then.

[B]

Or what you do, you don't tell them about prank week. You know, you. Maybe. Here's what you gotta do. You. If it gets. If it continues to be out of hand, you shut it down. Like John Taffer at a shitty bar.

[A]

Shut it down.

[C]

Shut it down.

[B]

And then they're all kind of. Maybe Morales down low, they're like, boss is a dick. I just want to make dicks on chat GPT. You won't let me. You know, and then come July 10th, you pull a prank on all four of them. That's huge. They come to the. The shop that day, they walk in, they get pranked, and you go, welcome to Prank1out. This week, all we're doing is pranks. And they're like, oh, what? I thought he was this shitty Boss, but he's super chill and cool. And then they don't. And then they don't know when the prank week is happening. And so that you are. It's like your ultimate prank. They don't know when they're gonna get a week of pranks, so they're living on the edge the whole time.

[C]

I love it. So then what? So then I need your help then. So what's the original prank that I'm gonna hit them with to say welcome to prank week. Welcome to what? To prank it out week.

[B]

What do you think, Charlie? I've never been in a prank war, so. So do we kind of.

[C]

Well, that's not confirmed, but so do we. Do. Do I just put like. I don't know, should I put buckets if I'm sitting in the back of the shop, right on a lawn chair and I set up buckets of water on top so that when they pull the garage door soaking wet. See? But then that's a problem because then they're not going to work that whole day because they'll be soaking wet down

[B]

to their own prank week. It doesn't matter. You got a plan that does not work in anything here.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Here's a good. Here's a good prank. This happened to me once when I was working my first job. My boss got a. Got a squirrel noisemaker and he put it in my car. He put it in the belt above my driver's seat. And for weeks I was hearing this little squirrel sound. I was like, the fuck? I ignored it. Like the first few times I even called my dad. I said, dad, I think I got a squirrel living in my car. For weeks I was doing this. It was this whole mental battle in my head. Finally one day I walked into work and I was like, you guys, I think I got a squirrel in my car. I was late because I was pulling apart my car trying to find the squirrel, and I was looking inside, under the hood, everything. And these guys just died laughing for like 10 minutes. And I think some. Whatever you have to do, make it a weeks long thing where they kind. Where it sort of just trickles to the top. Because the psychological trauma of that still gets me to this day. I.

[B]

That one's definitely more of a slow burn prank, though.

[A]

Yeah, it's a slow burn.

[B]

And this we're looking for.

[C]

That is true, Miles. I am looking for explosive, but. But like, that could be my little on the back burner kind of, you know, like. So I start the prank war off with the Boom. So we need more of, like, we need one that's a boom.

[B]

I have one actually, by the way.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

All right.

[B]

I think what you need to do. So I don't know what you have in your shop. I mean, get some new chairs now in the. Like, some. Some rolling office chairs in the. In the break room now. And then when it comes to be prank week, I want you to install a airbag underneath each seat.

[A]

Oh, wow, dude.

[C]

Great.

[B]

That's the explosion you're looking for.

[C]

It really is nice. That's an instant boom. And I say, yeah. Team meeting. Team meeting. Everybody sit down.

[A]

No, no, no. And then first you make them like, they need a reason to. Everyone needs to do it at the same time. So start it off by pledge of Allegiance.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, before we sit down, we're going to do this new thing called the Pledge of Allegiance standing.

[C]

Yeah. Yep. Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Or you can do everyone sit down. I mean that.

[C]

No, no. I like the Pledge of Allegiance. Listen, America, I love it because they're

[B]

going to be so distracted about the Pledge of Allegiance.

[C]

Why the hell are we saying the Pledge of Allegiance?

[B]

Like, and then, I guess.

[C]

All right, I guess we'll sit down. I don't know what this meeting is about. And then.

[D]

Boom.

[B]

Head goes through the Sheetrock.

[C]

Everybody's going right through the roof. We got legs dangling.

[B]

He needs some milk.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Just done.

[B]

Yeah. And then I do know the sound. Welcome to Prank. I'm gonna prank it out week. Yeah. And then they'd be like, oh, maybe that squirrel noise in all of our trucks was a prank too. Oh, my God.

[C]

After all.

[B]

And then. Then, you know, then hit one over

[A]

the head with a beer bottle.

[C]

Boom.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Loving this beer bottle idea.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

All right. He goes, incorporate this, and I'll send it to you.

[B]

Charlie breaks his neck on the ceiling, falls down. Then you go over his head. You go, welcome to break it out week.

[A]

Or, you know, a funner prank, too, is you get the. You get the beer bottles, you show the guys it and say how fun it is, and then you give one of them a real beer bottle.

[B]

That's a great prank.

[C]

Knock them out right there.

[A]

Prank on a prank. So you don't need chatgpt to put dicks on things. You can just. Just, you know.

[B]

Yeah. And then a way to promote your business. You guys do videos like Jackass, and you go like, this is prank one out week here at whatever landscaping business. And this one's called the. The fake real beer bottle. And then you guys do the bit online and then you can market your business that way.

[C]

I think that'd be awesome.

[B]

And then if you're wearing the Hawaiian shirt that has dicks on it, doubly, that's.

[C]

I mean, listen, if we, if we posted a video where somebody with the metaglasses on takes a beer bottle and smashes it over a guy putting sod down, putting mulch down, doing whatever pavers with. With a Hawaiian shirt with boobs and dicks on it and smashes it over their head and he gets fake knocked out. There's no way that that's not viral. That might put you guys. That might put you guys out of business. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, Like, I'd say I'd like to invest in your company, but I don't think I can compete with Grant Cardone.

[C]

No, no, Grant Cardone's already got it covered. Grant Cardone Jr. The guy that I go, you know, talk to, he's. He's the guy I actually told him about about you guys. He was like, he's a little bit older, and he's like, oh, you know, I, I. My son listens to podcasts and stuff like that, and I'm like, oh, you know, a great. My great podcast. You know, the. The Bellied up podcast that. You bet your podcast. Or, you know, I, you know, Crips cast, too. Sorry. And you know that. So something along those lines. He was like, all right, I'll give it a listen. I know for a fact he never did, but he might. He might. He might tune in. He might tune in. We'll see.

[B]

And if he did, too, he listened to us on 10x speed.

[C]

Yes. Oh, of course, of course. And he. He jotted it all down. He wrote it down as he was doing it. That's exactly right.

[A]

Got the gist of it.

[B]

Well, man, I think. I think we did a pretty good job actually, so.

[C]

I think so, too. I'm. I'm ready. I'm ready. I just hope that, you know, I know that none of the guys, except for, you know, the one listens, and I'll just make sure that he doesn't listen, and I'll say, you know, I'll say that I could reveal it later at a later date and, you know, we'll. We'll go from there.

[B]

Or you could prank the other three guys with that one guy that listens

[C]

too, you know, and that could be. That could be the best of all. He could be. Yep. That could be like, my, you know, like, everybody needs, like, in in, you know, like, if you ever did, like, you know, those water gun wars or something like that, everybody needs a little bit of an alliance.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, in alliance with one person in there, so that could be my alliance. Okay.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I like that.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I greatly appreciate it. You bet.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, watch. Watch out for balls out there.

[C]

I'm gonna watch out for balls. Gonna watch out for landscapers. Gonna watch out for kids and dogs. Yep. And I wish I was looking out for deer, but not really.

[A]

My.

[C]

My closest spot that I can deer hunt is about 45 minutes to an hour away, so not. Not great around here. But we do have them. We do have occasional city deer. We had, you know, one. One a little bit west of us, but, like, you know, 30 minute drive.

[B]

But still in the video. Charlie video idea, you know what it is?

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

Small town deer versus city deer.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And I dress up in the deer costume.

[A]

Yes. Dude, I'll do anything to get you back in a deer costume.

[B]

I'm. That idea might get me back in it.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Because there's a difference, you know, it's. City deer aren't scared of.

[A]

No, they're not. We can do whatever we want, man.

[B]

Small town deer are paranoid that someone's gonna shoot them. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, exactly. Small town.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I hope that the deer hunters in the area just don't shoot like you did this year, Miles, and then you'll be safe, you know, in case nobody.

[B]

My scope was.

[A]

Oh, my scope.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yep. Well, it's okay. I missed the same turkey two times two weeks ago, so it's okay.

[A]

Did you really?

[B]

Oh, God. There's nothing that makes you feel good about missing it.

[A]

Then someone else bringing it.

[C]

Someone else missing twice.

[A]

It's almost opening the door and people like, thank God you said that, because I didn't. I told all those guys I didn't see a turkey I shot twice. Were you bow hunting or gun hunting?

[C]

No, I. I bow. Hunted one this year. I got. I'm a pretty big turkey hunter. I was a part of. Of nine being shot this year. I shot six myself and I. I shot. I shot one with the bow. That was my first.

[A]

Do you guys have a dnr?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, no, we. We have. You know, we have a decent population actually in the southern section of the state and then. But I travel a lot.

[B]

I, uh.

[C]

So I hunted New York this year. I hunted in New Hampshire. Wow. So Jersey was only one.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I. I do a lot of business.

[A]

Is Going well. Holy.

[C]

Not a lot of sleeping that I could tell you. Not a lot of sleeping at all. But energy drinks are my best friend. And, you know, we're. We're. We're getting it done. But. But no, it was with the shotgun. It was a perfectly clear shot in a wide open field, and I rushed it and I missed him. And then I was able to turn, like, kind of around this bend and get into the woods and called them right back. And I was just a little bit too nervous and, you know, sailed it right over his head.

[B]

That'll happen. So, you know, I know from personal experience, that'll happen.

[A]

Miles has been known to shoot early and mess.

[B]

I mean, at least you are actually seeing turkeys. Charlie just goes. Sits in his blind and takes a nap and doesn't see all day.

[A]

I kicked up two hands on a. Just a random walk. I was like, well,

[C]

that's. That's good. Well, I thought you had a ton in your backyard. I thought that's what you're saying. Or is that just standard birds?

[A]

No, no, no. At my ca. I got a fair amount of turkeys that I see all year round, and then not a damn one. There was probably a bunch of them sitting on my turkey stand while Miles was testing out Teemu toys.

[B]

Oh, don't even. You were having a good time.

[A]

I mean, with that chainsaw. I was, but I could just feel the turkeys just sitting out there by my decoys. And anyway, I had to go see this.

[B]

I'm always the problem.

[C]

Well, I just want the teemo back.

[D]

Who?

[C]

Backhoe. That's. That's what. That's what I want to order next. I see the ad every day. Did you guys test that one out?

[A]

We have not.

[B]

I. I think if ordered a Teemu backhoe, my wife would murder me. She already. We've ordered some more tools for more videos and she already was like, what in the hell are we doing, Miles?

[C]

But they're teemu. They're cheap, so it doesn't count. It's a write off.

[B]

But I also, like, I can't just throw like lithium batteries in the garbage, can I?

[A]

No.

[C]

Oh, you could burn them like Ryan. That's fine. Just throw them in the back, you know.

[B]

True.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, dude.

[C]

Listen, guys, I greatly appreciate it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Big fan of the show. You know, like, you guys bellied up specifically when. Whenever me and my brother going. We. We're waterfowl hunters too. Whenever we're going goose hunting for some reason. We listened to Bellied up podcast one day Had a lights out day. And every time we go, you know, we even listen to old episodes and stuff and. And just, you know, it's like a. It's definitely a weekly thing for us. And, you know, obviously when you guys post, it's a. It's a weekly thing. I'm a patron. I'm a. Just a huge fan overall, so I appreciate you guys taking the time.

[B]

Time. Well, thank you for listening and giving us your time and appreciate you being a patron this week. Charlie's on the Patreon, isn't he?

[C]

Okay, yeah. All right.

[B]

So you have to check it out.

[C]

All right, sounds good. Well, I appreciate it, guys. Well, you have a good rest of the podcast.

[A]

All right, see you soon.

[C]

You're.

[B]

Good to see you.

[C]

I'll watch out for balls. You watch out for deer.

[D]

All right.

[A]

All right, Miles.

[B]

Our wild burger, I think it's called.

[A]

Yeah. Are we gonna cut it or just.

[B]

Yeah, I was gonna cut it in half.

[A]

Here, I'll hold it.

[B]

The bun does not cover it at all.

[A]

Well, you know, that's okay, Miles. Well, it's a thick burger.

[B]

I can't cut with my right hand.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because I'm left handed.

[A]

Oh, I know that about you.

[C]

I just say why?

[A]

Well, anyone can cut with their non favorite hand. There you go. There you go. Wow. This half a burger is two burgers. Holy smokes. All right, first bite. That is all right.

[B]

We got beef, bison, elk, elk, bacon.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Pretty bison forward. Oh, yeah.

[B]

It's good. It's a lot of meat. My taste buds kind of have meat confusion. You ever just get too many too much meat in your mouth and your. Your brain doesn't know what to do with it?

[A]

That's why I get the meat sweats.

[B]

Yeah. This is the ultimate meat sweats burger. I mean, it's good. Eating a whole one would be a lot.

[A]

Could use a tomato.

[B]

There's one right there. So, guys, if you are in the sunlight area, you got to come test out the wild game burger. It's good. Got. I mean, look at that. Look how many patties are on there. Honestly, Charlie likes it because he's eating the whole thing. He's gonna have this done before I quit yapping.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So. So come on into the sunlight. Check out the burger and. Is that it, Jared? It's another episode of the Bellied up podcast.

[C]

You.

[B]

You want to touch penises?

[A]

Tip your bartender.

[C]

What's wrong with you?

[B]

You point to your.

[D]

You're.

[B]

You're pointing to your dick and you're going like this. You. You want to do docking?

[C]

Dock your bartender.

[B]

Don't forget to dock your bartender. Dip your bartender.

[C]

The next one. Okay.

[B]

Hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.

[C]

Ood.