Bellied Up Podcast Episode #199: “If We Had a Bar”
Hosted by: Charlie Berens & Myles “You Betcha Guy”
Original Air Date: May 7, 2026
Episode Overview
In this lively and imaginative episode, Charlie Berens and Myles (“You Betcha Guy”) belly up to a (theoretical) bar and—true to the show's form—dream up what their own bar would look like, piece by hilarious piece. Listeners are treated to their off-the-cuff humor as they brainstorm a Midwest destination full of chaotic charm, unique events, and quirky features. The pair then open the line to fan callers, which sparks earnest, funny, and surprisingly poignant conversations about small business hustle, snowblowers, bull riding, heartbreak, and more. Throughout, the Midwest flavor and fun-loving spirit shine.
Main Segment: Building the "Bellied Up Bar" (00:00–21:29)
Dreaming Up the Ultimate Midwest Bar
Key Features:
- Location Debate: Fargo, Milwaukee, Minneapolis? Or just one in each of their hometowns for “market research.”
- Décor & Memorabilia:
- Everything drilled to the wall (ask guests to bring something for the wall and use the available drill and screws) (05:05)
- Mural of Charlie and Myles riding a mechanical bull (05:26)
- Notebooks to write down patrons’ stories, high school jerseys and yearbooks as menus (06:24)
- Games & Activities:
- Bar dice, cribbage, decks of cards, tarot readings (02:05)
- Mechanical bull—and a unique “mechanical rodeo clown” you dodge for practice (05:33)
- Open mic nights for any performance—stand-up, karaoke, even open podcast night (“Open Podcast Mic,” 07:41)
- Comedy room with tight seating for 50, “pack them in tight” for louder laughs (10:58)
- Aquariums, casting competitions (“casting couch” with fishing poles), golf shotgun range, and a “wreck it room” for smashing glass (12:39, 20:12)
- Quirky Facilities:
- Confessional booth/bar for privacy (03:37)
- Boutique “hardware store” in the bar for trading/donating screws (02:20)
- Day-drinker closet with beer vendor shirts (03:04)
- Bread and butter flights, ramen, and a “bread bar” (14:24)
- Milking parlor for true “bar-to-table” dairy (15:22)
- Paying & Trading:
- Payment alternatives: 3 insults, a fishing spot, or an invite to your uncle’s hunting land (“whether he knows it or not” 09:30)
- Large “Buy, Sell, Trade” section, possibly in an abandoned Kmart (10:02)
- Live Entertainment:
- Roasts from house pianist Billy Deuce as you enter
- Dumb and Dumber and Uncle Buck (Uncle Chuck) remakes looping on TV (17:29)
- Miscellaneous:
- Slogan options: “Bar of America” or “Welcome to the Ditch Chicken—We’re the Bar of America!” (13:39)
- “Bread Brand Bread”—Myles’s potential new business, with a future pitch (16:09)
- “No money? Donate to the screw and bolt section or bring something to buy, sell, or trade” (09:49)
Memorable Quotes:
- “Confession—I’ve always wanted a little privacy for that in a bar. Normally you’re just, you know, raw-dogging that confession.” —Charlie (03:42)
- “If you don’t want to pay for any beers tonight, you better donate to the bolt-and-screw section.” —Myles (09:49)
- “Mechanical bull, yes, but how about a mechanical rodeo clown you have to dodge?” —Charlie (05:33)
First Caller: Joe Blow, Snowblower King of Appleton (21:29–42:40)
From Hobby Hustle to Side Business
Joe, calling in from Appleton, is a full-time ag mechanic with a booming side gig: buying, fixing, and selling snowblowers. His self-proclaimed title: “Snowblower King of Appleton.” He shares tips, stories, and maybe a few branding lessons.
Discussion Points:
- Started with 10 snowblowers, expanded to over 30 per season (23:09)
- Avoids lawnmowers because of—you guessed it—dog crap (“Don’t want to deal with other people’s dog crap,” 25:36)
- Best blowers: Favors “Aarons” for durability; MTDs for cheap parts and DIY repairs (27:29)
- Wife’s response: “As long as it stays behind the garage, it’s fine” (30:04)
- Sales boost during blizzards, slow summers (31:12)
- Advertising: Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace work best, but “Marketplace is an algorithm game” (39:56)
- Future ideas: Repurposing old snowblowers for summer, billboard branding (“Joe Blow—Look me up on Craigslist!” 42:06)
Notable Quotes:
- “A carburetor is a carburetor—once you play with one, you can play with pretty much any of them.” —Joe (24:40)
- “I tell the guys at work I’m Joe Blow, and they put an ‘S’ at the end… that kind of insinuates the wrong services.” —Joe (39:04)
- “Just say ‘Joe Blow—Look me up on Craigslist.’ That is all you want to do!” —Charlie (42:06)
Second Caller: Logan, Fourth-Generation Plumber & Amateur Bull Rider (48:44–78:46)
The Wild Life of a Young Bull Rider
Logan calls from a construction site at Valley Fair in Shakopee, MN, and immediately charms with his young-veteran blue-collar cred, pet pig, plumbing lineage, and candid tales of rodeo and heartbreak.
Discussion Points:
- Works as a plumber in a family business (50:00, 70:20)
- Lives with a “mini” pig (200 lbs) that is house-trained and acts like a dog (55:29; 55:56)
- Amateur bull riding origin story: signed up accidentally for the pro division, “broke the arena record for furthest flown: 14 ft” (56:58)
- As the “old man” of bull riding at 22, aiming for eight seconds but has only hit four (61:39)
- Favorite part: adrenaline rush, crowd cheering, “It feels like the first time every time” (66:08)
- Injuries: ACL, concussion, but “never hurt in the sport, only at the sport” (62:01)
- Recently dumped—heartbreak compounded by surgery and immobility; friends use his pig to pick up girls (73:11; 74:40)
- “All I want is a smart girl who, if I get hurt, doesn’t look at me like I’m a vegetable.” (76:36)
Memorable Moments & Quotes:
- “[Bull riding’s] gotta be the worst profession to be an amateur in.” —Charlie (54:14)
- “I broke a record for furthest flown: 14 ft.” —Logan (57:20)
- “Sometimes you last four seconds.” —Charlie, riffing on riding and romance (61:28)
- “All my friends bring girls over to use my pig to pick up girls.” —Logan (74:40)
- On his breakup: “All it took was you being immobile for her to be like, ‘I don’t think it’s worth it.’” —Myles (73:43)
- “You gotta lean into the ick for a while—through ‘ictus’ and health!” —Charlie (79:39)
Final Reflections: The "Ick" in Relationships & Dessert Banter (78:49–end)
- Charlie & Myles mull over the concept of “the ick” in dating, inspired by Logan’s heartbreak (79:27).
- Personal confessions about moments they’ve given their partners “the ick” (Miles’s dainty jump on the canopy bed, 80:50).
- Lots of banter about Midwest relationships, mental note to always tip your bartender and tell your friends you love them.
Notable Quotes Summary
- “If you don’t want to pay for beer, be prepared to donate to the screw and bolt section!”
- “A carburetor is a carburetor.”
- “You got a taste of that adrenaline, now it’s never going away… always chasing the rush.”
- “All my friends use my pig to pick up girls; I might need to start charging them rent.”
- “You gotta lean into the ick for a little bit… through ictus and health!”
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:00–21:29 – Designing the Bellied Up bar, brainstorming features and activities
- 21:29–42:40 – Joe Blow, Snowblower King of Appleton, on running a backyard business
- 48:44–78:46 – Logan: plumbing, pigs, heartbreak, and the dangers (and comedy) of amateur bull riding
- 79:27–81:46 – Reflections on “the ick,” relationships, and “ictus and health” vows
Tone, Style & Character
The episode is every bit as improvisational, jovial, and relatable as Bellied Up fans expect: full of Midwest flavor, low-key wisdom, and endless riffing. Both hosts maintain their regional charm, mixing genuine advice with self-deprecating hilarity, and invite callers to join in the fun and vulnerability. The result is an episode that feels like hanging out at the best small-town bar in America—where plans are hatched, stories are swapped, and everyone leaves with a smile.
Missed the episode?
This summary captures all the laughs and heart—just skip the ads, pour a cheap beer, and imagine yourself bellied up to the bar with Myles and Charlie.
