Midwest Nice Vs. Southern Hospitality #133

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast Summary: "Midwest Nice Vs. Southern Hospitality #133"

Released on January 2, 2025

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Introduction: A Visit to Mars Cheese Castle

In this episode of Bellied Up, hosts Charlie Barrons and Myles the You Betcha Guy transport listeners to the iconic Mars Cheese Castle in Wisconsin. As they indulge in Malcolm's Dill and Garlic Cheese Curds, the duo sets the stage for a lively discussion steeped in Midwest charm and humor.

Notable Quote:

• Charlie Barrons [01:31]: "Mars Cheese Castle is an institution. It's a staple here in Wisconsin. If you pop this out of Wisconsin, Wisconsin might just fall right down into Illinois."

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Exploring Wisconsin Culture

Charlie's homage to Wisconsin's rich cultural tapestry shines as he delves into the history of the Mars Cheese Castle, blending local lore with playful banter about cheese and castles—a quintessential Wisconsin pairing.

Notable Quotes:

• Charlie Barrons [02:30]: "Back in the day, a lord became a king. And the king made this his fortress, and he filled it with cheese. And there was so much cheese back in the day that it was the surplus for Wisconsin."
• Myles [03:49]: "Very good cheese curds, by the way. They know what they're doing here at the castle."

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Anecdote: Driving with Charlie

Myles shares a humorous and slightly chaotic story titled "What It's Like to Drive 30 Minutes with Charlie Barron," highlighting Charlie's adventurous driving style. The recounting leads to lighthearted ribbing and showcases the hosts' chemistry.

Notable Quotes:

• Myles [05:02]: "Charlie was supposed to pick me up at 9:45. He calls me, I think 9:53. And he's like, where are you?"
• Charlie Barrons [06:14]: "We were more than halfway there. The situation was, I knew, I knew that that wasn't the exit, but I had a mental like little brain fart."

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Call-In Segment 1: Levi’s Embarrassing Confession

Levi, a caller from Michigan, shares an embarrassing yet hilarious story about accidentally pooping his pants during a high school date. The story unfolds with relatable mishaps and culminates in jovial advice on handling such awkward situations.

Notable Quotes:

• Levi [17:13]: "I just covered my own nose. And I'm like, oh, no. Yeah, I can smell it."
• Charlie Barrons [28:24]: "Never trust a fart. And everybody can take that to heart."

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Call-In Segment 2: Patrick’s Debate on Engineers vs. Concrete Workers

Patrick, a structural engineer from Alabama, engages in a spirited debate with Charlie and Miles about the perennial tug-of-war between engineers and concrete workers. The discussion humorously touches on over-engineering, client relationships, and even Yeti products.

Notable Quotes:

• Patrick [32:02]: "When engineers and concrete workers and these guys don't get along, we get distracted by who the real common enemy is."
• Miles [33:35]: "It's the bone I have to pick is when there is a classic over-engineering going on."

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Midwest Nice Vs. Southern Hospitality: The Heart of the Episode

The core of the episode centers on comparing Midwest Nice with Southern Hospitality. Charlie asserts that Midwest Nice surpasses Southern Hospitality in genuine, neighborly support, while Patrick contends that Southern Hospitality embodies similar virtues adapted to a different climate and cultural backdrop.

Notable Quotes:

• Charlie Barrons [41:52]: "The whole Southern hospitality doesn't hold a candle to the Midwest nice."
• Patrick [43:45]: "It's the opposite of the same coin. Y'all bundle up. We shred layers."

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Call-In Segment 3: Jack’s Ice Fishing Predicament

Jack from Aberdeen, South Dakota, calls in with a predicament: his wife doesn't want him to go ice fishing without her. The trio proposes creative and humorous solutions, blending practical advice with trademark comedic flair.

Notable Quotes:

• Jack [56:33]: "She wants an ice castle, but on a beer budget money."
• Charlie Barrons [63:17]: "This is feeling cheap and bougie and in the soap dispenser."

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Closing Moments: Future Plans and Lighthearted Farewells

The episode wraps up with playful discussions about potential business ventures involving porta potties, emphasizing the hosts' knack for turning everyday scenarios into comedic gold. They also tease future content and reminisce about shared experiences, leaving listeners entertained and eager for the next episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Charlie Barrons [70:55]: "Porta Pot. A porta pop up. Yeah, Porta Pop up is now trademarked."
• Miles [71:03]: "Love you guys."

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Conclusion

"Midwest Nice Vs. Southern Hospitality #133" offers a delightful blend of regional pride, personal anecdotes, and interactive humor. Charlie Barrons and Myles the You Betcha Guy skillfully navigate through diverse topics, engaging callers and weaving their stories into a tapestry that celebrates both Midwestern warmth and Southern charm. This episode serves as a testament to the enduring appeal of genuine hospitality and the unifying power of laughter.

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Join the Conversation: Want to be featured on Bellied Up? Follow them on Instagram to catch live call-in opportunities and share your stories at the bar!

Transcript

[Miles]

Guys, we got big news in the Bellied up world. We now have a voicemail line. We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time. We hear you. That stinks. So by including the voicemail line, it will allow everyone to get a chance to have their topic heard. We'll listen to the voicemails, then line up calls with the ones that we love. This means the more interesting your topic and the more energy that you bring increases your chances of being featured on the show. So if you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095. You can call in 24. 7. And again, the number is 218-303-5095. If you forget the number, it's in the description of the podcast. So don't worry. Cheers. Joy the episode. Welcome back to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. I'm here with my host, Charlie Barrons. Charlie, where are we at today?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, there's squeaking in my mouth. Told you, Miles. We're at the Mars Cheese Castle.

[Miles]

We are at the Mars Cheese Castle. This is my first time ever here.

[Charlie Barrons]

It's a staple. Sorry, hang on. I got cheese squeaking.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's why I was gonna wait till we did a little. Very good.

[Charlie Barrons]

We are eating. Eating Malcolm. Malcolm's dill and garlic cheese curd. It's really good.

[Miles]

Tell us about the cheese Castle, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, Miles, Mars Cheese Castle is a really. It's an institution. It's a staple here in Wisconsin. If you pop this out of Wisconsin, Wisconsin might just fall right down into Illinois. And.

[Miles]

And honestly, I can't think of anything more Wisconsin than a castle.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, I mean, we're known for our castles here in Wisconsin. We're known for our cheese, so it makes sense.

[Miles]

You put up the Mars Cheese Castle. You got White Castle.

[Charlie Barrons]

White castles. That's not a Wisconsin thing. Sorry, That's, I think, a Minnesota thing. That's the first place I had. Oh, no. It said no hi, IO thing.

[Miles]

I basically everywhere but here.

[Charlie Barrons]

I flew into some town and I saw White Castle corporate headquarters sign lit up on the. On the skyline. I want to say it was somewhere per. Perhaps Columbus. Wichita. Wichita. I did. I think I did Wichita. I did Wichita.

[Miles]

Tell us about the cheese Castle, Charlie. What's the history behind it?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, Miles, way back in the day, there were lords and commoners here in Wisconsin. And one of the lords became a king after a hard battle against the Racine King.

[Miles]

Is that what we're seeing on the painting over there?

[Charlie Barrons]

That's exactly what it is. Yep. You see, there's the Lord of Kenosha. And the Lord of Kenosha became a king, and he hashed out this very castle right here, this is an ancient, ancient building. It's got a cave with cheese. It's got a big old mouse. Now, that mouse used to be living. That's a stuffed mouse. They used to put plastic.

[Miles]

I did do a lap. I saw the mouse. It did say, no climbing on the mouse. And thank God they had that sign because I was about to hop up there.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yep. And Miles, you know, we are cut from the same cloth because that sign is up there because of me.

[Miles]

Yeah, that adds up.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yep. You can't ride the mouse. Okay. It's not one of those. You put a quarter in, you get a funny feeling twixt you. Anyways, so, yeah, back in the day, a lord became a king. And the king made this his fortress, and he filled it with cheese. And there was so much cheese back in the day that it was the surplus for Wisconsin. And now they sell it to the commoners. And I purchased some cheese for you, by the way. Didn't hear. Thank you.

[Miles]

Well, I haven't. I haven't got into them yet.

[Charlie Barrons]

You have gotten into them. You were eating them before the show. You dropped one on the ground. I said, miles, five second roll, you said. I'm not eating.

[Miles]

That was me getting into cheese curds. That was a little sampler, Charlie. You don't want to see me get into some cheese curds.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I know this guy. You're going to be plugged up till Christmas, I have a feeling.

[Miles]

You ready? Should we do it?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Oh, we're going to eat one. Cheers. A cheese cheers.

[Miles]

This is a cheers to Lord Mars and his cheese castle.

[Charlie Barrons]

To Lord Mars.

[Miles]

Very squeaky.

[Charlie Barrons]

Mm. Terrible radio right there. Miles, stop it. That sound gross. You gotta, you gotta. You're getting too much saliva in with your squeaks.

[Miles]

Very good cheese curds, by the way.

[Charlie Barrons]

So good.

[Miles]

They know what they're doing here at the castle.

[Charlie Barrons]

Of course they do. I mean, you're in Wisconsin. We know cheese, Miles.

[Miles]

True. Hey, it all adds up. It all adds up.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes, it does.

[Miles]

Before we get into some callers. Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, Miles?

[Miles]

I would love to give a insight into my morning.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay, what happened?

[Miles]

And I'm gonna call this segment what it's like to drive 30 minutes with Charlie Barron.

[Charlie Barrons]

Really? Re. It was that bad?

[Miles]

We'll let the listeners decide. I didn't say it was bad. Just saying this is what it's like, no, that.

[Charlie Barrons]

Your tone.

[Miles]

Drive 30 minutes with Charlie Barron.

[Charlie Barrons]

Your tone is sarcastic already. I can tell. I'm gonna be offended.

[Miles]

So Charlie was supposed to pick me up at 9:45. He calls me, I think 9:53. And he's like, where are you? And if you know anything about Charlie Barron's, you don't want to go down to the lobby and wait for him because it could be 45 minutes.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's not true as well.

[Miles]

Stay in your hotel room and watch, you know, morning sports.

[Charlie Barrons]

I was early. I was early.

[Miles]

Early for you. Yes.

[Charlie Barrons]

I was early waiting for you.

[Miles]

So he calls me. He's a little.

[Charlie Barrons]

I was in a no parking zone waiting for your ass. I got asked to leave, and that's when I called you. I said, where are you? I was being patient. Sorry. This is your story.

[Miles]

So, no. Anyways. So then I get in the car and going, good. We start chatting, and all of a sudden he goes, ah, shit. I think I was supposed to get off on that exit, right? Or supposed to get on the interstate right there. So we had to do a little loop around. We end up finding another way onto the interstate. And we're sitting at a stoplight to turn left, and there's two lanes turning left. The lane we are in and the. The left turning lane, it splits. One goes on the interstate, one goes to a different road.

[Charlie Barrons]

Confusing.

[Miles]

We. We start. We get the green arrow. Charlie's in the right lane that's supposed to go right. He needs to be in the left lane. So he kind of starts going, and he just goes all. And just cuts off the person in the left lane. So he cut him off. The right thing.

[Charlie Barrons]

I cut him off. I had plenty of space then.

[Miles]

All while this is happening, I've mentally noted that there's a cop just sitting. Sitting at the stoplight as well. So debatable. I was like, all right, maybe this is an isolated occurrence. Then we're driving the interstate. That cop was then driving on the interstate behind us pretty tightly, and he.

[Charlie Barrons]

Was running the plates, and Charlie, Charlie.

[Miles]

Goes, oh, God, I hope. I hope my tabs are up today.

[Charlie Barrons]

And apparently they were. Apparently they were.

[Miles]

Or that guy got, you know, he had a rough night the night before, and he's hungover, and he's just driving around, not. Not pulling anyone over. And you got lucky.

[Charlie Barrons]

Maybe.

[Miles]

So then we're driving again. 30 minutes in. Next thing I know, Charlie is exiting. We. We get off the exit. He's pulling up the stop sign, stop light. He's like, ah, I Don't think I was supposed to get off there. No, I look on GPS, he exited 8 miles early on like a 20 mile trip. I was, we were only. We were just over halfway there. We were over halfway there and he got off that. We were ready to go.

[Charlie Barrons]

We were more than halfway there. The situation was, I knew, I knew that that wasn't the exit, but I had a mental like little brain fart, if you will. Gas, gas in the brain. And I knew as soon as I did it, I knew it was wrong. And then I got right back on and just kept, kept her moving right down here to the Mars Cheese Castle. Miles, I'm sorry, was, was your seat warmer on?

[Miles]

It was. I actually turned it off.

[Charlie Barrons]

What was, Was the car warm for you this morning?

[Miles]

It was, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Did I say anything about the granola bar you ate?

[Miles]

Yeah. You did?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. I let you eat in the car. I let you drink your coffee in the car. Okay. I got you here safe and sound. And really, I think today what you need to do is go home and write your gratitude list instead of picking apart. Picking apart my.

[Miles]

I mean, objectively. Yeah, it's probably. You just got me hear sound. I don't know about safe. You cut across track traffic.

[Charlie Barrons]

You're not wounded. I did not cut across traffic. I did not. I said, oh, sorry, you're going to squeeze right past you.

[Miles]

You did give a wave.

[Charlie Barrons]

I did give away.

[Miles]

It was all good after.

[Charlie Barrons]

So we're fine then? We're fine. You know, Miles, I think that, that first of all, you're no better than me, okay? You're often late and your car is often messy. All right?

[Miles]

So, you know, it's funny about him calling me at 9:52. I was still putting my pants on. Yeah, I'll be right down. I was waiting for you. Hold on.

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank God, because I had just gotten there at 9:52.

[Miles]

I know you did.

[Charlie Barrons]

I'm glad we can all.

[Miles]

And you actually said to me, you're like, I've been waiting.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I did. I did. Because I want. I wanted time to go get coffee.

[Miles]

That you. You. I think you lied to me.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, I lied to you all the time.

[Miles]

You said, oh, I'm their love lies. I'm circling the block because a guy said I couldn't park in the spot that was parked. And he was never parked there because then when I was parked in the spot that he said that he couldn't.

[Charlie Barrons]

Park, somebody did wave me on. I wasn't parked for very long, but I did get waved along.

[Miles]

Unbelievable.

[Charlie Barrons]

Then that guy wasn't there. The lap when I went around the corner. So I figure, well, must be okay now. Signs are just suggestions. Anyways, Miles, do we have a. We got a good episode today?

[Miles]

I think we do.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. It's going to be fun. We got a fistful, fistful of cheese, couple bags of cheese and a couple beers and a little Tippy Cow. And we're here at the Mars Cheese Castle, and I am just feeling special.

[Miles]

It's morning right now, and it is lively in here. It's popular. Bellied up to the bar. Yeah, we got some Bloody Mary's over there with a little beer, beer chaser on there.

[Charlie Barrons]

What I. Miles, what I like about this bar, Can I just tell you? On that end of the bar on the east end, it says soldier field, 62 miles that way. On the west end, it says Lambeau Field, 149 miles that way. We are in the area of Wisconsin that does have some Bears fans. So we got to be on alert. We got to be on high alert.

[Miles]

Okay, Charlie. Well, answer this.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

How can you spot a Bears fan in the wild?

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, I'm so glad.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, you look for the saddest person in the room. Okay. They're just walking around. They've got like the, the, like a little cloud that follows them. They're often wet for that reason.

[Miles]

Some reason. They're just always wet.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, they've been rained on recently, even on sunny days.

[Miles]

Somehow when you, you know, you bump into them, they suddenly get startled, like they didn't know anyone else was there because they're just so much in their own emotions.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, they're. They've cried that morning for sure.

[Miles]

And eyes are puffy usually.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. If just their shirt is drenched, but their hair is dry, that just means they've been crying all morning. They're often broke because they bet on the Bears. And they do it reflexively, even though they know they should never do that. They usually have Illinois plates and they're cutting you off in the fast lane and they're screaming out the window, why are you going 42?

[Miles]

And, you know, back. Yeah, 42. That was the last time you guys had a Super Bowl.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes, yes. Actually, it was 86.

[Miles]

85.

[Charlie Barrons]

85. 85. Season 86 is when they won the super bowl. And they haven't won much since. You know, let's see here.

[Miles]

I remember growing up, there used to be a local TV commercial for a sports bar in town. And the, the bit was that there was always four guys bellied up to the bar. Each one was a representative of each of the North. NFC north football teams.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So you had the Vikings, the cheese had. You had the Bears fan, and then you always had the Lions fan. He had a paper bag over his head.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes, Yes.

[Miles]

I would venture to say that I think the Lions can pass that paper bag right on over to Chicago.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, they have passed it to Chicago.

[Miles]

Brotherhood of the traveling paper bag. Yeah, I think that we just. We got a new award every year a team in the NFC north gets the paper bag award, and right now Chicago's got it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yep.

[Levi]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So if you see a fellow Bears fan, give him a paper bag.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's. That's very, very accurate. In fact, Detroit does is doing a collection this Christmas to get all their paper bags over to Chicago.

[Miles]

It's like a toy drive. Instead you bring your old paper bag and they are going to ship them down to Chicago.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes, yes. Because if you think about it, there's just a big popul in Chicago and Detroit doesn't have that population, but every little bit helps. So if you guys have an extra paper bag laying around, please send it to the city of Chicago. They need your paper bags. This. This holiday season, Even though we're shooting this after the holidays.

[Miles]

January.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. It's still a holiday somewhere. So.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I guess the holiday for the Bears fans are coming up.

[Charlie Barrons]

What's that?

[Miles]

Watching other teams in the Super Bowl.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

It's a big holiday in Chicago.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Everyone gathers up, bring a paper bag, and, you know, get drunk.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's why. That's why Bears fans are such bad drivers, though, you know, can't see. They can't see. It's. It's tough to, like, get the eye holes right, you know, because it fits your. Your normal viewing when you're outside your car.

[Miles]

But you got no periphs, right? No peripherals.

[Charlie Barrons]

You got no peripherals. Peripherals with a paper bag. And that's the problem.

[Miles]

Anything off of center line for a Bears fan driving is a blind spot because of the paper bag.

[Charlie Barrons]

So they're not. They're not, you know, pricks on the road. They just can't see. Is it. And they can't see their speedometer. That's why they're going 150 miles an hour. Yeah. Yeah. That's why they're going. They're going a minimum of 85.

[Miles]

Because even when they turn their head, the bag stays in the same spot.

[Charlie Barrons]

So. Yeah.

[Miles]

See anything?

[Charlie Barrons]

So that means when you flip them off, they can't See that either.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, we don't flip the Bears fans off. We just wave. They know which finger we mean to wave. You know that one?

[Miles]

Read between the lines, buddy. Stay between the lines.

[Charlie Barrons]

Stay between the lines. Read between the lines.

[Miles]

Well, Miles, take some calls.

[Charlie Barrons]

Let's do it.

[Miles]

Guys, we have Levi from Michigan and Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

What's that?

[Miles]

Levi's got a confession for us.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, we got a bellied up confession.

[Miles]

Step into the confessional.

[Charlie Barrons]

Come, you know, come, my son. Tell us what's on your mind.

[Levi]

Yeah. You guys, are you guys all right? Being a little bit of a therapy for me here for a minute.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes, we are. We absolutely are. And dramatically, the light in our bar just went out.

[Miles]

Well, now we're in the confessional. Confession, there's a dark in there for a reason, you know? Yes, it's got. Confessional is kind of like being in a dark bar, you know, you don't really want to see the other person's face.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yep, yep.

[Patrick]

Well, that's right.

[Levi]

It's better that way.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, tell us what's on your mind here, Levi. What happened?

[Levi]

Well, I. This goes back a little ways, but I was a freshman in high school, okay. And I'm 31 now, so this is a little, little ways back, all right? And I really like this girl. And she invited me to go to the beach on July 4th with her family to watch some fireworks. And we, we got there, had some lunch at this, at this bar. And just the grossest burger, greasiest burger I've. I've ever had in my life. And I took one bite and I was like, this is probably. This is going to be a problem. But I was so. I was so insecure, I just ate the whole thing. I just. I had no. I mean, why wouldn't you, Right?

[Miles]

Yeah. What are you going to insult the family for?

[Levi]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. So I. I eat the whole thing and we are hanging out at the. At the beach or whatever, and it was. It was great. And then the stomach starts to kill. We saw that coming. But the beauty at the beach is, you know, you can. You can fart or whatever and the wind will just take it. Nobody knows anybody out there.

[Miles]

It's gone. It's gone. Like a fart in the wind.

[Levi]

Exactly. Yeah. And I was living that. And then around it, it was. It was fine until we were leaving. So this is like probably 11:00 at night.

[Miles]

Oh, no.

[Levi]

And we're walking back to the car and I'm in my swim trunks, flip flops and T shirt. And we're walking back. We get to a crosswalk, and it just hits. And I don't know. I don't know if you've ever experienced that, but when your stomach, it just decides this has to go somewhere. And right now there's only one way. And we're at a crosswalk, and I just. It just starts. I, I. It starts coming out, and I'm. It's like coming out in my pants. And the. Thank God I was wearing underwear. And I. If I was because I was in swim trunks, it would have just been a mess. But I, We. We are standing there, and there's this, like, her sister, her mom, and her dad and her. And like, five other strangers and. And like, seconds time. Everybody. Somebody just goes, oh, my God, can you smell that? And I, I, I, I just covered my own nose. And I'm like, oh, no. Yeah, I can smell it. And they all start, like, gagging like they can't breathe.

[Miles]

So.

[Levi]

Because we're not quite to the car, and we get to another crosswalk, and it happens again. So it starts coming out again. So I've just got. I mean, I'm getting filled up here, and we get. I mean, there, yeah, they. Nobody is. Nobody is saying a word other than trying to hold their breath. And we get to the car, and I either, I'm like, okay, I'm either gonna get in the car, or I'm just gonna be a man and say, hey, I just need to come out here and say this. I have poop in my pants. And I don't know what to do, but I just get in the car. I don't do it. I don't do it. I get in the car, and so I get in the back seat and I sit in between this girl and her sister, and I sit right in the middle on the bench seat, and I just.

[Miles]

It.

[Levi]

I just sit in it. It just spread. I mean, I'm just in it. And we. We start driving, and no one is saying a word. They just are gagging. And so we start driving, and her mom. I'll never forget this. Her mom had her head out the window to breathe. She couldn't breathe. And I'm just sitting there. And so her dad goes, obviously, we can't take this. So he goes, we have to get out. So we get to a gas station. We all get out. He's like, everybody check your shoes. So I, like, get out, and I'm like, checking. I'm like, barely moving my leg because I don't want any of it to come out of.

[Miles]

My God, this is terrible.

[Levi]

So I'm, like, checking my shoes and I go, okay, how about. Let me. Let me run in the bathroom to make sure it's not anywhere else. So I go inside of the bathroom, and, you know, when I go in the bathroom, they were like, that kid himself, right? So. But I go in the bathroom and I toss the underwear.

[Charlie Barrons]

Smart.

[Levi]

I put the swimming trunks in the sink, rinse them out, and then I use the hand dryer to dry them off, and I come back out and I'm like, it wasn't me.

[Charlie Barrons]

I don't know.

[Levi]

So we get back in the car, and no one is saying a word like, no. There's. No one is, like, asking about it. Everyone is just trying not to throw up, and there's, like, residual smell still.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, because you sat in it the whole first part of the ride, and it got on the seat. I hope to God they had leather seats.

[Levi]

It had to have.

[Charlie Barrons]

Levi, you really needed to bring your namesake with you on this trip. I think pair of jeans would have saved you here. My guy. So you're right. You spent the entire time in silence, and they knew.

[Miles]

I mean, they had to. There's a lot to unpack here, Charlie. Well, first of all, why didn't you pump and dump earlier? Pump your pants full of poop and then dump it later? Like, why? There had to have been a porta potty by the beach somewhere.

[Charlie Barrons]

Miles, you sound like an expert in this situation.

[Miles]

I've never been in this scenario. God, no. I've only shit my butt cheeks.

[Levi]

You know, I've asked myself that, too. I don't remember if. When we were at the beach, I don't remember if. I think I just always thought it was gas. Like, I don't think I ever thought, I need to go.

[Miles]

Well, no, we understand that it can suddenly come. But why did you let it go as far as you did?

[Levi]

Well, I didn't have to. It didn't come until I was. We were walking back and everything was closed. All the. All the stores were closed on the. On the strip there.

[Miles]

I know. Why didn't you just go, I think I'm gonna go back in for one more dip and then just run into the water.

[Charlie Barrons]

That would have been the move.

[Levi]

That would have been good.

[Charlie Barrons]

That would have been good swimming.

[Miles]

Because the way it sounds is this wasn't a floater, so you'd have been in the clear.

[Levi]

You're right. It would have dissipated.

[Miles]

Were you worried at any point that it would Start dribbling down your leg into your shoe.

[Levi]

I was worried the whole time that it was going to do that. And when I. Especially when I was checking my shoes, quote unquote, I was worried that it was going to come down.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow. So did you get a second date?

[Levi]

You know, I didn't. For some reason I didn't. I don't know why.

[Charlie Barrons]

Have you talked to this girl since?

[Levi]

No. I mean, not really. She went off to college, and then we weren't really friends after that. And I remember her sister was around, and I remember bringing it up again one time, like, do you remember black women? Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I had poop in my pants. And she was like, yeah. I mean, we kind of. We kind of figured. You did. No, I didn't really get away with it.

[Miles]

No. God, no. You're literally sitting with poop in your pants in a tight car. Wow.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Levi]

Her poor mom. That's what I couldn't forget.

[Charlie Barrons]

You got it.

[Miles]

You should have started, like, gaslighting her mom and just blaming her.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. You know, it's okay to admit it.

[Miles]

Oh, you got your head out the window. You're probably the one that did it. You're. You're over. You're overdoing it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Or you just blame it on it. Blame it on the cows off the road. Like, oh, man, they must just laid fertilizer down. Dude, it's fourth of July. Then the corn is already knee high. This is why you never leave home without a box of matches, by the way.

[Miles]

That's true, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right.

[Levi]

You're right.

[Miles]

I got. Yeah, I got someone in some. In the truck. You always got to have matches on you.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. And that's. You knew it was happening. You knew what was going on. That's when you get in the car and say, hey, guys, have you ever wondered about the physics of matches? And you light one immediately, and then you just. You. How long was the drive now?

[Levi]

Or I bet it was. Yeah, I bet it was a little over an hour.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Levi]

And felt like an eternity.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. And then you're squishing around. Wow. Well, thank you for getting this off your chest or off your ass.

[Miles]

And imagine they stop at a restaurant and he's just on. He just has to order the stinkiest menu item. He orders, like, a whole plate full of Brussels sprouts. Just trying to mask. He pulls out a candle with a match. You know, since we're on a date. Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Let's set the moon.

[Miles]

Set the moon. He's like, just. He Lights the candle, that blows it out. Sorry, I screwed it up. Screwed it up. I didn't light it right. Just keeps lighting matches the whole time.

[Levi]

Oh, God. I do have to think when they drop. Because they dropped me off and I had to think. Especially when they brought me to my house and dropped me off when I got out. They were probably like, you can never see that kid again. That has to be.

[Miles]

I don't think that had to be said. I think the girl was pretty made up her mind.

[Levi]

Didn't have to be convinced.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I think he probably said. Anyway, take a good look at him. You see him waddling up to his front door.

[Miles]

Look at his. His cheeks are clenched.

[Charlie Barrons]

So have you. How many people have you told about this? Since I've told.

[Levi]

I've told a few. I am married now, so I did have to disclose that. Yeah, it's like the ring was on.

[Miles]

There, you know, we're getting married in a few weeks, and there's just something I got to tell you beforehand. She's thinking all of the worst things. Yeah, right. Ten years ago, I pooped my pants in front of an entire family. And. And they had to sell the car because it smelled for eternity after that.

[Charlie Barrons]

He definitely did that after they were married.

[Miles]

Yeah, probably.

[Charlie Barrons]

No turning back.

[Levi]

He had to commit there.

[Miles]

Well, so my question is, if you had issues with that, maybe you have, like, an IBS situation going on. Did something else happen?

[Levi]

No, you know, I. I have not had. I won't say never say never. I have not. I have not had it happen again. But I. I am hopefully a little bit more prepared for next time.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, let this be a lesson to you. Never trust a fart. And everybody can take that to heart.

[Miles]

Yeah. Don't gamble on farts.

[Charlie Barrons]

No.

[Miles]

It's serious business. People think we're joking. We're not. This is serious stuff.

[Charlie Barrons]

You're like, oh, I've felt this before. No, you haven't always. And it's in retrospect. That's a good lesson. Some people don't learn that till they're 30, but you're. You're learning that at ripe young age. Pun intended. 14 years old. You know, you can recover at that age. You can recover. So in retrospect, be thankful you learned this one early.

[Levi]

That's right. That's right.

[Miles]

All right, man. Well, thanks for calling in and giving your confession. You know, I feel we're listening. Not many people that know this.

[Charlie Barrons]

We should give them a penance.

[Levi]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Since this is a confessional, Charlie, what's his penance.

[Charlie Barrons]

I want you to say to our.

[Miles]

Fathers a Hail Mary.

[Charlie Barrons]

Three Hail Marys.

[Miles]

An act of contrition.

[Charlie Barrons]

Actually, a Hail Mary for everybody else in that car, so four Hail Marys total. Say a Hail Mary for your swimsuit and. And always, never leave home without a box of matches. And light a candle in church the next time you're there for that family. All right? They're still suffering. They're still a little bit of.

[Miles]

A little bit of them. Their soul died in that car that day.

[Charlie Barrons]

I just love how every. This happened on the Fourth of July. So every Fourth of July, this probably comes back up in conversation, like, anytime there's a bad Fourth of July. Well, at least it's not the time, Leah. Levi came and shattered his band.

[Miles]

They're like, quite literally, we've already hit rock bottom. Fourth of July, so it's all uphill. That was a shitty Fourth of July.

[Charlie Barrons]

That was a shitty Fourth of July. Oh, man. Well, good for you, Levi. Good for you. Thank you for sharing with us.

[Levi]

Hey, cheers, guys.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right.

[Levi]

Thanks for having me on.

[Charlie Barrons]

Anytime, anytime.

[Miles]

Have a good one, man.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Eat a salad. Oh, wow.

[Miles]

I mean, that's. That's a nightmare scenario.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, it is. You know, but it's good to learn those things, life. I'll say that much. Yeah. You've never. Never had a situation like that, huh?

[Miles]

No.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Too bad there wasn't a kid in the car, because that would have been, you know, Or a dog.

[Miles]

You know, what would have happened if there had been a dog?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, you could blame it on the dog.

[Miles]

Oh, okay. You know, I don't know. What? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

I love how the dad gave it. Out. Everybody get out and check your shoes.

[Miles]

Check your shoes. And he's, like, looking at him. You go check your shoes in the gas station, in the bathroom. Well, should we take another caller?

[Charlie Barrons]

Huh?

[Miles]

Guys, we have Patrick from Alabama on the line. He is a structural engineer, and he says that he wants to go to toe with me.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow.

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't know what. I don't know what he wants, but, Patrick, let's do it. Let's go toe to toe. What do you.

[Patrick]

I mean, I just heard you complain about engineers when you, you know, and your time as a concrete worker and always giving engineers about a hard time. So I figured somebody's gotta stand up for the engineers every now and then.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

I knew this was gonna happen, Miles. You couldn't leave the engineers alone, and this is the repercussions you get. All right, you guys go toe to toe. Also pecker to pecker. Let's see what we got.

[Miles]

Maybe for Patrick, but not me. It's more like belly to belly.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's a closer side to side.

[Patrick]

How about arm and arm?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, arm and arm. All right. Well, that's a whole other thing. Well, what? State your piece, Patrick.

[Miles]

Yeah, so what did I say that really rubbed you the wrong way?

[Patrick]

I mean, I run into it every day at work, man. It's not concrete guys anymore. It used to be, but now it's welders and fabricators now. Everything's always blamed on the engineers, as if we had the final say. So when in all reality. I think the problem that we have when engineers and concrete workers and these guys don't get along is we get distracted by who the real common enemy is.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Patrick]

And that is the client.

[Miles]

Okay, Yeah, I Can I. You know what? I'll agree with that one.

[Charlie Barrons]

The client is always wrong. In other words, the client is always.

[Miles]

A pain in the ass.

[Patrick]

Always. Whether it's the Navy on a ship that you're building or somebody's concrete driveway and they want it, you know, six inches wider at this one spot after it's already been formed up and poured.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And I think for me.

[Patrick]

So why is it that engineers get blamed for everything, Miles?

[Miles]

It's because you guys are the rule followers. You guys are the nerds. You're the ones saying, we can't do it like this because you. The building will fall down. You know, it's like. What do you mean? We've done it the other way 100 times in a row and the building still standing.

[Patrick]

Yeah, but everything's always okay until it's not. And that's what we're doing. We're trying to avoid those bad situations.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, really, I think the bone I have to pick is when there is a classic over engineering going on. Would you agree that some people over.

[Patrick]

Engineer things every day, man. That's part of the job.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, give us an example, Miles, of something. When is an engineer hurt you? When has it been over engineered?

[Miles]

Pocketbook.

[Charlie Barrons]

Pocketbook. Oh, it's a little spend.

[Miles]

The more time they end up engineering something. Not only you got to pay them for more time, you then got to pay for more material. You got to do all of this extra stuff that ends up costing the client money, ends up costing each everyone more money.

[Patrick]

Well, yeah, but doesn't the con. Don't y'all end up making more money? That's extra overtime for you guys.

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank you. I was just gonna say People.

[Miles]

Well, I also have another one, a little zinger for you. It'll say, you're the concrete guy. You build it too good, you're not gonna have any repeat customers.

[Charlie Barrons]

Ah, planned obsolescence.

[Miles]

It's like the iPhone. It's like the iPhone's intentionally making your battery go to shit.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's why every new building looks like a freaking Ikea.

[Miles]

Yeah, concrete businesses are built on up charging for having to come fix things. How is anyone supposed to make a living if you guys are engineering stuff to a T?

[Charlie Barrons]

Stop doing your job so good is what he's saying.

[Patrick]

All right, I'll. I'll make. I'll make sure our buildings start falling down so you guys can, you know, have a little.

[Miles]

No, we did not say that. We did not say that.

[Charlie Barrons]

I mean, we did it.

[Patrick]

You're writing all this down, right?

[Miles]

We just want you to make sure that it just has enough structural integrity to not fall down. Not in the worst case scenario.

[Charlie Barrons]

Patrick, I gotta tell you, from an argument standpoint, you're winning right now.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yep. In the debate. Yep. He's currently winning. You're gonna have to buckle up. Miles. You're gonna have to give him a little bit more because he just said. Said that. Also, who says pocketbook these days? You know, in my pocketbook. Do you still balance a checkbook, Miles? Yeah, you kind of look like you do.

[Miles]

Oh, God, I needed. I had a checkbook in high school, though. Did you checkbook in high school?

[Charlie Barrons]

I did. Patrick, do you have a checkbook?

[Patrick]

I did, man. I thought you had to pay rent back in the day. You couldn't do cash or credit card.

[Miles]

No.

[Patrick]

Had to be a check.

[Charlie Barrons]

Got him. Nice accent, by the way. Where are you calling him from again?

[Patrick]

I'm from Mobile, Alabama.

[Charlie Barrons]

Mobile, Alabama.

[Miles]

We got a Southerner on the phone, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

I was just in Birmingham, or as you guys call it, Birmingham. And that was interesting. It was nice being down in Alabama. But do you guys have a buc EE's around there?

[Patrick]

Yeah, there's one just down the road from me right now.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, my gosh. I gotta tell you, I got a bone to pick with that frigging Buc EE's. Okay, I'm a quick trip guy through and through. And going to that BUC EE's, that was like a quick trip. Made love to a Walmart while that dumb stuffed beaver cocked, you know?

[Patrick]

I'll tell you what's distracting is that giant wall of jerky they got over there, man.

[Miles]

No, they have a giant wall of jerky they do. That's got to cost more than the whole building itself.

[Charlie Barrons]

I mean, it's. It's some spendy jerky. I. I will say I wasn't. You're impressed by some things when you walk in, but you start getting close to it and you peel the facade off and it's not as good as it looks. Okay.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Are you.

[Patrick]

Now, Bucky's is a. Bucky's is a Texas thing. You're gonna have to get you a Texas fellow on here to talk about that.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. So you're not. They just.

[Patrick]

They're just jumping over state lines and, you know, coming on over here.

[Charlie Barrons]

They're spreading like the oral herp. They are. They got one that they were saying might come up in Wisconsin. And, you know, there's a flare up every nine months. Not that I know anything about that.

[Patrick]

And I got, like, a good time to do. Sounds like a good comparison video coming up.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yup, exactly. That would be good. A comparison video of quick trip versus. But, you know. But.

[Miles]

Well, let's hear what.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay.

[Miles]

What. What's better, Charlie? Bucky's or quick.

[Charlie Barrons]

Quick trip is better than Bucky's. Okay. Buc ee's. If it was so good, did they need to put up a billboard like 7,000 miles away from the nearest Buc ee saying, nearest Buc EE's 7,000 miles away? It's just. It's hacked marketing is what it is. And nothing that's really good needs a mascot there. Do the Green Bay packers have a mascot? No. Okay. You only need a mascot if your team sucks. Unless you're the Badgers.

[Miles]

Well, that's a good question. Is Bucky Woodchuck or what is Buck.

[Charlie Barrons]

Bucky's a Bieber. I think he's a beaver.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Bucky the Beaver.

[Miles]

So why is the Badgers got Bucky.

[Charlie Barrons]

There's Bucky the Badger. And then. And. And they also ripped off the name Bucky, you know, from us. You know, you can't be ripping off a mascot. And again, you know, badgers got grandfathered into the mascot thing. And like, the bottom line here.

[Miles]

The box.

[Charlie Barrons]

The box. The box, of course, also grandfathered in. Same with the Brewers. But, you know, you don't need it for a frigging gas station. All right? And then you go into that place, they've, like, socially engineered a gas station. It's like, feel like a cattle in there. You know, I feel like I'm in a herd of cattle. You know, the way they shovel people around and the way you move like, they. They took, like, all these videos, and they had surveillance, trying to find the easiest flow for people to get in and get out. I mean, it's too perfect. You know, there's something deeper there. You know, they're looking at something there. You do, you know, and it's destroying the fabric of American society. That's what's. That's what's happening.

[Patrick]

Miles, I think Charlie is just projecting a little bit because I think he really wants to be the official mascot of Wisconsin. Projecting that Bucky's has their own mascot. And he's thinking, well, if this gas station's good enough for a mascot, you know, Charlie's, you know, Wisconsin's number one fan.

[Miles]

If Charlie was the mascot for Wisconsin, he wouldn't be able to walk into any bar because his head wouldn't fit through the door.

[Patrick]

Cheese wedge would be a little too big.

[Charlie Barrons]

That would actually be good. A Wisconsin mascot. Big old cheese.

[Miles]

No, don't. It's never. It's not gonna happen. I won't let it happen. I'll do a smear campaign against it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Patrick, you don't even like BUC EE's. Why. Why did it turn out you were calling in to give Miles crap? Now you're giving me crap. You're supposed to be on my side. I thought this was a safe space.

[Patrick]

This is part of being an engineer. You have to walk that middle line of keeping the client happy and keeping the construction crew happy.

[Miles]

Man, that is true. You did a good job there. Because at first I was ready to arm wrestle you, and now I'm, like, thinking you're a great guy. So. Hey, you are good. You are good.

[Patrick]

I appreciate that.

[Charlie Barrons]

What do you mean?

[Patrick]

Also, I had another thing to bring up.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. You got a navy ship you want, buy, sell, or trade, man, I don't.

[Patrick]

Think we can swing that right now. There's a lot of contracts and a lot of legal jargon of all this. It's above my pay grade. All right, with the Midwest nice versus Southern hospitality, okay, what's the defining line? Like, I hear you guys talk about the Midwest and Midwest nice. And I'm from the south, and I've lived this Southern hospitality. So where's the difference? I think the Midwest and the south are pretty much one in the same.

[Charlie Barrons]

Let me just say this. We're not one in the same. There might be similarities, but the whole Southern hospitality, it doesn't hold a candle to the Midwest nice. All right.

[Miles]

Exactly. Yeah. Like, yeah, yeah. Hey, it's pretty easy to have nice hospitality. Charlie. When it's sunny in 75 every day?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Have you guys ever erected the windshield wipers before a sweet snort storm of your loved ones or just kind of liked ones in the neighborhood? I think.

[Miles]

Have you ever been on your way to work, saw someone in the ditch and derailed your whole day to help pull them out? No, I don't think so.

[Charlie Barrons]

I don't think so. Have you ever been sitting in an ice shanty? Okay, and. And your buddy is outside, and he goes, flag. And I'm like, miles, don't call me that. And then I. I run out and I go, oh, my gosh, I got a northern on. And. And Miles told me that my fish was biting the hook. He. He could have gone taken that fish. But no, he alerted me, you know? Have you guys ever done any of that?

[Miles]

Ever done any of that in the South?

[Patrick]

Absolutely.

[Miles]

Really? You've shoveled your neighbor's driveway before, so hear me out.

[Patrick]

It's the same coin. It's just different sides. Y'all have these winters that are just so terrible and brutal, you don't even want to step outside because the air hurts your face. Our summers are so hot, when you walk outside in the morning, you can hear the sun. You can hear the sun cooking you alive.

[Charlie Barrons]

So what do you do?

[Miles]

Yeah, so what do you do in that blistering heat that equals our Midwest? Nice.

[Patrick]

It's the opposite of the same coin. Y'all bundle up. We shredded, we take off layers.

[Miles]

That's not.

[Charlie Barrons]

You're taking off other people's clothes. This sounds honestly, very Southern.

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm going to be honest, Charlie. I think I kind of like Southern hospitality now.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, Miles, you guys got a mix down there?

[Patrick]

What's that, Miles?

[Miles]

Nothing.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, what do you guys do in the heat? What do you do in the heat to help other people?

[Patrick]

Offer them a cold glass of sweet tea Bud.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, that's a start.

[Miles]

What else?

[Patrick]

You know, invite them inside, send them down, offer them some lunch, give them a good sandwich, ask them how their folks are doing.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay, okay.

[Patrick]

What do y'all do when it's super cold outside and see somebody shivering?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, I mean, we give them our coat.

[Miles]

You give them. Yeah, maybe give them a shot of brandy. Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, that's the internal sweater.

[Miles]

But here's the thing.

[Patrick]

Hospitality. Every hospitality has to go a step above. Because we can't give a coat to somebody in the summer. We have to bring them into our home, bring them into the luscious air conditioning that we're paying for.

[Miles]

Well, it turns Out, Charlie. That everything they do for Southern hospitality, we also do up north.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, it gets swampy up here in the summers.

[Miles]

We. We got some ice cold beers instead of sweet tea up here that we offer people. We, you know, welcome them into our home and say, hey, a walleye biting out there or no.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. And we say it's not the heat, it's the humidity.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know, we say, yeah, it's hot enough out there for your, you know, balls to stick.

[Miles]

So I mean, what I'm trying to say, Charlie, is we do all the stuff that they do, but I've never heard of in Mobile, Alabama, shoveling their neighbor's driveway.

[Charlie Barrons]

Have you ever shoveled anyone's driveway?

[Patrick]

Nah, not. Never one.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, so, yes, there is Southern hospitality, but I think Midwest. Nice. Beats it out. And also, I'm on to you, Patrick. I know when you say, bless your heart, you're really telling me to go F myself.

[Patrick]

I would never say that to you, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

You wouldn't. You would say, bless your heart.

[Patrick]

And no, I just say, oh, he sure is. He, you know, I'm sure his mama loves him.

[Miles]

Charlie, you're a guy only a mom could love.

[Charlie Barrons]

I got that. I got that. Patrick, what are you building over there on the. On the. In this. In the stockyard? What are you in. You're in the shipyard. What are you. What are you. Yeah, what are you building over there?

[Patrick]

Building a couple Navy vessels, a Coast Guard vessel and a big dry dock right now.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, nice. How's the Navy looking these days? We gonna beat China or what's going on?

[Patrick]

Right now they're looking haze gray. That's what we paint everything, haze gray.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. Because that when you get out on the sea, you know, it's largely hazy gray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now we know what the weather's like in the, you know, South China Sea. Taezy Grass.

[Patrick]

That's right.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. That's it.

[Patrick]

Miles, I got one more bone to pick with you, buddy. I'm sorry.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like it.

[Miles]

It's all right.

[Patrick]

I think there's a little bit of a conspiracy on our hands that needs to be addressed. You see, a lot of my favorite content of yours, Miles, has always been the yeti comparison. And I've noticed lately I haven't seen any more yeti comparisons coming out. So make makes the question, has Miles been bought out by big Yeti?

[Miles]

I would. I would love to be bought out by big Yeti. You know, the paycheck that could come with that. Have you seen what that company is worth? They're worth a billion dollars.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, I bet they're a billion dollars because they sell a coffee cup.

[Miles]

If I was bought out by yeti, I definitely wouldn't be sitting at this bar with Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

What? I thought we're here because we're friends.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, my gosh.

[Miles]

We would be in the Caribbean at a bar doing this.

[Charlie Barrons]

Ah, so. Well, it question. Where have the Yidi comparison videos gone?

[Miles]

Well, one, we've done a lot of products and I don't want to just. I don't want to just pick something on their website and make fun of it. You know, that's what the. That's the low hanging fruit. That's what someone who is an amateur would do. I got to make sure that I'm waiting for the fresh new stuff. Stuff that is so absurd that it basically writes itself.

[Charlie Barrons]

So.

[Patrick]

Sounds like he's waiting on that next YETI care package to show up.

[Miles]

Would love that. You could sling that stuff on Facebook. Marketplace. Marketplace for a pretty penny.

[Charlie Barrons]

Patrick, you seen any product you want Miles to do a review of?

[Patrick]

Hey, what? That YETI backpack? A little bit. A little bit out there.

[Miles]

How much is it?

[Patrick]

More than I can afford.

[Miles]

Probably $600. For a backpack?

[Charlie Barrons]

Backpack? Yeah, I mean, you gotta hand it to them. They're like, there's a bunch of rich people out there with that.

[Miles]

Like dog bowls, white coolers for white collars.

[Patrick]

You said that should be their catchphrase.

[Miles]

No, we. It's also one of those things I've been doing yeti videos now for like, at least four years that now it's to the point where I want it to be a little bit of a sweet treat when we do it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. You know, oh, here's the yeti bag.

[Miles]

Oh, it's on sale, Charlie, for only $184.

[Charlie Barrons]

Dear God. What the hell?

[Patrick]

At that price, you lose money not buying it.

[Miles]

I know you can't pass up on those kinds of savings.

[Charlie Barrons]

Clearly, it's not selling very well.

[Miles]

It's action packed. Tough enough to get dirty. Smartly designed to sort your essentials.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wait, it says tough enough to get dirty?

[Miles]

Honestly? Yeah. Oh, you can get the 35 liter. You know, I usually measure my backpacks in liters.

[Charlie Barrons]

I don't even know how big that is.

[Miles]

35 liter backpacks on sale for 200 bucks.

[Charlie Barrons]

Are they selling these to Europeans? Liters.

[Miles]

Okay, this one's waterproof. It's blaze orange.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like the blaze orange. That's. It's water.

[Patrick]

I come in handy.

[Charlie Barrons]

Dude, that's $300.

[Miles]

Are you free? Yeah, but it holds 28 liters of stuff, so. Yeah. God. If you know.

[Patrick]

Liters. In a case of beer, though.

[Miles]

Oh, God. Okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

Carry the minus the 2 divided by 4.4liters.

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Charlie Barrons]

Let's Google it.

[Miles]

We're in America. All right.

[Patrick]

Yeah, we use Freedom Units over here.

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank you.

[Miles]

Thank you.

[Charlie Barrons]

How many things are measured by liters on that ship you're designing?

[Patrick]

Exactly Zero liters worth.

[Charlie Barrons]

Zero liters worth. See that? See that?

[Miles]

I mean, that's got to be a weird thing. Don't. Do engineers use the metric system or do they. They still using the American freedom system?

[Patrick]

It depends on the project. Which is weird. You would think all one Navy would use the same thing from boat to boat. But different boats use meters. Different boats use Freedom Units.

[Charlie Barrons]

Different boats.

[Miles]

That's why engineers cost so much. They're spending their whole time converting different metrics.

[Charlie Barrons]

See? Oh, terrible again, Miles. It's not the engineer, it's the client.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Bring it all back, Charlie. That's what I'm talking about.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. I got your back, Patrick. I got your back.

[Patrick]

I appreciate it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, thanks for calling in, man. This has been really insightful. This really has been insightful, Miles. Any final questions here?

[Miles]

If you know anyone. If you know anyone who works at YETI that wants to send me a care package, I need to sling that on Facebook Marketplace because I got a kid now, so I got to pay for stuff.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah. So send Miles a free backpack. He'll sell it first.

[Miles]

I'll do a video first.

[Charlie Barrons]

I'll do a video, sell it, then it'll be on Facebook Marketplace for a whopping $200 for a 30 liter backpack.

[Patrick]

We'll know when Miles gets that YETI gig because he'll have a YETI wallet. Finally.

[Miles]

Yes, 100%. You know, I. I'll start wearing, like, gold chains and stuff.

[Patrick]

You know, $200 bill, fold.

[Miles]

I'll show up in a black Suburban. That's. The windows are all tinted. That's when you' I. I took the bag from Yeti.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know they had a $200 wallet. Good God. Have you done that video?

[Miles]

No, no.

[Charlie Barrons]

You gotta get back on.

[Patrick]

That was just my idea.

[Charlie Barrons]

See, Patrick, I think now if you do this video, Miles gotta send you a little check.

[Miles]

Actually, the.

[Patrick]

I was.

[Miles]

I was the.

[Patrick]

I mean, I was gonna ask for some royalties, you know, giving them all these good content ideas.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, this actually comes full circle. Charlie. Charlie. Or Yeti's whole motto is over engineering something. And so honestly, this sounds like the perfect marriage for you. Patrick, I think if this whole job you got now don't work out, go work at yeti. They're gonna love you.

[Patrick]

Well, yeti, if you're listening, you know, Miles will give me my phone number.

[Charlie Barrons]

They gotta go through Miles to get to Patrick. Well, Patrick, thank you calling in my guy.

[Patrick]

Absolutely. Fellas, it was a blast.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, we'll talk to you soon. Good luck on the ship.

[Patrick]

Appreciate it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Bye bye now.

[Miles]

I actually am a little disappointed, Charlie, that I've never gotten one contact from YETI ever.

[Charlie Barrons]

That well you spend. You built your career trashing them. Why do you think they're going to call you?

[Miles]

I don't know. You know, I mean, the Vikings fans spend their whole life trashing their own team, but you know, they still appreciate the fans.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's true. So are you ok? A YETI fan? Do you own any yeti stuff?

[Miles]

Well, so here's what I do own YETI stuff, but it's all the stuff that I bought for a video. Oh, yeah, like you have the receipt and then it just never gets returned. Yeah, but then it actually has come in handy because we've used it for future videos.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, okay. But you've never actually used the yeti stuff.

[Miles]

I mean, I have buddies that have yetis.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay.

[Miles]

But yeah, I actually don't own a Yeti cooler.

[Charlie Barrons]

I own. I own a bunch of the yeti cups. Because people send them to you for gift.

[Miles]

You got it as a gift.

[Charlie Barrons]

A guy as a gift.

[Miles]

Yeah, no, I have a lunchbox, I have a bottle opener, a ice bucket. So if you want to do the ice bucket challenge at any point, let me know. I got one. Most expensive ice bucket challenge you can do. All right, should we take another caller?

[Charlie Barrons]

Let's do it. Miles, it's winter and people are driving. And we know that in winter accidents happen when you're driving. Some people don't know the rules of the road. They don't. They don't know in the winter you drive in the Midwest, you got to drive slow enough so the person in the passenger seat can filet a wallet without getting an accidental circumcision. They don't know that. And sometimes they go ass over tea kettle into a ditch in their car.

[Miles]

Yeah, I've seen it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I haven't had slowed down traffic, this, that, but you can get hurt bad.

[Miles]

True. And what do you do if you're in that situation?

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank you for asking, Miles. You call Nicolet, you do, because that beard, that beard will show you the way.

[Miles]

You know, when you're in a tight spot like that, you just, your brain should instantly go call Nicola.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, because you've been through enough. The jaws of life pulled you out of that wreck and Nicolay is there for your personal injury situation. They'll get that money from that greedy insurance company. You know they'll do it.

[Miles]

So guys, if you're injured this winter, make sure you call nicolay law at 1-855-nicolay or visit nicolette.com and maybe you'll get Nicolaid. Cut that up, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Hi.

[Miles]

What's your New Year's resolution?

[Charlie Barrons]

My. My New Year's resolution is to not take life too seriously. To relax a little more. And you know how I like to relax my house?

[Miles]

With an ice cold glass of tippy cow. I would say. Yeah. I actually got you a New Year's present.

[Charlie Barrons]

A New Year's present?

[Miles]

Yes.

[Charlie Barrons]

What is it, mom? Is it this?

[Miles]

Just look in your lap.

[Charlie Barrons]

It's this T shirt you put on my lap.

[Miles]

What does it say, Charlie?

[Charlie Barrons]

Tip, tip of glass. Not tip a glass, not a cow. Oh, that is so awesome, Miles. Yeah, and you got it just in my size xl.

[Miles]

What is it?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, you think I've been getting caked up in this new year?

[Miles]

Well I figured that you're gonna start lifting weights after you lost me in armrest.

[Charlie Barrons]

Miles, you cheated.

[Miles]

Anyways guys, if you like that shirt we got them for sale at old you bet you.com you can get yourself a nice tip of glass, not a cow. It's a great life lesson too. Great motto.

[Charlie Barrons]

It is a great motto. Thank you for the T shirt.

[Miles]

Save cows drink Tippy Cow.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. We'll tip it on back, Miles. To the Tippy Cow.

[Miles]

Cheers.

[Charlie Barrons]

Moo.

[Miles]

Guys, we have Jack from Aberdeen, South Dakota and he says that he's in a little bit of a predicament. His wife doesn't want him to go ice fishing without her and he doesn't know what to do. Is that true, Jack?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well Jack, all you gotta do is take her with you. What's the problem?

[Jack]

Well, she's a bougie woman, so the old 5 gallon bucket doesn't really work for her. Yeah, I bought the old four person pop up sled, but that's still not adequate. She's more of an ice castle kind of gal.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay, Ice castle.

[Jack]

Yeah, but she doesn't want me to spend that ice castle money, if you.

[Miles]

Know what I mean.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh. So we got a little predicament. She wants an ice castle, but on a beer budget money. Light beer budget money.

[Miles]

We're not talking craft beer budget money.

[Charlie Barrons]

30 bucks.

[Jack]

Law White type of money.

[Miles]

There you go. I like that.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, so you got it.

[Patrick]

So.

[Miles]

Well, before we get into that.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Why does she want to go ice fishing with you? And why. You know, it's. Why doesn't she just sit on a bucket? I know she's bougie, but she's.

[Jack]

We do everything together kind of. Kind of marriage, if that makes sense.

[Miles]

That's great. We.

[Jack]

We. What I do, she does what she does. I could have do, if that's kind of picking up what I'm throwing down.

[Charlie Barrons]

Do you like this aspect, Jack?

[Jack]

It's not too bad. It has its ups and downs, for sure.

[Charlie Barrons]

It's not too bad.

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Charlie Barrons]

Anytime you hit a falsetto in the eye, it's not so bad. I think that, you know, maybe.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's all right.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like it.

[Miles]

Oh, I feel good.

[Jack]

You guys know what I mean?

[Miles]

When you married her, did you know that she was bougie?

[Jack]

So I did to a certain extent. So a little backstory. I had to pull a Charlie, and I had to get divorced once. My second marriage.

[Charlie Barrons]

First of all, Jack, we can call pulling a Jack. All right. Okay. We don't need to. We don't need to say pulling a Charlie. A lot of people get divorced 50% if you look at the numbers. So we could call it pulling a Tony, a Larry, a Joe, a Frank, you know.

[Jack]

So this one, you know, we kind of.

[Miles]

I don't think you should address her when she's around as this one, by the way. It's just a little tip for you.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. My latest wife.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jack]

Yeah. Working on my second divorce wife.

[Miles]

He's on the. He thinks marriage is just trial and error.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Find one day you like or give away after your stuff.

[Jack]

Yeah, I really like this one. So this is all I got to deal with. It's not a bad deal.

[Miles]

No.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, so the predicament is you need an ice castle on a budget. And maybe what happens if you make an ice castle? You do everything she asks, and yet she still doesn't want to come. Are you allowed to still go ice fishing in that scenario?

[Jack]

I think. I think I'm going to pull a Jack. Then you can have another divorce. No, I'm just kidding. No, I try to convince her to get a bigger pop up. I mean, you see those guys that put the. The Military bunks in there so you can sleep the nice heaters. Nice insulated. Just. She's just not quite 100. Sold. So I needed your guys's help to kind of ease her into it. I think once she experiences it, catches that first walleye, that first big perch, I think she'll be hook. I just got to get her in there.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's. Yeah. Okay. Well, Charlie, if you were going to. If you were gonna do an ice castle on a light beer budget, what would you do?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, I'd be looking for existing structures that you can get for cheap. And just off the top of the dome, cheap existing structure with a hole in the bottom. Porta potty. Okay, now hear me out. Hear me out. Yeah, just one porta pot. That's just a porta potty on the lake. That's not going to. That's not going to fly in this scenario. But let's say you get four porta pots for the cost of one. Okay? You bolt them together now. Now it's not just four Porta pies bolted together. Each person gets their own private fishing suite.

[Miles]

Yes. It's all in the marketing. Right. It's a Airbnb listing. It's not small, it's quaint.

[Charlie Barrons]

Airbnb, exactly. Yes. And there is already a toilet there, which means there's already a hole in this situation. So you just fish right out of the hole and it's. It's. It's got everything you need, all the amenities, like. Help me out, Miles, what are the amenities?

[Miles]

Well, so not only is it a fishing hole, you also have a built in seat.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's true.

[Miles]

And those things are comfortable. I've sat on a toilet seat for at least 45 minutes.

[Charlie Barrons]

Minutes.

[Miles]

And still been comfortable. Your legs may fall asleep, but that's all part of the experience.

[Charlie Barrons]

So you can fish out of your sitting hole, is that what you're saying?

[Miles]

If you wanted.

[Charlie Barrons]

I mean, just don't set the hook too hard. You might catch a little more than you bargained for, but. Yeah. And then. Oh, in the urinal where you pee, just put some ice in there and then you got coolers. Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. It's like a beer bucket, but a beer urinal.

[Charlie Barrons]

Exactly.

[Miles]

And plug the hole with a little rag and then put some ice in there or some snow. You're right out there. Then you got a whole, like, cooler slash fridge of beer right there inside.

[Charlie Barrons]

This is feeling cheap and bougie and in the soap dispenser, because if you're lucky enough to get one of those, just wash that out, put some M&M's in there. So now you got lemon M dispensers. Yeah.

[Miles]

If she gets hungry. Well, she also might not get hungry because of the smell. So now you're saving money on snacks and food and she isn't. You can cross that one off the list.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, well, there. There you have it. And then you just drill a couple skis to the bottom of it, and that'll help you pull it right across the ice.

[Miles]

Yeah. And she doesn't have to go outside and go to the bathroom or go in the truck and go to a public place to go. You got a bathroom right in there.

[Charlie Barrons]

Right. One of the porta pots you. You maintain as a porta pot. So, I mean, it's. It a ice palace with half bath.

[Jack]

Yeah, I like that. I like that.

[Miles]

And if, you know, like an ice castle once in a while, they'll have TVs and stuff, so she's probably looking for some entertainment.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

There is a ton of graffiti on the inside of these porta Johns.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, brilliant.

[Miles]

That'll keep you busy for an hour reading all of the. Call this number for a good time, and then. Then she can call the number and have a good time.

[Charlie Barrons]

Right, right. Yeah. I mean, if. If you're not giving her. You just better make sure you're giving her a good time before she goes into that one stall.

[Jack]

But, you know, four porta potties tied together. There'll be a good time.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I haven't met anyone that hasn't had a good time in four porta potties.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, me either.

[Jack]

Four handicap ones, too. Now you're talking.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah. You got room to spread out.

[Miles]

You could. You could put a cot in there.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What would we call it, Charlie?

[Charlie Barrons]

Port. A popup. Yeah, Port a popup. Yeah.

[Miles]

There you go.

[Jack]

I like that. Think that. Catch me some walleye.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, you'll get some walleye. Yeah. You might also get divorced, but you're definitely getting a walleye.

[Jack]

Yeah, that's. That's what I like to hear. At least there's some walleye in the. In the future. Possibly.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Yep, yep.

[Miles]

And the way that you market it before the divorce.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes.

[Miles]

It's not four porta potties stuck together, Charlie. It's a. It's a portable experience.

[Charlie Barrons]

It's a port. Portable experience. Wow. Miles.

[Miles]

It's not graffiti on the wall. It's a art. It's art.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not. It's not old. It's upcycled.

[Jack]

That'S in upcycle.

[Levi]

Reclaim.

[Miles]

Reclaimed.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, the reclaimed Porta Pop Up. I like it.

[Jack]

Boy, you guys might have something going here.

[Charlie Barrons]

I think we do. Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. Porta Pot. Porta Pop up is now trademarked, though, so for anyone listening.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, sorry. And Porta Potties. Yeah, yeah, Porta Potties. A lot of times they're really easy to come by. Like, you'd be surprised. You go on Craigslist, they're selling them other. Otherwise, you just go to a construction site with your truck and no one questions you. If you're putting a Porta Potty in the back of the truck, you know, they're like, why would they do that? They must be maintenance.

[Miles]

Yeah, they're like, there's no. No one would steal a Porta Potty in their right mind.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, no. So you're gonna be completely fine. You might be able to do this for free. Honestly, all you need is a good hose.

[Jack]

I got a couple of those.

[Charlie Barrons]

Good, good, good.

[Miles]

Perfect.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Jack]

Good deal. Now, what about insulating the old Porta Potties? We've all started them. When it's cold and there's a little bit of a breeze.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Jack]

Keep your pants on first off, I guess. But to insulate it, what would you do?

[Miles]

Spray foam the. Out of it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yep. Smart.

[Miles]

I know some guys in their hunting van, they bought an old van, gutted the inside, and they literally took spray foam out of a can and did the whole inside. And I tell you what, it gets toasty in there.

[Charlie Barrons]

Toasty. Yeah. And then you gotta. That takes care of the smell, too. You can just inhale those fumes.

[Miles]

Oh, that. This actually probably would work.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I would get rid of the smell, at least initially.

[Miles]

I mean, the. The insulating it, and it would be kind of cozy in there.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, yeah, you could even. And if you wanted to. The only problem is that would get rid of the graffiti.

[Miles]

Well, take pictures of the graffiti before you spray foam, then frame them and put them on the wall.

[Charlie Barrons]

Smart, smart. And if you wanted to hide the spray foam, you know, you could do a little wood paneling over it, because that would be really nice. You wouldn't even know you're sitting on Porta Pot at that point.

[Jack]

I tell you what, that would now use just one door, have all four doors still operable.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, all four doors opera.

[Miles]

You're want to cut actually some doors open.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Holes in the side. I actually. You wouldn't even need a buddy heater in this thing because it's already got a smokestack in it. Oh, yeah, you just build a fire in one of the, you know, one of the little contraptions where the seat is, and you put the seat down, just, you know, and then you lift it up to stoke it, and all the smoke goes out the top.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, that's not that. That it's either gonna work out real good or the entire family's gonna die of carbon monoxide poisoning, but. True, but what's the stack?

[Jack]

You could also cook your freshly caught perch and walleye.

[Miles]

That is true.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Jack]

Keep the game waring off your tail, you know?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, shoot, if that's the case, then one of the porta pots. Don't even empty them out. That's good. Fire starter down there. Just dry it out.

[Jack]

Oh, God.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Jack]

All the blue smoke.

[Miles]

It's a boy.

[Jack]

Oh, boy.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

God. Weirdo guys with the porta pop ups doing a gender reveal party out on the ice.

[Jack]

Another boy.

[Charlie Barrons]

Every. Every time you go, you get free cigars.

[Miles]

He's like, God, they gotta. They gotta. They gotta have eight kids under eight. Every year they got a gender reveal party over there.

[Jack]

It's that ice check. It gets the motions going.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, that would be cocky. You do the deed, and then you just start up a fire in there with the blue smoke. You're like, I know it's gonna be.

[Charlie Barrons]

I was deep.

[Miles]

Yeah, I was in the right. Yeah, I was in the right position.

[Jack]

She was on top.

[Miles]

I just can't think of a more romantic place, you know? Yeah, yeah. Imagine explaining that. So, yeah, you were conceived and also born in a porta pop up standing.

[Jack]

Up with a fish on the hook.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. I. I can't wait for you to go. Go forward with this. Send us a picture when it's all done, all right.

[Jack]

Oh, I'm gonna have to. I got a couple porta potties floating around. I'm sure I can find out.

[Charlie Barrons]

Good.

[Jack]

Send them to you guys. Guys.

[Charlie Barrons]

Good. Yeah.

[Jack]

Get you guys out here to go fishing, maybe I'll have you guys fishing one too.

[Miles]

Yeah, well, why don't you test it out first?

[Patrick]

All right.

[Miles]

We don't want to tamper.

[Jack]

The wife approves.

[Miles]

We want an honest review. We don't want to tamper with, you know, the R and D.

[Jack]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, we're glad that we could help you out here and good luck and hope you catch some fish.

[Jack]

Oh, thank you, fellows, very much.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, well, we'll talk to you soon. Okay.

[Jack]

All right, talk to you later.

[Charlie Barrons]

Bye bye now. Ah, yeah, that was good. I mean, seriously, I think honestly, with the amount of porta Potties that exist in this world, there's no shortage of raw materials and this could be a mass produced thing. Mouse, if this don't work work out for us, maybe we should get in the porta pop up business, you know?

[Miles]

I agree. Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. We'll see you next one. And remember, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

What? Tip your bartender.

[Miles]

Love you guys.

[Levi]

Bye.