Bellied Up Podcast Episode #155: NFL Mascot Wants to Be a Lawyer
Release Date: June 12, 2025
Hosts: Miles (You Betcha Guy) & Charlie Berens
Location: Frank's Lounge, Fargo, North Dakota

1. Frank's Lounge: A Nostalgic Dive into History (00:00 - 03:43)

The episode kicks off with Miles and Charlie sharing the rich history of Frank's Lounge, the current setting for their podcast recording.

• Frank's Lounge Origins:

  • Charlie (00:20): "It used to be, back in the 1980s, a club for gentlemen."
  • Miles (00:27): Mentions the original name, "The Pussycat Lounge," and a prominent pink kitty neon sign that’s still present today.

• Community Relations:

  • Charlie (01:11): "The Catholic Church across the street requested the name change to Frank's Lounge, showing respect without legal confrontation."

2. The Mini Donuts Debate: Hole vs. Hole (03:00 - 05:02)

A light-hearted discussion ensues about the difference between mini donuts and donut holes.

• Misunderstanding Clarified:

  • Charlie (02:15): Highlights the confusion between donut holes and mini donuts.
  • Miles (05:02): "Donut holes are what's left when the middle of the donut is taken out."

• Taste Test:

  • Miles (03:00): "These are the mini donuts. Cheers to the first time I have mini donuts at a bar."
  • Charlie (03:41): "Very crispy on the outside, but melts in your mouth after that first layer."

3. Happiness: Beyond Money (03:43 - 08:21)

Jared’s question prompts Miles and Charlie to explore what truly brings them happiness beyond financial means.

• Charlie on Happiness:

  • Charlie (04:00): "Donuts, dude."
  • Miles (05:02): Describes the joy of finding a full beer after thinking it’s almost finished.

• Personal Joys:

  • Charlie (06:03): Shares his happiness from organizing and decluttering his paint storage and renovating a space at home.
  • Miles (07:51): Talks about the bliss of planning vacations in advance, making them feel "free."

4. Caller Spotlight: Joy and Her Camo-Wearing Husband (10:04 - 26:50)

Joy calls in with a humorous and relatable dilemma about her husband's obsession with camouflage attire, making it difficult for her to locate him.

• Joy’s Dilemma:

  • Joy (12:05): "I can't even find him in my own house or see him anywhere..."
  • Charlie (15:22): "Because he's wearing camo, obviously."

• Advice and Banter:

  • Miles (16:13): Suggests blending camo patterns to counteract her husband's camouflage.
  • Charlie (26:23): "They’re in his closet behind all the camo, is it?"

• Marriage Anecdotes:

  • Joy (17:08): Celebrates her second anniversary with a simple dinner, hinting at the humorous challenges in her marriage.
  • Miles (19:18): Discusses the woes of handling excessive Amazon purchases, tying it back to Joy's story.

5. Guest Feature: Calvin, the NFL Mascot Considering Law School (31:01 - 58:02)

Calvin joins the podcast to discuss his experiences as a professional NFL mascot and his contemplation of pursuing a career in law.

• Calvin’s Background:

  • Calvin (31:14): "I was a professional mascot in the National Football League."
  • Reveals his tenure with the Louisville Cardinals and mentions being under an NDA.

• The Life of a Mascot:

  • Calvin (35:32): "Don't talk as a mascot. Especially when you see someone you know."
  • Shares unique challenges, like developing personal relationships within the mascot suit.

• Transitioning Careers:

  • Calvin (42:57): "I'm really trying to figure out here. If I keep on doing this mascot thing or go to law school."
  • Charlie (43:15): "The way technology's advancing, robots can do the law school stuff."

• Mascot Insights:

  • Calvin (53:01): "The top three rules of being a professional mascot? Silence, be approachable, and have fun."
  • Discussion on Mascot Etiquette:
    • Miles (54:00): Asks about appropriate interactions with mascots.
    • Calvin (54:00): "Kids used to just come up to you and just, like, punch you."

• Future of Mascots:

  • Calvin (51:58): Expresses interest in potentially becoming a high-profile mascot with improved skills.
  • Charlie (56:35): "Good luck with your future endeavors. Do them both; you only live once."

6. Humorous Interludes and Banter (Throughout the Episode)

Throughout the episode, Miles and Charlie engage in playful banter, humorously critiquing aspects like rental car companies, sharing exaggerated anecdotes, and interacting with callers in a comedic fashion.

• Rental Car Rants:

  • Charlie (30:37): "What's wrong with rental car companies?"
  • Miles (29:34): Suggests dedicating an entire episode to their ineptitudes.

• Mascot and Furry Conspiracy Theories:

  • Charlie (58:00): "I'm sending Miles some bird savers for his window."
  • Speculates humorously about mascots moonlighting as furries.

7. Closing Remarks and Final Exchanges (58:02 - 64:14)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and callers share final jokes and light-hearted comments, maintaining the comedic spirit of the show.

• Final Jokes:

  • Charlie (60:36): Invites the Pussycat mascot to join the conversation, leading to humorous criticisms of the mascot’s dance moves.
  • Miles (62:37): "He attempted to twerk as well, but his ass was kind of like just looks like a two by four."

• Goodbyes:

  • Calvin (64:03): "Hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye, now."
  • Hosts bid farewell with additional jokes about the ongoing antics at Frank's Lounge.

Notable Quotes with Attribution and Timestamps

• Charlie (00:33): "How cool was that old pink kitty sign at Frank's Lounge?"
• Charlie (04:00): "Donuts, dude."
• Miles (05:02): "It's the best feeling to come back and find a full beer waiting for you."
• Joy (12:05): "I can't even find him in my own house or see him anywhere."
• Calvin (31:14): "I was a professional mascot in the National Football League."
• Calvin (53:01): "The top three rules of being a professional mascot? Silence, be approachable, and have fun."
• Charlie (43:15): "The way technology's advancing, robots can do the law school stuff."

Key Takeaways

• Historical Appreciation: The hosts provide an engaging look into Frank's Lounge's past, setting a nostalgic tone for the episode.

• Humorous Exchanges: From mini donuts debates to playful jabs at each other's lifestyles, the episode is rich with humor and camaraderie.

• Relatable Callers: Joy's struggle with her camouflaged husband and Calvin's unique career path offer listeners both laughs and moments of connection.

• Insightful Guest Conversation: Calvin's insights into the life of a professional mascot and his career crossroads add depth to the comedic narrative.

This episode of Bellied Up masterfully blends humor, personal stories, and unique guest insights, making it a memorable listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.