Bellied Up Podcast – Episode 184: "Secrets of The Mennonite Mafia"

Hosts: Charlie Berens & Myles the You Betcha Guy
Date: January 22, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Charlie and Myles belly up at their favorite small-town bar for wide-ranging, laughter-filled discussions, heartfelt Midwest banter, and—most notably—a revealing live caller segment that delves into the little-known world of the Mennonite Mafia in Mexico. With their trademark comedic chemistry, the hosts riff on surprise parties, guilt-fueled Midwestern traditions, plus tales of missions, cartels, and love. Real callers with real (and sometimes wild) stories make this episode a memorable ride.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Midwest Surprise Parties & Guilt (00:00–10:47)

• Midwest Surprise Parties: Charlie wonders about the joy of having a surprise birthday party—a new, culturally nuanced tradition for Midwesterners resistant to surprises.
  • "I want it to be a Midwest surprise party." (A, 01:32)
• Economic Anxiety: The group jokes about how even at a surprise party, a true Midwesterner is worried about who's footing the bill.
  • Miles: "You want to reassure them that their parents paid for the beer tonight, or he'll be in a 'I'm paying for this funk' for at least an hour." (B, 02:35)
  • Charlie: "There’s only ten minutes of usable joy at this surprise party." (A, 03:41)
• Repayment Rituals: At a Midwestern get-together, guests circle around sharing what they contributed, creating an elaborate system of guilt, repayment, and social accounting.
• Game Night as Therapy: Gambling at the party is proposed as a way to win back your outlay—“Nothing better than going on a bachelor party to a casino… and then you start winning, and the whole trip’s paid for.” (A, 05:24)
• Surprise Party—Good or Bad: Surprise parties can go wrong as easily as they go right, with Charlie joking about haunted houses and surprise colonoscopies. (07:00+)

Notable Quotes

• “Be careful what you wish for. In fact, Miles—surprise: Charlie, you have to have a colonoscopy!” (B, 08:27)
• “Comedy and horror are the same—both rely on surprise.” (A, 07:57)

2. Underrated Comedy Videos & Creative Motivation (10:47–13:15)

• Underrated Work: The hosts reflect on viral hits vs. personal favorites—“It’s a great way to deal with a video flopping, just call it underrated.” (B, 09:59)
• Creative Balance: Sometimes they just make videos for themselves, not the algorithm. “Every once in a while, you just gotta do a video for you.” (B, 10:38)
• *Plug for "Worst Fishing Show” and Midwest ASMR, which didn’t get their due on release.

3. Caller Segment 1: “Lee” and the Mennonite Mafia in Mexico (14:40–49:03)

Background

“Lee,” a pseudonymous caller from Texas with mission work experience across China, Cambodia, and Mexico, reveals the hidden dynamics of Mennonite communities in cartel-controlled regions.

Discussion Highlights

• Mennonite-Cartel Symbiosis (16:06–18:33):

  • Mennonites in Mexico, despite their plain-living reputation, are wealthy farm owners.
  • Cartels exploit this, using Mennonites for money laundering and smuggling goods (guns, equipment) across the US-Mexico border.
  • “Nobody questions Mennonites. They buy farm equipment, guns, and smuggle them in—no one checks because they're Mennonites.” (C, 17:56)
  • Cartel fronts and “borrowing” money—narcos meets Ozark-style operations.
  • “This is like Narcos and Ozarks combined.” (A, 17:56)

• Life in Cartel Country (19:30+):

  • Missionaries must coordinate with local cartel leaders for safety—sometimes being turned away for security reasons.

• Socioeconomic Impact (22:12+):

  • Cartel reliance on local indigenous people for poppy/weed growing has declined with fentanyl, slightly improving local conditions.
  • “Now with fentanyl, [the cartel] just leaves [the natives] alone.” (C, 23:14)

• Cultural Gaps & Realities:

  • Hosts joke about imagining blinged-out Mennonites—“Tractors with spinner rims and underglow… Gucci light blue denim shirts!” (B, 18:36; A, 19:12)
  • Lee clarifies: “We don’t interact much with Mennonites, but you see evidence—ginormous farms, huge houses.” (C, 23:58)

• Missionary Experience in China (25:13+):

  • Chinese religious restrictions; “illegal now to have anyone under 18 in church.”
  • Lee’s “Chinese name” and naming rituals discussed lightheartedly.

Notable Quotes

• “They make a profit, pay the cartel back, and now the cartel has clean money to spend up here.” (C, 18:06)
• “If we pitched this show, people would say it’s too unrealistic!” (A, 24:47)

Memorable Moments

• Lee proving he’s “white as can be” despite his Chinese name and sharing how he got more compliments on his looks in Asia than ever in the US. (29:35)
• Extended, lighthearted digression about giving/receiving names in China: “I would have to refer you to my mission inspector. His Chinese name actually means Thunder and Lightning—we’re all jealous.” (C, 31:33)

4. Midwest Dating, Missions, and Fogo de Chao—the Life of Lee (34:32–59:00)

• Lee as a Modern Renaissance Man:

  • Contractor, missionary, piano player, and a “homeschool crazy” Texan hunting for a girlfriend (preferably not a redhead, though he later backtracks).
  • “If you want to get in contact with Lee…look for the guy in Texas wearing boots, that’s a Cowboys fan, between 6 foot and 6 foot one.” (A, 59:54)

• Missionary Motives and Religious Banter:

  • The hosts, both Catholic, probe Lee on Protestant-Catholic assurance and the missionary “completion percentage.”
  • “What’s your conversion ratio? …You gotta know, first ballot.” (A, 41:05)
  • Playful theological sparring on guilt, purgatory, and confession.
    • “We’re hanging on by a thread of guilt.” (A, 43:57)
  • Singing is (jokingly) posited as the real test for entry into heaven.

• Lee’s Dating Adventures:

  • Takes girls to Dallas orchestras and Fogo de Chao for fancy but platonic evenings.
  • “I love playing my piano. I love working. Those are two pretty good hobbies.” (C, 50:26)
  • Looking for “homeschool crazy,” outdoor-loving, tough gals who also appreciate chivalry.
  • Humorous dissection of date logistics, measuring height, and whether a guy should always pay: “Always.” (C, 50:44)

Notable Quotes

• "If my getting into heaven depends on my singing, I'll be the first one going to hell." (C, 47:30)
• "Guilt is what's saving this world right now. We're hanging on by a thread of guilt.” (A, 43:57)
• “Turn those mission trips into a missionary trip.” (B, 59:15)

5. Listener Calls: Boats, Relationships, and Midwest Geography (66:28–84:58)

Alex from Missouri (67:01+)

• Young mechanic/mower, in a long-distance relationship with a Minnesota gal.
• Main complaint: his girlfriend likes very, very long walks—“It’s like 8 miles of walking.” (D, 69:07)
• Resolved by compromise: “I'll let her go walk around for a minute and then join her halfway so I gotta walk four or five miles, not eight to ten.” (D, 69:39)

For Sale Segment

• Alex is selling a 14-foot camoed John boat, trailer included—fixing it up himself.
  • “Would you trade it for an engagement ring?” (A, 77:16)
  • “No, but her dad gave me a boat with a 20 HP motor—thing scoots.” (D, 78:45)

Wider Midwest Geographic Debate

• Is Missouri in the Midwest? Verdict from the hosts: Yes, but still catching some ribbing for not fishing enough. (72:22)

Mom Shout-Outs and Casey Anthony Tangent (74:57–75:22)

• Warm tributes to mothers everywhere, with the caveat: “Shout out to all the moms out there, except Casey Anthony.” (B, 75:06)
• The group jokes about legal liabilities: “Let’s throw in an allegedly there, just so we don’t get sued.” (A, 75:27)

Tech and Banter

• Extended riff on proper texting etiquette, slow replies, and how Charlie “sets the bar low so anytime he texts before that it’s a surprise.” (D, 84:00)

6. Mid-Episode Local Sponsor Highlight: Flannel Can Sparkling Water (62:41–66:25)

• Guest: Russell from Nicolet Law, now branching into the “flannel can” sparkling water game.
• Taste test on-air: “This tastes like a diet creamsicle!” (A, 63:45)
• All flavors produced/canned in Wisconsin—“Everything is Midwest focused, even the can.” (B, 64:45)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Midwest Party Economics:
  "This is costing me everywhere I look." (A, 02:06)
• On Missionary Motivation:
  "You can't put a price on heaven. ...But if you could, it would be whatever you're paying for these trips." (B, 36:37)
• On Fogo de Chao:
  "That’s a crazy place for a first date—you’re just getting the meat sweats on date number one." (B, 52:04)
• On Confession and Guilt:
  “If we just come up with something called confession, we can just do whatever we want and go to confession later.” (B, 43:24)
• On Getting Into Heaven by Singing:
  “Where we come from, you get into heaven by going to church and mumbling the songs.” (B, 47:37)
• On Relationship Dealbreakers:
  “I'm not big on red hair because the last... she had red hair and it kind of sucked.” (C, 57:06)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Midwest Surprise Party Dissection: 00:00–05:50
• Money, Guilt & Midwest Traditions: 02:32–04:30
• Casino Night & Winning Back Party Funds: 05:09–06:16
• Caller Lee & the Mennonite Mafia: 14:40–24:19
• Mennonites, Cartels & Missions: 16:06–23:10
• Banter on Names, Cultures, and Panda Express: 25:13–33:44
• Missionary Motives & Catholic-Protestant Banter: 36:06–47:00
• Lee’s Dating Life & Fogo de Chao: 50:26–54:40
• ‘For Sale’ / Listener Marketplace: 77:04–78:45

Episode Tone & Feel

This installment combines authentic Midwest warmth, playful self-deprecation, and at times surprisingly deep insight. Charlie and Myles’ rapport remains irrepressibly silly, but their ability to host genuine, winding conversations with real callers gives the episode a homey and unpredictable appeal.

Listeners are treated to the absurd (Mennonite cartels, surprise colonoscopies), the heartfelt (missionary stories, dating woes), the practical (boats for sale, recipes for leftover guilt), and plenty of that singular “belly up” bar-table camaraderie.

Summary for the Uninitiated:
Whether you’re here for Midwestern comedy or genuine stranger-than-fiction stories, this episode delivers. From surprise parties to surprise mafias, from faith to flannel cans, Charlie and Myles create a welcoming space for laughter, confession, and maybe a little redemption (Catholic or otherwise).

Skip the ads, not the stories. Until next week, don’t forget—tip your bartender!