Bellied Up Podcast Ep. 173 — The Most Terrifying Midwest Haunted House

Hosts: You Betcha Guy (Myles) & Charlie Berens
Date: October 30, 2025
Location: Vic’s Bar & Grill, Moorhead, Minnesota

Overview

This Halloween-themed episode finds Charlie and Miles bellying up at Vic’s in Moorhead, MN, sharing laughs with the lunch crowd and fielding live calls from listeners. The episode launches with a hilarious riff on what a "truly terrifying" Midwest haunted house would look like, before shifting into entertaining and heartfelt caller stories—one about stealing from a wishing well in rough times, and another about the etiquette of letting a father-in-law grill on your own flat-top.

Main Segments & Highlights

1. Live from Vic’s: Setting the Scene & Midwest Haunts

(00:26—06:03)

• Bar Atmosphere: The hosts paint a vivid scene at Vic’s—a spot where “gentlemen above their 70s hold court” (01:27) and the lunch crowd is in full swing. Jokes about small-town quirks, speakerphone etiquette, and stories about their dads set the Midwestern mood.
• Halloween Spirit:
  • Charlie: “Halloween is in the air.” (00:26)
  • Myles admits he’s just noticing, pivoting to ask about local college experiences and making a classic "More head" joke (00:59).
• The “Midwest Haunted House” Bit:
  • The hosts brainstorm terrifyingly mundane “Midwest” challenges for a haunted house, riffing on region-specific pet peeves:
    • No WD40 for squeaky doors (04:04)
    • Junk drawers inexplicably emptied of useful crap (04:12)
    • All the deer mounts are does—with no antlers (06:48)
    • A fridge with hot dish ingredients, but everything is separated (08:27)
    • The horror of the “Midwest Goodbye” extended to nightmarish lengths (09:16)
    • Pull tab machines that never pay out, fishing lakes with no fish, no beer offered at the end
  • Quote:
    “You walk into a room and they just say bye, and then they walk out of the room. Don’t offer you a beer.” — Myles (05:24)

2. Caller #1 — Sophia’s “Sticky Bandit” Gas Money Heist

(15:54—38:21)

Key Points & Moments

• Sophia Calls In: She describes being broke after college, needing gas money for a drive between Colorado and Iowa. Spotting a dry casino fountain, she scooped out $20 in coins (“wishing well diving”)—boyfriend waiting outside getaway-car style (16:36—19:02).

• Making It Right:

  • Later, after landing a job, Sophia returns to the casino, converts $20 back into coins, only to find the fountain gone. She throws the money into a nearby planter instead:
    “...we still gotta make it right somehow... So we just started throwing the coins into the woods [planter] outside.” (21:43)
  • Charlie: “So from a distance... ‘Hey look at these meth heads throwing change in the flower pots!’” (22:25)

• Job & Relationship:

  • Sophia now works in digital marketing for a construction firm (22:52); her “accomplice” boyfriend is now training to be a master electrician (33:14).
  • They’re building a house, planning a future wedding—Myles jokes about a wishing well unity ceremony (34:45).

• Delinquent Days: Sophia’s history includes minor Walmart theft (“nail polish, mattress toppers"), sleepovers in rest stops, and Cookie Monster/hamburger pajama anecdotes (30:39—31:40).

  • Miles: “Do you own a pair of Cookie Monster pajamas?”
  • Sophia: “I don’t know, but my boyfriend has some hamburger ones...” (31:34)

• Redemption Arc: Sophia now sees herself as a “job creator,” thanks to stricter store security, and embraces her settled-down lifestyle despite missing the thrill of her wild years.

  • “You’ve hung on with us too long, the puns are coming out.” — Charlie (36:39)
  • “You settling down and getting your life together is bad podcasting, Sophia, come on.” — Myles (31:52)

3. Caller #2 — The Father-in-Law Grill-Off

(43:05—62:28)

Key Story Beats

• Father-in-law Visits:

  • The guest recounts his discomfort as his rarely-seen father-in-law insists on grilling steaks, using his new flat-top grill for the first time (43:16)
  • Father-in-law “butchers” the steaks—cuts off all the fat, insists on only salt and pepper, keeps the lid down during cooking (45:34)
  • Myles draws an analogy: “Him using your grill is a lot like you dating his daughter...” (44:48)
  • The caller is left nervously supervising (“didn’t even get to relax... my mind’s just racing”). (46:53)

• Jalapeño Poppers vs. Steaks:

  • Caller’s air-fried jalapeño poppers steal the show, making up for the lackluster steaks (47:17)

• Midwestern Family Dynamics:

  • The group jokes about the politics of holiday gifts from multiple father-figures, and the logistics of huge North Dakota distances (48:27, 55:20).

• Best Home Inspector Stories:

  • The caller is a home inspector; tells tales of weird finds (59:03):
    • A jawbone in a crawl space—“I thought maybe it was human. Turned out I think it was like a cow or deer...” (58:43)
    • A disconnected sewer emptying straight into a crawl space (59:44)
  • Miles: “Did you do the John Taffer? Did you say ‘shut it down’?” (59:57)
  • Home inspection horror leads to a classic Bellied Up moral: “A little screw can go a long way.” (62:08)

4. Midwestern Tangents, Jokes & Running Gags

Throughout

• Escape Room Haunted House:
  • Show closes with a return to the haunted house theme, joking about an escape room that gives cash prizes, or is secretly rigged to watch families implode under pressure (68:15).
  • “People might even pay to do that—steal from you.” — Charlie (67:44)
• Regional Humor:
  • The “Midwest Goodbye from hell” (long, circuitous exit conversations), ticker-tape discussions on “hunky dory” vs. “honky dory,” North Dakota’s never-ending highway, and the siren song of “Menards parking lot steaks.”
• Myles’ $15,000 Car Mishap:
  • Story of crashing his truck into a warehouse support beam (63:16):
  • “I felt like such a moron driving around with duct tape on my bumper... That’s who I am now.” (65:55)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On haunted Midwest houses:
  “Instead of a guy with a chainsaw, it’s just a guy with a plate of blue cheese being like, ‘put this on your pizza.’ Oh, God, no.” — Myles (03:49)

• On wish pond theft:
  “You were not jobless, Sophia; you were cleaning the wishing well!” — Charlie (17:35)

• On the familial Chefs’ standoff:
  “Another guy using my grill. I don’t know. First time that’s ever happened. Just really took me back.” — Caller (43:16)
  “You know, sitting in his Lazy Boy—that kind of deal.” — Caller (45:12)

• On midwestern rambling:
  “The Midwest Goodbye from hell... you can’t get out of the room until after, like, two hours.” — Myles (09:40)
  (As “talkers” retell never-ending stories): “And that’s just the first, like, two hours.” — Charlie (11:03)

• On Midwest distances:
  “You’re in the wrong state, that is a long ass state you guys got.” — Charlie (55:53)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:26 — Bar banter & setting the scene at Vic’s
• 03:39—06:05 — The Midwest Haunted House riff
• 15:54—38:21 — Sophia’s “wishing well heist” call
• 43:05—62:28 — The Father-in-law grill-off & home inspector tales
• 68:10—69:37 — Escape Room as reality TV, episode wrap-up
• 63:16 — Myles’ $15,000 truck mishap story

Podcast Tone & Style

• Upbeat, conversational banter
• Self-deprecating Midwest humor
• Open-ended, listener-driven format
• Quick-witted, deeply regional, and at times absurd

Perfect for fans of small-town lore, goofy Midwestern banter, and the oddly specific nightmares that only the Heartland can provide.

“Make sure to tip your bartender—we’ll see you in the next one!” — Myles & Charlie (70:06)