The Strangest Reason to Hate Wisconsin #165

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Bellied Up
Episode: #165 – The Strangest Reason to Hate Wisconsin
Release Date: August 28, 2025
Hosts: Myles “You Betcha Guy” and Charlie Berens
Setting: Live at Kegel’s, a historic bar in West Allis, WI
Theme:
Myles and Charlie belly up at a classic Wisconsin bar to riff on Midwest living, swap stories, and take memorable calls from listeners. In this episode, they unravel the bizarre reason a caller's wife refuses to move to Wisconsin and hear a cautionary tale of stripper pole safety.
Tone: Irreverent, playful, and full of classic Midwest charm and banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: The Bar and Midwest Banter

• The episode kicks off with Myles and Charlie noticing they're both wearing jeans and green shirts (“That’s wild, Myles. No. Oh my god. Jared too. Wow.” – Charlie, 00:10).
• They riff on holes in jean pockets and Charlie's habit of putting screws in his (00:35).
• The hosts marvel at Kegel’s bar’s age and vivid, sometimes risqué, wall art (“If you get right into the details, well, it’s just as grungy as every other bar and God love them.” – Charlie, 02:21).
• String of jokes about Kegel exercises and pelvic floor health (“Strengthening the pelv wall for ladies and fellas. Actually, I’m doing some right now, Myles.” – Charlie, 03:56).

2. Midwest Medical: Charlie’s “Cheese Curd Incident”

• Charlie describes tweaking his “left cheese curd” while demolishing an old deck, worried about testicular torsion, and eventually rolling with classic male denial (“Classic Midwest guy move…Just ignore it long enough until it goes away.” – Myles, 06:04).
• Conversation veers into humorous euphemisms for private parts, pocket pool, and Midwest masculinity (07:03).
• Myles teases Charlie about being a “Good Catholic boy.”

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3. Listener Call #1: Jeff—The Rickshaw Engineer and His Wife’s Wisconsin Grudge

(Starts ~08:37)

Background:

• Jeff, a self-described Youper (from Michigan’s Upper Peninsula), currently living in Fargo, ND, calls in to unpack why his wife stubbornly refuses to move to Wisconsin.
• He shares a winding backstory, from the North Dakota oil boom to running a pedicab (rickshaw) business in Fargo.

Notable Quotes:

• “You got engineering brain, but you got a pedicab ass. That’s the full package.” – Charlie (14:04)
• Myles riffs sarcastically on Fargo tourism: “There’s just nothing sounds better than getting a full tour of the town you’ve lived in for 32 years.” (16:38)

The Core Mystery:

• Jeff reveals that despite vacationing often in northern Wisconsin, his wife insists it's a "hard no" for living there.
  • He first suspects sports allegiances (she’s a Lions fan; he’s a Packers fan).
  • Real culprit: Years of her late mother getting endless speeding tickets in small Wisconsin towns en route to Bible camp soured the whole family (22:14).

Notable Moment:

• The winding, almost thriller-style storytelling is mocked lovingly (“You set it up like this was some sort of, like a thriller… and the whole story is my wife didn’t want to move to Wisconsin because her mom got too many speeding tickets there. Is that the crux of it?” – Charlie, 23:12).
• Hosts express disbelief and amusement: “That is an INSANE, insane reason not to live somewhere!” – Myles (25:32)

Insights:

• Midwest grudges can have deep, random roots—sometimes literally just speeding tickets.
• The hosts suggest Jeff create new, positive Wisconsin memories for his wife (“Take her back to Michigan and just break down in Wisconsin accidentally…and break down at a nice little cabin.” – Charlie, 27:16).

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4. Midwest Life: Why Do People Drink Beer in Their Garages?

(Voicemail from Jeff, ~32:14)

The Query:

• Jeff asks: Why do people in Fargo and the Midwest sit in garages, garage door half open, just watching the street and drinking beer, instead of sitting out back?
  • Myles: Most likely because of the perpetual Fargo wind; the garage offers shelter, but you’re still outside (34:19).
  • Charlie shares the nostalgia of his Grandpa Bob, who loved people-watching from the garage (“I used to sit here and count the cows. Now I count the cars.” – 34:24).

Insights:

• Garage-drinking is a weather hack and a social tradition—a way to “see traffic, people, the world,” safely shielded from the elements.

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5. Listener Call #2: Jared—How I Gave Myself a Concussion on a Party Bus

(Begins ~39:10)

The Story:

• Jared, an aircraft engineer and wedding participant, relates a harrowing tale:
  • After reading during a cathedral wedding, Jared joins the party bus en route to the reception, attempts a twirl on the onboard stripper pole (“I was looking at this pole…gonna do one little twirl, take a bow, everyone cheers.” – Jared, 41:10).
  • The pole was not fastened properly. His weight cracks it loose: he gets clocked in the forehead, crushes a bridesmaid’s beer, results in a goose-egg and, it turns out, a concussion.
  • “I jump up. My first thought—not that I just got bashed in the head—but, ‘There goes the security deposit!’” (43:57)

Notable Quotes:

• “Wow, this is going great…About 120 degrees around the pole, something terrible happened.” – Jared, 41:46 (Myles: “This is the most engineer way to describe this story.”)
• “Sorry for trying to be a fun engineer for once.” – Jared, 43:04
• When asked if alcohol was involved: “No alcohol at all. I don’t drink!” (48:01)
  • Charlie: “Let me tell you something about these sober people, Myles…when you take alcohol out…they just get high on life and see a stripper pole and attack.” (48:14)

Aftermath:

• Jared continues to the reception, develops headache and confusion days later, misses work, and is ultimately diagnosed with a concussion.
• Shares video of the incident with the hosts.
• Hosts riff: “Maybe you could do charity, raise stripper pole structural integrity awareness…” (54:56)
• Charlie launches into a passionate PSA about anchoring stripper poles: “Don’t be going using drywall anchors in the bus!” (58:46)

Memorable Moments:

• Jared’s parents are both doctors, and he jokes about their pride: “You have one child getting married and both are doctors…and then you have a son.”
• Charlie confesses his own ‘stripper experience’—he once played a Scotsman stripper, in a kilt, for MTV’s The Hard Times of RJ Berger (58:13).
• Myles and Charlie burst out laughing repeatedly at the absurdity and humility in Jared’s story.

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6. Lightning Round & Fun Voicemails

• One caller leaves the message: “Charlie is better looking than Miles. Goodbye.” (66:25)
  • This triggers a running joke about their respective looks and Midwest ‘hotness’ rankings (“I’m like a Fargo 7.” “You’re like a Fargo 9, man.” – 67:50)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• (02:21) “If you get right into the details, it’s just as grungy as every other bar, and God love them.” – Charlie
• (08:09) “Good Catholic boy.” – Myles
• (14:04) “You got engineering brain, but you got a pedicab ass. That’s what makes you, like, the full package.” – Charlie
• (23:12) “You set it up like this was…a thriller…and the whole story was…my wife didn’t want to move to Wisconsin because her mom got too many speeding tickets there. Is that the crux of it?” – Charlie
• (25:32) “That is an insane, insane reason not to live somewhere!” – Myles
• (34:24) “I used to sit here and count the cows. Now I count the cars.” – Charlie (recalling Grandpa Bob)
• (41:46) “I’m at 120 degrees…something’s terribly wrong.” – Jared
• (48:14) “Let me tell you something about these sober people, Myles…They just get high on life and see a stripper pole and attack.” – Charlie
• (58:46) “Don’t be going using drywall anchors in the bus. I told you once, I told you before, when you’re putting a stripper pole in the bus, you don’t use the gosh dang drywall anchors.” – Charlie

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00–04:08 — Hosts riff on jeans, green shirts, and the bar’s ancient (and risqué) décor.
• 04:08–08:09 — Charlie’s “cheese curd” injury and Midwest attitudes toward doctors.
• 08:37–29:47 — Caller Jeff: Why his wife hates Wisconsin (hint: her mom’s speeding tickets); the rickshaw business; Fargo “insider” tour jokes.
• 32:14–36:02 — Garage drinking in the Midwest: why it’s a thing.
• 39:10–65:24 — Caller Jared: Concussion from a stripper pole at a wedding; ensuing workplace woes; hosts egging him on to send the video; larger discussion about sober fun and mechanical failure; Charlie’s own “stripper” acting story.
• 66:25–68:50 — Fun voicemails, joking about who’s better looking, “Midwest hotness scale,” closing banter.

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Summary Table: Segments & Takeaways

| Timestamp | Segment | Takeaway/Highlight | |-------------|-------------------------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–04:08 | Bar banter, outfits, décor | Midwest quirks, light ribbing, Kegel jokes | | 04:08–08:09 | Charlie’s “cheese curd” injury | Midwest men ignore medical issues, euphemism-laden humor | | 08:37–29:47 | Jeff’s call: anti-Wisconsin wife | Absurd family grudges (speeding tickets!), regional rivalries | | 32:14–36:02 | Jeff’s voicemail: garage drinking | Practical Midwest lifestyle explanation | | 39:10–65:24 | Jared’s stripper pole concussion | Cautionary tale, humility, joy in absurdity, PSA about bus safety | | 66:25–68:50 | Voicemails, looks jokes, “Fargo 7” riff | Goodnatured self-deprecation, camaraderie, classic Midwest charm |

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Final Thoughts

This episode exemplifies the heart of Bellied Up: offbeat Midwest stories, deep dives into the logic (or lack thereof) behind rural traditions, and finding hilarity in everyday setbacks and family lore. The hosts turn slow storytelling, listener foibles, and even minor injuries into comedic gold, always circling back to the themes of community, resilience, and regional pride.

Memorable Moments:

• Jeff’s slalom-like journey to revealing his wife’s “Wisconsin hate” origin story.
• Jared, the sober engineer, ironically failing a basic safety test and creating his own PSA moment.
• The warm mockery between Myles and Charlie—about fashion, beauty, and everything in between.

Everyone’s welcome at the Bellied Up bar—just don’t expect the stories (or the party bus poles) to be secure.

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For New Listeners

If you enjoy regional comedy, vivid small-town stories, and authentic Midwest camaraderie, this is an exemplary episode of the series. Take it as a reminder: sometimes, the silliest reasons have the biggest impacts—and that’s what makes the Midwest (and this show) so unique.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. I'm here with my good buddy Charlie. We both wore jeans and a green shirt today.

[B]

That's wild mouse. No.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Jared too. Wow.

[A]

Get in here, Jared. Come over here. Look at, look at his outfit.

[B]

Yeah. Is this the first time? No. Jared's been on the camera here before. All they can see is our green shirts, though. Let me ask you this, though. Do any of you have a hole in your jean pocket?

[A]

No.

[B]

Look at that. I got a hole. You guys ever get a hole in your jean pocket?

[A]

I hope to aspire that these jeans will get a hole in them someday one day. They bought these recently and I just can't wait to wear them out.

[B]

I mean, how do you get a hole in your jean pocket? I'll tell you how, Miles. You're putting screws in your pocket. And that's. I think it started with a screw and. And then it just, you know, worked its way around and now it. It looks creepy. If I tell people I got a hole in my jean pocket. Usually when it comes conversation is I'm pulling my wallet out of my shoe and they're like, do you keep your wallet in your shoe? I was like, I forgot I have a hole in my pocket. You know, Then they're like, well, why do you have a hole in your pocket? And I'm like, you know, holes happen in pockets.

[A]

That's true. That is very true, Charlie. Where are we at today, Charlie?

[B]

Well, we're at Cagles Miles here in West Dallas, Wisconsin. And this is a fantastic. This is a historic bar. Same paint job they had back 100 years ago.

[A]

Everything is here from 100 years ago.

[B]

Everything.

[A]

Everything.

[B]

And these are OGs, too. Like, like the. The great grandmother got busted by the police during prohibition.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You know, and so, I mean, these guys have been doing the Lord's work for a long time.

[A]

And I would say, Charlie, we've been to a lot of bars. I don't think we've seen a bar that's over 100 years old that looks in good a shape as this one.

[C]

No.

[A]

Would you agree with that?

[B]

Absolutely not. I can' one now, just because I can't think of it doesn't mean there's not one. But it's impressive. I mean, and the hand painted walls that we got monkeys that are playing poker.

[A]

They're cheating at poker. You see that they're passing the card below the table there.

[B]

Little chimpanzees cheating at poker, you know, and then over here, there's a Philippean in a beer barrel on the stained glass. And then there's a fellow over here drinking the pee out of the beer barrel. So it's a kinky bar, too. It's not just, you know, it looks upscale, but if you get right into the details, well, it's, it's just as grungy as every other bar and God love them. Yeah, there's probably some fornication going on on one of these walls. There's a drunk king over there. You know, he had a.

[A]

You never know what he's getting underneath that. That is, you know, we can only.

[B]

Ascertain now who's the fellow next to him dressed in just a sheet. That must be a special friend. Or his wife.

[A]

That might be his wife.

[B]

That might be his wife.

[A]

A lovely lady, though.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, gorgeous.

[A]

No, Charlie, I, I, I, I think that, you know, you go to new cities. Not new, but you go to cities, there's a list of, of places that you're like, oh, if I'm going somewhere, I think that I got to put this bar on my list of when we're in town, try to get to.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta put Kegels on your list here. And you know, this was even before Kegels was a thing you did to make stronger your nether regions. Right, right.

[A]

You know, Jake would say on the drive over here.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

If you're before that.

[B]

This is before that. Yeah. Strengthening the pelv wall for ladies and fellas. Actually, I'm doing some right now, Miles.

[A]

Speaking of that, Charlie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What happened to you this weekend?

[B]

I tweaked my left cheese curd. I did, I did. I was so. I was ta. I dropped this deck at my place, and then I was taking it apart screw by screw. Well, some of the screws, Mouse, they toenailed them in there and they buried the screw and I got the chisel out and I couldn't catch. And then I resorted to the age old tactic of just kicking the dam. And I was holding down one end and kicking with the other. And, and then I tweaked and cheese curd, or so I thought it was, it was in that general region. And I was like, is it. What's going on? So then I'm googling it, you know, and of course I got cancer.

[A]

You know, the Lance Armstrong special.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew that there was a physical thing that, that it was caused, but then I was like, oh, no, is this torsion? And I'll let you guys know if you Got a set of amania. Torsion is when one thing wraps around the other thing. And if you got swelling and one's dangling a little lower than the other or oddly. Shit. They're always dangling. One's always dangling. But, I mean, in a way, it's not usually dangling. And you want to be looking at its natural dangles. You have something to compare it to. But if it's cockeyed or something and you got some swelling, well, you got to go to. You see a doctor immediately on. Otherwise, it can cut off circulation to your curd, and then it's gonna. You might as well deep fry it at that point. Okay.

[A]

So how was your dangle?

[B]

This dangle was fine.

[A]

Dangle is fine.

[B]

Dangle was fine. And no swelling. So I says, well, that can't be it. Now, there were a couple other things I looked into, and, you know, I don't think any of those were the cause. And over time, now pain has just gone away.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's classic Midwest guy move by you. Something hurts, just ignore it long enough until it goes away. Don't go to the doctor. Well, don't run off and go, you know, strike up a medical bill.

[B]

I mean, if I was considering it only because it was my favorite organ. But I'll tell you this much. If it. If it wasn't, I usually have a thing where If I go 24 hours and it's not, and if it's 24 hours and it's on the up and up, it's getting better and better. Yeah. Now, if it goes 48 hours and it's getting worse and worse, well, then I'll. Then I'll go in. But, you know, it's tough. Going to the doctor is a pain in the ass, man.

[A]

Or the pain in the nuts.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it sure is. But, no, I'm fine. And here, let me just reach into my pocket and see. Yep, still not swollen, so we're good.

[A]

I don't pleasure being here with you today. Really? It wasn't enough for me to watch you play pocket pool sitting at the ball?

[B]

I was playing pool. I was just inspecting the. The cue ball.

[A]

Now I got to get to go get it. We all wearing green shirts, and now I got to go put a different one on.

[B]

I should have called it the two ball or the one ball.

[A]

The what?

[B]

Call it the cue ball.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Which kind of works. But, yeah, one ball, two ball would be funnier. Yeah. Go get a new shirt on.

[A]

Are they nice? Are they nice and shiny like pool Balls, too?

[B]

No, not right now, but you can give me a good reason to, and we'll figure it out. So should we take some.

[A]

Girlfriend's been out of town for a while.

[B]

Yeah, she has, but we're not married yet, Miles, so she hasn't seen any of that type of nonsense.

[A]

Very smart.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good Catholic boy.

[B]

Sure am.

[A]

Yeah. Well, should we take some callers, Charlie?

[B]

Let's do it, Mouse. Let's do it. All right, I'll call Jeff. Now, that's a delicious little treat I just had. It's an old Fashioned, my man. It gets you hammered, gets you slammer, gets you up, gets you going. It's an old fashioned. Hello. Welcome to the Bellied up podcast. Who we talking to?

[D]

This is Jeff.

[B]

Jeff, how are you doing, my guy?

[D]

I'm doing great.

[B]

Well, belly on up to the bar. I'm here with Miles.

[A]

Yeah, Jeff, I heard you got a question about drinking in the garage.

[D]

Drinking in the garage? I don't think that was my question.

[B]

Oh, did we get it wrong? Well, what the hell was your question?

[A]

Hold on. We. Me and Charlie. What was it? Me and Charlie got a bad memory.

[B]

Well, Jeff, you know what? Screw it. Just tell us your question. You're here. We'll get straight from the horse's mouth.

[D]

Okay, so. Well, this one is about. Okay, it's about my wife and my late mother in law and cops in Wisconsin and Bible camp and lions and packers and retirement and moving to Wisconsin.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Pulling up a chair here. I'm excited.

[A]

Let's settle up here. What do you want to do?

[B]

Where do we begin?

[A]

Tell us what's going on.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

So can I give you a little background?

[B]

You're gonna have to.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

All right, so. All right, so my wife and I are both Yoopers, and we relocated to western North Dakota during the oil boom back in 2012. And then we've been living in Fargo for the last four years.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Fellow Fargo and Charlie.

[B]

Yeah, well, you call him from Miles. Part of the world.

[A]

Kind of sad. You're in Fargo, I'm in Milwaukee. It should be the other way around.

[B]

It's a long ways away. It's a long ways away. Let me ask you. I might have. I was dealing my dial right there. Did I miss where you moved there from?

[D]

We were.

[A]

They were in western North Dakota for the oil boom. So they've seen the Wild West.

[B]

Okay, got it.

[D]

Yeah. So we were. At the time, we. We had lived in Marquette, Michigan for nine years, and then we were. Then we moved to Iron Mountain.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And then. And then I followed a friend that went out to Stanley.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[D]

In 24. In 2012. And then after our youngest of the three sons graduated from Stanley and we didn't really have any stuff, any keeping us there, we moved over to a civilization in Fargo.

[A]

You hear that, Charlie? Fargo is civilization. I can't believe he called it that.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's. It's.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's civilized there for sure. It's a wild west, though. I'll tell you the beginning of it. You can gamble in bars there.

[A]

It's cool.

[D]

Oh my gosh. Well, hey, when I first moved out there, the receipt. I work work for an engineering firm. And the receptionist was telling me now this is in 2012, when it was really wild in Williston. She said her friend would go over and she'd be making 15 and 100 to $2,000 a night. In the stripping clubs?

[B]

No, in the stripping clubs. Wow. Yeah, the paint business back in the day was just booming too.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yes. Yeah, I wasn't doing that though. I was. I'm an engineer. Oh, by. By the way, Charlie.

[A]

Hey. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, engineers gotta blow off some steam too.

[C]

So.

[D]

By the way, Charlie, I did meet you at Cowboy Jacks in Fargo after you performed at the Fargo Theater a couple years ago. And I said, I'm a youper driving a rickshaw in downtown Fargo, and you just kind of gave me a weir look.

[B]

Did I? Well, you got. Okay, so here's what you got to know about that night is I was actually with my buddy Miles, and one of Miles's friend had some stuff that was legal in Minnesota. And so I was trying. Most likely I was trying to be polite because I was losing my mind.

[A]

Yeah, he's probably going through some sort of mental spiral.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I was doing my best with what I had.

[A]

Lights were on, but I don't know if anyone was home as I think what he's trying to say.

[B]

Yeah, so I probably thought you said something else. I was trying to be polite there, but I just said nothing.

[D]

No, you. You didn't know why Upper would be driving a rickshaw in downtown Fargo?

[B]

Well, I actually, I didn't. And now I'm glad that you called and are giving me the full. Why the hell were you driving a rickshaw for fun?

[D]

Well, that's my part time business. I run a pedicab business. And on Friday night and Saturday night when all the. All the students are out, we go till like 2:30 or 3 in the morning and haul people around. Broadway and bring them back home.

[B]

You know, you got engineering brain, but you got a pedicab ass. And that's. That's what makes you, like, the full package. You got a lucky wife, I tell you that much.

[D]

I'm a pretty lucky guy. She lets me go out there and pedal around in the wee hours of the morning and I smell that stuff that is illegal and in Fargo yet, but is legal in Minnesota. Minnesota. All the time.

[B]

Yeah. You ever take a ripper?

[D]

No, I've. I've resisted. I have been offered many, many times. There's some. And there's some. Interesting.

[A]

Just like you've never been to the strip club in Williston. Yeah. We got you, buddy.

[B]

Yeah. You know, this isn't a press conference. You can be honest with us. We're at the bar.

[C]

Well. Well, hey, guys.

[D]

You guys are the celebrity celebrities in my family. And so it's gotta be G rated. Cause all the nephews and nieces and aunts and uncles and cousins are gonna listen.

[B]

Oh, shit. Well, I never touch this stuff, to be honest with you. I was just trying to make the 20 somethings laugh. So if those.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

So I didn't know the nieces and nephews were listening, but. So anyways, we met in Fargo, but keep going.

[A]

We got to know where this is going here.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[D]

So I'm. I'm about seven to eight years from retirement. My wife's gonna be retiring long before that. She robbed the cradle.

[B]

Nice.

[D]

And so we're. We're starting to think about y'.

[C]

All.

[D]

Hey, where. Where might we want to move back and be closer to family? I'll probably always have a house and Fargo, but, you know, maybe a cabin.

[A]

Not to brag. He's gonna have multiple homes.

[B]

He's got that Fargo primary house cab.

[A]

Business is nice, apparently.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey.

[D]

Hey, Charlie. Next time you're over in Fargo.

[B]

I.

[D]

Will give you and Miles and the crew a free tour like you've never seen. Up and down both sides of the Red river of the north. And an unforgettable experience. And we're gonna stop at Junkyard Bre Brewery and Director Brewha and Worst Beer hall, and we'll do a mobile bellied up podcast.

[B]

I mean, honestly, I would.

[A]

You know, there's just nothing sounds better than getting a full tour of the town you've lived on. Lived in for 32 years. Yeah, I just can't think of any other way to spend my time other than that. What.

[B]

What if Miles. I wanted the full Fargo experience. Yeah.

[A]

I'LL just meet you up with you at the end. He can drop you out downtown and I'll meet you there.

[B]

I want you to add to my experience.

[A]

What are you gonna be? Is it gonna be like. All right, so there's one of our bridges. And as you can see here, we have a water tower that they recently painted. You know, questionable on whether or not the paint job was good. And then this over here is the Fargo Community center, which houses the movie prop of the wood chipper from the movie Fargo. And then. All right, that concludes our tour.

[B]

Miles, what about the.

[A]

I mean, what else? What else is there?

[B]

You got to have a hill somewhere.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And here is our only hill in town. It is actually the interstate overpass. Man made.

[D]

Oh, my gosh. Well, Miles, I've had people that have said I've lived in Fargo my whole life and I'm 50 years old and I have never seen this part of Fargo before.

[A]

Why?

[D]

So I challenge you that you will love it.

[A]

Okay, okay, maybe, maybe, maybe.

[B]

We still gotta get to how your mother in law fits into this caper, this crime caper. You're, you're about to. I mean, you're, you're. Are you just calling the chit chat and you're faking us out with a story here? Because, I mean, don't get me wrong, it's good chit chat.

[D]

This is a real story. Okay, so my wife still has a lot of family up in the copper country in Houghton, Hancock area. And I've got three sisters and lots of nieces and nephews in the Fox Valley in Plymouth. So logical, easy choice is the up. But you know, I'd love to have northern Wisconsin as an option. I mean, we don't have to go there, but I'd like to for my wife to at least consider it, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And right now it's a hard no. It's like there's not a chance in hell. And I, you know, we love vacationing there, but living there is like no way. So I'm like, why?

[C]

Why?

[D]

Yeah. So now the logical answer might be she is a Die Hard Lions fan. You know, her whole family, she's. And I am a Die Hard Packer fan, you know, so that might be the easy thing. Why? But I started peeling back the layers and I think I figured out why. The real reason, it has nothing to do with our NFL rivals.

[B]

An ex boyfriend?

[D]

Nope. So when I first got a job offers out of college in 94, I had one in Wisconsin near Milwaukee, and I had some in Lower Michigan.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And it was like, no way in hell are we moving to Pewaukee. And. But she was so excited about Detroit, so I was like, okay, there's got to be something here going on. Well, I finally figured out. So her. Her mom, she was not your stereotypical mother in law. She was a great lady, and she passed away in 2000.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

So.

[A]

So what do you say anyway? What are they usually like?

[D]

I don't know. I had a great mother in law. She passed away. So I can. She's not here anymore to defend herself.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say she passed away. You don't have to keep up the saying that stuff.

[B]

You know, kind of believe them, honestly.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Hey, my wife's gonna be listening to this.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I forgot. We're in a press conference.

[A]

Your mother in law is great, and your wife is just like her.

[B]

You've never smoked weed.

[A]

Smiles when you've never been to the surf club.

[B]

We got it. And you go to church twice a.

[C]

Week.

[D]

Or if you're Catholic, seven days a week. So anyways, her. Her family is very involved in the church. Her grandfather is pastor for 38 years. Every year, her whole family would go to this Bible camp in Woodlake in Wisconsin. It's kind of like halfway between Duluth and the Twin Cities.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And if you do a map from Houghton to Wood Lake, are there any major highways that go there?

[A]

I. I don't know. Is it. Is it super relevant?

[B]

Well, what happened?

[A]

That Bible camp.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Killing me, dude. I don't care if there's a highway there or not. Let's just hear what happened.

[B]

I love it. Honestly. I love your twists and turns. You're taking more detours than, you know, Charlie does.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is impressive.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I think you are smoking weed, dude.

[D]

Her mom had a lead foot and drove one of those big boats and all those Wisconsin towns. He dropped from 50 down to 25. And she got a boatload of speeding tickets.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And I think my wife and her mom hated Wisconsin because of that. And my wife hated Wisconsin because.

[A]

Because of the speeding tickets.

[B]

Well, you get enough of them.

[A]

Her mom, they give you what she got so many that she's not even allowed in Wisconsin anymore. She's on a blacklist of some sort or what?

[B]

No, they arrest you.

[C]

Well, she.

[D]

She probably got out of quite a few.

[C]

She.

[D]

I mean, she's a little old lady, you know, so. So that's the. I think that's the reason why. So, you know, it's like, what do I.

[A]

What.

[C]

I love I was going with this.

[B]

I. That you're. Yeah, yeah. I just love how you tell stories, man. I just like you set it up like this was some sort of like a, a thriller like Mrs. Robinson thing, like you were sleeping with your wife and your mother in law and. And the whole story is my wife didn't want to move to Wisconsin because her mom got too many speeding tickets there. Is that the crux of it?

[D]

That's the crux of it.

[B]

Well, I'm glad. I know that you ride rickshaw and how much the strippers in North Dakota were making in 2012. And I'm glad that you had a job in Pewaukee and offers in Detroit and that your wife's a Lions fan. I'm just glad I know you. I feel like I know you better than some of my brothers at this point. And that's like 12.

[A]

It's hard to keep track of all.

[B]

Yeah, I know, I know. But I mean, this is, this is great. Well, I think we should get that rickshaw ride in.

[D]

I think you should.

[A]

Now, I do think you would be a great tour guide based off of what you just. What just transpired. I think you do probably give way too many details, but that's what people want on a tour.

[B]

But. And the thing was, I wasn't bored during any part of this story.

[A]

Well, no, you did a great job keeping suspense.

[B]

Yeah. And you got a great voice also.

[A]

I thought this was gonna end up at Bible camp, you know. Yeah, like, like, like she got an exorcism at Bible camp when she was a kid.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or something like that. But yeah, just apparently the speeding tickets.

[B]

And that's a great, that's a great gift. And he must get that naturally as a rickshaw driver because people, you know, you're on that thing for. People want stories. But he just throws in these details of like, you know, suggestively saying where something could go and then it never goes there. Yeah. You know, but yeah, you throw out, you know, you a big story involving you and your mother in law and then Bible camp. I mean, we're waiting for it. We're waiting to find the skeletons under the closet. But never, never performed here. But it was really good.

[A]

I want to let you know that that is an insane, insane reason not to live somewhere. I have to get that off my chest.

[B]

The speeding tickets of the mother in law.

[A]

Yeah, my mom got a lot of speeding tickets in Wisconsin. So I just, I can't move there. Is that. Where does that math add up in your head?

[D]

And she's lived in the shithole of Illinois too, for three years. So you know why Wisconsin's off limits? I don't know.

[A]

Well, she's definitely got some X's in Wisconsin. Yeah, there's all her exes live in Wisconsin.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I wish it. I wish it rhymed better.

[B]

Oh, my. All my sins. No, that rhymes too much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my ex flings. No, that don't work.

[A]

Wisconsin.

[B]

Yeah, I know, I know. It was an idea. Well, that's crazy, man. That's crazy. You know what, though? You know how it is. You grow up here and you know, some crawls up your dad's ass or your mom's ass and dies, and you're gonna be hearing about it all through your life, you know, and eventually that just seeps in and, you know, that's why packers fans hate the Bears so much. You know, and Bears fans hate packers fans so much.

[A]

That's banning the entire state of Wisconsin from your life because you got too many parking tickets in Milwaukee. That's a crazy move.

[B]

Yeah, I mean.

[A]

I mean, not even you getting too many parking tickets, that's like your mom getting too many parking tickets in Milwaukee.

[B]

It's conditioning. It's conditioning.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like you get told something over and over, you start to believe it. Well, I think you guys start giving your wife some positive Wisconsin experiences and maybe, maybe what you could do is get her on the old rickshaw and go for a cross country bike to tell you you're going to take her back to Michigan and just break down in Wisconsin accidentally and break down at a, at a nice, nice little cabin up there in Eagle river or three lakes or biggest chain of lakes you can tell are in the world. Do you know that?

[D]

I didn't know that. I thought Minnesota was the land of 10,000.

[A]

Don't even get Charlie started here.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why don't you bring robots up while you're at it?

[A]

This is solely getting away from me here.

[B]

I tell you this, Jeff, we don't need to tell you how many lakes we got on our license plate, because we know it's kind of like when the guy is talking about how he's packing heat, he's usually just packing a sock.

[A]

Just instead brag about how much dairy you got.

[B]

Yeah, we sure do. But I think that's the move. Get that rickshaw going. How far can you take that?

[D]

Well, I have to have a couple of batteries. It's got electric assist, so.

[B]

Oh, well, you get, get one of the ones that, you know, one of those old generators on those 70s Schwins, that it's got a little thing dragging on the wheel and then it powers the light.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh, Jeff.

[B]

I used to be a bike mechanic. I'm gonna order one of those on ebay. I'm gonna put on your rickshaw next time I'm in Fargo. All right.

[D]

Oh, man. Yeah. I was wondering if you could. Could do that, you could teach me some tricks and that's it.

[B]

That's. Yeah, that's. That's ass powered light right there.

[D]

That is an awesome idea.

[B]

Who needs solar power when you got ass power? And Jeff, I know you got it.

[C]

It's a real.

[A]

How do you know he's got ass power?

[B]

I. Dude's still driving rickshaw. Okay. He's got ass power.

[A]

Well, man, we appreciate you calling in today, Even though we thought you were gonna talk about something else that. I don't know where that information came from. I'm glad that we didn't talk about that. I'm glad we talked about your mother in law getting speeding tickets, so.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Appreciate it, dude. And you see me around Faro. Come say what's up.

[B]

Yeah, if you see me back around, I promise I'll be paying closer attention this time. All right?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Tell the dancers we say hi.

[A]

Yeah, just. Just make sure you. You see Charlie and talk to him like before 9 o'.

[C]

Clock.

[A]

Then he'll be able to carry a conversation with you.

[B]

Here's a fun fact. Miles is the one who gave me the edible. Now it all comes out.

[A]

I thought they were fruit snacks.

[B]

Well, you were wrong.

[A]

I don't think. I don't think that happened.

[B]

I was seeing the kool aid, man. All right, well, you be good, Jeff.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Watch out for deer.

[B]

All right, you too. Especially on that rickshaw. They pop out of nowhere.

[A]

See ya.

[B]

I like rickshaw's.

[A]

I could tell. Yeah, I can really tell you love them.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, that's. People don't give those guys enough credit, you know, they don't really. Yeah, they don't get enough credit. They're out there busting their ass and it's just like. Oh, can we fit another one on here? Sure. Bring Tiffany on too. Jessica, that's exactly what I, my sciatica needs right now is another one of you.

[A]

I like that impression. Whatever that was, that was great. Did you start working that in more? You should do it in your stand up.

[B]

I should do that? Yeah, maybe. Let's clip that right there and then I'll look it back. I don't even know what voice I did. You know what? I. Wow.

[A]

Lose. You lose your train of thought?

[B]

No, I. I was gonna say something to you, but I was like, it's. I was gonna test out a bit, Anya, and I figure it's probably not the time to do that.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Well, if I put it on here, and then it's, like, not a surprise on stage, I'll talk to you about it after.

[A]

Okay, so if you guys want to figure out what that bit is, you gotta go to charliebarrons.com and look at his tour.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Well, now that you mention it. Miles. Yes, I am trying to sell more tickets. Charlie, come into a city nearest you. Maybe I'll bring Miles. Oh, yeah, Play it. Record this. Yeah, yeah. Plug that in. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We got receipts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jeff.

[B]

Hey, hey. Let your nieces and nephews hear this, y'. All. Liar. Let's hear it.

[C]

Hey, guys.

[D]

So I left a different one on. Old fashions and my wife's aversion to moving to Wisconsin. But here's. Here's another one. So I'm a youth. My wife's a youper. But we moved to North Dakota in 2012, and we've been in Fargo. Actually, West Fargo. But we've been in the Fargo Metro area since 2021 and bought a house in West Fargo.

[C]

And I am really.

[A]

We gathered that. Jeff, when you said you live in West Fargo.

[D]

There's this thing that people sit in their garage in a chair. They got their garage door half open, and they just sit out and look out at the street and drink a beer. And it's like this really weird thing, you know, they don't sit in the backyard around a bonfire. They're just in their garage looking out, and I'm like, what the heck is up with that? Why. Why do they do that? So I'm. I'm just a upper living in Fargo or West Fargo and don't understand the local culture, I guess, but would really like some understanding. Especially you, Miles. Being from Fargo, you would have missed that why people do that.

[A]

What's actually very funny is every day on my way to work, as I'm leaving my neighborhood, there's an older couple that is always sitting on a lawn chair in their garage, like, every morning, give them a wave. Every single morning. He does bring up Val Point. Why not just do that in the backyard? And I've done it before. Yeah, I've sat on a lawn chair in your garage, and it's kind of nice because in Fargo, the wind is howling at all times, but when you're inside the garage, you don't get as much wind. And so it's like. Almost like it's a calm day out, but you still are outside. And I think that that's probably number reason, number one interesting, the wind that.

[B]

You bring that up. Yeah.

[A]

When you're in Fargo, wind consumes your life a lot.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, much more. So here we have a lot of breakers from the wind, but. Yeah. My grandpa Bob would sit in the garage. I remember he would always sit right in there, and he would stare out on the street. And I remember one day he said, you know, I used to sit here and look at the cows. Now I. Or I used to sit here and count the cows. Now I count the cars. And there's. Then he said something mean about someone on a bike and.

[A]

Sounds like a happy guy.

[B]

Yeah, he was. So. He loved the garage, too, but he loves seeing in the garage. But, you know, it's just. It's a pleasant thing to watch the traffic go by, to watch people walk by, to watch, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The whole thing. And I do think, though, the idea of the garage being half down, I think that's something else. I think that's people ripping heaters in the garage, because otherwise, why wouldn't you have the garage fully up? You know, you're just trying to get the air circulation.

[A]

Probably that guy saw it. The wind was coming at the garage, so that was more wind blockage.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense.

[A]

Get a draft down low, up in your undercarriage, keep you nice and cool. You know, it's like AC seats.

[B]

Got it. Yeah, that's. That is nice. Now that I know that, I gotta say thanks, Jeff, for. For bringing not just a great story, but a great voicemail, too.

[A]

We salute you also. We both were right. We. He did. He did leave a voicemail about the garage.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But he also left another voicemail about that.

[B]

So I get the feeling that Jeff's a Chatty Cathy and that he doesn't remember half the things he leaves voice.

[A]

I would love to see how many times he's actually called in. It's got to be more than that, even.

[B]

School's back.

[A]

School's back.

[B]

And think of all the ways you can get your ass handed to you. You don't look at the stop sign on the bus. You get a notebook that. That's got a particularly sharp edge on it. Paper cuts.

[A]

You know, you're in the school pickup line and someone Cuts you off and you know, you're just trying to pick your kid up from school. You had a long day at work, someone end up in a bad spot.

[B]

Someone slings a pencil at your dong at the wrong speed.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, if that happens to you, what do you got to do?

[B]

Charles, I think you're going to call Nicolay.

[A]

So yeah, you know, there's all sorts of mishaps that can happen around the heightened experience of going back to school. And so if you find yourself in a tough situation, maybe some injuries of some sort, you got to give Nicolay law call 855- Nicolay- maybe you ate.

[B]

Lunch, a chicken sandwich and you found that there was still a head on the chicken.

[A]

Yeah, that's not good.

[B]

You might get the bird flu that way.

[A]

So give Nikolay a call, guys.

[B]

NFL season is back, ladies.

[A]

I've been waiting all year.

[B]

Boom. It's gonna be a good season, guys. I'm excited and I want to let you know that Prize Picks is gonna give you $50 in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you're gonna get 50 bucks in lineups. Use the promo code bellied up when you sign up today. That's bellied up.

[A]

One word.

[B]

Prize Picks is kicking off the season with their new it's good to be right campaign.

[A]

And guess what, Charlie, what's that one for week one they've dropped a deck Dak Prescott passing yards to just 0.5 yards for Thursday night Football.

[B]

Oh really?

[A]

So he just needs to pass for 1 yard for you to hit that one?

[B]

Well, that seems like a. It's a good no brainer.

[A]

It's a good deal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One completion, that's it. And you're cashing in that pick, Charles. Right now. New users play your first $5 lineup and get $50 in lineups win or lose. Download Prize Picks today because it's good to be right. I don't want to be wrong.

[B]

No.

[A]

If Prize Picks is right. All right guys, so we have a caller coming up next who said that he got a concussion in a weird way. And Charlie and I are going to try and guess how we got concussion.

[B]

Do you want to go first?

[A]

Where is he from? Does it say I like how that's.

[B]

Going to factor into your decision.

[A]

Does matter a lot. Does matter a lot.

[B]

Yeah, they're called. I think he ran into the wing.

[A]

Because he's an aircraft engineer. I think he fell off the jet wagon. Jetway again.

[B]

You think he fell off the jetway? I think you get more than a concussion doing that.

[A]

It's. It's a Dumb and Dumber joke. Charlie. How'd you get fired? Fell off the jetway again.

[B]

Okay, I'll call him.

[A]

Come on. It's all right. I'm a limo driver.

[B]

How many times have you watched dumb and dumber?

[A]

50 plus.

[B]

Jared.

[A]

Hello? Is Jared there?

[C]

Yes, how are y'? All?

[B]

We're good, man. We're good. We want you to belly on up to this bar with us because I heard that you're an aircraft engineer and you got injured in a very peculiar way.

[C]

You can say that. Something like that.

[B]

Yeah, I just did say that.

[A]

Is that it?

[B]

Yeah. Not only could I, I did. So what happened?

[C]

Yeah, okay, so for a little context, my sister got married. And, you know, I went to this wedding. It was in a beautiful Catholic cathedral. I did the first and second reading at this cathedral.

[A]

Double duty.

[C]

Yeah. You know, duality of man with this next part.

[A]

Was it. Was it 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 1 through.

[B]

Love is patient, love is kind.

[A]

I actually was just at a wedding this last weekend. That was the reading.

[B]

I was at a wedding two weekends ago for my sister. I did that reading.

[C]

Yeah, it's true. That was one of the readings. I did have to practice it a few times because I, as an engineer, reading is not my strong suit.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So, yeah, we do the wedding now. We get on the party bus. It's like the groomsmen, bridesmaids, everyone on this bus. And on this party bus, on the way to the reception, there is a pole on this. On this bus. And, you know, trying to get the party started, I was looking at this pole, and I was like, you know, in my mind, I'm gonna do one little twirl. One little twirl on this pole. Do my spin. I'm gonna mount it. Just one loop. Take a bow. Everyone cheers.

[A]

Yeah. You're like, if I don't do this now, like, I put these tassels on my nipples for no reason, it's gonna be where. It's gonna be much weirder later at the dance when I take my shirt off, I got tassels on my nipples. They don't know why.

[C]

Something like that. Yeah. So, like, I jump. I'm on the pole. I'm at 90 degrees now around the pole. I'm like, wow, this is going great. About 120 degrees around the pole, something terrible happen.

[A]

This is the most engineer way to describe this story.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In degrees of rotation, right?

[B]

90 degrees. I had 120. Now I'm thinking, is he up, is he down?

[A]

Yeah, he's like. All right. So the velocity I was rotating at was about 7 miles per hour or 7 meters per second. He's an engineer.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So you're going to be doing velocity.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. My bad. Okay, continue. You were. You're now at 120 degrees.

[C]

I'm at 120 degrees.

[B]

So you're facing the ground. Ground. You're more down than you're up.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no. We're doing a loop the pole like a clock.

[B]

I thought your body was like a second hand on the clock.

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

Okay, so you're just, you're riding it normal, just like you're riding a fire pole.

[C]

Sure. And then 120 degrees. Turns out they didn't secure the pole at all at the top.

[A]

It was meant to be danced. What it's for. I don't know, dude. I'm starting to wonder if you're a real engineer. A real engineer would have checked the structural integrity of it before he would have just jumped on. I was saying, I'm kind of with.

[B]

Miles on that one too.

[C]

Sorry for trying to be a fun engineer for once and see what happens.

[A]

It's not possible to be a fun engineer.

[C]

Exactly. Exactly. So 120 degrees. Something's terribly wrong. I'm no longer pulling myself towards the pole. The pole is now coming towards me because, you know, the centrifugal force.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Set about 180 degrees. With all of my body weight, the pole bastards into my forehead. Now all is good at this point. Once I get to about 260 degrees, that's when I land on one of the bridesmaids and just crush her beer all over her. And at this point I land, I look. My first thought, not that I just got em bashed in the head with a metal rod. My first thought is, there goes the security deposit.

[A]

That's actually what I was wondering how. What the damage was in terms of the bill you gotta pay.

[C]

Well, we'll get there. We'll get there. So I jump up. All of this is on video too. It's the unfortunate thing. One of the wedding photographers was there.

[A]

Can, can they get that footage after this call? Can you send it to us so we can put it in?

[C]

Yes. Well.

[A]

Or is it still under investigation?

[C]

Well, no, there's no investigation. It's just I have a job and, you know, I don't know how much my work wants to see a video of me twirling. Well, unsuccessfully twirling Around a stripper pole. Let's find out myself.

[B]

Let's find out. Send it over.

[A]

I was not worried about that. Do you really want to work for that company? You know, I thought you guys had a work hard, play hard culture.

[C]

Well, we'll get to that part, too. This is a whole dilemma at this point. This is about a month, month and a half ago at this point. My brain is starting to function again. But yeah, bash my head. And with a stripper pole, the bus driver was just like, that's not supposed to happen. It's supposed to be secured from the top. And it just came out. Amazing. So luckily, as you guys said, we didn't have to pay anything because they're like, that was our mistake.

[A]

Yeah, because they're worried about getting sued by you, which we have a lawyer for you, buddy.

[B]

Ladies and gentlemen, to go to nicolay law.com if you've been injured by a stripper clone not properly secured to the.

[A]

Top of your bus, call 1-855-NICOLETTE nicolelaw.com Anyways, continue on.

[B]

We just had to in there.

[C]

Yeah, you're good. This call could be a consultation.

[B]

Honestly, we're going to count it as that. Dude, we're going to count it. We'll send you 499 for your services. That's $4.99. I don't know why I said that. Like I was East Coast. East coast. All right, so you get knocked off this stripper pole, you go into a bridesmaid who's like, are you married? That's probably an awkward thing, too.

[A]

Just get a. Got a face full of. You know what.

[B]

Yeah, dress like.

[C]

I don't know what part of this story makes you think that I'm married.

[A]

Hey, great. Actually, a great meet cute. Yeah, just land amongst her bosoms and you're like, well, fancy meeting you here. You know, it's. It's better than having a cute dog run up to her and be like, I'm so sorry about that. This is way better than that.

[B]

This is a Hallmark movie.

[A]

Is. Did you recently just move back to your hometown after having a giant corporate engineering job?

[B]

And you recently got fired for sending your video to a podcast? Dude, we gotta see that video.

[A]

High school with this girl.

[C]

I'll share the video with y'. All. I don't. Don't you worry. It's on. It's actually on my hinge right now. It's not doing too well for me. I don't think.

[B]

On your hinge.

[A]

Well, yeah, because. Yeah, I mean, can you look.

[C]

No, I got you.

[A]

He's gonna send it to us.

[B]

Oh, yeah, send it over. Dude, I gotta see this. Yeah, it's on your hands. You're fine. You know, because honestly, you know, it's a very human thing, man. It's not like you were hammered or doing weird things with someone. It's just you got on a stripper pole and it wasn't screwed. Right. And.

[A]

Yeah. So where were you going? You're saying that they didn't make you pay anything because they were worried about getting sued by you? What. What. What came after that?

[C]

So that was my entire thing, because it's a small business. I'm not trying to hurt them. I didn't think they purposely planned for me to get bashed in the head and stripper pole. So I was like, just. We'll be good. Just don't charge us, and I'll.

[D]

I'll be fine.

[C]

And I. At this point in time, I didn't think I had a concussion. So, like, that night, went to the reception, and I want. Wanted to be very clear here. I don't drink. So alcohol was not involved with any of this.

[A]

What?

[C]

And I'm like, yeah, there was no alcohol involved in any of this.

[A]

So, I mean, Charlie, are you ever performing a stripper pole move without any sort of intoxication?

[B]

Let me just tell you something about these sober people, Miles. Crazy things soup them up, man. Like, when you take alcohol out of your system, you can get souped up by a bowl and tonic, you know, like, you don't need alcohol at a certain point. Like, it's almost like a superpower, and they just get. They just get high on life and see a stripper pole and attack. I know some of these sober people, man, they're wild, crazy animals, and they need that adrenaline to keep them going. And so where's that video? I want to see that thing.

[A]

Yeah. So you were sober, and so you didn't have to worry about. I mean, that's great. You could continue on without worrying about furthering damage to your brain with alcohol.

[C]

Yeah. So. Well, and I'll send the pictures as well. That came from this, because I ended up with a giant knot on my head from this, as you can imagine. And I go out and I'm dancing on the dance floor. And there were a few times throughout the night where I kind of, like, took a step back and, like, something's not right. Where am I? But then I immediately gained consciousness again. Just kept going. And then I flew home the next day. Really? Where it Hit me is, I drove to work Monday morning. I sit down to look at my computer, and my brain just was not. It was not on. So then I had to go explain to my director that, like, hey, this weekend I got hit in the head with a stripper pole. I gotta go. And, like, I led up to it while I was like. Like, there was a pole on the party bus. And the first thing he asked me is, was there a pretty lady on the pole? And I was like, yes, it was me. And he was like, just go home.

[A]

Yeah, your supervisor knows. Let's get the video. Let's. Yeah, it would be good. He's fine.

[B]

Did you see a doctor? You're not supposed to go to sleep if you've had a concussion.

[A]

That's old. That's old.

[B]

That's old.

[A]

You're fine. The thing you need is sleep.

[C]

Oh, so that's the thing. This wasn't my first concussion, so I was kind of like, I'm fine. And the symptoms didn't click in until, like, Monday. So, like, 48 hours later. But I tried to, like, push through. Like, I missed, like, a week's worth of work. I tried to go back into work on Friday. I drove there, and then, like, whenever I sat down at my desk, I was like, I have no clue where I'm at. Something's just not right. So then I drove myself to the hospital. Like, any reasonable person who doesn't know where they're at.

[A]

Maybe I'm concussed. I get that a lot when I sit down at work, too.

[C]

They add up on you, I'll tell you that. And, I mean, the medical staff got a real kick out of it. I do think there was a male nurse there, and I think he only got part of the story because he was just like, dude, it happened to.

[D]

The best of us.

[C]

Like, my buddy at a bachelor party broke his nose when a stripper was, like, twerking on him. I'm like, no, no, man.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

How hard does the stripper have to be twerking for you to break your nose?

[B]

You know, they do that, man.

[A]

They do that.

[B]

My. My. My way back in the day, I remember my brother, they took his. His best man to a strip club. And. And the strippers on your bachelor party, like, they. It's painful. Like bdsm. Like, they drop on you and stuff, you know, they. They try to break your willy, you know, And. And they should, because you're about to get married and you're seeing another LA ladies who. Whatchamacallit. It's not very Christian of you bosoms, so you deserve a little bit of that. So, yeah, fell guy's nose broke a bit. That was for the bride. Let's see this video, dude.

[C]

Here we go. Okay, now it's. Letting me do it here. I'll send you a picture because I had, like, a giant bruise on my forehead for probably about a week after.

[A]

They do say, though, that if it's swelling on the outside of your forehead or head, that's better than on the inside. So at least you got that going for.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. If you hit your head, you want it to. You want to get a goose egg, because that means that all the damage is on the outside instead of the inside.

[B]

Oh, so that's what concussion is. When you get, like, swelling on the.

[A]

Inside, you basically bruise. Your brain is essentially what a concussion is of some sort.

[B]

Sam. All right, let's see this. All right. All right. Look at that.

[A]

That's not that bad.

[B]

That's not that. Oh, here's a video. Hang on.

[A]

That's just the photo of the aftermath. Math.

[B]

Okay, that's a photo.

[A]

Okay, there's a little more.

[B]

All right, here it is.

[A]

That got you a concussion. I was imagining you started at the top.

[B]

Okay, let's watch again.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's your filmer? They're.

[C]

They.

[B]

They zoomed in at the exact wrong time.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like I'm watching Star Video.

[C]

Slow down the video.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Like, you see me, like, bash my head, so. Because you can't really tell that I hit myself in the head. And, like, you also know I'm not, like, a big guy. Like, I'm 165 pounds, and if I'm taking down this pole, that ain't right.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, there's, like, some strip joints in North Dakota where I wouldn't support, you know, this. The strippers that are there, you know?

[B]

Yeah, well, that's. That's.

[A]

I was waiting for you guys. I just left me out to dry.

[B]

No, I just heard that.

[A]

I was Stripper Joe. Come on.

[B]

All right, here's. Here's. So we. We are one. Oh, there it is. Oh, right in the noggin, dude. Yeah, there we go.

[A]

I mean, good form by you, though.

[C]

You.

[A]

You kept it tight to the pole. You know, you're rotating at a good rate.

[B]

Dude, shout out to this guy in the green. You're hype, man. Dude, look at that guy.

[C]

I think that's the groom. Let me see here. Or no, the one in the back. Yeah, the one in the still shot pictures like, oh my gosh, what's happening? And I was about to land on him. That's the groom. One in the back is one of the best men.

[A]

I love how everyone suddenly is like, oh, shit, what do we do now?

[B]

Yeah, well, look, dude, we're, we're, we're glad you're okay and we're sorry that this didn't go the right way. We're praying for you that your brain gets better and that.

[A]

Yeah, concussions are no joke.

[B]

No, they're not. But more importantly, we want the next time that you see a stripper pole to do you did the right thing.

[C]

I'm not. No, I'm going away. I'm not.

[A]

Well, no, this is a great platform. You do rate to raise stripper pole structural integrity awareness. And maybe you could do like a fun run with it or something and. Yeah. Start a charity to. To raise money to a little 1K.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, something like that. Just to get it going. Just you take what a stripper on an average night and just run that a 1k and, and just let people only a Williston.

[A]

They're making that, you know, in Fargo. It's got to be like, it's got.

[B]

To be a 2.5k, like, like three.

[A]

Each, you know, like three hundo. Run a 300 meter dash.

[C]

You can only donate money in the form of one as well.

[B]

Yes, yes. You can only donate in singles. That's a great idea.

[A]

Yeah. And then you can. Your charity can just be donating structural integrity things to stripper poles so this doesn't happen to anyone else.

[B]

And then you should have booths at this event with stripper poles so people know that, you know, a well secured stripper pole is safe and fun to use. And you should, you should not stray away. Yeah.

[A]

Because we don't want to discourage people from stripper polls after hearing the story.

[B]

No, it's a great workout. It is. They. They have these workouts. I've done it. Oh, I. I played a stripper in a television show.

[A]

Did he told this story before?

[B]

You didn't know that?

[A]

What happened?

[B]

It was hard times of RJ Berger. The year was 2010. I was low on money and needed any job I could have.

[A]

It's so funny. I'm like a senior in high school at this time. And you're doing.

[B]

You're.

[A]

You're doing strip strip gigs for movies.

[B]

I was broke, man. I was taking the. The used bagels or the. Not the lightly used bagels, the lightly stale bagels.

[A]

What does A lightly used bagel. Look like. Like. Like if someone doesn't finish their bagel at the. The shop, they, like, you know, got two bites left. You're just.

[D]

You're.

[A]

They're keeping that for yourself or. What is it?

[B]

We all have been there when someone pulls apart a bag. Only a couple clips there. You know, you take that. Yeah. Someone comes into the box of bagels, and, like, there's some that were not used. I obviously saved those from the trash, but some people pulled them apart and left half a bagel there. They came with a. A knife, and they just cut pieces of it. Well, I took the ones that had not been consumed yet. It was that simple. And so I was in need of some money, and a friend of a friend knew that I was broke and trying to be an actor. And they asked me if I wanted an extra role on this MTV show, the Hard Times of RJ Berger. And I said, oh, yeah, this is my shot. And I had done.

[A]

Take off one shot.

[B]

If you have one shot, he sees everything you ever. Mm. My opportunity, my moment. And I had some experience. I worked as a. As a model at a senior citizen home for figure drawing before.

[A]

Yeah, you told us that. Yeah.

[B]

And I even took off my clothing for the woman who was doing the program, and she took a picture of me for a painting of hers. So I had been in the nude business before, so I figured, you know, how bad could this be? Well, it wasn't bad at all. It was very fun, actually. Freeing being up there on the pole. I was dressed as a Scotsman. As in a kilt. Yeah. And you can see me. I'm partially in focus for part of this. It's still on the Internet somewhere.

[A]

All right, we're gonna have to find our pull tape here.

[B]

But anyways, my point in saying all this is stripper poles are a good workout, and they can bring out your inner child, and they're a good financial investment for small business owners and also ladies of the poll. So what is really needed here is to make sure that our tradesmen are proper. First of all, if there's not a stud in there, we gotta secure it, anchor it somehow. Anchor it. And metal anchors don't be going using drywall anchors in the bus. It's a goddamn problem here. They're probably using drywall anchors. I told you once, I told you before, when you're putting a stripper pole in the bus, you don't use the gosh dang drywall anchors.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Were you using drywall screws too?

[C]

You Son of a.

[B]

That's the conversation that needed to happen after that. And I still think that you let them off the hook, and someone's got to get, you know, properly smacked around a little bit for not.

[A]

I was gonna say compensated.

[B]

Well. Yeah, I didn't.

[A]

I didn't know you were.

[C]

I don't. I don't be smacked around anymore.

[A]

Yeah, he's already been smacked around.

[C]

Not you.

[B]

The guy who screwed up drilling it. Well, you can't go beating employees. That's not nice.

[A]

So you want to go eye for an eye here for this scenario?

[B]

No, that's not.

[A]

Forehead for a forehead. A forehead for a whorehead head.

[C]

You know, I figured you want to go pull for pole getting would be as good as a confession for twirling around a stripper pole seductively. As you guys can tell, I figured that would just serve as a one for one, so I didn't need to go to confession after.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[B]

There's no shame in going on that stripper pole. I think you should contact. Well, you don't want to sue on my. Respect that.

[D]

But.

[A]

But if you do, we know a guy. So are you. You're. You're doing good now, though, or.

[C]

You could say that. I mean, it's my third concussion, so I'm still getting headaches every so often. I actually pre medicated for this. Took a Tylenol.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

When did this happen?

[C]

Oh, I think it was, like, July 2017.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, a month ago.

[B]

And have you been. Have you. What the doctors say they were just.

[C]

Like, stop hitting yourself in the head. If this. If you don't get better, then you're gonna need to go see, like, a neurologist. But I started to improve so, like, I can look at my phone again and, like, work, and I know where I'm at, but every so often, a headache happens. That's normal.

[B]

I don't know, man. I would. I'd talk to some. I'd go see a neurologist, make sure this. This one didn't knock you a little loose in the. In the goose, man.

[A]

Man, I got one more question for you. Are your parents proud of you?

[C]

Well, that's actually, like, I. My parents. I asked them at the reception. I'm like, you know, you have one child that's getting married, and they're both doctors, and then you have a son.

[A]

That makes it so much worse for you. That makes. And then talk about salt in the wound. Oh, man. Your brother's a doctor and so is his wife.

[C]

Yes. So, like, I was Just like, you know, you have like, one of your children's getting married today and the other one bashes head with a stripper pole. Which one are you more proud of? And they said it's a close one, but I don't know, I kind of feel like Charlie based on the stories he tells about his family.

[B]

It's nice that we can unite in this way, ma'. Am. Find that common ground, you know?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I think you and I get a lot in common. I'm just the dumb jet engine engineer. The family.

[B]

I'm just a dumb comedian, man, with a big family. Yeah, well, you. Look, I hope you're not working for Boeing because the last thing they need is someone with three concussions building their shit. Dude, it's already falling out of the sky. God. Got to just stay away from the airplane for a little while.

[A]

We get a call from Boeing after this episode and they're like, take this down for us.

[B]

Take this down or we'll kill you. That's what they do. Boeing kills people. Allegedly. Allegedly. If they talk about him. Who do you work for?

[C]

No, come on, bro. It's not Boeing. It's not Boeing.

[B]

That's all that matters.

[A]

Spirit. It's not.

[B]

What's the two one with the two words? Oh, it's Aerobus, Airbus.

[C]

Airbus. It's one word. That's a French company, so it's not that one.

[B]

Lockheed Martin.

[C]

No, I'm not. Big military guy.

[B]

Good for you, man. All that stuff. Those drones, Palantir. Let's see who else? Who else? Oh, it's probably Gulf Stream.

[C]

No, no, it's jet engine, so it's not airframes.

[B]

I don't even know the difference. I'm just naming off companies I'm thinking of.

[A]

Not really that relevant.

[B]

Yeah, well, this was fun, man. It was good talking to you and we hope you're better. Okay. If you start getting, you know, if it starts going sideways, make sure you see one of your brother or sister in law, okay? They hook you up with a good neurologist. Don't just take the first one off out of the box, man, because you know, you want an experienced neurologist, so don't worry.

[C]

Whenever I landed, they all did like a medical exam on me. They were like, how many fingers am I holding up? What day is it? Where are you? And lucky enough I was really. So I. I passed that quiz.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Well, good. I don't know if that really means anything, but I'm glad and happy for you and we're gonna. Okay. Cool, man. Well, keep, keep fighting the good fight and, you know, we'll see you soon. Every time we look up, we'll think of you.

[A]

Yeah, watch out.

[C]

Think of Jared, the engineer who bashed his head into one.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah. Thoughts and prayers, man.

[A]

Have a good one.

[C]

Well, y' all have a good one and stay safe. Stay away from the polls.

[B]

You too, man. You too.

[A]

I mean, it was only a matter of time. I mean, what is these bus companies expect putting a pole on a party bus, you know?

[B]

Yeah, man, I, you know, I like, I like a good, A good bar with a bus. You know, like a bus.

[A]

A bar in a bus.

[B]

No, like, like I want to get to that point where I can own a bar that owns a bus.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know, I didn't know this was.

[A]

A dream of yours.

[B]

I mean, it is.

[A]

Yeah. You see, you. That's.

[B]

For a long time I wanted to own a bar, but I was like, dream bigger.

[A]

So you'd like a bar with a, with a party?

[B]

I want to own a bar that owns a bus.

[A]

Okay. All right, so that's great. I'm. I, I think it can happen for you.

[B]

Well, we, we don't know yet. We don't know.

[A]

Well, is that it? Jared, we got a voice.

[B]

Oh, we got voicemail here.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Charlie is better looking than Miles. Goodbye.

[B]

What? That.

[A]

I mean, that is, that's.

[B]

Why is your brother calling into the show?

[A]

I mean, I don't think anyone is arguing with that. You know, I don't. He said it like it was taboo to say. He said it like p. There was, you know, that it was common knowledge that I am better looking than you. And I just don't think that that's the general consensus. That's like, that's like him calling in and going, cancer is bad.

[B]

Oh, I don't know, Miles. I think you're a good looking guy myself, personal.

[A]

Charlie, when you and I go to a bar together, all I get coming up wanting to hang out is big, sweaty blue collar dudes.

[B]

You go to a bar, I'm getting those 45 year olds, four tattoos. That's, that's.

[A]

Hey, even if that's true, those are. That's still women.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I, I do get that once in a while. And that's really, that's, that's nice. Feels nice sometimes. Yeah. Know, but you know, there are better looking people than me, that's for sure.

[A]

And so what does that say about me?

[B]

I mean, it's says everything's relative, you know, and.

[A]

Yeah, I'm like a Fargo 7. Give me that. Right.

[B]

I think you're like a Fargo 9, man.

[A]

Okay. All right. Wow, Fargo N side makes me a Milwaukee 6.

[B]

Yeah, no, Fargo 9 would make you a Milwaukee 7.

[C]

Okay, thank you.

[B]

Yeah, no Milwaukee 7.5. That'd be funny to do. Like to have a table, a mathematical table of the city and the ranking. Yeah, maybe we should make that. That'd be funny. Is that a quick video we can do? Yeah, yeah, we should do that.

[A]

That's a good idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well. Is that it, Jared? Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. Thanks for tuning in and as always, tip your bartender. Tip your bartender. We'll see you in the next one.

[C]

Okay? Hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.

[B]

Toodaloo.