This High School Team Is Doomed #196

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast #196: "This High School Team Is Doomed"

Hosts: Charlie Berens & Myles the You Betcha Guy
Date: April 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this classic Bellied Up outing, Emmy-winning comedian Charlie Berens and Myles (“You Betcha Guy”) nestle in at the 1029 Bar in Minneapolis, Minnesota, to swap Midwest stories, riff on generational quirks, and take live listener calls. The episode’s central thread is a lively, often hilarious conversation with Aaron, a young, beleaguered JV softball coach facing a cascade of bizarre injuries and team shenanigans. The pair, as always, blend small-town wisdom, banter, and a gentle sendup of the region’s culture — from bar etiquette and bedding opinions to generational etiquette and sports mishaps.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Bar Banter, Burger Challenges & Midwest Bedding (00:00 - 13:47)

• Burger Challenge & Bar Culture: The hosts joke about an in-bar challenge—four double cheeseburgers in under 10:29 for $45 (“I don’t think I got a prayer, Miles.” - Charlie, 00:29).
• Pull Tabs & Etiquette: Celebrating unexpected small winnings and the art of reinvesting your pull-tab cash for “the hundo.”
• Generational Changes: The death of the “top sheet” and the evolving etiquette of unannounced social visits — with the hosts lamenting how millennials and Gen Z text instead of dropping by.
  • “Boomers used to just stop over unannounced at their friend's house… Watch any sitcom from the 90s, people just show up.” — Myles (03:04)
  • The merits and pitfalls of keeping the “top sheet,” poutine, bedding strategies, and the deep horror of smelling the wrong side of a hotel comforter.

Generational Weirdness, Dads, Ring Doorbells & Fetishes (13:48 - 20:48)

• Drop-ins: Myles reflects on his dad being the only person today who’ll “just stop by.”
  • “It's a fair weather stop-buyer.” - Charlie (10:03)
  • Classic coffee-and-cookies hospitality: “My nana… would always have a pot of coffee and a Folgers can of cookies just ready to go.” — Charlie (10:13)
• Ring Doorbells & Overprotection: The Ring doorbell as a symbol of the end of random social interaction.
  • “The Ring doorbell is the downfall of society 100%.” — Myles (12:10)
• Millennials vs. Boomers: Who’s responsible for oversexualizing mascots? “I think furries really popped off when college mascots started getting overly sexualized.” — Charlie (17:18)
• Boomer Kinks and Furries: Open (and not so open) generational secrets, leading to a riff about foot fetishes and furry conventions.
  • "Do you think boomers have foot fetishes or is that a new thing?" — Charlie (16:31)

Call-In Segment: Aaron & The Doomed JV Softball Team (27:29 - 66:17)

Introduction & Aaron’s Situation (27:29 - 30:39)

• Aaron’s Background: 22-year-old recently let go from her dairy farm job, now coaching JV softball in Michigan's “Thumb.”
• Dairy Industry Struggles: Financial hardship shuttering local dairy farms.
  • “All of the milking herd is gone… distributed between Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana and my home state of Michigan.” — Aaron (28:22)

Softball Team Chaos: Injuries, Jokes & Mayhem (33:04 - 40:28)

• Team Health Woes: A barrage of early-season injuries—twisted knee, concussion from a medicine ball, and depleted numbers.
  • “Honestly Myles, it's gonna be rough. We already had three injuries last week.” — Aaron (34:04)
  • “[She] went to Crow hop, and down she went.” — Aaron describing a player’s injury (34:17)
• JV Hazards: Dangers of simulating athletic drills indoors.
  • “One of the girls popped it up and almost busted the scoreboard.” — Aaron (40:36)
• Helen Keller Jokes: The team’s preferred comic relief, to the exasperation (and secret amusement) of their young coach.
  • “I think Helen Keller could hit the ball faster than I could because my batting average sucks.” — Aaron’s team member (59:03)

Coaching Struggles & Strategies (41:02 - 54:29)

• The Challenge of Authority: Aaron struggles with being viewed more as a friend than a coach.
  • “I think I'm so young that they see me more as a friend instead of their coach.” — Aaron (42:31)
• Discipline vs. Fun: Debating whether to go “full hard-ass” or bond through mutual resentment, as per classic motivational tactics.
  • “You gotta go just watch the Led Tasso episode.” — Myles, referencing Ted Lasso as hard-ass inspiration (42:45)
  • “Make them feel terrible about themselves and hate you so they bond together.” — Myles (43:09)
  • “Just start blaming players, like, calling them out.” — Myles (48:52)
• Coaching Technique: The “check out” method — letting the team run their own practice to force leadership to emerge.
  • “It’ll actually, they’ll start to organize… and then you don’t have to do anything.” — Myles (53:10)

Team Morale & Final Message (54:31 - 66:17)

• The Ugly Bearcats: The unfortunate autocorrect of “Ubly Bearcats” has morale implications. “Are you guys sick of people calling you the Ugly Bearcats?” — Charlie (56:35)
• Locker Room Pep Talk:
  • “Coach Aaron cares about you guys a lot, but you guys need to step it up and start taking this seriously. No more Helen Keller jokes!” — Myles (56:49)
  • “If you did get injured, call 1-855-NICOLETTE…” — Charlie (57:27, riffing on legal radio ads)
• Mental Game: Aaron admits to laughing at inappropriate jokes, but attempts to maintain discipline.
  • “You cannot say that. If we say that on the field, you will be benched…” — Aaron (59:24)
• Coaching the Hosts… Back: The hosts turn the tables, having Aaron roast them and deliver a motivational speech for podcast improvement.
  • “Miles, you can't talk about Charlie's divorce as much… Charlie, sometimes you gotta give Miles the benefit of the doubt on his ideas.” — Aaron (60:45)
• Life Advice & Midwest Resilience:
  • “One foot in front of the other.” — Charlie (64:31)
  • “If you're going through hell, keep on going. If you're scared, don't show it.” — Myles (64:33)
• Farm Life Parallel:
  • “You're wrangling cows, you're wrangling teenagers, good luck with that.” — Myles (65:40)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I think society peaked at the Chrysler LeBaron… somewhere around there.” — Charlie, musing on the waning of societal spontaneity (12:41)
• "I try not to sniff hotel items." — Myles, on germ-phobic travel (07:02)
• “I mean, you’re just… have you lost the locker room?” — Myles, questioning Aaron’s grip on her team (42:04)
• “Just start bullying these kids to their face like they did in the 90s…” — Charlie (48:52)
• “If you lose the job, it’s not the end of the world.” — Myles, on the (meager) stakes of JV coaching (54:16)
• "Everything feels like a failure in the middle. You got this." — Myles (64:12)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |---------------|----------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Banter at 1029 Bar, burger challenge | | 03:04 | Generational etiquette—unannounced visits | | 12:10 | Ring Doorbell: "downfall of society" | | 17:18 | Midwest mascot/furry culture riff | | 27:29 | Aaron the caller introduced | | 34:04 | “This team is doomed!”: JV softball injury report | | 42:31 | Coaching authority: peer vs. boss | | 53:10 | Letting the team "organize themselves" | | 56:02 | Team: “Ugly Bearcats” pep talk | | 59:03 | Sample Helen Keller joke from the team | | 60:34 | Aaron gives hosts a motivational speech | | 64:12 | “Everything feels like a failure in the middle.” | | 65:40 | “Wrangling cows, wrangling teenagers…” |

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Episode Tone

The tone is characteristically midwestern—self-effacing, dry-witted, with hearty doses of playful ribbing and grassroots compassion. Despite the outlandish situations, the core message remains: life is unpredictable and often ridiculous, but connection, whether at the bar, on the field, or between generations, is what matters most.

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In Sum

This episode is a quintessential slice of Bellied Up’s comedic tapestry—raucous, heartfelt, occasionally absurd, but always grounded in Midwestern camaraderie. Whether you’re wrangling a herd of cows, a team of teenagers, or just the ghosts of tradition, take it one foot in front of the other, and don’t forget to tip your bartender.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast. I'm here with Charlie.

[B]

Hi, Miles.

[A]

We're at the 1029 Bar again, hanging out with the patrons.

[B]

Yep. They're trying to get us to do the burger challenge. $45. Eat four double cheeseburgers in under 10 minutes, 29 seconds.

[A]

House double cheeseburger, an onion double cheeseburger, a wedge double cheeseburger, and a mushroom double cheeseburger. You got to eat all that? 10 minutes, 29 seconds.

[B]

I don't think I got a prayer, Miles.

[A]

No. God, no. And I already had a lobster sandwich.

[B]

Did you get the lobster sandwich?

[A]

Connecticut. The Connecticut roll, I think is what it was called. Very good. I mean, remember that we went to Smack Shack here in Minneapolis? That seafood place?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you laughing at?

[B]

Just the name is Smack.

[A]

Yeah, it's called Smackship. They have Smack Shop food here, so.

[B]

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, they caught him fresh out of Mississippi this morning.

[A]

Did you get the lobster poutine or.

[B]

No, I didn't. I should. I've been told. That's what I was told. But see, I'm not, you know, poutine. And me, I'm not an anti poutine guy, but it's not my first go.

[A]

But you're on antibiotics, so that's okay.

[B]

Poutine's good for the antibiotics. It helps them to really simmer. I'm almost off them. I'm not contagion.

[A]

I don't say, like said, you just started them.

[B]

Well, anyways, a couple days ago.

[A]

So, Charlie, I was thinking the other day, the millennials have killed a lot of things. The top sheet. The. You know that.

[B]

The top sheet.

[A]

Yeah. Like, millennials don't use top sheets anymore. They just get rid of it. Just got the sheet that they lay on and then the comforter.

[B]

You know, this. Oh, pull tabs.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, that's really nice. Thank you very much. Well, we'll. We'll open to these. Should we just see what we have here? Oh, my God.

[A]

These are. These are for this bar.

[B]

I won twelve dollars already. Twelve hundred pennies.

[A]

They got their own pull tab here.

[B]

Oh, that's awesome. Dude, how often do you find a bar with their own pull tabs? Oh, they got bras. Look at this. Bikes, bras,

[A]

karaoke.

[B]

Yeah, we were just commenting on that. That's impressive. No, we'll give it back to you.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's your money.

[B]

I mean, there is an etiquette with that whole thing. Did you. You got 12 over there, too. What A sh. What a. You must have picked the right one, man.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Nothing. Here's your $12.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Go, go. Reinvest.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Rest of us got nothing.

[A]

What I was trying to say, Chuck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Millennials and younger. The boomers used to. They used to just stop over unannounced at their friend's house. Oh, yeah, we don't do that anymore.

[B]

No, it's kind of like texting them. You know, it's. You interrupt someone's day with a text. Now. You used to interrupt their day by just walking over, like, watch any sitcom from the 90s. People just show up.

[A]

Sitcoms set today. Which wouldn't be funny because no one just shows up.

[B]

Yeah. They're like, who. Who does?

[A]

Oh, I just got a text. That's boring. Yeah, I remember I'd be like, at home, and it'd be like, Tuesday evening, we just finished dinner. My parents. Friends would stop by.

[B]

Yeah, they were in the neighborhood.

[A]

They were in the neighborhood, and they'd hammer beer. Still bedtime, you know, I mean, like, we're not doing that anymore. I think, like, the only spot that maybe that happens is in smaller rural areas, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But even then, you know, it's. It's a longer haul to get over there. But, you know, if you're on your way back, I mean, there's a lot of things that the boomers are doing. Right. That we could learn from. Like, you know, you ever see a boomer in a locker room? No shame in the game. Just hanging brain bell, belly to belly. Hanging brain, hanging brain. Just. They don't care.

[A]

No, it's just.

[B]

It's. It's the time in life to be free and.

[A]

But don't you think that we should. We should start stopping over at friend's house unannounced?

[B]

I think we should do that.

[A]

Does that stress you out? Because it's. I think it would be fun at my house most of the time if my buddies showed up.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

So I was getting excited. Miles is getting my. My beer is hanging brain right now.

[A]

But what I'm saying is, is like. But the thought for me to just show up to Jared's house unannounced, I would be like, I shouldn't do that. Because he's going to be like, why the fuck are you here?

[B]

He's going to be like, are you letting me go? You know, I mean.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's a bad example.

[B]

Boss, do you need to bury a body back?

[A]

Get a hon.

[B]

Are you serious? You Hit a Honda with that. Becca did it. She's, she's, she's the goat. Oh, hell yeah, dude. That's, that's, that's why you invest, guys. That's why you do it. Right there. Hit a hundo on the pull tabs. Yeah, I, I think we got to bring that back because. What's the downside to it?

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. It's just like we've gotten to a point we're on our phone so much that we don't like surprise interactions. Everything's got to be planned. But I think we need to. It would be good for generations after this to bring that back in their life.

[B]

People get upset when you call them instead of text them.

[A]

I know. Where are we at?

[B]

I know.

[A]

Imagine if, if, like Gen Z, in a few years when they, like, are in the workforce more and shit. Like, imagine like just your buddy just showing up to your apartment.

[B]

Yeah. Call the police. You know, I think that it's important to, you know, take the beneficial stuff, leave the detrimental stuff. There's a lot that the boomers had that wasn't quite as good. Like duvet covers. I don't think we need those. I'm just gonna say that.

[A]

Or the top sheet.

[B]

What? I don't know what this top sheet thing is.

[A]

That's because you're a millennial. You don't even know what it is.

[B]

Or is it Gen Z that likes the top sheet?

[A]

So, like, you go to a hotel, you lay on the sheet that's fitted, right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You pull back the covers. There's the top comforter.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Then there's another sheet that comes with that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Millennials aren't using those anymore.

[B]

They're just sweating all over their comforter.

[A]

They're getting comforters that you can wash.

[B]

Okay, well, there's the comforters with the sheets on the comforters in the hotels. Have you seen that? They like. It's like a sheet duvet.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Do you ever smell the comforter accidentally and you're like, oh, God, I wish that was a sheet right now, because they have not watched that at all.

[A]

I try not to sniff hotel items.

[B]

Sometimes you're trying to take deep breaths before you sleep and you just smell the wrong end of a. Of a.

[A]

If I'm in a situation where I got to be taking deep breaths, usually like, maybe I had too much to drink. Yeah. I don't have the covers on.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I don't even.

[A]

I'm trying to stay cool and. Or I didn't have the wherewithal to pull the covers back, you know?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, how are they doing that? They just go like when they're too hot and they got the meat sweats. What are they covering up? Nothing, just raw dogging it.

[A]

Well, if you're a true professional, you stick one leg out, start.

[B]

That is smart.

[A]

You gotta put two dogs out, then you do.

[B]

Or have you ever done the horseshoe where it's just leaving, you know, from knees to nipples. Just leave that open.

[A]

I am. Oh, wow.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you. I am. I. I mean I'm in my zero G era, you know?

[B]

Zero G era?

[A]

Yeah, with my bed. Remember I told you about that?

[B]

Than.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. The.

[A]

Yeah. So what I found is, is when I get scrunched up in zero G because your feet are higher, you're not as tall. So I have too much comforter now. Oh, my bed. So now I have to have a routine where I like fold it over and it all ends up in my midsection. So it's. I'm still figuring that part out.

[B]

You can't do that after ribeye.

[A]

No. God no.

[B]

What is it with rib eyes that just make you all hot and bothered at 2am, Miles?

[A]

I don't know. It's the meat sweats. Yeah, yeah. That last time we were together I did.

[B]

I did. Yeah. And I haven't learned my lesson. I did again the other night, but here we are. Some people live and learn. I just live.

[A]

You know. You get delayed onset meat sweats.

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

Delayed. Yeah. You get doms, which normally is delayed on muscle soreness. Delayed onset muscle soreness. But you got delayed onset meat sweats.

[B]

Doms. I like that. I'm a. I can go to a bar and say I'm a dom's, you know, see what happens.

[A]

Be careful which bar you're doing that.

[B]

Uh huh. You never know.

[A]

Yeah, I just get it right there on the spot. I'll get the meat sweats right then and there.

[B]

Well, let's back up a second here. Miles, do you. Would you actually want your dad to just show up unannounced?

[A]

He's the only person that does that.

[B]

What's he. Does he have an out? Does he have like he brought you something so he can leave at any time? Does he. Is he running the option, you know, or is he just coming to hang out?

[A]

No, like it's usually like he owns a concrete business and so that if he's usually got a job nearby, he'll just drive by, he'll walk up or like maybe he'll drive by and be. See that we're in the backyard. So he'll just come out to the backyard.

[B]

That's nice. You like that?

[A]

He doesn't do it in the winter, I can tell you that much.

[B]

You know, it's a fair weather.

[A]

Stop. Buyer.

[B]

And does he ever want anything? What's his go to? Any food, any beverage or coffee, stop

[A]

and say, what's up?

[B]

My.

[A]

The best.

[B]

My nana, she had a rotating door at her house where all her kids would kind of stop by on their way. So she would always have a pot of coffee and a Folgers can of cookies just ready to go. She had so many cookies. She had them down in the freezer because she had 11 kids and Chicago chocolate chip. They were money and. But yeah, pot of coffee always on.

[A]

Yeah. It's kind of like a hotel lobby.

[B]

Exactly. Yes. And that was. That was great. Well, I think we should bring it back. What is the. What's like if someone wants to start just stopping by, what would you recommend they do?

[A]

I think you just. You gotta commit.

[B]

You commit.

[A]

You know, I think the first time definitely have a good excuse for stopping.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Because you're gonna catch him by surprise.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, just being like, hey, I was in the neighborhood and I forgot I had to bring you this, you know?

[B]

Yeah, that's. That's running the option. That's where you can do a shovel pass and get the hell out of there.

[A]

Or do you do that a couple times, then after that you just say, hey, I'm just stopping by to see what's up.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And once you get to that point, that's all you need. There's no. You don't need a reason after a while.

[B]

Do you ever remember a time someone popped by and it wasn't a good time?

[A]

Usually someone trying to like get me to be a Jehovah Witness or something like that.

[B]

Dude, Jehovah's Witnesses really do. Is it Jehovah or Jehovah's?

[A]

They got Jehovah's Witness.

[B]

J Dubs, you got to hand it to those guys, man. They are all face to face communication.

[A]

I saw we had a door to door window cleaning salesman in our neighborhood the other day, and. And I was actually like, you know what? I respect the game. I don't need my windows clean, but I respect.

[B]

Did you get a card for when you did need your windows clean?

[A]

I wasn't home. My wife was home. She didn't answer the door. She just. She just stared at him on the ring. Doorbell.

[B]

See, that's what we got to get rid of. We got to get rid of the ring.

[A]

The ring. Doorbell is the downfall of society 100%. The Ring app, I had someone in. You know the ring? The app that comes with it you can post in your neighborhood. I had someone put in there that. Did anyone receive a red omelet maker? I'm looking for it, and it got delivered to the wrong house. And I just don't need to get a notification on my phone for someone else's red omelet maker as you're sitting

[B]

there making an omelette out of that red omelet maker. How rude.

[A]

Oh, God. Wonder if it's this one.

[B]

Yeah. That apps are that. I think society peaked at the Chrysler LeBaron. You know, do. Do explain why, like, 1996, you know, 95. Somewhere around there. Because what you're talking about.

[A]

Because in 93, a bunch of people were born that just ruined it.

[B]

Yeah, well, and the people raised them. We can't be all to blame, right?

[A]

Joke. Because I was born in 93.

[B]

Oh, so I just insulted your parents. Damn. Didn't mean to do that.

[A]

No, go ahead. Tell Bud Mayer how you feel listening to this. I know they are.

[B]

Bud, Mary Jane, I respect you guys very much. How Miles has turned out is not on you. Okay? That's. At some point, he had to make his own life decisions, and here we

[A]

are, a few bad apples I was hanging out with, like you.

[B]

Yeah, I might have. I might have steered you down some wrong paths from a time or two, Miles. All right, so we got the. The we want. Do we want to bring back the top sheet? I'm a fan of the top.

[A]

No, I used to use the top sheet. My wife kibosh that, so I don't use one anymore, and I don't think I have no need to go back.

[B]

So you wash the comforter, then.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. But it's such a pain in the ass to dry, you know?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it takes six to seven times to go through it.

[B]

When was the last time you did your sheets, Mouse?

[A]

Few weeks ago.

[B]

Okay. All right, cool.

[A]

I mean, college.

[B]

No, I'm just saying.

[A]

I mean, in college, though.

[B]

Yeah, it was the whole year once.

[A]

You know, at the end of the semester, you take it home. God, you know?

[B]

Yeah. You just. You just see an oil spill in the set tub afterwards, you know?

[A]

Yeah. You know, you've heard of rotating your bed? I just rotate the sheets.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So I can get two semesters out of them.

[B]

Smart. Yeah. You Just turn them around and then you flip them over.

[A]

Yeah. So yeah, basically you're halfway through college before having to wash your sheets until

[B]

you're sticking to them. Like, you know, like if you. If they stick as you're sitting up, you're fine. But if they start pulling you back down, it's time to get yourself some.

[A]

You want us. I'm really just bouncing about my sheets.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is in college working out all the time. I used to get really bad calluses on my feet. So they're real rough. And I wore holes in my sheets from where my feet were.

[B]

Really?

[A]

That's how gross they were.

[B]

And I bet you just had. It looked like it was snowing on the bottom half of your bed.

[A]

God. Looks like someone was eating spaghetti here. Is that parmesan? I spilled some parmesan.

[B]

This is great podcast conversation. This good table talk.

[A]

My calluses were so bad. I don't know if I've said this on this podcast that the athletic trainer, before they shaved them off, like quite literally, they took a scalpel to my calluses. They didn't. The cheese grater wasn't doing it anymore.

[B]

Really? Really.

[A]

I literally had to use a knife to cut the calluses off my heels. They're so bad. The athletic trainer asked if she could take photos before. Before they cut them off so she could use them in her class as an example of how bad they can get.

[B]

If she was smart, she should have done a time lapse video that would have crushed on Instagram right now.

[A]

Also, I just realized that maybe she was just selling them online.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Maybe the athletic trainer was saying she was using it for educational purposes, but really just. I'm on feet finder somewhere in the underneath the callus tab. Hey, there's a number one influencer on feet finder for the calluses.

[B]

There's a kink for everyone. Do you think boomers have foot fetishes or is that a new thing?

[A]

I think they got all the fetishes that the younger generations do that they just are so closeted. They're this closeted of all generations.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like there's definitely boomers out there that want to be a furry.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like we didn't just like evolve and all of a sudden people wanted to be furries. It would just made it our society just said it was okay to put on some cat ears and use a litter box. But there's. There's boomers that are like, God, born too late.

[B]

You know, Would you Agree with me. I think so. I think for the furries, like, there

[A]

was a medieval furries, for sure.

[B]

Yeah. They just didn't have the. The necessary things. I think furries really popped off when college mascots started getting overly sexualized. Do explain that. Like Bucky, you see him doing like all those push ups after the game. And you've got a lot of gals out there and fellas, too, going, damn, that badger's ripped, dude. I wonder what else he can do, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's not wearing pants. I mean, they're like, let me see, Let me see what's going on under that jersey.

[A]

The Oregon Duck doesn't wear pants. I don't think.

[B]

No, A lot of them are just pants handless. And we just accept that and that, you know, that began so again, boomers started a lot of these things that.

[A]

Yes. I think historians will say that boomers are credited with over sexualizing sports mascots.

[B]

Yeah, Certainly that will go down in history. So it's. It's. Just because we are who we are doesn't mean we weren't built by another generation, you know, so it's. It's passing the buck, you know, it's also mango.

[A]

We didn't start the fire.

[B]

No, it's always been burning. And since the world's been turning and we're just. We're just trying to put it out a flame at a time, and sometimes we just fan the flames. You ever been to a furry convention?

[A]

Why would I ever have been there?

[B]

Just because you're in Vegas for something and then, oh, there's some furries. How was it? Wow. Now, I wasn't in Vegas. It was somewhere.

[A]

What year was this?

[B]

This was, I don't know, 2011 or something.

[A]

Okay, so you were hot early on, the furries.

[B]

Well, I knew that this subculture existed also. I did some 2011.

[A]

I was a senior in high school.

[B]

Yeah, well, I was just trying to make my bones doing whatever I could, you know?

[A]

Yeah, you're getting your bones at the furry convention.

[B]

No, I was just a casual observer, but I liked what they were bringing to the table. It was inventive. It was, you know, a little warm, admittedly, like, if you're talking the desert,

[A]

it's a bad place for a furry convention. They doing that in Anchorage.

[B]

I. I forgive just the smells. You start. If you're in those furry costumes, you start to smell like these animals. Some people. Some people take it to the next level and they put the pheromones of the animals on there.

[A]

Disgusting.

[B]

It's not. Hey, do not kink shame on this podcast. Miles, this is an open podcast, okay? Please apologize.

[A]

Someone's just walking around with. With dough urine and dough estrus on them or what?

[B]

Now that I didn't know. But I did smell some badgers. I did smell. No, I didn't. I didn't smell. It's just I. I heard that that was a thing, and to be honest with you, I didn't verify it. So, Jerry, let's look it up on your computer.

[A]

Company computer. Do not look that up.

[B]

Maybe someone out there is a furry. And honestly, if someone out there is a furry, we would love you guys to call in. We. We'd love to just get to know

[A]

a ton of questions.

[B]

So many questions.

[A]

Like, a ton of questions.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And what animal would you say, Miles, that you would be most. What would be your gateway animal into the furry world? Keep in mind, these aren't actual animals, so I'm so time off.

[A]

Are you asking me what animal I'm most sexually attracted to or just.

[B]

God, did I say that? I don't think I did, but kind of perverted that you just did my house. Oh, my God, Jerry, did you hear that?

[A]

What did you think? What did you. What were you trying to say?

[B]

Just which one? Would you want to take a selfie with you, you weirdo?

[A]

Dude. All right. I don't know. Can't. Kangaroo Jack.

[B]

Kangaroo would be cool.

[A]

Or Jackie. I suppose the female one would.

[B]

You.

[A]

Kangaroo. Jackie could be a good time.

[B]

You boxer. And then.

[A]

Anyways, hugger. Well, Charles.

[B]

Yes, Miles? Should we. We touch on a lot of things here at 10:29.

[A]

This is a bustling bar, by the way.

[B]

Oh, my God, dude. This is where the professionals hang out.

[A]

And also, this is. This is what we need in America.

[B]

It is.

[A]

People from all walks of life are here right now at this bar. It's a melting pot of people, and everyone's having a great time.

[B]

And in a lot of ways, I think the bar. To wrap it all up, put a bow on it. The bar is a nice way to bring back the. Stopping off at someone's house. If you think about a bar as just someone else's house, you know, and. And it's a welcoming place. So just borrow from the bar for your garage. Yeah. And, you know, I agree. Yeah, it's good.

[A]

That's the gateway.

[B]

That's a gateway right there. Okay, Miles, let's do this. Let's take some callers. What do you think?

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Opening day energy Miles, it's undefeated. Everyone's outside. Grills are firing up. People are tossing a ball around like they're trying out for the big leagues. But no one stretched. Nobody's warmed up. Everyone thinks it's still, you know, 20 years ago and they're 22 and the next thing you know, someone steps in a hole in the yard and the ankle is gone. Or you're chasing a fly ball and you trip over a cooler that shouldn't have been there. And now your shoulders not doing what it used to. And then you got people driving home after the big long day in the sun, not paying attention. And damn, this is the worst day of your life. What are you going to do, Miles?

[A]

I'm calling Nicolette. Charlie. This is no other option for me.

[B]

That's it. 1-855- Nicolette or go to nicolay law.com nicola.

[A]

Charlie, I like your sunglasses.

[B]

I like your sunnies.

[A]

Look like you're about to go catch a fly ball for the softball team.

[B]

Thank you very much. Isn't he underhand? Yeah, yeah. Slow pitch softball.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. I'm about to go pull a calf.

[A]

How they feel?

[B]

Feel great again. These lenses so clear. Crystal clear.

[A]

Your glasses are so smudgy, it's incredible.

[B]

Look at these things. I could bike with these.

[A]

Miles, those are great biking glasses. Guys, Charlie's got on his new Shady Rays, which is nice because it's. It's bright in this bar with that light on for us.

[B]

I know, it's really good. And are these ones polarized too? Let me see. Yes, they are. Yeah. So you can bike to the fishing hole with these suckers, Miles.

[A]

And guys, this is a perfect time of year to be looking at sunglasses. Oh, yeah, they're starting to turn. You're spending more time outside, maybe going fishing. Need some polarized glasses. Maybe you're on the softball team. Maybe you're playing some golf. You gotta go to Shady Raise and pick up some glasses.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And the nice thing about these mouse, they feel like a million bucks. They cost a fraction of those.

[A]

They do not cost a million bucks.

[B]

They feel like a million bucks.

[A]

They feel like a million bucks, but they do not cost that. And that's what we like about Shady Rays. And they're polarized lenses.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

That cut the glare hard. Super clear. Which you found out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You need to get some Shady Ray's prescription glasses.

[B]

I should. I should. I actually think I am. I think we are. Yeah. I just updated my. My lenses. Yeah.

[A]

You're gonna be seeing clear for like at least a couple days until you smudge them all.

[B]

Probably like eight hours. But I bet I could use the case to wipe them clean because that looks like a nice case right there.

[A]

And what I like about Shade Rage, they have a plethora of style options. They got the sportier ones like you got.

[B]

You got the JFK over there.

[A]

These are the Blues Brothers style. They got av. They got it all. So go to Shady Rays, check out their stuff. Use code bellied up, you get 40% off. You heard that right, Chuck? 40% off. Two or more.

[B]

Sign me.

[A]

Polarized, polarized sunglasses.

[B]

These are slick. I'm gonna steal these from you, Miles.

[A]

I know. I knew you'd like those. All right, Charlie, you got your. We got our Brunt sweatshirts on. What do you think of my new blue camo sweatshirt?

[B]

I like it, dude. If I was. If you were like trying to hunt from the ocean, I'd be like, damn.

[A]

It's true. It's a very. It's a very nautical style camo sweatshirt.

[B]

Yeah. On a cloudy day, you would be unstoppable. Hunting from the ocean there, Miles. We.

[A]

We're at a bar and there's a couple of blue collar guys, and they're high vis. They've been bellied up since noon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they were asking us what we thought of the Brunt sweats. Brunt gear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They should get someone. We just said, the fact that you don't got it is kind of a mistake.

[B]

I think you should go over there right now, give them a game worn jersey.

[A]

I should. I should grab some of our Brunt gear and go give it to him. But that's what I like about it is I can wear it as a cool looking sweatshirt. You can wear it on the job site. You can wear it when you're doing projects out in the backyard. Their boots are great. You got the slip on? Boots.

[B]

I got the slip. I got a few different boots.

[A]

You're gonna the age where you just are done bending over.

[B]

See, I'm waiting for him to make those Velcro boots. But they'll get there.

[A]

We'll talk to them.

[B]

We'll talk. See if they can put that there.

[A]

So, guys, if you want some great workwear, you got to go to bruntworkwear.com. check out all the gear they got. They got awesome boots, awesome sweatshirts, awesome work pants. I just got a new pair of work pants from them. And I'm gonna. On the next round, I'll give you the update on them. I gotta wear them And I'll tell you what I think of them.

[B]

And I've liked your ass in those work pants smiles. I've noticed it. I've noticed you've been doing some squats.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, they do accentuate.

[A]

So, guys, go to bruntworkwear.com use code bellied up, get 10 bucks off your order. Check them out.

[C]

This is Aaron.

[B]

Hey, Aaron. I'm Charlie and this is my buddy Miles. And we're both here at the bar and we love for you to belly on up to the bar with us.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited, to be honest. I was like, holy crap, this is actually going to happen.

[B]

So, yeah, here it is. It's all happening. Aaron, what's on your mind?

[A]

What are you doing today?

[C]

Well, honestly, I. So last week the farm I work at sold all the cows. So this week I'm home just trying to figure some things out. And I got my room clean and got the cows all happy out in my own pasture and stuff today before the storms came in.

[B]

Oh, that's good. I didn't realize we had storms coming in today. That's the difference between you and me. Wait, what'd you say? You said you sold some cows. I might have misheard you.

[C]

So I worked on a dairy farm for five and a half years, like my senior year of high school to last Friday, and they actually sold out all the cows. So all of the milking herd is gone, distributed between Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, and my home state of Michigan.

[B]

Why? Why'd they move on?

[C]

There's some financial things that are going on in the dairy industry. I'm not an expert by any means, so I won't say anything like that. But just financially, things were getting hard and they felt it was the right time to spend time with their, their two kids. So I. I don't envy them at all. So it was, it was the right decision for them and I'm happy for them, even though I'm sad that some of my best cows. Less so.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure that's tough. Shout out to all of our dairy farmers out there. It is tough.

[A]

It's tough business right now without them. We don't got Wisconsin cheese.

[B]

No, no, no. Or milk or butter.

[A]

I've been, I've been. I've been hammering whole milk now that I got a kid.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Bowl of cereal with a, with a. With whole milk. It's Is unreal.

[B]

And it's just like, will you stop eating the fruity pebble smiles?

[C]

She's.

[B]

Did she get.

[C]

Once you go whole milk, you're not gonna go back.

[A]

We were actually talking about that. Me and Jared were the other day.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you're. So you're jobless right now?

[C]

As of the moment, yes. But I'm applying the things and my dad has a company, so I'm going to do some paperwork for him until I get things and then just bounce around other farms.

[A]

Nice stuff.

[C]

Like this is like a very new thing that happened. I literally got told a month ago that I was going to lose my job, so.

[A]

Well, if you need an endorsement on LinkedIn, we'll give that to you, by the way.

[C]

All right, cool.

[B]

Sounds like she doesn't care about that endorsement, Miles.

[A]

She's like, what's that going to do for me? What. How, how old are you? What the difference between the other caller who thought LinkedIn was the way to the future?

[C]

I'm 22, so I'm pretty. I'm pretty young. I mean, honestly, I went to a community college for two years, got my associate to science. I was like, you know what? I like the cows. I'm going to go hang out with them. So now I'm like, oh, now what do I do? But it'll be.

[B]

Be.

[C]

It'll be cool.

[A]

What do you like better? What do you like better about cows than you do humans?

[C]

Oh, they're not as judgy and rude. They. I mean, they can be, don't get me wrong. But I mean, we had one jump over the gate while we were trying to take her collar off, so that was. That was fun.

[B]

Cow with hops. I like that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was pretty high gate too. I was. We were kind of impressed.

[B]

That is impressive. I don't. I've never seen that before. Yeah, what is.

[A]

I'm sorry, I have to pause. Frank just showed up, by the way.

[B]

Oh, is that Frank over there?

[A]

The way he's looking at us, we're sitting in his spot.

[B]

Oh, are we?

[A]

Which is.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah. Well, he should be okay. He's counting.

[A]

He's all right. He's all right. Sorry, I just got a little distracted. There's. There's a sign up with his name, so.

[C]

No, you're good.

[B]

It says Frank too. We didn't mean to.

[A]

Yeah, that's just his name that, like, I'm not even embellishing.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

So what are you thinking of doing now?

[C]

There's a few job openings around me that are like customer service reps and stuff, and they're like companies that are ag based, but Then I don't have to be out in the cold winter and stuff like that. Because honestly, my co worker would tell you that I. I'm the worst person be working with when it's super cold out, so.

[B]

And where are you at right now?

[C]

I'm in the thumb of Michigan.

[B]

Ah, the thumb of Michigan. Okay.

[C]

I mean, I know you got some beef with that. Charlie, how you say that? We're not really a thumb and stuff.

[A]

Just anyone with a brain can see that with Michigan looks way more like a mitten than Wisconsin.

[C]

Well, that's exactly it.

[B]

We don't need to go down this road for the 30th time on this podcast, Miles.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I figured we probably didn't need to do that.

[A]

You brought it up.

[C]

Okay, Aaron, I. I know I brought it up. I know I brought it up. I think I left it in my voicemail, and honestly, I think I left the voicemail a month ago. And if you asked me what it was about, I have no idea. So I was gonna be like, yo, Jared, can you bring it up so I remember what it is?

[A]

Yeah, Jared, what was in it?

[B]

Something about you need advice for being a JV softball coach.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Oh, you're a JV softball coach?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

What car. What kind of car do you drive?

[C]

I am a Jeep Grand Cherokee kind of driver. 2014.

[A]

Makes sense.

[C]

Got lots of cargo space for all the gear.

[B]

So, wait, do we find out, you

[A]

know, what else has a lot of cargo space?

[B]

What's that?

[A]

Some maybe with a hatchback on it. Oh. I asked her what kind of car she drives. She said Jeep Wrangler.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, Grand Cherokee. Yeah.

[B]

Marley came. Came up and started talking pull tabs, so. My bad.

[A]

I love Marley, but I don't think he knows we're on a podcast.

[B]

I think he does and does not care.

[A]

One of the two.

[C]

Were you guys drinking today?

[A]

We're at the Ten29 Bar here in Minneapolis.

[C]

Oh, cool. Have no idea where that is, but that's awesome.

[B]

Yeah, it's just a hop, skip, and a jump over the other state. That looks more like a hand, but, you know, something to consider sometime.

[A]

So what's going on with the JV squad? How they looking this year?

[C]

Honestly, Miles, it's. It's gonna be rough. I think we already had. We already had three injuries last week, so.

[A]

Did Emily hurt her knee?

[C]

One girl did. She did hurt her knee. She twisted it throwing a ball. Don't ask me how. She just, like, went to Crow hop, and down she went. Twisted knee Kind of thing.

[A]

Were there waterworks involved?

[C]

There were. There were. Yeah. So we. We got her. We got her to the bench, and she was just chilling out. Ice pack out and everything. So we're. We're good with that. Another girl got a concussion last week.

[A]

How's that happen? Big, big play at the plate.

[C]

Oh, I wish that was what the deal was. I. I really wish it was hit with a pitch. Oh, it's even worse than that.

[B]

Charlie fell out of her car.

[C]

No, they can't drive quite yet. Okay.

[B]

Makes sense. JV yeah.

[C]

So we were inside because, you know, Michigan weather is probably a lot like Miss Wisconsin and North Dakota weather about this time of year. You get real good days, and you have days where it is cold as heck out.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

And it was a cold as heck day. And we were in the gym, and one of our drills was throwing a medicine ball, like, while twisting your hips to get the rotation to, you know, really line drive the ball. And the one girl threw the medicine ball to the other girl, and the girl took it to the face.

[B]

Damn. Did she call 188, Nicolette? 1851855. My bad.

[C]

She. She did not. We got. All of a sudden, we. I got pulled by one of the other students because we were doing a circuit, so I was helping with, like, the conditioning side of it, so making sure they were staying in their planks and stuff. And the girl's like, so. And so just got a hit in the face with a medicine ball. And so I was like, oh. And so I went over there, and we had to have her pinch her nose because she had a nosebleed. And so

[A]

it's not funny, but it's just like, you had a nosebleed to any injury, and it just makes it a little bit less serious in my mind. Like, it's like, oh, my God.

[B]

Especially when you're walking around with the tissues outside the nose, impossible to take

[A]

someone serious shoved up your nose. It's just how you supposed to take them seriously?

[B]

You just put two zins up there, you know?

[C]

Yeah. So.

[A]

So here's a question. This could have easily been avoided. If you're in a gym, why don't you just have them throw the medicine ball against the wall?

[B]

Smart.

[C]

Well, that was the varsity coach. She's awesome. And we were trying to, like, do it so that they would be trying at their reflexes and stuff. And we've done this drill, so I only graduated out of high school. It's gonna be five years this spring. And so she's doing this drill, like, when I was playing for her and stuff. So we're like, oh, this drill is no problem. You know, whatever. And then it began. Became a problem. So now we'll be throwing it against the wall for now on because we had. We had other injuries. I'll get there once we get this one done. But, yeah, it was just. It was terrible. We're just like, what the heck? In all of our years of doing this.

[A]

So it just takes one. They said that about 9 11, too. They said, what the heck? In all our years of doing this.

[C]

Yeah. Never happened.

[B]

Did you just bring up a 9 11?

[A]

I mean, this is kind of their 911, if you ask me. Right?

[B]

Yeah, I suppose they have to change

[A]

their whole system of operating now.

[B]

Now, this is the TSA line of.

[A]

Yeah, they have to throw it against the wall. That's new TSA measures.

[B]

So do you think you're going to stick with the softball career path, or are you giving up on it?

[C]

We're going to stick with. Stick it out. As long as, like, my next job is flexible with the schedule because that's the biggest thing that I'm worried about with being the new job is the flexibility, because the schedule for softball is 3 to 5, so I have to be leaving early. And it's just. That's gonna be the hardest thing. Along with games, like, if we have to go to somewhere an hour away. So that'll be the hardest thing, which, I mean, if I have to hang the coat up temporarily, then I can. But we'll. We'll see.

[A]

Do you guys have to wear the uniform like baseball coaches do?

[C]

No, I. I luckily can wear a pair of leggings and an ugly shirt like the shirt of the sky school.

[A]

So that's good. I think it's absurd that baseball managers wear the uniform.

[B]

I kind of like.

[A]

Yeah, like, if football coaches had to wear the full pads. Basketball. The coaches out there with these. With these basketball shorts on with it. With an arm sleeve on.

[B]

I 100 think that you should do that as a video.

[C]

That would be. That would be pretty funny.

[B]

The guys in the side of the ring are just, so what.

[A]

So what do we got to do to turn these girls around? Get them back on the winning. Winning side.

[C]

Honestly, I think we just need a lot of focus. There's not. I mean, they're JV girls, so maturity is not there. But compared to last year's team, my maturity level that's there is just. Oh, my. Like, it's. It's insane.

[B]

What's happening. So they're getting less and less mature as the time goes by.

[C]

Yeah. So basically I have one girl that is. She's saying Helen Keller jokes. Like she.

[A]

That's just good clean fun. What do you mean?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

She sounds like the glue gal on the team.

[C]

Well, she. She kind of gets the team going, but then they can't like, focus, if that makes sense. So they get very.

[A]

Are you supposed to focus with a well played Helen Keller joke?

[C]

Sorry?

[B]

You know, the Helen Keller jokes, those go back years and years, though. I mean, that, that's pretty much. You get into high school, they give you a notebook, a Trapper Keeper, and then Helen keller jokes, all 12 of them. And so what. What else do we have?

[A]

It's also good to know that with all of the changes in society that the kids still think Helen Keller jokes are funny.

[B]

Yeah. You know, like, some things will always be there and I guess that's one of them. Enough times passed.

[C]

We also have. We almost busted the scoreboard in the gym. That's like four years new. Because they did. Because they didn't think to pull the bow net that we hit into closer to the. Where they're batting. So one of the girls popped it up and almost busted the scoreboard. And it was just. We're already not in great terms with the school money wise.

[B]

Why, because you've gotten sued so many times for the injuries?

[C]

No, no, not that. It's just like we overbought equipment one time and so we're working on that.

[A]

You're in the doghouse, essentially, with the athletic director.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Well, that didn't answer my question of how we're going to turn this ship around. It just seemed like you're pointing out more problems.

[C]

Yeah, there's. I think, I think we're going to turn this around by some good old running and just.

[A]

Oh, God. Yeah. Nothing will turn the ship around more than. More than conditioning.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just, you know, hey, you guys don't have any talent, so let's just make you really conditioned. In a sport that requires no conditioning.

[C]

I mean, if it gets them to listen, then maybe we'll. I mean, we're working on other drills and stuff, but if they're not paying attention and I almost get hit in the head with a ball because they think it's funny to just whip balls at the coach while she's talking, then.

[A]

Well, question is, have you lost the locker room?

[B]

I think you have. Based off of what we've heard.

[C]

Yeah. Or we don't have like the locker room Meetings. We just have the dugout meetings. And those are like once or twice a week kind of thing because the head coach, she takes the rest of it. So it's just we're. We're struggling with it. So it's just I think I'm so young that they see me more as a friend instead of their coach.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Which, I mean, I'm okay with being friendly and goofing off and stuff. At the end of the day, we have to, you know, that. That boundary can't be crossed.

[A]

You gotta. You gotta go lead Tasso on them. You ever watch Ted Lasso before?

[C]

I have not.

[A]

You gotta go just watch the lead Tasso episode and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

[C]

Got it.

[A]

So.

[C]

Got it.

[A]

So you. I mean, if they view you as a friend, you gotta show up tomorrow at practice and be the biggest hard ass they've ever met in their entire life. Run them into the ground, tell them they're not good enough, because nothing will make them bond together more than hating you.

[B]

That's true. That is true.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. My co worker has told me that. He's like, aaron, you're not your friend. You're not their friend. You are their coach. You're there to make them better. You're not there to be bestie bestie and get all the dirt in school. So.

[B]

No.

[A]

Are you getting roped up in the gossip?

[B]

Give us some gossip going on around the high school right now.

[C]

Oh, boy. I mean, I know last year's gossip. They haven't told me much of this year's, but I know last year involved my brother because he was still in school then, and that was. That was some interesting stuff.

[A]

What's your brother been doing?

[C]

Oh, I mean, he's straightened out now because now he has a job to worry about and stuff. But before, there was a lot of. A lot of good old high school partying, which is fine, but on the drive back was the problem.

[A]

So your brother got a Dewey in high school?

[C]

He never got caught, but he did roll his truck a few times.

[A]

Tiger Woods.

[B]

Yeah, a couple times.

[A]

They call him LT Gray around the school now.

[C]

They probably could because you say his name and they're like, wait, you're his sister? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, holy, you got some stories, don't you? I'm like, I don't get involved with that. I'm like, nope, that's not my side of the thing. I'm not doing that.

[A]

Wow. Yeah. You got to straighten him out that's not good. That's dangerous.

[C]

Yeah, he's. He's gotten better, so that's, that's at least better. He's gotten a few good talking tos from when he shows. Shows up drunk. So I didn't. We're presuming he was underage drinking, you know, that whole. Yeah, that whole thing.

[B]

But what's he doing now?

[C]

He is driving melt truck, But he's interviewing to go to the local sheriff's department.

[B]

Oh, classic. That's the. That's a standard rotating door.

[A]

Oh, it's like. It's like catch me if you can. You gotta flip them. You know the guy who knows washing checks more than anyone is the guy who used to wash checks. Same with the police department. He knows the ins and outs.

[B]

She's 22. She doesn't know what washing checks is.

[A]

That's true. Do you know what a check is?

[C]

Yeah, I know what a check.

[A]

Have you ever wrote a check?

[C]

I have. I write lots of checks. Like to pay medical bills or like to pay my.

[A]

She's a signer for the school for

[C]

the medical bills or like to pay my cattle supplies off because, you know, they got to have the vet out every once in a while and that's, that's lots of fun. So.

[B]

How much did that school spend on injuries last year?

[C]

Oh, I've. I honestly have no idea. But I know this year it's just, just from this season and the past two weeks. It's just. It's probably not, it's probably not great. I'm not going to lie.

[A]

We have a, you know, like high school school sports. You gotta like sell like pizzas or like water softener salt to raise money for equipment. This softball team's got to do it just to pay for the medical bills.

[B]

They've just started selling drugs for the bigger profit margin.

[A]

Yeah, they had to sell coupon books door to door so I can pay for Emily's knee surgery.

[B]

Does the school pay for that?

[C]

They potentially could. I had to look into the concussion protocols and stuff for reports, and it seemed like, yes, they, they potentially could have to pay for it because we have a broken finger and a sprained wrist also, so.

[B]

Well, do not let those girls listen to this podcast because they'll know all about nicolaigua.com. yeah.

[A]

Yeah, you're definitely getting fired.

[B]

That may be the end of the softball team.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, right now we were already sitting at 10 girls and with one with a broken finger, we're down to nine. And depending on when the Twisted knee and the concussion and the sprained wrist comes back. I don't know if I'll have a team to play. So.

[A]

Play seven, man, seven. Woman softball.

[C]

I mean, we could, but I feel bad for my outfielder then, so. Especially against some of the big teams that hit bombs, but.

[B]

Yeah, no pun intended. But do you think they're milking these injuries at the all. Jared. Look at Jared.

[C]

I mean, Jared, you're. You're on the right track there. There's a few that probably are. So.

[A]

I mean, Coach, you got to get these folks inspired.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

I don't want to contribute.

[C]

I know. That's why I was also calling you guys to try and get that, because I know Miles have talked about it before and how you. You had a coach where he'd yell like, we're done stuff.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Yeah, Miles, how does the cream rise?

[A]

You gotta walk in the locker room tomorrow, and you gotta get everyone sat down and just be like, hey, what do you. What are you, a bunch of girls or something?

[B]

There you go. A little sexism goes a long way. I like it. That's all you got, Miles. Come on. You got all.

[A]

You know, and then either this and that, you guys aren't worth anything. I'm wasting my time. You know, you really gotta just make them feel terrible about themselves and hate you so they bond together. Yeah.

[B]

You know all their insecurities, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Start laying them out. Who's got insecurities?

[C]

Oh, gosh, I'm not. I'm not gonna say their insecurities on air. That's. That's not right.

[B]

That's smart.

[A]

No, Even I didn't go that far.

[B]

No, I was saying that's smart. That's smart. That was the first test to make sure she could be a coach. But then once you get into the locker room, just start bullying these kids to their face like they did in the 90s, you know, just.

[A]

Just start blaming players, like, calling them out. Be like, emily, your knees. I know you're faking it. You know, hey, we put you in right field because you suck. You know, like a. You know, I don't know. They should call you. What's the opposite of catcher?

[B]

Pitcher.

[C]

Pitcher.

[A]

No, like, the catcher can't catch. Yeah, yeah. They should call you Misser, because he can't catch anything back there. You know, he's got to start just calling him out. If you could blame a loss on a player, you know, just be like, hey, Emily, we lost because of you. By the way.

[B]

How do you. How do you find the, the hard, hard coach kind of thing goes. Do you find that they respect it more?

[C]

I mean there's a few girls at first, like the girls that returned from last year, they'll. If I bring out like the more serious tone stuff, so I had to do that last week. At one point they're like, are you serious here, Aaron? I'm like, yes, I am dead serious. Like we are going to do what I'm saying or else you guys are running, doing push ups, burpees, Mary Catherine's, you know, all those fun things.

[B]

What's with Mary Catherine?

[C]

So basically like you put your fist like so put your elbows on a right angle. It's next to your head, so you have like fists kind of at your ears. And then you would stand in a regular position and then you would like drop down kind of like onto one knee, but you'd hold yourself up like as if you're proposing and then just keep bouncing back and forth. They. They really hate those ones. But I, I don't know. I'd rather not do a burpee, but they'd rather not do Mary Catherine.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah, that's tough. I mean, at the other day, dude, at the end of the day though, you can put your head down nice. At night and just know that it's just jv, you know?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, we're trying to form it, like get them better for the varsity level because varsity coach, he's not going to take any crap and stuff. But I mean, I'm trying to get them to that level so that they are ready for varsity. So that's like kind of where it's hard for me to figure out. Okay. We have to really step up and get our shit together and heads out of our asses.

[A]

But I mean, but like, let's be honest. Anyone who's good enough that we should be worried about is already on varsity.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Even as a freshman. So.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You battle here.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you're just, you know, I don't want to say it but, you know, just have. Just feels like an after school program to me at this point.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's what I'm. That's what we're kind of trying to do is get them ready for varsity, but also have fun at the same time. And it's just, there's a lot to it, some fun.

[A]

Throw these medicine balls at each other's faces.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, that was. We, we regret that one. So. Yeah, they'll be, they'll be fine. I mean it's not like they were close together either. So we're. We were like, okay. I mean, the ones that got injured, they're not. They're the ones who need a little bit more work and stuff. Like one on one, which I'm fine with. Will help them and stuff. But it was just like, okay, we did not need that. But it's okay. We'll figure it out.

[B]

Do you want to one day be a professional softball coach?

[C]

Oh, no, no, no, no. That would not. That wouldn't work. Well, I'm good with the level I'm at, let's be honest. Because I. With my five and a half years working on the D there. Charlie.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I can talk to cows a hell of a lot better than I can talk to people.

[B]

Why are we even focusing on this? You don't. They don't have the interest. Hate to say it. You don't have the interest either. And I think we're. We're. You're collecting a check at this point.

[A]

This is just a three to five for you.

[B]

Yeah. Just clock in, clock out. Don't even think about it.

[C]

I mean, I'm. I want to make them better for the future, and I want to make them have fun, but I don't see myself going farther with it myself.

[A]

So you know what? I actually. A good coaching technique you could try. If you feel like they're not. Their heart's not into it, you completely check out and just say, I don't have any plans for practice today. You guys do whatever you want because you want to do it anyways. And it'll actually, they'll start to organize and they'll do their own practice, which is kind of crazy. So then you get to. Don't have to do anything because they'll feel bad and awkward and they're gonna like, be like, wow, we pushed her to the limit, so we should probably practice.

[B]

Yeah, you'll find a new leader. You'll find.

[A]

You'll find someone's going to step up

[B]

the captain to build the team around. It's either going to go that way or they're just going to start reciting Helen Keller jokes in a circle.

[A]

Yeah. And then they'll tell their parents they didn't do anything at practice, and then the PTO is going to be on your ass. Pta?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say. I was like, that'll be fine and dandy. Until the athletic director shows up and sees I'm not doing anything or the superintendent. Then I won't have a job so. So, yeah, but here's the thing.

[A]

Like, what you getting paid like 500 bucks for the season for this?

[C]

A little more than that, but it's.

[A]

I mean, if you lose the job, it's not the end of the world.

[C]

Yeah, but I'd rather not. I really enjoy it.

[B]

All right. All right. Well, what's the end game

[C]

for my life? Well, we're just gonna. We're gonna sail. We're gonna work our butts off and just see where things take us. So, yeah, we're. It's gonna be what it is.

[A]

No plans.

[C]

I mean, eventually, like, have a house and husband and kids and have my own herd, but, like, job wise, we're. We're just gonna figure. We're gonna figure it out because I'm a little unsure as of right now,

[A]

so that's totally fine.

[B]

Yeah, you don't need to have it all worked out.

[A]

Charlie. I still don't know what we're doing.

[B]

Yeah, we're not sure. We're staring here at 12, me and. Me and empty pull tabs.

[A]

Charlie and I have a call about like once every like six weeks and we're like, hey, do you know what the fuck's going on? He's like, no, do you know?

[B]

And eventually.

[C]

Oh, go ahead.

[B]

You just don't care anymore and you just let it rip.

[C]

Yeah, well, I mean, you guys do a hell of a job with the podcast. I've been listening since the very beginning and I've loved every episode, so.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

I. I appreciate you guys have been doing it. It's fun.

[B]

We appreciate that.

[A]

We give a. We'll appreciate it. And as a token of thanks, we could give you a little nugget for you guys for you to play for the, for the team.

[B]

Yeah, what's. What's their. What's your guys name?

[C]

We are the Ugly Bearcats.

[B]

The Ugly Bearcats. Oh, this is the bad news. Ugly Bearcats. I think I know the problem here. Who named that team?

[C]

It's like Ugly. Like U, B, L, Y.

[B]

Ugly.

[A]

You ain't got no alibi, you ugly. Hey, hey, you ugly.

[C]

Yeah. If you. If you were to like go on autocorrect and you're not from the area, autocorrect is automatically going to put it as Ugly Bear Cats. Like that's. It's literally going to do that.

[A]

Ugly.

[B]

Ugly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. U, B L Y. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, Chuck. This is a message to the. The Ugly Lady Bearcats JV Softball crew.

[B]

Are you guys sick of people calling you the Ugly Bearcats?

[A]

Yeah. You're going to take that, or are you going to do something about it?

[B]

Because, you know, they're saying that behind your bat right now.

[A]

And Coach Aaron over here, she cares about you guys a lot, but.

[B]

And.

[A]

And you guys need to step it up and start taking this thing seriously. No more Helen Keller jokes.

[B]

No.

[A]

Where's the Helen Keller gal at? Really?

[B]

Seriously.

[A]

I was making those when I was a kid. It's not a new joke. Get some new material.

[B]

They stopped being funny in 1996.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

They were funny then, but they were pretty funny.

[A]

I. And afterwards, I'd love to take a peep at the jokes to see what you got. Charlie can use some of that.

[B]

We're off. We're off topic right now, Miles.

[A]

But, guys, Aaron is not your friend. Other in the face with the med balls. All right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Use our reflexes. Let's catch them.

[B]

And if you did get injured, call 1-855-NICOLETTE or go to nicolaiguaway.com contractually obligated

[A]

to tell you kids that you can

[B]

get all the money you need out of that school. If you got injured enough, you might not have to work. Honestly. Honestly. Forget softball. Just try to get injured, okay? Make sure there's. Make sure there's a lot of witnesses.

[A]

It could be your golden ticket if you guys keep doing that med ball drill.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. We are going to attempt to get hurt. We kind of want to play games, so.

[A]

Okay. Oh, yeah. All right. We got a game coming up this Saturday. I want you guys in bed by seven. I want you up at seven on a hearty breakfast. All right? And no phones away. You know what? Let's just everyone go put their phone in the bin over here. You can get them back at the end of the season this time to lock in like LeBron in the playoffs.

[B]

All right?

[A]

No more Twitter or X. I guess you guys don't know what Twitter is. You're too young for that. All right, so let's lock in.

[B]

Hands in the middle.

[A]

Hands in the middle.

[B]

One, two, three.

[A]

Bearcats.

[B]

Ugly Bearcats.

[A]

Ugly Bearcats.

[B]

Three, two, one. Ugly Bear Cats. Go. All right, now, if that doesn't rally that team to next Tuesday, I'm not sure what will happen.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. It'll be. It's gonna be interesting. It'll be what it is. So. It's gonna be fun.

[A]

Yeah, I think it'll be fun. That's what we're here for. Just a good time.

[B]

Yeah. You guys.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you say one of the Helen Keller jokes?

[C]

One of Them was. I think Helen Keller could hit the ball faster than I could because my batting average sucks.

[B]

Oh, wow. Okay. All right.

[A]

Okay. So like it was like an original. That was an original.

[B]

Yeah, that was a. That was a catered one. Wow.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

She really went after your weakness there.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Damn.

[C]

So she's like, all right, guys. I was like, all right, that's not how we talk by ourselves. Because then you're not gonna ever hit the ball. Like at that point you gotta have. It's a whole mental game.

[B]

So it is a mental game. Do you think so?

[A]

Hold on. So like, when my kid does something he's not supposed to, but it's funny, I laugh a little and then try and discipline. Is that what you did after she said that? Was it hard not to laugh?

[C]

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. So I'm a very like, giggly person in general. Like, it sounds really weird, but I am like someone who cannot take things very seriously. And that's a really. It's a big flaw. But you know, we're. We deal with it. It's fine. And so when she said that, I was like, holy shit. Like, as I'm laughing. You cannot say that. Like, if we say that on the field, you will be benched. Like, that's not like you can't.

[A]

We only got seven people.

[C]

We had 11.

[B]

So that was pre medicine ball. So you're a giggly person, but I haven't heard you giggle that much on this comedy podcast. Miles, we're in trouble. We better get our own coach here.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Oh, gosh.

[B]

Why don't you coach us podcasting before we let you go?

[A]

Yeah, give us a. Give us a speech for our. For better podcasting. Let's hear it.

[C]

Oh, God, you are really. You really put me on the spot here, guys.

[B]

Go for the weaknesses, go for what? We're self conscious.

[A]

Yeah, dude, to say the stuff that we just said to you really put us down.

[C]

All right, all right. Miles, you can't talk about Charlie's divorce as much like that. That doesn't. That doesn't fly. That's really gonna hurt your co host's feelings on that. That's not gonna go. And Charlie.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, sometimes you kinda. You gotta give Miles the benefit of doubt on his ideas. Like, you got to let him go with it. Like, you guys are a great podcast host duo and if you go at each other, it's not going to work and then you're not going to have a good podcast. So we got to like, Narrow it down, which, I mean, you both have improved within the years with other callers calling you out.

[B]

So, Aaron, I am going to reverse that that for you, Charlie. Try another marriage. We'll see if this one works this time. Miles, your ideas suck. Let Charlie interrupt you. You want to go for the weakness and really just twist in there, you know?

[C]

Got it. Got it.

[A]

Charlie, there's a reason why your wife wanted to divorce. Now you gotta say stuff like that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes, Miles, there's a reason why you're not more successful. Your ideas suck. There's a reason why you got to do a podcast with Charlie. You suck. And that's actually a double banger. You got us both. That one.

[B]

Yeah, that's good. So work on that. Practice on us. You've listened to enough podcasts. Write it. Write us a roast, and then translate that skill to your team.

[C]

Got it? Got it. Oh, Lord. I don't know how to roast you guys, because you guys are both awesome. I mean, Charlie, have gone to your show in Saginaw last October. It wasn't this past October, but, like, 2024.

[A]

Yeah, Saginaw is what it is.

[B]

Saginaw.

[A]

What is Saginaw?

[B]

Just north of Detroit, not too far away.

[C]

Are you making the hand, Charlie? I know it kills YouTube. Are you making the hand to show him?

[B]

I was drinking water. Miles is too busy laughing at Sag.

[A]

What is it? What is that? Saginaw.

[B]

See? See? You know, let Miles pinch hip for you on the coaching, and let's just see how you guys wrap up after six months.

[A]

You want me to pinch hit?

[C]

Yeah, I. I like that idea. Miles, you can come. You can come to good old rule Michigan. Thumb of Michigan. That'd be fun.

[A]

That would be so great. They wouldn't know what happened. I'd be a tornado of coaching going on in that gymnasium.

[C]

We might need that, though. I mean, my cousin, he did tell me. He's like, if you can't get him under control, I'll come and just yell at them, and they'll be angry at me, and then you'll look like the good person, so he's like, I can come yell at them so they get their asses in the gear because I'm not a mean person.

[A]

So, yeah, I think that's the move.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, I'll see you in Saginoff.

[C]

I mean, you're gonna. You're gonna have to come east of my hour or so, but, yeah, I'll see.

[A]

I'll see an ugly.

[C]

There you go. We got some good Bars and stuff. So you guys might have to come for a podcast.

[A]

We'll do a couple two tree shots, couple two tree beers, and then we'll head to practice.

[B]

That sounds good. We'll just come there with Nicolet shirts on.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, we might need that. Because how it's been going, because season literally started March 9th, and here we are, what, three weeks later, and we are already down girls, and it's only spring break, so, hey, it's.

[A]

Everything feels like a failure in the middle. You got this.

[C]

Yeah. Or it. It's definitely been a little rough, especially with the job thing in between. It's just like, holy, what the hell am I doing?

[A]

So you got it. You got it.

[C]

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[B]

One foot in front of the other.

[A]

You're going through hell. Keep on going.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Don't slow down.

[A]

If you're scared, don't show it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You might get out before the devil even knows you're there.

[C]

Yes, sir. That's a good song, too. I can't remember who sang it, but it. It's a hell of a good song.

[B]

Well, why don't you play it for the team? Rally the troops. All right.

[C]

I might have to be honest.

[A]

Like, guys, we're down bad. Emily hurt her knee. I'm pretty sure that that Chanel is faking that concussion injury. She's probably doing drugs before. That's why her eyes are dilated.

[B]

I can't wait for Miles to come coach this team personally. All right, well, listen, Emily, you watch for deer out there, right? And hope you can find yourself a herd.

[C]

All right, well, we'll do. I mean, I almost got one on Wednesday with my car, so it's rough out there.

[A]

Watch out for cows.

[C]

Yeah, well, we haven't had to deal with that yet, but my cow almost had be one of the ones you had to watch out for last week.

[A]

So you got. You're wrangling. You're wrangling cows, you're wrangling teenagers. Good luck with that.

[C]

Yeah. And soon, within two and a half months, the cows are gonna have babies, so I'll have calves wrangle, too.

[B]

Oh, boy. All right, well, let them suck your finger from me.

[C]

All right, Will do, Charlie. Will do.

[B]

Tickle their brisket, okay?

[C]

Can do. I'll. I'll feed mine some cookies for you too, all right? Because they are. They're big Oreo cookie fans, so.

[A]

Yeah, me too. I think I was born to be a cow. Well, technically, I was born to be a human, but. All right, talk to you later. See you.

[C]

Perfect. See you guys. Thanks.

[B]

Bye. Bye.

[A]

I actually think Charlie and I would be a great duo as a coaching. Like, if we were a coaching duo, I think we. We would be a good ying and yang.

[B]

You think so? Yeah, I just can never.

[A]

Because I'd be the hard ass, and then they'd come to you for support and you'd help them out, and it just would be a good thing.

[B]

Yeah, it's hard. It's hard for me to be like. Well, I'd be like. It didn't really matter, though, does it?

[A]

I know. And I would. I would overdo it, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would overcompensate for your lack of caring.

[B]

Yeah, that would be good. That would be good. Some sports I care about, but only if I'm in them. You know, it's hard for me to coach because I'm like, guys, really, what are we even doing here? You know,

[A]

none of this will matter in a few years, Right? Right.

[B]

Let's go find the bows and do archery, shall we?

[A]

Well, Chuck, is that another episode of the Bellied up podcast?

[B]

That is. I. I think that fireball took a little steam out of me. You know, I think. Getting a little tired. It's been another pleasure, Miles, sitting here with you. Too bad we didn't win more on pull tabs for Marley, but, you know, maybe next time.

[A]

All right, well, guys, remember to tip your bartender. We'll see you next one. Okay? Hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.