Bellied Up Podcast, Episode #189 – "We Finally Figured Out What a Real Sport Is"

Date: February 26, 2026
Hosts: Myles ("You Betcha Guy") & Charlie Berens
Location: Hooligan's Bar and Grill, West Fargo, ND

Episode Overview

This episode of Bellied Up has Myles and Charlie holding court at Hooligan’s in West Fargo, dissecting what truly makes a real sport vs. an activity, taking classic Midwestern parenting war stories, and fielding a couple wild calls from listeners—including a brave Borat-mankini contestant from Minnesota. With plenty of small-town camaraderie, lots of laughs, and some provocative debates about the nature of sports, the episode delivers both wholesome and raucous moments characteristic of the hosts.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Hooligan’s Bar Vibes & Childhood Nostalgia

• The episode opens with friendly banter about the NFL helmets lining the bar and a warm-up about the bar’s bartender, "Goose," and his unique sibling-matching tattoo (02:10).
• Memorable Quote:
  “Goose, can we see it? … So it’s a goose talking into a tin can.”
  – Myles, admiring the bartender’s tattoo, (02:34)
• The hosts reminisce about uncomfortable childhood football helmets, “tattoo phases,” and growing up Midwest:
  • Myles: “I was drawing [tattoos] up...like Bible verses, yo.” (03:48)
  • Charlie: “My dad always said, ‘You pick the location of your first tattoo, I pick the location of your second tattoo.’ … Taint.” (04:19)
• Joke debate if anyone has a taint tattoo:
  “We’re not Googling that.” - Myles (04:53)

2. Dad Merit Badges & Parenting Philosophy

• Myles earns his “Dealing with a Kid with the Stomach Flu” badge after a tough weekend of cleanups in less-than-ideal places (05:02).
• Quote:
  “My child decided to conveniently wait until we were in my wife’s car to projectile vomit everywhere.” – Myles (05:39)
• The guys dig into generational differences in childcare lingo—“playpen” vs. “pack and play”, “nookie” vs “pacifier,” vs. “plugger” (08:01–08:58)
• Parenting values are suspended in emergencies:
  • “All of your principles and values as a parent just kind of go out the window, and you're just in survival mode.” – Myles (10:25)

3. Sibling Upbringing, Mantle Boys, and 90s Cruelty

• Charlie, as the second oldest of 12, recalls “raising” siblings, a hands-off “let ’em figure it out” approach, and the infamous “mantle” time out game (12:09–15:39).
• Quote:
  "Once the kid gets able to sit on their own...I would pick them up, put them on the mantel, and just leave the room." – Charlie (12:42)
• Admission this might have caused lasting trauma (“my brain wasn’t fully formed yet!”), but also lots of laughs and roughhousing.
• Jokes about 90s parenting:
  • "Cruelty now and cruelty in the 90s was way...oh, it was way different." – Charlie (17:34)
• High school hygiene: the rise of Axe Body Spray, cologne, and smoking in restaurants (15:53–16:53)

4. What Is a Real Sport? (Caller: Paul)

• Timestamp: Main caller segment begins ~[22:48]
• Paul from Lancaster, PA (with Midwest roots) calls in with his “unpopular opinion” on the distinction between sports:
  • Aggregate/Objectively-scored sports (football, baseball) vs. Pageantry/Subjectively-judged sports (gymnastics, figure skating).
  • Proposes two categories: “aggregate sports” and “pageantry sports” (27:17)
• The hosts question where to draw the line—what about sports with subjectivity from refs (like pass interference in football)?
  • Myles: “If you took football, there’s no way you can say it’s purely objective…” (32:04)
• Charlie suggests a physical test: “You need at least two major joints to be considered [a sport].” (34:22–34:36)
• Flowchart Moment:
  If it involves physical ability and two or more major joints, it becomes a sport; if not, an activity. Scoring: Objective = aggregate, Subjective = pageantry. (37:12)
• Funny exchange referencing the movie “Stick It” (28:52–31:14):
  • “There’s actually a movie with that exact plot named Stick It, right?” – Myles (29:42)
  • “No, I don’t, Miles...” – Charlie, never heard of it, comedic flounder.
• Wrap-up: Is dance a sport? (Polka? “Poker’s a sport.” “Well, it’s a dance…” “Dancing’s a sport.”) (38:45)

5. Medium Rare Steak Wars (Paul’s Second Question)

• Paul laments his rare steak requests being ignored at family barbecues; solved it by eating at home or bringing his own (39:24).
• “Is that wrong?”
  – Paul, seeking moral guidance (40:09)
• Myles: “Honestly, I thought it was going to be worse. I thought you were gonna say you cooked it at your house then brought it there in Tupperware.” (40:18)
• The legendary passive-aggressive move: gifting his hosts meat thermometers—two Christmases in a row (43:40).
• Hosts encourage next-level stealth (“hide your steak in a pizza bag, sneak to the bathroom”), with plenty of laughs (44:44–45:15).
• Advice: “If you do an edible, you go over [to] your friend’s house, even a well done steak is gonna sound good to you.” (46:02)

6. The Borat Bikini Contest (Caller: Ben from Breezy Point, MN)

• Timestamp: Second caller segment ~[49:04]
• Ben calls with details of entering a bar "bikini contest" in a Borat-style mankini, for extra cash—but loses to a “legendary bush lady” (52:10).
• Hilarity as they review the video:
  • “I had just about everything showing except for my rod and reel.” – Ben (50:45)
  • “You got some balls on you.” – Charlie (57:01)
• Discussion of crowd response and post-contest aftermath:
  “A lot of guys were just impressed on me doing that.” (57:55)
  • “Did you get any numbers after this?” – Charlie (57:37)
  • “No, but the winner sure took a liking to me…” (58:02)
• Physique, confidence, and the art of manscaping debated at length.
• Charlie and Myles consider (jokingly) serving as future celebrity judges.
• Ben’s motivation: “I lived with my parents in Illinois … this is just me going out into the wild, doing whatever, because why not?” (62:28)
• Ben’s unique vitiligo moustache: “That’s pretty easy for people to recognize.” (63:30)
• Invitation for Myles and Charlie to record a podcast while fishing at his Bass Pro Shop dealership (66:18).

7. Streaming NFL Games Rant

• Ben complains about Thursday Night Football being exclusive to streaming (Prime), leading to a brief but classic rant on modern media “cash grabs.”
  • “Any inconvenience that we have in this modern life where something doesn’t make sense, it’s because someone needs to make extra money.” – Myles (68:01)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Tattoo is a very big commitment. 100%. And it’s like, for what? … We live and we learn.” – Charlie (03:17)
• “Parenting rules just go out the window...you’re just in survival mode.” – Myles (10:25)
• “Once the kid gets able to sit on their own ... I would pick them up, put them on the mantle, and just leave the room.” – Charlie (12:42)
• “Cruelty now and cruelty in the 90s was way...oh, it was way different.” – Charlie (17:34)
• “You need at least two major joints to be considered [a sport].” – Charlie (34:22)
• “All your principles and values as a parent just kind of go out the window, and you’re just in survival mode.” – Myles (10:25)
• “You got some balls on you.” – Charlie, to Ben after the contest video (57:01)
• “If you do an edible … even a well-done steak is gonna sound good to you.” – Myles (46:02)
• “Whatever your mankini is this week, give it a go. Life’s short, put on a banana hammock.” – Charlie (69:13)

Structure & Timestamps

• [00:00] – [22:48]: Bar banter, childhood memories, tattoos, parenting, and Midwest nostalgia.
• [22:48] – [38:45]: Caller Paul on the sports definition debate: aggregate vs. pageantry sports.
• [39:14] – [48:42]: Paul's steak opinions & etiquette; Midwest food debates.
• [49:04] – [68:49]: Ben’s Borat bikini contest saga; confidence, making friends, and viral moments.
• [68:49] – [69:38]: Closing thoughts and inspirational mankini send-off.

Final Takeaway

As always, Myles and Charlie fuse Midwestern warmth, irreverence, and quick-witted comedy into candid conversations—with each other and their listeners. Whether you want to debate the true definition of sport, level-up your steak game, or learn how to take life less seriously (banana hammock optional), this episode is guaranteed to leave you laughing and thinking a little differently.

“Don’t forget to tip your bartender. Whatever your mankini is this week, give it a go. Life's short, put on a banana hammock.”
– Charlie (69:13)