We Invent a New Sport #138

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast Episode Summary: "We Invent a New Sport" (#138)
Release Date: February 6, 2025

Introduction: Historic Setting at Holler House
The episode begins with hosts Charlie Berens and Miles (You Betcha Guy) welcoming listeners from the Holler House in Milwaukee, proudly proclaiming it as the oldest bowling alley in the continental United States. Charlie humorously remarks on the venue's rich history, mentioning that the movie Chump Change was filmed there:
“Jack White has been here, okay? They filmed the movie Chump Change here...” [00:00]

Exploring Holler House’s Unique Features
The hosts delve into the unique aspects of Holler House, highlighting its authentic woodwork and nostalgic pinball machines. Miles shares an interesting tidbit about Brunswick bars:
“The bar here is actually a Brunswick bar. And Brunswick used to make bars before they made pool tables.” [00:50]
Charlie expresses admiration for the bar’s craftsmanship, contrasting it with modern establishments:
“They just don't make bars like this anymore with the fine woodwork...” [01:04]

Humorous Banter on Bar Decor and Traditions
The conversation takes a light-hearted turn as they notice bras hung up behind them, leading to jokes about “unmentionables” and traditional bar customs:
“What do the fellas do? Maybe they have a banana hammock section somewhere.” [01:53]
They chuckle over the idea of male-only sections, playfully discussing their attire:
“Mine's riding pretty high right now.” [02:01]

Vintage Drink Menus and Pricing
Charlie showcases the bar's vintage drink menus, humorously listing outdated prices:
“Gin buck 15 cents. Whiskey sours 15 cents...” [02:40]
Miles points out the economical half-gallon beer offer, sparking ideas about measuring drinks:
“They also have a sign that says half gallon beer for 25 cents.” [03:20]
They discuss the practicality of deposit systems for beer mugs, comparing it to beer gardens:
“The deposit is for the mug that they served it in...” [03:31]

Holiday Decorations and Nostalgic Decor
Amidst the bar tour, Charlie highlights quirky Christmas decorations, including a 20-year-old plastic bathtub used by Santa Claus:
“We think it's Mrs. Claus. We can't confirm whether or not it's Mrs. Claus...” [05:24]
This leads to playful speculation about the characters in the bathtub, maintaining a family-friendly vibe:
“But I'm telling you, my laundry has cut down substantially... [06:05]

"Kinky Laundry" System to Reduce Chores
Charlie introduces his innovative "kinky laundry" system, a humorous take on reducing laundry frequency by reusing shirts for workouts:
“It's not called dirty laundry. It's called kinky laundry.” [07:09]
Miles engages with the idea, sharing his own unconventional approach to clothing maintenance:
“I haven't washed some jeans in a year, dude.” [08:07]

Listener Call-In: Debbie from Minnesota – Ice House vs. Food Truck
The first caller, Debbie from Lee Sewer, Minnesota, seeks advice on whether to sell her family’s ice house or repurpose it into a food truck business on the lakes.
Debbie explains her dilemma:
“I have this ice house that my husband and father decided to do one winter... They haven't taken it out on the ice the last two years.” [16:30]
Charlie and Miles brainstorm creative business ideas, including “Snow Low,” a new sport combining snow machines and gender reveal parties:
“Snow Low has been taken.” [17:58]
They envision innovative concepts like perch tacos and shaved ice drinks to complement the food truck offerings, infusing humor and practicality into the discussion.

Listener Call-In: Connor from Montana – Snow Machine vs. Hospital Bills
Connor, an electrician and foreman from Missoula, Montana, calls in about balancing the purchase of a snow machine against impending hospital bills due to a pregnancy.
Connor details his predicament:
“We're safe in the truck... I'm an electrician in Missoula, Montana.” [27:22]
The hosts offer humorous yet supportive advice, suggesting home births and creative transportation solutions involving snow machines:
“All you need is a nutrition name.” [22:00]
They humorously discuss the practicality and safety of snow machines, blending comedic elements with Connor’s real-life concerns.

Listener Call-In: David – Dairy Farmer Dating a Vegetarian
David, a dairy and crop farmer, shares his challenges of dating a vegetarian, aiming to reintroduce meat into their relationship.
David explains:
“I'm trying to get her back into eating me. It's not working too well...” [52:01]
The hosts humorously suggest tactics such as introducing Indian cuisine and trading dietary habits to bridge the gap, emphasizing the fun and awkwardness of such adjustments:
“You could go vegetarian for a week and she goes keto for a week.” [63:09]
They playfully discuss the dynamics of their relationship and potential solutions to accommodate both preferences.

Safety Tips and Personal Stories on Electrical Accidents
Throughout the episode, Charlie and Miles share personal anecdotes about electrical mishaps, emphasizing the importance of safety and caution when handling live wires:
“If you are standing on the ground, you are the ground.” [47:57]
They recount near-miss incidents, offering humorous yet cautionary tales to educate listeners on DIY electrical work:
“Y if you're gonna, you're gonna DIY ELECTRICITY, YouTube it twice.” [48:25]

Conclusion: Preparing for the Big Game with Humor and Merchandise Promotion
As the episode wraps up, Charlie and Miles shift focus to the upcoming big game, promoting their unique “tippy cow” drink and branded merchandise available at youbetcha.com:
“Tip it on back with a little tippy cow.” [48:36]
They encourage listeners to purchase their humorous, branded shirts and participate in fun, game-day traditions, blending promotional segments seamlessly into their comedic narrative.

Notable Quotes:

• “They just don't make bars like this anymore with the fine woodwork...” – Charlie Berens [01:04]
• “It's not called dirty laundry. It's called kinky laundry.” – Charlie Berens [07:09]
• “Snow Low has been taken.” – Charlie Berens [17:58]
• “If you are standing on the ground, you are the ground.” – Miles [47:57]
• “Tip it on back with a little tippy cow.” – Charlie Berens [48:36]

This episode of Bellied Up masterfully blends humor with engaging discussions on innovative ideas, personal anecdotes, and listener interactions, all set against the backdrop of a historic Milwaukee bar. Whether brainstorming new business ventures or navigating personal relationship challenges, Charlie and Miles deliver an entertaining and relatable experience for their audience.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, folks. Welcome to the Bellied up podcast. We are here at the Holler House in Milwaukee, the oldest bowling alley in the continental United States. And non continental. Okay. This is a historic piece of Milwaukee, Miles. We are sitting in history right now. Jack White has been here, okay? They filmed the movie Chump Change here, which I was told you should smoke a doob and watch by the current owner of the Howard house.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. And we got pinball machines. We got. Got trees as it's decorate for Christmas. So it is dating this episode a little bit, but Miles, I date this bar if I could, exclusively. How you doing, Miles?

[B]

I was getting the whole history lesson while we were waiting for you to show up.

[A]

I wasn't that late. Why are we doing that?

[B]

So they said, she said that the bar here is actually a Brunswick bar.

[A]

Really?

[B]

And Brunswick used to make bars before they made pool tables.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Holy smoke. Now this it is some. They just don't make bars like this anymore with the fine woodwork. You know, they just kind of throw some. Some. Some duct work behind the deal, you know, and they call it cowboy jerk offs or whatever. No, they don't do it like this anymore, folks. If you're in Milwaukee, you gotta. You gotta come over to the Holler house. I tell you that much right now.

[B]

Did you see Charlie, that they have bras hang up behind us?

[A]

Oh, unmentionables, Miles. We call them unmentionable.

[B]

I forgot my bra at home. I'm pissed that I didn't wear one today.

[A]

You're going free titty right now?

[B]

Yeah, because they say that the first time you come here, you hang your bra up and sign it. It's a tradition.

[A]

What do the fellas do?

[B]

I don't know. Maybe they have a banana hammock section somewhere.

[A]

Okay, I better find that mine's riding pretty high right now.

[B]

Jesus. Yeah, okay.

[A]

Banana ham makes a different scenario. You gotta make sure you what's crazy.

[B]

About this place has been around for 117 years. Three generations have owned it. The bowling alley downstairs was made in 1904. And you could just feel the history in here, Charlie.

[A]

Damn. I really was late, wasn't I? Yes, you were getting a lot of info on there. Sorry, Miles. Sorry for being late.

[B]

This cast register least 70 years old.

[A]

She said least 70. Looks like 80 to me. Tell you that right now. Is there. Is it functioning? Is it working?

[B]

I don't know. It doesn't appear to be.

[A]

Okay, well, it's a phenomenal deal. Oh, and they've got best Prices in town, guys. They got the original menus up. Mixed drinks, highball, 15 cents. Gin book. Jin buck my glasses. Where my readers. Sorry. Freaking readers. Gin buck 15 cents. Whiskey sours 15 cents. A Tommy Collins skull. Gin fizz. Skull. Is that a skull Gin fizz?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have never. And then a red Robin 15 cents. That sounds like a sex position. Kind of.

[B]

They also have a sign that says half gallon beer for 25 cents. We gotta start measuring beers and gallons again.

[A]

Wait, where is that? I don't even see that.

[B]

Left over there.

[A]

Oh, wow. Plus deposit. You gotta put the deposit down. What's the deposit, Tino?

[B]

Is that like what now your credit card is that you got to put some money down on the beer before. Before you pay your tab?

[A]

No, I'm guessing the deposit is for the. The mug that they served it in, which was probably, you know, they probably served in one of them really big like boots to deposit for the boot. They do that at beer garden sometimes.

[B]

I like.

[A]

What is this? Oh, that's a shot. Oh, that's a beautiful Schottsky right there. Oh my gosh. Bring that. Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

Lopper's elbow here.

[A]

Why don't we bring all the Lopper's elbow. Look at this. Now this is a beautiful Schottzki. This is a custom made one. You can tell because on the other side of the shot ski. Look at that. Miles. Was that.

[B]

I think it's bowling lanes.

[A]

Those are bowling lanes.

[B]

That's nice.

[A]

Yeah, Isn't that cool? That is so slick. I've never had a slow gin fizz, but I'm going to order that. The next bar I go to. Nothing.

[B]

How many of those beers are still. There's really kick. Really kicking it.

[A]

Old Heidenberg. I think that went away with the Nazis. Cumberbacher Comb, Kulmbacher.

[B]

Old Town locker this or lager. There's still Old Town, ain't it?

[A]

There's still old town.

[B]

Foxhead400 is there fox head still around?

[A]

I saw a fox doing something like that in the woods once.

[B]

Regardless, guys, you got to get to Holler House. This is a great spot. And what's. What I like about it is you can tell how much the people that own it love this place.

[A]

You really can.

[B]

That's the kind of bar you want to go to.

[A]

You can feel the love when you really can. You. I don't know if that's the ghosts here or whatever, but they're a lot of love. Oh, speaking which Miles, you want to show that Santa Claus Mrs. Claus and Santa Claus. Now, you know, we're filming this during Christmas time. And look at this. Oh, hang on. For those of you listening at home, this is a 20 year old plastic bathtub and Santa is.

[B]

And we think it's Mrs. Claus. We can't confirm whether or not it's Mrs. Claus or not, but they are both in the tub together and they are. What would you say they are? Washing each other's bodies with the other person's body.

[A]

Let's just say the town is this.

[B]

Gal and we're going to town. Santa Claus is going to town. Yeah, we're.

[A]

I won't take coming in.

[B]

He's coming.

[A]

Let's not, you know. Anyway, it's a family show.

[B]

Children's show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Miles, I came up with this genius, genius system that I'm excited to tell you about. Should I do it on this episode or next episode?

[B]

Let's do it. What do you got?

[A]

So I cleaned up my apartment. Okay. I cleaned it up and I cleaned all the clothes up and I got a new system. I was doing too much laundry and I said, why am I doing too much laundry? Like, this shirt is good shirt. Like, see this shirt? I'm just wearing it standardly today.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Well, it's. It's not dirty, right? It's not dirty after. Like, I'm not working very hard today. It's not getting, you know, it's not getting very dirty, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I put it in my. I fold it again and I put it in a new pile. Shirts. And those shirts I go work out with.

[B]

Oh, that is smart.

[A]

So they're not dirty shirts. They're kinky shirts, you know, because, you know, they got a little, little musk to them. But when you go to the gym, you're already smelling and everyone around you smelling. So it's cut down on my laundry so much that I feel like I need to tell everybody about this system. It's not called dirty laundry. It's called kinky laundry. And you can wear it out to the bar again if it's still smelling. Okay. But it's basically wearing your laundry multiple times before washing it. It has saved me so much time.

[B]

I believe it.

[A]

So much time.

[B]

How many times will you wear these pair of jeans before you wash them?

[A]

Oh, pants. I don't wash pants.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

I. Maybe I'll wear them six, seven times before I wash them.

[A]

I haven't watched some jeans in a year, dude. I need to get a rash after wearing a pair of pants before I wash them because you're changing all your under slacks, you know, your underwear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, there was no reason to ever. Do you wash your coat?

[B]

No, I don't.

[A]

Yeah. Have you ever washed a coat?

[B]

No.

[A]

Pants are the same way.

[B]

You gotta wash the coat. Just get a new one.

[A]

Exactly. Pants are the same way. Never wash your pants unless you get a stain on them. But you can just spot wash those. You know, toothbrush goes a long way. You don't need to put it in the.

[B]

Well, you say you work out. You. So this goes from clean.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To the kinky pile.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How long. How many workouts will you do in the kinky shirt? Because you could even save even more. I mean, three in this one shirt.

[A]

So this one. Given that we're doing probably nothing worth smelling for today, like, and I put deodorant on, so it's just going to smell like my deodorant, which is. It's not bad. So if it just smells like deodorant, I'll wear it until it starts smelling like deodorant. Plus a little funk. Once it goes deodorant plus funk goes into the kinky pile. So I may wear this three, four times. This is actually my third time wearing this shirt without watching, washing it.

[B]

Do I smell without even going in the kinky pile?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. But I'm saying, once you get in the kinky pile, how many workouts are you gonna do on it?

[A]

How hard did I work out?

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, did I. Did I go for a run outside where the sweat was just evaporating right away?

[B]

I mean, maybe you lifted weights and didn't sweat that much.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. That I can do a couple, three times on the workout. But for you guys, depending on the ventilation in your closet, you may not want to do that because you don't want to walk in your closet ever start smelling like funk? You know, if it smells like kink, that's a good thing. Those are pheromones that even attracts fellas. The ladies like the pheromones. Okay. Not too much. When pheromones go to funk, then maybe.

[B]

There'S a fine line between pheromones and funk.

[A]

Mm. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When the pheromones stop being spelt with a. You want to put it. You want to give it your last workout and then put it in the old wash. But I'm telling you, my laundry has cut down substantially. I only do it once a month now.

[B]

How are the dishes going?

[A]

That's another story. Yeah, that's Another story.

[B]

Have you gone full paper plates?

[A]

No, no, I actually, if I use a plate, I kind of just give a little rinse and then keep the plate out. Yeah, I mean I'm, I live by myself.

[B]

Guys, you know, I'm surprised you have more than one plate, honestly. Why do you need two plates?

[A]

I mean, in case you do have company over, you know.

[B]

Well then it's just a byop situation. Bring your own plate.

[A]

See, I tried in instilling that, but people didn't do it. People didn't go for it. Did I tell you that?

[B]

They're like, I thought you were joking. I didn't, I didn't imagine a world where one where someone would only have one plate. I thought that was a joke.

[A]

I took you seriously. I did have this one time. May have told it on this podcast before I don't have memory cells, but my sister came over or my sister graduated and it was right by my place. So I says, you know, you guys come over, I'll, I'll, I'll serve. I'll serve booze after the fact. Because frankly, it was a long graduation ceremony. I saw my sister walk. I didn't want to watch every other participation trophy recipient walk across the frickin aisle. So I says, I'm going to leave. That was my excuse to leave. So I got booze there. And then my sister's like, do you have food? I was like, oh yeah, there's some in the fridge. She makes a plate out of the cheese I had like in the back. I didn't even know I had this cheese. People are eating it now. Look at the cheese. There's mold on the cheese. I said, hang on guys, this isn't blue cheese. And then my dad has it in his hand as my sisters are all freaking out and gagging and my dad looks at, just finishes it.

[B]

He's a different breed, different built, different. Back in the day they were.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like there's two people in this world. There's people who respect the expiration date and then there's people who think that the expiration date on stuff is just.

[A]

A guideline, just a suggestion.

[B]

Yeah. And most dads in the world are. They're willing to risk the expiration date.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if you think about mold, to some people, that's all blue cheese is moldy cheese. So what's the difference if you like homegrown that mold, by the way, this is not advice, you guys. If anybody gets sick eating, it's your fault for listening to me, right?

[B]

Right. I never. Yeah.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Yeah, I just. I. I take it in and then I let it go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the way you should.

[B]

Yeah, it's like.

[A]

Like a wave that crashes.

[B]

Water off a duck's back.

[A]

There you go. Yeah.

[B]

I think you did tell that story at some point too, by the way.

[A]

It's fine to repeat it, huh?

[B]

Oh, perfect.

[A]

Oh, all the. Yeah. Nobody listens to, like, you Bet your Radio.

[B]

Thanks, Charlie.

[A]

No, what I'm saying. Nobody list carefully where they, you know. You know, the friend you go to the bar with tells the same story. Every. Like, there's that, you know, like, you. You're like, how many people are you telling this story to that you can't.

[B]

Remember now to the point where they've run out of stories, so now we just hear the same story.

[A]

You play the hits over and over again. Sometimes you request a story. You're like, yeah, tell that. Tell that one.

[B]

I also. Sometimes I will just. Just to make my mom mad, I'll just finish the story in a much shorter version than what she would do.

[A]

God, that would piss off. That would piss me off.

[B]

I could have done that. You invite a bunch of people over. You had moldy cheese and your dad still ate it. But.

[A]

And you didn't. I respect that you didn't.

[B]

Thank you, Charlie. I have restraint. What is. Well, we talk on. You Bet your Radio that I've been doing you Bet your radio since 2019. So what is it? How many hours of talking?

[A]

That's a lot of hours, dude. 500 with Patreon.

[B]

500 hours of podcasting I've done. I'm never gonna remember all the stuff I said. No, Never gonna.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I imagine I've told the same story at least four times.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's kind of scary because I don't remember. Like, people call in sometimes and say, remember, I see him on the street and they talk about the podcast and they say, you remember when you said this? No, do not. I do not. But thank you for listening.

[B]

Leads me to think, like, testimonies in court, there's no way they're accurate.

[A]

No.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

I mean, the human brain is. Is a beautiful thing, but it just doesn't have a lot of ram.

[B]

Like, if you were to try and remember the stuff we said in the podcast last week today. Or, sorry, yesterday, today.

[A]

No, you couldn't do it. No. Like, I got back. Yeah, No, I got back to my place. I was talking to Randa. She said, what are you guys Talking about. I was like.

[B]

It'S kind of like when you're a kid and your mom goes, what'd you learn at school today? And you just go. You just defaulted. Nothing. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What'd you guys talk about on the podcast today?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Okay, well, that sucks because it's a podcast.

[A]

Yeah. But it's clearly what. What our brains are doing is just bailing out the boat. Like.

[B]

Well, it's because we're so dialed in, Charlie.

[A]

We are dying out.

[B]

We just black out.

[A]

We're in the moment, guys. In the moment. Well, Charlie, should we take some callers?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right, guys, we have a. Charlie, we have a voicemail. I love voice from Debbie from Minnesota.

[A]

Debbie.

[B]

Debbie's a great. It's a great name.

[A]

That's my aunt's name.

[B]

Debbie. Sounds like she's from Minnesota.

[A]

Debbie, yeah. Deb for short. Debra for long.

[B]

Let's see what Debbie has to say.

[C]

Hey, guys, it's Debbie from Lee Sewer, Minnesota.

[A]

Great energy.

[C]

I am calling because I'm not sure if I have a buy selling trade or I want to start a business. I have this ice house that my husband and father decided to do one winter. They built it from scratch because my father needed a winter project. They haven't taken it out on the ice the last two years.

[B]

Classic.

[C]

So I'm wondering, do I put this up for sale and get me a nice little car that I could use, or do I keep this and start ice house food truck business out on the lakes?

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Let me know what I should do, guys. Watch for deer and tell your folks that says hi.

[A]

Oh, great. Great energy from Debbie. You're a genius, Debbie.

[B]

Why haven't we thought about this before?

[A]

I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

Why are we not. We're building ice shanty towns on big lakes.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Yeah, you got them.

[A]

These.

[B]

These little ice shanty towns have roads.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They damn near have stoplights on these things.

[A]

Yeah, well, they do. It's a crack in the ice.

[B]

Why aren't we putting in food trucks areas? We could even start zoning the lakes. Zoning, yes.

[A]

Yes. I love it. I mean, this is a genius idea, you know? Right. Like you have taco trucks on the street. They got streets. The ice. This is just a natural progression. This is. This is the advancement of human society is what this is.

[B]

We already have. I've been to a bar on the ice in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, where they actually build a bar out there and you can go get drinks.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Why don't we have food trucks out there, man.

[A]

Minnesota is really. I. I feel like the epicenter of the greatest ice ideas yet, because I got to tell you, I've never been to a bar on the ice in Wisconsin, and I'm starting to feel like we're falling behind.

[B]

Yeah, they got minnow shots there.

[A]

They have minnow shots at the bar. Oh, my gosh. Were you. They have a trifecta where they do a minnow, a leech, and a. And a nightcrawler.

[B]

No, but you could do that. That would be your next spin, Charlie.

[A]

They have that at Tiger Muskie Resort in Hayward. But that's not on ice. That's on land. Anyways, I like this food truck concept quite a bit, and I. Actually, there's this one place in Kenosha I was fishing down on the Great Lakes, and if you catch yourself a salmon or something or whatever, you bring your catch in and they grill it up for you. So I wonder if at this food truck, they have an option where you can bring your catch and they'll fry it up for you. You catch a few perch, you take it there, and they fry it up for you.

[B]

That'd be good. Perch tacos. Have you ever had a perch taco?

[A]

I've not had a perch taco. I like that. Perch tacos they. They supply. Because I don't think you can legally, like, sell fish. Fresh fish you catch. But if other people catch it, they can sell vegan tacos. And then you add the pescatarian.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I wouldn't call it vegan tacos. It probably wouldn't do very good. But you catch it. We. We. We deep fry it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you kill it. We grill. Grill it. You catch it. We what? Runs with salad. Yeah.

[B]

You fetch it.

[A]

You fetch. You catch it. We fetch it. Yeah.

[B]

That's the same thing.

[A]

Darn it.

[B]

Also, you were talking on a previous episode about how you use your hand ice auger.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Shaved ice for drinks.

[A]

Oh, we gotta add that into the mix.

[B]

You can do shaved ice for dessert.

[A]

Shaved ice, shaved ice, old fashions.

[B]

I mean, just think about it, Charlie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You go on the. You go on the lake, you catch a few perch. Yeah. In the morning, it's about. It's about high noon. You're like, I'm getting hungry. You walk over to the old food truck, you give them your perch. While you're waiting, you have a shaved ice old fashioned.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's the move right there. I love that.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Yeah. I was out fishing on Lake Winnebago caught a perch, clean the perch, and I cooked it right there on the ice with a deep fried. Now, I will say this is the problem. It started snowing right there, and, you know, deep fryer and precipitation, it starts bubbling it up. So you got to make sure that situation's well covered before you put a big old hole in the ice, you.

[B]

Know, that's not good.

[A]

Yeah. Cover your deep fryers. But no, this could be really cool. And I feel like it's one price if you clean the fish, another price if they have to clean the fish. Well.

[B]

And honestly, I know that food trucks have a problem up here in the north United States, the north Midwest of. In the winter, people aren't walking around as much going to a food truck to get tacos. You now have a winter business.

[A]

It's perfect. Oh, and hey, you know what would go great with all of it? Well, tippy cow. You know, as you take a sip of that tippy cow, that's what you can put. That's why I brought up the shaved ice thing right. In that previous episode. Ah, this brain works. No, this is a great idea, Debbie. I think you are onto something. And now all you need is a nutrition name.

[B]

Well, and. Yeah, well, hold on. I mean, she was saying I could sell it and get a car. Or you could start this business and you could buy multiple cars from how much money you're going to make.

[A]

Yeah, you. You got to think bigger here, Debbie. And I like how you are.

[B]

Teach a man to fish, you. Yeah, you know, man a meal, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

[A]

Sell a man's ice house. You. You. You get yourself a car. Take a man's ice house, turn it into a food truck, you get a fleet of cars. That's in the Bible.

[B]

So then with all those cars, you could have an Uber service that drives out on the lake so people aren't driving home drinking on the ice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Boom.

[A]

There you go. And if. If you don't want to go full car, you just get yourself a snowmobile and a few toboggans, you know, tied to the back of it. That would be fun. That's like the rickshaw of the ice. You. You see those guys on the. With the bikes and the. The thing, the. The carriage behind there? That's the horse and buggy of the ice. Snowmobile. Four toboggans tied to the back of it. People can be like, tubing on, you know, doing a little toboggan wars. Yeah, I Mean, I would take out a pretty healthy insurance policy on that because someone's going to bring waivers.

[B]

Waivers.

[A]

Waivers.

[B]

Waivers.

[A]

Which reminds us, folks, Nicolet Law is there.

[B]

Anyways, you're saying we need to come up with a name with it for this though.

[A]

Food on ice. It's like Disney on Ice. But food.

[B]

Yeah, simpler is better.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Food on ice. Maybe ice tacos.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know why we're stuck on that. It has to be tacos. But I think that, you know, first location should be tacos.

[A]

Yeah, everybody likes a taco food truck. You know better. And street meat. Ice meat. That could be, you know, that could be one of them gay bars, if you want to call it that. Nothing wrong with that, by the way. That's just fun. You ever tried that? Anyways, Miles, but good stuff. Or. Or Frosty the. Frosty the. The. The sous chef. You know, Frosty the sous chef.

[B]

Yeah, I don't. I. More we sing on this podcast, the less I think I know words to song. Can't believe it.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I was singing. Kid has a book with like nursery rhymes and songs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I had to actually like read all the lyrics to Twinkle Twinkle little star.

[A]

Twinkle, twinkle little star. Now I wonder what you are up above, above this world so high Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle little star.

[B]

How I wonder what you are.

[A]

I just told you it's a star, dumbass. You know, it's a big ball of gas.

[B]

I just do that next time I'm reading them to. You know, if you're wondering what it is actually just a big ball of gas. And it's the. The stars that you do see might already be dead. But just how long it takes the light to get here takes billions of years. So it might actually be dead already. So I wouldn't wish upon that star.

[A]

Doesn'T really roll off the tongue as well. Yeah, yeah. Miles, you're always thinking about gas.

[B]

Little ball of gas.

[A]

It's a big ball.

[B]

I know what you are.

[A]

Twinkle, twinkle, ball of gas. You did not come from my butt.

[B]

Ass. Well, we were kids at the stage where I could still swear at home and not feel guilty about it. I got about a good at least another solid year or two.

[A]

I don't know, Miles. They internalize that stuff. Like when they're in the womb, you play music, they come out a better musician. So they are.

[B]

I think there's any data to back that up?

[A]

There is.

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

Look it up. Look.

[B]

It could be more Of a farce.

[A]

Look it up.

[B]

It's a lot about DNA, huh? Which can't be absorbed through the womb.

[A]

Yet, Miles yet.

[B]

But this is a classic situation that if you just say something wrong confidently enough, people will believe you. Charlie.

[A]

Well, I know.

[B]

And that's kind of the podcast, I guess.

[A]

Yeah, really is.

[B]

Well, should we take another call or something?

[A]

Let's do it. Holy shit. Is this the Belly up podcast?

[D]

Oh, my God. Oh, I'm on the third floor.

[A]

What's up, boys? How you doing?

[B]

I'm.

[D]

I'm doing fantastic. How are you guys?

[A]

Oh, fantastic, too. Yeah.

[D]

That'S great.

[B]

What are you doing right now? You sound out of breath.

[D]

I'm. I'm at. I'm at work, where I'm the foreman. But we're okay. We're safe in the truck.

[B]

What were. If you're the foreman, what were you doing out of the truck?

[D]

You know, I'm a fool. I had my bags on. I should have known better.

[B]

What do you do? What do you do for work? Where do you work at?

[D]

I'm an electrician. I'm an electrician in Missoula, Montana.

[B]

Oh, we got a sparky on our hair.

[A]

There we go. When was the last time you electric electrocuted yourself?

[D]

Oh, boys, I electrocuted myself in front of a whole office in the main building.

[A]

Were you on something tall? Did you fall with it, too?

[D]

No, Luckily, I was making up a switch, and I was. I was just trying to get it done and doing a hot. And I accidentally touched the live screw and I. I did a jump and I made a. And. And the. And the gal behind me in the. Behind the desk goes, oh, my goodness. Are you okay? She wanted to call the cops on me.

[B]

He touched a hot wire and turned into Michael Jackson. Oh. So are you wearing a quarter zip Carhartt sweatshirt right now?

[D]

You're.

[B]

You're close.

[D]

I'm wearing a blaze orange Carhartt sweatshirt.

[A]

All right, there we go.

[B]

Quarter zip Carhartt sweatshirt is a uniform for all electricians. I swear, Charlie.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. And the really expensive hard hat because we just make all the money.

[B]

That is true. You guys have someone. You have a limo driver pick you up and take you home from work every day, too.

[D]

It's. It's not. It's not a limo driver. It's. I bought us. I bought a Ferrari, and I have my chauffeur drive me.

[B]

That is a baller move. You buy a Ferrari and don't even drive it.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Well, Connor Why don't you belly up with us? You. Connor is, like you said, from Montana and he is wondering how he can convince his wife to let him buy a snow machine. Is that true, Connor?

[D]

That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Me and my wife just learned that we're pregnant just in time for snowmobile season.

[A]

Congratulations. Congratulations.

[D]

Thanks.

[B]

Well, she's on the sex, by the way.

[A]

Yeah. Good for you.

[D]

I've done it at least once. We can prove it.

[B]

Well, not yet. If she's just pregnant.

[A]

Yeah. Could come out not looking like you.

[D]

As you know. If it comes out anything other than redhead, I'll be suspicious.

[B]

Yeah, I got a kid with blonde hair and blue eyes, so I'm pretty suspicious as well.

[A]

Hey, I have blue eyes.

[B]

Charlie. Watch it.

[D]

Thank you. Facing the wrong direction. You should facing east. You're probably facing west.

[A]

All right. So yeah. Your wife doesn't want you to buy a snow machine, huh?

[D]

That's exactly right. I, I, I have enough to get a snow machine. But she says that paying, paying the hospital bills to pull this baby out of her is more important.

[A]

Well, here's a, here's something to keep in mind. All right, first and foremost, Ferraris are not known for driving in the snow. Very good. So you gotta have a snow machine to get her to the hospital.

[B]

That is true.

[A]

Yeah. And the hospital bills can take care of themselves after the fact.

[D]

All right, I agree. I've been trying to tell her if we get a freak snowstorm, my Ferrari won't make it to the grocery store. But a snow machine sure will.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's much easier to put a car seat on the back of a snowmobile than in a Ferrari.

[A]

Yeah. Yes, it is.

[D]

Oh, yeah. I got enough tie downs, I could make it work.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

He's ratchet straps the kid on the snow machine. That's kid's not going anywhere.

[A]

Going anywhere, your wife can ride behind in a toboggan. No, I mean, I, look, I think, I mean, how, what's the going rate to have a kid these days?

[D]

Shoot, Miles, it sounds like, it sounds like you'd know best. We're. My wife is a nurse and she has hospital health care. But it sounds like the going rates about a double deductible. So it sounds like It'd be about $6,000, which would be a slick sled.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

That sounds about right. That sounds about right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, in reality it's like, why can't you just have both, you know? Yeah, yeah, I know. You're an electrician and you have expensive tastes, but just maybe get a used snow machine that's a little cheaper.

[A]

Yeah. And buy now, think about it later. That's the American. All right, put that baby on layaway.

[D]

Shoot, I forgot I have a credit card. Yeah, you're totally right.

[B]

All right, rack it up. Yeah, I imagine that after he had done the deed, you know, you get that post nut clarity. Immediately afterwards, he was like, I just lost my snow machine.

[A]

He's like.

[B]

He's just sitting on the end of the bed smoking a cigarette, going, God, what could have been.

[A]

Head in the hand, just looking out.

[D]

The window, asks, what's wrong? Yeah. When my wife asks what's wrong, I just gotta say, nothing. Don't worry about it, honey.

[B]

We're pregnant, damn it.

[A]

Now what you have to do to convince your wife is to prove to her that a snow machine is not a sunk cost. It's an investment in your fatherhood. You know, you are going to be so much more relaxed as a dad. You're going to be so much better of a parent by having this snow machine in your life. And from a very practical standpoint, it's an escape vehicle. If you guys get a lot of snow out there in Montana, what if a grizzly bear comes knocking tears apart your Ferrari? You guys have nowhere to go. You need that snow machine.

[D]

Oh, absolutely. I. I think you hit it on the head when I. So when I become a dad, I'm gonna have to fall into one of the dad categories. And I can't play golf for. So I'll be the snowmobile dad.

[A]

Exactly. Exactly.

[B]

You know, you still could do the golf because a lot of us still can't play golf for shit. And that doesn't stop us.

[A]

So, yeah, you could do. You could do golf on a snow machine. Have that be winter golf. Have that be your golf cart.

[B]

Just paint the golf balls neon orange.

[A]

Ye even do like golf polo on the snow machine. Like, you know, that would be fun. That's a whole new sport. Yeah, that's how you.

[D]

The best redneck sport I've ever heard of.

[A]

Yes. And we just invented it here. Okay, so get the snow machine. It's winter now. And start shooting videos of you playing snowlow. That's snow polo. And. And you're gonna. You. You are gonna be a multi millionaire.

[B]

And then you can have all the babies you want.

[D]

Oh, that is genius. Okay, that's. Do you think the YouTube handle Snow Low has been taken.

[B]

No, no, not a chance.

[A]

No, this just came out of the dome.

[B]

Yeah. And this comes out later, so you have time to get that handle.

[A]

Yeah, get the handle and start shooting these videos, man. We got. You got money to make. And say, babe, think about all the kids we can have when we're multi millionaires. Does she want more than one kid?

[D]

She wants the one, but I keep telling her either two or four so we don't end up with the oldest. Middlest, youngest syndrome.

[A]

I got news for you. That syndrome exists no matter how many kids you got. I'm one of 12. We've just got, like, 10 middle children. We all have attention issues. That's why I'm on this podcast right now.

[D]

That's a great point.

[B]

Now, one thing to think about, too. Save some money on the hospital. Hospital bills. Just your. Your wife's a nurse. She's got to know what to do.

[A]

She knows how to do it.

[B]

Have a home birth.

[A]

Yeah. You guys got a good bathtub?

[D]

I got. I got a bathtub. We can. We can do that. I see she's really. She gets cold really quickly, so I would have to be just filling the water and emptying it and keeping her warm the whole time. We could. We could do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But I think I. I think the difficulty would be more on my side for that kind of a pregnancy. That's too much work for me.

[A]

Well, get yourself a midwife.

[B]

Cost money, Charlie. Less money towards the snow machine.

[A]

We'll give the midwife free snow machine lessons.

[B]

You brought up YouTube. There's YouTube as a video for everything. There's gotta be a tutorial on how to have a home birth on YouTube.

[A]

Yeah, we know. Half of your electrical work is you youtubing it before you go in and do the thing.

[B]

And the time that he electrocuted himself in front of all those people is he didn't look at it on YouTube.

[A]

Or he was looking at YouTube while he was doing.

[D]

That's a great idea. So I'll tell my pregnant nurse wife to just pick up some. Some overtime shifts. Then I can get my snow machine.

[A]

That's not what we said. Okay, that is the worst. That's the worst idea ever.

[B]

I love. I love how our solution isn't just trade in your Ferrari for something a little bit more economical. You can't do that.

[A]

No.

[D]

Okay, so the best thing I'm hearing right now is home birth, and then I can have them both.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Well, don't forget snow low. All right? Yeah, yeah, and snow low.

[D]

Yeah, and snow low.

[B]

I mean, how hard can it be? I. You know, I went through it once. It's really just getting under center and going, Blue 42. Hot brown.

[A]

Hot brown.

[B]

Said hot. And then the baby comes out.

[D]

I've been listening to you Bet you podcast about Ryan's birth, and sounds like all he had to do was hold a leg and play air guitar. I figured I can do that.

[B]

That's it, man. That's all it is. I was a smart one, though. I didn't have to do any work. The nurse asked me if I wanted to hold the leg. I said no, you got it. What else am I paying you for? You know.

[A]

That'S like.

[B]

I. I'm. I'm not one to fall for the scam where you go to those restaurants where you have to cook the food and you pay more money to do it. I. I think those are dumb.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That's like going to the grocery store and you checking it out. You're like, do I work here now?

[B]

Self checkout is a racket.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Self checkout for a baby. So I can kind of get Skip some things past the scanner.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, man. No. Well, congratulations on both your baby and your new snow machine.

[B]

Do you know what you're having yet or are you guys waiting?

[D]

We just had our first. Our first ultrasound, but she's gonna want to do some kind of baby reveal, and I told her we can do a baby reveal.

[A]

I was.

[D]

Long as we burn down a little bit of forest.

[B]

You sound like the rest of the country.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, perfect. Perfect.

[B]

Okay. What.

[A]

What.

[B]

What gender reveal should he do, Charlie?

[A]

He should do it with. Okay, so you get. You tell her that it's going to be either you guys get a pink snow machine or a blue snow machine.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

And. But really, it's gonna be a red snow machine because you probably don't want a pink one. Although a pink snow machine could kind of be cool. Or you put some sort of flu exhaust. Well, that's going to ruin it. But wouldn't it be cool if you could, like, find the color of your exhaust? Yeah. No, that's it. Okay. Yeah. So your first snowball game, you're gonna reveal the sex of the baby.

[B]

Yeah. Instead of having a normal ball, it's going to be one that explodes on impact.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Does a smoke thing like they do with the golf balls.

[A]

Yes. Yes. Yeah, it's gonna be.

[B]

Could you imagine a slow mo video of him ripping on a snow machine with his.

[A]

It's a boy. Millions of views. Millions of views, too, Charlie.

[B]

We could do. If you guys wanted to let Us know, we could do the first ever bellied up gender reveal call. Oh, yeah, Throwing it out there.

[A]

We can give you a little. A little spark here for your new Snowlow YouTube channel.

[D]

Oh, that's genius. We would love that. That's a great idea.

[A]

So the way you say this to your wife is, honey, I'm not buying a snow machine. Don't worry. I am starting a side business and buy the machine, buy the exploding golf balls. And then here's the good thing. It takes a lot of time for businesses to make money. So this is all a write off. You're basically making money. You can't afford not to buy this snow machine is what I'm saying. This. This is a ski. Don't test me right now because I know what I'm doing. You like that ski do.

[B]

Let's not skip over the fact that he's pretty keen on us doing the gender reveal party.

[A]

Oh, so are we going to Montana?

[B]

No, he's going to call in and we'll review it live on the podcast.

[A]

That's true. So now you have proof to give the IRS when they obviously are going to question this?

[D]

Absolutely. Well, we could do both. During the first Snow Low game, you guys could be the. The commentator.

[A]

That's. Yes, yes. Now you have plenty of proof to give the IRS when they come a calling.

[D]

Yep, exactly.

[A]

Perfect. Well, we got a business here set up, we got a baby on the way. I. I'm feeling pretty good. Just don't kill yourself with electricity before now and then.

[D]

Okay. So my main goal right now is to not die from electricity and to buy a snow machine and convince the wife it is a business venture. I like it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the home birth.

[A]

Yup.

[B]

That'S it. That's all you got to do.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I think we can figure that out.

[A]

Wonderful. Well, Connor, another. Another issue solved here on the Bellied up podcast. Thank you for calling in.

[D]

Well, thanks, boys. I really appreciate it. It was super cool talking to you.

[B]

Yeah. Before you go, I got one more question. Okay.

[A]

All right. All right.

[B]

As a foreman and electrician, I want you to give me the top tips of being a construction foreman.

[D]

Okay? You nailed it on the head by saying, don't get out of your truck. Unfortunately, I'm behind, so I have to get out of my truck. But you can betcha I walk around and I look at one of my guys while they're working and I don't say nothing. I look at them and I kind of look around and I just walk away. I don't Say a single word.

[B]

Yeah. Then he starts doing all sorts of paranoia in your head.

[A]

You know, just your presence is. Is making productivity more.

[D]

Yeah, it's a. It's a mind game. Absolutely.

[A]

Huh. Judgmentalize. I like it. What else?

[D]

Let's see. The other thing that I like to do is I like to. I like to call one of my guys and be really serious, say, hey, I need you to come out to the truck right now, immediately. And then when they get out here, I just say, hey, how's your day going?

[B]

It's getting kind of boring here, sitting in the truck by myself, and I've listened to every possible podcast I could. So what's going on, man?

[A]

I just wanted you to come over so I had an excuse to roll down the window because it was getting kind of hot in here. Exactly.

[B]

And he's. And he's wondering why he's behind and he has to actually get out of the truck. I like that. Yeah. I mean, for everything I've heard, you're not lying. You are a foreman. You got that thing dialed in.

[D]

I listen to. I listen to your guys podcasts every day, especially by you doing concrete and being down in a hole. So I've taken all that straight to heart.

[B]

Yeah, you got it easy. You know, you're usually working in an enclosed area. You know, you don't have to get all muddy and dirty and deal with people who live out of a cardboard box and have to bike to work every day. You know, you're the high class ass.

[D]

That's exactly right. We're better than everyone. And then.

[A]

Then.

[D]

And don't forget.

[B]

You really are an electrician, aren't you?

[D]

I haven't touched a broom in years.

[B]

Yeah, someone will clean that up. Are you a master electrician or. Or what?

[D]

Nope, I'm a. I'm a journeyman electrician. That's. And that's all you got to be to really be a foreman around here.

[B]

All right, do you have aspirations to be a master electrician or no?

[D]

I. So the first time I took my journeyman test, I got a 38 and I. And I got lucky to pass the test in the first place. I think we're going to leave her here.

[B]

You can get a 38 on your journeyman test.

[A]

First time. First time he had to then go pass it.

[D]

No, that. That was the first try. This. The second try. I sat in my truck and. And toked on a little bit of electric lettuce and then went in and pass.

[B]

Oh, my God. Is that how you Electrocuted yourself. Too much electric lettuce.

[D]

We. We keep things interesting around here. We. We gotta. We gotta. We gotta make it fun.

[A]

Yeah, it's good.

[B]

I like this, though. He knows his. He knows his ceiling. He's like, this is as high as I go, literally.

[A]

Oh, man. Well, thank you, Connor. We appreciate you, my guy.

[D]

Yeah, thanks. Thanks for talking to me. You boys watch out for deer, all right?

[A]

You too.

[B]

Congratulations, too, by the way.

[A]

Yeah, congrats.

[D]

Hey, thanks, guys. I'll talk to you.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Good one.

[A]

Oh, man, he's great.

[B]

Yeah, I would love to work for him.

[A]

He sounds awesome as a boss. You know, A lot of good energy in that one.

[B]

You ever electrocute yourself, Charlie?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I have. I told you about that.

[B]

I did. I. I did. On my water heater.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What were you doing?

[B]

I was adjusting the dial of how hot the water could get, and I just touched the wrong thing. The nastiest shock. Look at the nastiest shock. And when I came to, I had an epiphany. Epiphery?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Said I need to hire someone to do this instead.

[A]

Yeah, there. There. You know, there. I. I told you about the extension cord when I was a kid, splic pulling out of the wall. And I've electrocuted myself a couple times since. I did avoid a massive electrocution, though. I was fixing this washing machine, or, sorry, dishwasher, and it had all the water coming up, so I was clearing it out on the bottom, and then I was like, oh, this is still. It still had water coming out. I was like, this is a deeper issue. So I pull it out, you know, and then I get underneath, and I'm messing with the live wires. And keep in mind, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just trying to see if something's not, like, hooked up or what. Then all of a sudden, I was like, wet hands, live electricity. This is stupid. So then I went down and I shut it off. But I. I could have almost killed myself on that one.

[B]

I watched my dad almost die.

[A]

Really? How'd he almost do it?

[B]

So at their lake cabin, they were getting rid of a baseboard heater. Oh, hooked up to electricity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He had thought that the electrician came and. And made sure it wasn't live. Well, he found out the hard way it was live. Sparks flew.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Emotions ran high.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we all were kind of, like, standing there, and obviously, he was pretty. He was pretty stoic. Frazzled.

[A]

Oh, he was frazzled.

[B]

Yeah. He just Got what's happening. And we look at the. Because he was going to cut the wire so we could take it off the wall.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there was a little like indent, perfect little semicircle of where he tried to cut the wire. It melted the metal that he was.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

So.

[A]

If you are standing on the ground, you are the ground.

[B]

So I could have had lot more baggage not growing up without a dad, you know.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Even more than I already got.

[A]

Well, we're just happy Bud's okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's a lesson for all you guys out there.

[A]

Y if you're gonna, you're gonna di DIY E L E C T R I C T Y YouTube it twice. Yeah, YouTube it twice.

[B]

Cut once, do something to make sure that the wire is not live.

[A]

Yeah. Turn, turn your power off.

[B]

Charlie. Should we take another caller?

[A]

Let's do it. Folks. The big game.

[B]

The game.

[A]

The game that's so big we can't even mention its actual name legally. But it's coming up.

[B]

The one on Sunday.

[A]

The Sunday game. And it starts with an S and it's, it's cool. Cool. And I'm going to have a big one.

[B]

Who's in the game, Charlie?

[A]

Oh, the packers are obviously playing, I hope. And anyways, while you're watching the game, the big game, you guys, the best way to do it is, the best way to enjoy is tip it on back with a little tippy cow.

[B]

Charlie. Here's a view of me watching the game this weekend. Ready?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ah, this tippy cow is great. Go team.

[A]

That's really good.

[B]

That's a live look in, in my living room.

[A]

No, I mean that, that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. I like your slurp. Somebody should. Oh yeah, yeah. There's nothing better than slurping the microphone.

[B]

So guys, this game, this weekend's game. Tip on back glass, tippy cow. It'll be that much better.

[A]

And the shirt.

[B]

And we have a shirt.

[A]

Miles. I guarantee you when I'm watching the big game, I'm gonna be wearing this big shirt. That's an, it's now actually this, this well fitting shirt. And if you guys want one of these shirts, just be a caller. We're gonna send that to some of y'all also. You can go buy it atyou betcha.com.

[B]

Oh, you betcha. Oh, you betcha.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, you betcha dot com. Miles. I, I, I, I, I was in this snowstorm the other day. Day. And I was behind this big old semi truck and it didn't have its lights on, the tail lights. And luckily I'm such a good driver because if I wasn't I would gone. I would have gone straight into the bag. I would have. I would have given that. What do you call it again? What did I just call it? That semi trucking enema. You know and enema with your own blood or what? An enema is where you go up the deal. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would. I would have given that sucker a colonoscopy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

In other words.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You get what I'm saying?

[B]

You would have been a human camera.

[A]

I would have been a human camera.

[B]

What's going on in here?

[A]

Yeah. And then I would have needed a lawyer because I don't think I'd be making it out of that tailpipe alive so. Or whoever what my living people were. But they would have called. Called 1-855-NICOLET because Russell over at Nicolette, man, he'll get you that money you deserve if you, if you're, you know, tailgate or riding a safe distance behind a semi without its lights on. Definitely don't say you're tailgating.

[B]

So yeah, call Nicolay or go to nicolalaw.com.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[B]

All right, guys. Well, we have David. David is a dairy farmer and a crop farmer. Farmer. And he's dating a vegetarian, Charlie. Whoa, David, how is that going?

[E]

It's slowly but surely I'm trying to get her back into eating me. It's not working too well, I'll be honest. But gotten to try chicken once in four months so there's at least that.

[A]

And you're. You're getting it. You're getting. Now why is she a vegetarian? Does she not like the taste of meat? Is she against animal things? Is it environmental issues? What's her. What's her motivation here?

[E]

I think it was a diet thing to start with and then she just kind of stuck with it.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

The one time she did try chicken it up her stomach. So yeah, it's kind of hard convincing her again but.

[B]

Well, that's what I've heard. It's. If you're a hardcore vegetarian, it. You have to ease yourself back into eating meat. Yeah, that actually what's. It's kind of like, you know, the first time you, you start drinking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're gonna get drunk pretty fast. You got to ease yourself into it.

[A]

Ease yourself back.

[B]

You can't drink a 30 rack the first time you do it.

[A]

Well, I think chicken's a good starter one right there. You don't want to go Ripe for the. Well, have you tried squirrel yet?

[E]

Yeah, I would get quite the crazy look there.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Don't tell her that it's squirrel. Tell her it's chicken.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I've never had squirrel.

[A]

You never had squirrel?

[E]

No. This just like a well known thing up here.

[A]

Where are you from?

[E]

I'm from up here, but I've never had squirrel, so that's why I'm a little.

[A]

Wow. Yeah.

[B]

Well, where's.

[A]

Up here? He's from up here.

[B]

Yeah, up here.

[A]

Up there.

[E]

I'm from Carver county in Minnesota.

[A]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Squirrel is actually a. It's a pretty. I mean, there's a lot of squirrels out there and they are tasty, so. And they're. They've got really good reproduction. So it's a sustainable meat. If you're looking.

[B]

What are the tactics that you've tried to convince her to start eating meat?

[E]

Well, she likes Indian food. I'm still trying to get to there because that's a whole new world for me. But they eat chicken here and there, so that was the one time I got her to at least try it. And so. But yeah, yeah, that's a whole new world I'm trying to get into as well. I've never had Indian food before last week. And then also it's gonna be interesting to tell dad because, you know, we got what, a whole barn just full of beef cattle and just tell them. Yeah, she's not gonna eat that.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

So you haven't told your dad that she's a vegetarian? No. Okay. How do you think that's gonna go?

[E]

He's gonna give me quite the weird look.

[A]

Yeah, this is the real coming out in the Midwest, you know you're coming out as a vegetarian. I mean. Yeah, it's like, how do you know?

[E]

If I told them I was a vegetarian, I'd be outcast. So.

[A]

Yeah. And a dairy farm family. Well, that, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I, you know, I feel like. Does she have. What if you. What if you tell her it's tofu? You know, you put in some stuff, you say, yeah, that's like tofu. Jeez. What about finger food? Would you. You like. Why did that. Miles, it was funny. Okay, okay. So she's not a tofu person. The Indian food, I feel like, could be your thing. You put enough spices and, and fragrances in the food, you kind of don't always know what you're eating.

[B]

That's the move. So he's a northern Minnesota guy. He's from up there. And If I know anything about Minnesotans, they don't necessarily dive headfirst into spicy foods. So I think what you got to do is you got to go an eye for an I. So you have to tell her, you know what? You love Indian food. I'm going to try the hottest Indian food you got. And you suffer through that. You suffer through. When you're eating it, you suffer through pushing it out the other end and you go, all right, I did mine. It's time for you to have a nice old rib eye.

[A]

I mean, this just sounds like a disaster for a new relationship. I'm going to try spicy food food, and you try eating meat for the first time. You guys are going to spend half the time being like, I just need to use the bathroom real quick.

[B]

I'll make sure you got good plumbing.

[A]

Yeah. Have the plunger there. Don't make the mistake of having the plunger at the downstairs bathroom. And then you gotta do the wa. The waddle of shame.

[B]

Well, that's. My parents had one. First of all, plungers aren't that expensive, are they, Charlie?

[A]

No, no.

[B]

My parents had one plunger and it was, you know, from. Had to been from the 80s.

[A]

Oh, one of the red ones with the wooden stick.

[B]

100%. And. And for whatever reason, we couldn't get a couple extra plungers. And just, you know, my. The bathroom that me and my brothers were in growing up was all the way on the top floor. We had two story house. And for whatever reason, we kept the plunger in the basement. So every single time you'd have to do the walk of shame and walk downstairs to get the plunger, they knew.

[A]

After you've been sitting for like 20 minutes upstairs and you do the, the. That second flight of stairs, they knew.

[B]

Yep. Yeah, 100%.

[A]

And then the worst is the third walk of shame when you got to go get the snake. You know, that's the, that's the icing on the cake right there. Yeah, you know, I, I could see that, that, that she. We start off with chicken. What? I don't know. I don't even know where you go from here.

[B]

How did you meet this gal?

[A]

Wasn't on Farmers Only, I'll tell you that much.

[E]

No, no, it was on some dating app, but I don't even remember which one.

[A]

How many dating apps are you on?

[E]

I was on like a few of them, but I just.

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

I couldn't remember.

[A]

He. He just won right there.

[B]

You think that this gal is wife material?

[E]

Heck yeah.

[B]

Oh, he's excited about it even despite the vegetarian issues.

[E]

Yeah, I mean like I wake up in the morning and then I go take my morning dump or whatever and I come out and all of a sudden my bed is made. And then no matter what I'm cooking, she's always doing the dishes without me asking.

[A]

Yeah. Is she smart and have a good personality too?

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We're trying to save you here right now. It's 2024 for God's sakes. You can't just say, yeah, she's a real good bed maker, I'll tell you that much.

[E]

No, but she does all the things without like having to be asked. Those are just quick examples.

[A]

David. What do you do for her, David?

[B]

Yeah, I don't even. The last girl I was dating, every time I'd come home from work, I had to tell her to start dinner. It pissed me off. You know, I get home at 5:15 every day. Why do I gotta tell you?

[A]

Where's the non vegetarian food? Look, what was the question, David? What do you do for her?

[E]

Pretty much the same thing. In return then. Yeah, I cover most of the bills and such. At least when we go out and you know, not that money is, you know, an issue as far as as like when a relationship that's far from what the main focus.

[B]

I love how he's like, I love how he's like, yeah, it's an equal relationship. She does all the work and then I just pay for stuff.

[A]

What did she do for a living?

[E]

She takes care of old people.

[A]

Okay, well that's great. That's great. That's what you can.

[B]

She probably became a vegetarian because she grinded up one too many hamburgers and put it in a smoothie. Yeah, it's kind of the opposite. She, she's fine with how the, the meat is, is made, but you don't like, you know how it comes out of, of a straw.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I, I, I could see that. Well, I, so.

[B]

I mean it doesn't sound like it's too much of it. Sounds like she's willing to try it out.

[A]

She's willing to try it. And also, what if she just wants to be a vegetarian? How, how to be?

[E]

I don't think it would be too big of a problem. Like I'm just never going to quit eating meat though. I told her that and she understood that. It's just going to be my parents having to get over it.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, let's do that. How are you going to break the news to your parents?

[E]

Well, like any Other time, probably a week before I introduce them, I'm going to let him know and then just see how that goes from there and just see the awkward stair.

[B]

What I would do if I were you is I would go over, have a nice steak dinner with your family and then right before you leave, just leave a note on the table and get out of there.

[E]

Yeah, that would be interesting.

[A]

Yeah. Give it a little time to blow over. I got a brother in law. That's a V word. And, and a virgin. No, they got, they got another on the way. Actually they're doing it. But I got to tell you this much at every. My dad, you know, my dad, he's kind of, he's. He's a meat eater himself and he just. The way it works is he gives every in law crap for something. So that's just the thing. He gives, you know, my brother in law crap for every time, you know, that and his tattoos and so he'll just roast them like. Oh, and then we cook the impossible burgers for him every time. So every time my dad's grill me, he's like, and we gotta get Gabe is bitch burger.

[E]

So I've tried imitation meat and that's not something I can stomach either.

[A]

Yeah, have you tried it?

[E]

Yeah, I've tried veggie burgers and yeah, you. If you haven't tried it, you're not missing out, I'll tell you that.

[A]

Yeah, I've tried a few bean burgers or whatever. They're not that bad, to be honest with you. It's all in how you season it.

[B]

And how much ketchup you dip it in.

[A]

Yeah, you put enough ketchup on that thing, you can't tell the difference. I'll tell you that much right there. Okay, what about this? What about if you go vegetarian for a week and she goes keto for a week, right? Keto's where you eat a bunch of meat, isn't it? I don't know. She goes, she goes, meat for a week, you go vegetarian for a week. Would you do a little Trading Places with your girlfriend?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, I'd try it. I don't think I'd get her to hop on that boat. It'd probably have to be an uneven equation, but it would be worth the shot.

[A]

You think? Do you think you could go vegetarian for a week?

[E]

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I definitely gorge myself after that week, but I think I could stomach it for a week.

[A]

All right, well, maybe try that. Maybe say, hey, I'm willing to sacrifice. You're willing to sacrifice and see how it goes from there. All right, David?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, well, thanks for calling in my guy. Tell your girlfriend when he says hi, and your dad, too.

[E]

All right, thank you.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Take care, man.

[A]

We'll see you.

[B]

Good on him, though. It's not a deal breaker. No, she must really. He must really like this gal.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, he is. I'm not sure where up there is, but I. You know, and then when he said.

[B]

It, I couldn't really hear it.

[A]

I think up there was, like, 1954. Four. Yeah. I go take a dump, and I come back and the bed's made. Nice, David. Nice. Noise. Noise.

[B]

Noise does sound pretty nice.

[A]

Yeah, it does sound nice.

[B]

Well, me and Anne haven't made a bed in the however many years we've been together.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know why you go making a bed. It's like tying your shoes. When you take them off, it sets.

[B]

The tone for the rest of the day.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

One of those deals.

[A]

To be honest with you, though, there was a period of time where I was making my bed, and it gives you a little dopamine right away. A little motivation, really. Yeah. But I don't do it anymore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not enough dopamine.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I got other things on my phone endlessly. You know, it gives me enough dopamine.

[A]

To get through, like, the next.

[B]

Yeah. So the time that I could be making my bed, I just scroll my phone right when I wake up, get the dopamine I need, and then I'm off on my day.

[A]

Oh, God. Yeah. Just build the plaque on your brain. Yeah.

[B]

Well, Charlie, I think that's another episod good episode of the Bellied up podcast.

[A]

Yes, it is. Miles, it's been a pleasure sitting here with you at the Heller House in Milwaukee.

[B]

And, yeah, folks, if you haven't been here, you got to get in here. They're a great group of people, and it's a nice bar.

[A]

Nice bar with bowling.

[B]

So, guys, thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next one. And as always, remember to do what.

[A]

Charlie, tip your bartender. See you.