We Might of Uncovered Government Secrets #145

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: We Might of Uncovered Government Secrets #145
Release Date: March 27, 2025
Hosts: Charlie Berens & Myles (You Betcha Guy)
Location: Doc Jekyll's Bar, Appleton, Wisconsin

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Introduction

In Episode #145 of the Bellied Up podcast, hosts Charlie Berens and Myles dive into a humorous exploration of everyday dilemmas and quirky experiences, all while interacting with callers from the Midwest and beyond. This episode blends witty banter with amusing anecdotes, setting the stage for an evening of laughter and relatable content.

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Main Topics

1. The Shaken Espresso Fiasco

Timestamp: [00:50] - [07:00]

Myles initiates the conversation by sharing his recent experience with Starbucks' "shaken espresso" drinks. Curious about the media buzz, he decides to try it out only to be met with disappointment.

• Myles: "I literally just got like a. It wasn't even shake shaking. It was just like. It was just, like, moved around a little bit." [04:21]
• Charlie: "Folks, let this be a lesson to you. Do not get the shaken espresso. The only drink coffee is black." [04:49]

After paying extra for the shaky concoction, Miles is frustrated by the underwhelming result, prompting a discussion on whether Starbucks' innovation is merely a marketing ploy. The hosts agree that sometimes venturing outside one's comfort zone doesn't yield positive outcomes, reinforcing Miles' vow to stick to traditional black coffee.

---

2. Caller John’s Day Off

Timestamp: [09:40] - [27:20]

John calls in, describing his routine of loading trucks and hauling corn. He self-identifies as an "asshole" when he's not fueled by his morning coffee. The conversation humorously critiques John's rigid routine and his attempts to maintain a semblance of normalcy despite battling the flu and dealing with a hip replacement.

• John: "My music's too old, so I like to listen to between 50s and 90s country music. Now, am I just in old soul, living in a younger generation, or am I just not hip enough for this new generation?" [12:33]
• Charlie: "You're just an acquired taste. Yeah, like broccoli." [26:34]

John candidly discusses his weight loss journey, sobriety, and challenges with finding pants that fit his new physique. The hosts empathize while playfully ribbing him about his lifestyle changes and debating the impact of his sudden transformation.

---

3. Brad’s Complex Dating Life

Timestamp: [28:07] - [64:40]

Brad's extensive and convoluted call unfolds as he navigates the murky waters of dating as a 39-year-old freshman in college. He shares his struggles with dating significantly younger women, balancing his past as a supposed mercenary, and his current academic pursuits in medicine and religious studies.

• Brad: "However, I may have took her mom out on a date, so there's that too." [46:44]
• Charlie: "Brad, you got so many game, dude. You're taking professors and 18-year-olds out on dates." [40:02]

The conversation delves into Brad's exaggerated military background, his non-veteran status despite claiming combat experience, and his humorous yet awkward attempts to align his personal life with his professional aspirations. The hosts provide playful yet candid advice, emphasizing the importance of appropriate age gaps and genuine connections.

---

4. Devin’s Drunk Runner Dilemma

Timestamp: [65:22] - [70:04]

Devin Sansca from South Dakota calls with a unique relationship issue: his girlfriend tends to run away drunk from bars. The hosts discuss strategies to handle such situations, blending practical advice with comedic insights.

• Myles: "Maybe this relationship ain't gonna last a while." [66:14]
• Charlie: "Yeah, Some people just. I guess. Do they. Do they wander? They're wanderers." [67:03]

The discussion humorously explores the concept of "drunk runners," comparing it to child safety measures like leashes. The hosts jest about the feasibility and social acceptability of such measures, ultimately suggesting that Devin might need to address underlying relationship issues.

---

Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Charlie and Myles maintain a light-hearted yet engaging tone, effectively balancing humor with genuine conversations. They tackle a variety of topics—from the mundanity of coffee shop innovations to the complexities of modern dating and personal health struggles—providing listeners with both laughs and relatable content.

• Charlie: "It's like Vanessa Wilder kinda like, like." [41:13]
• Myles: "That's the first rule in journalism. Just keep asking questions and be silent." [65:04]

The episode underscores the importance of staying true to oneself, the challenges of adapting to new societal norms, and the value of supportive friendships. By interacting with callers and sharing their own experiences, Charlie and Myles create a dynamic and entertaining narrative that resonates with a diverse audience.

---

Notable Quotes

1. Myles on Shaken Espresso Disappointment:
   "I literally just got like a. It wasn't even shake shaking. It was just like. It was just, like, moved around a little bit." [04:21]

2. Charlie on Shaken Espresso Lesson:
   "Folks, let this be a lesson to you. Do not get the shaken espresso. The only drink coffee is black." [04:49]

3. John on Music Preferences and Age:
   "My music's too old, so I like to listen to between 50s and 90s country music." [12:33]

4. Charlie on Miles' Style:
   "You should have gotten your money back." [05:05]

5. Brad on His Educational Pursuits:
   "I'm doing both medicine and like, religious stuff." [52:16]

6. Myles on Journalism:
   "That's the first rule in journalism. Just keep asking questions and be silent." [65:04]

---

Conclusion

"We Might of Uncovered Government Secrets #145" is a testament to Bellied Up's unique blend of comedy, personal storytelling, and listener engagement. Charlie Berens and Myles adeptly navigate through humorous mishaps, personal confessions, and caller interactions, delivering an episode that's both entertaining and thought-provoking. Whether grappling with the quirks of modern coffee trends or the intricate dance of relationships, this episode offers laughter and insight in equal measure.

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For more episodes and to join the conversation, follow Bellied Up on Instagram and tune in every Thursday at Doc Jekyll's Bar.

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back, folks, to another episode of the Bellied up podcast.

[Charlie]

We are bellied up with you at this bar, Doc Jekyll's. Dr. Jekyll's here in Appleton, Wisconsin.

[Miles]

DJ, as I call DJ.

[Charlie]

What's up, Miles?

[Miles]

Charlie, I got a little something to get off my chest today.

[Charlie]

Yeah, what is it?

[Miles]

So in our hotel, there was a shaving. No. God, no.

[Charlie]

Oh, you let the taco meat fly, baby.

[Miles]

Yeah. I told you I did this. I did it once in high school. I shaved my chest and I said, I cannot do this for 70 years.

[Charlie]

No.

[Miles]

So I just let it buck ever since.

[Charlie]

Good for you. Got hair on your back, too. Let me see. Oh, you got some stragglers.

[Miles]

It's slowly working its way down.

[Charlie]

Yeah, you'll get there one day.

[Miles]

No. So at our hotel, they have a Starbucks there.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Miles]

And I've been hearing a lot of hoopla in the media about coffee drinks that are shaken espressos.

[Charlie]

What does that mean?

[Miles]

They. They literally shake your drink. Like.

[Charlie]

Like a martini.

[Miles]

Yeah, martini. You know, margarita, stuff like that.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Miles]

And so I had to try it out.

[Charlie]

Really? You tried that? Hey, Starbucks shakes drinks.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I was. I mean, I'm an experiment guy. I wanted to see. I can't knock it unless I try it.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Miles]

So I bought one of those.

[Charlie]

You have to buy them.

[Miles]

The fuck are you talking about?

[Charlie]

I mean. Well, I mean, what I'm thinking.

[Miles]

You just go to Starbucks and you just get free drinks.

[Charlie]

Well, the way I thought is, like, you pulled it off the rack. So that's the way my brain went. Like, you know, you can buy. Buy those, like, shady Starbucks drinks when you go to, like, you get those for free.

[Miles]

You just stealing drinks from gas.

[Charlie]

I said the wrong thing. I says the wrong thing. Whatever. All right, so you buy a shaken espresso at Starbuckers or whatever. I hate Starbucks. What about it?

[Miles]

Okay, so I wanted to try it out, right?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And I order it and my shaking espresso, the lady puts it in the thing. Puts it in the thing to shake it, and just goes. And then pours it into the thing.

[Charlie]

Did you have to pay extra for that?

[Miles]

I got. I got. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're paying extra for a shaken espresso. It shows up. It's not mixed together in there. I then had to do the little swirl thing.

[Charlie]

You had to shake your own shaken espresso?

[Miles]

Correct.

[Charlie]

Oh, for God.

[Miles]

So what am I paying for, dude?

[Charlie]

I don't know.

[Miles]

What you're paying basically, is paying for a. Dude, it's like two extra bucks for a shake espresso. I got. I had to pay a buck per shake.

[Charlie]

That's insane, dude.

[Miles]

$1. $2.

[Charlie]

She just gave two shakes.

[Miles]

So then I started. I. You got piqued my interest. So I googled it. I was like, well, what's the difference between a regular coffee drink and a shaken one? And it turns out that if you do it right, it becomes a little bit smoother and there's a froth on the top.

[Charlie]

So like a cappuccino.

[Miles]

So then I've asked GBT further. Is this all just a marketing ploy and basically like. Yeah, pretty much.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Just a marketing gimmick. So we're paying two extra dollars for them to go with your drink.

[Charlie]

Wow.

[Miles]

Crazy.

[Charlie]

Hey. Couldn't believe it, you know, I can't believe that they can't give you just a little bit more.

[Miles]

That's what happens when you go outside your comfort zone. Nothing good.

[Charlie]

No, no. That's why you stick with drinking your coffee.

[Miles]

I say nightmare is just on the other side of your comfort zone. Don't do it. Don't go there.

[Charlie]

I like your style, Miles. I agree with you. I'm mad for you.

[Miles]

Yeah. I couldn't believe it.

[Charlie]

You should have gotten your money back.

[Miles]

There was, like, a sign there that said that that was the girl's last day working there, so.

[Charlie]

Did it really?

[Miles]

For. She might have had a little case of the fuck. It's.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Senioritis.

[Charlie]

Senioritis on the old.

[Miles]

I was expecting a no froth on top. So much bite. It wasn't smooth at all.

[Charlie]

Was it in, like, a thing that you get the bar. The mixer at the bar was in one of those.

[Miles]

I don't remember. I was so taken aback by the whole lack of shaking.

[Charlie]

I'm so sorry.

[Miles]

I literally just got like a. It wasn't even shake shaking. It was just like. It was just, like, moved around a little bit. I got a moved around espresso. Moved around because it wasn't even, like, stirred completely either.

[Charlie]

That's wild because it's just like an espresso shot, right? It's just a shot.

[Miles]

But why do we. Why can't you just stir it? It's like, it's not gonna be that. It's not like this is a $50 cocktail that's got smoke and all that. Yeah.

[Charlie]

Folks, let this be a lesson to you. Do not get the shaken espresso. The only drink coffee is black. And be careful. If anyone encourages adventure out of your comfort zone, just know that you'll be disappointed. Okay.

[Miles]

That's right. That's right. I couldn't believe it.

[Charlie]

I couldn't believe you paid extra for that. What's happened to you? You become like a. All big, big town now. Big fancy guy, you know, wearing white shirts.

[Miles]

I didn't want to bring it up.

[Charlie]

You're wearing white shirts. Literally white shirts and shaking espressos. What happened to your roots, Miles?

[Miles]

I literally did it as an experime to try it out, and I just got burnt.

[Charlie]

I don't know what's wrong with you. You. You did you. Was it hot?

[Miles]

No, it was cold. It was a shaking iced espresso.

[Charlie]

Oh, my gosh. You're getting ice espresso too, now?

[Miles]

I wanted to try it out.

[Charlie]

Count on you to get burnt by iced espresso. You know, leave it to you, Miles.

[Miles]

Should have just got a monster. Oh, yeah, at the hotel. Like little candy area. That's what I get. It's what I get.

[Charlie]

I put a monster into the yucca app. That stuff's cancer.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, but we're all gonna get.

[Charlie]

It someday, so I wonder what the beer is in the yuck app. Should I try to scan also?

[Miles]

You.

[Charlie]

No, you for showing me the yucca app, dude.

[Miles]

No, you. You act like me. Me trying a shaken espresso one time is like sin to a man.

[Charlie]

You said this knowing that's where I was going to go with it. Dude, B, you were disappointed with it. Yeah, I can do some things that.

[Miles]

You try once and I don't. I hold my tongue.

[Charlie]

Who says it's dumb? How do you know the things I've tried once, Miles? I don't tell you about those. Well, this got awkward here at the intro, didn't it? Now you're curious, aren't you? I'm not going to tell you. I only tell you the things I've tried twice.

[Miles]

I just thought I'd inform any listeners that were thinking about a shaken espresso. Beware.

[Charlie]

Beware. It's a. It's a. It's a crackpot. It's just a single shot.

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Charlie]

You don't know?

[Miles]

I walked up to the counter, I looked, saw they had a shaken espresso. Heard a lot of hoopla about them lately. Tried one disaster.

[Charlie]

It's crazy. You've heard hoopla? You're telling me the first time. This is the first time hearing about shaken espress?

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, it's. I feel like it's very popular right now, is it not?

[Charlie]

I don't know. Bren. Have you heard of shaken espresso? Have you heard of shaken espresso Today?

[Miles]

I did.

[Charlie]

If our bartender hasn't heard about shaken espresso, I don't know.

[Miles]

You guys aren't plugged into pop culture like I am.

[Charlie]

Clearly not, folks. That's why you don't go buy coffee, okay? Go to the bar. Buy the real stuff.

[Miles]

What? All right, Charlie, should we take some callers?

[Charlie]

I guess so, Miles. Let's do it.

[Miles]

That's also. That's the last time that I tell you I tried something new.

[Charlie]

What do you mean? It's a safe space.

[Miles]

No, it's not.

[Charlie]

The Bellied Up. The. The Bellied up podcast is a sacred place. You can tell me anything.

[Miles]

No, I can't.

[Charlie]

Yeah, you can. Oh, you can't take a little ridicule? What's wrong with you?

[Miles]

No.

[Charlie]

You know, you used to be a man. Now you're up here, just a little boy drinking your shaking ass.

[Miles]

See what I mean?

[Charlie]

Why don't you shake that ass? Shake that ass for me. Shake that ass for me. What a stupid thing. Miles, next time, you just get yourself a black coffee like a man, all right? Disgusting. What's next, lattes? Cappuccinos, huh? Golly.

[Miles]

Macchiatos.

[Charlie]

Macchiatos. Do you ever get pumps when you go to espresso or go to. What's it called? Starbucks. You ever get pumps?

[Miles]

If you get a latte, they put pumps in it, I believe.

[Charlie]

Do they? So you get lattes, huh?

[Miles]

I have gotten a latte in my life. Yes. I had to see what all the hoopla was about.

[Charlie]

I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one thing. I don't know how Starbucks is still around. You know, the only reason Starbucks is still around is because they put them off the highways. You know, if that wasn't the case, nobody's like, oh, great, we're going to Starbucks.

[Miles]

I think Charlie just discovered how business works. You put your location where there's a lot of people, you get business. That's so weird.

[Charlie]

No, but what was so strange? Who was the last.

[Miles]

They should be putting them in fucking Barnesville, Minnesota.

[Charlie]

Yeah, it's a nice town. Who is the last?

[Miles]

Castleton, North Dakota, is where they should be.

[Charlie]

Put another nice.

[Miles]

According to Charlie.

[Charlie]

Yeah, there's a nice spot there.

[Miles]

All right. Should we take some callers?

[Charlie]

Well, you got me hot and bothered now, Miles, about this whole. Anyways, yeah, we should take some callers.

[John]

Hi, this must be Miles.

[Miles]

It is. I got Charlie here with me, too. Is this John yes, sir, it is. All right, guys. Well, we got John on the line, and John is always loading trucks and hauling corn, and he's wondering if he's an asshole. Is that true, John?

[John]

Of course. Of course.

[Miles]

So.

[John]

Especially when I don't have my morning coffee.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah, I don't. You don't want to run into Charlie Barron's if he hasn't had his morning coffee either. And if he does have his morning coffee, he's probably gonna spill it all over your pants and sweatshirt.

[Charlie]

I spilled. I spilled coffee on Miles today. So I'm kind of wondering, am I the.

[John]

Oh, oh, right. No, I always. You know, when someone says good morning to me, I say, yeah, it sure is. Oh, is that an. Is that an thing to say to anyone?

[Miles]

I don't. I. Good chuckle.

[Charlie]

Try it on for size. Ask me. Say good morning to me, Mo.

[Miles]

Good morning.

[Charlie]

I don't know. Is it?

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't. I didn't get vibes.

[Charlie]

No, no, no, no. Try it again.

[Miles]

Good morning.

[Charlie]

I don't know. Is it. It's in how you say it. It's in how you say it.

[Miles]

True. What else. What other stuff are you doing that's making you seem like an asshole?

[Charlie]

Also, what are you doing right now? You're breathing pretty deep.

[Miles]

He's loading trucks and hauling corn.

[John]

I actually took a sixth day today, so I'm sitting in my garage when you.

[Miles]

When you called and left a voicemail with us, you said that you're always loading trucks and hauling corn.

[Charlie]

Do you know the definition of always?

[John]

Of what?

[Charlie]

Always, always or all is. You are an. Yeah, I.

[John]

Got me there.

[Miles]

Your laugh kind of sounds like the moose soup lady.

[John]

Yeah. No, no, we're sick, so we took a sick day today.

[Miles]

Well, why you under the weather? You got a cold? You got the flu? What's going on?

[John]

I think it's the flu. I think it's the flu. Is this at home working? So I'm just sitting in the garage putzing around on stuff.

[Miles]

So we're getting a John flu game performance quite literally right now, pretty much.

[John]

I know. I never give up. It's been sun up to sundown. Some overnights, moving greens. I got contracts to fill.

[Miles]

Yeah, just. Just loading trucks and hauling corn and soybeans.

[John]

And then I was gonna add. Oh.

[Miles]

Oh, no, no, no, no, you go ahead. You go ahead.

[John]

And now the other thing is, I also did leave a voicemail. My wife says that I'm old now. You know, I may be 29 with a hip replacement, but. No, she says My music's too old, so I like to listen to between 50s and 90s country music. Now, am I just in old soul, living in a younger generation, or am I just not hip enough for this new generation?

[Miles]

Well, it sounds like you definitely weren't hip enough because you had to replace it.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Good.

[John]

I see what you did there. That was good. I'll give you that one.

[Charlie]

I think that's the best era of country music right there. The 90s, it starts getting a little too. I drive my truck, get her in the front seat, dip can, something or another. Let me ask you this, though. What are you doing in your garage right now? I got to know because it sounds like you're struggling.

[Miles]

You are breathing so heavy.

[John]

I'm walking around, keeping up with my blue heeler and see what else am I doing? I'm trying to work on a chainsaw.

[Charlie]

What's wrong with the chainsaw?

[John]

What's wrong with the chainsaw? We're doing a couple of modifications to it so that we can bring up the RPM on it so that it'll be more productive. You know, they. They choke them up from the factory.

[Miles]

So you're de. Choking.

[John]

All right, fine. I'll sit. Will that be better if I sit?

[Miles]

I love how you are an asshole. He calls us and gets pissed. He calls us and just sounds like this the whole time. And he gets mad at us if we ask him if he's okay, like.

[Charlie]

How he's got the flu, too, and he decides to spend the day in his freezing garage. I can hear you sniffling over.

[Miles]

He's like, I took a sick day from work, Brick, so I could work in the garage.

[John]

I actually, when we redid our garage, I put in floor in. Oh, it is a cozy 73 degrees in my garage.

[Charlie]

Holy smokes. That's a sauna for a garage.

[Miles]

That's why his nose is running.

[Charlie]

Yeah, he's getting all those toxins out. Good for you.

[Miles]

You say your wife thinks you're too old. How old is she?

[John]

She's 29.

[Charlie]

So you're both 29?

[John]

Younger than me.

[Charlie]

Both 29. She just thinks your music's old. I don't think your music's old. Is that your wife's biggest complaint about you?

[John]

And then I work too much. Yeah, well, that every wife's.

[Miles]

Isn't that funny, though? The day he takes off, he. She makes him go to the garage, did she? You work too much. All right, I'll come home now. Go to the garage. Get out of my sight.

[Charlie]

She kick you out No, I went out here.

[John]

She's in a meeting.

[Charlie]

She's in a meeting, huh?

[John]

Of course.

[Miles]

Anything else over here?

[John]

Just sitting in the garage.

[Miles]

Yeah. Anything else you'd like to get off your chest or hip?

[John]

There was one other thing too. Gosh dang it. Yeah, I know. Being sick doesn't help either.

[Miles]

Yeah. Foggy, Foggy brain.

[John]

Of course.

[Miles]

I mean, I, I will have to say that Michael Jordan did drop like 60 points when he had the flu. So just throw that out.

[John]

There's one more. There's one more. But. Oh, oh, there, there we go. I think y'all, since you guys do a little movies or a little video skits. Yeah, I think you guys should do a little skit where you guys do little jobs around the Midwest.

[Charlie]

Oh.

[John]

Like it's kind, it's kind of a knockoff of dirty jobs, but it be.

[Charlie]

We just call them little jobs.

[John]

Little jobs.

[Miles]

Yeah. We'll just call messy jobs.

[Charlie]

Messy jobs.

[Miles]

Yeah. The Midwest. Messy jobs.

[Charlie]

Yeah. It's completely different.

[John]

I don't know what it is, but I can really see. Charlie pull a calf.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[John]

We're in the heart of cabin season.

[Miles]

Charlie, you could pull a calf. I'll just do a ride along with John.

[Charlie]

I, there was, you know, I was doing a thing over at the technical college and they had a little calf in the deal and you'd put the sleeves on and you pull it out like a simulator. A calf simulator. I was in it. I was elbow deep in it.

[Miles]

Did they do all the smells and whatnot as well?

[Charlie]

No, it was smell free.

[Miles]

Okay, I'll do that.

[Charlie]

Yeah, yeah, it's right over, right over here. It was fun. Yeah. What do you do?

[Miles]

You.

[Charlie]

Are you on a farm yourself or no. You're just driving?

[John]

No, actually I actually help out the in laws, so they're literally right out my back door. You can walk across the field, which is about three quarter of a mile and poof, you're there.

[Charlie]

Poof. Just otherwise.

[John]

Otherwise if you take the road, it's about a mile and a half.

[Miles]

I, I'm be honest, in your condition, I wouldn't walk that three quarter mile. I don't know if you're gonna make it today.

[John]

No, I'm not. Especially when it's five below. Heck no.

[Charlie]

Oh, heck no. What happened to your hip?

[John]

Not listening to the doctors saying to take care of myself and lots of, let's see. When I was growing up, I played hockey, football. Oh, yeah. Partying too hard.

[Charlie]

Partying too hard. Jumping off roofs.

[John]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I'm so confused.

[Charlie]

By you. What? What is.

[Miles]

Are you an old man or are you a degenerate? I can't tell. I can't. I can't.

[John]

Maybe a mixture of both. Maybe a mixture of both.

[Charlie]

Are your partying days behind you?

[John]

Oh, yeah. Yep. Ever since surgery. I'm a year sober now.

[Miles]

Oh, wow. Congratulations.

[Charlie]

You're sober. Yeah. Congratulations.

[Miles]

Congratulations or I'm sorry. Whatever way you want to take it.

[John]

Actually, I do feel better. I did drop £120.

[Charlie]

Holy shit. £120. Good for you.

[John]

I'm starting to look like Miles. And now. And now I gotta. And now I gotta custom order my pants sizes now.

[Charlie]

Custom order them?

[John]

I gotta buy them offline. Fleet Farm don't. Fleet Farm no longer carries my sizes.

[Charlie]

What's your size?

[John]

28.

[Miles]

Holy.

[John]

Farm goes at least in my neck of the woods. Is 32.

[Miles]

What a kick to the nuts he's got by custom pants because he's 120 pounds heavier. Then he loses too much weight and he still got to buy custom pants. Yeah, I mean, you should. You should have stopped a couple sizes ago so you at least get some affordable pants, right?

[John]

I was a size 40 and I'm a size 28.

[Charlie]

Holy frick. How tall are you?

[John]

I'm. I'm short, so I'm five foot seven.

[Charlie]

Five seven. Okay. Wow. Well, congratulations. How'd you lose the weight? Just not drinking.

[John]

Not drinking. A lot of people say that I was starving myself, but I did a little bit of intermittent fasting. When I did OTR trucking, I'd go Monday through Friday without eating, and then I just eat on the weekends.

[Charlie]

What?

[Miles]

That's not intermittent fasting. That's just fasting. That's just regular fasting.

[John]

That's fasting.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[John]

Nothing but water during the week.

[Miles]

No. I will have to say I. We as humans, we don't need as much food. Food as we think we do. Yeah, no, I figured that out. Trying to lose weight you just don't need. It's a. Food is way more psychological than anything. I think it.

[John]

It is. And if I would eat, it would be a. Just mostly a carnivore based diet. So beef, eggs, butter.

[Charlie]

Yeah, you're just.

[John]

Especially when you got cows around you. You got. Basically when you got cows around, you know, there's no sort. No shortage of beef, so.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Charlie]

How does your wife does. Is your wife happy now you're not drinking? Does she. Does she have it? What's her biggest complaint now that you're not drinking?

[John]

I'm too well with the weight loss. I'm too bony. I'm not as good to snuggle with anymore.

[Miles]

When. When you. When you married her door. You're. Were you a big boy then as well?

[John]

I. Looking at pictures now, you can tell I was pretty husky, but I kind of filled it out because when I was in my. I'll consider this my prime. I used to squat. Used to squat 540, and then I used to leg press 600.

[Miles]

So you just got to start lifting again, too, then.

[John]

I'm. I'm old. I'm fragile.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

29 years old.

[Miles]

He does have a hit replacement, though.

[Charlie]

He just said, I'm in my. I guess I'm in my prime.

[Miles]

No, he's saying that that was his prime. He's past his prime.

[Charlie]

Oh, you're pastor.

[John]

My prime. Well, didn't they change the. What the heck is it? You're not. Not your halfway.

[Charlie]

But middle age.

[John]

Yeah. Didn't they move it? Isn't it, like 25 now?

[Miles]

It would be going the other way. We're living longer now.

[John]

Oh, we are.

[Charlie]

He just said that, like, you gave. Like you extended his prison sentence.

[Miles]

Yeah. He's like, oh, yeah, I forgot. That sucks.

[Charlie]

What do you do for fun other than where.

[John]

I actually. I did go ice fishing for the first time and since I got married.

[Charlie]

Oh, wow. Congratulations. You get anything?

[John]

A couple perch. Picked up a FL18 off Marketplace for 100 bucks. I'm pretty sure it's stolen, but, hey, it works out well.

[Charlie]

Hey, you got it. You got it. Good for you. You gonna do any more of that this winter yet?

[John]

I'm hoping so. If I get better, I'll go out next for Friday. That's my birthday, so.

[Brad]

Yeah, you're gonna be.

[John]

I got a cup.

[Miles]

If you're. You're about to turn 30, dude, you might. You better make sure you get your will updated. You're getting old.

[John]

I don't know. I don't. Hopefully.

[Charlie]

Go on.

[John]

I got a couple of buddies who got those nice ice castles. I went on last weekend and never realized that ice can be thick and tough. It's been a while.

[Charlie]

It has been a while.

[John]

You do a little over three and a half foot.

[Miles]

Wow.

[John]

Device where we were at.

[Charlie]

Wow. Geez, that's a lot of ice.

[Miles]

I need a long auger.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Seriously?

[John]

Yeah, it was a lot of. It was a lot of downward. Downward pressure on the auger.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. And you don't have any of that anymore.

[John]

No, I do not.

[Miles]

And you got to go in Ice house if you're Just sitting on a bucket out there. You're now going to fly away in the wind.

[John]

I know. I even got, I even got one of them Milwaukee heated jackets now. And I bring three, four extra batteries with me.

[Miles]

Yeah, when you lose a bunch away, you get cold way faster.

[John]

Yeah, no one told me that.

[Miles]

I know.

[Charlie]

Did you used to be a shorts in the winter guy?

[John]

Yep. Shorts and a T shirt. I'm wearing bibs and parkas and you name it, everything.

[Miles]

Are you doing any rehab for your hip?

[John]

No, that was only two, three months.

[Miles]

Oh, nice of that.

[John]

Of physical therapy.

[Miles]

So I was wondering, because old guys, they don't, they hate rehab. Yeah, my dad gets, actually, my dad, you know, does, gets his knees done and then he doesn't do any rehab and then wonders why his knees still hurt. That's such a thing.

[John]

Oh, no, I, I started doing that right away because they said, well, if you don't do it, you're not going to be able to walk. And then it's like, well, now what the hell are you gonna do?

[Miles]

True, true. Well, man, we appreciate calling in. You know, when we started to answer your first question, me and Charlie would have definitely been like, yeah, this guy's an asshole. But once you get to know you, you're not so bad. So there you go.

[Charlie]

You're just an acquired, acquired taste.

[Miles]

Yeah, you're like broccoli.

[Charlie]

Yeah, like, this is actually good for me.

[Miles]

Says the guy on the carnivore diet. All right, man, well, thanks for calling in. Hopefully you feel better. Good luck with the hip, good luck with the sobriety, and congrats on the weight loss.

[John]

Appreciate it. Hopefully we'll hear from you guys soon. I'll check in when I'm not is stuffed up.

[Charlie]

All right. Yeah, good luck with that chainsaw, too. Get a V8 on that sucker.

[John]

Now. Once I wreck my Cummins, I'll, I'll make it a diesel powered.

[Miles]

All right, have a good one, man.

[John]

Yep. Thank you.

[Miles]

We'll see it. If you would have asked me if this guy was fat or skinny, I would have definitely said he was really fat.

[Charlie]

Yeah, he's got that going.

[Miles]

Not, he's like, he lost a bunch of weight, but he still, you know.

[Charlie]

Sounds like he's got the attitude. He sounds like he's in pain.

[Miles]

It may have just been that his sinuses were plugged up, but yeah, Good, good guy.

[Charlie]

28 waist. Wow.

[Miles]

I, I, I couldn't, I couldn't get there. I don't think.

[Charlie]

No, I think.

[Miles]

What are you, 32? Yeah, I'm like, at 34, 36 in there still.

[Charlie]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

But I lift, you know, I squat, and you can get there.

[Charlie]

Yeah, I see. I see. Those quads are looking nice. Yeah. Arms too. Good. Yeah.

[Miles]

Should we take another caller?

[Charlie]

Let's do it.

[Miles]

All right, Charlie, we got a voicemail from John. John, John from South Dakota.

[John]

So I'm hoping that this is, like, the right number for the Belly to podcast. Got some international dating questions for the guys. Basically, girlfriend at the airport asked me, you know, how do you say goodbye to somebody you love? I leaned in and I said, watch for dear. Tell your folks that says hi. Then she slapped the crap out of me. So I'm just kind of wondering where that really leads. Leaves me. So I'm hoping, you know, might be.

[Charlie]

Able to get a funny story out.

[John]

Of it, get some advice from Miles and Charles and Charlie.

[Charlie]

So that's hilarious. So he's just sitting at an airport, and someone comes up to him and.

[Miles]

Says, how do I say no, no, no. He brought his girlfriend to the airport, and she's. She was clearly emotional, Charlie, because she's leaving him.

[Charlie]

Oh, no, I get it. I thought this was some random. No, I thought he was kidding when he said, I met my girlfriend at the airport.

[Miles]

No. So. And then she was like, how do you. You know, how do you say goodbye to someone you love?

[Charlie]

Watch for dear.

[Miles]

Tell your folks.

[Charlie]

Tell your folks.

[Miles]

I thought that would work.

[Charlie]

It should work.

[Miles]

He's got the wrong gal.

[Charlie]

Yeah. You know, and that's really what you're finding it out now. It's better to find out now than. Than later down the road. I mean, that. That should have just warmed her heart like. Like butter on cheese, but apparently not.

[Miles]

Yeah, she should have been like, take me to the recombobulation area and discombobulate my insides.

[Charlie]

Oh. Shout out. Milwaukee Airport, ladies and gentlemen. Miles, you really took that there, didn't you? Golly.

[Miles]

That is a sentence I thought I would never, ever say.

[Charlie]

I don't think anyone's ever said that, Miles. But here it is being said. Clip that and send it to Ann. She must be so proud. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do we go from here? Good luck, buddy. I want to know where his gals from, though.

[Miles]

Oh, well, Charlie, we're gonna have to get you used to taking voicemails because we can't get that information. It's just a voicemail.

[Charlie]

I know.

[Miles]

We gotta fill in the gaps ourselves.

[Charlie]

Fill in the gaps. Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, what would you say if you couldn't say, tell your folks I says, hi. Watch out for deer. What would you. If I'm. Yeah. How do you tell someone. What was it again? How do you say goodbye to someone that you really love?

[Charlie]

I really love you.

[Miles]

I was thinking maybe give me something more than that.

[Charlie]

I mean, your beard looks nice, but it looks a little scratchy. So right now I'm just gonna tell you, I really love you, Miles.

[Miles]

I love you too.

[Charlie]

Yeah, I don't know. How would you say it? How would you say it? Like, let's say. Let's say your gals from Latvia or something. Latvia? Why not?

[Miles]

Well, I was just gonna go the route that you. You just. You need to get emotional.

[Charlie]

Huh?

[Miles]

And then just say, like. I just. I can't. I can't say, put into words how much I love you.

[Charlie]

Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah, you gotta think about something. Like, right?

[Miles]

It's like at the end of sports games when they're like, tell us how you feel about winning that game. It's like, I'm just speechless. You're like, okay, well, that sucks because there's a tv, you know, Just take that approach. So it'd be like.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You say goodbye to someone you love.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Ah, God, that's a really good question, man. I don't know. I just. I can't express how much I love you.

[Charlie]

Well, that sucks because I just asked you to do that. You got it. It's true. You gotta take a beat and you gotta think about something that really makes you. You. You feel that love. You gotta think about, like. Like the time, you know, the packers got into the super bowl, like, for the first time in decades, like the 1990, 96, 97 season, you know?

[Miles]

Was that their first super bowl ever?

[Charlie]

No, Miles, they won the first two fricking Super Bowls.

[Miles]

Sorry. Sorry, sorry. You kidding me? I just get those confused with the championships, you know, titles.

[Charlie]

Miles. Title town. Do we have to have this conversation again? I'm trying to get emotional. And then you just transfer that emotion to the person in front of you.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Because most Midwest guys are pretty emotionally unavailable human beings, but it's. Unless it comes to sports.

[Charlie]

Yeah, Sports, fishing. You know, first time you got a buck, all those things. Bring those emotions into it, channel it. That's it. Well, good.

[Miles]

How does it make you feel, Charlie, that you got this guy slapped across the face?

[Charlie]

I didn't get. I didn't tell him to say that. Well, I did tell him to say that, actually. You know, he. Now he knows. Now he knows that either this relationship's not going to work out or they got some growing to do yet. Still.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, John, thanks for leaving a voicemail. Hopefully you're still together.

[Charlie]

Yeah. If not.

[Miles]

And if so, tell your girlfriend we says hi.

[Charlie]

Tell her we says, watch for deer and give her a wink after that.

[Miles]

All right, guys, again we have our lawyer, our friend Russell Nicolay on the line. The people's lawyer, as I call him.

[Charlie]

He's the people's lawyer. This is Trumpet.

[Miles]

Russell. How are you?

[John]

Hey.

[Russell]

Doing well, guys, thanks for the introduction in the Trumpet. I appreciate it. How are you guys doing?

[Charlie]

Like a dog.

[Miles]

I wish Charlie would do that for me more. You sound like a dog.

[Charlie]

I know.

[Miles]

There's that cartoon. Yeah, you sound like Blue's clothes. So before we talk to Russell about this, Charlie, you got summoned for jury duty.

[Charlie]

Here's the mail that never fails. Yes, I did get someone for jury duty, ladies and gentlemen. So I got. All right, so I got summoned and then I says, I can't do it and I gotta move it because I forgot what was happening. But it. I was able to move it. I was able to request to have it moved and they accepted the request.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Charlie]

So then they moved it and then it was. I think you guys were in town that week, right?

[Miles]

Yeah, I remember we were trying to schedule around your jury duty. It was a nightmare.

[Charlie]

Yeah, well, I shouldn't have rescheduled the first jury duty because that was the problem. But I didn't know you guys were coming at that point. So anyways, it was. I didn't even have to go. So they said, she call in the number. And I called in at 6 o'clock. They're very precise. You have to call in at 5 o'clock the night before to figure out if you're supposed to show up the next morning. And then you have to show up, call at noon the next day to see if you have to come in in the afternoon. So for three days I had to call in twice a day. And I really hope that on the last day I wasn't requested to come in because I forgot to call on that day. So, Russell, actually, what does happen if you miss jury duty?

[Russell]

Yeah, I mean, they can issue a warrant for you. I mean, I think the judges are pretty good about it. I think the bigger things if, like, someone showed up and for part of the jury, you know, like the first day of the trial and then didn't come back. But, I mean, there can be some punitive consequences. I do think the judges are pretty at least in Wisconsin, throughout the Midwest, but Wisconsin for sure. I've seen they're pretty lenient about people because they assume there's like a good reason why rather than just jumping the gun and thinking that you're just trying to skip out. But I would definitely take it serious and this is the serious part for me as a lawyer. I think that the duty of a citizen to be on the jury is like one of the most important duties next to voting. So I'm a big fan of people going. And I just had a jury trial maybe two months ago and the judge there basically said that a lot of folks after they do jury duty, even though, you know it's inconvenient and whatnot, they often think of it as like a good experience that they learn from and they, they like now more understanding the system and being part of the system and have an impact on the community and people's life. So that's the, the official, like, serious part of being, you know, on a jury and being a citizen. But yeah, that's. It is an important thing. You should take it serious because there could be consequences. But I do think judges are pretty understanding because they know most fol folks have a lot going on that they're trying to balance when they're trying to work injury duty.

[Miles]

Everyone can find appreciate [e-mail] or at 1 855-nicolay thanks, Russell.

[Charlie]

Thank you, Russell.

[Miles]

Hi, is this Brad?

[Brad]

That's me.

[Miles]

Brad, this is Miles and Charlie from the Bellied up podcast. How are you doing?

[Brad]

Great. Thanks for the call. I appreciate it.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Where are you at right now?

[Brad]

I'm at the gym in Ohio. Just getting some gains in, you know, I'm headed towards not 50, but, you know, sort of my 30s still and I gotta get gains.

[Miles]

Yeah. Gotta try and stay young somehow. You and Charlie are basically the same age.

[Charlie]

I'm 37. How old are you, Brad?

[Brad]

Literally just turned 40 in a couple hours.

[Charlie]

Wait, in a couple of hours?

[Brad]

Well, theoretically in a couple hours. I may or may not be 40, but I'm not 40 yet.

[Charlie]

Is it your freaking birthday, dude?

[Brad]

It is.

[Charlie]

Look at the birthday on Brad. All right, nice, man.

[Brad]

Words are catching up with me. I did the, the whole Iraq and Afghanistan incident and all of my joints are just creaking and cranking, so I'm not really sure if I'm going out tonight or not, but I may end up going out to like a college town, you know, do my, my thing.

[Charlie]

Wow.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Charlie]

Well, hey, thanks for your service. Obviously it's taking a toll on your body. So sorry about that. But you're out there still getting gacked either way. Is that what we call gack?

[Brad]

Oh, yeah. Jacked.

[Miles]

Jack.

[Brad]

Gotta, gotta get it.

[Charlie]

Jacked is cocaine. Sorry about that.

[Brad]

Oh, God.

[Charlie]

My bad, my bad. Sorry, Brad. That's my bad.

[Miles]

Well, Brad, I. The intel that I got was that you are a 39 year old freshman in college. I won't say 40. You are a 30 year, 39 year old freshman in college. What's going on with that?

[Brad]

This is a total disaster. So I think I've done like 10 years of my undergrad a bunch of times and went back and forth and now I'm going back in a big college town in Ohio. Dating is something else. I tell you what, it is strange and it's whiplash. So one week you go on a date with like a professor, you know, she's 30 something, whatever, you know, and then the next time you go on a date with someone who's like 18, and then you realize, wow, they were like in middle school when you were doing some sort of job.

[Charlie]

Brad.

[Brad]

It's a total disaster.

[Miles]

Brad, Brad, you got so many game, dude. You're taking professors and 18 year olds out on dates.

[Brad]

I mean, I'm just, you know, I'm just doing my thing. And it's not like I planned it, you know, but I'm around the people, right? I'm trying to do my thing. Then the problem is, is like the whip box. So then it's like the bitterness factor, right? How much bitterness do you really want? Right? So are you willing to go over like the, you know, the masters of nursing realm? You know, she's, she's doing 16 hour days and you know, it's got three kids, that whole vibe, you know.

[Charlie]

This is like Van Wilder kinda like, like. So, so you're, you're at. Are you in Columbus?

[Brad]

No, no, up north. I won't say the exact town, but up north.

[Miles]

He doesn't want to get a wraparound.

[Brad]

Guy, you know, towards Cleveland in that direction.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Brad]

Towards Toledo. Not west.

[Charlie]

Worcester.

[Brad]

Cleveland though.

[Charlie]

You're in Worcester.

[Brad]

No, that's a small, that's a small town. No, no, no, but it's a larger college town. The college town is the town, so.

[Charlie]

Well, we've eliminated Toledo. Cincinnati's down south.

[Brad]

It's not Akron either.

[Charlie]

Van Wort.

[Miles]

No, it doesn't matter, Charlie.

[Charlie]

It doesn't matter. For the purposes, it doesn't matter.

[Brad]

It's Kent State.

[Charlie]

It is Kent State. Soldiers and Nixon's Gunman. All right, so listen.

[Brad]

How do you know that?

[Charlie]

How do I.

[Brad]

How do you know that song?

[Charlie]

We're finally on our own this summer Gonna hear the drumming for Dead in Ohio Gotta get down to it Soldiers are coming us down cuz Brad, I'm as old as you. So listen. So you're dating all around, dude. I mean, is it just. Is it. Are. Were you, like, in a relation? Were you married?

[Miles]

No.

[Brad]

No. I was almost married. When I was in Iraq, I was a dummy and I broke up with the person I went back to, you know, war or whatnot. But when I came back at a bunch of surgeries, a bunch of different stuff. So I'm just getting back on the horse. And it's just wild swings, right? It's freshmen and then, like, not older women, but, you know, in their 30s or so, 40s. And I'm realizing, what am I supposed to do here? What is the advice that you guys have for me and date?

[Charlie]

Well, my advice is stop dating freshmen.

[Miles]

Okay? Like, you can talk.

[Charlie]

What are you talking about? I'm not dating a freshman, bro. What? Randa is. She is. She is 25 years. 25 years old.

[Miles]

And you are 37 years old.

[Charlie]

I'm 37. I mean, you know, it's a. It's.

[Miles]

I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just saying to be throwing stones at him for dating a freshman seems like a little bit of a glass house situation.

[Charlie]

My house and glass. I mean, it's very thin cardboard, but it's not glass. Yeah. Right Now, So what advice would you get them?

[Miles]

Give them for dating younger women like that?

[Charlie]

Well, I would. I would.

[Miles]

Listen, you gotta, like, tone back the references of that song and stuff like that, right? Because they don't know it.

[Charlie]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, referencing stuff. I mean, it's a whole new world there. But I would say let's. You got to be realistic. 18, no go. 19 no go. 20, no go. 21, no go. 22, no go. I would stick to 12 years. 12 years. What's the rule?

[Miles]

It's divide your age by 2 and add 7.

[Charlie]

Divide your age by 2 and add 7.

[Miles]

So 40 divided by 2 plus 7.

[Charlie]

27 year olds.

[Miles]

27 year olds.

[Charlie]

Aim for 27.

[Brad]

Awful.

[Charlie]

Why?

[Brad]

Oh, it sounds so terrible.

[Charlie]

Well, are you commitment phobic right now? Because that.

[Brad]

Okay, so change your mindset. Okay, Right. So you meet some lovely gal, right? You're at a Denny's, right? Something that's open, right? And you're there early in the morning, but she just Got off her shift working in the nicu, right. And there's like a smudge of blood somewhere around. Just didn't catch it.

[John]

Right.

[Brad]

And the stories that you're gonna get talking to is about the three baby daddies, the four kids that are at home, and then she's gotta pull three more doubles and then you have to put up with all the drama and all the stuff.

[Miles]

So you're saying 27, that sounds like.

[Charlie]

One 27 year old you dated. They're not all the same.

[Brad]

And nurses are just, they're like hairstylists, you know, they're same church, different pew.

[Miles]

Yeah, no, you're right, you're right. Well, you know that you don't have to date nurses or hairstylists or professors.

[Brad]

Well, that's the only thing that's here. I mean, now I do have the hot sport of the athletic trainers here at the gym. She's like six five and I'm in a tall gal and she's like six five and like a, like a power lifter. It's totally my vibe. But it was never the right time. It was training. I don't want to be the creepy guy just like making out, you know, trying to hook up with the, the trainer while she's like mid train, you know.

[Miles]

You're hooking up with her mid train. How much game do you think you have?

[Charlie]

It starts with that.

[Miles]

Hey, let's go over here and do this. Hit machine.

[Charlie]

Don't you think?

[Brad]

Baby?

[Miles]

That's not, that's not what we would think you would do at all.

[Brad]

That was a slip. That was a Freudian slip.

[Charlie]

Is your mom six five? How's that a Freudian slip? Listen, Brad. Brad. Oh man. Okay, so listen, what are you looking for? Are you looking to settle down or just what do you want?

[Brad]

I'm trying to have a bunch of kids, you know, trying to do the whole, the whole thing. Do the Ohio thing, right? Get a compound, have a bunch of kids. May or may not have a boating accident with tools that may fall in, you know, have the whole thing, you know, and maybe like do bow hunting or something and like go after deer.

[Charlie]

I guess that's, that's not bad wife right there. So you're trying to sell down. You're not going to sell down with an 18 year old, Brad. I mean, for. What are you even thinking?

[Brad]

All right, so I go to a laundromat that has a bar at the laundry. And whenever I, you know, do my laundry, there's like a lovely gal that I meet that Just happens to be there, and we struck up a conversation. It goes really good. And we go on some dates, and then I realized, oh, wow, I may or may not have dated her mom. And then I realized that her font is like 39, 40 something years old. And I may have took her mom out on a date, so there's that too.

[Charlie]

That happened. Good Lord.

[Brad]

I don't. She was 18 and a half. If you had her, like 17. So, like, it just. My mom was 17, she had me, so she's pretty young.

[Charlie]

Who is 17, Brad?

[Brad]

My mom.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Miles]

Okay, Got it.

[Charlie]

God.

[Miles]

So there's a lot to unpack. There's a lot going on. Brad, what's. Why. Why?

[Brad]

Veteran freshman. Yeah, you know.

[Charlie]

Okay. Okay, Brad. So you want to settle down with someone? You. You. You just. You. Are you on the dating apps or you just meet people at the laundromat?

[Brad]

It's so true. I'm not an apps kind of guy. I'm on, but it's bruh.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Brad]

Ladies I meet on there are just not quality.

[Charlie]

So he's just out there in the wild and. Okay, my first advice is date. Try dating one other 27 year old.

[Brad]

And not a hairstyle.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Also, I feel like you should know pretty early on if she's 18 years old. Do you know what I mean? Like the difference between an 18 year old and a 27 year old. You shouldn't like, get four dates in and be like, wow, yeah, she's really young. Feel like that. You just don't have to go on a date with her if you find out she's 18 years old.

[Charlie]

For sure. Avoiding asking that question.

[Miles]

I know.

[Charlie]

Although you really should. You gotta ask that question, dude. You gotta ask that question.

[John]

College.

[Brad]

I don't have to ask the question. No, no. During college I have to ask.

[Charlie]

There are some really smart people in college, which means they skipped a few grades. So I would be asked. I would be looking for IDs. Brad.

[Brad]

Is this what Charlie did? Charlie? In advance?

[Charlie]

No, I. I dated one gal who happened to be younger.

[Miles]

He doesn't check IDs. He just does background checks. It's fine. It's way different.

[Brad]

Oh, my Investigator Charlie.

[Charlie]

I dated one gal who happened to be younger and it stuck. All right, so, okay, yeah.

[Brad]

Now, you said Rhonda's in her 20s or so, right?

[Charlie]

Rhonda's 25.

[Miles]

25, okay.

[Brad]

That's approved.

[Charlie]

That's approved? Yeah. It's in the mix if it is. Oh, is it?

[Brad]

Are you guys planning to get married this early?

[Charlie]

25 and a half. Boom. Got it. She's 25 and a half right now. Don't ask when my birthday is. Anyway. Brad, are you planning to get married?

[Brad]

Charlie?

[Charlie]

Well, we. You know what? Here's the deal, Brad. That's usually my line of questioning for people, and I don't appreciate it when it's reversed on me. Okay? So this is my show, so I'm gonna be asking.

[Brad]

We're talking about, like, creating something new and, you know, flourishing and that, you.

[Miles]

Know, Brad, I don't even think you called in for advice. I think you just like to see the world burn. Yeah.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

He's our joker to our Batman. He just wants to see the world burn. He's gonna keep dating girls with red flags left and right, and he's gonna come on podcast and about it, but secretly that's what he gets off to.

[Charlie]

He loves it. Yeah.

[Brad]

He's calling in the brain Opposite, though. So I spent some time in the Balkans and it was a blast. So I did Serbia and Macedonia, and it was a ton of fun for dating because they have these, like, huge nightclubs and different stuff that's all in one, you know, kind of area in one city. And the college is in the city and everybody else is just there all together. So everybody works all over Europe. When you get to all the bars and stuff and you meet people, they're on their break times. You just get to have a bunch of fun and meet a bunch of people and just go party throughout the whole city. I spent about six or seven months out there and I loved it. Cannot wait to go back to the Balkans. It was honestly the best place I've ever had for dating because you meet just tremendous people that are working at cool places in, like, UK and different stuff. And it was a lot more stable, to be honest.

[Miles]

It's like a. You know, moving back to Kent State is like a postcard from Paris. When he see the real thing, Charlie, that's. I think the root of this problem is you got just two highest standards. You gotta lower those suckers.

[Brad]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

You're in Ohio now.

[Miles]

You're going to Kent State, dude, you gotta lower those standards. Secondly, is this when you were in the military overseas, you were there?

[Brad]

Oh, no, I just went there last year. One and were nice.

[Miles]

You know, deployment doesn't sound so bad if you're just going to clubs all the time.

[Charlie]

What do you. What do you do?

[Brad]

I'm going to college. I was doing. I was doing online college stuff for my masters.

[Miles]

Nice.

[Brad]

And I have some masters Seminary credits or whatever. And I was doing that to learn about the old obligen sort of stuff and the history of it. And so Serbia is the best place to do it because you get this old school history and whatnot. Plus all the ladies are 6 foot 2, which is a lot of fun.

[Charlie]

You're into tall chicks.

[Miles]

We get that bunch of yokages over there.

[Brad]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Brad, what do you mean you were getting your masters? I thought you were a freshman.

[Brad]

Well, yeah, yeah. I haven't completed my undergrad, but I've done some seminary credits to learn about religious history and it is a blast.

[Miles]

So what is your major?

[Brad]

I'm doing both medicine and like, religious stuff. So eventually I'll be like a fake doctor. I'll have my like doctor of Health Sciences, A dhsc.

[Charlie]

So you'll be a chiropractor or some dentist?

[Brad]

No, it's just. It's a. It's a terminal doctorate for healthcare. So. But the goal is to do like chaplaincy sort of stuff and then like religious sort of things along with medicine sort of stuff.

[Miles]

So you're basically a pastor as well.

[Brad]

Maybe in the future it's not gonna.

[Miles]

Go well at whatever denomination and church you go to if you're trying to sleep with all the 18 year olds going to church.

[Brad]

I'm not a flipping around kind of guy. I'm a dating relationship.

[Charlie]

Oh, so you're not. You're not.

[Miles]

He's celibate.

[Charlie]

You're celibate?

[Brad]

Well, you know, somewhat.

[Miles]

You know, how many days somewhat? You're just doing hand stuff or what?

[Brad]

I'm a good guy, you know, I'm.

[Miles]

Good, you know, so you're just doing hands, like over the pants type of behavior.

[Brad]

You're doing over like a sweet beard. You'll be able to have like 10 kids.

[Miles]

So you're. You're doing over the pants stuff.

[Brad]

Orthodoxy.

[Charlie]

Not.

[Brad]

Not over the pants. Orthodox. Like Russian Orthodox.

[Charlie]

So is that.

[Brad]

That's not a hand move. That's. That's a denomination.

[Miles]

Yeah. Urban dictionary. That. Okay. Wow. So. So he's not even. He's not even doing any bullshit.

[Brad]

I'm not sleeping around. No, I'm not. I'm not a one night stand kind of guy. I'm going on dates. Dates.

[Charlie]

How many dates are nice? How many. How many looks does it take to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Brad?

[Brad]

About three dates. You know, I'm a three dates kind of guy so far. But they don't really want serious relationships in these zoomer girls. So it's a little bit confusing.

[Miles]

So. What? I'm so lost.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You.

[Charlie]

You don't think an 18 year old wants a serious relationship, Brad.

[Brad]

None of them do now. It's the zoomers are just Brad stuff, to be honest. And then millennial chicks are spitter, so they gotta find me a Gen X girl. Find me a Gen X lady.

[Miles]

Yeah, like closer to your age. Yeah, do that.

[Brad]

Do the 12 plus, whatever the opposite way. Find me a grandma.

[Miles]

Yeah, nice. A nice guil. Well, I guess there's no f at the end. It's like a. A guilt. Just a grandma I'd like to touch. Not. Not necessarily. Not over the pants.

[Brad]

Russian Orthodox. So now with the older ladies, what am I supposed to do if I go the opposite direction? So if I go like 40s, 50s, like, what do I do there?

[Charlie]

I got no experience on that one.

[Brad]

You've been together with your wife for what, like 10 years or something like that? You were like in your, like, early 20s when you got together.

[Miles]

No, it was. We've been together now seven years, so I was. I was 26, 27. Ish.

[Charlie]

It's a good age.

[Miles]

No, maybe I was earlier. Maybe it was 25. I'm almost 32, so.

[Charlie]

God, you're getting old.

[Miles]

25? Yeah. Yeah.

[Brad]

You're still that young?

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. 32 years old, baby.

[Brad]

You're a young guy now.

[Miles]

I'm. I might still have a shot at 18 year olds, Charlie, if you do the math.

[Charlie]

Well, do the math.

[Miles]

Let's see.

[Charlie]

Do the math.

[Brad]

When you ask me, like, how to do the division, by the way, my brain was just like, I have no idea how to do it.

[Miles]

23. Yeah. I mean, I think you got that working against you. The fact that you. You're. You're only doing hand stuff. I think that that doesn't help with the 18 year olds, you know, so.

[Brad]

It also throws them off when I literally am old enough to be.

[Miles]

Yeah, but there's a lot, A lot of people that are into that, I think. I don't know. Well, Charlie, you had any last words for. For. For him on what he should be doing?

[Charlie]

I go back to the Balkans.

[Brad]

Go back to the Balkans.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Seems like you were happiest there. I don't know that you're gonna find what you're looking for at the Denny's and Laundromats of Ohio, but you can.

[Brad]

Keep trying far inside of it, and you can meet some nice ladies.

[Charlie]

Are all the. Are all the Washington dishwasher or washing machines, are they all working?

[Brad]

Oh, it's great. Yeah, it's always functioning and whatnot. And I usually go around do it like the fancy copy books since I'm into specialty coffee. It's my. It's my one bite.

[Charlie]

Do you have a job?

[Brad]

No, I'm just a professional student.

[Miles]

How much? Student loan. I suppose you were military? Yeah. God damn, dude.

[Charlie]

He's. He's doing it.

[Miles]

He's maybe doing it right.

[Brad]

Yeah, he's rolling in dough. Yeah, all that. That's veteran funny. Hell yeah. No, I'm actually not a real veteran, so that's a whole story that's there. I did the whole, like, federal employee thing.

[Charlie]

What the. Brad, I just said thank you for your service.

[Brad]

Okay.

[Miles]

Absolute stolen valor.

[Charlie]

You fought? What do you mean? You. You're not a veteran, but you fought in the war?

[Brad]

Well, yeah, I mean, I've been in combat. I just never. I'm not a veteran, so this is why. I don't really know how to, like, respond to that sometimes.

[Charlie]

Are you still like.

[Brad]

Oh, yeah, I did Iraq and Afghanistan, the whole thing, but I'm not actually like a real veteran.

[Charlie]

Why?

[Brad]

Because you have to be in the military to be a veteran.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Brad]

So unless you talk about like, veteran podcasters or like veteran CIA agent Charlie, who's an investigator. Unless you're into that, right? Not like a real better.

[Charlie]

Okay.

[Miles]

So you're getting school paid for, though?

[Brad]

No, not at all. I. Regular student loans like everybody else. Just racking it up.

[Charlie]

Not. I want to back up. Are you a mercenary? Are you a hired gun?

[Brad]

I was a mercenary. I actually worked for the UK government once, so I literally am. I was a mercenary.

[Charlie]

There it is. We're talking to frickin James Bondish over here. So did you work with. I think he's lying or what?

[Miles]

He's fucking lying.

[Charlie]

Blackwater, even Blackwater. I didn't.

[Brad]

Yeah, they were long gone when I got there, so. But I got to do the whole. The cool guy fun stuff where you sit in an office for 12 hours and monitor logistics.

[Charlie]

So you went out there, you were in combat?

[Brad]

Yeah. Been shot at? Shot back. Once.

[Miles]

He got shot at. He shot back once.

[Charlie]

Once. Do you get hit at all?

[Brad]

No, but I got hit by some waters. That was fun. Got some, you know, some keepsakes in my spine.

[Miles]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I get what it's. It's. Yeah. I don't know what to call you either. If you're not a veteran, I don't know what you are.

[Brad]

It's strange. And I honestly never know how to respond to it.

[Charlie]

It's wild, but it's a fun story.

[Brad]

For some ladies when they want to hear, like, really boring war stories that literally nothing happened.

[Miles]

All right, just so when we. So we can end this call. So I have a little bit of clarity. Let's start back at the beginning. You graduate high school. Give us the short, abridged version of how we got to where we are now and what you actually did for a job overseas.

[Brad]

Ooh, that is a good question. One that I have to put some smoke and mirrors around. So I got out of high school. I grew up in Hawaii, which was a lot of fun. We didn't actually go to high school at all. We just went to the beach every day. I immediately go to Ohio in the middle of fields in nowhere. We're closer to Canada than we are anywhere else. So then I realized this is crap. And all my friends removed to Kent to go to Kent. And fast Forward towards, like, 2008. Just total crash of the economy, right? So I was working bars, Chipotle, the whole thing. And they're like, oh, hey, you want to serve your country, be a dirt bag and go to Iraq? Oh, yeah, sure. I'll do that for no money. And we go to Iraq, and immediately we're getting bombed.

[Charlie]

Who asked you that? Time out. Who asked you? Who said, do you want to go to Iraq and do this?

[Brad]

Oh, recruiters. Oh, yeah, yeah, the army recruiters.

[Charlie]

Okay. So you're in the army now?

[Brad]

Nope, nope, nope, nope. Everything stopped. It was stopped. So there's a bunch of companies that hired people. So we all get hired by these companies and go deploy. There's a bunch of contractors, actually 11 contractors per month. There's more contractors than our soldiers at the time. So we all get deployed and do that.

[Miles]

So you just work in construction over there.

[Brad]

You know, it shouldn't. People and moving, you know, materials and stuff like that. You have to have water, you have to have equipment and stuff like that. If you play one place to the next, right? And so International Engines was one company I had to work for. You see all their semi trucks, all the International Engine people got to work with them and fast forward into Pentagon stuff and some policy, you know, got to write some things. President signed, kind of cool. And then surgeries for four years and physical therapy and then now going back to school.

[Miles]

So you were doing some classified shit over there. That's why you can't talk about it or what?

[Brad]

Well, if I did, I'd have to go. And all the listeners.

[Charlie]

That's a lot of people so do they. Do they hire the contractors so they can, like, avoid saying, like, we're sending troops over there?

[Brad]

Oh, yeah. There was like, 5 million people or something like that, you know, and with the UK people, too, and everybody else in Europe, it's like 7 million people. We only had them on paper. 1 million. Solar. There was millions of people.

[Charlie]

Holy wow.

[Miles]

We're uncovering government secrets here on this episode.

[Brad]

Civil service guys, which aren't included in those numbers. Right. So you have like, a civil service guy who's a State Department person or a military police guy who's a cop technically, and he's not a soldier, but you send him there into war and he's technically a soldier, but he's not counted as a soldier.

[Charlie]

Right.

[Brad]

So a bunch of people like this are all retirees and stuff. Like, two who. You saw this bulk of people that you need to have fight a war for you, that have skills, but they can't join the military because they're 58 years old. So you just put them as a contractor and you're good to go.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Charlie]

Wow.

[Miles]

Didn't know that.

[Charlie]

That's wild.

[Miles]

So then I'm just glad I'm not doing it anymore.

[Charlie]

Well, how do. How do veterans or people who served in the war, how do they, like, view you guys?

[Brad]

Oh, I mean, everybody's done it at this point. You know, at the first part, there was, like, a lot of drama with it, but, I mean, now nobody really cares. There's also no memorials to all those people who died either. So there's that.

[Charlie]

That's wild, man.

[Miles]

That's crazy.

[Charlie]

That's wild. That's just a way for the politicians to say, oh, we don't have boots on the ground over there. Do you get paid good?

[Brad]

Oh, you think you do at the time. So you're making 60, 80K, you know, in 2008, 2010. Right. That's a good money, supposedly. But then you realize, well, there's no health care, there's no nothing.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Brad]

So you have to figure out how to pay your own stuff. Yeah. Quickly catches up with you when you have to get, like, four surgeries.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, so I gotta find a gal.

[Brad]

Who'S willing to put up with the fact she has to take me to, you know, a medical appointment, you know, some. Some deep tissue massage.

[Miles]

That's why you went with the nurse right away. That makes over the pants Russian or. Oh, all right, man. Well, we appreciate you calling in and happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thanks for calling.

[Brad]

I really do appreciate it. I didn't honestly realize it was my birthday the same day we had the call, so. I'm really glad this worked out. Yeah, I'm excited to see you guys in concert sometime and actually see Miles in concert, too.

[Charlie]

Yeah, we were just talking about that. We'll. We'll have to announce those dates, and we'd love to see you, man.

[Brad]

That'd be incredible. Thank you guys so much.

[Charlie]

Take care, man. Thank you. Wow, dude, we learned so much on this podcast.

[Miles]

I. That was a whirlwind, you know?

[Charlie]

You know, that's why you keep asking questions. First. First rule in journalism. Just keep asking questions and be silent. That guy, when you're silent, he talks. Boy, does he say some stuff.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, you gotta. I'm glad that we had him lay out everything that happened there at the end. Yeah. Well. All right, Charlie, we got another voicemail here from Devin. So let's hear what Devin has to say.

[Brad]

Hey, this is Devin Sansca, 22 years old, out of South Dakota. Say, I was just wondering. My girlfriend say we when we go out to the bar together. You know, I can be walking up to the bar just fine. Turn around, boom, she's gone. So I was just wondering, what is your guys's suggestions on a drunk runner? Give me a call back when you can. Thank you much.

[Charlie]

A drunk runner, you know, a guy.

[Miles]

Like that, you show up to a bar and it's like, where is Tyler?

[Charlie]

He's gone.

[Miles]

He's gone.

[Charlie]

Just gone. Like, is it. I kind of want to. I feel like we should call him, honestly. Because the question is, did she leave the bar or did she just go find another group? Maybe this relationship ain't gonna last a while.

[Miles]

I. Yeah, I don't take it as that. She's trying to get away from him. I think it's just when she gets at a scenario, she starts drinking some booze. She's a nomad.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Some people just. I guess. Do they. Do they wander? They're wanderers. I remember this one time, I was with my buddies in this bar in Fort Lauderdale or some other kind of place in Florida, and one buddy, he. I was talking to one buddy. Meanwhile, this other guy that was there, he got punched. And then the runner in our friend group, the guy who just kind of always disappears. I just see him racing out the bar after this guy. I'm like, what is he doing? He crosses the street. He jumps at this guy and just lands straight on his chest. And he just completely missed him. It was wild.

[Miles]

I just ducked and he flew over like a quarterback And a sports movie.

[Charlie]

No, the guy was running away from him, but at one point he was like sliding home to try and tackle him and it just didn't work out. So. Yeah, you got to get. I would say you get a leash. That might be frowned upon, actually, depending on the state.

[Miles]

You're not in Alabama. This guy should put a leash on his girlfriend at the bar.

[Charlie]

Well, yeah, I mean, like, you know, when you see your kids at Disneyland, you see people with their kids at Disneyland.

[Miles]

Leash kid?

[Charlie]

Yeah, the leash kid. Yeah. I mean, you know, if it's, if it's for her own safety. Now a lot of people will frown upon that and there's going to be a lot of issues with it. So.

[Miles]

My brother in law was a leash kid.

[Charlie]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah. And what's great about it is he says it was the best.

[Charlie]

Why?

[Miles]

Because he said he just could just run around and if he knew he was doing something he shouldn't, he just gets yanked back.

[Charlie]

Wow.

[Miles]

You know, that's.

[Charlie]

I haven't. Are these kids still a thing or have people like, frowned upon that?

[Miles]

There was definitely a period of time where leashes for kids were very popular.

[Charlie]

It was a deal. Sometimes you see a kid out in the wild though, and you're like, hey, get that thing on a leash, you know?

[Miles]

Yeah. Maybe there should be more leash kids.

[Charlie]

Yeah, Yeah. I never had a leash growing up.

[Miles]

I mean, your parents would have looked like they were. Had a dog walking. All their kids were on leashes.

[Charlie]

My dad, my dad would do this whistle. And when you heard that whistle, that was like the soft launch of get over here.

[Miles]

Yeah. Kind of like blowing a horn and assembling the news team.

[Charlie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Miles]

You're not a drunk runner, I don't think, Charlie, are you? No, because there's a. There's a fine line between being a drunk runner and an Irish good buyer.

[Charlie]

Yeah, I'd be. I'd Irish goodbye. More than anything else. I'd just be. I. I just tap out. I get to some points, I don't. I don't drink as much as I used to, Miles. And sometimes it gets to be too much for me. I pull the parachute, you know, you've seen it. You've seen my little pumpkin come late at night. What I mean by that, what is Cinderella or you know, her carriage turns into a pumpkin. But now thinking back on how I just said that, that sounded sexual in nature. And that's not what I was going for here, folks.

[Miles]

I don't know if that was a new hip term. They were using.

[Charlie]

No.

[Miles]

Pumpkin come.

[Charlie]

No. You see my little pumpkin. Yeah. Well, let's edit that out.

[Miles]

No, we're keeping that.

[Charlie]

All right. Board is bored.

[Brad]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All right.

[Charlie]

Miles has been another great episode here with you on the bellied up, folks. Make sure you tip your bartenders, all right? You said tell them you love them.

[Miles]

I love you guys.