Bellied Up Podcast - Episode: "What Makes or Breaks a Bar" (#141)
Release Date: February 27, 2025
Hosts: You Betcha Guy (Myles) & Charlie Berens
Location: Old Town Tavern, Appleton, Wisconsin

1. Introduction: A Spilled Start

The episode kicks off with a classic, lighthearted mishap as hosts Myles and Charlie find themselves dealing with spilled hot coffee at the Old Town Tavern.

• [00:42] Miles: "Hot coffee on my..."
• [00:46] Charlie: "That's all over you. Oh, man, is that wet?"

Their playful banter and quick apology set a humorous tone, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and ability to turn mishaps into comedy gold.

2. Main Discussion: What Makes or Breaks a Bar

The core of the episode revolves around advice for aspiring bar owners, sparked by caller Bryce from Georgia, who seeks insights on opening a bar with his wife.

Key Components for a Successful Bar:

• Beer Claw Machine:
  [10:38] Miles: "You guys have beer claw machines in Georgia?"
  [10:59] Charlie: "Bryce, number one, get yourself a beer claw machine."

  The hosts advocate for interactive elements like beer claw machines to enhance customer engagement, albeit with a humorous caution about potential spills.

• Lighting:
  [13:16] Miles: "If a bar is too well lit, it's gonna feel like a cafeteria..."
  [13:38] Charlie: "You want to be looking at the deer head and thinking it's a hot girl over there..."

  Proper lighting is essential to create the right ambiance, avoiding overly bright settings that can make the space feel uninviting.

• Decor and Atmosphere:
  [12:16] Bryce: "I love taking pictures of deer heads, bobcats..."
  [16:44] Charlie: "You need neon bar signs... old ham signs."

  The hosts emphasize the importance of thematic and nostalgic decor, such as taxidermy and vintage neon signs, to establish a unique and memorable environment.

• Food Options:
  [21:03] Charlie: "You need a stack of frozen pizzas... pickled eggs is pretty standard."
  [21:13] Miles: "Just being like, you know, the kitchen's down today, we're understaffed..."

  Simplified yet appealing food offerings can complement the bar experience without overcomplicating operations.

Bar Naming Brainstorm:

The discussion takes a creative turn as Bryce and the hosts brainstorm names for the new bar.

• Original Idea:
  [24:36] Bryce: "We named it The Perfect Pour."
  [25:16] Charlie: "Honestly, I think you might need another name."

• Alternative Suggestion:
  [27:03] Miles: "The Rough House."
  [27:35] Charlie: "I like the Rough House."

  "The Rough House" resonates better with the intended atmosphere, avoiding unintended connotations and aligning with the bar's rugged, community-focused vibe.

3. Legal Insight: Understanding Courtroom Objections

Lawyer Russell Nicolay joins the conversation to demystify the use of "objection" in legal settings.

• [36:04] Russell: "You see objections in depositions more than in actual courtrooms."
• [38:25] Miles: "It’s a double-edged sword. You can use it to your advantage..."

Russell explains that while objections are common in depositions, their theatrical portrayal on TV often exaggerates their frequency and intensity in real court proceedings.

4. Relationships Advice: Balancing Decision-Making in Marriage

Caller Cassandra seeks guidance on marital issues related to planning and decision-making dynamics in her relationship.

Challenges Discussed:

• Unequal Planning Responsibilities:
  [40:02] Cassandra: "I just want him to make the decisions and tell me what to do."
  [43:08] Miles: "You want him to change a couple more diapers. You want to go on a spa day."

• Leveraging Needs:
  [47:03] Charlie: "You have to pick a city, and if you want the dog people..."
  [48:04] Miles: "You need to win this because this is a competition."

The hosts humorously dissect Cassandra's predicament, advising her to assertively leverage aspects of the relationship (like the problematic truck) to negotiate more equitable decision-making and planning efforts.

5. Humor Segment: Belly Button Lint Chronicles

The episode concludes with a humorous voicemail from Justin, who brings up the topic of belly button lint, sparking a comedic exchange about personal hygiene and quirky body trivia.

• [59:35] Justin: "Getting a little bit too much lit... In your belly button."
• [60:17] Charlie: "You have a puma on yours, Miles."
• [60:25] Miles: "It's like a street sweeper... shovels it right in there."

This segment highlights the hosts' ability to transform mundane topics into laugh-out-loud moments, reinforcing the podcast's comedic essence.

6. Conclusion: Wrapping Up with Laughter

As the episode wraps up, Myles and Charlie reflect on the day's conversations, maintain their comedic rapport, and leave listeners with chuckles about belly button maintenance and the importance of tipping bartenders.

• [66:15] Miles: "Thanks for tuning in. See you next one."
• [66:20] Charlie: "Tip your bartender."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Spilling Coffee:
  [00:46] Charlie: "That's all over you. Oh, man, is that wet?"

• Bar Decor Insight:
  [13:38] Charlie: "You want to be looking at the deer head and thinking it's a hot girl over there."

• Legal Clarification:
  [36:04] Russell: "You see objections in depositions more than in actual courtrooms."

• Relationship Leverage:
  [47:45] Miles: "This is about leverage. Marriage is all about keeping score and having leverage over the other person."

• Humorous Belly Button Lint:
  [60:19] Miles: "You just get to a certain age, you got enough hair on your... it just, the lint goes in and it can't get out."

Summary:
In this episode of "Bellied Up," hosts Myles and Charlie Berens delve into what makes or breaks a bar, offering practical advice infused with their signature humor. They explore essential elements like interactive features, ambiance, and food offerings, illustrated through a caller's aspiration to open a community-centric bar. Legal insights from a lawyer guest add depth, while relationship advice for a listener highlights interpersonal dynamics humorously. The episode closes on a light note with comedic banter about belly button lint, cementing the podcast's blend of helpful discussions and laugh-out-loud moments.