What YOU Should KNOW About The Amish #137

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast Episode: "What YOU Should KNOW About The Amish #137"

Release Date: January 30, 2025
Hosts: Charlie Barrons & Miles (the You Betcha Guy)
Podcast Description: Belly up to the bar with Emmy-winning comedian, Charlie Berens, and Myles the You Betcha Guy. This unique comedy show welcomes live callers from the Midwest and beyond every Thursday, offering a spot at the bar for problem-solving or selling items.

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1. Introduction and Host Banter (00:00 - 02:18)

The episode kicks off with the classic comedic chemistry between hosts Charlie Barrons and Miles. Their playful exchanges set a light-hearted tone, filled with inside jokes and friendly teasing.

• Charlie: "I'm going to always be your friend until the day you die. I might kill you, but we'll be friends." (00:27)
• Miles: "And Charlie, that's not helping everyone thinking you look like Dahmer." (01:18)

This segment establishes their camaraderie and prepares listeners for the humorous journey ahead.

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2. Parody Segment: Ice Fishing Post Game Interviews (02:18 - 12:20)

Charlie and Miles dive into a mock post-game interview, parodying typical sports interviews but with a twist centered around ice fishing.

• Charlie: "We met the cheese cutter." (02:33)
• Miles as Coach Aaron Rodgers:
  • "Can we start the show now? You got those out of your system?" (05:10)
  • "We lost two cell phones in the ice fishing hole. Are there any regrets about that?" (06:07)

This humorous skit exaggerates the dynamics of team sports applied to ice fishing, highlighting the hosts' knack for satire and improvisation.

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3. Caller Segment: Dealing with In-Laws Next Door (12:44 - 26:10)

The hosts welcome Jared from Kansas City, Missouri, who presents a relatable yet comedic dilemma: his in-laws have moved across the street.

• Jared:
  • "We bought this house, of course, he helped us buy it... and then they built their dream house right across the street." (13:10)
  • "Our kids can just walk in the door sometimes or they'll do the classic like two knock and then just walk straight in anyway." (16:28)

Charlie and Miles offer a series of tongue-in-cheek strategies to set boundaries, such as:

• Charlie: "I think you guys start walking around naked a lot." (16:37)
• Miles: "Put a sock on the front door handle." (17:02)

These suggestions, while humorous, resonate with anyone navigating the challenges of close-knit neighborhoods.

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4. Caller Segment: Amish Experiences and Discussions (26:10 - 50:00)

Jay, a caller from central Ohio, shares his insights into Amish life, blending genuine information with the podcast's signature humor.

• Jay:
  • "They have pretty good morals... their worst part is driving those bicycles down the road at the frigid Ohio temperature." (33:50)
  • "Amish will start a roofing business... it's crazy." (37:08)

Key discussions include:

• Amish Technology Avoidance:

  • Jay: "The main policy behind it is it's too worldly... they detach themselves from this, you know, world, then that's their ticket." (32:13)

• Community and Family Dynamics:

  • Jay: "They're big on softball... these boys and girls can hit dingers." (34:37)

• Language and Culture:

  • Jay: Explains Pennsylvania Dutch and shares humorous attempts at the language, such as saying "watch out for deer" in Amish dialect. (35:40)

Notable Quotes:

• Charlie: "What's the best part about the Amish? What's the worst part?" (33:50)
• Jay: "Amish have four out of five cult requirements... they're missing the Kool-Aid part." (32:56)

This segment educates listeners about Amish culture while maintaining a comedic edge, making the information both entertaining and informative.

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5. Interactive Segment: Dungeons & Dragons Game with Jay (50:00 - 66:27)

In a departure from typical formats, Charlie, Miles, and Jay engage in a spontaneous Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) game, showcasing their improvisational skills and comedic timing.

• Characters Introduced:
  • Charlie: Castle Snowman, guardian of the castle.
  • Miles: King of the Castle, Sir Mars of Cheese.
  • Jay: Dungeon Master, narrating the storyline.

Notable Moments:

• Abrupt Gameplay:

  • Charlie: "What do you say, King? I see an RV dragon coming on." (62:11)
  • Miles: "I will have your hand for talking to me like that." (62:32)

• Humorous Obstacles:

  • Jay: "The dragon flies away, turning into a drone dragon. We must shoot at it." (63:02)

• Gameplay Breakdown:

  • Charlie and Miles struggle to maintain the flow, leading to humorous banter and abrupt ending of the game.
  • Miles: "I don't know if I want you in my DND group anymore." (65:35)

This segment highlights the hosts' versatility and ability to pivot seamlessly into different forms of entertainment, keeping the audience engaged through unpredictability and humor.

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6. Conclusion and Final Remarks (66:00 - End)

As the episode wraps up, Charlie and Miles reflect on the day's activities, reinforcing the show's theme of camaraderie and laughter.

• Charlie: "We get a kick out of that dynamic." (46:41)
• Miles: "Have a good one, buddy." (50:00)

Their closing remarks tie back to the initial themes of friendship and community, leaving listeners with a sense of warmth and anticipation for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Charlie Barrons: "I'm going to always be your friend until the day you die. I might kill you, but we'll be friends." (00:27)
• Miles: "And Charlie, that's not helping everyone thinking you look like Dahmer." (01:18)
• Jared: "We met the cheese cutter." (02:33)
• Miles as Coach: "We lost two cell phones in the ice fishing hole. Are there any regrets about that?" (06:07)
• Jay: "The best part is, generally speaking, they have pretty good morals... the worst part is, driving those bicycles down the road at the frigid Ohio temperature." (33:50)
• Charlie during D&D: "I see it. Do not call me peasant. I am the guard snowman." (62:18)

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Episode Highlights

• Creative Parodies: The hosts excel in crafting humorous skits that parody everyday scenarios, such as ice fishing interviews and fantasy games.

• Engaging Caller Interactions: Jared and Jay's segments provide relatable content infused with humor, addressing themes like managing in-law relationships and exploring Amish culture.

• Improvisational Comedy: The spontaneous D&D session showcases the hosts' quick wit and ability to entertain through unscripted moments.

• Educational Yet Entertaining: The discussion on Amish life balances informative content with the podcast's signature comedic flair, making learning enjoyable.

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Conclusion

Episode #137 of the Bellied Up podcast masterfully blends satire, storytelling, and interactive comedy. Through their dynamic interactions and clever humor, Charlie and Miles offer listeners both laughs and insights into unique topics like Amish culture and neighborhood dynamics. Whether through parody sketches or engaging caller stories, this episode embodies the essence of the Bellied Up podcast—bringing comedy and community together at the proverbial bar.

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Note: For more episodes and to join the conversation, follow Bellied Up on Instagram @bellieduppod.

Transcript

[Charlie Barrons]

Miles.

[Miles]

Yes, Charlie?

[Charlie Barrons]

You know what today is? It's another episode of the you bet your radio presents Bellied up podcast.

[Miles]

All right. Yeah, you bet your radio presents. I like that.

[Charlie Barrons]

Crepescast Radio presents. We'll start again. Hey, folks, welcome to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. I'm your host, Charlie Barrons, and this is my partner in crime. And my back hurts carrying up the hill every week, but Jesus cripes. Hey, folks, welcome to the Bellied up podcast. I'm your host, Charlie Barrons, and this is Miles, the you betcha guy. And you betcha he's looking sexy today. Sorry, ladies, fellas, he's married. Welcome to the Bellied up podcast. Here's my buddy, Miles. I'm his buddy Charles, and today we are gonna be buddy buddy with each other while we take your figure out what's going on, what's cooking. Folks, belly on up to the bar with us. I'm Charlie and this is Miles. And Miles, I'm gonna always be your friend until the day you die. I might kill you, but we'll be friends.

[Miles]

And Charlie, that's not helping everyone thinking you look like Dahmer. All right, come on with those glasses on.

[Charlie Barrons]

I got these glasses on sale.

[Miles]

Can we start the show now? You got those out of your system?

[Charlie Barrons]

Hey, everybody, welcome.

[Miles]

Welcome back to the Belly.

[Charlie Barrons]

Why are we starting? All these intros have been great, guys. Welcome to the Belly up podcast. I'm Charlie Barrons.

[Miles]

I am Miles.

[Charlie Barrons]

You bet you I am Miles. That your intros aren't good enough for me guy. Hi, Miles. Guys, we've done like seven of these. And Miles, I don't have all day, for God's sake.

[Miles]

Welcome back to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. I'm Charlie. Dan.

[Charlie Barrons]

You're mild.

[Miles]

Start over. Let's start the show.

[Charlie Barrons]

Miles, the you betcha guy is here and so is me, Charlie Barrons. And this is the Bellied up podcast folks. And we are here just to listen.

[Miles]

Where are we at today? Today, Charlie?

[Charlie Barrons]

We're at the Mars Cheese Castle. Kenosha, Wisconsin. Beautiful place, beautiful town.

[Miles]

We. We met. We met the guy at the ch. Castle. Charlie, that cuts the cheese.

[Charlie Barrons]

We met the cheese cutter.

[Miles]

You know, I. I thought he would smell worse, but you know, he must have a lot of cologne on.

[Charlie Barrons]

Miles. Miles. Miles. There's Miles. Hey, why does his body look so good? Because he's always eating them low hanging fruits.

[Miles]

Yeah, you gotta get your vegetables and fruits in, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yes, you do, Miles.

[Miles]

Charlie, I was watching some football last night.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And I had a thought when I was watching the post game interview that.

[Charlie Barrons]

You should open your yearbook up again.

[Miles]

Well, yeah, one, I've mastered the art of the postgame interview. All the postgame interview. Sorry, post win game interviews that I had to do over the years.

[Charlie Barrons]

Did you do a lot of post game interviews?

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah. So wday, not to brag. Pretty big deal.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know what I think would be fun? As if they have post game interviews for other things.

[Miles]

That's. Yes, 100%.

[Charlie Barrons]

Like what would be a good one?

[Miles]

Every post game interview sounds the same. And we can prove it right here, right now by doing a post game ice fishing.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, post. Okay, okay. I'm the interviewee.

[Miles]

All right, hold on, I gotta walk in.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right.

[Miles]

How we doing, folks? Yeah, Charlie from the district.

[Charlie Barrons]

Hey, Miles, by the way, great, great catches out there. You really got a batch of perch in there and some crappies and a few northern too. What was going through your head out there as you had the third northern on the line?

[Miles]

Well, first I just gotta tip my cap to the other guys in the other shanties. You know, that's. They're a good team over there and they really fought hard. But I'm also really proud of our guys in our shanty. You know, it's. We dealt with some adversity early there. I saw that buddy heater went out.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, cold toes.

[Miles]

Our guys are a resilient group of guys and we were able to get the job done.

[Charlie Barrons]

And what are you guys going to do about the fact that your ice shanty, when bringing it off the lake, you tore off the bottom piece of the fabric there.

[Miles]

It's unfortunate, but like we tell our guys in the locker room every week that it's all about the things you.

[Charlie Barrons]

Can control and you could have controlled that. In fact, your. What? Your teammate, Ryan, he was hammered when he put his boot through it.

[Miles]

You're talking about getting the ice or getting that shanty off the ice?

[Charlie Barrons]

I'm talking about.

[Miles]

Yeah, we're not talking about fishing. We're talking about getting it off the ice.

[Charlie Barrons]

I thought was a fair question.

[Miles]

We're up here fishing and you want to talk about getting the shanty off the ice?

[Charlie Barrons]

I. I thought was a fair question. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[Miles]

Not fishing. Pulling the shanty off the ice. That's what we're in here talking about.

[Charlie Barrons]

People have been asking though, if perhaps you guys weren't drinking so many beers on the ice, could you have brought in even more fish?

[Miles]

You know, like we tell our guys every single week it's about the things you can control. And some days the fish are biting, some days they're not. But we just got to keep swinging that ax and eventually the tree is going to fall down. One would think, you know, we had a good group of guys in that locker room.

[Charlie Barrons]

Right, right, right. One thing that you could control is the amount that you drink out there on the ice. And it seems like you guys crushed 230 racks and there was three of you.

[Miles]

Well, and honestly, hats off to the guys, the other shanties, they were drinking quite a bit of beer too, and so they put up a good fight. But ultimately, when it boils down to it, we got a good group of guys over in that locker room, and we don't like to listen to all the noise. And we're gonna wake up tomorrow, we're gonna celebrate this one, and we're gonna wake up tomorrow, and we'll be on to next week.

[Charlie Barrons]

You guys lost two cell phones in the ice fishing hole. Are there any regrets about that?

[Miles]

Yeah, I tell my guys every week that we don't want to live with regrets, you know, and as long as we show up every day, bring good energy, stay focused on the task at hand, you know, the wins and losses take care of themselves. And so we just try to go one and, oh, this week and, you know, I couldn't be more proud of our guys, their work ethic. I'm excited to see where we go.

[Charlie Barrons]

Speaking of losses, Tyler lost his truck through the ice. Do you think he really should have driven it out there with only six inches?

[Miles]

Yeah, it's tough to lose a good, good ball player like that through the ice, you know, wouldn't I. I'd be lying if I didn't say that one hurts. But we'll mourn him. You know, we'll go to the funeral on, on Saturday. But then right after that funeral, we're going to be wake up the next day. We're going to get back focused on next week.

[Charlie Barrons]

Do you feel like you should have tried to rescue him instead of cracked a few beers and said, we'll see if he can swim to the top? Are you laughing or crying? Tyler was a good man. He had a family.

[Miles]

You know, I'm just proud of the guys in the locker room. They got a great work ethic. And also, hats off to the other guys in the other shanties. They work hard. So do we. And just so happened that something like that happens. Sometimes the ball bounces your way, sometimes the fish swim Your way. Sometimes they don't. But all I know is we're going to wake up tomorrow and be on the next week.

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank you, coach.

[Miles]

Thank you. No problem. Solid is a lot of hats off. A lot of respect for the other team.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, they.

[Miles]

Have you noticed they say that in every answer.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

If you're. So if you're doing an interview, sports interview, you either need to give hats off to the other team and mad respect or hats off to your own teammates. And then if you get that out of the way, you can brag about yourself all you want after, you know. So you rush for 690 yards today, you know, well, first of all, hats off to my teammates. I couldn't do it without them, but yeah, I'm pretty fucking good. You see that spin move? Oh, my God. But hats off to my teammates for not getting in the way, you know, over and over it is.

[Charlie Barrons]

Unless you're Aaron Rodgers doing a post.

[Miles]

Game interview, you know, and okay, here is Aaron Rodgers. You're Aaron Rodgers. I'm the interviewer. He just got done icing. This is a post game. Aaron Rodgers, ice fishing. So, Aaron, you know, there's been a lot of buzz this off season and you assured us you were going to come and perform today. Wasn't necessarily the outcome that you had wanted. What, what went on in that shanty today?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, it was everybody else's fault, first and foremost. Tyler, he drove his truck out there, he fell through the ice, and I would have saved him, but what's the point? He's useless. You know, you look at Ryan, Ryan's out there, he's drilling the holes. I mean, I say, Ryan, there's perch here and he drills a hole over there and then he drops the chisel through the ice. Who even uses a chisel anymore? You know, completely his fault. No, I'm just here cashing my $150 million. And the fact that these guys can't drill a hole is not my problem.

[Miles]

Okay. There was some reports, you know, during the day that there was some sort of substance or smoke billowing out of your shanty. Can you tell us what that's all about?

[Charlie Barrons]

That was our ayahuasca medicine chanting. And that's where I was seeing the perch from the perches point of view. In order to catch the perch, you have to be one with the perch, and I am one with the perch.

[Miles]

Okay?

[Charlie Barrons]

And what I have to do out there is what I have to do out there to get the job done.

[Miles]

I did see you have a conversation with the DNR today. Can you tell us what that was all about?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, they don't know what the fuck they're doing. Okay? I'm gonna tell you that right now.

[Jared]

All right?

[Charlie Barrons]

They're getting out there saying, protect the fish, you know, what about protecting the ice fishermen? Okay, Ryan's down there. Sorry. Tyler's down there. Whoever it was done Mary down there drowning. And I gotta talk to you about why we're shooting perch with a shotgun. Well, I mean, it's not my issue. If they float, they're dead. They're mine. Okay? Speaking of floating, would it kill Tyler to float, for God's sakes? You know, now we gotta go down there and try to find his body. I'm freezing. It's not my fault. Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, thank you, Aaron.

[Charlie Barrons]

Go fuck yourself.

[Miles]

I like that. That's kind of fun. You do a post game interview of dads?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So, Mike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your plan for tomorrow? I know it didn't biting out there today very well. So what's your plan tomorrow? Yeah, well, we'll show up. Yeah, wherever we fish, we fish. So. Okay, well, what time do you plan on getting out here tomorrow? When I get out here. Okay. All right, well, a good talk.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah. Well, we got another episode of the Bellied up podcast here, Miles. We're goofy today, folks. We're goofy. We're gonna take some callers and we're gonna try to leave it all out on the field on this episode of the Bellied up podcast.

[Miles]

Honestly, hats off to all of the listeners out there. We couldn't do it, but I'm just proud of our guys here for getting the job done today.

[Charlie Barrons]

Proud of what we've been able to accomplish.

[Miles]

You know, a lot of respect for the other podcasts out there too. They play good ball and they're good podcasts. They're gonna be tough to beat down the road, so. But we're. We're on to the next caller and.

[Charlie Barrons]

One caller at a time.

[Miles]

Just proud of our guys. All right, guys, we have Jared from Kansas City, Missouri. And Jared has a little bit of a Everybody Loves Raymond situation on his hands. Jared, what's going on?

[Andre]

That's true. Life comes at your fast and, you know, you get married, you have some kids, and then the next thing you know, your in laws live across the street.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow.

[Andre]

It's. It's going okay. We're hanging in there. We're doing okay so far, but, you know, want to be preventative, want to be strategic in how we handle this situation.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jared]

So what?

[Andre]

Who better to call?

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Miles]

Yes. 100. So give us a little backstory. Why did they move next door? And give me the whole rundown on that.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Does your wife like it?

[Andre]

You know, it has its days, but here's, here's how it went down. My father in law is a realtor, right? He's a. He's a really successful realtor, so he knows, he knows what's going on around town. You know, we bought this house, of course, he helped us buy it. And at the time, it's a great house for us, but there happens to be an empty lot across the street in a residential neighborhood and everything. And then, you know, what happens is a year goes by and he says, hey, you know, I'm thinking about buying this lot just as an investment, you know, just to hold onto it. Land is a good investment. So he buys a lot or he said, are you okay with this? Yeah, okay, that's fine. Another year or two goes by. Hey, you know, we've been thinking about building a house somewhere. What about this lot that you guys have across the street? And so they actually ended up, you know, what do you say at that point? No, you know, so here we are. Here we are a few years later, they built their dream house and right across the street. So everything is good overall, but want to just make sure that we get ahead of any issues.

[Charlie Barrons]

He did a classic bait and switch, by the way.

[Miles]

Hats off to your father in law because he's playing chess while you guys are all playing checkers. I think that was the plan all along.

[Charlie Barrons]

Of course it was.

[Andre]

It's hard not to think that, to be honest.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, you got to give him props because he likes you. He likes you, I guess.

[Andre]

So give yourself to keep a close eye on things. I think is maybe more.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, let him keep a close eye.

[Miles]

Do you ever. Do you ever look out like the front window of your house and just see him sitting on the porch cleaning his gun, cleaning his shotgun, cleaning everything?

[Andre]

Yeah, cleaning the shotgun, keeping the truck and, you know, clean. Just a little bit of judgment here and there. I'm shooting across, you know, if the, the grass isn't cut right, if there's weeds growing up, you know, all kinds of things. That just makes me a little self conscious. This guy's with you?

[Miles]

This guy gives me very meet the parents vibes.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Is his name Jack?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, Jack.

[Miles]

You might want to do a little sweep in your house to see if it's bugged or not. You might be running surveillance.

[Andre]

Not A bad idea.

[Miles]

So have you had any issues? Are they stopping over a lot? What's, Is there any, are there no boundaries? What's, what's been going on there?

[Andre]

You know, overall, they're okay with the boundaries. I think they get that there needs to be some boundaries, but there's things that supersede the boundaries too. We got two kids, you know, they're grandkids and so they can, they can just stop on in, they can just walk in the door sometimes or they'll do the, you know, the classic like two knock and then just walk straight in anyway. Like that, like that helps you at all. Like what's the point of knocking if you're just coming in? So.

[Miles]

All right, what's going on, kids?

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow. Yeah, they're, they're violating some boundaries, I tell you that.

[Miles]

Well, Charlie, let's rapid fire here. What are some techniques to set some boundaries if your in laws live next door?

[Charlie Barrons]

I think you, you guys start walking around naked a lot. I think you gotta let it hang there. Let it hang, Jared. And then wait for that knock and just be sitting there, Superman. And looking at the door. And when they walk in, be like, can I help you with something? And look him dead in the eyes.

[Miles]

Yeah, just take one moment of embarrassment to be safe the rest of your life.

[Charlie Barrons]

And I don't care where his eyes are looking. When you see him say, eyes up here. What's the name of your father in law?

[Andre]

Chuck.

[Charlie Barrons]

Eyes up here. Chuck. Eyes up here.

[Miles]

I think another move, same vein. Just put a sock on the front door handle.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's good. That's real good.

[Miles]

Then they won't even waste the time to walk over there. They'll be able to spot that sucker. Yeah, do like a, like a neon orange sock. Put it on door handle so I can see it from their house.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. And then if he comes in with that sock in hand, you're sitting there dong out. Thanks, Chuck. I was looking for my sock. And then just put it on over your deal, red hot chili pepper style. And then just walk. Can I get you anything? Or you could take the other approach. You could be the bad neighbor yourself. You could, you could do a double knock, walk into their house, treat it like your own. You know, Chuck's out there working hard, slinging real estate. You're sitting on his favorite chair. He comes in the door, you're sitting on his favorite chair. Chuck's going to think twice about wanting to live, Right?

[Miles]

Yeah. Get ahead of it. Be proactive about. That's true. You need to make them want to move somewhere else.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. You got any fireworks, Jared?

[Andre]

We could. This is Missouri.

[Miles]

You could do what someone in my neighborhood does. They have motion sensor floodlights on the front of their house. And you could just have a giant floodlight that lights up his whole house.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Pointed at his bedroom. Make the bedroom the target of that.

[Miles]

You come over, don't you come over. Don't take off your shoes. You know, just throw those on all the furniture. Could be good.

[Charlie Barrons]

Go, go over there. Clean his gutters once a week until you break a gutter. Put some pressure on a gutter.

[Miles]

Go over to go over to his house and just eat all of his snacks that actually. And drink all of his beer. That will. That will make a guy do some crazy things.

[Andre]

Yeah. The problem with some of these ideas you guys are mentioned is that he could turn and use those first ideas that you gave me back on me. And that's just a situation I don't want to get into.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, you don't want to see Chuck's bits and pieces?

[Miles]

Well, I think it's a game of chicken, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Who's willing to get crazy game of chicken with two cocks.

[Miles]

What does your wife think about the whole situation?

[Andre]

You know, what's always different when it's the in law. So she's close with her mom and that sort of thing. So for her, I think it's. It's smooth sailing, you know. She also uses it to her advantage, you know, with the kids. Like our kids are over there all the time. And so sometimes we can. That's. There's definitely pros too. We can just open the door and shove the kids in, you know, and then just go back across the street, stuff like that. So that works out.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's not bad. You got babysitters right there. We should start looking at the positives of this, you know? No, you and your wife can have a lot of you and your lifetime, if you know what I mean.

[Miles]

Just remember the sock.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, put the sock.

[Andre]

That's true.

[Charlie Barrons]

Toss the kids out. Put the sock on the door. Say if this socks are rocking, don't come a knocking. Put that sign up. Actually, yeah, my bad idea.

[Andre]

The other pro would be I pretty much never have to buy any more tools. Just got the code to a shop and just what mine is his now.

[Charlie Barrons]

He's got a whole shop in his garage.

[Andre]

Oh, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, Jared, what are you doing, dude? Chuck seems like a good guy. I'm team Chuck now. I was just turned further.

[Miles]

We get into this, I'm Starting to see less and less disadvantages.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, what's got.

[Charlie Barrons]

What's the big deal?

[Miles]

You got an insta babysitter.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yup.

[Miles]

You got a whole shop next door.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You have someone always watching your house, so it's going to be safe. You don't even got to spend the money on a ring doorbell.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What's so wrong?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, what's. So there must be a problem with Chuck. Or is it the mother in law that gives you problems? What's her name?

[Andre]

No, no, no, no, she's great. She's great. She's the babysitter.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, no, no, no, she's great. A little more emotion in that voice.

[Miles]

She's standing over his shoulder with a gun to his head, holding. Holding cue cards on what to say.

[Andre]

Maybe it's my insecurities. Like I said, what are you ins. The house in order? Are the weeds clicked? Is the. Are. Are the weeds picked? Is the. The driveway, you know, shoveled? That sort of stuff? You know, it's not even anything he's doing.

[Jared]

Maybe it's me.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's you. Maybe you're projecting.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know, Chuck probably not care. Does Chuck care? Does he come over? Oh, he does.

[Andre]

Yeah. But he's. He cares. But he's also successful that he just pays to have all that done, you know, So, I mean, kind of in competition. It's like competition with your neighbors, but. Well, neighbors, just your father.

[Miles]

There you go. You live across the street. See if you can get kind of a two for one deal from the guys mowing the lawn and shoveling the snow.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know, he's trying to keep up with the Chucks. Keeping up with the.

[Miles]

I've been doing. Trying to do that for years.

[Charlie Barrons]

Keeping up with the Chuck.

[Miles]

Your name's Chuck.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah, I get it. That's funny.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Is he. Is he like a competitive guy? Like, is. Is there any of this that he's bringing on or is this all just your own emotional issues? Jared?

[Andre]

I would say it's. It's. It's kind of the. It's like the competition. But no one wants to call it a competition. You know, like we, like we both know it. But if you brought it up to him, he'd say, oh, no, you know, it's all good. You know, you're busy, all this stuff. But secretly we all know he's winning the competition.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Andre]

You know, that sort of thing.

[Charlie Barrons]

Does he. Does he come over and cut your lawn for you ever?

[Miles]

Oh, no, no, he doesn't cut his own.

[Andre]

He hasn't touched lawnmower in many years, does he?

[Charlie Barrons]

I know he doesn't cut his own lawn, but if he goes over there and cuts his lawn, you know, he probably has a lawnmower even though he doesn't cut his lawn, right?

[Andre]

I don't think so.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh really?

[Andre]

A lawnmower?

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, he's one of those guys. He's a bougie one.

[Miles]

I got another question for you. Would you rather have your in laws across the street or your own parents across the street.

[Andre]

Right by in laws.

[Miles]

Wow, really?

[Andre]

Yeah, probably.

[Miles]

What would be so bad about having your parents across the street?

[Andre]

Well, I feel like it would just be, you know, all the same insecurities just dialed up if it's my own old man, you know?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, yeah, I think, and I think that's the real issue here. I think Chuck is reminding you of your old man a little bit.

[Andre]

Yeah, never thought about it in that way.

[Charlie Barrons]

Do you have a good therapist or bartender you can talk to over there in Missouri at the bartender. Okay, well get over to the bar. I want you. This is what you got to do. You get over to the bar today and you start dialing this in with your bartender. All right. I think I'm going to recommend a session a week for the next month until you get this straightened around.

[Miles]

Yeah, and if you really want to hit it head on, get bring your dad and your father in law to the bar as well and you guys all hash it out.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yep, yep.

[Andre]

We've got to be something.

[Charlie Barrons]

Unresolved childhood issues. Maybe so yeah.

[Miles]

Did you imagine even just doing that with my own dad? You imagine that, Charlie?

[Charlie Barrons]

No.

[Miles]

Sitting at a bar drinking and having the bartender do therapy with you and your dad is my nightmare. My dad would be so uncomfortable. He wouldn't say a word.

[Charlie Barrons]

He would just sit there, but would just sit there. I feel like arms crossed, kind of like this looking at you, judging you.

[Andre]

Just peeling the bar beer bottle.

[Miles]

Yeah, he would just sit there wide eyed like what is going on? You're talking about feelings. No, no, no, no, no. We bury those babies deep down and never bring them back up.

[Andre]

Maybe that's just what I need to do here.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, well Jared, some real advice.

[Miles]

Just pretend he doesn't live across the street. You're gonn human being.

[Andre]

Could be.

[Miles]

What's the worst that's going to happen?

[Charlie Barrons]

Otherwise Jared, buy yourself a drone and start droning around his house at night. Make him think there's aliens that live above him.

[Andre]

Not a bad idea.

[Charlie Barrons]

Just don't get too close to the window. That camera might catch something you don't want to see.

[Andre]

That's true, too. 5 seller trade. Put me down for a drone.

[Miles]

I thought you were going to say your house.

[Andre]

No.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, man. Well, Jared, good luck with it. Okay.

[Andre]

Hey, thanks, boys. Good advice.

[Miles]

Yep.

[Andre]

We'll let you know how some of it goes.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, sounds good. Tell Chuck we say hi.

[Andre]

All right, sounds good. Watch for deer.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, we'll do.

[Jay]

Bye.

[Charlie Barrons]

Bye.

[Miles]

Now it sounds like he kind of lucked out. It sounds like he's got good in laws. Yeah, I mean, Everybody Loves Raymond's situation was a little bit of a stretch.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

He's got free babysitters. He's got every tool he ever needed. He's got another fridge full of beer if he ever runs out. I mean, I. I think Jared's gonna be okay.

[Miles]

Miles, it actually would be interesting to hear Anne's take on this, considering that I own a lake cabin directly next door to my parents.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's true.

[Miles]

So.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, that's true. Does that ever get weird?

[Miles]

Oh, no. I am. I'm a direct guy. So if I. If we're like, hey, we're just gonna hang out at our place today, we'll usually say that and goes over pretty good. Just being honest.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, you are pretty direct.

[Miles]

I could be direct.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like that about you. You're an open book. Good book, too. I'd read you cover to cover.

[Miles]

Would you?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, hopefully.

[Miles]

Yeah. Anyways.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, did this just get awkward? Miles?

[Miles]

I was gonna make a joke that didn't need to.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, you say it.

[Miles]

Nothing.

[Charlie Barrons]

Go ahead.

[Miles]

Should we take another call?

[Charlie Barrons]

We'll take another caller.

[Miles]

I thought you're gonna plug your book. Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Midwest Survival Guide. You can purchase it on mantwalkminute.com.

[Miles]

Hello, is this Andrew?

[Jay]

That is I, Andre.

[Miles]

It's Miles and Charlie from the Bellied up podcast. How you doing, buddy?

[Jay]

I'm doing good.

[Miles]

What are you up to today?

[Jay]

Long time listener.

[Miles]

Are you?

[Jay]

Oh, you know, just on the. Oh, yeah. You know, just on the drive home from work here. Long time listener, first time voicemail leaver.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like.

[Miles]

Well, now you're a first time caller as well.

[Jay]

Oh, that's right.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, so what we understand by the voicemail is that you are a former Amish or current Amish. Are you riding a horse right now? What's going on?

[Jay]

Oh, no, you know, only the horses under the hood, you know. No, I mean, first generation, not Amish. You know, basically parents were, you know, I was babysat by them, so you know, I know the language and everything out here in central Ohio.

[Charlie Barrons]

So you rump Springard, huh?

[Jay]

Oh, I mean, I live every day on the rum springa, you know.

[Charlie Barrons]

There you go. Now, for people who don't know Amish, tell us, how do you go from being Amish, not Amish?

[Jay]

So, you know, it really depends on the church. You know, some people, you know, some churches really don't like it. Some do, but you basically just, you know, throw your little straw hat in the corner and say, I'm done.

[Charlie Barrons]

Are your parents still Amish?

[Jay]

No, no, they were. They would have switched before they, you know, they got hit.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, okay, so they switched before they got hitched. So one of your parents is a non and one is an arm?

[Jay]

No, no, no. They. They were both Amish growing up, and then both, you know, switched to, you know, not Amish on their own time, then got married, you know, normal, you know. You know.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. You know, Charlie, so they rum Spring first, right?

[Jay]

No, yeah, they. They did the forever room Spring.

[Miles]

So you were never Amish, you know?

[Jay]

No, no. But, you know, basically, you know, might as well have been, you know, babysat by all the Amish aunts and uncles, you know, cousins and such.

[Charlie Barrons]

And is it true that they have, you know, no access to hear this podcast or is that a misnomer?

[Jay]

Oh, no, that's. That's correct. I mean, other than the room spring is. They don't got phones, though. No.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, there's no way they can be tracked by AI, so that's.

[Jay]

Oh, no way.

[Miles]

No, they're off the grid, so it sounds like you should be Amish.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know, I'm. I'm new Amish. You know, I'm gonna get a flip phone. Yeah, yeah, I'll be new on it.

[Jay]

Okay, so you gotta get a. Yeah, sorry, go ahead.

[Miles]

Oh, I was gonna say in your. Your voicemail, you know, you were saying that you could be an Amish translator for us, you know.

[Jay]

Oh, for sure.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. All right, so I. I do.

[Miles]

Charlie, do you have a message that you'd like to get to the Amish, and Andre will pass that along.

[Charlie Barrons]

I would like to say. I'd like to tell them I'm sorry for. If I ever insulted an Amish, I don't think I did. I think I've always been respectful. But in your voicemail, you made it sound like maybe I said something non, non Amish friendly. Was that true? I forget what I said.

[Jay]

No, no, I just. I just know, you know, every now and again you come up like, you Know, I listen to a lot of your guys's podcasts and every now and again you guys are like, oh yeah, you know, the Amish, whatever. Oh no, they'll never hear that. Well, you know, there's a lot of different kinds of Amish. This is the, the Ohio Amish. I mean, there's, you know, two main, I mean, I guess main hubs for the Amish. There's Lancaster Penns and then there's the Holmes County Amish out here in Ohio. You know, the red headed stepchild of the Midwest. No offense to redhead, their stepchildren, but you know, it's, that's how it is out here. You know, I, you know, live in Sugar Creek here. It's about five minutes from, from the, I guess the main spot, the main town of the Amish, kind of where they settle. But yeah, no, typical, you know, Sugar Creek. There's, you know, in typical Midwest fashion, there's, you know, small towns so they got to compensate. They gotta. World's biggest cuckoo clock. So, you know, you want to come see a big cuckoo clock, that's, you know, here's the place to go, you know.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's pretty slick. So why did the Amish not like technology? Did they know that robots were gonna kill us all back when they decided not to do it?

[Jay]

Oh, they, you know, they probably had a hunch, you know. No, the, I guess the main policy behind it is, is it's, it's too worldly and you know, the world is, you know, evil and sinful. So if they detach themselves from this, you know, world, then that's their, that's their ticket.

[Charlie Barrons]

Not bad actually.

[Miles]

Actually a lot of, kind of checks out.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Looking for what's false about it.

[Miles]

Are you a missionary?

[Jay]

Right?

[Charlie Barrons]

I mean.

[Jay]

No. Hey, no, I, I'm, you know, I'm not here to diss on the Amish. You know, I got a lot of relatives. But what I will say is there's five requirements to be a cult and they have four of them. So, you know, you'll let that be what it is.

[Miles]

What, you know, what is the, the fifth thing they're missing, you know, to be a cult.

[Jay]

I believe. I'm not quite sure I, I know that the, they have. If you leave, then you're like, you're banished and excommunicated is what they call it. They won't talk to you anymore. But you know, that's kind of like. Same thing with the churches. It kind of varies by church, but there, there's a few different things. Like you're have to follow the rules and regulations of the elders and a whole bunch of things like that. But the actual fifth thing that it's not. I can't quite put a finger on Kool Aid.

[Charlie Barrons]

You guys aren't into Kool Aid?

[Jay]

Yeah. No, they know that's too sugary.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Not because they don't want to, you know.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

They're just doing it because it's too much sugar. Otherwise they would totally be into the Kool Aid.

[Charlie Barrons]

What's the best part? What's the best part about the Amish? What's the worst part?

[Jay]

I'd say the best part is, generally speaking, they have pretty good morals. You know, they're, you know, you know, most of the part respectful and, you know, like, have the, you know, help in hand. You know, if someone. Someone in the church's, you know, house burned down or something, they'll. Whole community will get together and, you know, build them a new house or, you know, give them loans or whatever kind of whatever the community needs. But I'd say the worst part is, you know, driving those. Those bicycles down the road at the frigid Ohio temperature of, you know, it gets nasty around here, you know, freezing cold, snow everywhere, and they're slipping and sliding on the bikes like, you know, no tomorrow.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, I saw this one Amish, he was skiing behind a horse, and I thought that was pretty cool. He was in the ditch skiing. The horse was. You ever ski behind a hors. Have an Amish affiliate?

[Jay]

I can't. I can't say that I have. I have went sledding behind the tractor. You know that. You know, that suffices.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's close. That's a little bit too much technology for my preference there, though.

[Miles]

So you told us you can. You can speak Dutch, you know.

[Jay]

Yeah, that's right. There's a. So the. There's a language that they all speak amongst themselves. Now, there's different dialects and different versions of it depending on where you go, but it's called Pennsylvania Dutch. And it's. It's kind of a mixed dialect between English, German, you know, Swiss and a little bit of Dutch itself. But, yeah, they just kind of. It's referred to as Dutch around here.

[Miles]

Well, let's hear it.

[Charlie Barrons]

How do you say, you know, in Dutch?

[Miles]

How do you say, you know, in Dutch?

[Jay]

Duveish.

[Charlie Barrons]

Nice.

[Jay]

Divest.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, that's interesting. To Vayish. So I'll tell you this much, Devesh. The Amish, the Veish, you see him go around the town and you're like these guys, they kind of have a lot figured out. Like, they make great products and they make great food. You know, I'm sorry, the bash Dubai.

[Jay]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Charlie Barrons]

And. But there's always kind of this trick of the trade of like, what parts of technology do they embrace? What parts don't they? Like some of them do. They all do cash transactions. There's no tapping with the Amish. And is that the only form of currency? Or do they have the vayage Amish currency?

[Jay]

Oh, no. So, yeah, they. They're either cash or. See, the thing about it is these churches, they kind of get lenient and they, you know, they. They bend and stretch the rules, you know, depending on preference or whatever. But the, the best work away. Workaround for technology with an Amish will be a business. So you see, an Amish will start a roofing business and then, you know, that gives them access to a company truck. Not that they can drive it, but, you know, they essentially own it. And the company has a credit card. They don't have a credit card, you know, obviously. So there's plenty of loopholes. I can. Oh, yeah. It's crazy.

[Charlie Barrons]

So the company can own it. This is almost like getting audited. The company can own it, but they can't personally own it.

[Miles]

Shell corporations.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. So in the Amish community, there's no pass through.

[Jay]

What do you mean?

[Charlie Barrons]

I don't know. It's a business term I don't fully understand.

[Miles]

We're going to circle back on that, you know.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. To be a shadow.

[Jay]

Work. That'll work. Yeah, I do that.

[Charlie Barrons]

What's the. What is there any, like, what's the weirdest part about the Amish community? Like, why'd your parents leave?

[Jay]

They just, you know, my mom said she left because she was riding a bike up a hill one day and, you know, she was just pedaling and going to town on that bike and she, you know, as the cars were passing her, she's like, you know, this is real dumb. You know, I can, like, what am I doing here? I'm just pedaling, you know, with all my mind. There's cars just zipping on by.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. So she said, bridge too far.

[Jay]

That's right.

[Charlie Barrons]

A shoulder too short. And she left the community. And then your dad, why did he leave?

[Jay]

He just, I think it was kind of, you know, the people he was around, his buddies, you know, basically, you know, he was. He was roomspring and then just never stopped. Usually it goes, you know, you turn 18, you start room springing and around the 22, 23. Age, you know, you get. You find you a lovely lady and you settle down and you go back to, you know, cracking the whip up the old horse. But, you know, he just decided, hey, this, this is a good time. I'll just keep doing this for the rest of my life.

[Miles]

Just too horny.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, we've lost a lot of good Amish people to that, you know.

[Jay]

Hey, no, I mean, what's. What's stopping you from that? And being honest, you know, they got, you know, I've got. I don't even know, you know, to be honest with you. You know, keep us on the hush hush. I don't even know all my cousins names. Oh, you know, God, my mom's got nine. My mom's got nine sisters and a brother. That's just my mom's side. There's over 100 cousins.

[Miles]

Well, that's not even close to how many siblings Charlie has.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, we're not even Amish. We're just Catholic.

[Jay]

Oh, yeah. Hey, you know, similar. Similar concept.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Same church, different view. Well, different church.

[Jay]

That's right.

[Miles]

Different church. Same type of pew.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Wood.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jay]

You know, right? Oh, yeah. Benches. Yeah, we got benches in the Amish trip.

[Charlie Barrons]

So can you. Does your dad no longer get contact with his family ever since he left?

[Jay]

No, that's actually, yeah, that's, you know, we were lucky enough to that the family's grandparents, which are still all Amish, you know, they, you know, that's kind of where they drew the line like they were supposed to, but they never did, just, Just because that's just not how they rolled, which is, you know, I can appreciate that. They just, you know, it's their. It's their child, for Pete's sake.

[Charlie Barrons]

What do the Amish do for fun?

[Jay]

Oh, softball, volleyball, you know, basketball, sports, that's. That's their big ticket.

[Miles]

Only the girl sports.

[Charlie Barrons]

No. Basketball.

[Miles]

Whatever. Softball, Volleyball.

[Jay]

Yes. Sewing, no, I'm just kidding. I'm actually looking at a. A softball field right now. You know, they're. They're littered around here. There's all these leagues and stuff and. Yeah, they're. They're big on softball. They. I mean, these. These boys and girls can hit dingers.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow. And you said basketball too. That would be a great movie. Like the first Amish guy to make it to the NBA.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Oh, yeah. It's like the kingpin 2.0.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah. Ever hear that movie Kingpin with the bowling?

[Jay]

Oh, yeah, that's a doozy. Now that. That Amish is not portrayed Nearly as well, but, I mean, it's still, you know. I get a kick out of it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, that's pretty cool. What are the names of all your cousins that you can remember?

[Jay]

Oh, man, there's too many to list. You know, We've got some. Well, here. How's about this? I'll just start, you know, rambling off some names on the whole family. We got a Mary. We have a. You know, we got a Esther. We have a. Lots of Bible names. Really, you know. You think that's weird? It's a lot of Bible names. Yeah, we're kind of odd. I didn't, you know, Never really picked up on that, but, you know, lots of. Yeah, lots of Bible names. Any. Any Bible name you can think of.

[Miles]

Ruth.

[Jay]

That's. I probably. Ruth. Yeah.

[Miles]

Elizabeth.

[Jay]

Yep.

[Charlie Barrons]

Joel. Joel.

[Jay]

Joel and Elizabeth.

[Miles]

Job. Job.

[Charlie Barrons]

Job. The Book of Job.

[Jay]

Not a job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hard work, you know, that's another. That's another Amish thing, you know, Work. They work hard, you know, raising barns.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I've seen. And you guys, when you move a barn, you got, like a hundred of you. You're like ants.

[Jay]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

That's not even a tenth of them. With all these cousins. That's just one family. One immediate family. All hundred of them lift a barn.

[Jay]

That's right.

[Miles]

That's why they have so many kids, so they can move barns around, you know?

[Jay]

Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah.

[Miles]

The barns aren't going to move themselves.

[Charlie Barrons]

No. If you drop a barn on a kid, then you got to have more in the wings, for sure.

[Jay]

Hey, now, I got, you know, maybe some other things to talk about. The. So, yeah, I was gonna. I used to do Porta John deliveries. Right. And there's actually Miles. You actually kind of hit the nail right on the head there. I think it's kind of funny. So I used to do Porta John deliveries, and there's some. There's a pet peeve that I got. It's. It's when people call me Buddy, and you know what I mean? It's. It's a difference in. It's. It's really in the tone. You know, I used to deliver Porta Johns, and people were like, oh, hey, buddy, you know, you can just set it right over there. And I'll tell you what, you know, that kind of gets my attention because it's, like, why. I mean, it kind of feels like someone thinks a little bit lesser of you. And it's the same way with, you know, my guy. You know, there's A. There's a. You bet your radio episode, you know, found where all podcasts can be found, where they're talking about. What was it? I think I'm not quite sure, but it was he, you know, my guy and buddy, you know, it's just kind of a demeaning thing. So if I. How would I go about getting people to not call me buddy? You know, I get it. I'm 20, got a little baby face, can't grow facial hair. But how do I. How do I come across to not be a buddy to people?

[Miles]

You know, I think I called you buddy when we started this call.

[Jay]

Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jay]

No, I know. I knew you were gonna. You know, I have, like, I. There was just a thought in the back of my brain. He's gonna call me buddy. Like, I just find that funny. Yeah, I get a kick out.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, my God.

[Miles]

And when I said it, I was like, why did I call him buddy? Yeah, dude, you just have. Do you just have a Persona and an aura that people want to call you buddy or what?

[Jay]

My attention so much. And it's not like we got a guy that's a little more Southern at work, and he's like, hey, buddy, what's going on? You know, that doesn't bother me because it's like, you know, it's not. It does. He doesn't seem any, like, feel any less than me, but it's when it's like, someone like, three years older, me, like, hey, buddy. Or like, you know, it's just like, what?

[Miles]

You know, buddy, just relax.

[Charlie Barrons]

Listen, my guy. Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Kind of like that. Is that what you're talking about?

[Jay]

Oh, dude. Oh, for sure. But the funny thing is, I. I. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I tell people that, and they're like, oh, yeah. They do it just like you did. They're like, oh, you know, they really lean into it. But it doesn't really bother me when people do it to try to annoy me. It's when that first. It's the. It's like the subconscious thing to call me buddy is what gets my attention. That's what really is weird, you know? Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

How was my initial buddy? Was it friendly or was it snarky?

[Jay]

It was right. You know, it was right down the middle, you know, it was. It wasn't too bad. No.

[Miles]

Okay. Sweet. Well, man.

[Jay]

No.

[Miles]

And well, buddy. Well, buddy, this has been good, Buddy.

[Jay]

Hey, I got one more thing, if you don't mind.

[Miles]

Let's do it.

[Charlie Barrons]

You got a horse you want buy. Sell a Trade.

[Jay]

I don't actually. My cousin might, you know, so I do things very hardly, you know. You know, that's listening to podcasts. I've listened to you guys so much.

[Andre]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Do you listen up. Do you listen to podcasts hardly or do you listen to podcasts? Hardly?

[Jay]

Hardly.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, I know exactly what you're saying.

[Jay]

Yeah. So, Miles, you know, I'm that guy that called out you, you know, with the ketchup situation.

[Miles]

Are you sure you want to reveal yourself?

[Jay]

Hey, you know what? It is, what it is. I, you know, I'm now the. The resident secret exposer, as you've, you know, pawned me or whatever. But, yeah, not that guy that called out Ryan.

[Miles]

But do you have a. Do you have a bead on who that guy is? You guys talking amongst each other?

[Jay]

I don't. I, you know, I, you know, I can't reveal the secrets on that. No.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Jay]

But no, what I'll say. What I'll say is, yeah, I've listened to both you guys. The Crites cast on it. All podcasts can be found. I'll say, Charlie, the sisters episode got a big kick out of that. You know, I've got younger sisters of my own, so I get a. Got a real kick out of that dynamic.

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank you.

[Jay]

But yeah, yeah, no, for sure. And Miles, I'll say one more thing. Me and you are very similar, you know, both black belts in Taekwondo. Me and you could. Wow, take anybody. We could take anybody. I got mine at nine as well. You know, we can really go, go to.

[Miles]

Charlie wouldn't be so lippy if he remembered often that I am a black belt. You know what I mean?

[Jay]

Oh, that's right. That's right.

[Charlie Barrons]

I forget you're a black belt.

[Miles]

I know.

[Jay]

Yeah, no problem. Yeah, I love you guys. You guys are, you know, really putting smiles on people's faces. It's great, you know, great work that you do. And I just want to say, you know, like, you know, I really adopted your guys's comedy. I find myself saying things, you know, like, oh, like the rhino and the Miles, whatever, you know, lots of that. So, yeah, no, take her easy. Keep her moving and. Yeah, it'll do.

[Miles]

Yeah. Well, make sure you tell the Amish, you know, that we say hi, you know, or to tell your Amish folks, you know, we say hi, you know.

[Jay]

Will do you as well.

[Charlie Barrons]

Last question. How do you say watch out for deer in Dutch?

[Jay]

All right, all right. This is going to be a little bit much. You guys are going to get a kick out of this.

[Miles]

All right.

[Jay]

Okay, wait. So watch out for deer. It's kind of tough because the dialect's a little different. Oh, it's vaj fahash.

[Charlie Barrons]

Vaj fahaj.

[Jay]

Yeah. Vatch, which is your watch in the, you know, vach, which is your four, and then hotch, which is your deer. So, you know, lots of big hush around here.

[Charlie Barrons]

Amish, big hunters. I like it. Well, Andre.

[Jay]

Yeah?

[Charlie Barrons]

See you later. And watch for Hodge.

[Jay]

Oh, yeah. I'll see you up there in Akron.

[Charlie Barrons]

Sounds good, my man. We'll see you there. Like that. I switch to my man.

[Miles]

Have a good one, buddy.

[Charlie Barrons]

See ya.

[Miles]

What a good guy.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, my gosh, he's ripping. He's ripping and gripping, man. Good dude. Miles, we got spring just around the corner. Can you excuse me? Can you believe that spring is just around the corner?

[Miles]

Well, is it real spring or fake spring?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, it's first spring.

[Miles]

First spring. Okay. And first spring is about to be sprung.

[Charlie Barrons]

I only know one way to spring into the new year, Miles, and that is with a little old glass of tippy cow. Nothing says snow on a robin's back like a glass of the old tippy cow.

[Miles]

My spring is sprunging right now.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Drink this, Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

That sounds a rock. Miles, I gotta tell you, thank you for sharing this glass of tippy cow with me. Speaking of sharing, I want to share something with our audience. It's this new T shirt we got, Miles. Can you hold it up there? There we go. It says, oh, tip a glass, not a cow. And some of our callers are going to be wearing these sexy little pieces of fabric out to the bar. They're going to be getting numbers like it's nobody's business. Because you show up to a bar like that, people know that you know what you're talking about. So, yeah. And folks, you can buy one for your yourself. If you're not a caller, you can go to. Oh, you betcha.com and you can scoop up on them shirts.

[Miles]

That's right. So, guys, as always, have a good time.

[Charlie Barrons]

Cheers.

[Miles]

Glass. Glass of tippy Cow.

[Charlie Barrons]

Moo.

[Miles]

Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Hi, Miles.

[Miles]

You ever been injured before or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have. And, folks, if you're out there and you've been injured in any type of way, you got to give Nicolay Law a call or go to nicolay law.com. these guys are good. Honestly, he's a true Midwest lawyer.

[Charlie Barrons]

He is. He's working on this case for me right now about an emotionally abusive podcast host, and I think I'm gonna clean this guy's clock isn't a great one.

[Miles]

Because he's not gonna win this one. Charlie, this is not exactly the best.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, he'll win, Miles.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, you can't afford anyone better because I got the town.

[Miles]

That's probably true.

[Charlie Barrons]

1-855-Maybe-He'S a double agent.

[Miles]

What if he's representing me as well?

[Charlie Barrons]

That'd be illegal. That's why I contacted him first. 1-855-Nicolette, why I need a lawyer.

[Miles]

I don't know the law.

[Charlie Barrons]

Know the law before your buddy knows the law.

[Miles]

If you guys are like me, you got to call a lawyer and not me. And you should call Nicolay Law. Guys, we have Jay on the line and Charlie. Jay lives full time in an RV.

[Charlie Barrons]

In an RV down by the river.

[Miles]

That there Clark's an rv. We have cousin Eddie on the line.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow. How long you been in the rv, Jay?

[Jared]

Not quite as long as cousin Eddie. Seven years.

[Miles]

Oh, seven years.

[Jared]

Eight years.

[Charlie Barrons]

And do you love it? Is there any reason to go back?

[Jared]

Oh, there is no reason to go back. Living on the road and seeing things is definitely my kind of lifestyle. Now. Other people can't make it a year. We've met many people who start and they go a year and they can't. They just can't do it.

[Miles]

That's because they don't remember that home is where you park it. You know, that's true. So it almost sounds like you've, like, taken people under your wings and try to teach them the lifestyle and they just can't hack it. Is that what. That what happens?

[Jared]

I wouldn't quite put it that way because I'm not that nice of a guy because, you know, I'm not from the Midwest. But I do. I do help people periodically in trying to understand how to live in an rv. It's not a vacation. That's the first thing that they do is they come out thinking they're on vacation for a year and then they run out of money.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's a good question. If you're living full time in an rv, how do you make money?

[Jared]

I work remotely in the IT business, but I do have friends who go from contract to contract. Not. Not particularly a contractor, but they find contract work. Like, one guy does airplane repairs, another one drives beat trucks in the summer. Just, you know, random jobs here and there.

[Miles]

Because, I'm gonna be honest, this doesn't sound like the lifestyle for me, but this sounds like a great lifestyle for Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

I mean, why do you. I think you would love this I've thought about it. I've thought about converting an old van or something like that, you know, and taking that around, but there's nothing. There's nothing better than the open road. Tell us some of the coolest stuff you've seen out there, Jay. What are people missing? Not living with a home on wheels.

[Jared]

So there's lots of stuff. I've been to a small town in Louisiana, which. I mean, Louisiana has lots of small towns that I could not understand. A word the people were saying is down by Franklin. And they were. I had to get my truck tire fixed, and I took it in to the mechanic, and the guys were saying words at me, and I just stared at him like, what? What did you say to me? And it was awesome. It was fun being there. I've been to the. Up is. It is so pretty up there. And being able to park out in the middle of the trees of nowhere. I mean, it's great. Now, I haven't made it to the east coast yet, but someday. Someday I'll make it over there.

[Charlie Barrons]

You've been doing this seven years and haven't made to the east coast? Some guys just don't like tolls, I suppose. Why, you know, why haven't you gone out east?

[Jared]

We've attempted. So the first time we're gonna go east, the whole COVID virus thing, you hit, and we're like, screw that. There's no way I'm going over where there's that many people. So we went to Montana instead. And then we've been close. We made it to Washington, Pennsylvania, where they did the Washington or George Washington, marched the troops in to do the whiskey tax thing. That's as far east as we've made it. And then we turned around and came back west. We have nothing against the east Coast. It's just we haven't made it over there.

[Miles]

And who is we?

[Jared]

Oh, my family. So my wife is with me, and then we have a kid, Violet, and we're getting them moved into a van.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wave. You're getting them? Yeah. What do you mean?

[Jared]

Really? Yeah. So they're 17, and. And we left her at my. My sister's house, and they bought a van, and they started building it out, and now they're back with us, traveling around. She drives her van around, and then it's being built out. There's a bed in there, shower, toilet. Haven't quite put a sink in there yet. And then eventually, we'll just push them away like every parent does. Right. When they get to a certain age, you Kick them out of the nest. That's. That's my goal.

[Charlie Barrons]

I like it. I like it. You just kind of kick them out, let them fly, or let them drive.

[Miles]

So are the kids homeschooled or not? Home, RV school, then, or.

[Jared]

It's very similar to homeschool, but, yes, they. They do homeschooling stuff. Taking college courses right now to get into college courses.

[Miles]

That's the thing with homeschooling. Homeschool kids learn one so much faster than regular school kids, and they're always way smarter.

[Charlie Barrons]

Really?

[Miles]

Because if I'm smarter than you, Charlie, I still have to learn at the pace that you go. If you are homeschooled, you just go at the pace that you are, and you could be taking college courses as a freshman in high school, and you could test out a shit. So, like, you could take a calculus class. If you learned enough about calculus, you could just take a test and get the credit for it without having to do a whole semester. It's crazy.

[Charlie Barrons]

I didn't know this. Wow, you're starting a whole new thing here, Jay. Was it hard homeschooling in the rv? I mean, are you guys doing lessons as you're driving down the road? How does that work?

[Jared]

Now? The lessons are done when the RV is parked.

[Miles]

What do you mean? You count. You can count cows as you're going?

[Jared]

Yeah, one, you could, but it's a little hard to stay focused when you're, you know, driving on the road and they're asking you calculus questions. It's hard to answer, though. There is a little bit of a thing there. You said miles. I wouldn't say all homeschool kids are smarter. It's. Some are smarter.

[Miles]

Sorry, let me rephrase that. They are smarter that are not so smart. They're smarter than they would be if they were in the regular school system.

[Andre]

Them.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow. I didn't know you were. Are you gonna homeschool your kid, Miles?

[Miles]

I can't. I can't do it. But, you know, it's. If you look at it through a data perspective, everyone should be homeschooling their kids.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow.

[Miles]

But I'm not gonna homeschool my kids.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, well, you just. You must not want what's best for him, Miles. I don't know.

[Miles]

I don't. I think Ann would divorce me if I said we were gonna homeschool our kids, so.

[Jared]

Well, just get in an RV and drive around, and then she has no choice.

[Miles]

Hey, honey. Yeah? I sold the house.

[Charlie Barrons]

What?

[Miles]

Don't. Don't look at me like that. I got a plan, all right? And then throw her the keys.

[Charlie Barrons]

You sold our house and completely redeemed yourself.

[Miles]

Just when I thought, miles, you couldn't get any dumber. You going do something like this and totally redeem yourself. What's the weirdest person you've ever met on the road?

[Jared]

Oh, I have met some really weird ones, but I said the most weird was a guy in different part of Louisiana. We're actually over by. What's up with Louisiana? Over by New Orleans. We're up just north of there. I can't remember the name of town. We're staying on some water reserve land where we could stay for free. And the people who were traveling with us had a little dog. I mean, when I said little dog, I mean, like probably £8 at the most.

[Miles]

Ankle bite.

[Jared]

It was running around and some guy in a van saw the dog running towards him, freaked out, was dreaming about how the dog was gonna eat him. He gets in his van, pulls out a gun and points it at the dog. And we're all just sitting there looking at him going, what the heck is wrong with you? Why? It's a dog. It's not gonna kill you. I mean, it might hurt if it bites you, but it's not gonna kill you. We finally got the dog back, and then he decided that he was going to leave. So he packed up his van and left for a few nights. And I don't know if he came back. We left after, you know, after a few days.

[Charlie Barrons]

So did he point the gun at the dog? Thinking was like a scary tactic because a dog sees a gun and he's like, that's a big bone.

[Jared]

Exactly.

[Miles]

So just another day in the RV park, you know?

[Jared]

Yeah, it was an RV park. It was not. It was on open. It was on public land.

[Miles]

Are there.

[Jared]

So RV parks have their weird things.

[Miles]

Yeah, I was also. My next question would be, in the RV community, do you guys have lot lizards like the truck drivers do? You got to watch out for them.

[Jared]

So my wife's listening to me and I'm gonna have to say no.

[Charlie Barrons]

Wow. Well, I think you just got yourself busted right there. What are the top three things people need to know about if they're gonna have an rv? What's the top three tips you would give anyone who's thinking of living their life in an rv?

[Jared]

An RV is not a forever home. You're gonna replace it often. RVs go down in value, so expect to lose money, but it's going to be less than a mortgage. On a house. You kind of have to do the math on that. And it's not a vacation. I just made it sound like a terrible life. But once you get into where you know the expectations of living in an rv, you see some great things, meet some nice people. Right now I'm at a. At a D and D convergence plan. Dungeons and Dragons in an RV park.

[Charlie Barrons]

Of course you are.

[Miles]

I mean, what else?

[Jared]

I just wanted to write there.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know where. You know where DND was formed? Right here in Wisconsin. That's where it was invented.

[Miles]

All right. Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

Huh?

[Miles]

Would you like to play some DND with me and Jay?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Miles]

All right, Jay, you are the dungeon master. We're gonna do a little mini storyline here. Let's do it.

[Charlie Barrons]

I've never played Dungeons and Dragons before.

[Miles]

I think we need to pick a character first.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay, you give me my character.

[Miles]

No, you pick your own character.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. I am the castle snowman. I am here in the winter and I guard the castle.

[Miles]

Okay. I am the king of the castle. Sir Mars of cheese.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, Jay.

[Jared]

See, while you're. Let's see, you're guarding the castle. So you'll see off in the distance, a white eyed thing flying through the sky. You're not quite sure what it is.

[Charlie Barrons]

What do you say, King? I see an RV dragon coming on.

[Miles]

What is that, peasant? What did you say?

[Charlie Barrons]

I see it. Do not call me peasant. I am the guard snowman. You call me peasant, I will sleep slice your throat.

[Miles]

I will have your hand for talking to me like that.

[Charlie Barrons]

You could not have my hand. It would be just water.

[Miles]

Keep it up or I'll have your pecker.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, I see your crown. And I now have a crown too.

[Miles]

Take that off your heads.

[Charlie Barrons]

I will not take it off my head. We have bigger fish to fry. There is an dragon RV coming our way. Halt. Who goes there?

[Jared]

So as the dragon flies over the top of you and hears you arguing, you hear him chuckle and say, my business is done and starts to fly away.

[Charlie Barrons]

It is a not an rv. It is not an RV dragon. It is a drone dragon. We must shoot at it.

[Miles]

No, we can't shoot it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Get me the royal cabin.

[Miles]

That dragon army. Our dragon drone has good reason for flying above us. Let's let it be.

[Charlie Barrons]

Shut up. What are you, in the national defense?

[Miles]

I am your king.

[Charlie Barrons]

The snowballs are not going far enough.

[Miles]

Oh, wait, you hit him. Actually, that was a pretty good idea. So. Yeah, nice work. Yeah, it turns around.

[Jared]

It turns around and icicles comes out of its Mouth and starts pelting you.

[Charlie Barrons]

Ah, no. I don't get paid enough for this retreat. Retreat?

[Miles]

I don't know if Charlie and I are built for Dungeons and Dragons. We like to fill in too many details. It would take us a lifetime to get through one storyline.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's not true, Miles. That's all part of the fun. You ruined it too. I was just feeling it. You. You totally. You left me white balled. Frosty is a blue ball joke, right? There it is.

[Miles]

So you're saying blame the other players. Yeah, I didn't. I don't think.

[Jared]

No, Charlie did. He's blaming you.

[Miles]

I know. And also, quite literally, I would have you beheaded if I was the king. You started talking to me like that, like you're done.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I don't know if you know this, but I can get another head as soon as another kid comes playing in the yard.

[Jared]

Just put it back on.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I can roll my own head, dumbass.

[Miles]

All right, well, Jay, this is good talking to you. Fun playing dnd with you, and stay safe out there on the road.

[Jared]

Will do.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, Jay. Hey.

[Jared]

Oh, wait. I supposed to say something here. Tell your parents I said hi.

[Andre]

Damn it.

[Jared]

Watch out for deer. Wait, which one is it?

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Hang on, Jay. I'll give you one more. Keep her moving out there, all right?

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, I could do that one.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, There you go.

[Andre]

There we go.

[Jared]

Keep her moving.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, buddy. Good talking to you, my guy.

[Jared]

Alrighty, we'll talk to you later.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, See ya. That's fun. First dnd on the old EP here.

[Miles]

Miles, you kind of. What would you call it? Bum rush the board a little bit.

[Charlie Barrons]

Why?

[Miles]

You didn't let the other players play. So I don't know if I want you in my DND group anymore.

[Charlie Barrons]

Like I said, it was my first time.

[Miles]

It could tell.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, and also, what do you mean I bum rush the board? I was letting you play.

[Miles]

You started mouthing off to the king of the castle.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, you were talking. You think I'm going to sit here and take it?

[Miles]

If I would have known you're talking about that and get away with that, I would chose a better character than the king of the castle.

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, the king has a crossbow, so you could just start shooting arrows at me. But you didn't, did you? Because you didn't think of it. I will not be talked to that way. I'm not a peasant. I told you I was the guard. Well, Miles.

[Miles]

Is that another episode of the Bellied up podcast? Charlie.

[Charlie Barrons]

All right, folks, remember, tip your bartender.

[Miles]

See you. Next one.