Why Does Everyone Hate Ohio? #125

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast: "Why Does Everyone Hate Ohio?" Episode #125 Summary

Release Date: November 7, 2024

In episode #125 of the Bellied Up podcast, hosts Charlie Berens and Myles "You Betcha" Miles dive into the pervasive Midwest jest of disliking Ohio. Through a blend of personal anecdotes, humorous banter, and engaging listener interactions, they explore the roots of this regional ribbing while celebrating Ohio's unique attributes.

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1. Introduction of the Voicemail Feature

At [00:00], Miles announced a new voicemail line for listener calls:

Miles: "We now have a voicemail line... listen to the voicemails, then line up calls with the ones that we love."

This addition aims to streamline audience interaction, ensuring more voices are heard and featured on the show.

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2. Personal Anecdotes and Frustrations

Early in the episode, the hosts share personal stories about losing items:

Charlie: "I have prescription sunglasses, and I haven't been able to find them for... seven months now... I've continued to buy cheapo pairs."

Miles: "I do that with sunglasses all the time... you're gonna bring it back to me."

Their camaraderie highlights common frustrations with losing possessions and the hopeful belief that lost items will miraculously return.

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3. Toxic Positivity in Golf

At [02:01], Charlie expresses irritation with overly positive golf enthusiasts:

Charlie: "I don't like the toxic positive golfers. I don't like you. I know what you're doing."

Miles: "The timing, I think, is the issue."

The discussion evolves into a playful critique of individuals who offer unsolicited praise immediately after a poor performance, leading to a deeper conversation about social dynamics in sports.

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4. The "Testicle" Golf Ball Company Joke

Midway through, the hosts brainstorm a fictional golf ball company:

Miles: "We make the balls tan or a tanned Version. And we call them testicles."

Charlie: "No, they come in sets of two... a black cow... we just can't call it coke float because of the '80s."

This segment showcases their trademark humor, blending absurd business ideas with wordplay.

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5. Listener Call #1: Ava on Overly Talkative Fiancé

At [11:10], listener Ava shares her dilemma about her fiancé Greg's incessant chatter during flights:

Ava: "When my fiancé gets on an airline, he starts talking and talking... I just like, okay, am I just mean or is he just..."

Charlie: "So that would drive me nuts."

The hosts empathize with Ava, delving into Greg's "golden retriever" personality—friendly yet sometimes overwhelming. They discuss balancing social dynamics within relationships, offering lighthearted advice and relatable insights.

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6. Listener Call #2: Max on Ohio Hatred

At [21:07], Max (Nate Tokarski) questions why Ohio is often the target of Midwest jokes:

Max: "What's all the slack that Ohio is getting lately? Seems like all you Midwesterners and everybody hates Ohio."

Charlie: "I think Ohio's a very respectable state. I do."

The ensuing debate becomes a humorous tug-of-war, with Charlie defending Ohio's merits—such as producing multiple U.S. presidents and housing Cedar Point amusement park—against the hosts' playful jabs about Ohio's stereotypes, like oversized cornfields and Lake Erie. Notable exchanges include:

Miles: "They think that they're better than the rest of the Midwest."

Charlie: "They have the rock and roll hall of fame there."

The conversation highlights the exaggerated rivalry between neighboring states, balancing mock criticism with genuine appreciation.

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7. Listener Call #3: Ava from Spain on Reconnecting with an Old Acquaintance

At [39:02], Ava reaches out from Spain for advice on rekindling a relationship with a girl she met in eighth grade:

Ava: "I met a girl a couple years ago, back in eighth grade... she's going to be doing a semester over here... I just don't want to, like, try and then if it doesn't work out..."

Charlie: "You just gotta go out there."

The hosts encourage Ava to take the leap, emphasizing the importance of living in the moment and not fearing potential rejection. Their supportive yet comedic guidance aims to empower listeners facing similar situations.

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8. Fan Mail and Final Thoughts

Towards the episode's end, Charlie and Miles address fan mail, offering humorous solutions and shoutouts:

Myles: "There's one common thing, Charlie. I think that will bring a family together."

Charlie: "Tippy Cow, folks. That's the way to unite your family this holiday season."

They also discuss potential future adventures, like touring Europe with the podcast, blending their signature humor with genuine enthusiasm for connecting with listeners.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Miles [00:00]: "We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time... enjoy the episode."

• Charlie [02:30]: "I just have a last pair of binoculars right now that I'm hoping that."

• Miles [15:12]: "A good relationship's always got one person that will talk in social situations and the other person who just sits back and lets them do all the talking."

• Charlie [25:35]: "Give us some more evidence, Nate. Give us some more evidence."

• Miles [37:10]: "It's Tippy Cow."

• Charlie [47:10]: "You can visit the place they faked the moon landing."

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Conclusion

Episode #125 of Bellied Up masterfully intertwines relatable personal stories, humorous banter, and engaging listener interactions to explore the lighthearted contention surrounding Ohio's reputation. Through their authentic chemistry and comedic prowess, Charlie Berens and Myles Miles create an entertaining and insightful conversation that resonates with both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Miles]

Guys, we got big news in the Bellied up world. We now have a voicemail line. We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time. We hear you. That stinks. So by including the voicemail line, it will allow everyone to get a chance to have their topic heard. We'll listen to the voicemails, then line up calls with the ones that we love. This means the more interesting your topic and the more energy that you bring increases your chances of being featured on the show. So if you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095. You can call in 24. 7. And again, the number is 218-303-5095. If you forget the number, it's in the description of the podcast, so don't worry. Cheers. Enjoy the episode.

[Charlie Barons]

Welcome to the Bellied up podcast. I'm your host, Charlie Barons. I'm here with Miles. You betcha, guy.

[Miles]

How are you doing, Charlie?

[Charlie Barons]

Miles? I'm doing great. How are you doing today?

[Miles]

I'm doing good. We're hanging out at the two Stooges Pool hall bar and Grill here in Fridley, Minnesota. Feeling good, Good vibes. People are slamming balls together behind us. You know, they're hitting balls, balls.

[Charlie Barons]

And they're on the TV hitting balls, playing golf. Oh, speaking which, I got to tell you this. So I went out golfing the other day.

[Miles]

Good for you.

[Charlie Barons]

One of one. I thought it was the only time I got gone golfing this year. But when I was golfing, I reached into one of the compartments, I found my credit card, and I was like.

[Miles]

Oh, in your bag.

[Charlie Barons]

In my bag. And so I must have gone golfing another time this year, and I can't remember it at all.

[Miles]

Oh, it was. Was it still good, or did you cancel it because you lost it?

[Charlie Barons]

No, I. I said, it'll show up, and it showed up, but I can't remember. I don't think I golfed. So now I'm trying to remember how long ago did I lose this card? And it's. It's just amazing. Anyway, the reason I bring up golf, that was a side note. This is. This is the thing that really grinds.

[Miles]

My gears before you move on. Like, yeah, the idea that I'm that way, too. I will lose something, and I don't stress about it because I'm like, the world's just gonna bring it back to me.

[Charlie Barons]

It'll show up.

[Miles]

Sunglasses, dude. I do that with sunglasses all the time, you know, that's why I Got like, four pairs. I know I'm gonna have at least one or two. That's like lost air quotes for a while. And then I just know it'll come back to me. And then all of a sudden, I'll get a text, a photo of them, be like, are these yours?

[Charlie Barons]

Yes, indeed.

[Miles]

Yes, they are.

[Charlie Barons]

I'm really glad you brought up this example of sunglasses. You see, I have prescription glasses, right? I have a pair of prescription sunglasses, and I haven't been able to find them for. Gotta be going on seven months now, and I have not purchased a new pair of prescription sunglasses because I'm a cheap bastard. And I'm like, no, I'm gonna. These are gonna show up. But in the meantime, I've continued to have to buy cheapo pa. And I must now have spent enough money on cheapo pairs because they break, I lose them. I don't pay attention to those at all. And it's not like I lose my glasses all the time. I had those prescription sunglasses for two years. Two years.

[Miles]

That's a long time.

[Charlie Barons]

So I'm still hoping they come back to me. I also have a last pair of binoculars right now that I'm hoping that.

[Miles]

One might be tougher because that might be in the woods somewhere.

[Charlie Barons]

I hope not. They were my favorite pair of binocs.

[Miles]

Is that the one with the camera on it?

[Charlie Barons]

No, I don't even. It was. I got mis. Turned around on the camera thing. The camera didn't work as advertised.

[Ava]

Okay.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. It was just more of a stabilization method that I thought was a camera.

[Miles]

Gotcha. So you were out there trying to take photos. Ah, got that. And then you got back to your apartment. We're like, I didn't get a single photo.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, actually, now that I say that, I. Anyways, I'm confused on what I remember about happening with that, because there was a little card situation, but I can't get to work. Maybe I just don't know how to do it.

[Miles]

Yeah, we'll have Jake look at it. He's kind of a tech guy.

[Charlie Barons]

That sounds good.

[Miles]

Start turning your dad that way.

[Charlie Barons]

But I like that. I like when you lose things like that.

[Miles]

What were you gonna say about golf?

[Charlie Barons]

I don't like the toxic positive golfers. I don't like you. I know what you're doing.

[Miles]

Give me an example. All right, so I'm. I'm. I'm on the tee box. Here we go. I shanked it to the right.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, well, you know, I'll tell you what, your form looked good. You know, for the most part, it looked awesome. You're gonna get it on this next go round. You are.

[Miles]

Kind of like a slight little dig with the compliment. It's kind of a backhanded compliment, really. Hey, your backswing looked good on that.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. Oh, you really got a hold of.

[Miles]

That one, you know, goes 90 yards to the right.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, that. That happened to me, and I got it. Let me just give you a little backstory. I don't care that I'm bad golf. I know I'm bad at golf, and. But I just. I get. There's this one guy. It's not in every golf round, but in the golf round, he's there. He's just saying. He's just given you really positive feedback, and you just. You. You know what he's doing.

[Miles]

What's he doing?

[Charlie Barons]

I'm losing steam on this. Let me take it back. Let me take it back. Do you know the kind of guy I'm doing? That kind of guy. I'm. I'm talking about here?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barons]

You know the kind of guy I'm talking about?

[Miles]

Yeah. You know, you. You hit a putt way short, but you. He goes, hey, that was the right line.

[Charlie Barons]

Yes. Yes, exactly. That. That's the kind of thing. I just grinds my gears, dude. I don't know why. Because honestly, now I think I'm losing steam on it, because now that I'm explaining it, I'm. I'm saying, you know, that's just a nice Midwest guy.

[Miles]

You know, there is a fine line between Midwest nice and toxic positivity.

[Charlie Barons]

Is there, though?

[Miles]

I think it's mostly like, you can be Midwest nice, but it's. Read the room. It's when they usually do it immediately after you get pissed, Right? So you're on the tee box, you hit it. He says the comment makes you more mad. But if he had waited till you guys got in the cart, were driving down the fairway or the woods, in your case, and then he said, hey, hey, your swing looked good there. You'd be like, yeah, yeah, it was pretty good.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The timing, I think, is the issue. Charlie.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. There's not an easy way to give someone golf advice. First of all, I'll take golf advice, because I don't. I'll listen to it. I don't know that I always employ it, but. But, yeah, if you can.

[Miles]

It's like, you can wait.

[Charlie Barons]

Give it that beat.

[Miles]

Yep. Give it two minutes. Give it that beat, and then approach it in a soft way instead of being too positive, you know?

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. You know, also, people say, you know, you'd be really good if you practice.

[Miles]

I'm like, I think I've said that to you before.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, but you're not the only one. Like, my uncle said it to me, my dad.

[Miles]

You kind of have a natural swing.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Imagine how good you'd be if you practice.

[Charlie Barons]

Imagine how good you'd be if you put some effort into this. It's like, I don't know if you can tell I'm not out here by choice right now.

[Miles]

I was staying in Fargo, and I showed up and thought we were gonna do something fun. And Miles said, we're going golfing, and.

[Charlie Barons]

He won't even let me play with the flag. Do you remember when we were trying to get the semi to honk on the course and you started berating us?

[Miles]

I did not berate you. I was like, come on, guys.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, exactly.

[Miles]

Come on.

[Charlie Barons]

You did. You did, like, the uncool uncle thing.

[Miles]

I was. I will. I will agree. And I'm glad, actually, you called me out. That's. This is what it's all about. Having a buddy that's afraid. Not afraid to call you out. Because I will have to say, I realized that I was taking it a little too seriously that day.

[Charlie Barons]

A little too far.

[Miles]

And nothing's worse than realizing you're one of those hardos. And I've. I've tried to tone it back now, Toned it back. So we should go golfing again.

[Charlie Barons]

We'll go golfing.

[Miles]

I'll let you go two wheels down the. The fairway on a cart if you want. Just ripping back and forth. I'll let you run across the green.

[Charlie Barons]

Thank you.

[Miles]

I'll let you lay down and pretend like you got your pecker in the hole. I don't care. Do whatever you want.

[Charlie Barons]

I've never done that before. It sounds like a really good time.

[Miles]

Hey, guys, where'd the hole go? Or, hey, guys, look, I'm the flag. And then you're going like this.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, yeah, that's funny. All right, guys, there's two balls in the hole.

[Miles]

Yeah, do that while you're. Someone's looking for your ball, and then you're just laying over the hole. Guys, look, I found two balls in the hole. Are you playing a testicle four? I mean, a Titleist four.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, Miles, there's no greater sound than the sound of your wheezing after your own ball joke.

[Miles]

That's what we should do, Charlie. We should start a golf ball company.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We make the balls tan.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Or a tanned Version. And we call them testicles.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Miles]

And it's in the Titleist font. You know, that's.

[Charlie Barons]

You know what, Miles? Hey.

[Miles]

Because I've seen, you know, like, the really cool guys that got a souped up car, and in the back, they have the thing. Instead of. Instead of saying Titleist, says titties. You see that?

[Charlie Barons]

No, I haven't seen that.

[Miles]

Same church, different people.

[Charlie Barons]

Okay.

[Miles]

But even better.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. You know, there's a market. You know, there's a market for it.

[Miles]

And we could have different skin tone ones, too.

[Charlie Barons]

Exactly. No, I mean, racially. Can be very cool with this company. Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, then everyone can enjoy a good testicle joke. What do you plan on playing? Testicle 4?

[Charlie Barons]

I think you should invest a lot.

[Miles]

There's a couple hairs on it. Yeah. You know, people, like, draw, like, the black lines on them. You just. Theirs are just all curly. Yeah. Like, because balls will now come with a predetermined line printed on them. You just make that. That line squiggly. Great. A great business idea.

[Charlie Barons]

I think the more you go down this road, Miles, the more you're actually gonna do it. You know, the more you talk about.

[Miles]

And we just sell them in sets of two.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. Okay. We. We gotta start this episode before we just turn the rest of this into this business.

[Miles]

Well, it's Musky Tank.

[Charlie Barons]

What are you going to. So obviously, packs of two. Are you. Are they going to come in a sleeve or a sack of some sort? A little felt sack. And do they come with, like, maybe a roll of teas attached to the sack?

[Miles]

Yeah, just a really long. Well, long te. About like 3 inches long. Super large te. Yeah.

[Charlie Barons]

This as big as it gets. Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, should we take some callers?

[Charlie Barons]

Charlie, I think your mom's going to like this episode. Yeah, let's do it.

[Miles]

Welcome to the Bellied Up Podcast. Who do we got on the line? And what do you want to get off your chest today?

[Nate Tokarski]

I said my name is Ava.

[Miles]

Your name is Ava? Is that what you said?

[Nate Tokarski]

Yes, sir.

[Miles]

All right, Ava, we're wondering what you want to get off your chest today.

[Nate Tokarski]

So what I want to talk about today, when you guys go on airlines, most people, they get on, they sit down, they put their headphones in, and they ignore everybody, right?

[Charlie Barons]

Yep.

[Nate Tokarski]

When I get on an airline, that's what I do. But when my fiance gets on an airline, he sits there and he started. He just starts talking and talking to the person next to him, and it's like we figured out their entire life story. They know our whole life story. And I just like, okay, am I just mean or is he just.

[Miles]

So your. Your fiance is what, he's talking to people on the airplane and you think he shouldn't be?

[Nate Tokarski]

Yeah. No, I mean, come on. Most people, they get on and they want to just travel to their destination, and nobody likes traveling. And he's just like, hey, what's up? I'm Greg and I'm gonna tell you everything.

[Charlie Barons]

You gotta kind of admire that and at the same time, hope you're not sitting next to him, you know? But are you, like, seething? Are you, like, up to rows? First of all, I find this interesting. Why aren't you guys sitting next to each other?

[Nate Tokarski]

So sometimes we're cheap and we don't sit next to each other, but other times we've had it where again? You know, Midwest. Nice, Greg. He gets on the plane and somebody is sitting in his seat and he's like, oh, I'll just. And I'm like, okay, bye.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I like Greg. I like Greg. Unless I'm on a flight and I'm a little hungover, then I absolutely hate Greg. Greg sounds like what we would call in the fiance community a golden golden retriever. Would you agree that he's got that personality?

[Nate Tokarski]

I would say he is. Oh, what is the word for it? A cautious golden retriever.

[Miles]

A cautious one.

[Nate Tokarski]

A cautious one. So he was raised in a small town, but he has no small town qualities. He doesn't trust anybody. But when he gets, like, in social situations, he's Gabby Cathy.

[Miles]

Okay, so he's using this as somewhat of a defense mechanism. He's got to feel everyone out because he doesn't trust anyone.

[Nate Tokarski]

Exactly.

[Miles]

So what's so wrong with Greg chatting people up? Why don't you like it?

[Nate Tokarski]

Well, so if he's doing it on his own, he's in the back doing it on his own, that's fine. But when I'm involved, then I have to start talking. I have to contribute to the conversation. I've had it where I was sitting up front. I was sitting up front, he came up to me, he's like, hey, there's a spot back there. Why don't you come back? And I'm like, oh, no, I know. You've been talking this whole time. Now I have to introduce myself. And this person already knows me because he said so much about it. And I'm like, hello.

[Charlie Barons]

So that would drive me nuts.

[Miles]

You're not to the point, though, where you're rethinking this Whole marriage thing. Are you.

[Nate Tokarski]

No, no, no, no. If I. I can't leave that golden retriever. No way.

[Miles]

Oh, I love that.

[Charlie Barons]

It's very cute.

[Miles]

So you also gotta. Hey, you don't like it on airplanes, but I'm guessing when you're not having a great day and you're at a social gathering, I'm gonna bet that you kind of hover behind him and let him do all the talking. Am I correct?

[Nate Tokarski]

Absolutely. It's like you read me like a book. Yeah, no, he is. He's doing the chatty chat. Chat. I mean, if I didn't have an interesting job, I'd have nothing.

[Miles]

Like, a good relationship's always got one person that will talk in social situations and the other person who just sits back and lets them do all the talking. I think that's a good relationship.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. What's the other side of it then? Like, how do you. This. Is there something you do to, like, balance that out? You know, like, if he's doing the talk and do you do the dishes? You know, if he's handling the small talk, that's a choreography. That's a chore. And I feel like you got to make them feel, you know, feel well. Well taken care of by that. So I feel like that's worth dishes. You do small talk at parties. You. He does small talk at parties.

[Nate Tokarski]

I got the dishes. I mean, that is a fair trade off, I think maybe, I don't know, dishes. We don't have a dishwasher, so that's. That's a little harder.

[Charlie Barons]

Okay, forget that. Let me ask you this.

[Nate Tokarski]

Everything by hand.

[Charlie Barons]

Have you ever heard someone get annoyed with him while he's. Talk to him on the plane?

[Miles]

That's what I would say.

[Nate Tokarski]

No.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, really?

[Miles]

Greg sounds awesome.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't know what's wrong with Greg. There's nothing wrong with Greg.

[Charlie Barons]

If Greg's going to force conversations on a bunch of people, you have a strong sample size of random folks that he's forced conversations on, and none of them have gotten, like, noticeably angry at him or annoyed? I'd say you struck gold with this cautious retriever.

[Miles]

Now, I have another question for you. Does he ever say anything inappropriate where you have to go and hit him on the arm and go, greg, Greg, come on.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Nate Tokarski]

No, he's way more of a golden retriever in that way. You know, he just has, like, the sweet, dull face that, you know, you just can't be mad at. I don't think. I don't think he. Yeah, our neighbor likes to Say he's never seen him mad until he tried fixing their break for them, and then he got. He got real cursey.

[Miles]

Yeah, there's nothing like a project that'll bring out the worst in a man.

[Charlie Barons]

Especially fixing breaks that he probably should have taken to the mechanic.

[Miles]

The only reason why I asked that, Charlie, is because that's how my relationship is. If I'm, you know, I tend to do the talking in a social situation between Anne and I, but then I usually go home with a bruise on my arm because I said something that I shouldn't have, and then I get a smack and go, miles.

[Charlie Barons]

What kind of stuff do you usually say that you shouldn't have said? Well, tell me.

[Miles]

I got a bruise to prove it. I don't need to talk about that.

[Charlie Barons]

You learned your lesson. That was a test, and you passed. Well, I, I. Oh, goodness.

[Nate Tokarski]

I was. I was waiting for him to fail that one. I was. I wanted to. Teeth.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, I can learn. Well, honestly, does Greg. Wait, where are you at? Does Greg want to swing by the bar? He sounds like a great hang.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, we love to chit chat with him. So tell. Tell him that we says hi and have them.

[Miles]

Where.

[Charlie Barons]

Where are we? We're in Two Stooges in pool hall. Tell him to come by, shoot some pool with us. How's that sound?

[Nate Tokarski]

I'll have to let him know. Yeah, he probably will be like, yeah, that sounds great.

[Miles]

And then maybe. And then maybe Charlie. And then maybe we could play fetch with him in the parking lot.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, yeah, I got a great tennis ball. That'd be awesome.

[Miles]

She's like, yeah. Now you think about. Now that you say it, he loves finding sticks. And he does in the garage, have a stockpile of tennis balls. It's really strange.

[Charlie Barons]

Reincarnated golden retriever. Some dogs go to heaven. Other dogs go into Greg's soul. Well, this was awesome. Thank you for calling in and giving us the insight on your. On your marriage. Sounds like you got a good thing going on there.

[Nate Tokarski]

Hey, you know what? You swung it positive. And maybe I'm just the grouch. So I'm just gonna have to embrace that golden retriever and my fiance, Greg.

[Miles]

Yeah, the little. The few times you're on a plane and he's, you know, that's a little bit annoying. Just think of all good times that Greg being the talker benefits you is what I would say.

[Charlie Barons]

Small price to pay for not having to say crap at a Christmas party.

[Nate Tokarski]

I'll have to take it.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Well, thanks for calling in Today. And tell Greg we says hi.

[Nate Tokarski]

Yeah, I will. You guys have a good one now.

[Charlie Barons]

You too. Bye. Bye.

[Max]

All right.

[Miles]

In a real sense, though, Charlie, chit chatting on airplane is the worst. What's your move? Cause I like to. If I clearly don't want to chitchat an airplane, I just do the. I take the earbud out and I hold it next to my ear to signal that I want to put it back in.

[Charlie Barons]

That's like the Midwest goodbye when you've got your hand on the doorknob and.

[Miles]

They'Re still not letting you go.

[Charlie Barons]

I'm just terrible about getting out of those situations. You can. You can hold me hostage the entire flight. I don't have many moves. Yeah, I mean, I try that one.

[Miles]

Next time I will just take it out and hold the earbud, and then you make you do your eyebrows up. I guess so.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, yeah, I like that.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. No, it's been going good. It's been going good. Yeah, I have a good one. And then you put it back in immediately. But if you take that earbud out or you put your earbuds back in, they're like, he's ready to chit chat with me all day.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, I usually pull them out and wait for them to stop talking and then put them back in.

[Miles]

Keep one in at all times.

[Charlie Barons]

I was about to go down rabbit hole on earbuds. Do you know if you have your earbuds up past, like, 75%, you're losing your hearing?

[Miles]

Yeah, they. On the iPhone, they, like, tell you when, like, you can go and see if you had it at a damaging level.

[Charlie Barons]

Because now the AirPods are becoming hearing aids, and I think that it's just, you know, smart. Smart for someone.

[Miles]

You can also set a limit on how loud your butt.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, you can. I didn't know that. That's a great feature.

[Miles]

Yeah. Check it out.

[Charlie Barons]

Cool.

[Miles]

Should we take another caller?

[Charlie Barons]

Let's do it. Welcome to the Bellied up podcast. Who are we talking to?

[Max]

Disney. Starsky.

[Charlie Barons]

Nate Starsky.

[Max]

Karski.

[Charlie Barons]

Karski. Karski. Makarski. I don't know if you're Polish. I don't know if you're Russian. I don't know if you're Irish yet. Okay, well, is there a mic in front of that?

[Miles]

Well, thank God that you're Polish. Charlie knows all about Poland.

[Charlie Barons]

I do know all about Poland. Hang on. Give me a second. No way.

[Max]

He knows about Poland.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

You ever been to Poland?

[Max]

Oh, yeah, I've been there twice.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, yeah. What part?

[Max]

Cacao.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, yeah, that's where they got a good Pierogies. Pierogies. That's sort of where they were invented. Right over there in Poland. Right over there in Krakow. Yeah.

[Miles]

What's cacao by Charlie, now that since you've been there so much?

[Charlie Barons]

Well, that's a really good question. If my freaking phone would update. Ah, I lost it. I blew the charade.

[Miles]

Exposed.

[Charlie Barons]

I blew the charade. I don't know Poland as well as I've claimed to in the past. Anyways, belly on up to the bar. What the hell is on your. What's your name again? Completely forgot. Nate. Nate. What was the last name again?

[Max]

Tokarski.

[Charlie Barons]

Tokarski. Nate Tokarski. All right, Nate. Nate Takarski. What's on your mind?

[Max]

What's all the slack that Ohio is getting lately? Seems like all you Midwesterners and everybody hates Ohio.

[Charlie Barons]

Well, everybody hates Ohio. I don't know. I think Ohio's a very respectable state. I do.

[Miles]

And why. Why is that, Charlie?

[Max]

All the time.

[Miles]

What about Ohio is respectable?

[Charlie Barons]

My girlfriend lives there. That's where she grew up. There would be upset if I trashed Ohio on this podcast.

[Max]

I don't know what you're talking about. You trash it all the time on this podcast.

[Charlie Barons]

I haven't said anything bad about Ohio. What was the last time? What did I say? Bad about Ohio?

[Max]

What's that about? Huh?

[Charlie Barons]

Nate, you can't. You can't make. You know, you can't just throw stones in this. What's the analogy I'm looking for? You can't stone an innocent man. Okay, what did I say about Ohio?

[Max]

I think it was like in one.

[Charlie Barons]

Of your earlier episodes, all right, When I was a younger, mocking Ohio. I must not have been dating my girlfriend at the time. But anyways. What? What? What?

[Max]

You're still divorced.

[Miles]

So what. What? What are you hearing? Why are people hating on Ohio? What are the number one thing that you're. You're seeing about Ohio? Why people hate it.

[Max]

Well, why are we the butt of all the Midwest jokes?

[Miles]

Because someone's got to be the butt of the joke. And we're not going to do our own states for that.

[Charlie Barons]

No, we're picking Ohio or Missouri. All right? That's just how it goes.

[Max]

Yeah, but why is that?

[Charlie Barons]

I mean, okay, Indiana. Well, I still don't think I ever said anything that bad about Ohio. Do you remember specifically what I said? And I can address it. Otherwise, I'm, you know, I'm. I'm being. What's that Called where you get tried for something you never done Double.

[Max]

It's like phoenicious.

[Charlie Barons]

What?

[Max]

Phoenicia.

[Miles]

Okay, yeah, but now that you are saying this, Mr. Kowalski, I am starting.

[Charlie Barons]

To think to Walski, there's a toe in it.

[Miles]

Yeah, there is a toe.

[Charlie Barons]

Let's just go with Nate. Yeah, I don't think that was right either.

[Miles]

Now that you're saying this, I don't necessarily know why I like to give Ohio crap. I think it's kind of a mob mentality, Charlie. I see a lot of other people ragging on Ohio, and so I feel like it's like, you know, your buddy just throw an extra punch on top. And I'm trying to think of a reason. You have a specific reason?

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, I. For what am I even thinking? Ohio State sucks, dude. The Buckeyes. Come on. I went to Wisconsin. All right? A big rival is the Buckeyes. That's what you're talking about.

[Max]

Okay, but that's even big about Wisconsin football team. Okay, you football team sucks.

[Miles]

There we go. That's why we ate Ohio. They're smug.

[Charlie Barons]

That is.

[Miles]

They think that they're better than the rest of the Midwest.

[Charlie Barons]

You guys are nuts. Are nuts.

[Miles]

Get a saddle because you're on your high horse.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, step off. My guys. Step off. You know, you. It's that arrogant attitude. You know, I mean, we just have.

[Max]

Things that are better than you guys. All it is.

[Charlie Barons]

Well, okay, I will say there are.

[Max]

Some better bars in. In, like, Milwaukee area, though.

[Charlie Barons]

You bet your s. There are. You bet your src. Now you're ragging on Ohio.

[Max]

Look, I have the really good. What's it. The one Cow beer. What's it called?

[Charlie Barons]

Spy Cow is what it's called. Miles hates it.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, we don't talk about that.

[Max]

He hates it. Well, have you ever mixed it?

[Miles]

Beer who should not be named is what I call it.

[Charlie Barons]

Miles has his own mix.

[Max]

It was Guinness. That was really good.

[Charlie Barons]

Mix it with Guinness. Like a car bomb. Can we say that? Spend enough time?

[Max]

No, they call it a black cow.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, it's called a black cow. I thought that was Coca Cola and ice cream.

[Miles]

We just call that a black and tan.

[Max]

Oh, I have no idea.

[Miles]

With a Guinness.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, it's a black. Black and tan. Black cow is different. That's a. That's a diet Coke with, you know, a little bit of vanilla ice cream there. Yeah, not to be mixed with a root beer float. Same thing. You just put Coke in there. Yeah, it's a Coke float. But we can't call it coke float because of the 80s, you know.

[Miles]

Well, let's hear this. Give me three reasons why Ohio is the best state in the Midwest.

[Max]

Oh, I mean, overall. I mean, first of all, it's got like. It's got all the. Have you seen the big teapots and all the biggest corn fields? Have you seen those big. All the cool Midwest biggest things.

[Charlie Barons]

Biggest corn. Have you been to Iowa? The entire states.

[Max]

Not biggest state wise. It's got a field of statue of corn, and the corn is like five feet tall.

[Miles]

Oh, like the big. The world's largest statue of corn. Dude, the entire Midwest has got. World's largest. You go down Highway 34 in Minnesota, you're going to hit about six or seven in an hour and a half timeline.

[Charlie Barons]

And I hate to say it, but if you go to I think, cornfield.

[Miles]

Do we have a cornfield?

[Max]

Yeah, a statue of corn. Okay, well, I haven't seen your statues of corn.

[Charlie Barons]

Well, if you look up, I think it's either Rochester, Minnesota or Mankato, Minnesota. They got a water tower where that's a corn on the cob. Yeah. I mean, this thing is way bigger than five feet and it holds water. So I hate to say it, Your argument currently is not holding water.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. This thing is way bigger than whatever you're talking about.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The air corn.

[Charlie Barons]

Where is it? It's in Rochester. Look up The Rochester.

[Miles]

It's 151ft tall. And he said it was 5ft tall.

[Charlie Barons]

Geez.

[Miles]

Classic Ohio.

[Charlie Barons]

Give us some more evidence, Nate. Give us some more evidence.

[Max]

I mean, we're also. We also have all like about like 10 presidents came from our state. So we're getting some representation for the Midwest.

[Charlie Barons]

Good presidency, you get good presidents.

[Max]

And I mean, we also have the biggest amusement park, but that's not really right past that.

[Miles]

He doesn't know any of the presidents, that's why.

[Max]

Oh, no, I don't know. There's like two. I know.

[Charlie Barons]

What's your amusement park?

[Max]

We got Cedar Point.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cedar Point. Yeah.

[Max]

The biggest one in the world.

[Charlie Barons]

Well, that's. That's impressive. We'll give you that.

[Miles]

We'll give them that.

[Max]

Not really Midwest, though. That's just cool.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. We'll give you one for two so far. What's the other reason why Ohio is the best state in the Midwest?

[Max]

I mean, because we also got the islands right above Ohio that like. It's kind of like laking, but like, the lakes are. The island are literally just drinking houses.

[Charlie Barons]

What Island's just above. Oh, in Lake Michigan.

[Max]

No, I think Lake Erie. Like Erie.

[Charlie Barons]

I'm sorry, Lake Erie. Lake Erie. I forget. Forget my. Great.

[Miles]

Why would you. Everyone that says you go swimming in Lake Erie is an absolute disaster. Why would I want to be going, as you would say, laking in Lake Erie?

[Charlie Barons]

They've cleaned it up.

[Max]

No, no, they have a boat that goes to the island.

[Charlie Barons]

Okay. And that island is part of Ohio, right?

[Nate Tokarski]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barons]

Okay.

[Max]

Put in bay and.

[Miles]

But also not a great talking point because Iowa's got an island. I've been on an island in Iowa, if you can believe that. Charlie.

[Charlie Barons]

I didn't know that.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, right on the border.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh yeah, right on the Ole Miss. I know that island. Okay, so there's cool islands at the tip top of Iowa on Lake Erie. Got that. Yeah.

[Max]

And I'll say the lakes are. I mean, the islands are also like small town island. You get more small town bar feel on the whole island.

[Miles]

Got it. So you have to leave the mainland to get anything Midwest in Ohio, Charlie.

[Charlie Barons]

No, now, Miles, there is a lot of midwest stuff in Ohio. I'm here.

[Max]

I'll say like small town bars in Ohio.

[Charlie Barons]

You gotta, you gotta, you gotta bring the heat here. Okay? I can do a better job than you're doing right now. I mean, you got Cleveland, you've got Lebron James came from Ohio. Okay. You've got the rock and roll hall of fame there. Okay. The Buckeyes. As much as I hate to say it, they are one of the best college football teams historically, historically speaking. But they have been going downhill and they will hopefully continue to go downhill. And the Badgers will beat them.

[Max]

But do we even play Wisconsin this year?

[Charlie Barons]

Don't talk about us like we're irrelevant to you. All right, all right. I just. Do you understand what words just came out of my mouth saying that, that you guys are one of the best? I can't even believe I said that. I kind of want to edit that part out of this. Thank you. But you know what else? What else? Yeah, you have Lake Erie. You have good fishing there. You know, you have a river that caugh fire at one point. You know, that's kind of cool.

[Max]

We got ice fishing in the ice Chanty fear.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh yeah, you guys have Ohio. Hudson, I think Ohio.

[Miles]

All right, there we go. That's what makes Ohio the best state in the Midwest is they have a prostitution ring at the ice shanties.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, yeah, apparently.

[Max]

What better than that? I. I don't fish and get prostitutes at the same time.

[Charlie Barons]

Well, that first of all, you can.

[Miles]

Jig two poles at.

[Charlie Barons]

Let me just throw it out there. I don't think there has actually ever been any proof that there was prostitution.

[Miles]

But it could lead to it, is what I think it was.

[Charlie Barons]

Well, I think that mayor resigned after that. I don't know. He didn't really stick with his guns.

[Miles]

No. I want to say there are some good folks in Ohio. We used to get our. We used to sell cornhole bags on the old website. They came from Ohio. They're good quality bags. Shout out to local bag company.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, I. I think the only time I ever dissed Ohio was because of the Buckeyes, which makes sense. Same way I did Chicago because of the Bears. I never, I never went down the hill. But I just don't think you're doing a good enough job defending Ohio. So I think you got to figure out how to defend it better and give us a call back.

[Miles]

Yeah, like ask me to defend North Dakota.

[Charlie Barons]

Charlie Miles. Defend North Dakota is the best state in the Midwest.

[Miles]

We have a hill with the capitol on it.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, that helped.

[Miles]

We also have like, I think like 15 interpretive centers.

[Charlie Barons]

I love an interpretive center.

[Miles]

And in the winter, it's not even interpret.

[Charlie Barons]

Don't ask follow up questions.

[Miles]

Hey, you add your time and in the winter it's kind of out of earth experience like you said, Charlie. And it snows. It feels like you're on the moon.

[Charlie Barons]

Yep.

[Miles]

You know, it's an out of this world experience.

[Charlie Barons]

You can visit the place they faked the moon landing.

[Max]

The moon landing?

[Miles]

Yeah, that's where they filmed it, North Dakota.

[Charlie Barons]

You see that? I want that kind of enthusiasm the next time you call in to defend Ohio. Because you can't leave that up to me. I don't have the heart for it.

[Max]

Well, I was in the heart of the whole US.

[Charlie Barons]

I do actually think you really dis it too much. Is it the center? Is Ohio the center?

[Max]

No. Well, it looks like a heart.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, it looks like a heart. If you're on psychedelics, maybe. Let me look at Ohio.

[Max]

Oh, I drink too much and I think it's solid.

[Miles]

Yeah, you make a good point. Well, you know, I think we got a lot done here today, Charlie.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, I think we did.

[Miles]

And honestly, I haven't had a good argument in a while, so that felt good.

[Charlie Barons]

And it does not look like a heart at all, does it?

[Max]

Not yet. You aren't drinking enough then.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Max]

What is like your first call if you're not seeing that as a heart?

[Charlie Barons]

Do we have first call energy right now. It was bad.

[Miles]

Well, man, we appreciate you calling in today. Hey, someone's got to defend Ohio. And you did that today how? Well, we don't know, but we'll let the listeners decide if Ohio.

[Charlie Barons]

The.

[Miles]

The.

[Charlie Barons]

The NFL hall of Fame.

[Miles]

I've been there before.

[Charlie Barons]

I've been there, too. You have so much homework to do. We'll let you get to that. And thank you for calling in.

[Max]

Yeah, thanks for calling back.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. Oh, you betcha.

[Miles]

Glad to talk to you. Have a good one, man. You, too.

[Charlie Barons]

Bye. Bye. Bye.

[Miles]

Well, I think we did. Did a good service there, Charlie.

[Charlie Barons]

I'm not sure what we were doing at first. We were, like, ready.

[Miles]

I was going to play nice until he. He said that. I don't even remember what the smug comment was.

[Charlie Barons]

A lot of smugness in there. And he didn't even have proof that. I had to think about why when I attacked Ohio.

[Miles]

You're really worried about that?

[Charlie Barons]

Well, I just. I forget.

[Miles]

Well, should we take another one?

[Charlie Barons]

Let's do it. Folks, we got some fan mail coming in.

[Miles]

Fan mail.

[Charlie Barons]

Fan mail. Here's the mail that never fails. When it comes, I want a whale. Hey, this is Mitch from St. Louis, Missouri. Thanksgiving is approaching, and that means my table will be full of relatives who make reality TV look like a documentary. I'm bracing myself for everything from conspiracy theories to passionate debates about the best way to cook a turkey. I want to keep the peace, but I'm not sure which topics are safe and which ones are like walking into a bear trap. Any advice on what to dive into and what to avoid so I don't end up with mashed potatoes in my hair? Okay, this guy's doing food fights.

[Miles]

Yeah, Mitch. Geez, your family is feisty, but there's one way. There's one common thing, Charlie. I think that will bring a family together.

[Charlie Barons]

What is it?

[Miles]

It's Tippy Cow.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, yeah. I was gonna say that. Now that you said it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barons]

Tippy Cow, folks. That's the way to unite your family this holiday season.

[Miles]

I would say, Charlie, a little pumpkin pie paired with a vanilla soft serve, Tippy Cow flavor. Don't even need the whipped cream at that point.

[Charlie Barons]

No.

[Miles]

Got it right here in a glass. So I'm gonna be having it at Thanksgiving. Are you.

[Charlie Barons]

Pie in a glass, Miles? Tip it on back. Tippy Cow.

[Max]

Move.

[Miles]

You ever been injured before?

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Have you ever felt like maybe the insurance company isn't on your side?

[Charlie Barons]

They're not on your side, Mom.

[Miles]

Well, guess who is.

[Charlie Barons]

Who?

[Miles]

Nicolay.

[Charlie Barons]

Law. Oh, our buddy Russell.

[Miles]

Those suckers are on your side. Suckers on your side.

[Charlie Barons]

I like suckers.

[Miles]

Me too. And guess what, Charlie, you ever played baseball before?

[Charlie Barons]

I play baseball, Miles.

[Miles]

Well, Nicolet Law is going to go to bat for you.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, I like that.

[Miles]

You want to make sure you get what you're owed. They got offices in North Dakota, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin. And they've got you covered.

[Charlie Barons]

That's cool. You know what, it's nice to know we know a guy who is going up to them insurance dudes and being like, you know what? Screw you.

[Miles]

Sticking it to the man.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, sticking it to the man is what it is.

[Miles]

And Charlie, you're kind of cheap, right?

[Charlie Barons]

Very.

[Miles]

Well, guess what? What if they don't win? You don't pay a penny.

[Charlie Barons]

That's no risk.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's kind of no risk.

[Charlie Barons]

All reward.

[Miles]

And so guys, if you are like Charlie and get injured a lot and you need help after your injury, call Nicolay Law 1-855- Nicolay or visit nicolelaw.com they're gonna fight for you.

[Charlie Barons]

They'll get you the money you deserve.

[Ava]

Hey, it's Max.

[Charlie Barons]

What's up, Max?

[Ava]

Hey, how you doing? I'm calling you from Spain today.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, como se dice? Bellied up in espanol, compadre.

[Ava]

Cerveza? I have no idea.

[Charlie Barons]

You sound like a real frigging tourist.

[Miles]

Isn't cerveza a beer?

[Ava]

Yeah, I've only been here for a year, so my sister could say it. Not me though.

[Miles]

Okay, Are you studying abroad?

[Charlie Barons]

A year? You should be able to say bellied up.

[Ava]

No? Well, so my dad's in the Air Force and so the whole family moved over. Me and my seven siblings and the parents.

[Miles]

You guys Catholic?

[Ava]

Yeah. Yes, sir.

[Miles]

Yeah, that adds up.

[Charlie Barons]

Where do you live In Spain.

[Ava]

Right. Pretty close to Gibraltar, so not too far from Africa. It's about drive to Asia.

[Miles]

You know where that is, Charlie? What else is right by there?

[Charlie Barons]

Are you over by Rhonda?

[Ava]

Yeah, pretty close actually.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, yeah, Malaga. It's up the coast a little way.

[Ava]

We were just there a couple months ago.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, yeah, Beautiful this time of year.

[Ava]

Yep.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, right over there on the Alberon Sea. This is gorgeous.

[Ava]

Yep.

[Charlie Barons]

Have you. Have you too far? Have you holidayed in Ibiza?

[Ava]

Not yet, but you know, I'll tell dad that's where we got to go next.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, tell your dad to go to Ibiza.

[Miles]

Wow, Charlie, you just know so much about Spain.

[Charlie Barons]

So much.

[Miles]

Believe it. Yeah, you're just a worldly guy.

[Charlie Barons]

Hey, Miles. Got a little fun fact for you. Did you know there's a Toledo in Spain?

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. Wow.

[Miles]

I did not know. How big is the Toledo in Spain, would you say?

[Charlie Barons]

Well, the Toledo in Spain, it's roughly one fourth of Madrid.

[Miles]

Okay, well, how big is Madrid?

[Charlie Barons]

It's about four Toledoes. Or as they say in Spain, Toledo. So see, belly on up here. What's on your mind about Espana?

[Ava]

Okay, well. So here's. Here's the situation. Here's. So I met a girl a couple years ago, back in eighth grade. Oh, the man to walk. I lived in Kansas City at the time, and so, you know, I kind of liked her at the time. And then a couple years go by, I see her on and off because she lives up near my grandparents, so. And then we go to events and stuff together. So, you know, she worked with friends, but I kind of thought that ship sailed. So I'm living in Spain. They got a lot of nice senoritas here. But I found out this friend, she's going to be doing a semester over here, about four hours away from me.

[Charlie Barons]

Where? Four hours. Like in Cordoba or in Murcia. Where?

[Ava]

Up north. I think it's the one that starts with a C. Cordoba?

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. Cordoba. Yeah.

[Miles]

You gotta ride right away. You know Spain.

[Charlie Barons]

I know Spain. It's not too far away. It's just about four hours away from Gibraltar. Gibraltar, which is beautiful place, right on the Albaron Sea, not too far from Africa. So.

[Miles]

So hold on. You said you met a gal a few years ago, eighth grade?

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. How old are you?

[Ava]

I'm about to turn 19 in December.

[Miles]

Oh.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, that's a couple, two, three years ago.

[Miles]

Yeah. I was wondering, so you met a girl in eighth grade. You said you lived in Manitowoc.

[Charlie Barons]

No, he lived in Kansas.

[Miles]

And Sheila's man to walk.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. And it's your.

[Miles]

How did you guys meet? You meet on like a youth group trip or what?

[Ava]

No. So in true Wisconsin fashion, I'm a German dancer, so.

[Charlie Barons]

So we went up to dance.

[Ava]

We went up there for one of the German. Yeah, they kind of can.

[Charlie Barons]

Nice.

[Ava]

Get enough beer in you and you can, you know.

[Charlie Barons]

I'm kidding. I've been to Oktoberfest. Germans can dance.

[Miles]

Speaking of Germany.

[Charlie Barons]

We'll save that. But I'll tell you all about the, you know.

[Ava]

Anyways, so, yeah, we met.

[Miles]

Continue on.

[Ava]

We met doing a German dance thing. And so, yeah, we just kind of kept in contact with that. I know a lot of the people she knows, so we'd run into each other Every once in a while.

[Charlie Barons]

Did you meet her as she was wearing lederhosen? Like, was it that kind of a thing? Oh, you were?

[Ava]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barons]

What was?

[Ava]

The big dress, but yeah.

[Charlie Barons]

The what dress?

[Miles]

The dress. They were dresses?

[Ava]

Yeah, yeah, the German ones. Yeah.

[Charlie Barons]

I thought he knew the name. All right.

[Ava]

I think it's called the Drindle, but if I say it wrong, someone's gonna slap me, so.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And so you're wondering if you should go see her, huh?

[Ava]

Well, yeah, she.

[Charlie Barons]

Because she.

[Ava]

She sent me a message and she was like, hey, I'm not gonna be too far from you. You know, we gotta totally visit each other. But it's. It's been. It's been a year since I've seen her and even like the last time I saw her, my sister thought she might have had a boyfriend. So I don't know. I gotta try to win her over or something.

[Charlie Barons]

Well, I got news for you. She's hitting you up to hang out. It's already a done deal. You guys, have you been friend zoned? Have you been like, going to her, like, fittings and telling her if she's got nice length on her drindle or whatever?

[Ava]

No, not. I don't think I've been friendzoned yet. She made the first move way back in like eighth grade. At least I think it was a move, but yeah.

[Miles]

So you guys have like, never actually dated? You guys have just flirted?

[Ava]

Yeah, kind of. She put her phone number out and playing cards and then she left. So.

[Charlie Barons]

Dude, you've had this.

[Ava]

She told me to call her.

[Charlie Barons]

You've had this unlock for. So what's. What is. Is she just like, available? And I feel like maybe you're not super into her. Are you? Are you into her?

[Ava]

Well, no, I am, but like. Well, back in eighth grade, I couldn't drive to Wisconsin myself and now I live in over here. It's hard, but. I don't know, I am. It's just. I don't know. See, I just don't want to, like, try and then if it doesn't work out, you know, then I'm.

[Miles]

I afraid of rejection and afraid of her leaving and him catching feelings is what it sounds like.

[Charlie Barons]

Charlie, are you just protecting your heart?

[Ava]

Yeah, because that's what happened with the last one, so it didn't really talk.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. Yeah. You're 19 years old, dude.

[Miles]

Every single relationship at your age ends that way.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, your relationship. Relationships are not going to work out till your brain is fully developed around the age of 26. And even then might end in divorce. So let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. What's the harm, really, in going up to Cordoba and saying you want to go for a little holiday over in Marbella?

[Ava]

I guess there's no harm, really.

[Charlie Barons]

No, there's.

[Miles]

We. I said this on earlier podcasts a few episodes ago, Charlie. This is a Greece situation. You just got to treat it like you guys are going to date for the summer.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

This is like, hey, whatever happens in Spain stays in Spain.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. Low. Lower the bar. Okay.

[Ava]

Okay. Yeah.

[Miles]

You're thinking way too much about the future. You got to live in the now.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah. And when is she coming over?

[Ava]

I think it's the second semester because she's. Yeah. Doing, like, college things, so probably January.

[Charlie Barons]

Great. Okay. Just so you know, when she gets over there, you're gonna have to. You're gonna have to compete with all. All the hot European guys there.

[Miles]

They wear tight pants over there.

[Charlie Barons]

They do. You can see their whole package. So you're gonna have to start learning Spanish now.

[Miles]

You have to learn Spanish. You're gonna have to get some tight pants, and you're gonna have to stuff those pants with some socks, because if I know anything about those Spaniards, they.

[Charlie Barons]

Are packing something in common with the bowl. Okay? So anyways. But I say give it a go.

[Miles]

Maybe even try like a Pringles can in the thigh of the pants.

[Charlie Barons]

Don't do that. Miles is over. Compensating here has never worked out for Miles. It's not gonna work out for you. Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah, don't do that. That was a joke. So I. I mean, it sounds like you guys have never even been romantic together, so you're a little nervous about that. That it's like you get to Spain and all of a sudden you're caught in a situation where, you know, you got to take your lay loader hosens off and your. Your German dancing dresses. Are you nervous about that?

[Ava]

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, I suppose. Yeah.

[Charlie Barons]

Miles, he's 19.

[Ava]

If it doesn't work out. If it don't work out, then, you know, if I stay in the German dance thing and she stays and we're gonna run into each other, which would.

[Charlie Barons]

Be unfortunate, but life is full of risk, my guy. You just gotta. You just gotta go out there.

[Miles]

And also, you just tried to shame me for bringing up Pinky.

[Charlie Barons]

Pinky not even married.

[Miles]

He's 19 years old. What were you thinking about it?

[Charlie Barons]

19 years old, summer loving, having some fun. They didn't fornicate in that show, did they?

[Miles]

In Greece, I think, at the end.

[Charlie Barons]

Anyways, doesn't matter. Bottom line is, give it a go. It's the gal next door to your grandparents. If it fails miserably, well, that's life. Who cares? You gave it a shot. You're going to regret not doing it sometime in the future.

[Miles]

And worst thing that happens, you got to give up German dancing. Just take up Spanish dancing.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Find a Marathi band.

[Charlie Barons]

Problem solved.

[Ava]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Give it a go. Give it a go. What's the worst that can happen?

[Ava]

I will. He says no, and I buy a beer.

[Charlie Barons]

There you go. All right, well, tell your dad we says hi and thanks for his service and hope you and the family can get up to Seville at some point. All right. And I will. Yeah. On your way to Seville, here's a tip. Stop in at Cadiz. Beautiful little town right on the coast there. And if you're asking what coast, Charlie, I'm talking about the coast just off the Horn of Africa. Have you seen Casablanca? That's not too far down there. So, great movie.

[Ava]

Our whole family is cruising over there this year.

[Charlie Barons]

Oh, Bougie, you guys got a. Yeah, you'll have some good time over there in the Atlantic Ocean. So, anyways, well, thanks for calling in, man.

[Miles]

Good luck, and have fun over there.

[Ava]

Hey, thank you very much.

[Miles]

Have a good one.

[Ava]

You do. Bye.

[Miles]

Well, Charlie, I think that's another good episode of the Bellied up podcast.

[Charlie Barons]

Another satisfied, senor.

[Miles]

We should do a tour in Europe. I think we could do Bellied up in. In different countries in the. In Europe. Be fun.

[Charlie Barons]

That would be a great time.

[Miles]

Plus, I've actually never been to Europe, really. And I really want to go.

[Charlie Barons]

Maybe you and I could go sometime together. I don't think Ann would mind.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't know what we're gonna do with our kid.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, bring him with.

[Miles]

Let's bring him.

[Charlie Barons]

He's got great hair.

[Miles]

We can wait a couple years, and then he can run around the bar.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, you could do that right now.

[Miles]

I've heard of bar dogs. I got a bar kit.

[Charlie Barons]

Yeah, I wonder if they allow that kind of thing in Europe.

[Miles]

Oh, I don't think there's rules in Europe, is there?

[Charlie Barons]

No, there's not.

[Miles]

They started drinking at, like, 13 over there.

[Charlie Barons]

Let's do that. Let's do a bar tour in Europe. I like it.

[Miles]

All right.

[Charlie Barons]

Locked and loaded.

[Miles]

Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. Make sure you tip your bartender, and we'll see you in the next one.