Wisconsin Trucker Hates Minnesota Drivers #176

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast #176: "Wisconsin Trucker Hates Minnesota Drivers"

Hosts: You Betcha Guy (Myles) & Charlie Berens
Date: November 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this classic, barstool banter-filled episode, Myles and Charlie belly up to their signature "bar" to welcome live Midwest callers for some hilarious and occasionally heartfelt conversations. The main theme centers around state rivalries—particularly Wisconsin annoyance with Minnesota and Illinois visitors—and the everyday quirks of Midwestern life (like different types of "waves," trucker etiquette, and even proper Midwest harassment etiquette). The episode features standout segments including a fiery Wisconsin trucker upset with Minnesota drivers, the perennial "FIB" (F***ing Illinois Bastard) debate, and a guest lawyer sharing the glamorous (and not so glamorous) side of billboards. Sprinkled in are classic jabs, playful bickering, and the warmth you’d expect from local legends “bellying up” together.

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Key Segments, Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Midwest Winter Prep & Bar Origins (00:00 – 07:00)

• Myles and Charlie open with some Midwest autumn chat, emphasizing lake house closings, antifreeze tips, and the importance of siding maintenance.
• The hosts reminisce about building their podcast bar—a project that was supposed to take 4 hours, but wound up taking practically all day:
  • “What’s very funny is…we just had to put six bolts in…would have been done in 15 minutes, but instead it took us like six, seven, eight hours.” – Myles [05:23]
• The fake bar’s humble (somewhat pathetic) origins set the laid-back, self-deprecating tone.

2. The Spectrum of Midwest “Waves” (06:36 – 13:00)

• The duo discusses the unwritten etiquette of vehicle and social “waves” across the Midwest.
  • "You got the car wave, which is like 11 o'clock to 1 o'clock… that’s after you just cut off someone." – Charlie [07:01]
  • "When I’m on a gravel road, I’m giving them the two finger wave." – Myles [07:15]
  • “These are beer fingers high, Miles, these are the fingers you use to open a beer top.” – Charlie [07:53]
• They riff on the “white person on a hike” head-nod, the defensive “dad chin up” greeting, and the perils of being around “huggers” (shout-out to gin martini drinkers).
• Memorable moment: The guys pantomime various waves, exaggerating each character’s Midwest-ness.

3. [Ad Read Skipped]

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4. Callers: "Wisconsin Trucker Hates Minnesota Drivers" (14:26 – 32:35)

Grady the Trucker Unleashes on Minnesotans

• Key complaint: Minnesota drivers are rude and inconsiderate in Wisconsin—destroying the “Minnesota Nice” myth.
  • “There’s just no decency on the road… there’s no Midwest nice from Minnesotans anymore.” – Grady [14:50]
• Deeper grievance: Minnesota cabin owners are buying up Wisconsin lakeshore, tearing down cabins, building “mansions,” and driving up property taxes.
  • “They’re driving the property taxes up… they’re tearing [cabins] down and building mansions.” – Grady [16:00]
  • "Who's more the number one fan on the Internet running his mouth about how great Wisconsin is? ...Charlie Berens, with all of his Wisconsin pride is making Wisconsin worse." – Myles [16:45]
• Wake boats also get singled out: “Wake boats are just tearing up the lake shores.” – Grady [17:56]
• Charlie and Myles riff on a “big, beautiful, cheesy wall” to keep the Minnesotans out, referencing Lambeau Leap as an entry requirement—“the only way you can get in is if you can get over the Lambeau Leap wall.” [20:51]
• Truck driver pet peeves: Cutting off trucks, not giving enough room, and “thumbs down” over the middle finger:
  • “If you’re just doing the ‘I’m disappointed in your driving?’ thumbs down, that means way more.” – Myles [22:26]
• Truck stop etiquette: New drivers are bad at backing up and need to practice more.
  • “Make sure you know how to back up and pull up straight…guys sit there for 15 minutes trying to do it.” – Grady [25:59]
• Most impressive backup? Grady details a dramatic, hilly reverse in Dodgeville, WI, with two dozers: “I threw the flashers on and let her rip…got her fast enough where they hit the Jake brakes going backwards.” [28:29]

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5. Guest Segment: Injury Lawyer Billboard Wars (32:35 – 39:02)

• Russell Nicolay chats about his idea of a “perfect day” and the competition for the best billboard spots.
• The hosts dish out (questionable) billboard ideas, poking fun at over-the-top legal advertising:
  • “I want to start putting up billboards for you on top of other people’s billboards…just says don't go with stupid, arrow down…” – Charlie [35:27]
• Russell reveals some billboards have caused state troopers to get calls, like one that appeared on fire.
• Location trumps content for billboard envy.

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6. Central Illinois Farmer: The "FIB" Debate (39:03 – 57:40)

• Jay from Illinois calls to argue that Wisconsin unfairly lumps all Illinoisans together as FIBs, when "it's really just Chicago people" who cause trouble up north.
  • “I think we can all agree that Chicago is the downfall of the state…it’s gotta be the Chicago folks…that give us good old boys a bad taste in your mouth.” – Jay [41:10]
• Charlie and Myles defend the tradition, arguing that Packers-Bears rivalry is the lifeblood of Wisconsin fandom.
  • “We need to call you guys FIBs; we need this rivalry…it's what fuels us.” – Charlie [43:30]
• Jay flips the script: “Why does Illinois have so much real estate in your guys’ brain?” – Jay [46:18]
• The conversation grows playful and personal: Jay once lived in Wisconsin as a dairy breeder; Charlie gets sidetracked into bull semen logistics.
• Memorable moment: The attempt to coin a derogatory Wisconsin acronym (“WAP”) falls apart spectacularly, leading to some of the episode's best self-mockery.
  • “Could you call us a WAP – Wisconsin Asshole Prick?” – Charlie [52:22]
• Jay’s closing message: Turnabout is fair play, and “really, the best we do is just make fun of Iowa.” [53:54]

7. Jay’s Family and NICU Story (55:25 – 56:38)

• Emotional tone shift as Jay reveals his son, a NICU survivor, encouraged him to call, capping the episode with Midwest warmth and connection.
  • “My son will just love that. Huge fan of you guys…and he’s a children’s hospital NICU unit survivor also…” – Jay [55:25]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We literally just had to put six bolts in and that would have been done in 15 minutes, but instead it took us…six, seven, eight hours.” – Myles [05:23]
• “When I’m on a gravel road, I’m giving them the two finger wave.” – Myles [07:15]
• “There’s no Midwest nice from Minnesotans anymore.” – Grady [14:50]
• “Wake boats are just tearing up the lake shores.” – Grady [17:56]
• “I wake up every morning, piss excellence. Just get out of the way.” – Grady’s closing PSA [29:52]
• “Honestly, I feel like a thumbs-down weirdly hurts more...it means way more.” – Myles [22:10]
• “The only way you can get in [to Wisconsin] is if you can get over the Lambeau Leap wall.” – Grady [20:51]
• “Location, location, location.” – Russell Nicolay [37:19]
• “We have to call you guys FIBs. We need this rivalry, okay? It’s what fuels us.” – Charlie [43:30]
• “Why does Illinois have so much real estate in your guys’ brain?” – Jay [46:18]
• “My son will just love that…he’s a children’s hospital NICU unit survivor also…” – Jay [55:25]

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Episode Highlights & Listener Notes

• Warm, Playful Midwest Rivalry: At its best, the episode is a perfect mix of ribbing, nostalgia, and compassionate teasing about what makes Midwesterners tick.
• Authentic Callers: Grady presents the archetypal Wisconsin trucker voice (gripes, pride, and dry wit), while Jay brings a thoughtful perspective from rural Illinois.
• Hosts' Chemistry: Myles and Charlie’s ballbusting is never mean-spirited; the show feels like eavesdropping on two old friends in a tavern.
• Self-Deprecating Humor: Whether failing to build a bar or an acronym, the guys always embrace their own flaws and foibles.
• Unexpected Heart: The return to Jay’s personal NICU story is a gentle reminder of the real lives behind the banter.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Midwest cabin & bar chat: 00:00 – 07:00
• Midwest “waves” bit: 06:36 – 13:00
• Grady the Wisconsin trucker call: 14:26 – 32:35
  • Grady's rant on MN drivers: starts at [14:35]
  • Lake property/MN cabin owners: [16:00]
  • Wake boat discussion: [17:56]
  • Truck stop etiquette and notable backup: [25:59] and [27:58]
• Injury lawyer billboard chat: 32:35 – 39:02
• Jay the Illinois farmer & “FIB” debate: 39:03 – 57:40
  • Bears-Packers rivalry discussion: [43:01]
  • Bulls and bull semen tangent: [47:14]
  • “WAP” nickname fail: [52:22]
  • Jay & NICU story: [55:25]

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For listeners:
This episode is a microcosm of Midwestern life—part loving roast, part genuine connection. If you love regional quirks, bar banter, and seeing rivals find common ground, you’ll feel right at home bellying up with Myles, Charlie, and their rotating cast of regular folks.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. I am bellied up with my buddy Charlie Barron's Charlie, how you doing?

[B]

Oh, Miles, I'm doing real good there. How are you there?

[A]

I'm doing good. We're bellied. We're bellied up to our boss.

[B]

Stay in character with me for a second, Miles. Oh, yeah, yeah. What's going on?

[A]

Oh, not much. I just. I've been raking some leaves. You know, I've been going out to the lake house just to close everything up for. Yeah, it's not. It's not one of those cabins you can keep open all year round.

[B]

Oh, who's got.

[A]

My friend?

[B]

Did you get that antifreeze in the toilet? Oh, yeah.

[A]

Antif toilet. The water lines, the whole thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Last thing I need is a burst pipe and a flooded floor out there.

[B]

Sure. Oh, no, you get. You get that going, and the worst part is you don't know it till the spring, and then you had a whole ice rink in there all winter.

[A]

And next thing you know, your whole summer shot because you got the repair guys in there cleaning up and fixing and.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the other thing, too, is you got to get out there and you got. You got to stain that sucker out there because you got that wood siding. You better stain it before the snow cakes now. Oh, yeah, yeah. Before the gets enough snow to cake. You better make sure you got that.

[A]

You know, I don't know if you know anything about how a house works, but I doubt if a burst. A pipe bursts inside, we're gonna have to do anything to the siding there.

[B]

Church. No, I'm just. It's a different issue, Al. Together, for God's sake. No, no, no, no. I'm not sorry. You kid me. I'm talking about if the pipe burst. We were done talking about that. What I'm talking about is what I told you last year and that said, I saw the sun beating down on the side of your house, and you got nothing protecting. And that's good wood, that's good cedar. Okay, you get out there and you knock that recently. Is there any rot on there?

[A]

Oh, no, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry.

[B]

Yeah. You know, don't get up here. Big dick at me, you know, I'm just trying to look out for your home, for crepe's sakes, you know?

[A]

Hey, why don't you watch your own home, will you?

[B]

Watch your own bobber? Where do you think I learned that from, huh? Try to Catch a bluegill with you, for God's sakes. You know, I'm pulling. I pulled out crappie the other day. Thing had shoulders. It's a linebacker. Should have seen it. Oh, my gosh. So anyway, should we.

[A]

So anyways, we're bellied up to our bar.

[B]

That was good, Miles. That got me going, man.

[A]

Bellied up to our bar.

[B]

Our bar. Mouse.

[A]

We, you know, it's built this. You know, we own a bar together. It's just not what you think, you know, it's just a, you know. What is this, a seven foot piece of wood? Yeah, six and a half.

[B]

Overestimating size for some reason.

[A]

God, this thing's like 12, 14ft long.

[B]

Did Miles, did you see this bar for scale? I sent you a bar for sale in Milwaukee saying that we should make ditch chicken here.

[A]

Charlie. Charlie sent me a Zillow link and he was like, we should buy this and make a bar. And I said, I don't think we should. I don't think one. I don't think I want to own a bar that's a nine hour drive away.

[B]

Well, you don't have to run it. I know.

[A]

I actually do. If you are in charge of running that bar, we have no shot. At least if I'm running it.

[B]

So true.

[A]

Minor shot of succeeding.

[B]

That's so true. Like, it would. Yeah. I'm not good with, like, responsibility in the long term, but I do like that we purchased this, Miles. I, you know, we got.

[A]

And for those we didn't purchase it.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And if we did purchase it, I would have purchased it.

[B]

True. Kind of like the bar I was hoping you would purchase.

[A]

Well, let's take a trip down memory lane, Charlie. Let's. So you and I decided we were going to do this podcast.

[B]

Yes, we did.

[A]

We said, hey, this be great. We can. It'd be bellied up. You know, we're gonna belly up to the bar. We're gonna have conversations that people have at the bar. You know, you belly up, you say, oh, my wife's been saying this, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The guy's like, oh, have you tried doing that? And that's where the premise of the show happened. Yeah.

[B]

And. And we. What we're really saying is, how can we do a podcast but add no more work to our schedule?

[A]

Correct.

[B]

And we're like, well, we'll just have people call in, they'll do all the work for us. And we were like, genius. But.

[A]

And we said, well, we need a bar to do this because, you know, it would be it would be bad to call it bellied up and just be sitting in a chair in a podcast studio.

[B]

Yeah, no one wants to do that.

[A]

So we said, why don't we build a bar? Why don't we do a little video about building a bar and we'll, we'll say we're going to try and build a bar in four hours. Remember that?

[B]

Yeah, that was quite the concept.

[A]

Eight hours later we got this bad.

[B]

Boy and it took us a whole three hours to come up with that four hour bar.

[A]

What's very funny is we didn't, I mean we never flipped it over like so all we had to do was take four by six bolts and bolt these legs to this top because the top's already done. It's a vintage.

[B]

Old.

[A]

Old. What is a workbench?

[B]

Yeah, I mean that's no vice right there.

[A]

And we didn't bother to flip it over. We thought we were gonna have to fashion these somehow ourselves and instead it were already pre screwed in from the people that we got it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We literally had to put we just six bolts in and, and that would have been done in 15 minutes, but instead it took us like six, seven, eight hours. We had another plan to build something.

[B]

We, we were, we were getting the things for the other plan and in the. All we had to do is just flip this bar top over and we would have been like, oh, wow.

[A]

Well, yeah. And my buddies that we got this from were kind of excited. They're like, wow, it's going to be featured in this. We love this bar top. We were going to do something with it, but maybe better hands in your guys hands. Then they were watched the video like, wow, these guys should not have this bar. First off, they're not. And secondly, we realized that we really liked going to actual bars and bellying up. And also, you don't live in Fargo, right? The box. We're not not hauling this thing to Milwaukee.

[B]

No. This was back in the day when we didn't really think things through.

[A]

Yeah. Now we do.

[B]

Well, you do, but. Which I'm happy for you that you've made that change in your life. But.

[A]

But it's good to, you know, be back at the bar, you know.

[B]

Yeah. It is nice. It's good wood. Good wood there. Miles.

[A]

Not going anywhere.

[B]

No, not at all. Oh, that's hard. Ah, love it. Miles. I was thinking, I was thinking the other day about like I was actually in a boat and I was doing a wave and I was doing this wave, you know? Yep. Like with the I was thinking about the different kinds of like waves that we do here in the Midwest. We're always waving like you got the car wave, you know, which is like, like 11 o' clock to 1 o'. Clock. 11 o' clock to 1 o''. Clock.

[A]

See I don't do that in the car.

[B]

What do you do?

[A]

I, I do the like one to two finger wave on the steering wheel.

[B]

I do that at the four way stop.

[A]

See, I do that. You know, this is, I'm on a gravel roll, I'm giving them the two finger wave.

[B]

Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. I'm sorry, I didn't clarify.

[A]

At the four way stop, my wave looks like this.

[B]

Okay, okay. So you see a four way stop. I'm doing this. Oh, I'm doing, I'm doing the little.

[A]

Two finger salute, Two finger sideways salute, vertical salute. On the, on the dirt road. Yeah.

[B]

Okay, well, dirt road. That wave is obviously this.

[A]

You know, when I'm on a boat, my wave is like this.

[B]

Okay. So you're going straight up.

[A]

Straight up. No hand movement. Just you maybe. You see, see that? Where like it's not a full five finger wave.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's like the two, the, the ring and the pinky are kind of. They're lazy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, I still.

[A]

One of those. Just give them one.

[B]

These are beer fingers high miles. These are the fingers you use to open a beer top. So these are your beer fingers. Yeah, yeah. Beer fingers high.

[A]

Give them one of those.

[B]

Yeah, these are what you open the pop top and then what I'm saying with this though, with the 11 to 1, that's after you just cut off someone.

[A]

Yeah. In the rear view.

[B]

Yeah. It's like, I know I fucked you over. I know I screwed you over. No, I screwed you over. Sorry. Didn't mean to drop an F bomb this early in the show.

[A]

When you do the finger point kind of wave, you know like kind of.

[B]

That when you do this, when your.

[A]

Body shows up to the bar.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You're the bar rail. You see a buddy, you know, you kind of give him one of those.

[B]

Yeah. It's like I see you. I don't need to act excited. This is the excitement you're getting. Yeah. And he knows you're excited to see him, but you don't need to take the time to put it on your face. You know, it's like, what's up man?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And see ya.

[A]

That's what they saw.

[B]

One of those. How about this wave?

[A]

That wave is still a wave. What the are you doing? But I don't want to say that. I just want to kind of do it with my hand.

[B]

This is when your. Your brother Jack knives the trailer trying to back it out. It's a. Yeah, there you go. You know, because you wouldn't do that to just anyone, but someone you know very well who had just screwed up backing up a trailers. Yeah, just like that. Oh, and then how about this?

[A]

Let's keep coming back, keep coming back, keep coming back. Stop, go forward, and try again.

[B]

That's what that is.

[A]

If you told him to go, like, you know, it depends on where he's at.

[B]

This is. Right. A scotch. No, left to scotch.

[A]

No, I understand. But if you've gone too far, you have to.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[A]

I think you also have the, like, white person on a hike wave.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's not a wave at all. It's just a no teeth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Head nod and smile.

[B]

And sometimes if you're concerned, like, you know, you want to, like, really show you're not a serial killer, you go, hey. Hey, how you doing?

[A]

It's more. It's not even a high. It's like a. Yeah, it's just a short, tight breath that sounds like an hip, hey, what's going.

[B]

Because you can't do it too early, or they'll think you're like. You know, it gives off weird vibes. They'll think you're gonna try to have a full conversation. You gotta look down on the ground, and then you see them and you go. And you put all that thought into, like, you're concerned. Then you realize they have headphones on anyway. They're not even paying attention.

[A]

And I think the final one I'd like to whip out there is actually my dad's special.

[B]

Thought you were gonna say something else.

[A]

Okay. My dad's not a hugger, as you can imagine.

[B]

Yeah, I remember trying to hug.

[A]

So let's say you walk into someone's house and people are kind of standing around, and instead of being like, oh, my God, it's so good to see you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

My dad will walk in. He'll just go, yeah. So do you know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah, I do know. You cut. You can do that sometimes, too.

[A]

He'll walk in with his hands in his pocket, and he'll just go. Just terrible podcasting.

[B]

But no, no, it's good. We got video for this reason.

[A]

The chin up and then the hold.

[B]

Chin up for a. Hold for a squinty eyes, too. Chin up, hold. Squint to the eyes. There you go.

[A]

It's like, I am, I'm acknowledging you. You know, I don't want to be touched.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't do well with feelings, you know, Like, I'm not gonna be like, hey, great to see you.

[B]

Yeah. Just walk in and are both hands in the pocket to know that this is a no go zone. You have both hands in the pocket, chin down, seizes prey, and then puts it up and down, up and down. Very defensive posturing.

[A]

Yeah, defensive but friendly.

[B]

You know, defensive but friendly, but also offensive in the sense he's getting ahead of it. Yeah.

[A]

He's like, I know that you. There's a chance you may hug me. I don't want that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we got it. We got a fellow. My uncle's aunt's boyfriend is a hugger and he's a great guy, Paul. And he'll say, I'm a hugger right away. And everyone knows Paul's gonna give you a hugger. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

That's the worst.

[A]

That is the worst. Those are like the worst words you can hear when you show up to a place.

[B]

Well, you know, the thing is, you think that initially with, with Paul, you know, you're like, ah, I gotta hug him now. I don't mind hugging. I know it's coming. I know the hug's coming.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And, and Paul's usually, you know, he's, he likes his, his gin martinis. So, you know, he doesn't care. He's past the point. I think if anyone's drinking gin martinis, they're a hugger. Yeah, yeah, that's just how it goes.

[A]

Oh, well, Charlie, should we do some collars?

[B]

Yeah, let's do it, man.

[A]

So, all right, let's do some callers.

[B]

All right, let's take a call. Let's. Hey, why don't we move on over and do a call?

[A]

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[B]

Yeah, music.

[A]

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[B]

You gotta be kidding me.

[A]

Yeah, they got it all on prize fix now, so you can back your takes with real money, and you can make your picks before or even during live events. Because I know, Charlie, sometimes you're late to the party.

[B]

I'm late to the party, late to the game.

[A]

Still plays prize picks even if the game's going on.

[B]

Well, that's great for me.

[A]

Player picks, team picks, culture picks. All one app. Prize picks.

[B]

Look at this. Just took a player pick. I'll send it to Ann. All right.

[A]

Grady, you got Miles and Charlie from the Bellied up podcast. I heard that you have a bone to pick with Minnesota.

[C]

Ah, I do.

[B]

Well, pick the bone, Grady.

[C]

All right, well, first off, there is no Minnesota nice when driving in Wisconsin.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I mean, I'm just a local truck driver here, you know, and there's just no decency on the road. Now.

[B]

Are you talking the Minnesota plates are not being decent to you as a Wisconsin truck driver?

[C]

No, that's true.

[A]

What are they doing that's really grinding your gears?

[C]

What aren't they doing?

[B]

Well, I don't know.

[C]

Going up hills. They're. I mean, just. There's no. There's no Midwest nice from Minnesotans anymore.

[B]

You don't think so? Not any Minnesotans.

[C]

Well, there's a couple good people, you know, I mean, just. Just the ones that have cabins over here. Not a fan of them.

[B]

Oh, they're coming in from elsewhere.

[C]

Huh?

[A]

Is this maybe less about the driving and more about them buying up your real estate?

[C]

True. Yep.

[B]

Who's buying it?

[C]

I mean, they're driving the property taxes up because they're buying real nice cabins that are on lakes. They're tearing them down, and then they're building mansions also.

[A]

So you're putting on high alert that, you know, we've come in completely complaining about people from Chicago doing that in Wisconsin, and now you're saying that the people in Minneapolis, St. Paul area are coming over and doing the same goddamn thing.

[C]

Oh, I hear you.

[B]

Oh, that. That's.

[C]

Next thing you know, it's probably going to be the Michiganders coming in from the up.

[B]

Well, we did just have a Michigander that came in from the up.

[C]

Gosh.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Watch him, too.

[A]

You know whose fault this is, Grady?

[C]

Who's that?

[A]

Charlie Barrons.

[C]

How do you say who's.

[A]

Who's more the number one Fan on the Internet running his mouth about how great Wisconsin is. Who else has been doing that?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't tell you.

[A]

I don't exactly. You know, I think this is a classic. Either die a hero or live long enough. See yourself become the villain. Charlie Barron's with all of his Wisconsin pride is making Wisconsin worse.

[B]

Damn, that's.

[C]

We should be first. We have the best cheese.

[B]

We do have the best cheese. And that's what I'm saying.

[A]

God, you Wisconsinites are just unbelievable.

[B]

What do you mean we're unbelievable? He was right. That he speak on facts. No, that was all fact right there. We do have the best cheese. And furthermore.

[A]

Miles.

[B]

Yes, Grady?

[C]

I was just gonna say Minnesota is the land of 10,000 lakes, is it not?

[B]

I mean, it says it on their license plate.

[C]

I mean, why don't you just stay over there? In the summertime, there's no reason to come over to Wisconsin.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

Driving our lakes, you know, boat around them. Wake boats are just tearing up the lake shores.

[B]

I can't stand them damn wake boats.

[A]

I knew you were gonna be a guy who hates wake boats. Yeah, I knew that.

[B]

If you got the right wake. If you got the right lake somewhere else, then fine. But you got these nice Wisconsin. You know, we don't have rocks on the shoreline most of the time. And these things tear it up otherwise.

[C]

You know that they do.

[B]

And the bottom of the lake.

[C]

Disappointing.

[B]

You've been looking at the bottom of.

[C]

The lake pretty sandy, I'd say.

[B]

Yeah, well, it gets rid of the roughage. And then what are the fish going to vegetate on? Nothing changes the whole dynamic of the bottom of the lake. Not a lot of people are looking at the bottom of the lake.

[C]

I'm getting down there with the scuba gear, though.

[A]

Oh, are you?

[B]

Good for you.

[A]

Yeah. You're a scuba guy.

[C]

No.

[B]

Well, it's nice to think about sometimes.

[C]

I mean, I just. What were you gonna say?

[B]

I was gonna say I put some goggles on.

[C]

Yep, I got the snorkel gear.

[A]

Okay, so we're starting to peel back the layers. At first it's that you don't like the way they drive, but in reality, it's about them coming over and stealing lake property and driving up the prices. What else about Minnesota do you hate?

[C]

They're. They're a nuisance. When I'm trying to drive on Fridays in the summertime, between Memorial Day and Labor Day, you can't get anywhere without having an hour wait for traffic.

[A]

True.

[B]

Yep. Yep.

[C]

It's just terrible.

[B]

It's not. What. Well, what do we do about it?

[C]

I mean, I think the. I should just say, let's go back to our roots and fish our lakes, you know, in Minnesota.

[A]

So you're saying, like, you guys should put up a wall around Wisconsin?

[C]

More or less.

[A]

Okay, well, Charlie, start the campaign. Start the build the wall campaign.

[C]

Wall.

[A]

It's gonna be big, beautiful, cheesy wall. We're not gonna let the fibs in. Big cheese Minnesota. I need an S of a FETA keen.

[B]

So I think there is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, the wall around Wisconsin would just look like the fence outside. Lamb paint. It's yellow, and then you guys just paint stuff on it.

[C]

Yeah. It'd be great to do Lambo leaks.

[B]

That's how you get over.

[A]

Yeah. Like, all right, I'm headed to Chicago for work stuff. And then you go Lambo leap over the wall.

[C]

Yep. The only way you can get in is if you can get over the Lambo leap wall.

[B]

Yeah. You going?

[A]

Which is tougher than you would imagine. When I was at Lambo, I tried the Lambo leap, and it. I needed a step stool.

[B]

There's a secret you gotta go. There's one part of the wall that's lower.

[A]

I also was, like, 60 pounds heavier, so I was wearing cowboy boots. It was a nightmare scenario for me.

[C]

Yeah, the cowboy boots is what did it. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You just lose all your pop.

[B]

You know, there's no spring in them steps.

[A]

So you. It's your driving truck. What. What are the. How do the truck drivers communicate? I know they have all sorts of stuff with flashing their brights, let them know they can get back over all that stuff. Is there any. Anything else you guys are doing?

[C]

Not that I can think of. Not to other truck drivers. But we use some profanities with other drivers. You know, I'll give them a thumbs down now and again.

[A]

Okay, I like that. No, I like that. It's. Honestly, I feel like that may be weirdly hurt more. You know, it's like, if your dad's pissed, right. You're like, oh, my dad's mad. This sucks. But if your dad is silent and he just gives you the talk about how disappointed he is, that hurts worse.

[B]

That cuts you. Right.

[A]

You'd rather him be mad, right?

[B]

To the soul. Yeah. Give me something to, you know, resent.

[A]

Whereas, you know, if he was flicking drivers off, you know, you're. He's mad. It's not as big of a deal. But if you're just doing the. I'm Disappointed in your driving? Thumbs down. That means way more.

[B]

Yeah, because I'm now focused on how I'm a bad person and not how I can retaliate, you know, and it's two different headspaces.

[C]

Or like shaking the finger at you, you know?

[A]

Oh, like. Like a Dikembe Mutombo finger wave.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

He's a football guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, look, what's your biggest pet peeve about drivers?

[C]

When they go to pass you and they don't give you enough room in front of you, so they're just passing you and then they just cut you off.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or when they pull out. That's not fun.

[A]

No.

[C]

You got a full load of stuff and then they pull out in front of you. What are you supposed to do?

[B]

Can't pull out with a full load. Never works. Nope, nope, I hear you on that one.

[C]

No good.

[A]

How about does it piss you off when, you know, cars get trapped underneath your truck? You know, that's the worst.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Getting trapped underneath a gas truck, that's the worst.

[C]

I think getting stuck under a truck would be even worse.

[B]

It's true.

[C]

In a shitty situation.

[B]

I see what you did there.

[C]

You like that one.

[B]

Yeah. Well played. So you're not gonna get that from the Minnesotans. They don't have our sense of hum. Nope, nope. What are you doing right now?

[C]

Are you taking a fishy sense of humor?

[B]

Fishy sense? Yeah.

[C]

All their 10,000 lakes.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I remember those. I see them on the license plates.

[A]

Okay, I have another question. You're a truck driver and we've talked to a lot of truck drivers on this podcast. By now, you know, we've asked a lot of questions, but question we haven't asked that. I'm actually very curious. And truck drivers seem to hate pretty much anyone that drives on the road that isn't them. I've gotten that we're doing a lot of stuff wrong. I tried and be courteous now that I've been, you know, we've raised awareness about driving smart around trucks, but do truck drivers have pet peeves about other truck drivers?

[C]

Just stay out of the left lane, you know, if you're not. If you're not driving fast, you know, just get out of the left lane. You don't need to stay there, you know.

[A]

You talking about other truckers?

[C]

Yeah. Yep, yep. So you're saying you go to pass another truck driver and you can't truck past the truck in the right lane because there's one clogging up the left. It's like Come on, buddy, get a move on. Get her. Get off the pot.

[B]

Oh, I've seen that. I've been behind one truck trying to pass another truck. I'm like, are these guys communicating right now? What's going on?

[A]

They pulling a prank?

[B]

Yeah, they're blocking both lanes doing car pranks. It's like one. One truck, one trucker tried to pass the other trucker, but the other trucker thought he'd go start going the speed limit now. And now trucker doesn't know if he's got the giddy up to get past him. And then stuck in a tough position.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, then, then the truck in the right lane decides to speed up one and it's like this, this, you can't go on. No, just get a move on. Yeah, yeah, let me pass you. And then I'll be going ahead of you.

[B]

Yeah, right, yeah.

[A]

What about like truck stop etiquette? What are some stuff. If like I was a new trucker, what would I need about the truck stop to not look like a newbie?

[C]

Make sure you know how to back up and pull up straight. Gosh, I see a bunch of people coming in and they're just jackknifing the truck and trailer. Just trying to pull into this one spot and just jackknifing it, Guys sitting there for 15 minutes trying to do it. It's just like this is Great again. Another 15 minute and a half in and then you're on the road.

[A]

It's because all those new truck drivers are only learning how to drive truck on those. On simulators, you know?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Those young kids simulator.

[B]

Can't simulate the pressure. Can't simulate the pressure. I was in Boston once, I saw this trucker just back it in right between two buildings with full on rush hour traffic. He had an audience, he had an auditorium of cars watching him and he did it. And I, I just, I gave him an applause and he saw me and he gave me a wave. I was like, these guys are hero dude. I was so impressed. I was so. I've seen, I've seen people melt down faster at a boat launch than what this guy did. Rush hour traffic, Boston, Massachusetts. It was insane. It was insane. And anyways, shout out to him and shout out to you, sir.

[C]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[B]

What's your most impressive back end?

[C]

My most impressive back end?

[B]

Where'd you back that ass up?

[C]

You want to rephrase the question?

[B]

Well, where did you back your semi truck into?

[A]

Back in. Are you most proud of what scenario what was happening? Was there an audience? You know, was it. Did you have three trailers behind you and you backed it in? What do we. What are we talking?

[C]

I was in Dodgeville, Wisconsin. And, you know, there's the driftless part of Wisconsin, real hilly and this and that. And where we had to drift back into. I had two. Two little dozers on on the back of this dovetail, and I had to go back up a hill and at the crest of the hill, make a hard right and back it into the yard.

[B]

Wow. Wow.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Dangerous.

[C]

I. I threw the flashers on and let her rip.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

And you whistled that sucker back in there.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I got her fast enough where they hit the Jake brakes going backwards.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

Dude, that's.

[C]

Yep. I.

[B]

We. We both applaud you right now.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You can't see it, but we are full on applause.

[A]

We gotta add this to our list of stuff every time we talk to a trucker. We need to. We need to hear their. Their most impressive backup story.

[B]

But we can't say it back that ass up like that. Didn't like it all did not play. I was just trying to, you know, lighten the mood a little.

[C]

But, hey, that's good. That's good.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Problem.

[B]

I know it. It can also sound erotic. And that's not what we want out of this conversation. That's a different channel on the radio dial. Yeah.

[A]

All right, well, this has been great, dude. I. I want you to. The. The stage is yours. I'd love you. I'd love for you to do one last PSA for anyone from Minnesota. Just get it out. What. How are you feeling? Let them know what you want out of them and you have the floor.

[C]

Here's the deal. I'm the best there is. I wake up every morning piss excellence. Just get out of the way. You know, I'm coming down, barreling down the road. Just get out of the way. You know, and when I'm not moving too fast still get out of the way. You know, you could. You can stay at home, you know, you don't need to go up to your lake cabin that's big enough to be a house. You know, maybe stay off them wake boats too, because you're wrecking the shorelines. You know, I just. It really grinds my gear. That's all I got.

[B]

That was great. That was beautiful.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

That was beautiful. Well, hey, you listen. You keep her moving out there. And while you're driving, you make sure you watch for deer, all right?

[C]

Oh, that's the plan. Talk to you later.

[B]

All right, see you soon now. Bye. Bye.

[A]

Ah, we forgot to ask him where he's at, what he's hauling.

[B]

Oh, call him back. Next time we'll do it. Next time we'll do it.

[A]

Oh, what a good guy. Yeah. At first I thought I was gonna have to whip out. After we asked a few questions and he says, I don't know, I was out. I was gonna have to whip, give him a. Well, that sucks, because we're on a podcast. He warmed up. You know, like, when I think of a Wisconsin trucker, you know, it takes a little bit for them to get warmed up.

[B]

At first I thought he was nervous, but then I realized quickly he was just distracted. We were the third thing he was doing. That phone call, which, you know. Yeah. Respect.

[A]

Good. Good guy. Well, should we take another caller?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Well, guys, it is November in the Midwest. The leaves are turning, the wind's got that crisp bite, and it could snow any day now. Could be coming any day, Any day. You've been raking leads and chopping wood every weekend, and somehow packed with chores you didn't sign up for, Charlie.

[B]

No, that's how it goes sometimes. So, Miles, you know, you just have it. But, you know, it's not all bad.

[A]

And with all that those chores got going on, you need a break, Charlie. And you need to take a break and treat yourself. So I think you should grab a glass of Tippy Cow and pour yourself some shamrock mint Tippy Cow right here.

[B]

Sure thing.

[A]

Oh, yeah, it's rich enough to make you forget about that honey do list. And you betcha it's made with real Wisconsin cream.

[B]

You betcha indeed, Miles.

[A]

So sit on the porch, sip slowly and savor the moment that's all yours. Because some things are worth.

[B]

It's so good sipping on so good real Wisconsin cows to be cow moo.

[A]

All right, folks, we have our resident injury lawyer here in the bar with us today. Russell Nicolay. How are you doing, buddy?

[E]

I'm doing well. How about you guys fellas?

[A]

I'm doing great.

[B]

I'm. I'm doing good.

[A]

It's not quite the perfect day. You know, I woke up a little groggy this morning, but I was.

[B]

Up.

[A]

Late just worried about you, Charlie, you know, that's so.

[B]

Sweetie.

[A]

Yeah, but I was thinking earlier, you know, we all think we know what lawyers are doing on a regular basis. You know, you guys are just billing hours, you know, but what's a true perfect day in the lawyer world?

[E]

Perfect day. Perfect day. Wake up well rested, get some coffee. You look at your emails, there's no new emails other than just congratulations from your clients.

[A]

Yeah, the. The check is on its way, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

The insurance company has left a bunch of voice messages about how they have finally surrendered to you in every case. So you're feeling pretty good. Grab another coffee, call your clients, tell them, you know, hey, insurance company surrendered just because they saw was on the case, and thank you in advance for all the accolades and the hats on the back and then, you know, have a good morning. That way instead of putting out fires and dealing with, oh, this is all.

[A]

Just in the morning.

[E]

Yeah, this is the morning.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

You should see the not so perfect morning. But yeah. So get that done. Probably go get a nice lunch, get back to some more wins, and then kind of wrap it up with a few new clients calling that need some help and very happy to hire you or me as Nicolay Law Russell Nicolette. So sounds like a good day. Just getting new clients, helping old clients and kicking insurance company.

[B]

But so. Wow.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

I thought you missed something though. I thought you were gonna have like a good hour and a half blocked off time to buy some more billboards.

[E]

That's true. Yeah.

[A]

Well, and thinking of new billboard slogans as well.

[E]

Right. In the perfect world, there would be actually a few people calling with like, they found some new billboards.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Charlie would probably be sending me an email with like a new billboard idea. That was just awesome.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I want.

[A]

Which in the email would have. Your. Your big idea would have been what, Charlie?

[B]

It would have been no singing.

[A]

It's a billboard. Yeah, it's a billboard.

[B]

That's it though, Miles. That's it. Every time a car passes or gets. It's like a speed thing. Anytime you get within like a mile of it, it starts singing. And the best part is, is I install this billboard myself. I kind of want to start putting up billboards for you on top of other people's billboards, you know, so like get a ladder, get a little cherry picker and like some big, you know, a big printer, you know, and just go put them up.

[A]

Yeah. Like on the other injury law firms billboards, put one above it that just says don't go with stupid arrow down.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta do more of those. Like, like, you gotta do one right after, like excite billboard. Think you're excited. Oh, if you get injured while excited, call Nicolet. You know, like, all right, I can tell you could do like other billboards.

[A]

Do a Billboard that says the Billboard see in 1 mile Ignore, please. You know what I mean?

[B]

Well, then they're going to pay more attention, right? It's reverse psycho psychology.

[A]

Mile. After the other injury law firm, you say, I bet you remember this billboard more than the one a mile back. Something like that.

[B]

Yeah, there you go. But then they're thinking to the one they saw back and they're like, huh, what was that? I have to pay attention the next time I'm driving south on 94. Sorry, sorry.

[E]

What do you think about just making such an awesome billboard but they forget.

[B]

All the other people.

[A]

I mean, that's obviously ideal, but.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, as well as an unlimited source here, we only got so many great ideas.

[E]

Well, there was one because to your point about singing, there was one that was like think for like a grill or something. And I had like the steam machine. The problem is that people thought it was on fire. So, like, it did get a ton of attention. But the. I think the state patrol and everyone was upset because like people were continuously like stopping and calling. And so that was a really good one. But you know, obviously you got to make sure that it's not causing problem with the law enforcement either.

[C]

So.

[B]

Yeah. Have you ever seen another lawyer's billboard and thought, dang, he beat me to that. Like, that was better idea than mine. Have you ever gotten jelly of another injury lawyer's billboard?

[E]

Not so much on like design or content, but location. Like, oh, like especially on one where turn in and there's like kind of a corner. It's right in your face.

[A]

Oh, man, I can't believe I didn't get that.

[B]

Location, location, location. Do you have a billboard realtor? Someone who's like, hey, I got a hot one that just came online for you.

[E]

The billboard reps usually will, you know, hey, I've got an open one or whatever. Or actually, I don't know if I told you guys this before, but there's some billboards out there that are owned by like an individual. And those people will seek me out just because they know, like, this guy's a sucker.

[A]

This guy will buy any billboard.

[E]

I've got a billboard and it's on this dirt road and there's like five people that go down in a month. Perfect board for you, you know, 500amonth.

[B]

Oh, did I do it? Not on that one, no.

[E]

It's gotta have some traffic. It's 500 bucks is a lot for like five people a month to drive by.

[B]

If I, if I put a billboard thing on the top of my duplex. Would you. Would you do it?

[E]

I mean, in.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Just let me know if you can get it up there. Even if you, you know, just. I'll get you. At least put it up there and we'll find out what happens, I suppose.

[A]

Right.

[B]

My neighbors might be pissed, but how often do you look up?

[A]

Well, so I'm from Fargo, so anytime I'm in a city with a building that's higher than five floors, I'm doing the. Oh, God, that's so high. I'm getting a little bit of vertigo looking up there. Holy. Oh, I gotta sit down.

[B]

Town.

[A]

I suppose that's true for Mata towners, for sure.

[B]

Hey, would you like a bacon wrapped water chestnut?

[E]

I'm good right now. Thank you, though.

[B]

Okay. Okay. That goes against you. I got my beer.

[C]

I'm pretty good.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Well, there you go. Well, thanks for coming on, man.

[E]

Yeah, thanks for having me.

[D]

Guys, this is Jay.

[A]

Oh, the old jaybird. What's going on?

[D]

Oh, we're making cornstalk bales to feed the cows for the winter.

[A]

Love it. I love it. So you're a busy guy. Thanks for taking the time to chat with us.

[C]

So.

[D]

Yeah. Miles, how are you doing?

[B]

What happened there, Jay? Did you just space out with. What'd you say? I was spacing out when you said what you were doing. What's he doing, Miles?

[A]

He's bailing corn stocks. Oh, the cows.

[B]

Bailing corn stocks. There you go.

[D]

Bail them up wet and wrap them in plastic so they ferment and the cows will just gobble them up like candy.

[B]

Man, love that. Yeah, that's. That's. That hits right in their. Their first stomach, you know, or whatever.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Well.

[A]

Well, Jay, I heard that you. You said that you've had enough with all the fib talk I have.

[D]

It's time we come up with a proper terminology here.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

For background, though, are. Do you live in Wisconsin?

[B]

No, no, don't say it like that, Jay. No, we're already off on a bad foot right now.

[D]

Well, Charles, I don't care what foot we are on.

[B]

Damn. Damn. Jay's coming in hot, dude.

[A]

Okay, so where you. Where you live at?

[D]

Central Illinois, just north of Peoria.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I know. Super specific.

[B]

No, I've been to Peoria. You know, I like Peoria.

[D]

It's a good town. Anyways, six. Six generation Illinois family. Been here farming. I mean, we still farm the original homestead.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

We got tombstones in the pasture that date back to the Civil war.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Jay, this is. This Is really cool. Much respect, my man. I'm automatically regretting all the times I've said fib just knowing that that' this conversation's headed.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, I think we can all agree that Chicago is like the downfall of the state. Sure, it's a metropolis. It's, you know, it, it has had its place in history. It is a viable part of the state. But it's gotta be the Chicago folks coming up there to Wisconsin that just, just giving the rest of us good old boys a bad taste in your mouth.

[A]

Yeah, well, I see where this is going. You're saying that by saying those Illinois bastards, you're saying that it should be those Chicago bastards.

[D]

Yeah, but Tib doesn't have a nice ring.

[B]

So what football team do you root for there, Jay?

[D]

Well, I mean, I was born just before the 85 bears, so I, you know, it's, it's hard to go against the Bears, but.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[D]

But I, I will admit to being a fan of the small towns that get a shot at, at a chance to play.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That was his nice way of saying he's, he likes that the packers playing Green Bay because it's a small town.

[B]

I know. I, I, I see. He's a conflicted man.

[A]

He didn't want to outrage. Right. Say that, but that was his way of saying that.

[B]

Yeah, that was kind. That was kind.

[D]

I did say Green Bay. I mean, I'm thinking about all my buddies from Iowa that have been Chiefs fans for a lifetime and now they've gotten a chance to see them prosper and they got folks over in Indianapolis and Buffalo.

[B]

Yeah, Buffalo. They've won a lot of Super Bowls from what I recall.

[D]

Well, just, they've had some.

[B]

Charlie.

[D]

Well, enough.

[B]

Just a bit outside. That's a Ms. Field Goal joke. Listen, Jay, here's the deal, man. In Wisconsin, we have an animosity to Illinois for the main reason, the main reason is the Chicago Bears. And if, and, and we have to have that, that is our lifeblood as packers fans. Rivalry.

[A]

They just have so much of paper, Miles.

[B]

It is an investment. Without it or without it. Jay, I don't need to be double teamed here. Without it. What do we have, man? We need to call you guys fibs. We need this, we need this rivalry, okay? It's, it's, it's what fuels us through the off season and through the season. Okay? And I don't think we, we want to see this go away. What fun would life be?

[D]

Okay, so yours low self esteem is dependent on.

[B]

Oh, Talking like a real fib right now, Jay, I'll tell you that. Keep it up, keep it up.

[A]

I love it. Jay. So J.D. you know, why is it that Wisconsin feels like they need to punch at you guys, but it seems like Illinois is just not bothered by Wisconsin? Like do you guys have a secret name for Wisconsin Johnson?

[D]

Not that I'm aware of. I mean I know all sorts of families that enjoy going up there and enjoying the recreational sports.

[B]

Yeah, I know them too.

[D]

Throughout the winter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's one of those things pumping.

[D]

Money into local economy, popping money into.

[B]

Local economies, sending the property value sky freaking high. Jay. No, honestly, Jay, we you guys do how, especially when you come up for the winters because like the past few winters the snow has been such crap. So you know, anything you can do to come up to the bars would be great. Especially in the winter. That would be great. The summer you could tone it down a little bit. But you know, if, yeah, if you want to, if you guys want to come up and go ice fishing, you know, every once in a while, that would honestly be fine because those up.

[A]

North bars, I am not going to.

[B]

Really need some of that.

[A]

Pass something here. I'd like to. So when I, a wise marketing person once said that if you are number one in the industry, you don't talk about any other company. If you are number two or below, you punch up and you drag number one through the mud. And Jay, I don't want to, I'm just going to put this information out there, but it seems like Wisconsin's dragging Illinois through the mud quite a bit. And so if you go off of just marketing rules, Jay, you tell me who is number one and who is number two?

[D]

Well, marketing rules, you'd say Illinois is what?

[B]

But if you look at the NFC north, why does Wisconsin have to talk.

[A]

So much about Illinois? Why, why is it not go Bears and the packers, you know, what's going on? Why you guys, why does Illinois have so much real estate in your guys brain?

[B]

Well, they think they're better than us, Miles. They think that Milwaukee is just Chicago with more parking and that's unfortunate. They, they think that, that, that they, they, they we're just their big, big, big, big backyard and that, that they can just come up here and go real fast behind us and ride our ass, you know, and say you're slow. Well, you're not even supposed to be here.

[A]

Nice, nice one. You got him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jay, what do you have? Well.

[D]

No more. I did live in Wisconsin for a while right out of college.

[B]

Where at, Jay?

[D]

Columbus area.

[B]

Okay. Well, you should have started with that. Yeah, they got the train right over there. Goes through. Yeah. Did you ever get on that train, that Amtrak?

[D]

No, no, no. I was up there breeding dairy cows.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you're breeding dairy cows real good.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You ever ejaculate a bowl there, Jay?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, we semen check ours annually.

[B]

Oh, nice. Now, who is transporting your semen after.

[D]

We get ours from select sires?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Shout out. Shout out. Now, that's. You really want to find the right guy to be transporting your bull semen because I mean that you don't have much time. You can't afford for any. And in fact, you know, maybe I should think about that the next time some fibs. Right. Right in my ass. Maybe he's just got bull semen in the cock.

[D]

Well, they freeze it. It'll keep.

[B]

No, it'll. It'll keep, certainly.

[A]

It's not like an organ, you know? It's not like you got a. You know.

[B]

Well, just the quick. The. The quicker the transit, the better the deal.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. A good buddy of mine ejaculates bulls, and he told me that Miles. So.

[D]

Well, that's from collection to freezing process, certainly.

[B]

That's what I'm talking about.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

You can do that on site, I think, is what he's saying.

[B]

Well, yeah, you know what I mean?

[D]

I don't want to get too into the weeds. On the edge.

[B]

Let's get into the weeds.

[A]

No, see, Charlie's deflecting because he could feel himself. His arguments slipping his grasp, and he. You ran over Jay's rebuttal to what you were saying about.

[B]

I was trying to distract With a little bolt. I know. Okay. And it didn't work. All right.

[A]

Do you believe that Illinois is better than Wisconsin and that you guys are truly number one, and that's why you don't even feel the need to mention Wisconsin ever?

[D]

Oh, that's a tough one. I mean, they're. They're so. They're so different and offer such variety of choices that I. I don't want to disparage the fine people of Wisconsin. I mean, you're living off the backbone of dairy and Green Bay, so I just. I just hate to knock you down further, really. But.

[B]

Jay, you had me all soft in there. My heart had been. My heart. Hard and calcified heart. It was ready to just give India, you know, and. And then you had to turn it like that, and I was vulnerable with you and started talking about bull semen. Even. And anyways, Jay, listen, you sound like a good guy, okay? And just know that. Hey, can't you take a joke? Jay, come on. Can't you take a little light ribbon? Oh, wow. I mean, that's the guy who just.

[A]

Lost his mind.

[C]

Now.

[D]

Hey, you took it blue. You're the one that's taking it blue.

[E]

Taking what?

[B]

What's blue?

[D]

The language. I've been nothing but the bull spot.

[B]

That's not blue. Okay? I mean, I know I'm not a farmer, but you should know.

[D]

No, not that. Okay, you're the one that's using coarse language that you wouldn't want to say on a Sunday.

[B]

What? What language? Bull spunk.

[D]

Oh, there's been a few bastards and.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, did I say son of a. Did I say that?

[A]

Yes, you did.

[B]

Did I go off on a little.

[A]

Are you starting to see what Chicago and Illinois do to you Wisconsinites?

[B]

Did I cuss? Was I letting out some cusses? That's not good. Yeah, we have kids watching.

[A]

I don't even know this is a kid.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[D]

Well, yeah, I was trying to keep this, you know, so you didn't have to write explicit for it.

[B]

Darn it. Well, I'm so sorry, Jay. I.

[D]

See.

[B]

I, I, I did kind of black out there. I actually don't know what we talked about. And, you know, I, I do apologize. You gotta understand, when I was a little kid, I grew up being told that. That the Bears were the enemy and that we didn't like them, and they would play this song, the Bears still suck. And I, I've never known the Bears to not suck.

[D]

And, well, it's hard to defend them.

[B]

It is sometimes hard to defend them. And, and Jay, it's hard to defend my actions here today, and I want to let you know I'm sorry.

[D]

Well, I, I will accept your apology and just be nice to come up with a. A more accurate term than fib.

[B]

Do it to us, Jay. So no, I don't know, say something dirty about us. Do it. Wisconsin. So fw So W is a different one than F. So Wisconsin Indolent Whip. Wisconsin. Insulin Prick. I don't know what insulin means. I think that's for diabetes, so never mind. A wap. Could you call us a wap, Wisconsin.

[A]

Prick.

[B]

Oh, a wap. Could be a wap. Wisconsin could be.

[D]

Could be.

[B]

Wisconsinite.

[A]

The most schizophrenic call I think Charlie's ever done.

[D]

Well, I think I got him razzled.

[A]

Yes, I know, I know.

[B]

Jay got me. Jay got Me jonesed up here. And you know, Jay, you're a good guy.

[D]

Well, I like to think so.

[B]

But think of it. Just spend your time there, Jay, thinking about some Wisconsin. Wisconsin acronym here. Because I. I do think there should be something to. To. To call Wisconsinites, you know, in a derogatory way, so you can fire back at us, you know, like right now, you guys are bringing. You're bringing a knife to a gunfight, you know, and. No, we gotta army up here, you know, something to throw back. Hey, ya, fibs. Hey, Webs, you know, but not web. Some better. Something that rolls off the tongue. Fib's nice. It feels like a miles. Help us out here.

[A]

I mean, you can't come up with what you're going to call yourself. Charlie, I know you're trying to do that. It's like the most Wisconsin thing ever.

[B]

No, I'm not. I'm not trying. I'm just. I'm just saying that needs to happen. I'm point. I'm putting a spotlight on what people. Well, here we go.

[A]

You know, we'll leave it up to the comments. Live in Illinois. You guys got any good nicknames for the people in Wisconsin? Preferably mean nicknames, you know, I mean.

[D]

The best we do is just make fun of Iowa. Really. Oh.

[B]

So how do you think Iowa feels about that?

[D]

Well, they grow better corn, so they. They kind of don't worry about us. Oh, the same way Illinois doesn't worry so much about Wisconsin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. All right, Jay. All right, you got me. Okay. Does it feel good?

[D]

I. I feel better about it.

[B]

That's what this was all about? Jay, I just wanted to hear you out. And now you got it out there. We cleared the air. Okay?

[D]

We did. We had a nice conversation. Yeah, and my son's the one that got me to call you guys, and I just had him rolling on my voicemail.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

He couldn't believe I said all that.

[B]

But what else do you say on the voicemail, Jared?

[D]

Oh, I just. Just really stern and. Okay, demanded this opportunity. Clear the air.

[B]

Well, you got. And Jay, you know what? As a little sign of kindness, I got a show coming up in Peoria. I'll get you tickets if you want. You want them?

[D]

Well, we have tickets we bought. Yeah, well, they're a little nosebleedy, but.

[B]

Well, I'll get you. I'll put you up. I'll put you up in the comp seats, okay? They're. They're right closer. And we'll do a little meet and greet. After the show. How's that sound?

[D]

Well, my son will just love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Huge fan of you guys. And Miles. He's a children's hospital NICU unit survivor also, so let's go.

[B]

All right.

[A]

That's pretty good. How long was he in the NICU for?

[D]

Just short of a month.

[A]

Yeah, it's a long time.

[D]

Yeah, we. My wife and I were about two weeks before we even started going back home.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah, it's. Well, that is. You start getting that long, and it's. Yeah, two weeks, you're like, you know, we gotta go back to work, but obviously, I don't want to do that. That's. I want to stay here. No good situation.

[D]

After about two weeks, he was pretty stable, but it was just. Oh, it was a long.

[A]

Yeah, the two weeks feel like. Feel like, you know, six months. It's. It's definitely a tough situation.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. So. And he's gonna be terribly disappointed. This call took place when he was at school, but.

[A]

Yeah, you can listen back, though, you know? That's beautiful.

[D]

Yeah. He doesn't even know I'm doing it, so he's got. Gonna click it on someday and be like, dad.

[A]

I love it. That's great.

[D]

So.

[B]

Well, Jay, we're gonna. We gotta wrap this up here, but do me a favor. Just text this number, your last name, and I'll.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And you just go to Will call at Peoria and we'll get you on. We'll meet you and say hi and the whole deal.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Three.

[C]

Three.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

Three.

[B]

Yes, absolutely. You got it.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Don't want to take advantage of your generosity.

[B]

No, I mean, it would be like a fib to do that, but, you know. You like what I did there, Jay? You like what I did there?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

All right.

[D]

Makes you feel better.

[B]

Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. No, I don't like it.

[D]

Take your frustration out on someone else.

[B]

I don't like that he's doing the guilt thing now. This is all right.

[A]

Getting you good.

[B]

Well, Jay, we appreciate you, buddy. Good luck working today and. Yeah, we'll see in Peoria. All right. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Thank you very much.

[B]

All right. Hey, watch for deer out there, okay?

[A]

I will.

[D]

You, too.

[B]

All right. See you, buddy. Well, Miles, another great. Another episode in the book.

[A]

Episode in the books.

[B]

Strong legs you got there. Don't touch my. I'm tickled. Wish you can touch it.

[A]

Well, Charlie, it's been great as always.

[B]

Miles, it's been great here with you. I'm gonna go go. Go somewhere where I'm not gonna see you for a little bit.

[A]

But it's okay.

[B]

I'll be thinking of you.

[A]

We'll see each other again. And we'll see you guys next week on the next episode.

[B]

Don't forget to tip your bartender and.

[A]

Change your air filters. Cheers.

[C]

Okay. Hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.

[B]

Toodaloo.