
On this week’s episode, Co-hosts Sequoia Holmes and Jewel Wicker welcome the astrology new year aka Aries SZN by talking about Astrology. They discuss the best and worst of Aries, controversial opinions on dating each sign, & more! Buy Mocha Grande Merch Become a MaxFun Member Today!
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A
Foreign. Welcome to Black People Love Paramore, a podcast not about the band Paramore, but a show about the common and uncommon interests of black people in order to help us feel a little bit more seen. I'm your host, Sequoia.
B
And I'm Jewel Wicker.
A
Yeah, and today we're going to talk about astrology for the second time because it's the astrological new year when this episode drops. But before that, of course, we got to do a little bit of housekeeping. New merch. Okay, There is proud Mocha Grande shirts available in the description box, if that means anything to you. If Mocha Grande means anything to you, check out the description. You know, if it rings a bell, go check out the description box. Hopefully you'll like what you'll see. You'll make a little purchase. It'll be fun. There's also other fun merch there. There's pins, there's outright black people up Paramore shirts with logo on it. So you can find all the stuff there. If you have a second. If you could rate and review this podcast on Spotify or Apple podcasts, that would be fantastic. Five stars only because we're five star bitches. We're to yo gott. Also now you can comment on Spotify. So if you're watching this on YouTube, you can comment there, of course, hit subscribe, do all that stuff. But you can also comment on Spotify on specific episodes. So if you listening along, you find yourself speaking out loud to us, go ahead and drop a comment. What was you saying? I want to know what you were saying. I want to know your thoughts.
B
Only we, not you.
A
Anti libra too.
B
I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear what you guys. I don't say nothing in the comments. Leave it in your brain.
A
So yeah, that's that. And now we can get into astrology part two, because Happy astrological New Year. So a little background. Let me explain what astrological New Year is. So astrology has 12 signs, as y' all know, right? The first sign in astrology is Aries and the last sign is Pisces. Airy season. Did you not notice, Jewel? What does this say?
B
I just. Aries shouldn't be first in nothing but.
A
And that's why is why Aries act the way they do. They're known as the babies of the zodiac because they are the first. You know, they're like children. It's like you haven't aged at all. You are fresh. You are New, you know, you. You run off instinct. You don't run off sense too much. It's not too much sense up here. It's just instinct. And that gets some more, you know, that gets them far sometimes, you know, I don't know.
B
I ain't never seen it go on.
A
Wow. We have an Aries hate tour. But essentially, yes, the astrological new year is aligned with the beginning of spring, which a lot of people in general consider the actual new year. It feels weird to start a year in the dead of winter when everything is not growing and it's cold and people want to be sedentary and they want to chill out and bundle up and all that type of stuff. So a lot of people save their actual New Year's resolutions and their New Year's plans until the first day of spring. And the first day of spring is also the first day of Aries season every year. So happy Astrological New Year. This will. I think this episode is coming out the day before. So, yes, Happy New Year to those of you who celebrate happy airy season. For those of you who have birthdays in that demon time, happy for you. Love that for you. Jewel. What Aries hurts you?
B
Many?
A
Several.
B
Started when I was a small child, honestly. But we don't have to go back that far.
A
Started when I was a small child. Is crazy. Has it been every Aries? Are they all bad or you got some Aries?
B
You know what? It's so funny. I. Aries is the one sign where, like, I've started to double up on birthdays. Like, I have, like, multiple people on the same birthday, and they all try me.
A
They all try you in the same way. You be getting tried.
B
Like, I have a aunt who's born on March 27, and I befriended a girl who's born on March 27. And the way we. In the same way. The butting of heads.
A
Yep.
B
It's like, why would you send me two of them? Why would you do that? You know what I'm saying?
A
They say when God sends you an Aries, it's a lesson to be learned there. What is it?
B
I don't want to learn this. And I want to be left alone. I want to have peace in my life. And I don't feel it.
A
But you're gonna keep getting them till you learn it.
B
What I will say is, one of my best friends is also an Aries. Same day as my cousin again, because it doubles up. But one of my best friends is also an Aries.
A
And.
B
And they are the first person that they're the first Aries that I've seen show growth.
A
Wow.
B
Look, started off as a hot head. Jesus help us. But has really, really grown to become a very level headed and even tempered person. And I love that for them.
A
And I have some celebrities that are some Aries just so we can see the different types, you know what I mean? You can be an evolved area. You can Aries. You can be a. An unevolved Aries. There's different levels to Aries behavior. Lady Gaga is an Aries. I would say. I would say Lady Gaga's an evolved Aries. Right.
B
I wonder what chaos that lady is bringing in her.
A
No, she's chaotic now. You know that. Chaotic, yeah. Halle Bailey, now that's an Aries we know.
B
And I can see it, right?
A
Kourtney Kardashian, she doesn't give me Aries. I must say. Courtney doesn't give me Aries.
B
But understanding that Kimberly is a Libra and I understand why she that head against the wall like that.
A
Absolutely.
B
Why she popped her against the wall like that. Because baby, the Aries and the Libras be going at it. So I get it. I understand.
A
Right. Against that little Pedro Pascal. Now I didn't see that for him. I didn't. I would have guessed he was a Libra if I had to guess something.
B
Yeah, Pedro gives me Libra.
A
Yeah, he might have Libra somewhere in his big three. And then I'll leave it with this one. This the last one. This one is like the quintessential obvious Aries to me. Lil Nas X. Yeah. I'm like, that's a fire at a baseline. A fire sign. You know, you're like, sure. Aries doing it for the plot through and through. Entertaining, you know, fun. And I'm not mad at that at all. Aries, why are y' all like that? I just have an open ended question that I would like to ask y'.
B
All is they don't know why.
A
Please comment on Spotify. Please. Maybe if you have an answer, if you have a dissertation you would like to share with me. Comments on Instagram, comment on Spot, a comment on YouTube. Let us know why you like that because we're just trying to figure it out. Jewel, can you tell me your big three placements?
B
Well, I only wrote down two. I know I was supposed to tell you.
A
Okay, I could. Okay, you got it or you want me to do it for you?
B
Sequoia. So for context, Sequoia knows much more about astrology than I have, but has been teaching me So I know that I'm a. I'm a Libra. Is that one of my big threes?
A
Libra sun. Yes.
B
Okay, so then I got it. Libra, sun, Taurus moon, and Pisces rising period.
A
Okay. Okay. So in your big three, you. You have Libra, air, Taurus, Earth, Water.
B
Okay.
A
You have a pretty well rounded big three. I see why you don't like fire signs. You probably don't even have that much fire in your chart in general. I haven't looked, but you probably don't have much fire, and that's why the be rubbing you.
B
Yeah, they all experiences too.
A
That's a Sagittarius.
B
Get them out of here.
A
Yes, it is. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Fire signs. Yeah, that makes sense for me. My big three is Gemini, Sun, Virgo Moon, Capricorn rising. That's two. Earth, one, Air. In my experience, all of my friends are air signs. Like if. If there's a sign that repeats most often or there's a type, an element that repeats most often, it is air. Air. All of my closest friends. I think all of my closest friends are air signs. And Virgo men are also a recurring theme that's interesting. In my life, at my birthday, when we all went to D.C. for my birthday, every single man present was a Virgo man.
B
Really?
A
Every single. There were. There, let's see, there was three. Me, Eric, Jason. Was it just three, or was there four?
B
No, Ryan is a Gemini.
A
Oh, and Ryan. Yes, and Ryan. Yes. Every man dating a woman present.
B
Well, here we are.
A
Is a Virgo man. Virgo. And then I must say I like them all.
B
I must say I like them all.
A
You. You probably do. Virgo. That makes you. Did you say.
B
My mom is a Virgo, So I understand them. And they're. They're, you know, specific needs in life. I. I get them.
A
Specific needs is an understatement. But, yes, as a Virgo moon, I tend to attract Virgo men. It's like my brother is a Virgo man as well. It's just like Virgo men are through and through. Do you have any signs that tend to repeat for you other than Aries?
B
Aries is probably the one that repeats the most. I would say I've dated a few Aquarius men.
A
A few?
B
Yeah. More than one.
A
Okay. I didn't know you had. Okay. I didn't know you was deep into a great man like that.
B
Yeah, I didn't recommend them before.
A
That's my favorite, strongest soldier.
B
Before. Somebody had to go on a redemption tour because I was not convinced by what I saw the first time. I gots to be honest about that.
A
Yep.
B
Pisces. It's interesting. I feel like I. I've attracted a lot of Pisces my. And I my. In my family. I have a lot of Pisces, which is really interesting on my dad's side. My dad is a Pisces. He married a Pisces, had two Pisces daughters. Chaotic. I do thank God that I did not grow up in that home because that sounds Jesus prayers.
A
Yeah. It don't sound like it'd be the home I would enjoy personally, but that's.
B
You know, I'm okay with that.
A
Yeah.
B
But yeah, I would say. And I also do. I probably actually I do attract a lot of fire signs because a lot of Sagittarius is too.
A
A lot of Sagittarius. You really are God's toughest soldier.
B
Yeah. Yeah. I. For me to have as many emotions as I have, I seem to attract folks who just don't like the Aquarius. The like Sagittarius. Like the people who just really do not want to have any type of emotional like outward emotions. Those are my people. And I don't understand why.
A
Because you wear yours on the sleeve, they'd be attracted to you because they'd be like, ooh, she's emotional. She'll. She'll. She'll understand. They really look.
B
They don't say nothing and then I look at them like they crazy and somehow it works. That's how it goes.
A
That makes sense. Crazy does attract crazy. And I can confirm that you are in fact crazy. Okay.
B
Wow.
A
I'm going to take a second to give one word for each sign that comes to mind.
B
Okay.
A
And you can do the same. Okay.
B
Okay.
A
I'll go. I'll start. So for me, Aries fighting fists.
B
I think that's a good one. Terrorists. I'm gonna get a bunch of comments on this from. I'm sorry.
A
That's fine. I'm sorry.
B
That's how I feel.
A
That's how she feel. Y' all need to be nicer to her and then she wouldn't feel that way. Okay. Evolve a little bit Taurus. For me. It would be forgettable. Hate to say it.
B
I think strong like I like an even like a very strong tempered person.
A
I like Taurus, your Taurus moon. I'm sure you do. Gemini. What's the. I have so many words that I could use. I'm gonna land on witty.
B
I'm a land on stressful.
A
Okay. Okay. I've never had A problem with being a stress. Okay, that's clear. Happy to stress out. Thank you. Cancer. Nurturing.
B
That's my forgettable. Because as you know, all of my friends who are cancers, I say they're Gemini's until you correct me. So I clearly don't really do.
A
Do that.
B
I'm like, they're a Gemini. And you're like, that's literally a cancer.
A
I don't know, sir. They're not at all. Okay. Leo. That my word is favorite. That is my favorite.
B
I ain't got no beef with the Leos. Just chill. Chill people. I ain't gonna be for Leo that.
A
Chill is not a word that you.
B
I feel like Leos are pretty chill.
A
Yeah. Virgo. What's one word to sum up? You must be God's strongest soldier to have one of these close to you.
B
Particular.
A
Particular. Particular. Particular. Because let me tell you something about a Virgo. They have already clocked every single flaw that you have within 15 minutes of meeting you. They've clocked every single flaw. Everything that you are insecure about, they have it up here. They would never say it out loud unless you irritate them, even in the slightest. Then they're gonna toss one out. One. Just to let you know. I do see you. You can be touched. So I suggest you shut the up before I really read you to filth. Is. Is Virgo stuff. So you really have to be comfortable, Confident.
B
I'mma put it this way. My mama told me the story about this lady who was being shady to her a few weeks ago. And then the lady finally came to her and said, can we start over? And my mama said, we already halfway through this day. I'll think about it tomorrow. Okay?
A
Like, she knew that. And. And I know that she did. And I know she meant that with her heart. And she gonna come back tomorrow. And the answer is tomorrow is gonna.
B
Be no as well.
A
It's definitely gonna be no as well. Yep. So. So there's that Libra.
B
Balanced.
A
Anchor way that you could put it. An anchor.
B
An anchor of your. You know what I mean?
A
Anchor is crazy to me. Libra. Indecisive. And that is the. The. The stereotypical one. Ind.
B
I don't think it's fair.
A
And that's a nice way to put it. I. I use the very neutral. I used the neutral term. I could have used the worst one. I don't think I use initial one. I think that that is very fair. Thank you. Scorpio.
B
No, thanks.
A
Fake deep. That's actually too. I'm going to say fake deep. You say, no, thanks.
B
Unremarkable.
A
Damn. Now you going to run up on a Scorpio. They going to really get you for that. You going to run up on a Scorpio. A Scorpio is going to. The fact that you just said that a Scorpio heard that and is plotting to enter your life and ruin your.
B
And that's why I said that's what.
A
They'Re plotting to do. Right up in their head. They said, I can't wait to get close to Jewel so I can show her who the I am. That's what they just said in their brain.
B
Good luck, sweet pea.
A
Sagittarius.
B
Guarded.
A
Guarded. Wow. Okay. What's thoughtless? Not thoughtless as in they don't have any thoughts. So, like, they're not. They don't think before they speak. Type. Thoughtless is.
B
That wasn't better.
A
That's the way I meant it. That's the way I meant it is. Y' all don't be giving no damn thought before y' all open the mouth and say the offensive thing because you didn't think it was offensive in your Sagittarius head.
B
Yeah, maybe they. Maybe they meant it just how they.
A
Said they did 100 of the time. They meant it exactly how they said it, and they had not a piece of an idea that that was going to be offensive. They're like, wait, that's a. That's considered mean. The fact that I think that you, you know, got a big head, it's like, wow. Yeah, that would be mean, actually. Okay. Capricorn. Stoic is. Is the word that I would choose.
B
I don't know the word for it, but, like, the word where people think they're more important than they are. Oh, that's how I feel about Capricorn.
A
That's fair. Another word that I would use for Capricorn is like goody two shoes or like teacher's pet. Teacher's pet actually is the one it's like, interesting. Ew. Aquarius. Cold would be my word. Personally.
B
Stubborn as hell.
A
That, too. That. Yes.
B
You do have to be one of God's strongest soldiers to do you really.
A
Do like you really do. As someone who actively likes Aquarius, it's one of my favorite signs.
B
I'd be fine for my life.
A
I already know. I already know. I already know. Okay. And then Pisces. Delusional. Delusional. Fun.
B
I think Pisces are so fun.
A
Okay.
B
I like when I think of Pisces, I think of Janae Aiko and I just think what a good time.
A
Fun. When you think of Janae Aiko. Yes. Fun is the first word. Like deranged doesn't come.
B
No, I think a whimsical. I think delusional, but in a fun way. I think like both extremely loving, but also will you up. Like I just. What a good time. Like that. Oh, I love. Like when I. Yeah.
A
You must not have had too many encounters with a Pisces man. Here's the issue with the Pisces man.
B
Why would I be involved in a Pisa with a Pisces man? Are you okay?
A
It's a good. It's a good. There's a good reason not to be. Michael B. Jordan is a Pisces man. For reference. But a Pisces man. It depends. If they are okay with the fact that they are more emotional than the average man is, a Pisces man is wonderful. If they are not okay because of toxic masculinity or societal reasons that they are more emotional than the average man, they're going to be the most toxic human being you've ever met in your life.
B
I would never interact with a Pisces man. That's just.
A
You shouldn't. They're going to border on abusive. They're going to be weird if they are not evolved and comfortable with the fact that they are a little bit more emotional because there's nothing wrong with that.
B
But a Pisces man.
A
A Pisces girl is fine. That's Rihanna. They're dreamy. You know, they're just like.
B
That doesn't give you the same vibe as Janae.
A
Let me just make sure Rihanna is a Pisces and not an Aquarius.
B
I know Meg is an Aquarius, but I think Rihanna's a Pisces.
A
I'm fairly certain. Astrological sign, not astrological chart. Yeah. She's a Pisces. Yeah.
B
She doesn't give you the same vibe as Janae.
A
Yes, actually, you know, so. Yeah. So, yeah. I think my issue more so is with Pisces men than it is with Pisces women. Y' all should be. Y' all are lovely. Y' all seem fine. In fact, I really like water sign women for the most part. I feel like they're very. Except for Scorpio. Scorpios don't even. They are water signs, but it's a whole different subset. You don't care, you know. Yeah. Water sign women are just very nurturing in general. They. They all have like this motherliness that.
B
Way for the people. For the people who Listening and are like me. Explain the moon and the rising. So if my Pisces is arising, then what does that mean?
A
That is such a good. Come on, journalist jewel period. That's what. That's what the. I'm talking about. Okay, so your rising sign is the constellation that was coming up over the horizon at the time of your birth.
B
Okay.
A
Okay. Which is different than where the sun was when you were born. The sun stays in one constellation for 30 days. Right?
B
Okay.
A
So that's why, you know, the sun is in Aries for 30 days, the sun is in Pisces for 30 days versus the world turns. That's how we get 24 hours, you know? So each constellation is constantly shifting over the horizon, so they change every two hours. So it is the constellation that was on the horizon when you were born, that is your rising sign. And then your moon sign, similarly to your sun sign, is just where the moon was when you were born. And that changes every two to two and a half days. So your eyes.
B
What does that mean? Like, versus, like, what is my rising time mean for me? Versus, like, my moon.
A
Got it. So your rising sign is the way that you look. Some people say that it is. Your outward demeanor is what people would guess you were. They would guess what your sign is. They are most likely to guess your rising sign or your midheaven, but that's a different but, yes, they're most likely to guess your rising sign because you kind of look like your rising sign, and you kind of move around the world externally like your rising sign. So for me, I'm a Capricorn rising. One of the most common things that I hear is that I seemed standoffish when people first met me. They thought I was a. I have resting face. They thought I was mean. They thought I was scary. And then they get to know me and they're like, oh, she's literally nothing like I thought she was. Like, yeah, that's the Capricorn Rising. I am so sorry. I don't. I don't know how to turn it off. I'll be trying to smile. That shit don't work.
B
That's how it happens.
A
Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what is versus you. You're a Pisces rising. So people probably read you as really sweet, really sensitive, and, like, just very kind. Overall, people are probably like, wow, look at this sweet little girl. Like, she seems so nice. Wow. And. And probably a little bit delusional, too. They probably think you're a little delusional.
B
Moving On. Moving on.
A
So there's that. Also, Pisces risings are known for looking like fish. Has anybody ever told you that you look like a fish? Do you feel like you.
B
Anybody ever said nothing about me looking like no fish? I ain't never good in my life.
A
That's like a Pisces thing. Like, if you have Pisces somewhere in your big three, you are very likely to look fishy. Like, your eyes would be a little bit more set up far set apart, and you just like, look a little. Look a little bit more fishy. I wouldn't look at you and be like, you look like a fish to me off the top of my head. But that's like a thing over in.
B
My dad house trying to see if they look like fish. Okay.
A
Try to see if they look like fish for a cancer rising. For, for example, they tend to look like the moon because cancer is. Is what? Is it owned? That's not the word. Cancer is ruled by the moon, and the moon is round. And said they tend to have really round, youthful faces. One of my best friends is a cancer rising, and she absolutely looks like that. So.
B
Yeah, interesting.
A
That's that on that. Worst sign ever to date. Worst sign ever to date. What do you think is the worst sign ever to date?
B
I would say Aries or a Scorpio.
A
Okay. Have you ever dated a Scorpio before?
B
Yes.
A
You have?
B
Yes. It wasn't poor to the core.
A
Did you say whore Did. I'm done. I'm done. She said y' all are hoes.
B
To the core. I mean, kept up his little thotty charade.
A
Wow. Just a thought box.
B
I mean, from the rooted to the suited. I'm not lying to you, Sequoia. That man was a hoe.
A
I'm done.
B
And I didn't even know it.
A
I hate that you didn't know.
B
I didn't even know it. No, he was really, like. He really seemed like a very charming man. And then I done found out that.
A
Yeah, no, I hate when somebody bait and switch on me. Like, if you're gonna be a hoe, be a hoe out loud. Be proud of your hoism. Why are you trying to bait and switch me?
B
That's the one that was starting, and then when I found out about it, blocked me.
A
Oh, son of a.
B
That's him.
A
Don't think we are. We. We coming back for you one day.
B
And so that's why I said the Scorpios is on the list, because not. You can't even take. I know you Ain't gonna take accountability.
A
No, that. Okay, that's very fair. Scorpio. A lot of people would have that same understanding.
B
Scorpio.
A
Yes. Drake is a Scorpio.
B
All righty.
A
Gemini and Scorpio are the two most hated signs every. I feel like anybody's going to answer one of those two, but seeing as I am a Gemini, I would never say that about us. I personally, I won't say this is the worst sign today. This is the sign that I probably would have the hardest time dating. It would be a Libra.
B
I knew it was gonna be a Libra.
A
I would have the hardest time.
B
It knew it would be. Yeah. And that's true because we be butt heads.
A
And I know because I dated one Libra man, and he was the one that, more than anybody else that I dated, irritated me. You know what I mean? He. It wasn't like. It wasn't like, oh, this is like, I hate this. It wasn't like, oh, I hate him, or like, whatever. Like, I can't be around him. Whatever. I really liked being around him. We had a great chemistry. And I was like, no, this is somebody that I. This feels like one of my best friends. That's why most of my friends are Libras, because that's how it always is. Which I'm like, these. These really are my best friends. And, like, sure, but when you have to date the.
B
Oh, it was like, libra men are different too.
A
He was getting on my nerves. He never answer a question directly or clearly. Like, it was. It was always some roundabout. Like, I was like, do you need attention? Like, why the. Can't you answer the question? And it'd be something. It wouldn't even be like a deep, like, you're about to get in trouble type question. It'd be like, oh, what'd you have for breakfast this morning? You know, I ate a little bit, and then I went on a run. Oh, okay. But what'd you have for breakfast? I haven't really broken my fast just yet, but I did have some morsels earlier. What were the morsels that you had earlier? Well, it depends on how much earlier you're asking, because I did eat something after midnight, so that could have been considered break. Do you know that I will punch you in your fucking nose?
B
Do you know who I think of? Do you know who's the poster child of a Libra man for me?
A
Who?
B
Clifford TI Harris. Which is exactly what the hell you just described. I mean, into traffic. Absolutely. A Libra. And you ain't never Heard him answer a question directly.
A
You know, he be wordy as.
B
I didn't ask you to give. To open the encyclopedia and the dictionary. I asked you to tell me what time it is. Like, you're pissing me off.
A
It just can't be that hard.
B
That is the definition of. When I think of a Libra man, I think of Clifford T. I. Harris, and I think he's a September Libra, too. Yeah.
A
Yes. The man that I dated was a September Libra.
B
Yes. That's a.
A
Why can't you just. My dad, May he rest in peace. Rest his soul also. Yeah.
B
He was a Libra.
A
A Libra man. Absolutely. A Libra man. Okay. Yeah. My dad was a Libra, and he let my mom. A cancer woman. And if you know anything about cancer, you know, they're very nurturing, but they're also absolutely not all here. They're not all here in the brain. They're just not. And he would just let her. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. It was. It was a very crazy dynamic.
B
Oh, my God. Was he. In September. October. Libra.
A
October.
B
Wow.
A
In October, Libra. And so for a long time, growing up, because. Oh, my God, I. I wouldn't say I was a daddy's girl, but I definitely admired my dad in a way that I did not quite admire my mom growing up, I wanted to be like my d. He was very stoic and very. He just was very cool. Cool, calm, collected, very cool demeanor. And I was like, ooh, I just want to be just like my dad. And as I grew up, I'm like, I couldn't be like my dad if I tried. First of all, if my life depended on it, I couldn't do it. I don't have that. I don't have any cool, calm, collected in my spirit, and I tend to attract people with it in their spirit, and it gets on my fucking nerve.
B
Yeah. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, I don't know. A Libra man that I would. That I would want.
A
Yeah.
B
To date.
A
Right.
B
The great friends. Have any Libra male friends? Actually.
A
Oh, I don't think I do.
B
No.
A
Either.
B
Yeah, I have Libra women friends. I definitely don't have Libra male friends.
A
Same. I have, again, all my. All my women friends are like. Y' all are just all. It's. It's actually crazy. Oh. But, yeah, I don't. Yeah, it's. And to be fair, the fact that we date men. Colors are pictures of these signs as well, because I, too, also. I'm not dating a Pisces, as I've said. I've already had the experience. You could keep it.
B
I don't, to be honest about that.
A
That's fair. Worst sign ever to live with. I think the stereotypical answer is a Virgo because their perfectionism and their cleanliness. And you only say that because you.
B
Live with a Virgo.
A
I do, but he's. He's. He's solid. He's. Oh, hello. He's a little.
B
In the world.
A
Okay. I didn't know why. Making a little. Okay. The screen just did a whole little excited explosion of. But yeah, a Virgo. A Virgo woman, I would imagine would be harder to live with than a Virgo man.
B
My mama was fine.
A
She really.
B
She was irritating because she used to be in my face when I didn't want to be bothered. But. But other than that, no, she wasn't bothersome.
A
Okay. She wasn't like a neat freak or like an organization.
B
I didn't care. So what now?
A
So what now?
B
Like, it's so funny now because she'll be like. She'll come to my house and I'll be like, I'm like, very clean. I'm always cleaning up. I love to clean. Like, it's my thing. And she's like, I wish that I could, like, take this person back to, like, your childhood. Because this is really funny, like, the audacity of you to enjoy this today. And I'm like, funny. You were bothered. I wasn't babes. I was living my childhood dreams, the life that I always was meant to live. I'm sorry that you had a bad time.
A
That is so funny.
B
Yeah. So I didn't care. But yeah, no, she wasn't bad to live with at all.
A
Okay. My mom, while she's not a Virgo, she's a. She has a Virgo stellium. And for those of you who don't know, a stellium is when you have three or more planets in one sign in your chart. So my mom is very. She has a very Virgo heavy chart. Even though it is not in her big three, it is absolutely damn near the rest of her chart. And so my mom was very much the neat freak organization. Everything must be fucking clean. And I never cleaned well enough to my mom's standards. And so she stopped asking and she started cleaning my room for me and doing all that for me because she was like, I don't have time for you to be talking about. It's done. And I look around and it's not Done.
B
Yeah. And the Aquarius isn't bad. I just had to he right outside the room, so he probably gonna come running here when he told me. Talking miss. I don't care. Aquarius ain't bad. I did have to. I think it took a little getting used to one another. I think Aquarius are so inward that, like, living with someone that requires you to, like, talk, express yourself.
A
Yes.
B
You can't just go be in a dark cloud without at least tell me you're gonna go be in a dark cloud before you go in there. Then I'll leave you alone because I know you're doing your depression thing. I don't know what's happening, but you're being an Aquarius.
A
Yeah.
B
You can't just go in there and do it and not say nothing. So I think it's taking a little work, but we. I don't got no problem with it.
A
Yeah. My first boyfriend was an Aquarius. You know. You know the white boy that I've shown y' all before that y' all laugh at.
B
I told you to stop claiming at me.
A
And I mean, he was an Aquarius and he was lovely.
B
Lovely is not a word that I would use, but, like, I would do it again, but lovely is not a word that I would use to describe them.
A
It was a nice. It was a nice experience. We had fun.
B
Because you were 15 and I was.
A
And we had our first kiss in. In Circuit City. Thank you. If that ages me at all. Indeed, yes, it did. And that's fine. That's okay. Earlier this episode, you heard me mention the Max Fun Drive to all of my listeners who have been with me since day one. This might be the first time you've heard of Max Fun Drive. I know you're wondering, what is Max OneDrive? It's the one time of year where we all come together to invite you to support the show as a member or by boosting or upgrading your current membership. What are memberships paying for, you ask? Max Fund memberships pay for shows, and you get to choose who gets your contribution. So, like, your contribution goes directly to black people. Love Paramore. You get to keep this show going so things like paying for editors, events so the show can stay up and running because y' all know content for and by black and brown people are being cut left and right. Becoming a member empowers your favorite creatives to create with the resources they need. I'm sure something you love, a TV show, a podcast, or something of the sort has been canceled within the last year or Two, because of corporate overlords didn't think the show made enough money, even though maybe they didn't even give it a chance because they didn't let it get past season one or two. But that's neither here nor there. Okay? That's why being a member is so important. It really is key because we don't have corporate overlords. You're our bosses. Okay? So you determine whether or not this show gets to keep existing. And I really appreciate that y' all do allow this show to keep existing. Membership is also important because it ensures that I can make the show the way that I want to make it for you to enjoy so I don't have to water it down for somebody else's liking. I can make it exactly the way that you and I like it. It's really that simple. So if you love black People Love Paramore and you want to see it grow and flourish and expand beyond our wildest dreams, become a member today if you can. You can either join, upgrade or boost your membership. To join, you can go to maximumfund.org join and you'll see all the membership tiers and shows to contribute to. Of course you will pick Black People Love Paramore. If you're already a member, you can upgrade your membership and receive some cool thank you gifts, especially this very cool show pin. With the membership, you'll get access to an entire library of bonus content for all the maximum fun shows for as little as five bucks a month. Or you can pay up front for a whole year and support if you'd like. I'll talk a little bit more about the bonus content you can expect to find from Black People Love Paramore a little bit later on, but for now let's jump back into the episode. Hmm. Should we do Fuck Mary, Kill, Leave Behind?
B
Because I already told you what I was doing. I told you yesterday when you made me mad that the Gemini's was going to be on the chopping block.
A
Wow. We are doing it by Element first of all. So we're not even doing it by individual sign.
B
Okay, so look.
A
Okay. Mary, Kill, Fire, Air, Earth, Water signs. Exactly. If you need a reminder, the fire signs are Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. The air signs are Gemini, Aquarius and Library. The Earth signs are Taurus, Capricorn and Virgo. And the water signs are Cancer, Pisces and Scorpio. Mary, Kill, Leave Behind Jewel. How you feeling on that? Or do you want me to go?
B
I only wanted to do it when I thought I could get rid Of Gemini.
A
You can't. Babe, we're in this together. They're either killing us or us both. Okay.
B
I would say water.
A
You water. Okay. We Cancer, Pisces and Scorpio. That's. That's probably good sex. Because allegedly Scorpios have good sex. I wouldn't know.
B
But Mary, Air.
A
Okay. We marry in Gemini. Aquarius, Libra. Period wifey material as we are.
B
Fire gats to go.
A
Okay. We getting rid of Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. And dead. You killing them or you leaving behind?
B
Killed.
A
Okay, okay. We killing them off. Okay.
B
Left behind is the Earth signs.
A
Okay, so we leave them behind. Taurus, Capricorn and Virgo. Okay. I worry mine might be very similar. Let me really think about this, okay? Okay. Okay. Actually, no, mine is not going to be similar at all. I'm gonna start with Mary. I would marry fire, Aries, Leo. Sagittarius. Fireside has never bothered me. In fact, again, Leo is my favorite.
B
Sequoia.
A
No, no, A Leo has never. A Leo is my favorite sign. And a fire sign in general has never bothered me. I like how people feel strongly about Aries like you do. I'm always like, what are you talking about? Like, I've never had a bad encounter. In fact, my one. The one Aries boy that I dated, all we did was roast each other. And it was so fun. All we did was just talk. It was just talk, talk, talk.
B
No, no.
A
And it was so fun.
B
My best friends, Aries and the Sagittarius.
A
Okay.
B
And also would never date them. Would go horribly wrong immediately.
A
That's very fair. Okay. Okay. And also, I don't have any fire in my chart at all. Like, not a single fire placement of any. Not. Not an angle in fire. I don't have a single single fire placement in my chart. And I feel like I therefore attract or am attracted to fire placements because they have something that I fully don't understand, is not in my purview. So I'm marrying fire now. Kill, leave behind, kill, Earth, leave behind. Okay, well, I'm not killing or leaving behind Gemini. So clearly we air because, yeah, I gotta Gemini, Aquarius, Libra. That wraps up most of my friends right there. Anyways, so then we killing versus leaving behind. I probably kill Earth just because them be needing a little bit too much structure. You know what I mean? I'll be like the structure. Y' all be criticizing people and getting on people's nerves. Teachers pet. Ass.
B
What did you say?
A
Your mama is a water sign.
B
Oh, okay.
A
So we Leaving them behind because they gonna weigh us down with too much tears. Too many tears, too much crying, all that. We don't have space, time, capacity for that.
B
Leaving your mother behind, and you're killing your fiance.
A
You put it that way.
B
Okay, go.
A
I just. I just said what I said. I just said. So that's the way that that works for me personally. To be fair, Garrick is a Leo stellium. So most of. Most of his chart, fire galore. Most of his chart is Leo, and his rising is in Sagittarius. Moon in Leo rising, Sagittarius. And the rest of his chart is like Leo, Leo, Leo, Leo. His chart. His chart looks like a sociopath chart. If you pull up and look, if I showed you with no context, if you're somebody who's never looked at an astrological chart before and I showed you a normal one or a common one, and then I showed you Gary, she would say, is he. Is something wrong? No, you would say, is he.
B
Is something wrong? He does have a little fire. Like, I'm always surprised when it comes out. But it does exist.
A
Yes, it. It. Absolutely. It exists really, really strongly as someone who lives in himself. That's why I had to keep. You know, if we're really going by dominance, my man's a safe. At the end of the day, he's good. So. And then, in addition to why I'm leaving my mom behind is because she has imparted all of her wisdom into me already. You know what I mean? I feel like I. I'll carry her with me in spirit as she goes ahead and tries to find her own way out of the apocalypse. Because I had to leave her behind because I didn't have room for the tears and the crying. So there's really that at the end of the day.
B
Okay? As long as you feel good about it, that's all that matters.
A
I do. Yeah. I felt. I felt pretty good about that. And then while we're talking about the witchy subjects, you know, we got tarot crystals, botanical shops, herbs, angel numbers manifesting. There's a lot to this witch girl. Okay? Astrology is the. Is just the intro. You really want to get deep down and dirty with a real witch. You're talking to one right now. She right here. You know what I mean? I' ma hit a little tarot card. I'm gonna pull a little tarot card. Every now and again, I start to feel a little questioning about something. We hitting the tarot deck. I'm shuffling that, and we're gonna See what she got to say. What the. What tarot loves to say to me. This is not gonna mean nothing. Usual. I'll explain it.
B
Not a thing. Go on. But I'm listening.
A
The card that loves to follow my ass around is the tower card. The tower card is, like, sudden destruction is what the tower card represents. So, like, the image of a tower card is this big structure, a tower, where a lightning bolt is hitting it and it is falling in half. Like it's broken in half and falling over. Death. Not like actual death, but, like the hard endings. I. That's just the card that has followed me around, literally, for the entire.
B
Do you feel turmoil and death? No. Okay.
A
No, not really. So maybe everybody else feels that around me. I don't really know.
B
But for me to decipher.
A
But that's. I'm happy to pull a car for you, Jewel, and we can find out.
B
I've only done tarot cards once or twice, and it was fine. I don't. I don't remember what it said, so I don't.
A
So I must not have said nothing crazy, because it really is. Sometimes they can shake you.
B
I think one time I felt like it was telling me to leave a man alone. But I mean, really, the heavens, the Earth, my friends, my mama, my cousins, the Bible, everybody had told me that. So that wasn't really telling me nothing new, you know? But, yeah, I don't. But I'm not opposed to.
A
Not anti tarot. No, you're not anti witchy at all. You're not witchy, but you're not anti.
B
I'm not witchy, but I'm like, if you like it, I love it. You know what I'm saying?
A
I do, yeah.
B
There are parts of astrology that I'm like, it's got to be something to this, because I know you in that cluster, and I don't like it. I don't like that cluster. So it's got to be something to it.
A
That cluster don't hit for you personally.
B
I can't tell you why. I can only tell you that the pattern is there.
A
So, you know, that's fair. You know, I never like Capricorns off rip. Like, it's always something about a Capricorn immediately. Like, if I meet a person and my initial reaction is, don't like them, the likelihood that they are capricorn is like 8 out of 10. And I wonder if that has to do with something with me being a Capricorn rising and that not rubbing me right. You know, like something about the energy is not rubbing me, Right. Because it's almost immediate. And then I almost always thoroughly like them once I get to know them.
B
You know, I've messed with a few Capricorn men.
A
Oh. And like you, you like a. With money. Capricorn men spent a good time until.
B
I gotta cuss you out. But. But I, I don't. But I don't regret the cussing out because I had a good time first. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's okay. They're all good. Things gotta come to an end.
A
That's how I feel about it personally too. I'm like, yeah, it don't have to be. You know, it's not all bad just.
B
Because I don't have nothing bad to say about them. I had a good time until I had to cuss them out. And then that was it.
A
Until we threw hands. I don't understand why we can't fight people and then just go back to being friends.
B
That you said you're Capricorn Rising.
A
Yeah, always. That's what I always want to do.
B
I'm like, I dealt with. Felt like that too. And I said that once I cussed you out. You are blocked, unfortunately.
A
And that's always so aggressive and crazy to me. When I look up and people really be mad at me, I'm like, whoa.
B
Once we get to fighting, that's it.
A
I thought we was just fighting for sport and fun.
B
That is it.
A
Once we start fighting, like, really mad, see yourself out.
B
Now it's making sense. Because you do do that. And I'm like, sequoia, you cannot piss people off, engage in full out war, and then be like, talk to you tomorrow.
A
I be like, y', all. Y' all didn't go to Sparta. Y' all don't believe in war and.
B
No, actually I believe in peace for.
A
For sparring and. And see, this why I like to go boxing. That's why I be sparring.
B
I realized that that was your mo. It helped me in my spirit. Because now I know you ain't even really mad. You playing not a sport. No, I'm not gonna argue with you. And you playing.
A
I'll be ready to move on, like, immediately and be. I don't know. That's another thing about a Gemini, though. It's not.
B
Yeah, I think that's.
A
That is Gemini. And also Gemini's don't hold grudges worth a damn at all. Like, you never. I don't. I just don't. I just don't care. Unless you re. Now Let me tell you something. I'm gonna hold a grudge about my money and my job. Don't ever play with my money. Don't play with my job. And that's the Capricorn Rising. I will beat you within an inch of your life if you play my money in my job.
B
I don't know what it is in me, in my chart, but I will hold a grudge.
A
That's the Taurus Moon, babe.
B
For dear life.
A
That is a Taurus Moon. Absolutely.
B
One of my friends the other day was talking about somebody that we don't like, and she said, I will let it go. And I said, and I won't. You let.
A
That could also be Libra, though, because Libra loves justice. And if you feel like something is injustice and imbalance and balance has not.
B
Been restored, give a lot of chances. Once you have gotten on the list, it is a lifetime membership. You will not be removed from the list.
A
Wow.
B
And I will not forget it. I won't think about it every day, but if I'm reminded, I will remember immediately that no.
A
Wow.
B
There is courage.
A
Now, let's guess some signs of some characters from television. Oh, no. And these are. These are all hypothetical, because we don't know these people's signs. We don't know nothing like that. Issa D from Insecure. Not. Not Issa Rae, but Issa D From Insecure. Issa D. If I had to give her something, she has. She has Libra. To me. No. It's like a touch of chaos. Like, nothing crazy. It's like a touch of chaos, but also just like a very likability. That's something else about a Libra. People love Libra. Israel by Venus. She has, like, a likability that is still very present.
B
Interesting.
A
She definitely has an assistant aesthetic. I feel like Issa D. Definitely had an aesthetic, and that is something that Libra is known for as well. I would give her Libra. Do you have anything or are you aligned with what I said?
B
That feels fair. I was. I was trying to figure out I was in the Air family, but Libra feels fair.
A
I could also see Aquarius, though. If I'm thinking about the Air family, I can see Aquarius. Yeah, that makes sense, too. Now, Molly, for me, Molly is a Capricorn. Hard and fast. It's not even close.
B
I can see that.
A
Like, I'm like, that's. That is a judgmental, overachieving, fun sucking Capricorn. Please. Not too much. Not too much. As a Capricorn Rising. I hear these things on Myself, I get it.
B
I would have said maybe Sagittarius, but I could see Capricorn.
A
I could see Sagittarius, too, though. And that's another. That's a lesser known thing about astrology, too. The signs, when you go in order. Because Sagittarius is the sign before Capricorn.
B
Right.
A
Sometimes they will have traits of that previous sign, but they will be the evolved version of. So instead of being like a Sagittarius, were like. Oh, I didn't think about how that was going to offend you before I said it. It's like.
B
No, I thought about it and I still said it.
A
And I decided to say it intently for a reason.
B
Yikes.
A
No, Yeah. I thought about it. I knew. Yeah. And the party's over. You know, Sagittarius love to. Party's over. It's Capricorn season. We ain't partying no more. That's. That's how the sequence of signs work. So, okay, so we got Molly. You said Sagittarius, I said Capricorn. That makes sense. Who else do we have? What's. Oh, Lawrence. Oh, let me look at a list. Not an Aries. Could be a Taurus. Just because I'm bored and, like, unspecial. Gemini. Absolutely not.
B
No, he's not a Gemini.
A
Cancer? Nah, wouldn't say cancer. Leo? No. Virgo? No. Libra? Could be. Could be. Could be Scorpio. No.
B
No.
A
Sagittarius? No. Capricorn? No. Aquarius? No. Pisces? No. Okay. Huh. You would what?
B
I would. I wouldn't be opposed to Pisces man, but I can see Libra.
A
You know what? Since you said Pisces man, the man really hit me. Absolutely. Could be a Pisces man. I could see Taurus man. Libra man. Or Pisces man. So I'm gonna say Taurus just because he's so unnotable to me. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, yeah, that's a Taurus.
B
He.
A
Yeah. Not one way or another. Don't elicit a strong emotion one way or another. I. I don't want to say I was Team Lawrence and that I was not Team Issa. I was Team Issa first and foremost. But I absolutely did want them to get back together.
B
That's.
A
Happy.
B
Never crossed my mind.
A
I'm in the minority for women, in that I wanted. I love a love story where this is your person and you all find your way back to each other. I love that shit. I was like, yes, Issa, get your man insecure.
B
Was too triggering for me. I'm like, I ain't cheated on nobody. I ain't did none of this. And why is it making me feel.
A
Unwell in my spirit?
B
I just couldn't. I had to take breaks from Insecure. It was too much.
A
Really.
B
Oh, yes.
A
Wow.
B
I don't know what it was about Insecurity that just felt very deeply like something was going on in my spirit. I don't know.
A
Season one of Insecure was my exact life at that time, except I was much younger.
B
That's very crazy.
A
What? 22, 23. When season one of Insecure came out, that was my exact life at the time. It was actually really crazy. So I felt very seen by that. Who else is on Instagram? What's. What's. What's. What's the light skinned man with the colored eyes? Oh.
B
Nathan.
A
Nathan. Huh? Nathan. He. I'm gonna call him an unremarkable man. I'm gonna call him an Aries man. Only by the way that he was willing to lunge at Lawrence when they got into it over Issa. That's that type of. That I like. That's what I'm. That's what the I'd be talking about, girl.
B
If you like it, I love it.
A
And the only heiress man that I dated, oh, my God, the only Irish man I did, we would go out and this. Every time we went out, he was about to fight somebody for one reason or another. He was about to fight somebody in the club.
B
I'll never date another Aries man. You can mark my words about it. I ain't never experienced them about to fight nobody. But it is this.
A
Yep. Popping it.
B
You. You talking a little too much. And I would hate to cuss you out because you're really going there. And I'm gonna take it back. You take it there, and I'm gonna take it there too. So everybody calm down.
A
You take it there. I'm taking it further. That's something you don't want to do.
B
Oh, here we are. But yeah, okay, okay, that's fair.
A
And then what's. What's Amanda Seals character? Tiffany. Tiffany. Tiffany is a Virgo woman to me or a Capricorn Earth sign woman. But Capricorn or Virgo. I'm gonna land on Virgo, though. And then Natasha Rothwell's character. What's her. What's. What's that character name? Damn.
B
Kelly.
A
Kelly. Oh, now, okay, Kelly could be a Gemini. Kelly could be a Libra Kelly. Or Sagittarius.
B
Kelly's hard Sag. I could see Libra sad. Maybe it's sad because sad don't be giving a damn about what's going on. Sagittarius. Like, my Sagittarius friends are like, okay. I mean, pay no attention.
A
I can see Sash because she was always doing some for the plot. Like, Kelly was just doing stuff. Then it was like, why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? She was like, kind of a free spirit in the way that Sagittarius likes to be. Yeah, I can see that for them. Okay. I mean, you know what? I think we can close on this.
B
Our.
A
Controversial takes on certain signs. Do you have any controversial takes for any of the signs?
B
I don't think I do.
A
Okay.
B
Oh, I guess what I will say, I don't know if it's super controversial, but every time I tell people I'm dating an Aquarius, they seem to say, like, how? Like, they're so stubborn and non committal. And I did not experience that.
A
So she said it could be me, babe. Yeah.
B
People are like, how did you get him to commit? And I'm like, well, I know you didn't think I was out here begging somebody to commit, so I don't know what you want me to like.
A
I don't know. He did it because he wanted to.
B
So I don't know. I do hear that a lot that Aquariuses are non committal and that they're very, like, hard to pin down. And I do think they can be very inward and very to themselves. But I've never experienced non committal. Even from the Aquarius man that I did before, I've never. I've never experienced that.
A
Me neither. I feel like that might be a air sign thing where it's like they commit to us because we're also air signs a little. You know, maybe they just understand something. I don't know. My controversial take, which I've said on the Internet more than once at this point. Here we go. Is that Libra deserves the slander that Gemini gets is. Is the likes of you, y'. All. You all deserve that slander. Geminis get the slander for being, quote, unquote, two faced.
B
Yes.
A
The Gemini is not too faced. A Gemini is decisive and changed their entire mind. A Virgo will never tell you what they landed on. They're never gonna tell you what they landed on.
B
You see what I'm saying?
A
A Libra is never gonna tell you what they landed on. They just gonna be. I never. I don't know. I don't know.
B
I. I Feel like if a Gemini is changed, I feel like Gemini changed their minds for the plot. Geminis don't even be standing on nothing when they change their mind. Why would I respect that Gemini don't.
A
Even be standing on nothing when they change it. How can I re. Now, let me think about that. Hold on.
B
Why would I.
A
You know what I'm saying, Santa? No, that's a fact. Yeah, no, I, I, I can't get behind it, sister. I like a mental exercise, if you will. You know what I mean? So I will take on the stance of the lesser, the less popular thing.
B
This is not the sat. It's not the L set.
A
That's real life mental stimulation. No, I'm not taking mental.
B
It's not.
A
And it's really fun. It's, it's, it's like. It's kind of like how, you know, runners say that they experience runners high. That's exactly what it is. It's like, oh, I'm high off the mental stimulation of taking on, you know, the lesser popular opinion here and defending it in a. In a very good and sound way. It's an exercise, a debate exercise, if you will.
B
Down here in reality, people deal in reality, they dealing with. They actually believe what they actually mean, what actually matters.
A
Lame Rowdy says, have you been here?
B
Yes. Yes, I have. And that's why I do think you have to firmly plant your foot in.
A
Something y' all can finally I do in this fertilizer. I don't want to be. I don't want my feet in here. I don't want shitty feet.
B
Well, you just float around.
A
I'm a fly. I'm a float. You just fly like a butterfly, sing like a bee. Because I'm an air sign. You know what I mean? Okay. That's really it. Also for all you astrological haters out there who are like, I don't believe in astrology, and I don't like it. And why are you talking about this? It's not a religion. It's not something that you believe in. You either understand it or you don't. You speak the language or you don't. And if you don't move around, that's okay. There are so many other languages that you can speak. Okay. And as a Gemini, I probably see speak all of them, so go for it. If you would like to. What podcast you listen to today? Jewel somebody.
B
It was. I was listening to a religious podcast for research purposes, for work, and they were dragging astrology. And I'm like, why? Like, please dang why are we on.
A
Your brain so hard? The astrology don't be like, Christianity sucks. Nobody be thinking it's not a religion. Nobody be thinking about that. Focus on what you're focused on. Focus, Worry about what you're doing over there. We worry about what we're doing over here. Okay?
B
We can't have fun no more. It's ridiculous.
A
Like, I don't, I don't appreciate that. Yeah, that's really it. If you would like to find me, you can find me across all social media platforms at BPLP POD or my personal at Sequoia B. Holmes or you can find me at Black people love paramore gmail.com Also, if you want to listen to me literally every day, live, on air, unfiltered, unedited, you can find me on Sirius XM on the unwell on air channel every day, 3 to 4pm Pacific, 6 to 7pm Eastern, on a show called the Daily Dirty. Yeah. Inside Edited there. And it's. And it's very fun. Oh, and also if you like merch, you know, go down to the description box, click the mocha grande shirt, proud Mocha Grande shirt and get your Mocha Grande on. That'll be a little bit fun, especially during Wicked season. Wear it to the Wicked 2 premiere. That's what my praying plan is. The Wicked 2 premiere. Yeah. Proud Mocha Grande shirt will see me. Jewel. Let the folks know where they can find you on the Internets and anything you would like to plug.
B
Yeah, my social media. Social media is at jewelwickershow across all platforms and I post my work there. I'm just so proud of you, friend. You're doing such a great job. Congrats on all the things.
A
Thank you. I really appreciate you. Okay, well, that's it. See you in a couple weeks. Happy astrological New Year. Bye. So that's all for the episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Please remember to support your favorite artist, me today. Become a maximum fun member and support black people up here more. If you've never been a Max Fund member, try it out for as little as $5 a month and enjoy some bonus content. If you're already a member and you'd like to support a little bit more, we would certainly appreciate you upgrading your membership or even boosting it by a few dollars per month or so. Please do it now. Before you forget, don't forget, please go now. Thank you.
Host: Sequoia Holmes
Co-host: Jewel Wicker
Date: March 20, 2025
Episode Theme: A deep, humorous, and candid exploration of astrology's role in Black social life, personalities, dating, and pop culture—celebrating the astrological new year with hot takes, personal stories, and sign stereotypes.
On this special "Astrology II" episode, Sequoia and Jewel dive back into astrology just in time for the astrological new year (Aries season). They provide enlightening and often hilarious perspectives on zodiac signs, reflecting on how signs show up in their lives, relationships, and Black culture at large. The episode is filled with direct experiences, playful sparring, pop culture references, and even a mock "FMK" (F***, Marry, Kill) segment by elements.
"[Aries are] the babies of the zodiac…You run off instinct. You don't run off sense too much."
– Sequoia (02:21)
"Aries is the one sign where…they all try me…it's like, why would you send me two of them?"
– Jewel (03:45)
"Virgo—they have already clocked every single flaw that you have within 15 minutes of meeting you."
– Sequoia (12:54)
On Libra men:
– "Do you know that I will punch you in your nose?" – Sequoia (26:33)
– "When I think of a Libra man, I think of Clifford T.I. Harris, and you ain't never heard him answer a question directly." – Jewel (26:51)
"If you're gonna be a hoe, be a hoe out loud. Be proud of your hoism. Why are you trying to bait and switch me?"
– Sequoia (23:56)
"Worst sign ever to date? Aries or a Scorpio."
– Jewel (23:08)
"Libra deserves the slander Gemini gets is…The likes of you, y'all…A Libra is never gonna tell you what they landed on."
– Sequoia (54:59)
"Sometimes they can shake you…one time I felt like it was telling me to leave a man alone. But, I mean, really—the heavens, the Earth, my friends, my mama, my cousins, the Bible, everybody had told me that."
– Jewel (42:42)
| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------| | 01:56 | Introduction to Aries Season & Astrological New Year| | 03:32 | Aries Recurring in Jewel's Life + Sign Stereotypes | | 06:41 | Sharing Big Three Placements | | 10:44 | One-word Descriptors for Each Sign | | 19:33 | Explanation of Sun, Moon, Rising | | 23:08 | Worst Sign(s) to Date | | 26:33 | Sequoia's Libra Man Anecdote | | 35:24 | "F***, Marry, Kill, Leave Behind" Zodiac Elements | | 41:36 | Tarot, Crystals & Witchy Black Girl Magic | | 46:39 | Guessing Zodiac Signs for "Insecure" Characters | | 53:36 | Controversial Sign Takes | | 54:59 | Libra-Gemini "Slender" Debate | | 56:59 | Astrology as a Language, Not a Belief System |
Bright, irreverent, honest, and rooted in Black culture—Sequoia and Jewel keep it playful but incisive, stressing that astrology is less about fate and more about shared references, self-reflection, and community in Black circles.
Whether you’re an astrology lover, casual skeptic, or scene Black kid who’s tired of hiding your tarot cards—this episode delivers the insight, laughs, and cultural commentary that Black People Love Paramore is known for.