The Princess Diaries

Summary

Podcast Summary: Black People Love Paramore

Episode: The Princess Diaries

Date: August 6, 2026

Host: Sequoia Holmes
Co-hosts: Jewel Wicker
Theme: A humorous, lively deep-dive into the beloved Y2K Disney film The Princess Diaries and its unique place in Black pop culture memory, exploring nostalgia, Black girlhood, and representation through the lens of a cherished childhood favorite.

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Episode Overview

This episode sees hosts Sequoia and Jewel embarking on a nostalgic, comedic, and culturally aware dissection of The Princess Diaries. While the film itself is not explicitly Black, it is affectionately positioned as a “Black People’s Princess” movie and explored in the context of how certain pop culture figures, movies, or music become beloved in Black communities. With candid recollections, they examine the film's plot, soundtrack, key characters, and the cultural messages embedded in its iconic makeover narrative, all while offering personal reflections from childhood to adulthood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Anne Hathaway – The "Black People's Princess"

• Anne Hathaway claimed as “one of ours”
  • Despite being white, Anne Hathaway is humorously discussed as a candidate for “saving” should a race war break out—a testament to her affection within Black pop culture.
  • [00:19] “She is not black, but you know what I mean. She's like one of black—I feel like is one of black people's people, you know, she is one of ours.” – Sequoia

2. Film Synopsis & Core Narrative

• Rapid-fire plot summary with jokes
  • Mia, a 15-year-old in San Francisco, discovers she is heir to the Genovian throne; her estranged (or "deadbeat") grandmother arrives to prepare her for royalty in a tight timeline.
  • [01:05] “Debbie, Grandma is like, yo, somebody gotta take over this throne. Because if, if you don't take it in a few weeks ... people that's not Genovian, they're gonna take it.” – Sequoia

3. The Y2K Soundtrack & VHS Nostalgia

• The legendary, genre-spanning soundtrack:
  • Includes R&B, pop, Myra's “Miracles Happen,” Bewitched, and Mandy Moore (playing Lana).
  • The hosts reminisce on rewinding VHS tapes for Mandy Moore scenes and the “Supergirl” mistaken-for-Pink moment.
  • [03:53] “If you were to tell me that in 2026, you still thought it was Pink, that's gonna piss me off.” – Jewel

4. Characters & Their Archetypes

• Lily as the “worst” best friend:
  • Lily’s insensitivity becomes comedic fodder (“It’s been, what, two months?” re: Mia’s dad dying.)
  • [38:01] “Hey, I thought you had gotten over that. It's been, what, two months?” – Lily via Jewel/Sequoia
• Joe the Chauffeur – MVP:
  • Praised for being everything: security, driver, bodyguard, grandma’s lover, confidant.
  • [08:29] “He's the chauffeur. He's also security. He be running press sometimes ... what is going on here?” – Jewel
• Mia & Hollywood’s “Invisible Girl” Trope:
  • Sequoia and Jewel question the extremity and relatability of feeling “invisible” in high school.

5. The Makeover Scene & Black Hair Politics

• Cultural critique of the iconic makeover:
  • Explored with present-day awareness about straightening curly hair, anti-glasses bias, and Black girlhood.
  • Childhood perms, Black hair care, and representation discussed lightheartedly but thoughtfully.
  • [14:29] “[The grandma] says, turn. Turn for me slowly. She started assessing her … What in the Tyra Banks is happening?” – Sequoia

6. Setting—San Francisco as a Character

• Rejection of the NYC setting in the book:
  • The hosts praise San Francisco as more “fun” and “eccentric” and note its rare characterization in mainstream films, especially pre-tech-boom.
  • [11:47] “The charm of, like, the San Francisco streets ... is a fun character in this movie.” – Jewel

7. Book vs. Movie Differences

• Dad’s status (alive in book, dead in film), city shift, and tonal contrasts
  • Both agree the basic premise (“find out you’re royal in a few weeks or else!”) works better as a children’s book than a film.

8. Critical Friendship and Wealth Dynamics

• Popular kids, social caste, and “haves vs. have-nots”:
  • Extended sidebar about the reality (or not) of high school cliques, with particular reflection on Blackness as insulation from certain tropes.
  • Segues into color and class divides within Black public school experiences.

9. First Kiss Stories & Parental Relationships

• Compare/contrast the open parent/daughter dynamic in the movie with real lives:
  • Jewel and Sequoia swap funny, awkward, and candid stories about their own first kisses, highlighting the gulf between movie fantasy and adolescent reality.
  • [32:30] “My first kiss was in a Circuit City … it was with the white boy that I talk about regularly on this podcast.” – Sequoia

10. Representation, Colorism, and Black Girlhood

• Effects of makeover narratives on Black self-esteem:
  • Discussion about hair straightening, childhood perms (“catastrophic”), and how Black girls related to (or felt excluded by) films’ transformation tropes.
  • [20:15] “I don't even know if I associated that I had curly hair by the time the Princess Diaries came out. … My hair was straight for my whole life.” – Jewel

11. Standout Quotes & Memorable Riffs

• [25:21] “You let people sit on you kind of way. … Girl, get up. Like, what is happening?” – Sequoia
• [39:05] "I can't see how she said that out loud. I'm sorry. I can see how she got there in her brain. How she said it out loud and then doubled down on it? I can't.” – Jewel
• [46:07] “Mad at my little baby Birkin. And when I told you I was a princess, you made it about you ...” – Sequoia

12. The Supporting Cast: Lana and the Lanettes, Mandy Moore & Sandra Oh

• Mandy Moore’s villainous performance as Lana, and the absurd group name “Lana and the Lanettes.”
• Sandra Oh’s standout role as Principal Gupta, and jokes about actor/character confusion.

13. Cultural Legacy—Why The Princess Diaries Endures

• Anne Hathaway’s continued stardom and intentional privacy celebrated (“Don’t nobody know what Anne Hathaway has going on in her life” – Jewel, [59:11]).
• Debate over rumored sequels and whether they are necessary or good ideas.

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Notable Timestamps

• [00:19 – 02:43]: Opening context, Anne Hathaway as “ours,” and plot summary.
• [03:41 – 06:46]: Soundtrack discussion—Supergirl/Pink confusion, Mandy Moore, Y2K musical nostalgia.
• [08:05 – 10:10]: Joe the Chauffeur as everyone’s favorite.
• [14:29 – 16:24]: Hilarious and critical breakdown of the makeover scene; Julie Andrews fandom.
• [19:22 – 20:26]: Childhood hair experiences; perms, “just for me” relaxers, and their impact.
• [29:00 – 34:00]: First kiss stories; candid comparison of movie fantasy vs. real awkwardness.
• [38:01 – 40:26]: The most egregious Lily line (“it’s been two months”); friendship dynamics.
• [44:18 – 45:30]: The infamous “forgot to call you” excuse and Princess Mia’s (lack of) accountability.

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Most Memorable Moments (Quotes w/ Speaker & Timestamp)

• [01:05] Sequoia: “Debbie, Grandma is like, yo, somebody gotta take over this throne … she comes to San Francisco to meet her 15 year old granddaughter for the first time on some deeply deadbeat.”
• [03:53] Jewel: “If you were to tell me that in 2026, you still thought it was Pink, that's gonna piss me off.”
• [14:29] Sequoia: “She started assessing her ... What in the Tyra Banks is happening.”
• [20:15] Jewel: “I don't even know if I associated that I had curly hair by the time the Princess diaries came out ... My hair was straight for my whole life.”
• [38:01] Jewel: “Hey, I thought you had gotten over that. It’s been, what, two months?”
• [59:11] Jewel: "What a lovely human, you know? I also really respect that don’t nobody know what Anne Hathaway has going on in her life.”

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Episode Tone and Style

• Language & Tone: Warm, witty, and irreverent—full of inside jokes, playful exaggerations, and moments of introspection. The dialogue feels like a conversation among close friends at a sleepover, mixing sharp cultural critique with affectionate nostalgia.
• Approach: The hosts oscillate between lighthearted teasing, genuine affection for the material, and pointed cultural commentary, using their lived Black girl experiences as a lens to analyze what the film got right (and wrong).

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Final Thoughts

• The Princess Diaries holds a special, slightly subversive place in Black pop culture memory, functioning as an unexpected safe space and touchstone for Black women who didn’t always see themselves in these stories but claimed them anyway.
• The film’s enduring appeal lies in its comfort, aesthetic, soundtrack, and the possibility of transformation—even as the hosts note its problematic elements.
• Anne Hathaway—forever the people's princess (if not literally ours)—remains unbothered, beloved, and largely mysterious, to the delight of Sequoia and Jewel.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Seen the Episode

This episode is an entertaining, laughter-filled, and insightful trip down memory lane, weaving in broader commentary on nostalgia, beauty standards, and Black childhood in the 2000s. Whether you grew up loving The Princess Diaries or never saw it at all, the hosts make it a fun and meaningful exploration of why some pop culture relics—however “random”—resonate so deeply.

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Welcome to Black People Love Paramore, a podcast not about the band Paramore, but a show, pop culture show about the common and uncommon interests of black people. And in order to help us feel a little bit more seen. I'm Sequoia. That is Jewel. Yes. We were talking about the Princess Diaries, a classic featuring the black princess. The black people's princess. An Hathway. She is not black, but you know what I mean. She's like one of black. I feel like is one of black people's people, you know, she is one of ours. Yeah. I feel like black people kind of with an. In a way that we. With very few white people in the race war, she would be one of the people we would consider saving. Consider.

[A]

She's not out, but she is saved.

[B]

She's not at the cookout because none of them are.

[A]

Y' all learn at the cookout. But she can remain.

[B]

You know what I mean? In the race war, she may be. Okay. Okay. So the Princess Diaries. If I had to describe the Princess Diaries, I had to summarize the plot of the Princess Diaries off the top of my head. I've seen this movie 800 times, so I feel like I should be able to do this. But we know sometimes I get in here and it be. It be foolishness. So the Princess Diaries is a coming of age film about a young woman who learns that she is the natural born heir to the Genovan throne after her father passes away. Her long lost grandmother. I guess she's not really long lost, she's kind of deadbeat. Yeah, deadbeat is more accurate. Like she knew about the grandma and the grandma knew about her. But like they had never interacted before. Debbie, Grandma is like, yo, somebody got to take over this throne. Because if, if you don't take it

[A]

in a few weeks.

[B]

In a few weeks. Because if you don't take it somebody then people that's not Genovian, they're gonna take it. And we don't want that. And so she comes to San Francisco to meet her 15 year old granddaughter for the first time on some deeply deadbeat. And they bond. She teaches her stuff, princess stuff. And Mia, the princess has a decision to make. Whether or not she wants to take the Genovan throne or she wants to remain a normal girl in San Francisco and invisible in her own words. If you think I did a fantastic job, rate me five, six. Six crowns in the comment. You can drop six.

[A]

Thank you. Princess Diaries. For sure.

[B]

Thank you. I, I also, I. I feel like I did a pretty Good job. I think we can jump right in. I think we can jump right in. So I watched this yesterday for the first time in maybe a year. I watched this one kind of commonly.

[A]

Oh, you watch it, like, regularly as an adult?

[B]

I do watch it regularly as an adult. It's one of my favorite ones. You know, like, if it's on a plane, the likelihood that I watch it is high. If Creed is not an option, because that will. That is what I will always watch on a plane.

[A]

Picking between Creed and the Princess Diaries is nuts. But okay, go on.

[B]

You know what I mean? It's like nostalgia. Whichever one Michael B. Jordan is in, I don't care which one he's in. All of them. Exactly. So whichever creed they have available on the plane is the Creed that I'm gonna watch. It's that or it is the Intern, which is another Anne Hathaway movie.

[A]

I don't know what that is.

[B]

Look, it's so good. You. I think you're, like. It's just very heartwarming, very sweet, you know, 20 tens.

[A]

Oh, okay. I was gonna, like, what year? Yeah.

[B]

Yes, 2020. It was a great one. But anyways, I watched this movie. First thing that sticks out to me right away, we hear Supergirl. You remember that song?

[A]

If you were to tell me that in 2026, you still thought it was Pink, that's gonna piss me off.

[B]

I can't believe that's not Pink. I can't believe Pink didn't make that song. Who the hell is Crystal Harris?

[A]

Here's. Here's a very millennial thing. I had the Princess Diaries on vhs. Oh, no. Me. And at the end of the Princess Diaries, this is. This is what I think about these. This occurrence. I think about Honey, and I think about the Princess Diaries. Because sometimes at the end of the movie, if you stay to the end, you can see a music video for Honey. It was. I'm good. I'm good with that. And it was banging on the trash cans. That was Honey with Missy Elliott in it. And for the Princess Diaries, it was I'm Super Girl. She was in the diner. So I knew it went pink.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Because Pink was a black lady in my brain. And that lady wasn't black.

[B]

Pink was a black. To be fair, if you look at this lady, she gives a. As a response to pink. You know, she does give.

[A]

Oh, we need a Pink.

[B]

We need. We need safe pink. We need Disney pink. We need a pink. You know, I mean, pink had a little edge to her. You never. You was never really sure. What she gave a little Negro. She was making songs. Shorty got a job. Shorty got a car. Shorty can pay her own rent.

[A]

Once you figure out that Pink was making her early music in Atlanta, Georgia, with Atlanta producers, things start to click and make more sense.

[B]

And I wonder where Crystal was making her early music, because it's looking funny.

[A]

Crystal was just making music that sounded like Pink. It didn't matter where she was. They just. That was the inspo board. That was the music. And that. I wish her well.

[B]

Hey, I really do. The soundtrack overall for the Princess diaries, such a Y2K little time capsule. It has pop, it has R B. It has Myra's Miracles Happen, which is still on my manifestation playlist to this day. Love Miracles Happen. I put that as a song when. When my podcast was featured on the Billboard. Miracles Happen very much. Bewitched was on here. Mandy Moore, she was in the movie and she had music on the soundtrack. Mandy was getting paid twice. And then, of course, Crystal, as we talked about. Soundtrack was good. This is when they cared.

[A]

Rewind again. The vhs. I used to rewind it for Mandy Moore's parts to recite the songs that Mandy Moore. The Cheers and the songs. Stupid. You feel me? I would rewind it and play it several times because I just loved Mandy Moore. She was not a nice person, but I like your character.

[B]

Yeah, I like.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I liked her character, too. I'm like, wow, she's again, I always liked Amin, like, the leader. Her little followers got on my nerves because, like, as you know, they're followers. Yeah, that's annoying to me. But yeah, the. The lead girl. I was always kind of. I was kind of with it.

[A]

She ate that.

[B]

Yeah. Similarly, I was kind of with Lily, too. She was kind of.

[A]

She was.

[B]

She was a little. The worst friend to exist. Also kind of with it. I said, yeah, she's me.

[A]

I'm gonna get off that train.

[B]

That's okay.

[A]

To vilify Lily, because you know how I feel about teenagers. I feel like teenagers are allowed to be a little awful.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Without me dragging them. I'm not going to say she was my favorite.

[B]

Okay, well, who is your favorite? Actually, me. Of the characters in this film, Mia is your favorite.

[A]

Yes. The mama. I like the mama now that I'm older. Yes. She said, girl, I just wanted to forget about my ex. God forbid, now you mad at me because I didn't tell you about that man. Which is a crazy thing for a mother to do. But as an adult, I'm like, girl, God forbid, she just wanted to run away from her troubles and make art, right?

[B]

She said, you know how hard it is to find a man in San Francisco.

[A]

God forbid. San. So I liked the mama. I also, you know, rewatching it as a child, I didn't pick up on this, but rewatching it this week, I said, did they run out of money? Why is the chauffeur like, 60 different things in that royal family? He dating the grandma. I think he's the chauffeur. He's also security. He be running press sometimes. Like, he be. I'm just like, what is going on here?

[B]

You know what it is? It's because he's a spy. Mr. Remember, Mr. Robitussen was like, are you a spy? Or whatever? And he was like, I'm not a spy. And he was like, you're a spy. I think he is a spy.

[A]

I literally am like, what role does this man not play? Like, what's going on here? I. Yeah, so I. Every time he popped up and he was doing something new in this movie, I was deeply confused.

[B]

I love him. I love him.

[A]

He's kind of fantastic. Yeah, Joe is. That's why they let him do 55 different things, because he was so, so warm in all of them that I was like, that's fair.

[B]

Joe is my favorite character for that. I'm like, yeah, I like you with his one earring. Lily gonna say, you look like Shaft. I said, yeah, okay.

[A]

He was sitting there when Lily was going off in that back seat. He said, I would hate to have to turn his car around. You can see in his eyes that he was like, I'm trying to keep it cute, but you got one more.

[B]

Lily, not too much. If I see. If I see another tear fall from that face, you're in danger, mama. You will get left on the curve show. I will open the door and let you out this.

[A]

Let you ride out this car.

[B]

Did you read the original book series by Meg?

[A]

It wasn't until I was reading the Wikipedia now, in which you announced that Whitney Houston produced this movie, that I learned that this used to be a book, because I clicked on the book on accident and said, what is this?

[B]

Wow. So you did not. So you did not? No, I also did not, but I was aware that it was a book. And that makes sense if you think about the way that the Princess Diaries is written in, like, the dialogue. Even Lily recites the dialogue in a very bookish way. Mia or Anne Hathaway really took that book dialogue and made it movie, which I appreciate. And that's why she had longevity in her career. That's why she went on.

[A]

Now that I'm thinking about it, I would like the plot of this movie more if it was a book than I do as a movie. I agree, because it's a little silly as a movie. I allow it because it's a classic. But I popped up. Have never spoken to you before. You have weeks to decide if you want to be princess or not. That's a book that as a movie, like, I'm like, what are you talking about?

[B]

That is absolutely a kids. It is. And literally, it is, in fact, a kid's book. So apparently there's differences between the movie and the book. I didn't read the book, but I guess in the book, Mia's dad is alive with cancer. And in the book it takes place in New York City.

[A]

I like San Francisco as a. As a place that the movie is in. I do. I actually think that San Francisco is a really nice character in this.

[B]

In this movie, Jewel also doesn't like New York City at all.

[A]

That's not true. I said I don't want to live in New York, and I want to be there for a few days and go home only in the summertime. I ain't got no beef with New York.

[B]

Would you live in San Francisco or New York first?

[A]

I probably live in New York first.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

She's lying.

[A]

I'm not. Because I told you I like being on this side of the damn country.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because I can get on a flight and be home in an hour and a half.

[B]

You can get on a flight and be home.

[A]

And I like Eastern standard time. I feel like y' all always behind on stuff. I just don't like me. I don't want to be over there.

[B]

Not weba.

[A]

She caught me in my early 20s. Even if you. I wanted to be over there in my early 20s. Y' all didn't bring me over there, so it's too late.

[B]

Lauren Comrade would be so disappointed in you.

[A]

She would. I love San Francisco, but I just think the mom as a little artist, I think is like the firehouse as a apartment. I think the charm of, like, the San Francisco streets and the trolley. The high school that also has, like, parties on the beach. I just think San Francisco is a fun character in this movie.

[B]

It really is. San Francisco plays a role in this movie that I don't feel like San Francisco has often play or at least not in, like, media that I consume. I'm sure at some point San Francisco has played roles, but in media that I consume, New York City is often a character and they don't do the same for other cities. LA is rarely a character. But it's nice. It really is nice. I love that about it.

[A]

It is been alive with cancer. Does she speak to him? I know you don't know cuz you didn't read the book.

[B]

You know, I didn't know somebody in the comments I can spark noted book.

[A]

Somebody's got to let me know is the dad. Cuz in the book she didn't really talk to him and he died like two months before.

[B]

In the movie.

[A]

Movie. In the movie she didn't really talk to him. He died or she knew who he was, but they never spoke or something. But he died two months prior.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm curious if he alive with cancer. Have you spoken to me?

[B]

I'm not sure. Probably not. Honestly.

[A]

That would piss me off.

[B]

That would piss me off. I can't imagine. But for San Francisco, I love that San Francisco was his own character and I also love that it was pre tech boom San Francisco. There is. It's advance tech row, super different. It's artsy, you know, the. The firehouse that's renovated into a loft, an artist loft. Painting with dart setup. It's earthy. They have an indoor rock climbing gym that Mia seems to work at. Question mark in her free time. Yeah. Or like after school hours. It's queer and eccentric. Mr. Robitussen lives next door. He is a playwright or a screenwriter of some sort. He'd be taking notes standing outside. He's not particularly fond of Mia, you know, like it's fun. It's like it's fun.

[A]

I will say I'm curious how New York is in the like the setting of New York in the book. But I will say again that this book, that this makes better sense as a book because alive with cancer, although maybe a deadbeat. I'm not sure makes sense why you would be trying to figure out who would be next in line.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I died two months ago and it just occurred to you to fly here and tell me that I have a matter of weeks. Like mama. You had the perfect opportunity when he died to say, oh yeah, about that.

[B]

Right. You're next up, babe.

[A]

You know what I mean? That was the perfect chance for you to say forgot to mention. And so yeah, it doesn't really make sense, but we love it anyway.

[B]

And it's a kids movie, so they don't even try to make it make sense, you know, like they don't even add a little line in where it's like, oh, wow. The committee voted, and they won't let me continue being queen. We weren't sure, you know, like, they don't even. They're just like, yeah.

[A]

Because they knew I didn't care.

[B]

Right. They said, no, the kids won't care. You know, what the kids want.

[A]

We came out and I didn't give a damn.

[B]

A makeover scene. And yes.

[A]

Ate it up.

[B]

They ate that makeover scene. Why? It gave. So Tyra Banks, the way that the grandma. The queen. Clean Clarice. She says, turn. Turn for me slowly. She started assessing her. She said, yeah. Complexion. Eyebrows. Bushman eyebrows. Beautiful eyes. Hair. I said, what is happening? What in the Tyra Banks is happening.

[A]

Sorry. It was fantastic.

[B]

It was fantastic. And then say, actual makeover. I genuinely thought that was a different actress.

[A]

Ate it up. The makeup is very 2000s. But, like, I watched it. It never occurred to me until this week that I watched and I said, oh, this is very 2000s makeup.

[B]

It was so.

[A]

But, yeah, they ate that scene. I will say. And I was thinking about this. I told. I actually told Ryan when we were. I was watching it on Monday. I said, if Julie Andrews. And I can't even say the dot, dot, dot, that comes after that. I will be taking PTO for several days because the role that that lady has played in my life.

[B]

I'm telling you.

[A]

Let me tell you something. The way I was obsessed with the Princess Diaries.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

The way. I mean, she's married, you know, and Mary Poppins, obviously. But also, I know you're not gonna relate to this, but I'm a big Sound of Music stand. I'm sure you probably have never seen it. I have it. I got the VHS. I got the DVD. I got the box set for the 50th anniversary. I got the box set for THE 25th anniversary.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Four, five different RO renditions of the Sound of Music. I got a CD. I got.

[B]

I didn't know you were a Sound of Music stand like that.

[A]

I love this. There's nothing you can say to me about the Sound of Music. I love that movie. So Julie Andrews as a nanny, as a grandma, as a. Let me tell you something. She. If she said, you need a makeover, you need a makeover.

[B]

And who am I? I got the sense. I really did get that sense. I felt like I needed to turn around. When she said, turn slowly, I said, oh, sorry. I didn't realize I had started moving too fast. I will turn slowly. Because, yeah, I'm going to do whatever Julie Andrews says to do. What is manners?

[A]

It's kind of a social dance that

[B]

we've all agreed to. Who is manners?

[A]

Well, we reference Emily Post a lot.

[B]

Why is manners.

[A]

Let's go back to Royal Etiquette Schmanners

[B]

answers all these questions.

[A]

Through examining history, culture, literature, and more, we'll give you the ultimate insight on why we did it, how we do it, and why we still might do it today.

[B]

So check us out every Friday on MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are found.

[A]

Mannersh.

[B]

Manners.

[A]

Get it.

[B]

Good evening. Thanks for tuning in to 101.1 max fun. It's midnight here on Host to Coast, and we've got Sarah from Michigan on line one.

[A]

Hi, I'm calling in for some help. I used to love reading, but between

[B]

grad school, having kids, and the general

[A]

state of the world, I can't seem to pick up a book and stick with it anymore.

[B]

Sarah, this is an easy one. Just listen to Reading Glasses, a podcast designed to help you read better. Bria and Mallory will get all the pressure, shame, and guilt out of your reading life. You'll be finishing books you love in no time.

[A]

Great. That sounds amazing. Also, I do think my husband is cheating on me with Mothman. Can you help me with that one?

[B]

Ooh, I don't think they cover that Reading glasses every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Whichever one of you sick publications posted a photo of Julie Andrews the other day in black and white or it had like, some type of, like, soft filter on it that made it look like she. Dot, dot, dot. Count your days.

[A]

Count your days. That is. That is the type of that. I'm taking the week. Like, it's not a game around here. It's not a joke.

[B]

You will start coughing in three days for that.

[A]

Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, the Sound of Music is a classic and I ain't got nothing else to say about that, so.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

Okay, what she want to do? Yeah.

[B]

Now, on the topic of the. The makeover, I did feel like as a little black girl in the 2000s, now I think about the cultural implications of, like, oh, her hair was frizz. Yeah, her hair was, like, frizzy, quote, unquote, and thick. And it broke the hairbrush. And she was only seen as pretty after they took them damn glasses off. Let's not even start there, because I didn't wear glasses. But the glasses community was always catching strays in the 2000s. Poor glasses community. But yeah, now you took the Glass off. And you straightened the hair and put on a. A mod lip. Mauve lip. What was that like?

[A]

It never occurred to me at that age. I've got to be honest with you. I was a. Did you have natural hair in your childhood?

[B]

No, no. I got my first perm when I was five.

[A]

I got my first permit too.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry, I. That's not funny at all.

[A]

But no, it's catastrophic. Like, that lady's crazy. Wait, she said, I can't take. She was treating me like Paolo. She said, I can't get the brush through it. You've got to do something.

[B]

How do you perm a 2 year old? Like, do they use. Do they. It must be. It must be just for me. Perm. It must be the baby.

[A]

No, it was definitely dressed just for me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, but it. But young enough that I don't even know if I associated that I had curly hair by the time the Princess Diaries came out. You know what I'm saying? Because my hair had been so. My hair was straight for my whole life. I don't know that I. It occurred. That didn't have nothing to do with me.

[B]

You said, blink, blink.

[A]

My hair is straight.

[B]

The. That doesn't look anything right. My. My hair is straight. What is that about?

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I'm telling you, it was a different time.

[B]

That's wild.

[A]

Yeah. I had my hair permed at a very young age. Cuz. She said, I can't. I'm telling you, she was treating me like Palo. She said, I can't. She said, I can't get the brush through it.

[B]

Listen.

[A]

Got to. Someone has to help me.

[B]

Listen, I understand. I don't think I fully. I didn't understand. You know, it's not like I was looking at him like, ow, that hurts my feelings. But as an adult, looking back on it, oh, it's like, wow. That had to, you know, like, I'm like, yeah, that. That type of messaging has to have

[A]

some type resonate with kids.

[B]

Y' all sending a message. Y' all sending messages. I don't know. It also.

[A]

Go ahead. I was gonna say I didn't grow my hair out until I was 11th grade. 10th. 11th grade. Like, yeah, stop getting burns.

[B]

Right. I think I was also when I think I stopped getting my. I got. I think I got my last firm, maybe like eighth grade, going into ninth grade, something like that.

[A]

Okay, that makes sense because you're younger just a bit, but you're younger than me. It's the Same year, right?

[B]

Exactly. We probably saw it probably went out of style right around that time. Yeah, we're not getting perms anymore. Like that's out. But it did make me wonder what is Anne Hathaway's real life hair texture? Because I was looking at that and I was like, it's looking like it's coming out. I was really looking out last night. It was coming out of silver scalp. And so I said whose hair is. Is that what her hair texture is like? So I looked it up and apparently they used quote unquote extreme teasing and frizzy hair pieces to. So they added pieces in and like really teased her hair to make it quote unquote messy and unkempt.

[A]

Now that's.

[B]

Mind you, her hair was not neither messy nor unkempt.

[A]

No, it was actually just curly. I text my mama to confirm because she wasn't going to listen back to and yell at me. She said around 5ish, but she got a bad memory. I don't think that that's correct.

[B]

Anyway, Jewel, there's literally no world in which you sit a two year old down and perm their hair. You had to be five. You had to be five. You. It had to be five.

[A]

You. We know by five. You seen that picture of me at graduation when I got the flip. So we know I had a perm body in and I was four in kindergarten. Yeah, I already. And that we know that was permed here, baby.

[B]

They said she looked like she had a corn purse.

[A]

I literally looked like I had a coin purse and like I was about to go to, to the beauty parlor. You did.

[B]

Yeah, you really did. Anyway, speaking of flippy hair. Oh my goodness.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Josh Bryant. The, like the heartthrob. The teen heartthrob in this movie. He's played by actor Eric Von Deton. He was like the ultimate 2000s white boy teen heartthrob. He played Brink on Disney Channel. He was in the movie so weird. He was in Toy Story. He voiced Sid. Yeah. Like he really had a very active career and then he just like retired from full time acting very early.

[A]

No, that's right.

[B]

Yeah, retired very early. He works in sales or finance now. He's a family man. He not worried about none of that.

[A]

I know that's good for him. I will say he, he and I think he came out before Chad Michael Murray. So I'm sorry to feel this way, but he gave knockoff Chad Michael Murray too. He did. That's unfortunate because he came before.

[B]

Absolutely. Chad Michael Murray is probably a Response to him. And then to get bigger kind of is sick. To be fair, Eric didn't seem like he wanted. Like that.

[A]

Yeah, Eric, he's on it.

[B]

He kind of seemed like he was over it. Right.

[A]

And I'm ready to go on my way.

[B]

He. He moved off Chad Michael Murray's spot. Chad said, I'll take that. Thank you very much.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then the experience of being invisible. Mia literally got sat on in class because nobody noticed her. Did you feel like. Did you ever get that, like, invisible feeling when you're in high school? Or is that just like a dramatic Y2K?

[A]

That's a dramatic Y2K. You felt invisible in high school?

[B]

No, I did not. Nobody ever said, you know what? And this is why Mia as a character kind of frustrates me a little bit as an. As I look back on the Princess Diaries.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, it's not. She just. I'm trying to think of the correct word to put. Loser. Feels too strong.

[A]

She wasn't a loser.

[B]

No, she wasn't a loser. It's not loser. Empathetic. Also feels too strong. But it's somewhere in that realm for me.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I hate to say pathetic.

[A]

I could give. Loser to me, is just like, loser is different than invisible. The invisible is like, what? What do you mean? You sat on me. That's crazy.

[B]

No, that is so crazy. And I mean, loser, not in like a you're unpopular kind of way, but in a you let people sit on you kind of way. You know what I mean? Where I'm like, girl, get up. Like, what is happening? Why would you, like, tell me I got sat on again. If you don't cuss him out. If you don't cuss people out for sitting on you.

[A]

I don't understand that. I was a very. I mean, I'm pretty passive in Jack. I don't like conflict.

[B]

But she wasn't invisible.

[A]

Yeah, you're not.

[B]

You seeing you. Well, you're. I'm saying hello. I know you see me. Mind you, Jewel 4:3, so. And she was still seen 4:3.

[A]

I'm not 4:3. Yeah, no, nobody was ever. But I also just. I don't know. I feel like dynamics are not as black and white as that in actual high schools as they are in movies. Like, you're not the popular kids, the unpopular kids, the geeks like Jewel.

[B]

I think you would be surprised. I think that's our experience. I've talked to enough people to realize that Some people's high schools functioned as a. Yes, dude. It is a thing. It is a thing people be talking about. Yeah, I was part of the popular kids. And, yeah, they're lying. No, they're not. People were like, no, I was a theater kid, and I only talked to the band nurser or the theater kids. Like, I did. I did not have friends outside of band or. I literally just had this conversation with somebody. I just had this conversation with somebody that is real.

[A]

There were people who were in.

[B]

I had dynamic experiences. But many people did have a singular, typical, stereotypical tv, like, movie experience in high school.

[A]

I wonder, were they at our high schools?

[B]

Whoa. Like, did other people at our high schools.

[A]

Like, we're thinking, oh, this was at different high schools, but were they at our high schools?

[B]

It's very possible. It's very possible. And I'm also wondering if blackness insulated us from some of that because we already existed outside of, like, movie trope norms. If it kind of insulated us from, like, you know, oh, I'm a nerd. Oh, I'm a popular. You know, like, if we just didn't

[A]

have that, I don't know. I will say, in sixth grade, I went to a school where they separated the. They. Like, I was in sixth grade, and I was in magnet, and I was separated from the other sixth graders who were not in magnet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I feel like that was a distinctly different experience than any other public school experience that I had where I felt like it wasn't just a separation of magnet kids, the kids that were in magnet, because I don't remember taking no test to be a magnet. I'm pretty sure it was a class separation as well. Like, what do you mean? Like, like, social class, financial, social, all the things. Like, I distinctly remember a lot of the kids that were in that magnet program coming from very similar class backgrounds to the one that I had. And I distinctly remember the one. I very rarely saw the other kids on the other hallway. Like, we were that separate, but we would have, like, PE Together and stuff like that. And I distinctly remember they were a different. Like, they lived in different neighborhoods. Like, it was a different, like, financial class. It was almost like a way to, like, legally separate the kids, which was. Yes, that. And that was the only time I had that, like, delineation in my public school. After that, I went to a school that we weren't. We didn't have magnet like that. And it was. Everybody knew everybody, and everybody commingled, and it was like, I don't know. But, yeah, okay, sixth grade. That was the only time I had that.

[B]

And in that first school, was it more like movie tropes? You know, in the, in the magnet program, was it more like, oh, yeah, those groups. That's a popular group. That's.

[A]

It wasn't more like popular. It wasn't in the sense of movie tropes, of like popular, unpopular. It was more like haves. Have nots.

[B]

Oh, that's. Yeah, no, that's. That's not even fun. That's not. That's not even like fun or cute.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it was more like that than it was like popular kids, sports. We were also.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Sixth grade. Like, it wasn't that delineation. It was more so, like, different.

[B]

The haves and the have nots.

[A]

Yeah, it was a little bleak even. I remember feeling that way in sixth grade being like, this is. This don't make no sense.

[B]

No. Yeah. Hate to hear it. That doesn't sound fun. Something else that I thought was interesting from this movie. The famous foot popping kiss at the beach party. Did you. Okay, before she goes to this beach party, she's sitting there talking to her mom and she's like, I think I might get my first. My first kiss. You know, like my. I hope my foot pops. And her mom, like, kind of laughs at her. She was like, I hope you get your first foot popping kiss. Jewel, did you tell your mom? Would you have told your mom that, like, oh, I think I'm gonna get my first kiss. I hope I get my first kiss. And did you tell your mom once you got your first kiss?

[A]

That sounds like something I would have told my mom, but I didn't tell my mama. Hey, girl, I'm about to go have my first kiss. No, I did not.

[B]

I thought that was so strange.

[A]

Yeah, I wasn't doing that because I don't know if she would have tried to stop me from going where I needed to go.

[B]

Hello. She's like, kiss you.

[A]

Kiss you afterwards. Now, I did tell my mama a lot of stuff after the fact that I did it, that in hindsight I'm like, why did I tell her that? Like, what, I would give my mama the downloads and this what I did, girl.

[B]

Did you tell your mom when you had sex for the first time?

[A]

That's too far. Well, depending on what you think of sex.

[B]

Oh, my God. You told your mom about your first sexual experience, even if it wasn't like penetrative sex.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you didn't tell your mom about your first kiss.

[A]

I don't Know that she asked and I don't know that I volunteered it, but I think she just assumed because that was like, my first date. Like, I went on my first. I didn't have my first kiss till I went on my first date. A little old. We went on the first date and I had my first kids on the first date. So she already 15.

[B]

Girl, that ain't no damn old. I'm thinking you about to say 25.

[A]

Oh, no, push, please. We went to, like, the movies. She dropped us off, and I remember his mama dropped him off and they were like, hey, girl, he put on a lot of cologne for this. I hope they have a good time banter or whatever. And I was like, okay, bye. And we went into the movie theater. I don't remember what we were watching.

[B]

Yeah, because.

[A]

But we went into the movie theater and that's when I had my first kiss. Yeah, I wouldn't care about that movie.

[B]

Was it. Did it meet your expectations of what a kiss was gonna be like? Did you feel romantic? Did you feel. What was the vibes?

[A]

I don't. I just remember it being a kiss. Like, I don't remember it being like. It definitely was. No foot popping kiss or nothing like that. Like, it. I didn't feel like I was floating on a cloud or that it was just a kiss and went on my way. But yeah, I definitely told my mama. Like, I wouldn't tell her the day of or the next day, but a few months later, I'd be like, this is what I did. And she would be like, okay, thanks for telling.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And I Now, in hindsight, as an adult, I'm like, oh, that lady went in her room and cried.

[B]

She probably was shook. Probably got on the phone, was like, do I. What do I do? What do I do? Do I ground her?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, what do I do? She out there being nasty.

[A]

I was. To be fair, I was. I was probably a senior or graduated from high school by the time I started telling my mama stuff so she couldn't ground me, but.

[B]

Oh, okay, okay, okay. So you. I wasn't. You wasn't school. When I was coming back from slobbing on somebody knob and being like, in high school, I just slobbed on it.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would have been. Either I would have been just about to graduate or I graduated.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And so it was like she was having a heart attack, but she also couldn't really do this.

[B]

She's like, what do I. What am I supposed to do? I literally don't know what I'm supposed to do about that.

[A]

There's nothing I can do here.

[B]

My first kiss was in a Circuit City. I just dated myself. Do you remember Circuit City? I know it was in a Circuit City in the Lakewood Mall, in. In like in Long Beach, Ish, the next town over. And it was with the white boy that I talk about regularly on this podcast. It was with that. It was with that boy.

[A]

Very clear.

[B]

I did tell you about one of my friends reminding me that he was night blind. Right?

[A]

Yes, Sequoia, that was the last time when I told you not to bring him up.

[B]

Okay, got it, got it. I'm sure we had seen a movie where I did have to, you know, lead him through the movie theater because he was, like, night blind. But after that, we went to Circuit City just to. Because we're at the mall. Circus City's at the mall. You don't want to go home yet. So we're like wandering around Circuit City with him and his friends, and we went like in a. In one of the aisles and. And. And we kissed for the first time.

[A]

Was it a. Or was it a.

[B]

No, it was a. It was. It was a little makeout. We did a little makeup.

[A]

Did you prop your foot?

[B]

I wasn't that type of girl. I wasn't a. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I wasn't. I wasn't a foot popping type of girl. I was. I was. I think I was a little hornier than foot popping.

[A]

That's why I said you went in it for the bro, man. She was.

[B]

You know what I mean? I was in it for the lust. I was lustful. As the Love island girlies like to say. I was very lustful.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

So, yeah, what I do remember. This is unfortunate. His breaths was singing so loud. It was singing so aggressively loud. And that's me putting it pretty mildly.

[A]

And you proceeded.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

Did you tell your mama?

[B]

No, I did not. My mom did not. Like that boy. No, my mom.

[A]

Never mind. I forgot.

[B]

Like that boy at all.

[A]

She. The one that. She said, and I'm gonna make this a memorable kiss. Derogatory.

[B]

She did. She did.

[A]

And then we.

[B]

And then she's the reason why we broke up. And when I told her she was the reason I broke up, she was happy about it. She said, well, anyways. Which is, to be fair, he. Yes, it was. It was silly.

[A]

Got to move forward. I've been clear.

[B]

Yeah, you did. No, you did.

[A]

So you've given me another story. It's not positive.

[B]

No, that's fair.

[A]

No, it's positive. It was my first kiss.

[B]

It was positive.

[A]

You still count that as a positive experience?

[B]

Yeah, that was my first kiss. Yeah, it was positive. Circus City. We was having a little time. You know what I mean? It was a time capsule of. Of things. You know what? Paolo. Paolo is the dude that did the makeover for An Ha's character. He. He's also the dude that leaked that she was the princess. He was nasty. They tried to have him sign the NDA. He wouldn't sign the NDA. He went to the press, leaked. He said, I want my work to be seen. She went from drab to fab. And you are gonna know that it was me behind the scenes. You know what? I feel that you know who he reminds me of, though?

[A]

Who?

[B]

Sparky Polashry from Bring It On. So did. Have you seen Bring it on, right?

[A]

I've certainly seen Bring it on, but I've not watched Bring it on enough to know who the hell. Sparky. Wow.

[B]

Okay. Bring it on is one of the ones that I will also. I've probably watched Bring it on once a year as well.

[A]

I'll.

[B]

I'll throw Bring it on on regularly. Sparky Polashi was the choreographer and Bring it on that pedaled the same routine up and down the California. Huh? He did spear fingers, that Sparky Blastery.

[A]

Oh, that's Sparky. Okay.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Paolo and Sparky Pilastery. That's a one for one dupe. I don't know. That's the same character.

[A]

It's not only memory of Bring it on when I was a kid was. They said the word dick. And I remember being at my friend house watching it and being like, this is not a movie we should be watching.

[B]

We can't watch this.

[A]

We can't watch this. I didn't watch it Bring it on until I was, like, much older because I remember being like, this is an inappropriate.

[B]

Dick was too much, too far for you. That's fair. That's. I watched. I was. I was young when I watched Bring It On. Maybe like I was seven or nine, I can't remember, but I was learning all the cheers with my. With my little cousin. We was doing all the cheers. We was. We would rewind it a billion times, be like, run it again. You're not doing it right. Run it again. And we would get there. We would get there until we got it and. And oh, my God, the Rihanna one. The Rihanna. Bring It On.

[A]

I don't know what you're Talking about, wow.

[B]

Okay. They're bringing on with Solange and Hayden Panettiere.

[A]

What does Rihanna have to do with it?

[B]

They were competing to be in Rihanna's music video.

[A]

Oh, is that what that.

[B]

Yes. They were competing to be in Rihanna's music video. So Rihanna's in it at the end, like.

[A]

And Bring it on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean. And you got served.

[B]

Yes. Yes. So she's in it at the end. She's one of the judges. And then they, like, do the music video. You know, I had the dvd, and on the dvd, they could break down the dance. Like the. They broke down the dance and it was to a. It was the S.O.S.

[A]

yeah, it was about to ask if it was S.O.S.

[B]

yes. They, like, taught you how to. They gave you the choreography, taught you how to do the dance. Wow. I miss when DVDs had that type of stuff.

[A]

Sequoia.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

It was great. It was really great. It was really great. You know who's crazy is Lily. Lily Moskovitz's ass was crazy and a bad friend. I just need to highlight this one line.

[A]

I literally wrote it down in my phone.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

To say it to you and ask you without context to tell me what it was about, because that's how bad this line is.

[B]

Oh, wait, it can't be.

[A]

It's the same line.

[B]

It can't be. Okay. She says, hey, I thought you had gotten over that. It's been, what, two months? Is that the one you're talking about?

[A]

Yes. I literally wrote it down, Sequoia. I put it in my notes app because I was so, so agassed a

[B]

g. I'm telling you because, Lilith, I know you're not talking about her dead dad. I know you're not talking about her dad died.

[A]

It's been, what, two months, Lily? About Mia's dad dying.

[B]

Hello, Lily. Please, Lily. Please, Lily. And. And. And Mia responds and she's like, yeah, no, I know, but like, you know, it was my dad. And. And Lily goes, yeah, technically, but like, you never met the guy. He just. I said, lily, children are so bad, because this is. I can completely see how she got there. I can completely. A 15 year old. I can.

[A]

No, I can't see how she said that out loud. I'm sorry. I can see how she got there in her brain. Brain. How she said it out loud and then doubled down on it. I can't.

[B]

I swear I probably would have. I swear, my i15. I probably would have been like.

[A]

You would have said that to the Friend now you didn't even know and been like, no. I don't know why she keep going on and on about this. She didn't even know that man. She up here talking about grief, and I got to see her pretend like I care. She didn't even know him. Like that did. Would I have said that at 15 to another friend, to my mama? Yes. Would I have said that to the person who Sequoia, that's crazy.

[B]

Oh, I would have. I know, my ass.

[A]

Because I would have been like, she literally made me stop and give space to her for this man dying. And she did not know him.

[B]

No. Yes. And I would have been like, yeah, why are you trying to make me hold space for a man that you don't know?

[A]

I'm sitting here talking about my Debbie daddy who pay for my private school tuition, and my parents fighting, and you want to bring up a man you didn't know because he died. Like, that would have been me. But you know what?

[B]

Because the entire context is really crazy. Because Lily, the reason why it even comes up is because Lily's complaining because her divorced dad, you know, she lived with a mom, her dad is divorced. They've been divorced for a long time. Wants to have dinner with her alone, and she's like, my dad wants to go to dinner. Like, I haven't. I ran out of things to talk about with him when I was 4. Like, you know, whatever. Emmy goes, well, at least you still have a dad. That's crazy. Number one. That's crazy thing to say.

[A]

Number one thing to say.

[B]

We're starting off crazy. At least you still have a dad. Okay, are you an op? Like, I'm trying to. I'm trying to tell you about my

[A]

grievances, but also another very 15 year old thing to say.

[B]

I'm 15 high schoolers. Some of the worst people I say with. With a 14 year old niece. I love her, though. Love her down. She's great. And also, you know what I mean,

[A]

still have a dad because they know

[B]

enough to be hurtful, but they don't

[A]

know enough bringing up that dead man.

[B]

Yeah, so that was crazy. And then Mia's reaction, or Lily's reaction to Mia's makeover.

[A]

Take it back.

[B]

Oy. Who destroyed you? You look ridiculous. You should sue Lily.

[A]

She would have gotten hit. I'm gonna cuss out.

[B]

At that point, she needed to get hit. But Mia's clapback was strong. She says eventually she says, lily, stop it. Just because your hair sucks, get off mine.

[A]

That's two scenes later.

[B]

Okay, but she got. She got her look back, though. She got her leg back.

[A]

She had to cry for a second,

[B]

you know, good and well, you was gonna cry for a second too.

[A]

I'd have still been crying two scenes later. I'm saying I can judge because you know what I'm saying? I don't do it. Well, here's my issue with me, with. With Lily, because the. Now that I'm remembering the dad comment, I believe Lily's rich.

[B]

I can't probably. That makes sense.

[A]

My spirit tells me Lily comes from some sort of money.

[B]

I can see that power.

[A]

And so for Lily to have this whole fight, the power ass stance and act the way she does, I now believe that this is a. A wealthy child trying to cosplay.

[B]

Oh, it's certainly a wealthy child. You know what? Now it makes sense. It's always like the rich kids that feel either the most guilty, the ones that are at the forefront of the. You know. And again, I am anti capitalist as well. We are anti capitalists around here. I understand a thousand percent.

[A]

You got money, baby, and you have the money. That's. That's why you got this little talk show.

[B]

Let's talk about the talk show, matter of fact. Okay. The original podcast queen running her own local public access cable show called Shut up and listen with 12 followers. With 12 viewers, it reaches 12 people back in 01. Yeah, she would have ran this. Lily would run this up, mind you.

[A]

Another one of Lily's faux paws. Mia finally says, I'm a princess. Lily goes, oh, my God, that's so crate. Will you come on my show?

[B]

Oh, my God, Lily, you know what?

[A]

Kaching, Kaching.

[B]

You know what? If I pull back and think about it, I'm not. I'm not trying to be funny or shady at all. Lily gives a touch of tizzy.

[A]

No, Lily ass ain't autistic. Don't us insult autistic people like that. Lily is not autistic. Lily is insensitive. She caught. She knows the social. She gets social cues.

[B]

Does she?

[A]

She don't give a damn.

[B]

It's giving. She don't get it. It's giving. She don't get it.

[A]

You. She said, I'm a princess. Lily didn't even say, oh, my God, that's so cool. She didn't breathe. She's had to be breath in between. And she said, oh, my God, that's so cool. Will you come on my talk show? Lily, Lily, focus.

[B]

She just. Can I have the subtlety for two seconds?

[A]

And that's why I'm not coming on the podcast. That's why I'm not coming on the podcast. Because when I come on the podcast, you're gonna make everything about you. You. You ain't even gonna listen to what I say before you ask the next question because you're not listening.

[B]

And you know what? And Lily did not come on the podcast. And Lily did not come on. And Mia did not come on the podcast.

[A]

She did show up.

[B]

And this pissed me off. And this pissed me off also.

[A]

That was bad friendship.

[B]

That was so nasty. It's not. It's not even like. Of course she got caught up because Mia doesn't show up to Lily's podcast because she's at the beach party with. What's the boy's name? Brian. With Josh. She had the beach party with her childhood crush, who now is interested in her because it's been found out that she's a princess and he's ignored her and sat on her and all types of. But now he wants to go on a date with her. Whatever. So she's at the beach party with Josh and the paparazzi. Find them. And now she has to hide. What's crazy to me is that she went to the beach party in the first place and not to Lily's talk show.

[A]

Here's what you're missing. Not only did she double book, she triple booked.

[B]

Hey, cuz. She was supposed to be going out with Lily's brother.

[A]

She was supposed to be at the beach party on Lily's show and at the auto shop listening to that little boy strum on his guitar.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Fix her car. So you was never gonna make it to all the stuff you were supposed to make it to because you. Why did you tell everybody named Mama you would be somewhere Saturday at 10pm and then think about the fact that you had said that to three people.

[B]

Three separate people didn't give a damn. So Lily, it's not.

[A]

She was never gonna be on that talk show. She never had no intentions of showing up on that lady show.

[B]

Never going to that talk show. And what pisses me off is her excuse for it. I wrote it down because it was so ridiculous. She says, quote, I forgot to call you and tell you I couldn't make it. I forgot to call you and tell you I couldn't make it.

[A]

I don't care that she didn't go. She never had it show up. Inches of making it because now we're even. Remember what you said?

[B]

You know what? That's fair. Because she did earn it.

[A]

Because what you said about my dad. Remember what you said about my hair?

[B]

Remember what you said about my dad? About my hair? And by my bag you was mad about. You was mad at my Birkin.

[A]

Yeah, mad at my little baby Birkin. And. And when I told you I was a princess, you made it about you like you need to make it about the prince. People of Genovia, you make nothing.

[B]

She don't care nothing about the people in Genovia. She can't even spell Genovia.

[A]

She didn't give a damn where Genovia was as long as she heard it was a princess.

[B]

She had no clue. She had no clue where Genovia was.

[A]

I don't care, so.

[B]

I don't care, so she can go. I also want to talk about this beach party, because it was insane. So, as I just mentioned, the paparazzi finds Josh and Mia. They send a helicopter. That's crazy. They send a helicopter. Hello, like. And why are you so worried about the princess of a small country? Genovia. Okay, sure. So they find a helicopter, yada, yada. Mia's ops. Lana, Anna and Fontana head ass. Act like they're trying to help her. Mia is in a bathing suit because it's a beach party. They act like trying. They're trying to help her. She running around trying to get away from the pops. Josh then just pissed her off because the kiss was not romantic. He trying to make her rub his feet. All types of nasty shit. She getting away from him. She trying to get away from the past. Lana, Anna Fontana is like, princess, princess, we can help you. We have your clothes right here. Come, go into the changing tent. Go into the changing tent. Change out of your swimsuit into your regular clothes. They wait until she gets in the changing tent. Lana, played by Mandy Moore. Nasty ass. Lana goes and finds the paparazzi, brings them over to the tent. Hannah, Anna Mana Fontana knock over the tent to ex trying to expose her naked 15 year old body. While men with cameras stand around trying to take pictures. Everybody's going to jail. Everybody's going to jail for that interaction. I hope it was worth it. You guys are nasty. I'm sending you to prison for that. My princess. You tried to expose that 15 year old's little body.

[A]

No, it was. It was nasty work.

[B]

It was for pot, for pat picks.

[A]

It was nasty work. It was nasty work. And then what pissed me off about that scene more than the teenagers being mean is the fact that the grandma is like, well, why she didn't know better? Granny, what are you talking About Clarice now. Been harassed by a boy and three girls at my school.

[B]

Hello. And you see Joe try. I had to check her.

[A]

Joe said what are you talking about?

[B]

Like girl, she's 15.

[A]

The Lana's. The Annas.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It wasn't her. She didn't do nothing.

[B]

Like I said. Believe Clary said. I don't. I don't know. I don't know nothing about what you're talking about.

[A]

And I don't even know Princess Imogen.

[B]

She gonna be the princess of my Genovia acting like that. And Joe says she's not gonna be your granddaughter either. Damn acting. Like with the way you acting.

[A]

Which why all of a sudden she give a damn about her not being her granddaddy granddaughter. She talked to her before.

[B]

Hello. You've been a Debbie for 15 of them. Okay.

[A]

Convinced me that all of a sudden Joe saying you being a bad grandma. Flip the light switch for Clarice.

[B]

Because she never gave a damn about being a good grandma.

[A]

You a give a damn postcard didn't send me nothing for Fat Louie.

[B]

Nothing for Fat Louie.

[A]

That you gave a damn about me and being a good grandmama.

[B]

Didn't and didn't. Of course we. We do. We talked about Super Cupid a little bit. But we do have to. We do have to get in there a little bit more. Lana and the Lannat.

[A]

Say it again.

[B]

First of all, can you imagine being in a group called Lana and the Lanettes? The group contains has a voice, one person's name.

[A]

Just like I can't imagine somebody sitting on me.

[B]

Like I said, can everybody stand up? Is everybody okay?

[A]

A lot of things but Lynettes. And sitting on me is not.

[B]

And this is why I with Lily a little bit. Even though she was mad questionable. That's why I with a little bit. Because you know what she wasn't gonna do? Sit on her. You know. You know what she wasn't gonna do? Playing her face too much. Really. It wasn't. It wasn't.

[A]

I couldn't get with it. That I don't know nothing about the Lynettes land.

[B]

And the Lynettes was so crazy. But Super Cupid smacked. Mandy Moore was. Was really doing her big one.

[A]

She was. She was.

[B]

The Britney Spears experience was doing a lot.

[A]

How did I make that up?

[B]

Let me check. You talking about Principal Gupta?

[A]

I hope I'm not. I hope I'm not.

[B]

I know. Oh, God. Oh, Lord. Who is it? Who is it?

[A]

No, I'm pretty sure that was her.

[B]

Oh, was it Ms. Gupta and Sequoia Tell me. I can't, princess. I'm checking. I'm checking, I'm checking. Who played that? Sandra. O, Baby. That's Sandra. Oh, baby.

[A]

One thing about it is I know my girl and I as a. As a Gray's Anatomy stand, as soon as she started talking, I said, that's Sandra.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

And I like Killing Eve.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Killing Eve. Yeah. I knew that was central. See, y' all tried to.

[B]

Oh, now you knew for sure. Oh, okay. You okay? You didn't want to get.

[A]

Because just like I. For two seconds, I thought that little white boy was Chad Michael Murray. Until I realized he wasn't no 100. Maybe. I don't know who people are.

[B]

I would have said Chad Michael Murray if I had not looked. Yes.

[A]

If I had mistaken a white man. That's not racist. But if I had done it to. Oh, I couldn't.

[B]

In fact, you know. Exactly.

[A]

You.

[B]

Exactly. No, yes, precisely. That. It would in fact be.

[A]

It would have been a little racist.

[B]

It would. In fact. But you didn't. So it doesn't even matter, actually. But yeah. Sandra always in here. She's great. She's funny.

[A]

She's funny.

[B]

She's wobbling.

[A]

Because I've never seen her in a role like this. So I actually think it's so fun. I think it's such a fun role for her.

[B]

I agree. I would like to see her do more stuff like this. I think they're shooting a Princess Diaries 3.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, that's crazy. I think they are either either shooting it or they shot it. Well, they can't be shooting now because Anne Hathaway pregnant now. But I remember hearing for, like, the last couple years that Princess Iris 3 was coming.

[A]

Julie Andrews then had a very long reign. When will she go?

[B]

Never.

[A]

The Queen Diaries. Well, now. Not her. Now, wait. Oh, not her.

[B]

When will it be her time?

[A]

I mean, Clarice, the Queen. I don't mean Julia. I don't mean Julie.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Got to be cleared. Let me just clear that up.

[B]

They already took. What's the lady that. That played the grandma in Halloween Town.

[A]

Yeah, Marnie.

[B]

Grandma Debbie. Debbie Reynolds. Huh? Is that her name?

[A]

She died.

[B]

They already took her. And those two people are the same. Are the same to me.

[A]

Oh, I see. That's fair. I can. I can see that. I understand. I understand.

[B]

I love. So when I went online and seen Julie Andrews and in.

[A]

But I don't even like the.

[B]

The.

[A]

What are we doing for Princess Diaries three? What's the point? What was Going on in the Princess Diaries, too. I don't remember that one. What was the plot, Drew?

[B]

You know how we accidentally kill people on the show and we talk about them?

[A]

No, that's why I didn't say the word. That's why I said, dot, dot, dot. Because we have a hit. No, we. Not we. You have a history.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It only happens when that.

[A]

That.

[B]

It's not. It's not. It's not you, it's not me. It's we.

[A]

I've never done that. You thought. When I spoke about Queen Elizabeth, you said, she's not dead. And I looked at you, and then a couple weeks later, she was indeed dead. Okay, I didn't do that.

[B]

Okay, But I knew she was alive. Okay, but I will say it's only the magic of us coming together that actually puts him in the dirt.

[A]

Ah. I've never. No, I'm not gonna take that. I think that's you. I think that's you and your misunderstandings, because you killed that lady. And she was not dead.

[B]

It was literally.

[A]

And I was talking about her in the present. I was talking about her, like, in the present tense, and I paused because you said something, and you said, she's not dead. And I went, what happened to accountability?

[B]

Why was you taking accountability for your part and what you did?

[A]

I wasn't. I didn't do anything. What are you talking.

[B]

Why won't you. Why won't you.

[A]

Okay, now you trying to make me sound like Jason Lee. Remember, Jason Lee killed her before she died. Jason Lee to this day said, and she was dead.

[B]

Jason Lee is a clown.

[A]

Jason Le. Said, the queen has died. He said buckingham palace said, no, she hasn't.

[B]

And he said, I have insiders in Buckingham.

[A]

They're in the palace.

[B]

Who is speaking to you?

[A]

Buckingham palace said, she's not dead. She's not dead. Prove it.

[B]

Mind you, she died maybe two weeks later, like Jason.

[A]

It wasn't two weeks, but it was, like, not long.

[B]

It wasn't that long. Like a month.

[A]

Like, that man said, no, she's dead.

[B]

So Jason Lee spoke.

[A]

Jason Lee did that.

[B]

You guys, I want to point out the episode hadn't even come out yet before she died.

[A]

Wait, had it not?

[B]

The episode came out like the. The pre. The day before she died. No. Yes, it is true. Yes, it is. No, I'm not. I remember having to amend the caption because we were still running promo for that episode and being like, we recorded this before she died. Sorry. It was the Princess Diana episode. And we happened to talk about. Anyway, child, back to Princess Diaries. Yeah. Lana and the Lyttes. That was never gonna work for me. That was crazy. Also, Lana trying to play Mia and. And tattle on her about that hat that she had on in homeroom. She was like, hey, teacher. I was under the impression that people aren't allowed to have hats. And so I think that we should really honor that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the teacher's like. The teacher's like, yeah, you're right, Mia. You do have to take the hat off. Mia took that hat off. The hair flew. Lana's face drop off the. I'm telling you, it fell off the bone. It's like when you unwrap, you know, you wrap your hair when you get a good silk press. Let me do something. Unwrapping. It fall off the bone, you know.

[A]

Oh, you ain't even gotta. You just, you know.

[B]

Wow, I missed that.

[A]

I missed. Let me tell you something. I ain't wore my hair straight in the. I ain't had nothing fall off the bone in a while.

[B]

But I'm just telling you, I haven't had something fall off the bone in a minute.

[A]

All you feel is scalp when you touch it because it's just so flat. It's so.

[B]

Hold on. I missed the sensation of being able to, like, get to my scalp real easy. You know, I've got to get it back.

[A]

But the issue is that you have to have your hair. Your hair has to be straight, straight like that all the time for you to be getting that level of a silk press. One me, lady, thousand percent straightens her hair once or twice a year is not. I'm not going to obtain that without a little heat damage. You know what I'm saying? It's not going to revert back when I. If. If I get. If my hair fall off the bone,

[B]

it's gonna fall off.

[A]

It's gonna fall off the bone. I'm gonna get in the shower and I'm gonna be under that water for hours wondering why it ain't back up.

[B]

That is my worst nightmare, actually. Like, getting my hair pressed and getting in the shower, and my. And my curls are not coming back. I'm so scared.

[A]

It's so funny, too, because I look back now because there was a time, like when I started. When I stopped getting perms. I didn't stop straightening my hair. Like, I was natural, but I was, like, straightening my hair. I didn't start wearing my hair curly until, like, six or seven years ago.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I, like, I'm telling you like it is. It's different. I'm telling. It's. I miss it, though. I miss straightening my hair because this. But my hair, when I look back at it, I'm like, oh, your hair was like. Your hair had heat damage. Like that. Damage so different than it is now. And I didn't know it because I didn't know what my curl pattern looked like.

[B]

There's so many people who are in that exact same boat who think that they have a looser curl pattern, but actually they just have perpetual heat damage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, if you cut all that hair off and did not straighten it at all, you would reveal your actual curl pattern.

[A]

Yeah, I had.

[B]

I didn't know this is my curl pattern at all either.

[A]

I had no clue in the first few years when I was wearing my hair curly that that was indeed not my curl pattern. Right.

[B]

Wow. For the time. I think that's really it. I think that's really it for Princess Diaries. It was nostalgia. It was a great film. It feels good. It's a good length. The pacing is good. Commendable, honestly. And Anne Hathaway is truly the breakout star that we deserved. Oh, I wonder who else went up for the role.

[A]

I just love her. I haven't seen the Odyssey yet, but I just feel like, what a lovely human, you know? And I also really respect that. Don't nobody know what Anne Hathaway has going on in her life.

[B]

Facts. Nothing. I don't know anything about that woman.

[A]

I posted about the second baby. I literally had people DMing me being like, I didn't know about the first. Where did.

[B]

I'm telling you, I had no idea. I am one of those people. You didn't know? No. You knew that she had. How did you know that she had

[A]

multiple babies before she announced the second baby? You didn't know about the first one?

[B]

No, I didn't know that lady was married. I don't know anything about her.

[A]

She was married. See this what I'm saying? I love that I did because she's talked about it very sparingly. She's talked about having a baby. I think she mentioned that, like, she was on the beach with her husband and she was pregnant and somebody took a picture of her and she was like, it's going to leak. So let me just post it on Instagram. That's how she announced her first pregnancy. And so I knew she was married. I knew she had a baby, but that's it. And I like that.

[B]

Congratulations to her. I really do like that about her.

[A]

I like that. I don't know nothing. And I don't know nothing about the husband. Nothing.

[B]

I'm not. I don't know. I don't know what race he is. I don't know what color his hair is. I don't know. I don't know. I literally don't know anything about that, man. And I love that for an.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's been working this year, I'll tell you that. Other people that went up for the role of Princess Mia Scarlett Johansson.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Couldn't see it. That. I don't think that that would work.

[A]

That's wrong.

[B]

Amy Rosom. I don't know who Amy Rosam.

[A]

Who that is.

[B]

Is. But when I look at her, she looks familiar. What else was Emmy Rosam in?

[A]

I don't know. Amy. Amy, Emmy.

[B]

Emmy.

[A]

Oh, see, I'm already spelling it wrong.

[B]

Emmy and Emmy Rom. Yep. And then Live Tyler and I don't know who Live Tyler is either. I'm not gonna hold you. Let me see who Emmy Rosa is.

[A]

Yeah, I gotta look at Emmy first. I can't get to live right. Shameless. I don't know her.

[B]

Amy Rosa, American actress.

[A]

It's like a nice lady. Liv Tyler.

[B]

Liv Tyler Shashmara. Is that not. Is that not one of the. The rock and roll boys. Daughters, something? Tyler,

[A]

what are you talking about?

[B]

I don't know. Child, please.

[A]

He doesn't have a daughter that's an actress.

[B]

Oh, I don't.

[A]

Are you thinking about Steven Tyler?

[B]

Yes, I am. Is that not. Is that not her dad?

[A]

I don't believe so.

[B]

Okay. That's fair. Amy Rom was in shame. Hey, listen. I knew it. Live Tyler. I'm like, I've heard the name Liv Tyler before. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I didn't even know he had kids.

[B]

Yep. You know, Autumn, Rock and roll boys have kids because they were just dropping sperm off.

[A]

And whoever. Hate to say he don't have good. He don't have a good. It's not been good about him. But I'll get.

[B]

We don't have to get there. And they're still dropping sperm off. And whomever as. As Dave Grohl just did. Unfortunately. I know he did. It was nasty, but he did, and we hate to see it. Emmy Rosom was in Shameless. She was in Phantom of the Opera the day after tomorrow. Yeah, I recognize her. I feel like if you. If you looked her up, she was in you're not you. I don't know what that is, but yeah, she's been in, like, stuff Where I'm like, yeah, I recognize you. She was married to.

[A]

This registers to me.

[B]

Justin Sequel. She didn't. She doesn't have a familiar face to you at all?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. She must be, like, on my side of the Internet, you know that I was like kitty and fake emo, and you was real emo. So it's like actually different lived experiences and then live. Tyler. Yeah. Liv Tyler looks like. Looks like Steven Tyler. Is that his name? Stephen? Did I make that up? Yeah, she looks like him. I'm not gonna respond to that. This reminds me of my friend. She used to have a crush on Michael Jackson. Y' all are killing me. I don't have time for either.

[A]

Why don't y' all see? It's God forbid people are attracted to artistry. God forbid people are attracted to aura. Why everything gotta be about looks?

[B]

Because sometimes people's looks are so egregious that you can't really get past.

[A]

And why can't a little femininity be attractive?

[B]

There's nothing wrong. It's not the femininity in Steven Tyler that is the problem. It's not the femininity. It is almost everything else. It is near every single other thing that is the problem.

[A]

I love T can.

[B]

It's the work that he's had done on his face. It is the commitment to the money pieces in the front of his head. It is the feathers that is. That is. That are woven. It is the fedora, the commitment to the fedora. It is. You know what I mean? Like, there's just. It's the fact that he's 80 almost in two years. There's just so many other facts for his age. There's just so many other factors that would cause him to be the problem that I just.

[A]

You never saw it,

[B]

Jewel? No, I never saw it. I don't know what else. No.

[A]

Was there ever a moment where you thought Michael Jackson was attractive?

[B]

No, I never thought Michael Jackson was attract. No. You thought Michael Jackson was attractive?

[A]

He's not my type. I never. But I could see it. Like, I could see it. It just was never for me. But I can see why people thought this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, I think aura presence does a lot for people.

[B]

Michael Jackson's aura was doing something for you.

[A]

What is wrong with his? Or you think he got aura?

[B]

No, I mean, not. Not an attractive one. I certainly think he has star power. Not an attractive or not a sexual attractive aura.

[A]

I think there is something sexy about, like, performing, about present, like stage presence, about that level of artistry, that level of creativity. There is sexiness attached today.

[B]

No, you're not wrong. And that's why. That is why Beyonce is attracted to Jay Z. But there is. There are some people where it's like, you know.

[A]

Yeah, because people. And I admit I didn't mean to jump like that. That was me. There were people who that was. And I apologize for that. That was uncalled for. There was when he did the. The Madison Square Garden stuff a few weeks ago, and people were like, oh, my God, I see what she said, sees.

[B]

I said, I must be blind. I must be blind. Where do you see it? Point it out so I can see it too. Point at it. Point at it.

[A]

I wish him well. I don't have no beef with him. I'm not. I don't think Jay Z's ugly. For the record, I don't think so either. I never.

[B]

I never said Jay Z was ugly.

[A]

I think Jay Z is ugly. And I actually think it's mean when people say he's ugly.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

I don't think he's understood.

[B]

Understood. So, yeah. The people's princess, Mia Thermopoulos. Amelia Monette Thermopolis Ronaldi, Princess Ofia. Eventually, we will talk about the second movie featuring my favorite human being to exist on the planet, Raven Simone. Love her so bad.

[A]

Never seen it.

[B]

You never saw the segment at all. You don't know the iconic sliding down the slide on a mattress scene. Okay, Okay.

[A]

I think that when things are done well, we should leave them alone.

[B]

And that's fair, because the second one isn't good.

[A]

It's not good. We, we, we, we. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Who is the main love interest? Is that James Marston in.

[A]

In. Oh, because they let go of the brother. Lily ain't in that. Lily ain't in it.

[B]

She's. She isn't it. She's in it. She's in it. Yeah, she's in it.

[A]

But where the brother at?

[B]

I don't. I don't remember the brother. I don't remember the brother being in it. I don't remember. I think they said that he went on tour with his band or something. They, like, addressed it. I. I don't remember.

[A]

But y' all could have just said he died. I believe that better than he went on tour today. You made that up. You made.

[B]

Please. You made it happen

[A]

on tour with that band, the one that was practicing.

[B]

Explain why she was, you know what I mean, out here looking for a man. Because in the second one, she's looking for a man because that she has to get married in order to keep the crown because she turned to 21 or something. She has. She has to like get married? Yes. It's silly. It's actually really, really good. That's when it started to lose me. The first princess Iris is good because it really isn't male centered, although there's like little, you know, male interests or whatever. The second one being around getting married entirely.

[A]

Does she get married?

[B]

Does she? It's called the Royal Engagement, I believe she does get married. Yeah, she does get married. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she does. Oh, it's Chris Pine. They look the same to me. It's Chris Pine.

[A]

They don't. They don't look anything alike, Sequoia.

[B]

They do, they do. So anyways, Chris Pine is in the second one. If you, if that's your type of.

[A]

Oh, I'm thinking Chris Pratt. My bad. See, I don't know who that is.

[B]

Look, it's too many. It's too many white men. Too many white men with a similar name. That's it. That's really it for this episode of Black People Love Paramore. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed this episode, Please rate us five stars. You can watch us on YouTube, of course you can, just Google, you know, Google. It'll come right on up. If you want to follow us on socials, you can follow us at BPLP pod, you can email at black people up paramore gmail.com and I will see you next episode. Bye. Maximum Fun. A worker owned network of artist owned shows supported directly by you.