Loading summary
A
Guys, my guest today is she stole my Heart at. In the Comedy Store parking lot. Maybe a year ago, year and a half. Then we did Hollywood Squares together. Yeah, I don't know if that's aired.
B
That's really. You were so fun on that.
A
And fun is not funny. That's Notice. Notice the difference.
B
Well, funny and fun, but we weren't really allowed to be funny as much.
A
You got shut down for being anti Semitic.
B
I know. It's insane.
A
You got. She made an anti Semitic reference, and they were like, da, da, da, da, da.
B
By the way, I'm Jewish and I'm not anti Semitic.
A
If anyone can make that joke, it's you. But they don't want.
B
It's insane. Okay.
A
She's got a Netflix special called Wake up, and it's appropriately titled. I don't even. Is that in the. Is that a joke?
B
Is that a. I just say wake up a lot. You know, it's more in the special. Yeah. Wake Up. Wake Up.
A
It's appropriately titled. Don't get me wrong.
B
Yeah.
A
A very funny hour. And it's Robbie Hoppin, ladies and gentlemen.
B
Thanks for having me.
A
Of course.
B
I appreciate it.
A
Of course. Okay, so I have a lot of questions.
B
Please hit me.
A
Most of what I know about you is from Instagram clips.
B
You ever realize you grew up poor because you like a hard towel? Either invite me for dinner or don't, but your potluck. 100% disagree. I love that.
A
Which is how most people know. Most people know.
B
Great. And whatever works.
A
You seem like you're pretty, like you've been yourself for.
B
Yeah, no, I've definitely been myself, but I've gone through phases of. Of trying not to be. I mean.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, and trying to, like.
A
That was one of the categories earlier.
B
Or sound less uneducated or whatever. I thought, like, you know, more popular girls sounded like. Or acted so I used to. Yeah. So I always knew, but I always was trying to change before I leaned in.
A
Was it. Would you. Did it cross into self loathing, hatred? Or was it just like. It would be easier if I was conventional?
B
No, it was just. I was so embarrassed of how poor we were.
A
Yeah. Oh, yes. That's a big one.
B
Yeah, That's a big block. So that changed everything.
A
Growing up poor. Like, really poor.
B
Yeah. So that was like. And I got to go to a private school, which is. People. Like, she went to private school. I'm so thrilled. I went to this private school. I went on subsidy in Montreal. In Montreal. A very good school. It was a Jewish Private school.
A
You were one of seven children.
B
One of 10.
A
One of 10.
B
You're also one of 10. And you're the baby of 10. I want us to talk about this. This is insane. And you're the same mother, same father? Yeah, I'm same mother, same father. You're like, 10 kids in, like, 20 years. Did you say 16? 16. And we're 10 and 12. Pretty close.
A
10 and 12 is wild numbers.
B
My mother's vagina is bigger than your mother's vagina.
A
How long I. My mom.
B
Do you have twins?
A
No. We did it.
B
Five girls, five boys. What about you?
A
Six and four.
B
Four what?
A
Girls.
B
Oh, wow.
A
My mom in labor with me for 40 minutes.
B
40 minutes. You walked out. We all have those jokes. I can't believe it. So are your parents still together?
A
No, my dad died, which hurt and. Which hurt? The relationship. But they had been divorced. They had gotten divorced. They got divorced 15 years earlier, maybe 20.
B
I can't believe we're both one of 10.
A
Yeah, it's rare.
B
It's very rare.
A
Like, Gaffigan's got five or six kids, and it's like how whenever you. It's like how.
B
I don't have any kids. No. And a lot of my siblings don't have kids. I think we were all pretty. Like, we've already parented.
A
No one in the family has more than two.
B
Yeah, one.
A
One has three.
B
One has three twins.
A
Remarried. Okay. Yeah. But it was like. Yeah. And then there's probably three or four with none.
B
Yeah. And have you met all your nieces and nephews?
A
I mean, that answers your question, right? Like, the look of my. It's not.
B
No, it's not.
A
No.
B
I have a mother who like, guilts me about the kids sometimes, and they live so far. It's like, I never, like, grew up and was like, my Aunt Jan.
A
I wish my aunt was here.
B
I have never, like. I'm like, oh, yeah, my father.
A
Where are the aun. No, that was.
B
I don't know. It just doesn't. It's like, fine, my Uncle Rob was in our life, and I loved him, and that was phenomenal. But it's like. I don't know. It's not.
A
But when it becomes, like, a diplomatic. Like, hell. So you two. This is your aunt. And then you just stare at each other.
B
Yeah. And it's like, you know, it's just a weird relationship. Sometimes you naturally. My niece is. That said, I have two nieces I'm very close with because they live close.
A
Like, it's just a thing and also, like, there. Are you. How old are they?
B
The nieces? My niece is three.
A
Okay. I was gonna say, are you similar. Do you have similar interests, but not yet.
B
Oh, no, no, no. My nieces are really young, but cute.
A
Yeah. So you believe in. All right. So you have 10 kids and then your dad skips town?
B
Well, we left town. My mother. We grew up religious. I imagine you grew up religious. To some extent.
A
Irish Catholic.
B
Yeah. Like, they were doing at least something that didn't allow them to use protection. So my father stayed in the religious community. My mother took us out. That's why we ended up in Montreal, because my mother is from Montreal. My father is, again, American.
A
Was it Orthodox or.
B
Yeah, Orthodox Judaism.
A
Ultra Orthodox.
B
Yeah.
A
Morbidly Jewish. Took a lot of.
B
Extremely Jewish. Extremely.
A
No, he's morbidly. No, he is morbidly Jewish. Yeah, that's the name. Renan Hirschberg's Stanislaus.
B
So. No, definitely. So that's why we. But my father did stay. We actually did leave. Of course, he gave us no reason to stay. He was a violent and, you know, not a good presence. But we did leave.
A
And you agree with.
B
And by the way, we. My mother. We were children. We didn't have. You know, we moved with my mother.
A
Were you mad about it? How did you feel about it?
B
Yeah, people were. I was heartbroken. Like, you know what I was just thinking on the way here, like, I have only a few memories with my father. It's so interesting that my whole child, like, the years that I did have with him when he was in the house, he never really. We never connect. Like, he never did anything with us. You know, it's like, I do remember. Yeah. I saw, like, a rider truck go by, and I. It's so crazy that I have so few memories. Like, of course. Okay. I ended up not growing up with my father for the rest of my childhood, but the years. The beginning of my childhood, I should have more memories. Like, I was like, he was there.
A
You know, what do you think he was doing?
B
Like, he was getting drunk and learning and coping and. Yeah, just not. And sexist and not into the girls and into the boys and stuff like that. But to some extent. But then he liked. He just picked and choose a lot.
A
It's so funny. It reminds me, like, my father. What I think they're in these religions and they can't. My dad. I mean, my parents. It was a long time ago, so it was like, they're in these religions. They need to be in the religion to get sex. They need to get married to have sex, then they can't use protection. They keep having kids. And in my dad's case, he didn't like kids, so it's just compounding stress. And then he's violent. He drinks all the same.
B
Yeah, it was like, you know, in that community too, at the time. Like, there weren't resources like how to cook. You know, they were like, you know, we're poor and many religious Jews are. Many aren't anymore. Now what's the difference? I think their real estate has really picked up and stuff that they owned, you know, like, for families like that. But. But a lot of people are kept really poor and there's still such. There's like, it used to be the whole. That whole community was mostly poor, 99% because they're living on prayer and, you know, like, they're hoping things will just come and they're not coming. You're living in a capitalist world.
A
Yeah, that's the other thing.
B
You're not like. Yeah, so. But my father. To this memory, I was. I just saw a Ryder truck. And I remember my father had to get a ryer truck. And it was yellow at the time, this rider truck, and now they're white and red. But we got to go in the truck. Like, I don't know if he had a job for the day or he was helping a friend or whatever, but he just suddenly came in and he's like, who wants to sit in the truck? Of course, we all shot up like, fucking A. And I remember getting to sit up in the truck with him. Maybe four or five of us.
A
Okay.
B
And it was just so fun. Like, I remember at school, did you ride around? Father has a truck. We rode around. He took us. I mean, this is where the memory goes sour. But still was nice. We went to the gas station and he said, let everybody get a candy.
A
Great.
B
Okay. So. Or pick what you want and if it's kosher, we'll get it, Whatever. So, you know, I was taking my time picking. Get whatever you want. So I'm going through the aisles and I'm like, I don't think that I could do better than that.
A
Right.
B
You know, so I'm taking my time, and then when I get to the front with my candy, I must be six, seven years old. And I'm standing there and I look around, it's just like this, you know, Indian man who runs the gas. Who his shop is the gas station shop or something like that. And I look around and I don't see this huge Rider truck. And I'm like, did you see my father? Like, And I remember that man going, oh. So he picked me up, and he put me on his chair.
A
Great.
B
Okay. And I was like, they left. And everybody had left. I guess I had taken too much time. And I literally remember looking. You could see all around the gas station from the store. Because it's a gas station store.
A
Spring is in the air, which means now is the time to save during spring outdoor power deals at the Home Depot. Make cleanup easier when you go cordless with the Milwaukee M18 string trimmer, designed to deliver more runtime, more speed, and maximum performance. Then grab a select Milwaukee fuel attachment, like the pole saw edger or brush cutter included at no extra cost when you buy the Milwaukee M18 String Trimmer Shop. Seven days of spring outdoor power deals at the Home depot, now through April 29th.
B
And he was starting to be like. And I was like, oh, my God, they left. They were just here. And then suddenly the car. The truck swerves in, and my father is like, rifky. Rifky. Which is what they call me. And I got off the chair, and I went. And they came. We came back for you.
A
Were you scared? Sad?
B
I was really scared. I was like. But I did think, like, they'll come back.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, I did think, like, did you see my fault? I just remember, like, me and this man being. I'm like. And he's like, no, I for sure saw your father.
A
Let me ask you, all right, this. Do you consider that traumatic? If it's that one of my favorite memories, right? No, that's what I mean.
B
Like, some people go, like, that's what I'm saying. Like, that was so fun just to have an adventure with him of any kind. And thank God everybody treated me well. The store owner handled it appropriately, Was obviously gonna notify the police or something. Was like, don't worry. And I. Because I said, he'll come back. And he agreed he would come back, but I'm sure he would have called appropriate people. He wasn't mean or anything. And he let me have my snack, so it's like. But, yeah, I just. I just don't have that many memories of him, which is, did your life
A
get better when you guys left him, or was it just like.
B
Yeah, you know, it's. We felt a lot poorer leaving him just because it was now, like, my mother is a single mother of 10 kids, and we didn't have that community support. We. You know, which wasn't. It was horrible support at the Time, especially for my mother, who was not, you know, having good times. But we did have the huge support of my mother's family, which was actually way better. So I want to re answer that. I think, yes, it got much better, but as a kid you're still heartbroken. But it definitely got much better. And the support of that community wasn't even support that I could feel. It was just that other people were like us. And then when we moved to Canada in this more secular world where we
A
live in New York City.
B
Yeah, yeah. In Brooklyn, when you move to Canada to a more secular world as a little kid, it's like everything was just different.
A
Okay, so it was like a Jewish community in Brooklyn and then your mother was Canadian.
B
Yeah.
A
So you moved there and it's like, oh, a bit of a.
B
And yeah. And we don't have a 2 parent. Like my grandfather is over and we moved in with my great uncle Eddie, which was all amazing, but it was, we just like were. My mother took over and my. Everything was tight and we were on welfare and we could always feel the stress, the financial strain for my mother. I mean, she talked about it openly. And even if she. There was no behind closed doors. We lived in such close quarters that she's on the phone crying about this. We're all, can hear everything. There's no, like, oh, you go to your room, you go to your room. We're all sharing the same rooms.
A
Yeah.
B
So you know, there's no. Yeah. And then going. But I was exacerbated. And I've talked to this, so I don't have to delve too, too far, but going. My mother really prioritized education and thought it was a great opportunity that they would take me at the school. There's no question. And it was.
A
What school was it?
B
It was a Jewish private school in the neighborhood. And it, and, and, but it was, you know, a lot of my siblings went to the free schools in the public and they said they would take me and I could get this education. But all the kids were rich there. Rich for the first time. I hesitate to say gifted, but I was clever.
A
But how did you get, how did they pick you?
B
So we had, when we moved to Canada, we moved in the middle of the year. It was this big thing. But my grandfather was taking us around to schools that would let us start and not lose half a year of school.
A
Right.
B
Basically because then we would all have failed.
A
Or you're eight, nine.
B
Yeah. So we, we get, we go to this Jewish, little Jewish private school. Well, we went to a lot of schools. There was public schools, there was this school. And I went with me and three of my brothers. I have a brother a year older, a brother two years old, and a brother three years older. So I'm like in this cluster of boys, which checks out. And the four of us went for this interview with my grandfather, and it was like middle of the winter. And my brothers. And so we're with the principal, we're with. My grandfather's like, you know, this is a unique situation. My daughter and her 10 children have just arrived and we have to, you know, get them in school and da, da, da. And my brothers got into a fight at the meeting. Sitting like this, you know, like, you're the principal. We're sitting here. It's just us and the. And the principal, and she's talking to us about our experience. Whatever, whatever. At this point, my brothers are still wearing yamakas. This school was a private Jewish school, but not a religious school. It was very, like, traditionally conservative Jewish, you know, like rich Jews that you're probably familiar with. And that was my first foray into wealthy Jews. Everybody I knew was poor, on food stamps and the whole bit. These big religious Jewish families that prayed to God and hope for the best. So this was my first, like, elite experience. And my brothers got into a fight. They're like, yeah, I don't know if they knocked a chair. It got physical. There's no question. Yeah, there. And I kind of, you know, and my grandfather came in or something and, you know, and the principal told them they had to leave. You know, my grandfather was like. And she said, I'll just speak to the girl alone. I didn't do anything. I sat there like this somehow, because I'm so used to them being animals. And I just talked to the principal like a grown up. I said, this is what I go through the day in and the day out. But I think I could do very well at your school. And I'm a very good reader and, you know, I like to write.
A
Was this your first and only school interview?
B
Yeah. Well, no, we had seen. We. I had to go to French school for one year, too.
A
So how did you know to do this rap to him like this?
B
Oh, I didn't. She just saw everything that happened with them.
A
You were like.
B
So then when she had me alone, I said. And she had just been asking us about her. So I said, this is my experience. This is what it is day in and day out. This is what I'm putting up with. And. And so then she told my grandfather after. And this story now was told to me because I don't. They had a meeting with grownups, but my mother likes to tell it that they had a meeting after. And the principal was like, we'll take the girl. You know, we'll make room for the girl. But the, you know, the boys. And my grandfather was like, it's a package deal. Like, I gotta. I gotta school six more kids. Yeah, you gotta take all four. It's a package deal. You want her, you take the three of them. And so my brothers went to that school for one year. They. They then didn't let them come back another year.
A
Like, it's not a package deal.
B
They were. They were. Yeah, they were terrible that one year and they were falling behind.
A
Have they. Whatever their lives, what has become of these brothers?
B
They're amazing. My brother Shmuley is just tremendous works in Calgary.
A
So they've gone on to good.
B
Oh, yeah, they're amazing people. It's just also, my brothers were really hurt by their education in New York because boys. Their boys are more pious or more religiously inclined. So they mostly learn Torah, Bible. And so.
A
That's really interesting.
B
Yeah. So the girls, I was learning, naturally,
A
they believe boys are in the Jewish.
B
They believe it's the responsibility of boys to know the Bible. It's not the responsibility.
A
So when you say pious, you mean, like it's put on them, it's like it's enforced?
B
Yeah. Like, they're like, we're not holy enough. Like, it's not a commandment for us to know the Torah, to know the Bible. So they let us do in school nonsense subjects like English and math and, you know, so I was actually, even though I was going to this, like, Canadian school, yes, I was behind on the French and some things, but other things I was really able to keep up with, with the reading and all that stuff, versus My brothers learned to read at home from their sisters or from my mother. They weren't learning reading and writing in their religious schools. It was all Yiddish and it was all Hebrew.
A
Okay. So would you. Do you always feel like an outsider?
B
I don't know, because I.
A
That's just my read of you.
B
I think I am just an outsider. I don't know what if. Yeah, I think, like, I've always been like, I'm American, but I'm Canadian. I'm a girl, but I'm a tomboy. I'm. You know, I've had. So I'm. Yeah, I'm Jewish, but I'm Gay. You know, I've had so many things like that where it's like. Yeah, I. I definitely. I don't know. I definitely.
A
You have a very forceful personality.
B
Yeah.
A
Walk me through it. Meaning? Because, like, when we did Hollywood Squares, and you, like, literally, they start rolling and you go. And I'm like, I've never. I was like, oh, she must have done the show before. Like, I don't. And then I. Then I found out, or you told me you hadn't done. I was like, the level of just, like, force. But that seems to be who you are on stage also.
B
Yeah, I just. You know what it is? I think, because you told me this podcast yesterday is about blocks. I was thinking one of my big blocks is that I'm so annoying. It's something that I've, like, my whole life, I've been told I'm annoying. Yeah, shut up. You know, and by the way, from everyone from my sister to teachers.
A
Right.
B
You know, it's not like, you know.
A
Yeah. But it's like, I always feel like if you can write, if you got a point of view, it's like the world's coming closer to you. It's like people, like, takes now.
B
Yeah. But I just. I think that sometimes it is something that makes me feel insecure, but I don't have that when I'm performing or on a job or that's my job to be a lot. So that really worked out. I hate it in my life when I'm too much or if I catch.
A
You're too much. You're married, right?
B
Yeah. Well, no, but married, married. No, I'm not too much. But I'm saying, like, let's say I was, like, kibitzing with you outside the Comedy Store, and I'm like. Like, I just get so annoyed with myself in the car after. Like, I'm just.
A
Oh, that's interesting. Okay, That's. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
B
Like. Like. Like, can you tone it down? You know, and sometimes I'm that excited type of person because I just come off stage, which does give me a high. Maybe like a runner has a high or somebody who does drugs or something. So I am buzzing a bit, but on stage, I really go, rob, do whatever the hell you want to do. Like, I do not limit myself in the areas where it's, like, literally my job to do it. Like, I remember when I did the Gethard show, I once read 800 writing
A
packets, and out of those 800, the
B
stranger I'd never met, Robbie Hoffman.
A
Hers was the most interesting one, Shout
B
out to Gethard, which was one of my first grown up writing jobs. I say that because I started in kids television.
A
So Nickelodeon.
B
Yeah. Oh, cool. I mean, I really. Yeah. I learned everything starting from there. But I remember when I was on Gethard, I got in trouble for some of my ideas. You know, you're pitching this, you're, you know, it's too crazy. You know, like we had the network at the time, True tv, they loved this episode that Gethard show had done, which it was Russian roulette with weed. So it's like get third, the co host and the guest, all like. But five of them had, were, were, were placebo. And one was like the strongest weed of all time. Okay. And you didn't know which joint you got, you had to smoke it. So they said they loved that idea. So if you could think of ideas like that.
A
I already love what you've come up with. I don't even know what it is.
B
So I said aids, Russian roulette, It's the same thing. Five syringes. Okay. Four of them are iv. One's got a touch of aids.
A
I'm talking a tasteful amount.
B
Like literally a drop.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay. Which by the way. Okay. Yeah. A drizzle. And you don't know which one you have till after we have to do the test and the whole thing. It's a great.
A
Pitch it to one person.
B
Yeah. So I'm pitching this.
A
Who are you pitching it to?
B
The room.
A
Okay.
B
Okay.
A
That's Gethard. So no one from Trueto.
B
Yeah. And it gets a huge laugh in the room. Okay. But the problem with me is I'm. I really believed in the idea and I said, by the way, AIDS is chronic now. These aren't issues.
A
This is like everyone could take prep
B
before you're taking prep. Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's not even that bad anymore. It's like. Okay. Like it's worse.
A
It's not even as bad as Covid.
B
No. Like, herpes is work. Like, I'm just saying. So I get called in at some point that I, that I had pitched this Russian roulette aids, which I said, with all due respect. Yeah. To the showrunner and the executive producers, I said, with all due respect, you've hired me to do this. That is an idea that is within my job description. Yeah. I'm not the accountant here. I, you know.
A
Yeah.
B
That is like I've been hired to be a clown.
A
Expressly supposed to do that.
B
So that's what I get annoyed I. On stage or at gigs, like where I have to be in Hollywood Squares, I almost like me as a little kid. I go, rob just doesn't do whatever the most, the least, whatever you want. But I do get annoyed at myself that I can't always keep it together or calm down.
A
She's very hard to handle.
B
I just don't like feeling annoying in my regular, you know, that I'm talking too much or doing too much on stage. It really resonates, and it's a place for me to do that.
A
Yeah.
B
It feels like there's a time and a place and on stage and doing my work, whether it's Hollywood Squares or, you know, everybody's live with John Mulaney or whatever. But it becomes a block when that bleeds into my life. And I always am trying to instill more decorum.
A
I'm happy to hear it, because I always think I feel like I'm annoying. Other people think I'm sullen. And then I judge myself for the times I'm trying not to be sullen. And then I'm annoying or braggy. And then I'm like, why don't you just be quiet and smile?
B
It's hard for us to be quiet. We're one of ten.
A
Yeah, I know. It's. And also, it's so obvious what's happening psychologically.
B
And by the way, it's like my whole family is like this, and we're all. Gabby, my wife has attested. Because people will be like. And I had a joke that. That. Excuse me. Went viral.
A
Hello.
B
About this. It was about interrupting that I started, like, in these rich families the first time, like, when I went for dinner and they're eating around a table, and one talks and then one talks, and, you know, they don't. Oh, I saw. Interrupted you. Like, I never grew up with families like that. We had 10 people talking at the same time at all times. And it worked. You caught what you caught. You had sidebars. You jumped in here. There was no. I could follow name calling. Tons.
A
The amount of F words. The gay slur that we no longer say.
B
Oh, we don't.
A
I mean, you. We don't say it on. On. On podcast, but the amount we would call each other that growing up is. It was. It was crazy.
B
I mean, we called each other poor. Like, we're like, you're poor. Well, you're poor, too.
A
Yes.
B
Like, it was just, like, the dumbest. Like, we called other kids, like, our neighbors, poor. We know how they live on a dumpster. Well, you're on food. It's like you're.
A
Yes.
B
You're poor, too. You know, we had, like, lowest jugular. Like, you know, well, your father's abusive. Like, literally.
A
Like, we had a Thanksgiving one year. There was a. Who's funniest?
B
Yeah.
A
Like not. I mean, this is very barbed, serious. Like, not. Not good.
B
Yeah.
A
It reminds me of this. How long ago this was. I, Rosie O' Donnell was on Bill O'Reilly show on Fox News, and they
B
were a hit together here.
A
What's funny is Bill O'Reilly, Bill Riley's yelling, and Rosie goes, bill, most people think that you're abrasive, but I'm from. I'm Irish from Long Island. I'm so at home. I don't think it's hostile. No, I don't. It's like, literally, like, when people go, why are you yelling? I'm like, this is communicating yelling. Yeah. It's like Larry David. It's like Larry David said one time everyone in his neighborhood was just yelling all the time.
B
Wolf's Glen restaurant in Westwood. That's how. Maybe it's a cultural thing. And I do. Gabby and I, we always discuss when we're in New York. I feel, I do feel at home in New York, even though New York is getting stuffier and stuffier. But I'm allowed to be New York. And, like, you're allowed to be what I call loud laugh, all of it.
A
So opinionated.
B
Opinionated.
A
Irritated somebody. Irritated's fine. It's fine. It's not.
B
Yeah. Somebody said you don't. You don't not have an opinion about any. You know, there's nothing you don't have an opinion about. And I thought. I thought, yeah. Not only do I not have an opinion, do I not have an opinion about something, I have a huge opinion about it. Like, it could be something you tell me right now, like, that I never even heard of. I'll have an opinion about. I'll have. And I'll make a. I have sometimes a very adamant opinion. I could be totally wrong. I don't need the information. I don't need the back. I would just tell you my opinion.
A
I think it's fun. I think it's. For first time I met Jerry Seinfeld, I said, I don't think the white sneakers work. I don't like them. I like the. I like jeans work.
B
I think they work. I think such a cutie.
A
Yeah.
B
I think he looks great. I thought the white sneakers were fun.
A
I don't like white sneakers. Okay.
B
But by the way, we both have opinions, right.
A
Neither one of them is right. He happens to agree with you. I don't think they work right, But. And then within. I think he actually said to me, he's like, you've said 10 things to me in the last half hour that no one ever says, which is fun.
B
Your blue shirt. I wish it was white.
A
I do, too.
B
Oh, you do too.
A
More than anything in the world.
B
So why are you wearing it?
A
Because I don't have any clean shirts. Because I've been spending more time in New York and all my good white shirts are there.
B
Okay.
A
So I'm on your side there. That's very. Because there are times where I'll do shows with. If it's not necessarily you, people like you, where I'm like, why don't you just be a sociopath, Neil? Why don't you just scream the way. Because I'm trying to even, like the main character hat. Like, I'm trying to just. I'm trying not to be. Call attention to myself. I am trying to call attention to myself, but I'm like, there's tension.
B
Yeah. I just realized, like, I kind of had to lean into who I like. It's very. My whole life, you know. Like, I'm boyish, for instance, so I used to. And I was like this. I was always a bit of a tomboy. So you were right in that.
A
Did you have surgery? Have you had surgery?
B
Yeah, I cut my tits off.
A
We got to talk about it, but
B
last thing, we'll talk about it. But I used to, when I was trying to fit in with my girlfriends, I had a group of friends, bunch of rich Jewish girls in high school. I was doing well at the school, the whole bit.
A
Do you color your hair?
B
No, I've never colored my hair. And none of. They were good girls. Not that coloring. Your hair is bad. But also, it's.
A
I don't know if that's what they do.
B
No, we didn't do much like that. I started a purse company with one of them. We designed dresses. We did different things like. Like that.
A
But go ahead.
B
And I would sit. I was making sure I was sitting femininely. Like, I just didn't want to tip off that I was, like, tomboyish in any way. Like, I was hyper feminine to some extent. I had a great.
A
Was it believable?
B
But yeah, yeah, I do. I did. Well, I was already annoying and loud.
A
Did you say you have a great body?
B
Yeah, I had a great body. Like, naturally, like, I could be hot, right? But I was so Annoying in class and talkative, which was fine for boys, but very hard to be for a girl. So the hot really helped balance me out. Like I was hot and I was careful how I spoke. Like my voice, I made it japier, which not shout out to all my Japanese fans. Nothing to do. Jewish American Princess. It's like, it's like, I don't know, like a Gina, but for girls.
A
I think we know. I think people know. It's just like a. Like a WASPy again, another abbreviation. Just like what we now just call like an influencer.
B
Yeah, exactly. So I would. I was very cognizant of all of that. Like how I sat, how I did. And then I over time started shedding that. That I want to wear, what I want to wear, be how I want to be.
A
Are there moments from that that are like in the story of that? There's. Are there. Like you make a choice, there's like two outfits and you pick the.
B
It was a slow transition, but I don't know, I have to. You know what? I have to give it to American Apparel on this one. I hate to do it. I hate to do it. Montreal Jew. But at American Apparel they had sizes. It wasn't explicitly men's or women's. The clothing they could. You could have a button down shirt, typically a men's item that was. It came even as small as XX small and I was small. So I could start wearing stuff like that. But it wasn't necessarily men's or women's, it was American Apparel and it was a button down.
A
Right.
B
So it started like that and I just started falling more into myself. I met people at school and university from New York again and I started thinking, well, what do I even sound like anymore? Because they sound like people, you know, everybody at home, my brothers who weren't at this fancy school and had no reason to be anyone. And I'm sure they had their own things, so I can't speak for them, but I don't know, I just stopped policing so much how I sound, how I look. But it was over time. I would just play around with it because I remember thinking, like, if I caught myself sounding too natural, then I would go back to a japier. Like I would do like a phone
A
call at the same location. Yeah, like the next day.
B
No, no, no. Like I would like, let's say in the heat of the moment of story and I got to meet Robbie. Then I like. So like, you know, I would do something that would bring it back to a more Canadian Jappy, like elite way of speaking versus in my home. And by the way, my older sister. Her voice, and I don't even remember, but like she calls, she has a phone voice because she, you know, worked in sales her whole life.
A
That's where the term phony from, by the way.
B
Oh, that's so funny. Literally didn't know that.
A
Yeah.
B
So, yeah. So her phone voice, like I worked on that like, you know, daily. And then I just started thinking, I don't know, the Pendulums. And then I was like too much. Like my voice landed somewhere in the middle. When I'm on stage and stuff, I can be. I don't have to. I can be as whatever. As whatever. But was for confusing for so long that I was trying to sound and sit and every little thing I thought about.
A
This is a very broad question.
B
Yeah.
A
So your feeling of gender and how many people do you think are like, truly in between?
B
I have so much to say on
A
the floor because I find myself like, I'm just like, pretty conventional. Like, I don't, I don't have any.
B
No, you're a faggot. I'm gonna tell you why, but I have to pee. Okay.
A
Oh, you're gonna pee. No, please. I can't wait. Guys, can you already believe we're one or two months into 2026? That doesn't mean it's time to move on, away from your goals. Huel is the perfect solution for your high protein routine, support busy days, habit building, convenience, and control. All of 2026. You got this. You gotta lock in. I drink Huel. I drank it before they advertise, I drink it during, I drink it when. If they pull back, I'm gonna keep drinking it. And you know, I love to hold a grudge, guys. I'm not gonna hold a grudge with Huell because the stuff is that good. And I'm serious. It will hurt me to drink it because my feelings are gonna be hurt that they stopped advertising, but it's that good. I take the vanilla, I take the chocolate. I pour a little bit of the vanilla out of the bottle. I pour a little bit of chocolate into the vanilla bottle. I shake it up, I drink. Tastes great. It's not sugary. It's filled with vitamins. I'll tell you, that's what I do. Lately I've been directing stuff. I got to go to the. I got to drive to a location. I bring it on the road. It's. It's great. I don't like wasting time with a lot of food. Prep a lot of mixing bowls and just shake it up. Boosh. They got two main ones. They got the Ready to drink black edition. That's the one I. That I just explained. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. It's just easier. It takes the thought, it takes the worry. I don't have to go get a salad. Here's what it has in it. 35 grams of protein. Great. 27 essential vitamins and minerals. Great. No artificial sweeteners, colors or flavors. Great. Gluten free. Loving it. Under $5ameal. Cheap person. Under $5ameal is something. Now it's a complete meal. You can literally grab and go. It's perfect. It's like being in the future. You just go like, oh, look at my drink. My protein drink. And it could be sad, but it's delicious. Powder. This one I will do a little. If I want to, like go crazy with the protein, I'll do more than the Reco almond milk powder. Shake it in the customized branded Huel bottle. I'm. It takes me up to 70, 80, 90, 100 grams. I don't even know how many, but it tells you it's a lot of. It's a lot of. It's a lot of protein. It's fine though. Look, I'm wearing it pretty well. Here's the limited time offer. Get Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15% off online with code N E A L@huel.com new customers only. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. Remind them to fill out the post checkout survey to support the show if applicable. I was supposed to just say that and not read it. Fill out the form, guys. Support the show. Support Huell. It's a virtuous cycle. Huell.com promo code. Neil. See you there. Guys. Rag and Bone. Long time user, first time, third time endorser. Okay, got, I got two rag and bone. They call them pieces. I don't like to call them pieces, but one of them's a denim, black denim, which will show them, show them, show me killing it in the black denim. It's soft as hell. It's great, right? My girlfriend loves it. She likes me in dark shirts. I don't know why. Okay, second thing, and this was the shocker. I got like a gray, I guess it's quilted shirt jacket. This is not it. This is not a good top. I mean, it's not bad, but it's not, you know what I Mean, I've never gotten more compliments. I'm not just saying that because it's an ad. Never got more compliments. And then I let people try it on. I let men and women try it on. Never done that before. Everyone loves it. So warm. It's shocking because in New York it's been like incredibly cold and this thing has damn near saved my life. Let's show them. Well, show them. This is me on stage in the shirt. It's incredible. Good materials, good craftsmanship. These are stalwarts, these are flagship shirts. They're staying in the rotation. They got. I can wear it a bunch of different places. I can wear it on stage, I can wear it to run errands, I can wear it on a date with my lady, which I have. I'll show you. Me, I'm wearing it. Here's a photo of me in Amsterdam wearing it. You can't, you can't stop me from wearing this thing. All over the world they got this infused denim and they use a meticulous eight step process to create rich multi dimensional washes from indigo to black. They got all sorts of. Again, it looks cool as hell. Guys, it's time to upgrade your denim with rag and bone. For a limited time, our listeners get 20% off their entire order with code neal@ragbone.com. that's 20% off@rag-bone.com with promo code N, E A L. When they ask you where you heard about it, please support our show and tell them the blocks podcast promo code Neal. I'm telling you, so much video, so much video, so many stills. I'm telling you, I've been telling people on the street and now I'm telling people on video and audio. Rag and bone.
B
How many people in between? I think not a lot.
A
Okay.
B
I also think it's tough to say, you know, I have to explain all these matters to my family, right? If it's like, if it's like anything that's in the zeitgeist that has to do with this comes to me, I'll have you know.
A
Six, by the way, I like your approach. Like your they them joke is really funny because it's like any they thems
B
here that fizzled out. Huh. And also say this. If you ever went by they them, you should not be able to go back. No backseize you, plural.
A
You're acknowledging that it's a little aggravating to have to like make and then it's like, no, if we're doing like, you're not Jumping around. If you want changes.
B
Yeah, no, you have to work with people, you know what I mean?
A
Yeah. You have to work with people that are not inclined, that don't understand it necessarily.
B
And that's fine. I don't see. I've never had a need to be understood.
A
Okay.
B
Like let's say people don't understand me. I go, okay, it's for me to know. Yeah, I need to find out if you want. Like, I just, I don't have this thing that everybody needs to know me
A
and, and validate it.
B
Yeah. Like, I just don't think that I need to be understood. Like, let's say I cut my tits off and somebody doesn't understand that. That's fine with me. There's so much I don't understand. You know, I had, I had dinner with, with a fan with my friend's family and they had like, you know, the grandparents were there or whatever and they were asking me about they, them and then I play the other side of it, you know, when they, they were going, well, they, them. Why is it I don't understand? I said, you don't understand space travel. Like there's a. Suddenly this old bitch has to understand everything. You haven't understood a million dollars.
A
Also, do you understand why we have to call doctors? Doctors?
B
Yeah, it's like insane. So that I. That was.
A
Yes, but. So let's go back to the original question, which is how many people do you think are a bit like, fuck, I don't fit into.
B
I explained it to this, my family because, you know, when Elliot Page happened, I got six of my siblings sent me the article, what's going on?
A
Six out of five.
B
My brother's like, she wants to a boy. Well, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a dragon, so.
A
Right.
B
And it's like, what. Why is this my. But I explained it to my sister and my brother in law. So I'm. I'm a woman dating a woman. Okay. So we're. Right, we're lesbians. I look like this. I choose to wear things like this. Okay.
A
How would you describe the style?
B
Like men's clothing? I'm not wearing anything that's bought in the women's section.
A
Yep.
B
I wear men's clothing and she, you know, dresses slutty.
A
Is that true?
B
Yeah, she loves that.
A
Great.
B
Okay, so she likes to wear very girly things and ba ba, ba.
A
I have a question. Can we pause and I ask a question about her? Does she like. She likes to dress slutty because she likes all gendered attention, female attention, sexual attention from men. Sexual attention from women. What is it?
B
She. She just loves. She loves herself and loves how she looks in the clothing that she wears. Everything she wears is like, this looks good on me. Just like, when I put on this. I don't want anyone's attention necessarily. I just feel so sick in it. She feels sick in the shit she wears.
A
Right.
B
So we really understand each other in that way. But, okay, so she wears girly clothes. She wears girl clothes. She's. You know, she does her. And I do this. Yes, we're both lesbians, but what's the other thing? Right? Like, yeah, we're both lesbians. We're both a girl with a girl. But why am I doing this other thing? What's the point that. What's the thing that makes me want to dress like a boy?
A
Yeah.
B
You know, not all girls want to do that.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, for instance, when I cut my tits off, like, yes, I'm a woman, but I don't think it's a normal thing for most girls to want to get rid of their tits. Something is off. Did you.
A
That's got to be an urge that. You were like, dad, do I really want to do this? Like, it's.
B
I really wanted to do it.
A
For how long?
B
It was no problem for me. I mean, as soon as I heard of it, first of all, before I was doing it, I had. I was always wearing a sports bra.
A
Right.
B
I was always trying to make them flatter.
A
They were aggravating. They were unnecessary. What.
B
How would you like looking more gabby?
A
You had a photo of your chest now, and it's. It. I. I was like, I had no idea. Yeah, it's a nice chest.
B
It's great.
A
It's a nice guy's chest.
B
Yeah. No, it's. I had such.
A
Is it a guy's chest?
B
Is that what you describe it exactly? I don't have the. You know. Yeah, they left me my muscle and everything. So the natural.
A
Yeah.
B
I think what people don't realize is that the chest surgery I had was an elective plastic surgery. It was a double mastectomy. But not the one for breast cancer. The one for breast cancer. People who maybe have the BRCA gene or preventative or they've had cancer and need to have surgery, remove them. That is a little more invasive because that cuts all the muscle, the tissue. They can't leave your muscle. And the cuts might not be as straight because they're scooping out. My scar is right along my pectoral muscle. But if you have the Broca gene 1, which is not a plastic surgery, they're removing your pectoral muscles.
A
Do men and women have basically the same pectoral muscle?
B
Yeah, women just have mammary glands and basically fat.
A
Can we call it titty mate?
B
Yeah, exactly. But under there is muscle. It would be. It doesn't go straight to organs. Every part of your body is also covered in a layer of muscle. So they're able to, you know, put the. The scar neatly somewhere where it's hidden just, you know, on where you would have a crease anywhere with your pectoral muscle, but not the brca. Because people go, oh, but yeah, it is a separate surgery.
A
You're different than your wife.
B
Yeah. Like something is off. When I found out about the surgery, so before the surgery, I was always flattening just because I liked how it looked in the clothes and how. And what I. What I wanted more, you know, there were signs early. For instance, my brothers always remember that I took them shopping. I did all my brothers dating profiles when they were on plenty of fish. You know, when they started working, my brother worked at Purolator, FedEx, whatever. And they started we. Because we always grew up with used clothing, which is cool now, vintage. But that's why everything I have is vintage. But it's like. Or a lot of what I have is secondhand. But I used to be very embarrassed about that. And then it blew up.
A
But I'm still shocked that it blew up.
B
It's. It's crazy.
A
I'm like, really? I. That I.
B
You.
A
I would have bet money against that working.
B
Yeah. No, it was so embarrassing as a kid to be shopping in Value Village and Goodwill and that sort of stuff. But now it's like, you know, they've driven the prices up there too. But we used to go to Old Navy. Like, we're going to buy new shit.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, my brothers were like, we're going to take. Buy new shit, take pictures and get ourselves a girl. And I would go shopping with all of them. Buy this. Buy this. You know, to this day, my brother will like, go shop.
A
Is that feminine or masculine?
B
No, that I only went boys shopping, okay? Like, I'd be like, I could dress you. And they always came to me.
A
But I have no interest in dressing my friends.
B
No, I know, but why do I. But, but, but why would I have an. It's like a gay guy having interest in making dresses. That's what I'm doing the opposite of. Right. Like, I'm a girl interested in men's. Fashion.
A
Okay.
B
Versus, like. Yeah, of course.
A
And I would like to say now for the record, Hasan Minaj offered to take me shopping in the last year and it was. I'm still, I still don't know what's happening.
B
No, I would love to take you shopping.
A
Okay.
B
This is terrible. The hoodie is cutie, but this T shirt's. No, the T shirt color. How it even ended up, how you ended up with this T shirt, I
A
would say teal works for me.
B
No, this is not teal. No, this. No, forget that stupid thing. Forget that. It's not popping nothing.
A
Okay.
B
All we see is the shirt not on there, there. It's more muted. So people are going to be sickly.
A
But.
B
Yeah, no, you do look sickly.
A
The lights are too.
B
But you could look like that for 40, 50 years.
A
We'll bring this.
B
No, but like, people who look like you, it's like 50 years later. I'm like, he looked like that 50 years ago.
A
That's right.
B
So it's not bad. Yeah. So. And then as soon as top surgery, I heard of it, I wanted it, and I was like, oh, that's it.
A
How old?
B
30. Oh, yeah, I got it recently.
A
Right. But I'm saying all this, that's the other thing that I think that people are not being is like, this is new stuff. So to act like, what's wrong with you, you bigot? You don't understand. It's like, it's all pretty new.
B
Yeah, it's pretty new. And it's also like, why do we force everyone to understand everything? Like, it's just so bizarre. I just, I kind of like being like, well, we don't know what's going on with her. Like, that's just good in that space, people just treat.
A
No, that's. When I saw the photo of you, I was like, oh, that's interesting. I had no emotions other about it, other than like, oh, that's. I bet that was an interesting decision to come to.
B
And like, it was so easy for me and I'm lucky. So I do feel that gender dysphoria. Like, I feel like, you know, Gabby explains it so great with the top surgery. She goes, you know how some girls want bigger tits, they want to be more feminine or they feel like it's, you know, they like how it looks better in a dress. They want like nicer cleavage or whatever, you know, makes them feel like a woman or like she wants to be less girly.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, she like, like, like some people like more or less and you
A
like the way the clothes hang as well?
B
Yeah. I mean, people at my brother goes, I hope it's just you stopping here. You know, My brothers go, like, okay, and that's enough. We're stopping here. And you know what? They're right. I am stopping here. You know, I don't do. There's certain boyish things I like and other things I don't like. I do kind of.
A
And you don't need it to make sense.
B
You don't need it to make sense.
A
It doesn't need to be consistent. You are openly, like, yeah, I guess I'm supposed to like that. I don't like it.
B
I have friends who are trans men who have totally taken. They take testosterone. They've done. You know, they've, you know, basically testosterone or maybe some other surgeries or whatever. And. And I feel grateful that I'm fine just like this. This is the touch I needed. I haven't even cut my hair. I have long hair. I don't. These things don't bother me, but I know people who want to feel even more boyish. What ethos is. I've been good here.
A
Like, who's your.
B
No. 1. Just like, this is.
A
There's. You don't have a thing in mind now?
B
I know. How many examples? I don't know.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't know anyone else who's really done this. Not a ton of people. There's just not, like, a lot of history. You know, I kind of.
A
You do look like someone in the special. The Singles of you.
B
Yeah.
A
Look like you're from the 30s.
B
Yeah. No glasses.
A
Because the glasses.
B
Right.
A
So there is a lot of history.
B
Yeah. No, exactly. Exactly. But I'm saying, like, in terms of, like, kind of like it became possible and I did it, you know? And I don't know, I just. I just like it.
A
Yeah. It's also. It's also. It's like. It's okay. It's a thing. It's not defining. It's like a part. You've got 10 interesting parts of your personality. It's one of them. Maybe that's not even. It's just like. I don't know. I did it and I don't think about it.
B
Yeah. And I don't know. I know people who've done more or less or whatever. And look, if I couldn't get it done, if it was something that didn't exist, I'd be fine, but it was something available. I was able to do it, and so I did it. I. I just didn't and many people don't understand it. I mean, I had to tell one of my brothers, my older brother, I said, well, you know, because, you know, with. With cysts. And I never even said I had. But I said, with cysts and. And different things. And he called me later, said, you did the right thing. He said, my wife's sister, something terrible. You did the right. So I like to this day he might think I. I did it as a perfect. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not trying to explain everybody everything. You know, he's like, medical, you did the right thing. Get rid of him. So better today?
A
Yeah. It's really interesting that if it's a justification that they can get behind, then like. Yeah, then none of the political or sociological or art choices that you made it for. He don't have to worry about that.
B
Yeah, I just. I don't know. I just, like, I just wanted.
A
Is it. Does it get you. Does it feel like it gets you closer to satisfied or closer to like the self acceptance or like.
B
I feel very accepted? Yeah, that's the thing.
A
It's like it got more than you did.
B
Let's say I had my tits still. And again, this surgery didn't exist and it was 30 years and I never even heard of it or whatever. I'd be fine. It wouldn't be the worst thing. I still enjoy. I love being me. Thank God, I don't think it's for everyone to be me. I got a weird one. I feel like God's looking, he's sending me this one. I go, God, that's a weird one. I can do it.
A
This idea.
B
Yeah, the idea of me, like, if God's like assigning souls to bodies or whatever and he gives me. I go, okay, that's kind of a strange one. You know, I. Anything easier or anything, you know, and they're going, now we think you can handle that one. I go, okay, I've done well. For me, like, I've handled myself very well. Like, not everybody could. Could be this. I was given this and I enjoy it. I enjoy it quite a bit. So if that surgery didn't exist, if other things, like, I would be fine. I would be wearing my sports bras, I'd probably be doing that, but I'd feel better in them and that would be it. I know plenty of dykes who maybe would remove their tits, maybe not, but they're fine. There's always going to be, I think for me or for most people, something of the body, you know, I'm Not. I don't think. I think there's a difference between some people chasing and chasing. It's never enough.
A
Yeah. You know, well, that's like certain people that get so much surgery that you're like.
B
Like a tattoo or something. And even with the surgery, you know, me getting it, you know, as soon as I found out about it, I said, okay, well, we'll wait two years. Because I always thought, if I want a tattoo, I'll wait one year for a tattoo.
A
This waiting period that you wait.
B
Because, you know, part of not having such involved parents, my mother was spread very thin over the 10 kids and my father was absent, is I learned to self parent a little bit, you know, so I'm like, well, if I did have parents and I wanted a Tattoo, yes, I'm 30, but I want a tattoo. And I had parents, good parents in my life. They'd tell me, maybe wait a year.
A
Yeah.
B
So I would implement parental controls.
A
And these are things that you just picked up of, like, maybe be smart about this. It wasn't like that.
B
Yeah. Also, I was a bit as a parent, too, because again, you probably relate to this more than anybody that I know. You know, you probably have brothers and sisters who, yes, are your brothers and sisters, but they were also parents to you, in a way.
A
I have several.
B
Yeah. So, you know, my little brother was my little brother, but he's also my son. You know, I did grow up with a very maternal life, just. Just for my younger siblings, just, you know, I was five years old changing my brother, and he was almost my size. Yeah, he was a big baby and I was very small. And I would hoist him onto the table, get his legs up. His balls were the size of his ass. And I would get, you know, and I would get the diaper under and close him up. But so. So I've had those parental controls, like on other. So I just. When I moved out at 17, 18, I started being like, well, you're not just going to be lawless. Like, you know, we need. We need. We need control.
A
Like, you knew.
B
Yeah. So I would try and implement what I would tell maybe my little sisters or my little brother or what somebody. An active parent, my friends, who at this point, again, I met all these rich people who came from what I thought were good families. They had parents talking to them even through their 20s. You know, they would ask their parents for decision on what kind of a car, anything, really. So I would try and do that. So I said, if I want a tattoo, I'm gonna wait One year surgery. I said, rob, surgery. That's two years. Yeah, I remember. That's. You're not going near surgery. And that gave me time.
A
Did you research? Okay, so everything.
B
Yep, everything to get my consult, to get my. My everything in order that I needed to have the best research possible.
A
Online communities, Reddit, anything online, the doctors
B
websites, all of it. And. And so then I got it. But I did put a control. I wait for everything. That's a small thing. If I want. Okay. This sweatshirt I got half off at Sensor. Okay. It's a brand name I grew up dreaming.
A
Like a Sensor.
B
It's like a resale site.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay. Some is like. Or, you know, Grails. It's pre. You know, it's used.
A
There's a Reddit thread you may want to follow called Frugal Male Fashion.
B
Oh, okay.
A
They got.
B
I'm worried that you're on that. And that's where you got that shirt.
A
This is all free. This was. I direct commercials and they just go. The costume guy goes, I got shirts. And I go, all right, give me some. I'm very. I'm cheap before anything.
B
Okay, I can't wait to dress.
A
But I know how to dress. But I can dress.
B
I just don't care.
A
Frugal Male Fashion is exactly the kind of sweatshirt they would have on there, I think. Yeah.
B
So I wanted this sweatshirt. In truth, I wanted a new zip. I wanted something to travel in because I have one zip down already, but I find it a little tight. It's not like, cozy to be on the plane with. Like, I kind of want a big sweatshirt just for the day to day. I wait, I don't know, a month to three months for something like that. A sweatshirt.
A
You ever do the thing where you put it in your cart and then don't buy it and then come back?
B
Yeah, I percolate for a while.
A
Yeah.
B
Everything I percolate a while on kind of anything I bring in or I do. And the bigger the thing. Yes. A sweatshirt. One month. Okay. But it's an expensive sweatshirt.
A
Yeah.
B
It's a brand I like. Whatever. A surgery, Rob, that is two years minimum, if you still want it. And you have to have wanted as much as you want it. And I was even more sure.
A
Great.
B
So it was an easy decision for me. It wasn't. It's like when people tell us so hard to perform standup comedy. Not for me. Not for me. Yeah, for you. You can't imagine it, but I find small talk.
A
But I'm so desperate.
B
Harder. Like I Find other things way harder. Like, once I'm free and I'm on stage and it's just me and they're going, robbie, you actually get to talk as much as you want right now. That's perfect for me. For other people, they're like, what me talk? You know, so it's just. It feels. What feels natural to me may not. Joe Rogan has said it before on his podcast, people tend to vary. And I've agreed with that little phrase. I haven't agreed with all of his opinions, but people tend to vary is a very nice way of putting it.
A
Yeah. And you didn't. And you don't. Ethically, morally grown up Jewish, because I wonder when you. Is it nature or nurture? Do you think, like, the one, as you say, cut your tits off.
B
Yeah.
A
Is that a. Where do you think it's from?
B
I literally don't know. Yeah, just like an idea. Sometimes I get an idea and I'm like, I didn't read anything. No, an idea comes. It's like manna from the sky. Like, I'm like, oh, my God, thank God that came to me. That's actually really working out.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't know. You know, I had a therapist early on when I went to school on subsidy. I went to university and I got a scholarship and it was a financial aid scholarship. And part of it was you had to sit with a therapist and you. To get in, you just had to meet with her every six months. Like, part of the schools, like, you had to meet with, like, the accounts. Like, you had to show your budget. Like, you know. You know, they maybe gave you $500 a month for living or something. And they would be like, you know, what's miscellaneous 150? I'm like, Heat, heat. Could be. You know, I'm trying not to use it, but sometimes they just. They fuck it. And it was. We had that cold snap and I was frozen and I used the heat every day for that week. And that's why the miscellaneous one, you know, I would have to defend my life like this.
A
Yeah.
B
It was so crazy.
A
That is crazy. Wild.
B
It was so crazy. And, yeah, I've always been defending my place and earning my place. And that's a reason I talk a lot, too. It's like I was at rich people's houses or in a rich institution, and it's like, okay, I'm not bringing the pool. You know, my house isn't the one with the pool. And you go, but I'm bringing the Hot Topics. I'm Bringing the good tea.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay. And it's a thankless job to be the one with the personality if you have nothing else to contribute. I didn't bring the food. I didn't bring the steaks. I'm not. It's not my pool, you know. But I'm bringing the action. I'm bringing the takes. Later on, when we started to go out as girls, I'm hitting on the guy. I'm getting us boyfriends. No problem. I was hot, I had a good mouth, and I could at least get us in there.
A
Maybe I did you ever deal with guys?
B
Yeah, all the time.
A
And how'd you like it?
B
I did very well.
A
Did you like sex stuff with them?
B
I didn't. I only had sex six times. Well, three times, really. I love flirting.
A
Well, that's a bit of a game. And social and.
B
Yeah, I like the social. That's what I'm saying. I just like the whole thing. And I like guys a lot. So I was always kind of into them, but I'm not, like, deep. But I did like. I like guys a lot. And I said, and I work with a lot of guys now, and it's great. It's less.
A
What do you like about when you specifically say that? What do you mean?
B
I don't know. I just have fun with guys.
A
Yeah.
B
I just have always. I have had a lot of brothers. I love girls, and my best friends are girls. One of my best friends is a guy. Two of them, actually. But I don't know. I like both for different. I don't know. I just like people, and I like
A
both of them, you know, because I've been vegan a long time, and everybody's asking me about my iron and my protein and my calcium. I've been on some blood work stuff for a while. But the problem with blood work is you get a reading. Maybe you load in the results into AI. You kind of don't know what's going on. You don't. This is why. And also, it's expensive to get blood work. And then. So anyway, here's what I like about Superpower. Superpower is sent to a licensed professional, to your home, or you can visit a nearby lab. It's one simple blood draw, and then they check for over 100 biomarkers, way more than you'd usually get, which unlocks so much more info about your body. Their app includes detailed information on your heart, liver, thyroid, hormones, metabolism, vitamin and mineral levels, and even environmental toxins. So from disease prevention to treating that annoying brain fog or Simply optimizing your gym game. Superpower is the most comprehensive and advanced system out there. That's the other thing is like that hundred biomarkers thing is great. They can actually tell you what to do and why to do it, which supplements to take, how much sleep, what you need to focus on your diet, what you're missing. Because I'm using it. I've been. I don't even know what. I just go. I click the things and I get them and I eat them. Superpower used to cost 499, but right now it's just 199 for the full experience. That's more affordable than anything else out there. I can attest to that. Other testing services charge 500 1000, sometimes more for similar or less. Know your numbers with Superpower. Your blueprint activated with Superpower. Not only did Superpower reduce their price to just 199, but for a limited time, our listeners get an additional $20 off with code N E A L. Head to superpower.coms u p e r p o w e r.com and use code NEAL at checkout for $20 off your membership. After you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about them. Please make sure to mention this podcast to support the show, guys. It would mean the world to us. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. All right, here's the thing, guys. Squarespace. I knew that they use I use Squarespace on my website. I had a different web guy who built my website, David Paul Meyer, who went on to win an Emmy for directing the Daily show with Trevor Noah. But back then, it was during COVID and he was like, hey. I was like, hey, you want to help me out? Anyway, he used Squarespace. I got the login. I'm in charge of the website now, guys. You got a problem with the layout, talk to number one. But here's what I. What I found very interesting about the. About Squarespace. It's got a lot more than it did last time I was on it. Okay, so it's got the layout stuff you can. And I put videos and links to here, and I got to figure more of that out. I'm still like, literally in the middle. I was doing it yesterday, but it's got more like back of house mailing list. It's just got stuff that you can do from the point of view of owning the website. I could sell a lot of merch on there. I could do do email lists. I could do like live things. I could do. There's just way More than I remembered. It's got what used to be you'd need five different websites or different apps or different programs to use. Like, now it's all on Squarespace. So it's great. It's not expensive. It's effective. You can also buy domain names on there. There's just so much stuff you can do on Squarespace. I was very impressed. I'm not. Look, am I saying ready to go to neilbrennon.com and check out my work? Look, if you want to go to. Before you do that, go to squarespace.com Neal for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Neal to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Guys, they're doing it all. Squarespace promo code Neal at a therapist
B
assigned from the school that I'd have to meet maybe every six months to do this assessment whether I still need financial aid or not. I'm, like, still poor. Like, yeah, my grades are good, whatever. And she was like. And I was starting to dress the way again, think American Apparel. I was starting to wear stuff maybe that I like to wear. I had one or two good shirts or what I thought were, like, cool going out shirts that I would wear. And I don't know why she asked me, but I. It came up in the therapy that my sexuality and I'm exploring. I have a girlfriend or whatever. And she goes. And I'm like, yeah, I just like, you know, every time I walk into a room, I look like this now. Yeah, it's like. It's just, you know, you're just always like, oh, like, you know, it's nothing. It's wrong, but it's. It is different. It's. It's weird. Most. Most aren't. She goes, do you think you'd feel better if you chose to wear different clothing? And then I remember thinking, like, Well, I actually. I'm not even like. Or if you chose, you know, if you liked other clothing or if you could, like. I don't remember how she said it, but I'm like, I don't choose taste. Like when you go to a store, when you go to Uniqlo.
A
Yeah.
B
And they have the women's section and the men's section like this. When you're looking at the store, I go, ooh, new. New cords. New brown cords. I wonder if they have my size. I. I'm not, like, choosing.
A
If you have signs you would still
B
go to, like, yeah, I just. I've never been like, oh, the summer dresses came in, like, it's just. It doesn't speak to me in the way that, like, Gabby is genuinely excited. Like, I've always just.
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, those look sick. I wonder if they come in small sizes.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, and I just. So it wasn't. It would be me choosing not to wear. Like, this is much less of a choice. Me actively choosing to wear the summer dress. That would be a choice and a hard choice. Like, I would have to be like, okay, you have to wear this. You should wear this. You know, that feels a lot more like a choice than this, which feels a lot more organic and natural.
A
It seems like you can't help it. You can't. You can't help but be yourself anymore.
B
Yeah, I wanted to.
A
Right, right. So it. And how long was that process? Is it. Do you think it's done? Do you think you've got, like, all right, I am doing. I am who I want to be?
B
Well, I think. I think, God willing, you know, we have. I. I think to know a life takes a life. If. If. If, God willing, you're given 120 years or 90 years or 85 years or 70 years or, you know, 97 years. I think you needed every one of those years to figure it out. Like, I think that the purpose of life, maybe what people is just. Is the life, you know, people.
A
What's discerning, what's what. What is happening. You think it's like.
B
No, it's just. It's. You get one model car, it's you.
A
Yeah.
B
And you got to get your car to the end.
A
Yeah.
B
That's life. Like, you're working on your car. It's you.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, the point of a life is a life. And so, yes, I think I love, you know, love what's going on with myself, and I really feel myself. I can't say that there's. I'm done feeling more myself or, you know, I'm sure there's an ebb and flow, but. But it's really fun knowing yourself more and more and more. And I think it takes an entire life to have a life, whatever years you've given. I think I would have needed every day of that.
A
Were there things that surprised you that you ended up like? Things. Because there are times when I think about my life and I'm like, it all feels connected. It all feels like. If you told me at age 5 that I'd be wearing this shirt, it is a very childish shirt, but it all feels like, yeah, that seems pretty of a piece. Are there things that are surprising to you?
B
I think it's unusual because I did think that, yes, I don't have anything compared to all these people around me, especially when I went to that school and all that stuff. I really have nothing. And I've talked to this a little bit, but I really felt like I have nothing. Like, there's roaches, like, there's holes in the wall. It's like there's cellophane on the windows to keep the heat in. It's like my great Uncle Eddie's got piss all over his pants walking around the house. Like, it's just horrible. I have nothing. But then I. I always felt in the back, like I. I have almost. Like, I, I. Yes, I have nothing. I have almost nothing, really, because I have me. Like Rob, we have. We basically have nothing. You're right. But we have. We do have me. It's not nothing. It's close to nothing. There's no question it's close to nothing, but it isn't actually nothing. And let's see what we could do with that, like, nugget, like, that tiny flame. Like, we just have to keep it going. Blow on it. We just have to, like, get out of here. Like, I felt. I remember seeing the value in the way I spoke at school or my public speaking or writing or getting, you know, having friends and being able to maneuver and that my personality was doing the whole thing. That I didn't have anything, that I had ugly shoes, that I had nothing good compared to other people. That on free dress day, I still wore the uniform because I didn't have anything to wear.
A
Yeah.
B
And so I would pretend to the kids, like, oh, I forgot it was free dress day. Even though we're all looking forward to it.
A
Yeah.
B
Forever. It would. I'd be dreading it because I'm like, I literally have nothing to wear.
A
Yeah.
B
But the uniform and. Yeah. So I felt. I remember at some point feeling we. We. And then. So that started getting like, we're gonna. Well, are we gonna do something with that or not? And then I just went all in on me, like, okay. Almost as if to talk to me as a little girl and be like, hey, little Rob. Like, I. You know, I almost, like, I'm like, you know, she's still impatient. Like, what are we doing here? Like, what's going on? Are we there yet? And I'm going. I am doing the best I can to get us there. You have no idea what I'm up to.
A
What do you think there is? What does she think there is?
B
Just everything we wanted. Just. Just, you know, just the most. I don't even limit a dream because it's free. So I don't even. Just keep going.
A
Just, you know, Is it merch? Not merch, literally. But is it. Is it ours?
B
It's now. It's like we. We're now in an enjoyment phase where we're like. We're doing what we like it. Like now it's like when people go. And I'm sure you've experienced this too, sometimes when you. When you have a special or something, or you're part of a big show and they go like, oh, you know, where did you come from? Did you always think. And I go, yeah, I was. I was saying, there's something here.
A
Yeah.
B
I actually was first to think. I think there's something here.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, as a kid, I was like, but I think there's something here. Like, we, you know, it's not good, Rob. It's not ideal. I wouldn't wish this for anyone. Your child, you know, it's not ideal. You could have more stuff, there's no question. But we don't have nothing. So I don't know. That's how I feel. Like now we're in an enjoyment phase where it's like me and the kid is a little. The kid and me have integrated a little bit more and we're kind of just enjoying, like, wow. We were kind of right. There was something here.
A
That's one of the themes of the show is, like, people thought. Had a suspicion about themselves and we
B
were kind of right.
A
Yeah. And it's not. It. You could say it's arrogant because it's. Whatever. It's easy to say that, but it's like. It's more heartwarming than that.
B
No, because if I was bad at stand up, I would have not done it.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, I would have. I gave myself six months. I also had a parentification of myself through stand Up. Like, when I heard of it, I'm like, what is it? Even you're not doing that. If. What is it? It's. There's no job. This. What is it?
A
Yeah.
B
And then I started doing it and it was like, going good. I said, you have six months. If it's not going good. Because I was seeing losers. Bomb.
A
Did you know what. What, What. What is good after six months?
B
Like, not, like, doing well.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, I was winning best of Open mic, you know, any small competition. I was entering, you know, you know, best Canadian. Whatever. Whatever. Like, whatever. I could. I could enter whatever Mic I could. I could perform at festival. Can I get in? No, because I think. I think most of the time you're wrong. I happen to be right about it. But I'm unusual.
A
Most people should give themselves a time.
B
Oh, my God, I wish they did.
A
That's what I'm.
B
I wish they did. No, no, I'm saying, like, so many people think I think I could do that, and they can't. Like, this was a unique. Yeah, you're probably. You're probably wrong. Yeah, I happened to be right. And I had a very good. I had. It wasn't like a sure thing. It was like. I'm pretty sure it was like. It was like. Yeah, it. It felt like I had a good enough hunch if you don't have that. But either way, even with that, I was like six months. Because your hunch could be. You were dead wrong. You bomb. Nobody, nobody likes you. Like, you're not doing the thing. But. But it was going good. It was going good. So that's why I continued doing it. And then I had a calling on my hands, and then I was horrified because I'm like, I wouldn't wish a calling on my worst enemy. I mean, who wants to go out here and do this every night? I'm gonna be poor for sure.
A
Yeah.
B
If I choose this, this is sure poverty. There's no money here. I want a competition. I want a certificate. There's no money. I spent four hours at this club.
A
Had you not googled stand up comedy salary.
B
So I just thought, like, I wouldn't wish a calling unless you're sure. Like, I felt like Moses. Like, but why me? I'm like, why do I have to
A
go out and do this off? Yeah, stand up, chop your tits off.
B
You have to do. Stand up and chop your tits off. And I said, all right. God. For you. I said, for you, I'll do it.
A
Balenciaga sweatshirt, the old Prada sneakers.
B
Love it.
A
You gotta dress like that. I mean. Yeah, you have a calling and you're annoying to people.
B
Well, I was. No, no. First of all. First of all. And to a lot of people, I'm not.
A
No, no, no. I don't say it like I think you are. I'm saying the downside is you do have a calling to be good at, that you're gonna be deficient in other categories, first of all.
B
And I don't even think I'm that annoying. I think it's because we're forced into so much small talk and I'm triggered to keep it going or something that it gets annoying.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, but if you guys had good topics and stuff, like, I wouldn't be that annoying if somebody definitely not talking to you. But there's many people we could probably talk about together.
A
Sure.
B
You I always wanted to talk to. I also have no chill with people that I admire. So let's say I went up to you. Now, the reason I know you is my brother Shmuel is a huge fan. Great. You know, so things like this come up. Like, I saw you were on with Neil Brennan. Like, did you.
A
You know, you mentioned one of the. Come on the podcast as at the store one night.
B
Yeah. Oh, I mentioned him.
A
Yeah.
B
Which.
A
Great. Yeah.
B
No, so. So when I go up, like, I'm worried that I'm too. I don't have that Hollywood thing of, like, pretending you don't care. Like, I will go up to be
A
like, I'm the same way.
B
Oh, really?
A
I am. I am very openly, like, hey, but
B
we shouldn't be doing that. Like, I started learning. Like, and it takes everything out of me. Like, it takes everything out.
A
Not do the obvious thing.
B
Yeah. To not, like, go up and be like, by the way, like, I liked you in this, and I liked you in this. Like, and people do it to me. And I don't mind at all, like, when people come up because I'm like, oh, I don't.
A
I. I don't mind it if you. If there's nothing you can say to most people that's like, you can't say, like, I liked you in hey, Brad Pitt. I liked you in Fight Club.
B
Like, no, but people don't want you. A lot of the people with the air, they don't want you. Like, they like to be not liked. Like, they have that. They have that thing that some people in relationships chase. Like, they like a guy who. Who doesn't like them. You know, like, if the guy doesn't like you, then the girl's, like, in love with him, you know? So it's like, that vibe happens a lot. And I've never had that. Like, people ask me, have I ever dated, like, straight girls or whatever. I'm like, I've never been interested in people who aren't interested in me because I don't like to impose. Like, you have to like me to like me.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, I don't want to be like, oh, my God, they don't like me.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, that's. I want to die. I want to leave. Like, I don't. If somebody doesn't like me I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like, I had. No, I only want you people come to me voluntarily. Like come to the shows, you know,
A
I'm not there to impose a good partner. Spouse. Yes, go on. What?
B
I'm just a, I love it.
A
You love being in a partnership?
B
Well, yeah, I love being married to my wife.
A
Yep.
B
Yeah. I've had bad partnerships, but I hesitate to say bad because of course you're supposed to learn in those years, you know, I would rather have had relationships that failed before my marriage for sure.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, and had that experience than it being like my first ever thing.
A
Yeah.
B
Which also can work. You know, there's no rules to anything. But I love being married.
A
Great.
B
Like, I don't know, it's, it's again, such a natural fit for me. You know, I think some people have maybe non monogamous or things like that. And there's like, you know, so many things going on now. But the reason I've never cheated or I don't cheat or I like monogamy.
A
I think all the hate that people had for trans people should have. We should have saved it for the polish for the poly people.
B
Thank you. I agree. I agree. More hate on the poly. Could you imagine we're advocating start poly hate. I, I don't cheat. Not because, like I'm not supposed to. Because it's a rule. Like you don't cheat. It's like I genuinely don't. It doesn't cross. Yeah. I genuinely. Let's say Gabby. Whatever wanted. Let's say Gabby. She's not Paul. We're both the same this way. But let's say I was with somebody who was poly and they wanted to. I would probably stay home. I, I. Okay. So doing like, it wouldn't.
A
You don't think it would hurt you?
B
Oh, yeah. Maybe it would hurt me if it was a secret cheating. But I'm just saying it's not like I would be. I would just probably wait for her to come home. Like, I'm just. Okay. Like my, my, my wife's not home. I'm gonna watch TV tonight. I'll see you tomorrow. Like, I'm just not a multiple. Like, I am very focused even in, in my work and, and in my relationship and in, I'm, I'm hyper interested in things and maybe that, maybe that's a, you know, autism quality or whatever, which could be also cultural and whatever. But it's like. Yeah, when I like something, I like it a long time. My glasses I've had for I don't know. 14 years now.
A
Yeah.
B
I found the glasses. They were on a teddy bear in a window. They were small. My head is small. Your head is small. It's hard for us to find small glasses.
A
Thanks for noticing. Well, I like a physically big head, but small face.
B
Small face. That's. Yeah. So small face is tough. And I saw them and I've never had to think about them since.
A
Yeah.
B
I'm not somebody with the trends. And I know plastic came in and then went out and then metal came back and I was here again. Okay. So we're still. That's fantastic that it's in again because I just. When I like something, I just like the thing.
A
Yeah.
B
And I. I can listen to the same song over and over for 20 years. I mean, I'm not somebody always chasing the new music or when I like something, I really tend to like it.
A
But you do want me to dress better?
B
I want that. That would be a joy. Yeah. No, no. Because I think we could make you.
A
I don't love this.
B
Do you have a girlfriend?
A
Yes.
B
How long?
A
Three years.
B
Oh, wow. Do you live together?
A
No.
B
Okay. We can talk off the pot, but I definitely.
A
It's all. It's interesting and great.
B
What I do like what you wear is when you wear a button down.
A
I know. I just literally did.
B
No, no, no. I think you do that. Well, I don't always love a. To the top button, but on you, you work it out.
A
Thank you.
B
Just like I don't love every dude a long hair, but Johnny Depp did his thing. Like, I give credit, you know, work like he did his thing.
A
Yeah.
B
There's no question. If you're gonna be a dude with long hair, you want to be him.
A
Yes.
B
You know, just like the button up to. It's not. It's. It's a sophisticated. It's. It's something different. Not everybody should be doing it, but you do it.
A
Totally agreed. Thank you. And those are all, by the way. Those are custom shirts.
B
Wow. Okay. That's what I like. That's what I like to hear that you're treating yourself.
A
I feel like we did good.
B
Oh, good. Really? Okay. I was intimidated. My brother was.
A
You're objectively interesting.
B
Thank you.
A
So that's. And you're opinionated and you don't really seem to the shame. The, like, why are you annoying? Thing is interesting. But, like, I don't. I don't need you to. Don't, don't, don't. Stop questioning yourself.
B
Yeah. And I'm trying to Learn that.
A
That's, that's you're bringing, you're bringing action.
B
Yeah. And, and I mostly enjoy myself, but those are things that make me embarrassed. And also just like with the body stuff. I don't know anyone who's not like, yes, I gotta cut my tits off. But of course there's a million things. If I had to change my water. But you also gotta self accept, like, it's not gonna ever be perfect. Like, just get good enough, you know? Get, get good enough. I'm sure people, you know, it's not just women who have these issues. I'm sure guys want the six pack or they want this, but it's like, okay, maybe they're not going to get the six pack, but they don't. They're not going to be 300 pounds overweight. You know, they'll get, get good enough. And you can enjoy plenty at that, at that space. It doesn't have to be whatever you think the perfect is.
A
And everybody doesn't have to like, get, get okay with like, I don't. I don't get it and I don't like it.
B
Yeah, I don't get it. That's fine. You don't.
A
I don't. You have to do it.
B
I hate when I ask people like, hey, like let's say directions. Like, do you know which way Sunset is? And they go. I go, it's no. Say no. I don't know. It is okay not to know. Don't start to. Don't live trying. I think you don't know. Just like me. Nothing embarrassed. I'm the one who asked. I didn't know either.
A
You have a ton in common with this person. Neither of you know where Sunset.
B
It's insane.
A
I am Robbie Hoffman. Robbie Hoffman was here, everybody. And it's. I dare you to forget it.
B
Robbie Hoffman. Wake up. Streaming on Netflix thank you so much for helping that pop off. It really means the world for me. You can continue.
A
It's never too late, guys.
B
It's also streaming worldwide now. I know there's people in Germany who've been asking about it, which shocks me. I believe that worldwide there was something. It wasn't 100% worldwide, but we're 100% worldwide now.
A
None of them are 100%.
B
Yeah, they roll it out depending.
A
I think there are.
B
Maybe there's some. Oh yeah. Maybe some countries don't get it. And by the way, that's, you know, not for some countries. I don't think it's legal to have me. I don't know. I don't know, but you can check that out. I'm on Tour. It's about 95% sold out. Get what's left of that. I am Robbie Hoffman on Instagram. Follow me for nudes. Thank you so much, Neil. Also, my podcast, my love to Shmuley. Oh, my God, Shmuel. Shmuel will have to have you on my podcast to debrief this episode. Maybe we'll live watch it. Maybe we'll live watch it and live respond to it. That would be fun. Yes. My podcast, Too Far is available Patreon only. We don't receive any. We don't accept any corporate dollars as they won't give them to us. So Too Far on Patreon only. And we're gonna probably debrief this episode.
A
Can't wait.
B
Wow. Thank you, Neil.
A
Incredible. Open up your hand.
B
Moment.
In this engaging and candid episode, Neal Brennan sits down with comedian Robby Hoffman for an in-depth conversation that traverses childhood poverty, big families, religious upbringings, identity, gender, comedy, self-acceptance, and how to navigate a world that often doesn't understand you. The episode is equal parts hilarious and heartfelt, exploring the “blocks” that make us feel different and how we persevere by embracing those differences. Robby discusses her journey from a poor Orthodox Jewish family, her feelings of being an outsider, her comedy's origins, and personal choices, such as undergoing top surgery, all while peppered with sharp wit and stories from her life.
Growing Up Poor in a Large, Orthodox Jewish Family
Parental Divorce and Leaving the Orthodox Community
Education as a Pathway
Always an Outsider, Always Opinionated
Anecdotes: Family Table, Interruptions, and Humor as Survival
Gender Presentation and Top Surgery
Navigating Change, Setting "Parental" Controls
Ownership of Personality and Limits
On being “annoying”:
— “My whole life, I’ve been told I’m annoying. Yeah, shut up. You know, and by the way, from everyone, from my sister to teachers.” – Robby (20:39)
On gender and clothing:
— “I don’t choose taste. Like when you go to a store, when you go to Uniqlo and they have the women’s section and the men’s section like this… I go, ‘Ooh, new… new brown cords. I wonder if they have my size.’” – Robby (69:53)
On not needing to be understood:
— “Like, I just don’t think that I need to be understood. Like, let’s say I cut my tits off and somebody doesn’t understand that. That’s fine with me. There’s so much I don’t understand.” – Robby (41:59)
On staying true to herself:
— “I just stopped policing so much how I sound, how I look. But it was over time. I would just play around with it.” – Robby (33:09)
On the gift and burden of self-belief:
— “I actually was first to think. I think there's something here.” – Robby (75:58)
— “I wouldn't wish a calling on my worst enemy.” – Robby (78:54)
On marriage and monogamy:
— “I love being married to my wife… When I like something, I like it a long time.” – Robby (84:01)
— “More hate on the poly. Could you imagine we’re advocating start poly hate.” – Robby, jokingly (82:46)
The conversation is lively, honest, and unfiltered, with both participants embracing candor and self-deprecating humor. Robby’s style is forceful and fast-paced, but always heartfelt; Neal brings reflection and recognition, often relating through parallel family and outsider experiences. The tone balances the hilarious (hard-hitting opinions, sibling barbs, gender jokes) with the sincere (childhood hardships, self-discovery, and the pursuit of self-acceptance).
This episode encapsulates what makes "Blocks" special: a blend of comedy, vulnerability, and insight. Robby Hoffman shares her story authentically, illustrating how embracing what makes us “too much” or different can become the very source of our strength and fulfillment. Whether discussing the pain of poverty, the chaos of big families, or the intricacies of gender identity, Robby proves that it’s possible to be unapologetically yourself — and have a lot of laughs along the way.
Robbie Hoffman's special, Wake Up, is streaming on Netflix.
Follow Robby: @IAmRobbyHoffman.
Podcast: Too Far (Patreon only).
Notable Quote to End:
“I always felt in the back, like...I have nothing. But then I always felt like, I have me. It’s not nothing. It’s close to nothing… but it isn’t actually nothing. And let’s see what we could do with that, like, nugget, like, that tiny flame.” – Robby (73:11)